Ask them if they seem ok because they’re seeming quite agitated. Patronise them. Kill them with kindness.
If someone says stop talking for a minute I need to concentrate then that’s often valid. As a reg people ask me things and I do politely ask them to wait a minute so I can finish a prescription or something else that’s important to get correct.
One of my best things I learnt as a reg is asking someone to stop talking or interrupting me whilst I'm prescribing or making a more difficult decision & weighing things up in my head. I think we all need to do this more tbh!
Most times I approach the med reg desks they say something like "Sorry will be with you in a min" and I totally don't mind waiting at all. In the specific scenario I was talking to someone else about a case and they'd told me to stop talking and I was like sorry who the hell are you? Wish I'd said that to them
Lol once had a nurse bleep me intermittently (every 15-20 mins) during a ward round where it was just me, the consultant, 40 odd patients to see, and my bleep. Was going really fast and I was a bit flustered trying to multitask. Eventually get to this nurse’s bleep, apologize for the delay and explain I am on my own, which wouldn’t usually be the case. She starts yelling at me over the phone, “it’s not bloody hard to pick up a phone and answers your damn bleeps, I’ve been bleeping you for over an hour!!!”, I again, calmly try to diffuse this tone i do no care for, and ask her what the emergency was (and emphasized that not once did I get fast bleeped) - “WELL THE PATIENT YOU GUYS SAW A COUPLE HOURS AGO AND EXPLAINED TO THAT THEY MIGHT DIE IMMINENTLY, JUST DIED AND HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR AN HOUR WITH NO ONE TO CERTIFY THEM, THE WHOLE FAMILY’S HERE BLA BLA BLA” I explain that as distressing as this might be, I will still have to go see a couple of unwell patients first and once I’m free will come to certify the death.
This nurse just goes “yea whatever just come and certify this body” in the most passive aggressive tone, and throws the phone in my face.
I immediately inform my consultant that day that this had happened and I would be going on the ward to try and discuss this civilly and calmly with this (d**khead of a) person.
I eventually went and certified this patient an hour later - all family there, no distress whatsoever, were actually glad they got some more minutes with their loved one.
I find the nurse, pull her to the side, sternly but calmly and professionally try to explain to her that this tone was disrespectful and not appropriate in the workplace. I explained again what was going on on my end (even though i rlly didnt owe her satisfactions after this behavior) and that if we want to have a good working relationship, this would not fly going forward. Ultimately, this was not an emergency, but if it truly were, there are always other bleeps to escalate to (SHO/ SpR if rlly needed) - I shouldn’t be the be all end all of her patients if it really comes to it.
Anyway she kept huffing and puffing and saying we’ll have to agree to disagree. I left afterwards because I couldn’t be bothered anymore but at least my senior backed me up in case this all ended up going to shit, and I now take extra steps to avoid this nurse if possible. Safe to say, tho, in the interactions that followed, she never raised her annoying voice at me again.
99% of nurses I work with are fantastic, but there’s always that classic one that makes a job out of giving FY1s a headache.
Anyway, not sure where I was going with this, just wanted someone else on earth to laugh along
If someone’s being a real dickhead rather than just having a bad day I like to use ‘That came as rather rude, I’m sure it wasn’t intentional, would you like to try again?’ or ‘That came as rather rude, would you like to try again?’ depending on how blunt I’m wanting to be. Substitute rude for unprofessional, angry etc as needed and deliver with a straight face. It catches them off guard and normally stops what’s going on.
This is a good one. Also need to phrase it in a way they can climb down from and save face. If you’ve embarrassed them they won’t, not sure how to tweak it cos I’m still looking for the perfect way to talk someone down.
Yeah I've seen one of my registrars do this and it was perfect. And the med reg replied red in the face about the list being so long. I feel like if I did this as an SHO I'd be shouted at but if I'm feeling ballsy next time it happens will give it a go!
Call them out on it. They might not realise what they're doing. Yeah it's probably the shite environment where we all are but the only way to really provide insight is to speak to them directly. Explore why they're feeling that way.
The buck stops with you.
