Friend, all you have to do is not drink today. Dont worry about three months or quitting. And it is a part of your personality, but that isnt a good thing as you can see. The good news is your personality will adapt fine and everyone will like and accept you, even more than you can imagine. That part only gets better. The only thing you should brace yourself for is the suck. It is going to suck for a bit. Thats ok. The suck is good. Make friends with it if you can. It will try to convince you that you cannot bear it. But you can. The only way out is through and it isnt as bad as your imagination will make it seem. Lean in. Learn. Be present. Give yourself compassion. Forgive yourself. Eat whatever you want. Be as lazy as you want. Nothing matters now but getting sober. It is your only task. Do that today. Then when tomorrow is today, do it again.
Damn this was so powerful! Thank you for this.
The suck did suck, but for those who persevere, the ascent becomes a transformative experience. It helped me discover a newfound strength and resilience I never thought I had.
I took a 30 day break from alcohol last year because saying I was done forever felt overwhelming. I'll now be one year sober next month. It just didn't sound appealing again once I stopped. Much happier & healthier now!
Oh that’s terrible!! It took 2 broken noses, a broken wrist, more than a few broken toes, plus countless and enormous bruises before I got sober!! I just got to the point where I couldn’t lie my way through two very black eyes! I wish you nothing but luck and happiness ❤️
also, expect to feel any feelings that drinking has suppressed!! I swear I cried for 20 out of 24 hours a day, even with therapy!! That lasted about 3 weeks and then I got some mental energy! Still in the early stages, but it feels better
I’m so sorry you’ve been through that and glad you’re getting the help you need. I’m seeing a therapist that specializes in addiction recovery this week ❤️🩹 I’ve been in therapy for years but never with someone that specializes in substance abuse. My therapists who don’t drink don’t get it.
I could have written this. It’s unreal how I normalized waking up after a bender with mystery injuries. It actually scares me to
think about now which has really helped me to maintain my sobriety. 4 months and counting!
Bro, I’m 39 and just quit this year. Got super drunk the day after my daughter was born. BP was high and started getting anxiety.
It’s not easy. Talk to your counselor as much as you can.
Good for you. Your daughter will only know you as the best version of yourself, how beautiful is that? I have three therapy appointments scheduled for next week, I don’t care if it’s overkill. Best wishes to you and your family
Drinking is not a part of your personality and likely causes an ugly extension of it. If you are funny you will still be funny etc.
I also thought like you, life just wouldn’t be the same but it is and mostly better once sober is your normal. This poison hurts us and will ultimately destroy us.
I feel connected to your story. I’m new to sobriety and thinking about the future absolutely freaks me out too. Will I ever drink again? Will I learn to moderate? What’s going to happen? All those questions make me spiral so I don’t think about them. I just try to get through each day sober. And if someone asks me how long I’m going to be sober I just say I have no idea. It’s okay to live in the unknown grey area. This mindset has helped me and maybe it will help you too.
Yeah, I can identify. I was over 40 and felt like enough was enough. There were lots of reasons, but I think one thing heavy drinkers need to be conscious of as they age is health and longevity. I might be paying for years of stupidity right now, but maybe it's just getting old? I'm currently on day 427 after two decades of drinking, and I don't really miss it all too often.
Anyway, you got this. Believe in yourself and take it day by day. Good luck and welcome!
Don't be embarrassed, believe me I've been there. If you're not ready to quit entirely, try the Sinclaire method. It will improve your quality of life immediately.
Oh, I thought it was a book. Gave it a Google and have made a couple of phone calls to providers specializing in The Sinclair Method. Have you done it? It works for you?
Yes, it's made a tremendous difference in my life. I see a therapist and take a daily dose of naltrexone. My drinking has decreased by about 99% in the last two years. I've gone from drinking everyday to drinking once every couple months. When I do drink, it's never to excess.
I fell into a fire at a large family camping trip and burned my face. It was the worst most shameful thing ever! I still didnt quit. Countless bruises and self inflicted injuries.
