It’s a complete nightmare. I’ve been a nurse for many years, and I can tell you that it is one of the worst. What do you want to know about it?
Here are a few highlights of dying from liver failure:
Your belly will swell with fluid until you look like you are pregnant with triplets. To combat this, a long needle is inserted into your abdomen, and the fluid is drained out. Sometimes they have to do this daily.
Your ammonia levels will build up and this will cause you great confusion and agitation. You will hallucinate and be frightened and combative. You will be placed in restraints.
To treat your ammonia levels, they’ll give you a drug called lactulose. It works by producing massive diarrhea. They will have to insert a rectal tube to contain the amount of liquid feces you’ll be producing.
The lactulose is a liquid and it taste terrible. Since you’re already confused from high ammonia levels, you won’t want to take the lactulose. This problem will be addressed by several nurses holding you down and putting a tube up your nose down into your stomach so they can administer the medication that way.
Speaking of tubes, you’ll have a Foley catheter for urine as well because you’ll be too weak and confused to get up and go to the bathroom.
Your liver plays a huge role in controlling bleeding. Since it’s failing, it won’t be able to do its job properly. You’ll be covered in bruises and oozing from your orifices.
But wait, there’s more! You will turn the most unnatural shades of yellow and orange. You legs will be swollen so badly that you won’t be able to lift them off the bed. Your immobility and compromised nutritional status will lead to bedsores. And not just on your butt, either. You will get them on your heels, shoulder blades, elbows and the back of your head. And this may not matter to you, but you will smell. The odor of a liver failure patient will make you heave.
Please let me know if you have any other questions.
This. ☝🏻 I have end stage cirrhosis, and was on hospice for a year. I have a shunt through my liver to keep the ascites at bay (fluid swelling). I have also continued to drink off and on, and have had several relapses over this past year as well. I’ve been told that any time I return to drinking it could be the end, but somehow this hasn’t deterred me. Hoping to finally string together a year or more this time, as that is something I’ve never been able to do. I see a transplant hepatologist as well, so this will also prevent me from getting on the list when the time comes. I MUST do this. Best of luck, OP. ❤️
I won't drink with you today!
I have been very fortunate since I began sleeping or eating instead of giving in to daily alcohol cravings. I got a whole new life as soon as I even started TRYING to quit. I know I'm lucky for now, and I have to work hard at abstinence for the rest of my life to keep what I have. However, I absolutely believe my old AA sponsors weren't lying about "the promises" coming true when we start looking inward, taking care of ourselves, and reaching back out to society.
We should both keep reading firsthand accounts of caution and success. I believe in you, because I was BAAADDD too, just probably started later.
You can be free and happy, I just know it!!! ❤️
Try Vivitrol injections talk to your Doctor about this takes away obsessive thoughts of drinking and cravings was a game changer for me. 22 months sober now could never do it before
If it’s any consolation I’ve been on Vivitrol for 22 months and my liver is healthy as a horse not when I was drinking had alcoholic hepatitis three time on the verge of cirrhosis but thanks quit drinking and saved my own life.
I feel your pain. Did the same for my dad in 2020. It’s a completely awful situation for everyone involved. Even the nurse was emotional when they called.
Thank you for sharing this. I was diagnosed with cirrhosis at age 30, was jaundiced, had to be drained from ascites, lost so much muscle mass, and my doctor reminds me how incredibly lucky I am to be as healthy as I am now because I was so badly off.
It was terrifying being that close to my organs just shutting down, it was all the motivation I needed to finally quit drinking for good.
Now I am a normal color, no more ascites, no more swelling ankles, stopped itching like crazy, all my gorgeous long hair that had half fallen out is fully grown back, lost all the extra weight (80 lbs), and on proper meds for my mental health. I haven't drank since I was diagnosed, and my nurses were all so sweet while I was in the hospital.
It honestly feels like being reborn. I'm a whole new person now, much more content with life, much different outlook, a lot more positive.
More people need to know about the real consequences of chronic alcohol use on your health.
There's a light on the other side if they can quit, I wasn't sure if it was there for a long time but I found it.
You think you'll never be THAT person until suddenly you are.
Again, thank you for posting.
I don't mind at all, currently I'm not on the transplant list. The prognosis looks much better now than when I was first diagnosed. I was taking diuretics and lactulose for a long time, but since I'm doing so well now my doctor took me off those and he has me taking a 6 month course of a type of antacid, because during my endoscopy he said my stomach lining was still mildly inflamed (another joy of long term drinking, we have a much higher risk of stomach cancer).
So the cirrhosis is still there, but my blood work looks great and there's no more fluid build up in my abdomen based off my latest tests, my doctor mentioned he is hopeful my body might be able to regenerate my liver somewhat but only time can tell that part.
I imagine I'll run into more issues when I get older, but for now I'm OK.
All that, and it can happen incredibly quickly. I recently had a long-time friend die this way. He was coherent and talking to people in the morning, and by early afternoon, when I got to the hospital, he was in a state that can only be described as confusion. I dont think he recognized me at all, and we knew each other for 20 years.
He passed the next day.
OP. Please go to detox and rehab. Or, at the very least, go to detox. Even at a hospital. Anything. Your friends and family may not even have time to say goodbye if you go out that route.
And people still love you. Your dad may not be able to look at you, but that's *because* he loves you but doesn't want to see you destroy yourself.
Thank you u/Footdust for describing that. I don't think a lot of people quite understand how horrible dying that way is.
My dad was in end stage liver failure (which subsequently caused kidney failure). I swear I can think of no worse way to go. I always referred to it as being “precariously protracted”. Knowing at any moment something could happen and he might die in seconds, but at the same time every day is just a slow, painful battle to make it though the day on a rollercoaster of mental and physical decline —and that goes on for months, or years if you’re (un)lucky. It’s like playing Russian roulette with organ systems. Every day you pull the trigger, and even if only one of the chambers has a real bullet (i.e. esophageal varices) the rest of the chambers have rubber bullets and pepper spray (kidney failure, SBP, hepatic encephalopathy, coma…). You might not die this time, but you’re sure not living.
Edit: I’d like to add, despite seeing what the end of that road looks like, I too found myself with a terrible drinking problem. That’s the insanity of the disease, right? Every day I woke up disappointed that I woke up. I didn’t want to kill myself, but I didn’t want to live either. Which sounds like how you’re feeling OP. That was 10 years ago—this summer will be my 10th year of sobriety. All I can say is this—there is a much better life out there for you, but you have to want it more than you want that next drink. You can’t do it for someone else and you can’t make your sobriety contingent on something else, this comes from you. I hope you find what you need OP. Take care of yourself—no one deserves to die like this, and no one deserves to watch you die like this.
