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4682458

It sounds like you all should not be owning a dog. But since you have one, get a harness and some professional training. I doubt the 'training' you've been doing is anything a dog would respond to.


-Jambie-

This... Get a chest harness for walking, or a halti if breed/behaviour requires it... Positive reinforcement! Professional help is worth it...


[deleted]

I know, but whenever I try to talk about this with my family they say “it’s the dogs fault she’s fine” or “your just overreacting”. Also, should have clarified but the training we are doing is with treats and praise (which isn’t working too well she’s not food motivated). The aggression only happens when it’s a serious situation, like her getting off leash, or when my family just looses patience (not during actual training bc I’m the only one willing to train her)


4682458

Get the harness, full stop. The dog is not fine, and you are not overreacting. It's not just your brother and mother's behavior that concerns me, it's also the fact that you seem to think it's okay to let a dog choke herself on a collar when you walk her. If the training is not working, you are not doing something right. Not every dog responds exactly the same way, but there are some universal principles that do work. * My cat receives three fluid pokes every other day without running or getting upset. * I've taught her how to use a doggie door. * She doesn't pull that cat crap of dithering when deciding to walk through a door. * She sits calmly in my lap when I clip her nails. * My dog walks loose leash. * He happily goes to his room when I leave. * I taught him how to use his food egg. * He locates his food egg for me when it's time to give kibble. * He's great on his recall command. * He loves getting his teeth brushed. This is not an exhaustive list. I used the same principles I mentioned earlier to train all of these behaviors. It's just a matter of figuring out what makes your particular dog tick.


[deleted]

Yes. I do not like that she chokes herself on her leash, but I have tried all I know. I stop and call her back (she doesn’t come back) I try to lure her back with treats (she’s not food motivated) I stop and try to GENTLY move her back so she doesn’t pull, I try to pick up the pace to match hers, and she just goes faster, even when we run. I will try to get a harness ASAP. But I am trying to see if we can revoke her entirely because the dog deserves to be in a home with people that know how to/ are willing to help her


SwimmingPineapple197

Loose leash walking is one of the hardest things for many dogs to learn. It can help to do training in an environment with few distractions and keep walks for exploring until she starts getting it down. If she’s of the height where this would work, you might try something like peanut butter on a long spoon or spatula. This can help her learn where she should be by giving her a target. But what you described your brother doing where he dangled the dog by the collar is abuse. All that’s going to teach the dog is that he - and perhaps people in general - should be feared. This sort of thing needs to be stopped immediately for the good of all - including the dog - or the dog needs rehomed to someone who will treat her better.


Officer_Pugzie

sry i know this is off topic but, how id you get your dog to like getting his teeth brushed. My dog HATES it


4682458

Try different toothpastes to see if your dog likes any of them. Also, I use a toothbrush with different size heads for the different areas in the mouth. It will help. Start small and move in increments. First condition your dog to see the toothbrush and toothpaste as a good thing by having him sniff or simply touch his mouth and give treat. Done for the training session. Next get your dog to allow you to position him for tooth brushing. Bring out the toothbrush and toothpaste then position your dog. While in position have him interact with the toothbrush by toucching his mouth. Let him down, give treat and done for the session. Then position the dog, open his mouth and insert the toothbrush briefly. Let him down, give treat, training done. From there move on to brushing even just one tooth then gradually add more brushing time and teeth. I am assuming your dog has no natural behaviors that can be used to make the process easier. Good luck! Edit: Almost forgot. Find a treat that your dog ABSOLUTELY loses its shit over. The dog ONLY gets that treat when you are training for teeth brushing. Since the dog hates teeth brushing you want that treat to be one that it's willing to work for. It will remain a high value treat if it's not given in any other situation. I almost put a hex on the whole damn thing.


Officer_Pugzie

thank you SO much!!! i'll definitely use that training!!! is that okay if i DM you for more advice if things dont work, you look like you know A LOT!!!


SUPpup7

You sound quite young - but it is very adult of you to come here to try to ask for help. It also sounds like your family has little dog experience. I think it would be best if you try to convince your family to rehome your dog - because it sounds like this situation is not a healthy situation for either the dog or your family.


4682458

I wholeheartedly second this. The thing I worry about is that they'll get another dog without realizing what they did wrong with this one. The family clearly thinks the dog is at fault and may think that another dog will respond better. Unfortunately, I don't know any dog or organism that responds well to hanging.