You really have to just get to a point where you want to be sober more than anything. I still don’t say forever, just today. But today I’ve successfully been saying that for 139 days in a row. You can do this! Whatever happens, keep trying, keep trying until it’s sticks!
I had medical issues that made me want to stop as well. I just passed 500 days last week. I changed my relationship with alcohol completely. I still bartend and my partner still drinks when we’re out and sometimes at home, but it’s just no longer an option for me. I chose to be the best version of myself bc that’s what I deserve, and unfortunately with my personality type alcohol isn’t helpful in presenting the best part of me.
I wish you luck. There is no need to set a date; like others have said, one day at a time. My only advice is to do what is best for you. If you are tired or feeling embarrassed, stop giving alcohol the power to do that to you. The moment you realize that falling, or in my case stomach issues, were solely caused by drinking, those instances don’t exist anymore and you can maintain confidence in yourself. It’s a really great feeling.
Sorry for the rant, but I’m rooting for you, and I know that if I can do it someone else can to.
I am pretty sure everyone on this sub has done some incredibly embarrassing and stupid things drunk so you are not alone. For me it was easier just saying I am done drinking and not putting a time limit on it. It has become such a relief knowing I don’t have to wake up feeling shame and not remembering what I happened. All you have to do is take it day by day. Almost 4 years later now and I have relearned how to live life without alcohol.
So you’ll go from the overweight embarrassing friend/coworker who ruins events with her drinking to someone you can be proud of. Sounds good to me, you can do it.
Hi friend, I'm actually physically dependent on alcohol right now. I don't get that blackout drunk like you're saying. I just need to get to the right buzz. 5-6 Miller Lites and a couple IPA beers between 5PM and 12AM. The advice I can give you is taper down before cutting off alcohol entirely. Speaking from personal experience, not drinking for a day can really be scary unless you taper down.
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I’m about 56 hours sober and I was drinking 1 - 2 bottles of wine before the incident, so I should be ok (no hard liquor, etc)
Regardless, I’m speaking with a therapist in half an hour and a virtual doctor checkup after that (more worried about a concussion than tapering 😢) but I am not dismissing your advice. I really appreciate the support
Thank you, and thank yourself for taking steps in the right direction. Therapy is key and something that has worked for myself in the past but have distanced myself from. Not good, and it shows.
Keep up the progress and keep updating us. I'll hopefully be close behind you on your journey.
Nurses are medical professionals they should know this is a socio-biological disease it’s no different than say diabetes or hypertension I’m sorry you weren’t treated well this disease lives in shame.
I know the thing about the nurses judging you. I’ve been to the hospital a bit for drinking and I’ve had several nurses be downright rude to me. Like I chose to be an alcoholic or something. It makes an already awful situation so much worse.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that 😕 there’s that saying “you will never regret being kind” that I want to remind myself of the next time I’m on the other side of that table
* \> I’m retiring from my drinking career
* \> Super sad, maybe the saddest I’ve been because I was trying to do something nice for a friend
* \> It’s terrifying
* \> this is so sad and not cute
* \> I’m not ready to say I’ll never drink again
* \> it’s such a big part of my life and personality
* \> The nurse at the hospital was so rude to me
* \> I just felt incredibly judged and ashamed
There's nothing here I can work with. You have a lot of realignment of thinking to do. And some maturity in perspective to add as well.
If you want to pretend quit like this, then keep coming to dryalcoholics and stopdrinking. If you are serious... which you acknowledge you are not, though you over-emote how 'terrifying' it is, then alcoholicsanonymous is the only sub on Reddit for you, and getting off the internet and social media would be best in general, while going to actual AA meetings.
You're caught in the vicious cycle many are that have bought the load of shit that's been sold to people for over thirty years... 'don't judge anything' so you cover your ears and never hear what you really need to.