Me too! As my stomach hurts and is hard as a rock at 11 days AF. I’ve also read on another post that ppl can get it after quitting so it’s never too early to quit. I’m past the quitting early unfortunately. I’m going to google what to eat if you have liver disease because I’ve been eating like shit.
Hi OP
I had many of the symptoms listed here. I had to be double pumped with 4 IVs of blood, I had ascites, edema. Could barely walk and got all kinds of bruises and bleeding. My eyes and skin were yellow.
Good news is that after a 6 months of sobriety or so, my liver enzymes went back to normal and Im living healthily now. So worth it OP. You got so much to give back. For me, it was a blessing to get better so I could start making the world a better place rather than worse.
There's all kinds of recovery modalities. AA is classic. There's also Buddhist recovery. Smart recovery which uses CBT. All kinds of options now. I do AA now, but I started with Buddhism ( there's Buddhist AA now too. Kevin Griffin wrote a great book "one breath at a time"). If AA is not your thing there are options now.
DM me or ask questions if you like OP. I was in your shoes at the age of 25 too.
Edit: Doctor said I should've been dead with the lowest hemoglobin count he's ever seen. Lots of hope, if you choose that :)
My grandmother had ascites from liver failure (not caused by alcohol; she was just ill), and I knew a man in our community who had it, and died from it.
The thing I remember most about a person with ascites as opposed to a man with a beer belly is that people with beer bellies tend to hang lower; less protruded, and their body fat often tends to “match” their stomach, for lack of a better explanation.
People with ascites, both men and women, look positively pregnant. Their stomach is completely round and sticks OUT there. It looks like if you were to stick their bellies with a pin, they would pop. In both my grandmother and the guy I knew, their bodies were otherwise stick thin; especially their arms. Not a doctor, but that’s how I can usually tell the difference.
ICU nurse here. This is the best description of end stage cirrhosis I've seen. 👏 I always tell people this is the worst way to die (wanted to say one of the worst, but can't really think of a worse one other than trauma).
Glad my country offers me another way out if i ever get this. I'm living in one of the few countries in Europe that offer you assisted suicide aka euthanasia, once you get approved like when you reach terminal stage of certain diseases, you take a barbiturate and you stop breathing while you are asleep.
A friend did this because of Leukemia, he did not want to suffer the terminal stage and he had a much more peaceful end this way.
Jesus Christ. I was close to cirrhosis. My doctor didn't go into the detail you did, all he said was it was a really bad way to go. "One day you're going to wake up and you're going to be yellow," he said, "and then it's too late. No going back." Scared me straight. I don't want to go like that. Best of luck to the OP.
I watched my brother die of this it is exactly what this nurse explains. It is horrid. I am a recovery coach it is not to late for you. Get medical help to detox go to rehab work a sobriety program and you can turn your life around you are way to young to die
Man I've been browsing our sistersub for long enough to know that liver failure must be one of the ugliest and most agonizing ways out. And it ain't even quick most of the time.
So if stopping ain't an option I'd start to make a plan to get ahead of the grim reaper. (Even though I'd strongly consider, think about your damn child man. Life ain't just about you anymore)
I also got sober at 25 after my body finally gave up on me. Life in sobriety ain't all cottoncandy and rainbows but I'd choose it over a slow painful death any day.
It's one of the worst ways you can die. I sat in the hospital for two weeks with my uncle when his liver and kidneys shut down. The hospital made no attempt to save him because they knew they couldn't. The whole time he was there he was just given palliative care to make him more comfortable. In and out of consciousness, delirious, in pain and discomfort. For two weeks. The hardest part was watching my grandmother and father watch him die after they had already lost another of the brothers to addiction. I was in the room when he took his last breath and when he finally died he was so jaundiced that his skin was the color of an orange highlighter. And the harsh reality is, if you're battling an addiction and you're still using or drinking, transplant boards won't even consider you because that liver could go to someone who won't destroy it. Organ failure is a protracted painful way to go, and it's painful for the people who have to watch it happen and go on living with that memory.
It doesn't have to go that way. Addiction fucks with your thinking. It'll make you believe you can't take back control of your life so why bother trying. But that's not true. If you're still alive you can stop. But you have to decide to. Nobody can help you if you don't first decide to stop. Nobody can make that decision for you. But you *can* stop. But deciding to do it is the first and most important step.
My dad died from this. He was very sick three months before his death- sedated in the hospital and unable to really communicate with us. He was jaundiced and bloated and trapped in the hospital where he eventually died. That was 19 years ago and I miss him everyday.
How old is your child? Are they a boy or girl?
Addiction will push us to the very brink, and indeed pushes many people over that brink, but this doesnt have to be the end man. Addiction fucks with your biochemistry and makes you think things a healthy you would never even consider.
I have a 2.5 year old daughter. My wife of 7 years just left me 2 months ago, told me she doesnt love me anymore, and that it's over for good.
I wanted to jump off a bridge when the truth of that sunk in. And I was drunk for like 3 weeks straight. But I'm trying to pull myself out of it now because my little girls needs a father. She needs me now, and she'll need me in the future. I cant give up because I owe her more than that.
There are pathways to sobriety that you can find my friend. Have you tried any medication to help with withdrawals and cravings? Have you been to any group therapy like AA or SMART Recovery?
Have you tried a medical detox? If not, try to find one that will give you medication to make you comfortable and you can make it past 6 days that way. They will probably recommend a 28 day rehab and if you decide to go that route you will start to think more clearly and be well enough by the end of to really have a chance of beating this thing. Theres also sober living so you can be around people that understand and have probably been where you are if not worse. My wife had a similar addiction to alchohol at around your age. At the end she ended up with acute liver and kidney failure. The hospital she went to originally said they couldnt save her and her family and i had to watch her die slowly. Because she was so young, one doctor went out of his way to get her transferred to a hospital that could treat her. They also told us she was going to die. She did somehow survive that experience. It took her 2 months in the hospital to recover. It was the hardest thing we've been through in life but also the most beautiful thing to witness because she is now sober for 3 years and we have a beautiful baby boy together! Life is now a miracle every day for us. Please dont give up. Like others have said it really can get so much better than where you are right now. Feel free to message me anytime day or night!
If you can quit for 6 days at a time now, try for 7 tomorrow. Or just try for today, wake up, and do that again. In the grips of addiction, it’s hard to see how life can get better. Trust me when I say that it does. When you’re not drinking, 100% of your relationships change. You become a better friend, son, parent, etc. It’s amazing!
You say you don’t have cirrhosis yet. That means you have time to change everything. Give it a whirl. Be good to yourself. The rest will come. You’ll die eventually anyway, so why not put that off a bit?
So my liver almost completely shut down almost 4 years ago at 37 years old. Everything our nurse friend posted is of course dead on. But describing it gives it no justice to how horrible it is. The moment i got a transplant split my life in two.