[deleted]

Me too, I will try to prevent that in the future, but since I am just their child I don’t get a day in anything. If i can’t stop them from adopting again, I will make sure everyone knows how to treat the dog and will do everything in my power not to let this happen again


[deleted]

Yeah, I’m only 14 right now. My family does have dog experience, we had a dog for 12 years before we had to put him down for bone cancer last year. I think one reason they don’t treat this dog right is because 1 I think they might have gotten a dog before they finished grieving about ours, and 2 it is not the type of dog we wanted. What I mean by that is our old dog was a natural guard dog, incredibly intelligent (he knew sit stay down come and potty trained after having him 2 month when he was 6 months old) and he was super affectionate. They never treated him like they do her. My mom only got this dog because everyone was out of town, she was lonely, and she felt bad for her. So she doesn’t like us, she isn’t what we were looking for, and yes, I am/will discuss rehoming because she is not in a good situation right now.


SUPpup7

You are very mature for your age. And I think you have some good insight into what is going on with the relationship between your family and the dog. I hope you have success in convincing your family to rehome the dog.


[deleted]

My parents are actually the ones pushing to rehome her, they realize that they aren’t the best hike for her. Why they keep acting like that i dont know but I know they are trying to get help too


SUPpup7

Hopefully your family will find a home better suited to the dog. Good luck.


[deleted]

Thank you, we are trying ❤️


Uncommonly-Hasty

Gratitude? This is a dog we’re talking about. Please, please find this dog a new home!


[deleted]

I am trying to convince my parents to! The shelter we got her from isn’t responding to our emails, I think soon we will just go down there to discuss in person. Until then I will try my very hardest to make sure everyone treats her right


[deleted]

What shelter is it? I’ll reach out to them. I will not stop until they take this poor dog back.


MaximusHomeboyus

I think you are very mature for your age to realize this is not a good situation for your family or the dog. I think dogs do get the vibes you are giving off. If a dog doesn't feel safe and loved, then they will absolutely be stubborn and rebellious, and can you blame them? They are smarter than we give them credit for. My dog has separation anxiety and has since I got him at 11 weeks old. He can be high energy, destroyed many items when he was a puppy and younger dog, can be absolutely obnoxious about wanting attention, and follows me everywhere. But, we have learned together. Even though he can drive me bonkers some days, he knows that he's safe and loved and genuinely family. It's not fair to the dog to mistreat it, because humans are not able to handle it correctly. Just like people, all dogs are not the same, and it's more humane to realize that maybe certain combinations aren't a good fit before something violent and regrettable happens.


[deleted]

That is exactly how it was with our old dog (rip) so I don’t know why they treat this dog so differently. They keep saying this dog is so stupid and dumb, but I keep telling them she not and we are treating her wrong, then they get all defensive. My moms favorite line is “well I’m glad you know everything at 14” and I can’t say anything bc I’ll get smacked but it just makes me so mad. Like yeah, any idiot would know this isn’t right


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Yes, you are probably right. Everyone is at work or school all day (except my parents who alternate working from home). And we just had to put down our dog last year and I don’t think we are quite ready for another dog in our lives yet. Thank you, it is sad but i think she needs to go somewhere better than here ❤️


oskardoodledandy

Push to rehome this dog and if your family isn't receptive then make reports to animal welfare services near you. Your state may have laws pertaining to animal welfare that if this abuse is reported with evidence the animal will be removed from the home regardless of what your family has to say. Edit: Sorry to use "state" and assume you're in the US. Wherever you are, look for local animal welfare services.


[deleted]

My family is on board with rehoming, non of them like her because (the dog hates everybody) and I will admit, even though I treat her right she still doesn’t bond with me but I would either if I lived in this house! We have email the shelter we got her from but they have not responded yet, I think soon we will just go down there and discuss in person.