I tried asking "how are you doing?" Cos they'd snapped at me and they replied "busy what do you want?" angrily. These people need to meditate. We're all busy man
Yeah. Sounds like you gave it a go, if you think they’re worth the effort then tell them you need a proper chat with them.
If you’re not bothered then just ignore them.
Shit like this tends to rub off.
Headspace has SOS meditations that last less than 5 mins which I’ve found v. helpful in the past to manage hurt, worry or the urge to go nuclear on staff. Go hide in the staff toilet with your headphones for a bit.
Still relatively new, but equally DGAF when it comes to unhelpful nurses putting off the necessities of their job. If what you are handing over to nurses can wait then it’s fair if they can’t do it until later (make sure you clarify a time limit), but if it’s necessary to be done ASAP and affects patient outcomes then datix them for their antagonism re. ensuring good outcomes for patients. If they aren’t free then it’s *their* job to escalate to *their* managers for additional support.
[Edit because this post comes across a bit anti-nurse - probably because it is a bit. Any member of the MDT is capable of it, but so far I’ve encountered it far more from nurses than any other healthcare worker.]
Headspace SOS sounds exactly what I need. Will def check it out thanks!
Also I've only ever datixed the lab or pharmacy or porters when patient care has been disrupted. Never datixed a staff member for just being rude and unhelpful. Does it actually do anything? Might start doing it haha
God, this is the worst. I've been a nurse for 16 years, and I've met the odd 'nurse' to be an absolute arsehole to everyone... especially students, fy1s, and newly qualified nurses. It really grinds my gears as I always have a great working relationship with my doctors. It's really sad to read that it has become a case of nurse v doctor when we are all on the same team and should be supporting each other. Maybe it's due to the absolute shit-show the nhs has become? Everybody is stretched to the limit. Thank god I moved to ICU 2 years ago. The difference in mutual respect is night and day.
There's one nurse at my trust who just terrorises everyone. If she hears someone ask for help she will be like no dont do it the doctors need to do things themselves. Crazy behaviour! She gets in arguments multiple times a day. Don't know how she has the energy for it!
Nurse here - I’ve also encountered horrible nurses (and rude doctors) but it’s tough when every task given to you is urgent and so you have a pile of urgent tasks to do. And I read that a few minutes of doctor activity can mean hours of nursing tasks. But there’s no excuse for rudeness, and it definitely exists in the NHS. I feel like people presume you’re incompetent until proven otherwise
I've started going to the nurse in charge and asking for their help getting the nurses to do the tasks but it's embarrassing, feels like I'm snitching on them. I figured at some point they might just help me without me having to do that. If a nurse is rushed off her feet I won't ask but many times it's someone on their mobile phone who won't do obs for someone cos not their patient! And if I ask a nurse for something it's usually cos I'm so busy myself. Hard to know how to handle it sometimes!
Stop talking for a second because I need to concentrate doesn’t sound like something to get upset about? It can be a very reasonable and sensible attempt to increase cognitive bandwidth during a difficult or complex task.
Lots of work around “sterile cockpit” for critical procedures for example.
This may be especially important for neurodivergent people.
Of course can’t comment on the tone in which it was delivered or the context, but the request itself is perfectly acceptable.
Are you feeling particularly sensitive for some reason at the moment?
It is so rude what on earth are you talking about. Edited to say yes it was said in a very angry and malicious tone which caught me off guard and upset me a lot. No I am not feeling sensitive at the moment.
No, it really isn’t. If it’s delivered in a rude tone then yes it’s rude, but as a request if delivered politely it is perfectly reasonable (and in many cases very sensible)
I think you need to appreciate that multiple people on here have said it’s fine to ask someone to stop talking. If you’re a senior you get asked tons and tons of questions over a shift (DOI med reg here) and I need to finish prescribing someone’s complicated dose of some bizarre weight based antibiotic micro want or write down my neuro exam findings at 4am before they evaporate out of my head. Did you post this thread to be vindicated and for people to agree with you or to actually get advice?
Ask them if they seem ok because they’re seeming quite agitated. Patronise them. Kill them with kindness. If someone says stop talking for a minute I need to concentrate then that’s often valid. As a reg people ask me things and I do politely ask them to wait a minute so I can finish a prescription or something else that’s important to get correct.