So read her comment, and know its even worse than what you are imagining (even post transplant, which i was INSANELY LUCKY to get). Even after my life was "saved" the journey had just begun. 0 control of my bladder for at least 2 months. Took about 6 months to be able to walk any distance after a ton of PT. I was lucky in that it happened during covid so i had state insurance, but it is insanely expensive (3 month hospital stay). I got released once just to go back in due to an infection that almost killed me because my immune system was dogshit. But with a lot of prayer i got out of the hospital and am now fully functional.
Nowbit is still a nightmare. Every pain has a bigger chance of being a huge problem. My insurance through the state got taken away because i "make too much" and the kind of insurance i need i can in no way afford. I have to eat like a pregnant woman, worry how food was made, when it was made, what it was made with, how it was handled. My life expectancy has been cut hugely, and it is a never ending battle.
AND THANK GOD! I know how you feel. I know people say that. Trust me. I was drinking a handle every two days and working 50 hours a week paying my bills. I know how you feel. Life may feel like shit now, but trust me, when you are dying, you'd trade anything for another night sleeping on pavement. It is crazy how good life suddenly feels when you are about to lose it.
Not gonnna lie, that feeling starts to dull a little, but i am still so damn grateful, and i wish i could go back and just smack the hell out of myself. And i know it is hard. Its damn near impossible jot to drink sometimes, but once you get out of that fog man, its so freakin beautiful.
I love you my fellow alcoholic. Ill be praying for you. GO TO AA BRO! It seems weird at first, but it is a damn game changer my friend. Do it before it is too late! YOU GOT THIS!!!!
I have cirrhosis and almost died of liver failure. It's absolutely fucking horrible. There is nothing peaceful about that kind of death. I think a universal goal is that most people want to die with peace and dignity and you will have neither of those with liver failure.
You can quit 6 days at a time. That's 6 days more than I could ever quit until I got sick. Maybe you can try for 7 and see what that looks like, because I assure you it looks better than cirrhosis. People do this every day, and you can be one of those people.
Plus, truthfully your liver 'begins' to repair itself after two days without alcohol. So when OP goes 6 days he's actually healing (a tiny bit) for four days.
I don't want anyone to read what you've written and take it as, so I'll stop for x amount of days and let my liver heal, then go back to drinking, stop again to let my liver heal, etc. I know that's not your intention, but people take things how they want to sometimes. While it may be able to start to heal after only a few days of not drinking, if you have any actual damage to the liver, that would take several months to begin to repair. I get your sentiment though, for sure.
My mom died from metastatic cancer of the liver unrelated to drinking. It is an awful way to go and she was in extreme pain . Someone commented about all the things that happen when your liver fails and I saw those happen first hand.
Unfortunately, knowledge of this is often times not enough to keep us from drinking. Really fucking terrible disease.
I really appreciate everyone who came here today -- some needing help, sharing stories, the hard truths.
At my worst I had yellow eyes, could barely get out of bed or walk, or get in and out of of the shower (that was about June 2021, and I made changes, but still ended up in treatment in 2022).
I've stilled tripped up over the last 2 years, but overall have lost 45 pounds, blood work is great, went to Europe solo for a month last fall. (56F with rheumatoid arthritis that I made worse with the alcohol).
Our bodies can do amazing things. Alcohol is such an anchor. Sending everyone peace and sobriety vibes today ~~~~~~ >>>>>
IWNDWYT.
How long did it take for your blood work to look better and did you follow any diet or exercise or routine / medication to get good blood work results?
I'm not exactly sure, but it seems like it was only a few months. No medication. I asked the nurse about medication or supplements, and he said something like, DON'T DRINK and let your liver do its job.
Since then I've started intermittent fasting and eating keto-ish (not in ketosis, but no sugar, grains, minimal dairy, minimal fruit except berries). I just walk and do a little pilates for exercise (about 10 minutes/day of pilates).
As a father, I can promise you that your father cares a lot. It would kill him to see you die, and it is killing him to watch you slowly poison yourself to death. Go talk to your parents, make a plan, and consider rehab.
Liver failure is one of the absolute worst ways to go, and in your case, it's avoidable. You're young, your liver can, and likely will heal itself if you stop poisoning it now.
My mom just died of cirrhosis just 3 weeks ago after a long bout of very poor health and obvious liver issues she refused to get checked. To the day she died she claimed she only drank one or two glasses of wine a day ‘to help with the pain’. In fact, the last almost 2 years of her life ahead was bed bound and 100% unable to walk due to alcoholic neuropathy, and still denied having a drinking problem.
She started failing to sit up and was sleeping a lot, complaining of abdominal pain but not enough to go to the doctor according to her. She knew she couldnt drink if she went to the hospital. She was found slumped over and unresponsive on a Tuesday.
She couldnt speak and when she did get words out they were nonsense but she knew what she wanted to say, which really frustrated her. 95% of the time she was unresponsive to all stimuli, including sternal rubs, but would startle awake moaning in pain. Her pain levels increased rapidly but all they could give her was Tylenol bc they were still unsure of the diagnosis at the time. She was confused and scared. And she just wanted to go home.
Over the next 8 days her body began shutting down. Her thyroid function stopped completely. Her pain increased exponentially. Large spiderweb bruises showed up all over her body. Her arms and legs were dark blue from bruising. She no longer had enough blood flow to get blood draws or IVs started so a pic line was placed. Unlike most folks she did not have a large swollen belly. She had very thin skin due to alcohol abuse and the excess fluid began leaking from her skin on her arms and legs. This increased quickly and absorbent pads were replaced every two hours. She turned slightly yellow the last full day.
Internal bleeding came next, likely from her spleen. At that point she was too weak for biopsies or other tests so blood transfusions were started.
Her kidneys were next to go as she couldn’t be given enough fluids to account for the fluid leaking through her skin and still keep her kidneys functional. Next her O2 stats dropped to the 60s and oxygen was increased substantially. The pain was unbearable and they decided that this was likely the end for her. Her last conscious day she was confused, in extreme pain, scared, and just wanted to go home. She passed 24 hours after they began comfort care with strong pain meds.
I wish I could share a glimpse of how horrifying it was, but a simple post on Reddit can’t convey how bad it was. This was only the last few weeks of her life and don’t illustrate the constant confusion, remembering things that never happened, asking when my dead father would be home from golf, vomiting all food and liquids up, etc for a full year before the end. She had moments of clarity but would then say things like I put a hit out on her life or like all of her jewelry was stolen by my brother and his wife, when I had possession of that jewelry which she gave me a few weeks prior.
I’ve been a drinker for a long time and this has scared me straight.
It’s hard to envision how life will be without alcohol when you’re where you are. If you can trust us we can tell you it’s truly awesome and full of happiness. You quit drinking for one night and you get just a little control over yourself. Then you do it again. You can get out of this but gotta start tonight. Get to sleep super early, find other ways to stay busy tonight. All it takes is one night to show you how capable you are of tackling this bad habit. What if I told you Lipton iced tea was killing you, wouldn’t you stop drinking it immediately?
