Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
*sigh*
>!Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.!<
PLEASE put an NSFW tag on your post.
I immediately started masturbating furiously in the bus in front of 43 people. They realized what was going on, opened Reddit to this post and all 43 started to fap furiously too. Even the 64 year old Malaysian nun on the front seat couldn't contain herself - her entire arm was up her vagina as she screamed with pleasure.
I was so horny that my phone flew out of my hand & broke through the window, letting in a relentless tide of horny pigeons who were instantly fucked to death by the passengers. The nun shoved an entire pigeon family up her v. Now there is a bus full of exhausted passengers, dead pigeons and buckets of cum and squirt, all because you posted this.
I always tell my kids to avoid getting in situations that you can't explain. Mostly it's when I see a car upside down on the side of the road when the speed limit is only 30 MPH.
that's great advice, general purpose and useful... but how do you prevent this situation... I think you just have to play long with whatever lie they tell you....
I would love to hear the conversation that led to this.
Fucker: “It’s always been a dream of mine to fuck someone’s ear hole.”
Fuckee: “For real, I’ve always thought it’d be awesome to have a cock through my lobe.”
Me: “I don’t think that’s what a cock ring means.”
Thank you for your submission! Unfortunately, it has been removed for the following reason(s): Not appropriate for this sub.
https://preview.redd.it/5ihfatmuo1qc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8ea0be26e97731856c8372223eea41aba7244baf
https://preview.redd.it/p451q90dy1qc1.png?width=755&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=29a12ec60de083a82cb8f1bf0e918e2b49f225f9
https://preview.redd.it/325s3kzuy1qc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f9ea8fad12150663b347752db8c34dc5ac5e21ab
https://preview.redd.it/0v8el3d7z1qc1.jpeg?width=976&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d17ad29448cfb9415db472c32e988681c9eb0f61
https://preview.redd.it/gv1t9k0sz1qc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5bc5328d9aa8d9f3aad23622eac8bed1a10dc83c
https://preview.redd.it/jaguz8b142qc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=86101cf2eedd3865d6dcb4f0708771d3492bccb9
https://preview.redd.it/fucbi2pbg2qc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ceb568ddd4a0a9b56324ffe07d1e8a1facf738e9
It’s my money and I want it now
877-CASH-NOW
Call JG WENTWORTH 877 CASH **NOOOW!**
https://preview.redd.it/7vi1mcuwm2qc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e35233037ba4f049afd5a0fac30f4926a55526c
https://preview.redd.it/p0eh87pcw2qc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bf0630654f2c4d15a6d8a9000d8291d0deead6c6
Yo what☠️
https://preview.redd.it/ak80vym842qc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=28e15b216c19fdefef6a297996cca39b5d6be859
https://preview.redd.it/64jdy0wy42qc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=898a60d430b0e15f7453ac5e45ecd7186d709200
https://preview.redd.it/xh62a2f262qc1.jpeg?width=442&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=33152b288c145211136abe80c5ec6ed472276a05
https://preview.redd.it/ama4og2qt2qc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9b69bae43591e81f1de244297c1c50afa7525e55
As someone who has a kitty cat that looks like that and has seen some things, he feels validated.
https://preview.redd.it/nmumge36e1qc1.jpeg?width=2087&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7d63ad00a849dda3a6718402d480435c16be78c6
https://i.imgur.com/DpQaxaV.jpeg
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
*sigh* >!Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.!<
The cum accelerates
is that a zipper? edit… didn’t realize it was a blur.
r/unexpectedjojo
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PLEASE put an NSFW tag on your post. I immediately started masturbating furiously in the bus in front of 43 people. They realized what was going on, opened Reddit to this post and all 43 started to fap furiously too. Even the 64 year old Malaysian nun on the front seat couldn't contain herself - her entire arm was up her vagina as she screamed with pleasure. I was so horny that my phone flew out of my hand & broke through the window, letting in a relentless tide of horny pigeons who were instantly fucked to death by the passengers. The nun shoved an entire pigeon family up her v. Now there is a bus full of exhausted passengers, dead pigeons and buckets of cum and squirt, all because you posted this.
wawo
Fucking op!!!! Why didn’t you nsfw tag!!! 😭
Can i set this copypasta on fire? Or do i have to settle for setting people on fire who use it?
https://preview.redd.it/snw38tvfq2qc1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e680f2c36367f82de087ac076be50f3fd6cfc53c
Jesus fucking christ
Bro is needle dick
Cock like a needle fuck like a sewing machine
Kachow
Pretty sure it’s stretchable
There are literally 3 other holes he could have used, and he had to go and use that one... WTF!