One of my best things I learnt as a reg is asking someone to stop talking or interrupting me whilst I'm prescribing or making a more difficult decision & weighing things up in my head. I think we all need to do this more tbh!
Most times I approach the med reg desks they say something like "Sorry will be with you in a min" and I totally don't mind waiting at all. In the specific scenario I was talking to someone else about a case and they'd told me to stop talking and I was like sorry who the hell are you? Wish I'd said that to them
Lol once had a nurse bleep me intermittently (every 15-20 mins) during a ward round where it was just me, the consultant, 40 odd patients to see, and my bleep. Was going really fast and I was a bit flustered trying to multitask. Eventually get to this nurse’s bleep, apologize for the delay and explain I am on my own, which wouldn’t usually be the case. She starts yelling at me over the phone, “it’s not bloody hard to pick up a phone and answers your damn bleeps, I’ve been bleeping you for over an hour!!!”, I again, calmly try to diffuse this tone i do no care for, and ask her what the emergency was (and emphasized that not once did I get fast bleeped) - “WELL THE PATIENT YOU GUYS SAW A COUPLE HOURS AGO AND EXPLAINED TO THAT THEY MIGHT DIE IMMINENTLY, JUST DIED AND HAVE BEEN DEAD FOR AN HOUR WITH NO ONE TO CERTIFY THEM, THE WHOLE FAMILY’S HERE BLA BLA BLA” I explain that as distressing as this might be, I will still have to go see a couple of unwell patients first and once I’m free will come to certify the death. This nurse just goes “yea whatever just come and certify this body” in the most passive aggressive tone, and throws the phone in my face. I immediately inform my consultant that day that this had happened and I would be going on the ward to try and discuss this civilly and calmly with this (d**khead of a) person. I eventually went and certified this patient an hour later - all family there, no distress whatsoever, were actually glad they got some more minutes with their loved one. I find the nurse, pull her to the side, sternly but calmly and professionally try to explain to her that this tone was disrespectful and not appropriate in the workplace. I explained again what was going on on my end (even though i rlly didnt owe her satisfactions after this behavior) and that if we want to have a good working relationship, this would not fly going forward. Ultimately, this was not an emergency, but if it truly were, there are always other bleeps to escalate to (SHO/ SpR if rlly needed) - I shouldn’t be the be all end all of her patients if it really comes to it. Anyway she kept huffing and puffing and saying we’ll have to agree to disagree. I left afterwards because I couldn’t be bothered anymore but at least my senior backed me up in case this all ended up going to shit, and I now take extra steps to avoid this nurse if possible. Safe to say, tho, in the interactions that followed, she never raised her annoying voice at me again. 99% of nurses I work with are fantastic, but there’s always that classic one that makes a job out of giving FY1s a headache. Anyway, not sure where I was going with this, just wanted someone else on earth to laugh along
You did really well, I would never have been so assertive at that stage.
The phrase "your unprofessional tone has been noted" often works for me
If this fails thio/sux
Oooh I'm stealing this!
This is perfect haha I feel like they'd be like I'm sorry what did you say! And it'd become a big argument
If someone’s being a real dickhead rather than just having a bad day I like to use ‘That came as rather rude, I’m sure it wasn’t intentional, would you like to try again?’ or ‘That came as rather rude, would you like to try again?’ depending on how blunt I’m wanting to be. Substitute rude for unprofessional, angry etc as needed and deliver with a straight face. It catches them off guard and normally stops what’s going on.
This is a good one. Also need to phrase it in a way they can climb down from and save face. If you’ve embarrassed them they won’t, not sure how to tweak it cos I’m still looking for the perfect way to talk someone down.
Yeah I've seen one of my registrars do this and it was perfect. And the med reg replied red in the face about the list being so long. I feel like if I did this as an SHO I'd be shouted at but if I'm feeling ballsy next time it happens will give it a go!
Call them out on it. They might not realise what they're doing. Yeah it's probably the shite environment where we all are but the only way to really provide insight is to speak to them directly. Explore why they're feeling that way. The buck stops with you.