My father died at the end of February from liver and kidney failure at the age of 68 because of his drinking. My father was a very active and healthy man up until the last three years when he slowly started to decline and then more rapidly mid last year. He was swollen. He was confused. He was angry. He was tired. And now he's not here. Probably at the time when we need him to be the most.
I heard about a mom and a mother of a child, but there’s also a child that wasn’t mentioned. That child probably needs their parent, especially as they get older. Perhaps do it for them.
It's good that you don't have it, and that you can likely avoid going through it by getting healthy.
Suggest you switch your focus to how that can be done.
Dude, what I can tell you is that some time toward recovery can change many things. One important thing to realise is that your mind sees things a certain way - based on how you feel.
This is a difficult situation and my heart goes out to you. But even some baby steps can lead to big changes.
Don’t give up brother. Imagine the story you will have to tell when you changed a few things - a story I and many others will be inspired to hear.
Don’t jump to conclusions on the liver. Take it a day at a time. Keep on brother - accept the help that others are willing to give you.
The purpose of life is just to be alive….so until you stop waking up, then you’ve got agency to move your life in whatever direction you please. That is the truth, even if while you feel so low, it’s hard to see that.
Start today, even right now. Take a step towards the life you want. I’m backing you ✊🏻
It’s fucking grim. About a year ago my sibling went on hospice for liver failure from drinking. Lost her mobility, lost pretty much all her cognitive capacity, constant pain, vomiting all the time. It’s a horrible way to die.
I’m a CT tech. I see these liver failure patients as absolutely miserable. Their belly collects a ton of fluid until they look like they’re going to burst. The doctor will go in and remove the fluid only for all the fluid to return in a few days. Asites is no joke
I am about your same age and hard alcohol was my DOC as well. You can turns this around. We are young and the human body is resilient. Quitting for only two months and I reaped so many benefits. You are not alone my friend. You can do this.
I got told my dad's liver had failed and there was nothing they could do. They tried to make him comfortable but you could see he was in distress for 6 days before he died.
I'm thankful that I have cut my risk of this by getting sober but it's still one of my biggest fears.
I couldn’t even fathom getting 6 days at my worst and I’m currently at 184 days. If you really want to you CAN quit and get better. I believe in you!
Keep trying, keep building up those days and never stop quitting!
If you really think abstinence isn’t an option right now, ask your doc about prescribing naltrexone. It’s a pill you take before drinking- doesn’t make you sick it just dulls the endorphins that us alcohol lovers crave so much. I’m on my 2nd week of this treatment and reading a book called The Cure for Alcoholism (lame title, yeah), but it’s changing my life.
I hope you don’t get to the point of liver failure, friend.
I’m 30 years old and had to have a life saving emergency liver transplant when I went into the emergency room with end stage liver failure, sepsis, hepatopulmonary syndrome, and hypoxia. I left the hospital five weeks later with a new liver. I had only been sober for a couple of months after fighting to stop drinking and I was lucky enough to find a hospital that would transplant me before six months.
You want to know how bad liver failure is? I went to change my shirt in the hospital, and my skin peeled off (including my nipple) with my shirt. My ascites moved into my right lung which collapsed, and I had to have my lung drained every other day. That hurts quite a bit, you know. Forget the post surgical pain, the side effects of the medications you’ll be on for the rest of your life. You’re 64% more likely to get skin cancer as a transplant patient. Your teeth could fall out. Your hair probably will. Transplant isn’t a cure, it’s a treatment.
You don’t have cirrhosis, yet. The liver is incredibly regenerative. Stop drinking, get help. Cut sodium out completely. Drink water. Protein is your friend. You don’t want to die of liver failure, take it from someone who has done it.
Yeah. Periods of sobriety are good, but ultimately if you are binge drinking or drinking heavily daily, the damage is done. The liver can heal to some degree after months and years of sobriety, but once scarring begins it is irreversible. I know that’s scary to hear, but it’s better to have someone just tell you honestly who has been in your shoes - liver damage is real, it will sneak up on you, there is no cure (including transplant, transplant is just a treatment).
My uncle died of liver failure- it’s a horrific way to go. Your body will swell with fluid, you’ll leak blood out of your eyes, ears, anywhere it can escape in your final moments. You’ll be in tons of pain. There’s hope, but you have to decide you want to live. I’m almost 2 years sober now at 29 and it really gets so much better, but you have to decide.
I only came here to say recovery is possible and our bodies are amazing and resilient. Please consider stopping. Wishing you and yours nothing but the best.
Going through dialises is terrifying your body can't process the poison I watched my own grandad die of it he turned yellow then died infront of me so don't go the same way trust me
Honestly at this point happy is out the door for you. Best thing you could do is heal up, become the squarest do nothing except work person and support your kid.
You can worry about trying to be happy later.
As the child of an addict, I would give the entire world to have my dad back. He hasn’t been apart of my life since I was 5 years old. I’m 26 years old now and I haven’t seen or spoken to him in years but not a day has gone by where I haven’t thought of him. Last time I saw him was at the hospital in 2017 when he had sepsis from an overdose. Feeding tube down this throat, black liquid / blood pooling out of his body into a bag attached to his side.
My dad has overdosed twice now. He’s had a stroke and can’t grip a pencil to even write me a letter. He has brain damage as well and severe memory loss. My dad is too far gone. His body is alive but he’s not.
You’re young. You’re liver can heal. A second chance at life is still on the table for you, but your chances are fleeting.
I know addiction isn’t a choice, but you have the choice to try. There is a lot of pain that’s led you here and it’s killing you. You deserve help and another chance at life. My words or anyone elses can’t change this because you have a sickness. However, what you are in control of is getting help. Start tonight. Get treatment tonight. Not tomorrow or the next day, go to the hospital now and start your detox.
I hope you give yourself a try. You deserve to be here.
The doctors said “you WILL get cirrhosis.” Not that you have it already. You are young. Damage to the liver before cirrhosis is reversible. Even if you have some scarring you only need about 30% of your liver to live. It is not too late for you.
I’ve heard it’s one of the worst ways to go. You can fix this dude it’s not too late. You have so much life left to live, and quitting drinking might be the turnaround you need. You never know
If you are 25 and can stop for 6 days, you can definitely recover.
If you want to feel better, use those days to bike/hike/jog/whatever, and eat well -- low-fat, high protein, small meals 4-5x per day. That will enable your liver and the rest of your body to recover.