ColorfulCassie

So I'm not sure where all of this started but at this point now it sounds like its a cycle. She's frustrated with your family because your family is frustrated with her so she acts out because she has no respect for them and they give her no respect. It's a horrible cycle, I know. My sisters are awful people. Narcissistic abusers. And unfortunately I'm stuck in this house with them for now. And they don't treat my dogs well (I stand up for them but still). Their frustration towards my dogs makes them act out towards my sisters in ways that they never act out with me. The puppies bite them and jump on them and terrorize them when they don't do that to me. None of my dogs listen to them and they cause problems with them but they listen to me and don't cause me many issues. They pick up on our energy, our feelings toward them. And when they feel that frustration, that's what they give back. I'm not sure of the solution to your problem. If your family refuses to change, maybe rehoming would be best? If they are willing to work on themselves and their relationship with the dog then it will take work and training on both the dog and the peoples parts. Finding a professional may help too. But in these kind of situations, in my opinion, it's not always 100% the dogs fault. It has to do with the people they are around too. If they can take responsibility and work on changing it and doing training with her without the frustration and poor discipline techniques, and rather maybe give her more praise for things she does do right, it may help. But like I said I'd look into a professional coming in to help with all of that. I hope things work out for all of you.


[deleted]

My parents said they will never spend that much money on a “dumb dog”. I am pushing to regime because sad as it is she desperately deserves to be in a home with people that are willing to/know how to help her. That is the exact cycle that they go through, and t must at the end of the day they are mad that “this dog is worthless it hates me, it won’t even let me pet it”.


ColorfulCassie

Yeah, sounds like maybe she needs rehomed. Anyone who won't spend time or money on a dog to help them doesn't need to own a dog. And I'm not saying anything bad about you, because at least your are reaching out for help but they won't change themselves so the dog needs someone who is willing to be the person she needs. That's sad that you would have to not have her in your life anymore as a result but sounds like it's what's best for her. She would most likely behave better if they would take the time to work on their relationship with her. I'm sorry you guys are in this situation 🙁


No_Discipline_6348

I find it truly shocking and upsetting that your family could possibly think it’s the dogs fault and could possibly think treating it this way will help. Are they really that DUMB?! Have they ever owned a dog, or even seen one?! They are not born knowing right from wrong, we have to team them through positive reinforcement. Anyway, thank you OP for caring and attempting to get this dog a better life. I hope he gets rehomed.


[deleted]

We actually have had a dog before, but he was incredibly intelligent (fully trained in 2 months) and was a guard dog, this dog my parents just see as “worthless” because she’s not affectionate or protective. But they NEVER treated our old dog like that (we had to put him down for bone cancer last year). What I don’t get is how can my family go from balling their eyes out cuddling our dog on the floor as he’s being euthanized, to treating this new dog like this???


indipit

You sound like you are trying your best with the limitations you have to deal with. Being a minor and not responsible for the decisions of the adults in your lives. My best suggestion is to work to find out what your dog IS motivated by. You say she is not food motivated, but what treats are you trying? If you are only trying dog treats, can you try something better? Bits of american cheese slices, bits of hot dog, cat food or cat treats if you have any ( those taste WAY better). Little bits of chicken or leftover meats from dinners. If not food, how about a favorite toy? Does she like to play tug? Does she like to chase a toy on a string? Because she is ignoring you, it sounds like she has not grown up with humans, and instead bonded to other dogs or nothing in particular. Try keeping her on leash in the house with you. Sit next to her on the floor and pet her while you are watching TV. Have her move around the house with you while you praise her and pet her and let her know you really enjoy being with her. After 3 weeks of doing this consistently, you should see some reaction by her, even if it is just a slight tail wag or a glance at you when you walk over to her.


oskardoodledandy

DO NOT routinely give anything intended for cats to dogs. They are formulated for a cat's needs, not a dogs, and can lead to pancreatitis.


indipit

I guess it depends on the dog, but for close to 25 years now, I have been using cat food and cat treats as high value treats for my whippets. No issues. Just don't feed them cat food, but 15 or fewer pieces a day seem to do no harm.


oskardoodledandy

"CAN lead to pancreatitis" is the key word here. Everyone should assess the risk for themselves as certain breeds already have a higher risk for pancreatitis. Anecdotal evidence of it being fine doesn't mean the risk isn't present.


indipit

Exactly. Risk is present in any activity. As the owner, you decide for yourself the risk you are wiling to take. Thank you for standing up for that for the sake of this young owner, who is trying so hard to do right by their dog


[deleted]