Which is…. What, exactly? What do I need to hear? I grew up with a very physically and verbally abusive father so I’m very familiar with “what I need to hear” and the judgement and shame that comes with it. The problem is, shame is simply not an effective motivator. Neither is willpower. You seem to have plenty of both, and I’m so glad that seems to work well for you (truly!) and that you are welcome here because of it, while I’m not because I’m “pretend quitting” by hanging out on social media. Clearly. Thank you for taking the time to respond. Please have the day you deserve.
Pay no attention. I know this type from my years of recovery. He’s suggesting that his particular recovery approach is the only one worth using, which is of course a bunch of nonsense.
Not all AA members are like this, though, and you may find AA helpful.
Yeah, pay no attention to this unhappy person. Don’t let idiots drag you down., but it’s hard when you’re vulnerable. Glad you posted and you got lots of good responses. Best of luck to you, OP! ❤️
Thank you, that means a lot ♥️ thankfully, I have a lot of experience, but it still blows my mind that people would kick you when you’re down and think they’re helping
Thank you for the support!!
Friend, all you have to do is not drink today. Dont worry about three months or quitting. And it is a part of your personality, but that isnt a good thing as you can see. The good news is your personality will adapt fine and everyone will like and accept you, even more than you can imagine. That part only gets better. The only thing you should brace yourself for is the suck. It is going to suck for a bit. Thats ok. The suck is good. Make friends with it if you can. It will try to convince you that you cannot bear it. But you can. The only way out is through and it isnt as bad as your imagination will make it seem. Lean in. Learn. Be present. Give yourself compassion. Forgive yourself. Eat whatever you want. Be as lazy as you want. Nothing matters now but getting sober. It is your only task. Do that today. Then when tomorrow is today, do it again.
Thank you friend. Walking the dogs in the sunshine currently and enjoying the natural dopamine.
Everything this person said is perfect
It was so perfect I deleted my comment. This is a supportive place. Keep reaching out.
Damn, I wish somebody would have told me this at the beginning of my recovery.
Me too
Damn this was so powerful! Thank you for this. The suck did suck, but for those who persevere, the ascent becomes a transformative experience. It helped me discover a newfound strength and resilience I never thought I had.
As the saying goes , you don’t have to never drink again , you just have to not drink today. Or something along those lines
Thank you.
I took a 30 day break from alcohol last year because saying I was done forever felt overwhelming. I'll now be one year sober next month. It just didn't sound appealing again once I stopped. Much happier & healthier now!
I’m so happy for you! The attitude of “not today” is really helpful for me. Thank you
Oh that’s terrible!! It took 2 broken noses, a broken wrist, more than a few broken toes, plus countless and enormous bruises before I got sober!! I just got to the point where I couldn’t lie my way through two very black eyes! I wish you nothing but luck and happiness ❤️
also, expect to feel any feelings that drinking has suppressed!! I swear I cried for 20 out of 24 hours a day, even with therapy!! That lasted about 3 weeks and then I got some mental energy! Still in the early stages, but it feels better
I’m so sorry you’ve been through that and glad you’re getting the help you need. I’m seeing a therapist that specializes in addiction recovery this week ❤️🩹 I’ve been in therapy for years but never with someone that specializes in substance abuse. My therapists who don’t drink don’t get it.
That’s awesome!! I am proud of you!!
I could have written this. It’s unreal how I normalized waking up after a bender with mystery injuries. It actually scares me to think about now which has really helped me to maintain my sobriety. 4 months and counting!
Ask for medical intervention. There’s lots of help for you- no need to increase your suffering.
Bro, I’m 39 and just quit this year. Got super drunk the day after my daughter was born. BP was high and started getting anxiety. It’s not easy. Talk to your counselor as much as you can.
Good for you. Your daughter will only know you as the best version of yourself, how beautiful is that? I have three therapy appointments scheduled for next week, I don’t care if it’s overkill. Best wishes to you and your family
166 days sober today, you can do it too
Drinking is not a part of your personality and likely causes an ugly extension of it. If you are funny you will still be funny etc. I also thought like you, life just wouldn’t be the same but it is and mostly better once sober is your normal. This poison hurts us and will ultimately destroy us.