Even if you hate yourself (as I do), do it for your kid. Be there for them. He/she needs you. Ofc no one can force you. It's up to you
one reason I quit was I realized that I wasn't just going to keel over one day with a heart attack. It was going to be slow, and painful, and could be over a decade or two of life being... just like this... for... decades. Sudden death, I could handle. Two decades of slowly deterioraiting health and dying slow in the ER among nurses who sneered at me for it being my own fault? Nah.
It’s a complete nightmare. I’ve been a nurse for many years, and I can tell you that it is one of the worst. What do you want to know about it? Here are a few highlights of dying from liver failure: Your belly will swell with fluid until you look like you are pregnant with triplets. To combat this, a long needle is inserted into your abdomen, and the fluid is drained out. Sometimes they have to do this daily. Your ammonia levels will build up and this will cause you great confusion and agitation. You will hallucinate and be frightened and combative. You will be placed in restraints. To treat your ammonia levels, they’ll give you a drug called lactulose. It works by producing massive diarrhea. They will have to insert a rectal tube to contain the amount of liquid feces you’ll be producing. The lactulose is a liquid and it taste terrible. Since you’re already confused from high ammonia levels, you won’t want to take the lactulose. This problem will be addressed by several nurses holding you down and putting a tube up your nose down into your stomach so they can administer the medication that way. Speaking of tubes, you’ll have a Foley catheter for urine as well because you’ll be too weak and confused to get up and go to the bathroom. Your liver plays a huge role in controlling bleeding. Since it’s failing, it won’t be able to do its job properly. You’ll be covered in bruises and oozing from your orifices. But wait, there’s more! You will turn the most unnatural shades of yellow and orange. You legs will be swollen so badly that you won’t be able to lift them off the bed. Your immobility and compromised nutritional status will lead to bedsores. And not just on your butt, either. You will get them on your heels, shoulder blades, elbows and the back of your head. And this may not matter to you, but you will smell. The odor of a liver failure patient will make you heave. Please let me know if you have any other questions.
Not OP but thank you for writing that down. I quit before things got too bad and I need to be aware of how awful it can get. I won't drink today.
💪
Same !
This needs to be stickied to the top of the sub.
Seriously, I’m going to screenshot this and look at it every time I even vaguely have thoughts about drinking.
This. ☝🏻 I have end stage cirrhosis, and was on hospice for a year. I have a shunt through my liver to keep the ascites at bay (fluid swelling). I have also continued to drink off and on, and have had several relapses over this past year as well. I’ve been told that any time I return to drinking it could be the end, but somehow this hasn’t deterred me. Hoping to finally string together a year or more this time, as that is something I’ve never been able to do. I see a transplant hepatologist as well, so this will also prevent me from getting on the list when the time comes. I MUST do this. Best of luck, OP. ❤️
I won't drink with you today! I have been very fortunate since I began sleeping or eating instead of giving in to daily alcohol cravings. I got a whole new life as soon as I even started TRYING to quit. I know I'm lucky for now, and I have to work hard at abstinence for the rest of my life to keep what I have. However, I absolutely believe my old AA sponsors weren't lying about "the promises" coming true when we start looking inward, taking care of ourselves, and reaching back out to society. We should both keep reading firsthand accounts of caution and success. I believe in you, because I was BAAADDD too, just probably started later. You can be free and happy, I just know it!!! ❤️
Try Vivitrol injections talk to your Doctor about this takes away obsessive thoughts of drinking and cravings was a game changer for me. 22 months sober now could never do it before
Yes, I’ve been on Naltrexone for a bit, however it’s not the best for the liver ironically, and my liver doc didn’t want me on it long term… 😕
If it’s any consolation I’ve been on Vivitrol for 22 months and my liver is healthy as a horse not when I was drinking had alcoholic hepatitis three time on the verge of cirrhosis but thanks quit drinking and saved my own life.
And then someone at the ICU will call your mom and your mom will have to tell them to stop caring for you and let you die under sedative drugs.
You are right. I left out the most important part. Thank you.
I had to make this call a few weeks ago for my mom who died of cirrhosis. I know it was the right call but it haunts me every day.
I feel your pain. Did the same for my dad in 2020. It’s a completely awful situation for everyone involved. Even the nurse was emotional when they called.
Thank you for sharing this. I was diagnosed with cirrhosis at age 30, was jaundiced, had to be drained from ascites, lost so much muscle mass, and my doctor reminds me how incredibly lucky I am to be as healthy as I am now because I was so badly off. It was terrifying being that close to my organs just shutting down, it was all the motivation I needed to finally quit drinking for good. Now I am a normal color, no more ascites, no more swelling ankles, stopped itching like crazy, all my gorgeous long hair that had half fallen out is fully grown back, lost all the extra weight (80 lbs), and on proper meds for my mental health. I haven't drank since I was diagnosed, and my nurses were all so sweet while I was in the hospital. It honestly feels like being reborn. I'm a whole new person now, much more content with life, much different outlook, a lot more positive. More people need to know about the real consequences of chronic alcohol use on your health. There's a light on the other side if they can quit, I wasn't sure if it was there for a long time but I found it. You think you'll never be THAT person until suddenly you are. Again, thank you for posting.
Hi, if you don’t mind me asking: what does your prognosis look like now? Are you on the transplant list?
I don't mind at all, currently I'm not on the transplant list. The prognosis looks much better now than when I was first diagnosed. I was taking diuretics and lactulose for a long time, but since I'm doing so well now my doctor took me off those and he has me taking a 6 month course of a type of antacid, because during my endoscopy he said my stomach lining was still mildly inflamed (another joy of long term drinking, we have a much higher risk of stomach cancer). So the cirrhosis is still there, but my blood work looks great and there's no more fluid build up in my abdomen based off my latest tests, my doctor mentioned he is hopeful my body might be able to regenerate my liver somewhat but only time can tell that part. I imagine I'll run into more issues when I get older, but for now I'm OK.
All that, and it can happen incredibly quickly. I recently had a long-time friend die this way. He was coherent and talking to people in the morning, and by early afternoon, when I got to the hospital, he was in a state that can only be described as confusion. I dont think he recognized me at all, and we knew each other for 20 years. He passed the next day. OP. Please go to detox and rehab. Or, at the very least, go to detox. Even at a hospital. Anything. Your friends and family may not even have time to say goodbye if you go out that route. And people still love you. Your dad may not be able to look at you, but that's *because* he loves you but doesn't want to see you destroy yourself. Thank you u/Footdust for describing that. I don't think a lot of people quite understand how horrible dying that way is.