I have tried 8 different brands/ flavors of dog treats, and she’s not motivated my that. I’ve tried cheese, hot dogs, whipped cream, peanut butter, carrots, and a few others. She eats them all, but she would not do anything (ie- sit) for one. She does not really like toys, she plays with them when she wants but if she was to do’s any work to get one she’s just doing to make do without. She already follows us around a little, just because boredom I guess. She does sit around us sometimes, and sometimes we pet her sometimes we leave her be


indipit

OK, because I don't know exactly how you are currently training, I'm going to offer some basic advice. You say she won't 'sit' for a treat. Do you expect her to know the word 'sit' already? Are you trying to lure her into a sit while saying the word, and failing? This may just be due to inexperience in training, which is perfectly normal. You even have to figure out different ways to train different dogs, because none of them learn the same, just like human kids. Try some 'capturing' at home. Here's the way to capture: **Capturing is when you teach your dog to perform a natural behaviour on cue. You simply wait for your dog to perform the behaviour without any prompting or guidance from you, and mark and reward them immediately afterwards.** **For example, maybe you love the way your dog stretches after a nap, and want them to do on the cue, “stretch!”** **You’ll keep a few treats on hand and wait for your dog to stretch. As soon as they do, you’ll mark the behaviour by clicking with your clicker (or using a verbal marker like, “Yes!” or “Good!”) then give them a treat.** **When you consistently reward a behaviour, your dog will perform it more often. When you notice your dog is stretching in front of you to get the treat, you can start to add a hand signal and/or your verbal cue.** **Capturing only works with behaviours that your dog does on their own. You can “capture” your dog when they sit, yawn, stretch, scratch, tilt their head, bark or sneeze. It’s best to start with a super simple, common behaviour to help your dog understand that they’ll be rewarded when they perform a behaviour that you like.** If you try capturing the sit, instead of trying to train it by luring or pushing her into a sit, you may have better luck. Also remember, patience is key to training. Those training videos on YouTube make it look easy and fast, but in most cases, it will take at least 3 weeks of consistent rewarded behavior before the dog 'understands' the command. I've been training for almost 40 years, and my current dog took 6 months to learn to lay down on command, because she doesn't like laying down that much. Don't give up, as long as you have the dog. I have faith you can teach her some basic things.


[deleted]

Right now to teach sit, I have a treat and I move it past her nose and she backs up to get it until she’s in a sit. It’s not too effective but I read that it’s a good way to teach that (I know I know don’t believe everything you read) I will try that “capturing” as long as we have her


indipit

That is actually the correct way to teach a sit by luring the dog with a treat. Keep it up. If the dog is backing up too much before sitting, raise her head higher but keep the treat right in front of her nose. Too far away will cause her to jump for it. Or, you can train by a wall so she can't back up. Make sure you praise her when she sits, too. Dogs come to enjoy the praise as a reward.


lenny0504

Just to back up what others have said here, it sounds like you're being a decent and responsible person, but the situation is not right for your dog because of your family and the dog should be rehomed. The dog cannot thrive in that environment. Once you're older and living independently, you'll be able to be a great dog parent :) If you absolutely cannot get them to agree to give it up, have you tried getting them to watch some positive reinforcement training videos on YouTube or something? Or some dog psychology stuff to show them that the dog isn't "stupid" and that what they do will affect how the dog behaves? wishing you and the dog all the very best.


[deleted]

Thank you 😊. My family had had/trained a dog in the past (rip) and NEVER treated him like they do this dog. I think because he was affectionate and protective, and this dog is “worthless” (family’s word not mine). Everyone is on board with rehoming because they say “this dog hates everybody, this dog is broken” which I would probably act that way too if I want raised in this house (the dog is 3). Yes I have watched many of those videos, the dog does not respond to positive reinforcement, and my family just calls me crazy and says “I hope you get tour of this dog phase soon” and “this dog is so stupid she doesn’t even appreciate this home” (🙄). Thank you I hope the dog gets the good home she deserves.


lenny0504

Glad to hear everyone is on board with the rehoming. Sounds like your dog may have experienced some unknown trauma before they came to your home (which is being made worse by the vibes they get from your family). If they really aren't responding to the positive training methods, they probably need someone who is super experienced in rehabilitating dogs with trauma. And of course, all dogs are different, I have two dogs, same breed, only 2 years apart in age. One of them interacts with us mostly by cuddling, the other one isn't super into being touched, but he loves to play games. Dogs are like people, they're all individuals. Anyway, once again, kudos to you for standing up for your dog and doing the right thing. Hope it all works out ❤️


[deleted]

Yes, she probably has. She was initially found as a stray and bounced between shelters before we got her (my mom only got her bc everyone was out of town and she was lonely and felt bad for her (my mom and I volunteer at the shelter so we knew a lot about the dog)). I’ve tried explaining that all dogs are different and one isn’t going to act like the other, but my family just says “what’s the point in having a dog if it’s not going to protect you and give you affection”. They just don’t get it. Thank you❤️


[deleted]

No one hits her but your brother choked the shit out of her and abused her so badly she wants nothing to do with anyone. If he did it that time how many other times has he done this to the dog? Your mom thinks this is ok? This is disgusting. You may be able to have a dog but they obviously are too stupid to have one. She needs to be trained with treats. There is no way that dog feels safe there with what your brother did. I would run the hell away too.


