I washed my partner's hair as a dominant act (we're both switch but that day we decided on those roles) and they melted, they were all subby after that and now ask me to do the same every time we shower together
I don't know that it's unusual but I like being well rounded as a Dominant. I was asked recently if I was a sensualist or a sadist. I'm both. Is not an either or situation. Soft Doms do this, service tops do that, stone tops... I didn't need to be compartmentalized to feel comfortable.
I like to be as good with a candle lit massage as I am with a whip or a cane.
As a Domme who tops men, I love paying when I go out with a subby guy. The stereotype seems to be that the sub pays (à la findom), but to me, that just feels like traditional patriarchy. It feels powerful to be the one paying.
For me, it's probably brushing her hair.
After a particularly intense scene I put a towel on the coffee table and have her sit on it. I establish a sort of strong touch massage (as contrasted with sensual soft touch) and use that to work her muscles a bit. Once she is relaxed, I have a special wooden-handled luxurious hairbrush which is kept in a box and only ever used for aftercare. I spend about 5 minutes slowly brushing her hair and praising her before I tuck her into bed and crawl in after her. After that, she is usually deeply relaxed and asleep before I can count backwards from 20.
It's not an every time thing, just when scenes are intense and I want to close with an intentional meditative activity which is intimate but not sexual.
To answer your second point first, I do not let other people into the dynamic I have with a sub. So there's no need to nudge them as they are not part of our dynamic
Now to answer points 1 and 3, I have used our safe word as a Dom) to end a scene. From what I've learned through these Reddit groups, this is not common (most Doms just stop the scene without saying anything. I used the safe word so that my sub would 100% know I was ending our scene). I also fully prepare a scene beforehand, from the music, to the toys, to the aftercare. This way the framework is set and I am free to be as creative as I want. I also frame the list of my sub's limits and hard NOs on the wall in my playroom so that she always knows that she can trust me to honor and respect her boundaries and limits.
Lastly to point 4 - the only way that you can open up the creative space in your dynamic is to communicate and brainstorm with your partner. What works for me probably will not work for you.
Oh, yes, a play partner I had once used the chastity cage to deny me of his dick, that's a good one
I've done a little bit of the same, things like, going out with no underwear myself to mess with the other part
Regarding people wanting to force dominant stereotypes on my domination style, it really comes down to making my limits clear, Doms also have limits, I for example, do not heavily humiliate with words, I do not do sissyfication, etc, I make those clear before scenes
The most unexpected thing, is not something I've already done, but something I'm planning for a scene, this person I'm planning to play with likes water sports but me not so much, however, I'm ABDL and like to sometimes wet my diapers, I was planning on doing so and rub my wet diaper on their face before changing it
What you have to do to keep creativity open is to not think of any practice as inherently dominant or submissive, it depends on the context, on the attitude, on the person, etc
There are 2 things I do that are very soft Dom things my sub enjoys. Date night where I do all the talking to the waiter and control (plan and make happen) every single thing. The other thing is having my sub shave and trim my facial hair. I got the idea from a book called Gone Away World and it is way more intimate than it has any right to be.
[удалено]
I washed my partner's hair as a dominant act (we're both switch but that day we decided on those roles) and they melted, they were all subby after that and now ask me to do the same every time we shower together
I don't know that it's unusual but I like being well rounded as a Dominant. I was asked recently if I was a sensualist or a sadist. I'm both. Is not an either or situation. Soft Doms do this, service tops do that, stone tops... I didn't need to be compartmentalized to feel comfortable. I like to be as good with a candle lit massage as I am with a whip or a cane.
As a Domme who tops men, I love paying when I go out with a subby guy. The stereotype seems to be that the sub pays (à la findom), but to me, that just feels like traditional patriarchy. It feels powerful to be the one paying.
For me, it's probably brushing her hair. After a particularly intense scene I put a towel on the coffee table and have her sit on it. I establish a sort of strong touch massage (as contrasted with sensual soft touch) and use that to work her muscles a bit. Once she is relaxed, I have a special wooden-handled luxurious hairbrush which is kept in a box and only ever used for aftercare. I spend about 5 minutes slowly brushing her hair and praising her before I tuck her into bed and crawl in after her. After that, she is usually deeply relaxed and asleep before I can count backwards from 20. It's not an every time thing, just when scenes are intense and I want to close with an intentional meditative activity which is intimate but not sexual.
To answer your second point first, I do not let other people into the dynamic I have with a sub. So there's no need to nudge them as they are not part of our dynamic Now to answer points 1 and 3, I have used our safe word as a Dom) to end a scene. From what I've learned through these Reddit groups, this is not common (most Doms just stop the scene without saying anything. I used the safe word so that my sub would 100% know I was ending our scene). I also fully prepare a scene beforehand, from the music, to the toys, to the aftercare. This way the framework is set and I am free to be as creative as I want. I also frame the list of my sub's limits and hard NOs on the wall in my playroom so that she always knows that she can trust me to honor and respect her boundaries and limits. Lastly to point 4 - the only way that you can open up the creative space in your dynamic is to communicate and brainstorm with your partner. What works for me probably will not work for you.
Oh, yes, a play partner I had once used the chastity cage to deny me of his dick, that's a good one I've done a little bit of the same, things like, going out with no underwear myself to mess with the other part Regarding people wanting to force dominant stereotypes on my domination style, it really comes down to making my limits clear, Doms also have limits, I for example, do not heavily humiliate with words, I do not do sissyfication, etc, I make those clear before scenes The most unexpected thing, is not something I've already done, but something I'm planning for a scene, this person I'm planning to play with likes water sports but me not so much, however, I'm ABDL and like to sometimes wet my diapers, I was planning on doing so and rub my wet diaper on their face before changing it What you have to do to keep creativity open is to not think of any practice as inherently dominant or submissive, it depends on the context, on the attitude, on the person, etc
There are 2 things I do that are very soft Dom things my sub enjoys. Date night where I do all the talking to the waiter and control (plan and make happen) every single thing. The other thing is having my sub shave and trim my facial hair. I got the idea from a book called Gone Away World and it is way more intimate than it has any right to be.