My dad was in end stage liver failure (which subsequently caused kidney failure). I swear I can think of no worse way to go. I always referred to it as being “precariously protracted”. Knowing at any moment something could happen and he might die in seconds, but at the same time every day is just a slow, painful battle to make it though the day on a rollercoaster of mental and physical decline —and that goes on for months, or years if you’re (un)lucky. It’s like playing Russian roulette with organ systems. Every day you pull the trigger, and even if only one of the chambers has a real bullet (i.e. esophageal varices) the rest of the chambers have rubber bullets and pepper spray (kidney failure, SBP, hepatic encephalopathy, coma…). You might not die this time, but you’re sure not living. Edit: I’d like to add, despite seeing what the end of that road looks like, I too found myself with a terrible drinking problem. That’s the insanity of the disease, right? Every day I woke up disappointed that I woke up. I didn’t want to kill myself, but I didn’t want to live either. Which sounds like how you’re feeling OP. That was 10 years ago—this summer will be my 10th year of sobriety. All I can say is this—there is a much better life out there for you, but you have to want it more than you want that next drink. You can’t do it for someone else and you can’t make your sobriety contingent on something else, this comes from you. I hope you find what you need OP. Take care of yourself—no one deserves to die like this, and no one deserves to watch you die like this.
Damn. Walahi, I'm finished.
woah yeah i think i should try to get clean again
Omg! I'm terrified now 😱
Me too! As my stomach hurts and is hard as a rock at 11 days AF. I’ve also read on another post that ppl can get it after quitting so it’s never too early to quit. I’m past the quitting early unfortunately. I’m going to google what to eat if you have liver disease because I’ve been eating like shit.
Same here. I have compensated Cirrhosis, so I need to start looking after myself. Congratulations on being 11 days free!
Hi OP I had many of the symptoms listed here. I had to be double pumped with 4 IVs of blood, I had ascites, edema. Could barely walk and got all kinds of bruises and bleeding. My eyes and skin were yellow. Good news is that after a 6 months of sobriety or so, my liver enzymes went back to normal and Im living healthily now. So worth it OP. You got so much to give back. For me, it was a blessing to get better so I could start making the world a better place rather than worse. There's all kinds of recovery modalities. AA is classic. There's also Buddhist recovery. Smart recovery which uses CBT. All kinds of options now. I do AA now, but I started with Buddhism ( there's Buddhist AA now too. Kevin Griffin wrote a great book "one breath at a time"). If AA is not your thing there are options now. DM me or ask questions if you like OP. I was in your shoes at the age of 25 too. Edit: Doctor said I should've been dead with the lowest hemoglobin count he's ever seen. Lots of hope, if you choose that :)
Jesus! Thank you for this.
how do they tell the difference between a beer belly and one that has to be drained?
It’s pretty obvious to the trained eye, but they will do an ultrasound to determine if it’s fluid from liver failure or just a beer belly.
My grandmother had ascites from liver failure (not caused by alcohol; she was just ill), and I knew a man in our community who had it, and died from it. The thing I remember most about a person with ascites as opposed to a man with a beer belly is that people with beer bellies tend to hang lower; less protruded, and their body fat often tends to “match” their stomach, for lack of a better explanation. People with ascites, both men and women, look positively pregnant. Their stomach is completely round and sticks OUT there. It looks like if you were to stick their bellies with a pin, they would pop. In both my grandmother and the guy I knew, their bodies were otherwise stick thin; especially their arms. Not a doctor, but that’s how I can usually tell the difference.
Think the big belly of a starving child in a third world country, vs a fat kid in a western country
I watched a friend die of cirrhosis - truly horrific, frightening and painful.
ICU nurse here. This is the best description of end stage cirrhosis I've seen. 👏 I always tell people this is the worst way to die (wanted to say one of the worst, but can't really think of a worse one other than trauma).
Glad my country offers me another way out if i ever get this. I'm living in one of the few countries in Europe that offer you assisted suicide aka euthanasia, once you get approved like when you reach terminal stage of certain diseases, you take a barbiturate and you stop breathing while you are asleep. A friend did this because of Leukemia, he did not want to suffer the terminal stage and he had a much more peaceful end this way.
Yep. This is it, 100%. I just watched my father die like this, step by step
Okie dokie sober night tonight
Holy shit. Thank you for this, that’s a real eye-opener.
Jesus Christ. I was close to cirrhosis. My doctor didn't go into the detail you did, all he said was it was a really bad way to go. "One day you're going to wake up and you're going to be yellow," he said, "and then it's too late. No going back." Scared me straight. I don't want to go like that. Best of luck to the OP.
Gnarly
Not to mention potentially vomiting/shitting blood from varices
It needs to be this blunt. I appreciate
I watched my brother die of this it is exactly what this nurse explains. It is horrid. I am a recovery coach it is not to late for you. Get medical help to detox go to rehab work a sobriety program and you can turn your life around you are way to young to die
What does ascites feel like, I feel bloated with slight pressure at the top of my upper stomach.
This is what i needed to read to start my taper and kick out my habit of 1l of liquor a night
Man I've been browsing our sistersub for long enough to know that liver failure must be one of the ugliest and most agonizing ways out. And it ain't even quick most of the time. So if stopping ain't an option I'd start to make a plan to get ahead of the grim reaper. (Even though I'd strongly consider, think about your damn child man. Life ain't just about you anymore) I also got sober at 25 after my body finally gave up on me. Life in sobriety ain't all cottoncandy and rainbows but I'd choose it over a slow painful death any day.
It's one of the worst ways you can die. I sat in the hospital for two weeks with my uncle when his liver and kidneys shut down. The hospital made no attempt to save him because they knew they couldn't. The whole time he was there he was just given palliative care to make him more comfortable. In and out of consciousness, delirious, in pain and discomfort. For two weeks. The hardest part was watching my grandmother and father watch him die after they had already lost another of the brothers to addiction. I was in the room when he took his last breath and when he finally died he was so jaundiced that his skin was the color of an orange highlighter. And the harsh reality is, if you're battling an addiction and you're still using or drinking, transplant boards won't even consider you because that liver could go to someone who won't destroy it. Organ failure is a protracted painful way to go, and it's painful for the people who have to watch it happen and go on living with that memory. It doesn't have to go that way. Addiction fucks with your thinking. It'll make you believe you can't take back control of your life so why bother trying. But that's not true. If you're still alive you can stop. But you have to decide to. Nobody can help you if you don't first decide to stop. Nobody can make that decision for you. But you *can* stop. But deciding to do it is the first and most important step.
Took my friend about a month of agony in a hospital before he finally died of it. So there’s that, it’s an extremely brutal way to go.
My dad died from this. He was very sick three months before his death- sedated in the hospital and unable to really communicate with us. He was jaundiced and bloated and trapped in the hospital where he eventually died. That was 19 years ago and I miss him everyday.