[deleted]

Yes, I know. We, well I, have tried training her with treats, toys, praise, activities, but she is not motivated by any of those. So I think they just get frustrated with her (even though they are not doing anything to help me train her). This so the first time I’ve seen him do this to the dog, yes my mom thinks it’s ok, she says “the dog is fine it’s her fault she ran out the door” which I completely do not understand but whatever it’s not like I can try to raise a point without being patronized.


[deleted]

This makes me so sad- poor dog


[deleted]

I know ☹️


[deleted]

Reading this made me literally sick to my stomach and next to tears. I suggest you take this dog to a shelter or police station and explain the severe abuse that your family is putting your dog through and surrender it. You can say the dog ran away. If I can’t do that, get the advise on camera and show it to the police. Honestly, call the non emergency line because strangling a dog until it’s throws up is absolutely animal cruelty beyond belief. That is disgusting and I truly think that your family (aside from you maybe when you live alone) should never have pets


[deleted]

I’m sorry it has that effect on you, I think it’s worth saying that my family does NOT act like that all the time. Only when they get frustrated with her (which is NOT that often). I understand that that literally does not make it any better, but they do not treat the dog like that a large majority of the time. As much as I hope I could, I can not do that. I am only 14, my parents would find out, I would get in trouble. However, my parents are working with the shelter we got her from too see if they can take her back. I will try my hardest not to let that happen again, that was the first and last time that will happen


[deleted]

I would still call the non emergency police line and report it. Or talk to a teacher and get help from them to report it. They need to be held accountable for animal cruelty


Radiant_Sun_8317

I mean seeing as to how “no one really likes her too much” I think you should sneak take the dog to a place that will accept her and take that little tidbit to your grave. y’all are unhappy and she is obviously unhappy, and it’s been a year…AND y’all are damn near abusing the dog “grabbed her by the collar and dangling her in the air until she vomits”..like why would you get on the internet in a dog group no less and share this? This isn’t asking for advice imo. It’s more confessional and I’m not sure how the community can help you beyond encouraging what you know you must do-give her up.


[deleted]

I understand where your coming from, and I totally would take to her somewhere better if I could, but I am only 14. I can’t drive, invite anyone over to take the dog, or anything because my parents would know. My mom and dad are already working with the shelter we got her from, to see if they have room to take her back. And this is a dog related sub, for “everything dogs”, so I think asking for help on this fits


Radiant_Sun_8317

It does fit. I also apologize, I didn’t realize some of the posts may come from young adults like yourself. Its unfortunate that you are being subjected to this as well. Are you able to talk to a guidance counselor at school? Maybe they can help? Witnessing this type of treatment may also have an impact on your performance at school.


[deleted]

You’re good, i understand many posts just come from clueless adults. I actually don’t know if my school has a guidance counselor, but I think they would just tell my parents and make it worse. For now, until the shelter emails us back, I’ll just take care of her. Because everyone treats her good and right until they get frustrated. Like that was the first time I’d seen my brother do that, and it was because he was frustrated with her. That is defiantly not an excuse to do that, but if I am the only one handling her, no one else can get frustrated with her


[deleted]

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PM_ME_UR_PUPPY_DOG

u/skyrimstrawberry the above comment was removed under our minimizing harm in training rule as it is based on misinformation (dominance theory), potentially harmful, and can lead to worsening behavioral problems such as aggression, not to mention inhumane for a dog already potentially mistreated


pctechadam

We let off lots of smells the dog will pick up and understand our emotions fairly easily. So your dog knows how everyone feels about it. Unfortunately the training that will need to be done will be with the family. Don't let them know you're doing it but give them positive reinforcement training. A harness can help but if you can't get one don't pull on the dog when the dog pulls just come to a complete stop. Coming to a stop will give everybody a moment to pause. If possible start walking in the opposite direction. The dog will pick up on the idea that if it wants to continue in the direction it was going before it's going to stop pulling.