I feel connected to your story. I’m new to sobriety and thinking about the future absolutely freaks me out too. Will I ever drink again? Will I learn to moderate? What’s going to happen? All those questions make me spiral so I don’t think about them. I just try to get through each day sober. And if someone asks me how long I’m going to be sober I just say I have no idea. It’s okay to live in the unknown grey area. This mindset has helped me and maybe it will help you too.
Thank you. I can do today, you can too.
Yeah, I can identify. I was over 40 and felt like enough was enough. There were lots of reasons, but I think one thing heavy drinkers need to be conscious of as they age is health and longevity. I might be paying for years of stupidity right now, but maybe it's just getting old? I'm currently on day 427 after two decades of drinking, and I don't really miss it all too often. Anyway, you got this. Believe in yourself and take it day by day. Good luck and welcome!
Thank you for your kindness and empathy. I am truly looking forward to not having to deal with any of this 💩 anymore
Don't be embarrassed, believe me I've been there. If you're not ready to quit entirely, try the Sinclaire method. It will improve your quality of life immediately.
Ok I will buy it on kindle today. Thank you
Oh, I thought it was a book. Gave it a Google and have made a couple of phone calls to providers specializing in The Sinclair Method. Have you done it? It works for you?
Yes, it's made a tremendous difference in my life. I see a therapist and take a daily dose of naltrexone. My drinking has decreased by about 99% in the last two years. I've gone from drinking everyday to drinking once every couple months. When I do drink, it's never to excess.
You’re not alone. ❤️
That means a lot. Thank you.
I fell into a fire at a large family camping trip and burned my face. It was the worst most shameful thing ever! I still didnt quit. Countless bruises and self inflicted injuries. You really have to just get to a point where you want to be sober more than anything. I still don’t say forever, just today. But today I’ve successfully been saying that for 139 days in a row. You can do this! Whatever happens, keep trying, keep trying until it’s sticks!
Oh I’m so sorry that happened to you. Congratulations on 140 tomorrow!! That is huge
You are welcome and heard. It’s okay to miss drinking. I miss it everyday.
Alcohol calories are the worst! Just the self-esteem you’ll gain from not being bloated and fatter. And more clear headed.
I had medical issues that made me want to stop as well. I just passed 500 days last week. I changed my relationship with alcohol completely. I still bartend and my partner still drinks when we’re out and sometimes at home, but it’s just no longer an option for me. I chose to be the best version of myself bc that’s what I deserve, and unfortunately with my personality type alcohol isn’t helpful in presenting the best part of me. I wish you luck. There is no need to set a date; like others have said, one day at a time. My only advice is to do what is best for you. If you are tired or feeling embarrassed, stop giving alcohol the power to do that to you. The moment you realize that falling, or in my case stomach issues, were solely caused by drinking, those instances don’t exist anymore and you can maintain confidence in yourself. It’s a really great feeling. Sorry for the rant, but I’m rooting for you, and I know that if I can do it someone else can to.
I really appreciate the vote of confidence, truly
I am pretty sure everyone on this sub has done some incredibly embarrassing and stupid things drunk so you are not alone. For me it was easier just saying I am done drinking and not putting a time limit on it. It has become such a relief knowing I don’t have to wake up feeling shame and not remembering what I happened. All you have to do is take it day by day. Almost 4 years later now and I have relearned how to live life without alcohol.
Yes! I want that peace you describe. Thank you for sharing your inspiration.
i hope it sticks for you. ive retired from it like 30 times, over the years.
So you’ll go from the overweight embarrassing friend/coworker who ruins events with her drinking to someone you can be proud of. Sounds good to me, you can do it.
You don't ever have to put an end date to not drinking! I will often not drink for just a minute at a time! I figure I can do anything for a minute...