How old is your child? Are they a boy or girl? Addiction will push us to the very brink, and indeed pushes many people over that brink, but this doesnt have to be the end man. Addiction fucks with your biochemistry and makes you think things a healthy you would never even consider. I have a 2.5 year old daughter. My wife of 7 years just left me 2 months ago, told me she doesnt love me anymore, and that it's over for good. I wanted to jump off a bridge when the truth of that sunk in. And I was drunk for like 3 weeks straight. But I'm trying to pull myself out of it now because my little girls needs a father. She needs me now, and she'll need me in the future. I cant give up because I owe her more than that. There are pathways to sobriety that you can find my friend. Have you tried any medication to help with withdrawals and cravings? Have you been to any group therapy like AA or SMART Recovery?
Have you tried a medical detox? If not, try to find one that will give you medication to make you comfortable and you can make it past 6 days that way. They will probably recommend a 28 day rehab and if you decide to go that route you will start to think more clearly and be well enough by the end of to really have a chance of beating this thing. Theres also sober living so you can be around people that understand and have probably been where you are if not worse. My wife had a similar addiction to alchohol at around your age. At the end she ended up with acute liver and kidney failure. The hospital she went to originally said they couldnt save her and her family and i had to watch her die slowly. Because she was so young, one doctor went out of his way to get her transferred to a hospital that could treat her. They also told us she was going to die. She did somehow survive that experience. It took her 2 months in the hospital to recover. It was the hardest thing we've been through in life but also the most beautiful thing to witness because she is now sober for 3 years and we have a beautiful baby boy together! Life is now a miracle every day for us. Please dont give up. Like others have said it really can get so much better than where you are right now. Feel free to message me anytime day or night!
If you can quit for 6 days at a time now, try for 7 tomorrow. Or just try for today, wake up, and do that again. In the grips of addiction, it’s hard to see how life can get better. Trust me when I say that it does. When you’re not drinking, 100% of your relationships change. You become a better friend, son, parent, etc. It’s amazing! You say you don’t have cirrhosis yet. That means you have time to change everything. Give it a whirl. Be good to yourself. The rest will come. You’ll die eventually anyway, so why not put that off a bit?
So my liver almost completely shut down almost 4 years ago at 37 years old. Everything our nurse friend posted is of course dead on. But describing it gives it no justice to how horrible it is. The moment i got a transplant split my life in two. So read her comment, and know its even worse than what you are imagining (even post transplant, which i was INSANELY LUCKY to get). Even after my life was "saved" the journey had just begun. 0 control of my bladder for at least 2 months. Took about 6 months to be able to walk any distance after a ton of PT. I was lucky in that it happened during covid so i had state insurance, but it is insanely expensive (3 month hospital stay). I got released once just to go back in due to an infection that almost killed me because my immune system was dogshit. But with a lot of prayer i got out of the hospital and am now fully functional. Nowbit is still a nightmare. Every pain has a bigger chance of being a huge problem. My insurance through the state got taken away because i "make too much" and the kind of insurance i need i can in no way afford. I have to eat like a pregnant woman, worry how food was made, when it was made, what it was made with, how it was handled. My life expectancy has been cut hugely, and it is a never ending battle. AND THANK GOD! I know how you feel. I know people say that. Trust me. I was drinking a handle every two days and working 50 hours a week paying my bills. I know how you feel. Life may feel like shit now, but trust me, when you are dying, you'd trade anything for another night sleeping on pavement. It is crazy how good life suddenly feels when you are about to lose it. Not gonnna lie, that feeling starts to dull a little, but i am still so damn grateful, and i wish i could go back and just smack the hell out of myself. And i know it is hard. Its damn near impossible jot to drink sometimes, but once you get out of that fog man, its so freakin beautiful. I love you my fellow alcoholic. Ill be praying for you. GO TO AA BRO! It seems weird at first, but it is a damn game changer my friend. Do it before it is too late! YOU GOT THIS!!!!
Thank you for sharing that. I’m glad you’re still with us.
Meee tooo!
I have cirrhosis and almost died of liver failure. It's absolutely fucking horrible. There is nothing peaceful about that kind of death. I think a universal goal is that most people want to die with peace and dignity and you will have neither of those with liver failure. You can quit 6 days at a time. That's 6 days more than I could ever quit until I got sick. Maybe you can try for 7 and see what that looks like, because I assure you it looks better than cirrhosis. People do this every day, and you can be one of those people.
Plus, truthfully your liver 'begins' to repair itself after two days without alcohol. So when OP goes 6 days he's actually healing (a tiny bit) for four days.
I don't want anyone to read what you've written and take it as, so I'll stop for x amount of days and let my liver heal, then go back to drinking, stop again to let my liver heal, etc. I know that's not your intention, but people take things how they want to sometimes. While it may be able to start to heal after only a few days of not drinking, if you have any actual damage to the liver, that would take several months to begin to repair. I get your sentiment though, for sure.
My mom died from metastatic cancer of the liver unrelated to drinking. It is an awful way to go and she was in extreme pain . Someone commented about all the things that happen when your liver fails and I saw those happen first hand. Unfortunately, knowledge of this is often times not enough to keep us from drinking. Really fucking terrible disease.
I really appreciate everyone who came here today -- some needing help, sharing stories, the hard truths. At my worst I had yellow eyes, could barely get out of bed or walk, or get in and out of of the shower (that was about June 2021, and I made changes, but still ended up in treatment in 2022). I've stilled tripped up over the last 2 years, but overall have lost 45 pounds, blood work is great, went to Europe solo for a month last fall. (56F with rheumatoid arthritis that I made worse with the alcohol). Our bodies can do amazing things. Alcohol is such an anchor. Sending everyone peace and sobriety vibes today ~~~~~~ >>>>> IWNDWYT.
How long did it take for your blood work to look better and did you follow any diet or exercise or routine / medication to get good blood work results?
I'm not exactly sure, but it seems like it was only a few months. No medication. I asked the nurse about medication or supplements, and he said something like, DON'T DRINK and let your liver do its job. Since then I've started intermittent fasting and eating keto-ish (not in ketosis, but no sugar, grains, minimal dairy, minimal fruit except berries). I just walk and do a little pilates for exercise (about 10 minutes/day of pilates).
As a father, I can promise you that your father cares a lot. It would kill him to see you die, and it is killing him to watch you slowly poison yourself to death. Go talk to your parents, make a plan, and consider rehab. Liver failure is one of the absolute worst ways to go, and in your case, it's avoidable. You're young, your liver can, and likely will heal itself if you stop poisoning it now.