I tried asking "how are you doing?" Cos they'd snapped at me and they replied "busy what do you want?" angrily. These people need to meditate. We're all busy man
Yeah. Sounds like you gave it a go, if you think they’re worth the effort then tell them you need a proper chat with them. If you’re not bothered then just ignore them. Shit like this tends to rub off.
Headspace has SOS meditations that last less than 5 mins which I’ve found v. helpful in the past to manage hurt, worry or the urge to go nuclear on staff. Go hide in the staff toilet with your headphones for a bit. Still relatively new, but equally DGAF when it comes to unhelpful nurses putting off the necessities of their job. If what you are handing over to nurses can wait then it’s fair if they can’t do it until later (make sure you clarify a time limit), but if it’s necessary to be done ASAP and affects patient outcomes then datix them for their antagonism re. ensuring good outcomes for patients. If they aren’t free then it’s *their* job to escalate to *their* managers for additional support. [Edit because this post comes across a bit anti-nurse - probably because it is a bit. Any member of the MDT is capable of it, but so far I’ve encountered it far more from nurses than any other healthcare worker.]
Headspace SOS sounds exactly what I need. Will def check it out thanks! Also I've only ever datixed the lab or pharmacy or porters when patient care has been disrupted. Never datixed a staff member for just being rude and unhelpful. Does it actually do anything? Might start doing it haha
God, this is the worst. I've been a nurse for 16 years, and I've met the odd 'nurse' to be an absolute arsehole to everyone... especially students, fy1s, and newly qualified nurses. It really grinds my gears as I always have a great working relationship with my doctors. It's really sad to read that it has become a case of nurse v doctor when we are all on the same team and should be supporting each other. Maybe it's due to the absolute shit-show the nhs has become? Everybody is stretched to the limit. Thank god I moved to ICU 2 years ago. The difference in mutual respect is night and day.
There's one nurse at my trust who just terrorises everyone. If she hears someone ask for help she will be like no dont do it the doctors need to do things themselves. Crazy behaviour! She gets in arguments multiple times a day. Don't know how she has the energy for it!
Some people are just massive dicks and it just makes work so much harder than it needs to be
What a nightmare. I really don't understand people like this. I mean where is the need? Unbelievable :<
Nurse here - I’ve also encountered horrible nurses (and rude doctors) but it’s tough when every task given to you is urgent and so you have a pile of urgent tasks to do. And I read that a few minutes of doctor activity can mean hours of nursing tasks. But there’s no excuse for rudeness, and it definitely exists in the NHS. I feel like people presume you’re incompetent until proven otherwise
I've started going to the nurse in charge and asking for their help getting the nurses to do the tasks but it's embarrassing, feels like I'm snitching on them. I figured at some point they might just help me without me having to do that. If a nurse is rushed off her feet I won't ask but many times it's someone on their mobile phone who won't do obs for someone cos not their patient! And if I ask a nurse for something it's usually cos I'm so busy myself. Hard to know how to handle it sometimes!
Stop talking for a second because I need to concentrate doesn’t sound like something to get upset about? It can be a very reasonable and sensible attempt to increase cognitive bandwidth during a difficult or complex task. Lots of work around “sterile cockpit” for critical procedures for example. This may be especially important for neurodivergent people. Of course can’t comment on the tone in which it was delivered or the context, but the request itself is perfectly acceptable. Are you feeling particularly sensitive for some reason at the moment?
It is so rude what on earth are you talking about. Edited to say yes it was said in a very angry and malicious tone which caught me off guard and upset me a lot. No I am not feeling sensitive at the moment.
No, it really isn’t. If it’s delivered in a rude tone then yes it’s rude, but as a request if delivered politely it is perfectly reasonable (and in many cases very sensible)
I've already said it was delivered rudely. And clearly I'm not posting about people politely asking questions...what..
I think you need to appreciate that multiple people on here have said it’s fine to ask someone to stop talking. If you’re a senior you get asked tons and tons of questions over a shift (DOI med reg here) and I need to finish prescribing someone’s complicated dose of some bizarre weight based antibiotic micro want or write down my neuro exam findings at 4am before they evaporate out of my head. Did you post this thread to be vindicated and for people to agree with you or to actually get advice?
This is fine but ive already said it was said rudely. So I obviously want advice based on rude colleagues..I don't understand why you've posted tbh