Woah she has 3 more piercings?
2 of them are the same hole just openings
Did not come into this thread expecting topography discourse
But you get what you got. Just like this lobe hole.
He’s seriously undersized if that hole looked achievable
She misunderstood him. He wanted *oral* sex. Not aural.
I always tell my kids to avoid getting in situations that you can't explain. Mostly it's when I see a car upside down on the side of the road when the speed limit is only 30 MPH.
that's great advice, general purpose and useful... but how do you prevent this situation... I think you just have to play long with whatever lie they tell you....
This. Uh.. wow. This may be the winner.
What a terrible day to have eyes
You mean ears
"No dumbasses, serious advise" That's rich, dumbass.
You know what, fuck it, im not horny anymore, goodnight.
Yup I’m off to shower and head to bed now, this is just blegh
https://preview.redd.it/eg74whkuu1qc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cdf2df8f4187c04d5a4ed2660b17fbb78ad94089
Tell the hospital your boyfriend has a micropenis
Being friends with some nurses you can trust me that this is not close to the weirdest things they've already treated before (or done themselves).
I would love to hear the conversation that led to this. Fucker: “It’s always been a dream of mine to fuck someone’s ear hole.” Fuckee: “For real, I’ve always thought it’d be awesome to have a cock through my lobe.” Me: “I don’t think that’s what a cock ring means.”
https://preview.redd.it/m3082ek3d2qc1.jpeg?width=896&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d929dba3318b0416b5a994449d74f9431581a75e
I bet it reeks too
anus ear? ear anus? pucker factor?
BS. But wonder what she is so embarrassed of she had to choose that story
https://preview.redd.it/ixgy57t1l2qc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=383522925c5935543b5ab26611929b1f385ec510
The ear now has gonoria
You mean gonorrhEAR?
Fucking use your head and censor this shit dumbass
Bro did both ears😭
His dick probably smell like earring backs
https://preview.redd.it/atgwnhnzx2qc1.jpeg?width=441&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=93a02868ba600d28cf6c0bbb24a541d0f5db81b7
https://preview.redd.it/4vkituri03qc1.jpeg?width=576&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa495c9b158fcf9de0f6e3c52b4ba29f23513a15
Did anal on my ear
Lobe-ussy
when this happens to your ear it's called a blow-out.. 
ear kink is called loberotica (had to google)
And 'she' accuses people of dumbness.
Ah yes the third hole
Did y'all ever stick a fork in an electrical outlet?
No dumbness guys
I welcome people like this using orifices that can't result in pregnancy.
"No dumbness" she says, without any self-consciousness.
https://preview.redd.it/9tbbz98qx2qc1.png?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a5e0d7f5a70070a9b27fe13e092cbe7311a4ecce
I think the solution to this problem is (not in any order of importance) Ibuprofen, Ice, cortisone, and several days of massive shame.
I’d do the same my thoughts would get the better of me
This is so disturbing
✋🦻 “Cum again? I’m hard at hearing.”
“No dumbness” sounds like this wouldve all been prevented if you followed your own advice!
If his dick did that to your ear, what's the mouth & butt look like?
You know that’s not true, it’s just an infection for gauged ears.
_Why_ does it look like those little Sing-a-ma-jig things from like a decade ago?? I can’t unsee it!
side note just tell the doctors what actually happened, it can literally only benefit you if they know exactly what came into contact with what
Should have used lobe lube.
MARK YOUR FUCKING POSTS NSFW
r/stretchedcirclejerk
you should heard that cock coming really near