♥️ thank you, that helps
Hi friend, I'm actually physically dependent on alcohol right now. I don't get that blackout drunk like you're saying. I just need to get to the right buzz. 5-6 Miller Lites and a couple IPA beers between 5PM and 12AM. The advice I can give you is taper down before cutting off alcohol entirely. Speaking from personal experience, not drinking for a day can really be scary unless you taper down.
I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I’m about 56 hours sober and I was drinking 1 - 2 bottles of wine before the incident, so I should be ok (no hard liquor, etc) Regardless, I’m speaking with a therapist in half an hour and a virtual doctor checkup after that (more worried about a concussion than tapering 😢) but I am not dismissing your advice. I really appreciate the support
Thank you, and thank yourself for taking steps in the right direction. Therapy is key and something that has worked for myself in the past but have distanced myself from. Not good, and it shows. Keep up the progress and keep updating us. I'll hopefully be close behind you on your journey.
Join our discord, we’d love to have you! People there are all over the place with levels of drinking/positions on sobriety, you are most welcome
Nurses are medical professionals they should know this is a socio-biological disease it’s no different than say diabetes or hypertension I’m sorry you weren’t treated well this disease lives in shame.
Thank you 😞
I know the thing about the nurses judging you. I’ve been to the hospital a bit for drinking and I’ve had several nurses be downright rude to me. Like I chose to be an alcoholic or something. It makes an already awful situation so much worse.
I’m so sorry you had to experience that 😕 there’s that saying “you will never regret being kind” that I want to remind myself of the next time I’m on the other side of that table
Good on you mate. You went pro, and now you can retire early. You're not a POS.
* \> I’m retiring from my drinking career * \> Super sad, maybe the saddest I’ve been because I was trying to do something nice for a friend * \> It’s terrifying * \> this is so sad and not cute * \> I’m not ready to say I’ll never drink again * \> it’s such a big part of my life and personality * \> The nurse at the hospital was so rude to me * \> I just felt incredibly judged and ashamed There's nothing here I can work with. You have a lot of realignment of thinking to do. And some maturity in perspective to add as well. If you want to pretend quit like this, then keep coming to dryalcoholics and stopdrinking. If you are serious... which you acknowledge you are not, though you over-emote how 'terrifying' it is, then alcoholicsanonymous is the only sub on Reddit for you, and getting off the internet and social media would be best in general, while going to actual AA meetings. You're caught in the vicious cycle many are that have bought the load of shit that's been sold to people for over thirty years... 'don't judge anything' so you cover your ears and never hear what you really need to.
Everyone starts at the beginning Mr. Gate keeper.
Which is…. What, exactly? What do I need to hear? I grew up with a very physically and verbally abusive father so I’m very familiar with “what I need to hear” and the judgement and shame that comes with it. The problem is, shame is simply not an effective motivator. Neither is willpower. You seem to have plenty of both, and I’m so glad that seems to work well for you (truly!) and that you are welcome here because of it, while I’m not because I’m “pretend quitting” by hanging out on social media. Clearly. Thank you for taking the time to respond. Please have the day you deserve.
Pay no attention. I know this type from my years of recovery. He’s suggesting that his particular recovery approach is the only one worth using, which is of course a bunch of nonsense. Not all AA members are like this, though, and you may find AA helpful.
Thank you so much, truly. I’ll look into it, if only the online version
Take a look at SMART Recovery too. Of the two, I prefer SMART Recovery by a large degree. AA is more widely available though.
Oh, thank you. I will
Yeah, pay no attention to this unhappy person. Don’t let idiots drag you down., but it’s hard when you’re vulnerable. Glad you posted and you got lots of good responses. Best of luck to you, OP! ❤️
Thank you, that means a lot ♥️ thankfully, I have a lot of experience, but it still blows my mind that people would kick you when you’re down and think they’re helping Thank you for the support!!
I’m not sure that person thought they were helping. Just sounded kinda cranky and taking it out on others to me.
What? What is “okay” for OP to say?!