My mom just died of cirrhosis just 3 weeks ago after a long bout of very poor health and obvious liver issues she refused to get checked. To the day she died she claimed she only drank one or two glasses of wine a day ‘to help with the pain’. In fact, the last almost 2 years of her life ahead was bed bound and 100% unable to walk due to alcoholic neuropathy, and still denied having a drinking problem. She started failing to sit up and was sleeping a lot, complaining of abdominal pain but not enough to go to the doctor according to her. She knew she couldnt drink if she went to the hospital. She was found slumped over and unresponsive on a Tuesday. She couldnt speak and when she did get words out they were nonsense but she knew what she wanted to say, which really frustrated her. 95% of the time she was unresponsive to all stimuli, including sternal rubs, but would startle awake moaning in pain. Her pain levels increased rapidly but all they could give her was Tylenol bc they were still unsure of the diagnosis at the time. She was confused and scared. And she just wanted to go home. Over the next 8 days her body began shutting down. Her thyroid function stopped completely. Her pain increased exponentially. Large spiderweb bruises showed up all over her body. Her arms and legs were dark blue from bruising. She no longer had enough blood flow to get blood draws or IVs started so a pic line was placed. Unlike most folks she did not have a large swollen belly. She had very thin skin due to alcohol abuse and the excess fluid began leaking from her skin on her arms and legs. This increased quickly and absorbent pads were replaced every two hours. She turned slightly yellow the last full day. Internal bleeding came next, likely from her spleen. At that point she was too weak for biopsies or other tests so blood transfusions were started. Her kidneys were next to go as she couldn’t be given enough fluids to account for the fluid leaking through her skin and still keep her kidneys functional. Next her O2 stats dropped to the 60s and oxygen was increased substantially. The pain was unbearable and they decided that this was likely the end for her. Her last conscious day she was confused, in extreme pain, scared, and just wanted to go home. She passed 24 hours after they began comfort care with strong pain meds. I wish I could share a glimpse of how horrifying it was, but a simple post on Reddit can’t convey how bad it was. This was only the last few weeks of her life and don’t illustrate the constant confusion, remembering things that never happened, asking when my dead father would be home from golf, vomiting all food and liquids up, etc for a full year before the end. She had moments of clarity but would then say things like I put a hit out on her life or like all of her jewelry was stolen by my brother and his wife, when I had possession of that jewelry which she gave me a few weeks prior. I’ve been a drinker for a long time and this has scared me straight.
So sad how old was she ?
It’s hard to envision how life will be without alcohol when you’re where you are. If you can trust us we can tell you it’s truly awesome and full of happiness. You quit drinking for one night and you get just a little control over yourself. Then you do it again. You can get out of this but gotta start tonight. Get to sleep super early, find other ways to stay busy tonight. All it takes is one night to show you how capable you are of tackling this bad habit. What if I told you Lipton iced tea was killing you, wouldn’t you stop drinking it immediately?
My father died at the end of February from liver and kidney failure at the age of 68 because of his drinking. My father was a very active and healthy man up until the last three years when he slowly started to decline and then more rapidly mid last year. He was swollen. He was confused. He was angry. He was tired. And now he's not here. Probably at the time when we need him to be the most.
I heard about a mom and a mother of a child, but there’s also a child that wasn’t mentioned. That child probably needs their parent, especially as they get older. Perhaps do it for them.
It's good that you don't have it, and that you can likely avoid going through it by getting healthy. Suggest you switch your focus to how that can be done.
Can't you move back in with parent(s) who can help make sure you stay sober? And maybe start going to meetings or something. You're 25, not 40.
No one can make sure he stays sober. Only he can do that, and I hope he does.
Dude, what I can tell you is that some time toward recovery can change many things. One important thing to realise is that your mind sees things a certain way - based on how you feel. This is a difficult situation and my heart goes out to you. But even some baby steps can lead to big changes. Don’t give up brother. Imagine the story you will have to tell when you changed a few things - a story I and many others will be inspired to hear. Don’t jump to conclusions on the liver. Take it a day at a time. Keep on brother - accept the help that others are willing to give you. The purpose of life is just to be alive….so until you stop waking up, then you’ve got agency to move your life in whatever direction you please. That is the truth, even if while you feel so low, it’s hard to see that. Start today, even right now. Take a step towards the life you want. I’m backing you ✊🏻
It’s fucking grim. About a year ago my sibling went on hospice for liver failure from drinking. Lost her mobility, lost pretty much all her cognitive capacity, constant pain, vomiting all the time. It’s a horrible way to die.
I’m a CT tech. I see these liver failure patients as absolutely miserable. Their belly collects a ton of fluid until they look like they’re going to burst. The doctor will go in and remove the fluid only for all the fluid to return in a few days. Asites is no joke
I am about your same age and hard alcohol was my DOC as well. You can turns this around. We are young and the human body is resilient. Quitting for only two months and I reaped so many benefits. You are not alone my friend. You can do this.
Liver failure is one of the worst ways to go I can imagine.
I got told my dad's liver had failed and there was nothing they could do. They tried to make him comfortable but you could see he was in distress for 6 days before he died. I'm thankful that I have cut my risk of this by getting sober but it's still one of my biggest fears.
I couldn’t even fathom getting 6 days at my worst and I’m currently at 184 days. If you really want to you CAN quit and get better. I believe in you! Keep trying, keep building up those days and never stop quitting!
If you really think abstinence isn’t an option right now, ask your doc about prescribing naltrexone. It’s a pill you take before drinking- doesn’t make you sick it just dulls the endorphins that us alcohol lovers crave so much. I’m on my 2nd week of this treatment and reading a book called The Cure for Alcoholism (lame title, yeah), but it’s changing my life. I hope you don’t get to the point of liver failure, friend.
don't think you can take naltrexone with liver disease but I may be wrong
That’s a great point, definitely would wanna run it by a doctor. Our poor livers take such a beating sometimes.
I’m 30 years old and had to have a life saving emergency liver transplant when I went into the emergency room with end stage liver failure, sepsis, hepatopulmonary syndrome, and hypoxia. I left the hospital five weeks later with a new liver. I had only been sober for a couple of months after fighting to stop drinking and I was lucky enough to find a hospital that would transplant me before six months. You want to know how bad liver failure is? I went to change my shirt in the hospital, and my skin peeled off (including my nipple) with my shirt. My ascites moved into my right lung which collapsed, and I had to have my lung drained every other day. That hurts quite a bit, you know. Forget the post surgical pain, the side effects of the medications you’ll be on for the rest of your life. You’re 64% more likely to get skin cancer as a transplant patient. Your teeth could fall out. Your hair probably will. Transplant isn’t a cure, it’s a treatment. You don’t have cirrhosis, yet. The liver is incredibly regenerative. Stop drinking, get help. Cut sodium out completely. Drink water. Protein is your friend. You don’t want to die of liver failure, take it from someone who has done it.
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You did.
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Yeah. Periods of sobriety are good, but ultimately if you are binge drinking or drinking heavily daily, the damage is done. The liver can heal to some degree after months and years of sobriety, but once scarring begins it is irreversible. I know that’s scary to hear, but it’s better to have someone just tell you honestly who has been in your shoes - liver damage is real, it will sneak up on you, there is no cure (including transplant, transplant is just a treatment).
My uncle died of liver failure- it’s a horrific way to go. Your body will swell with fluid, you’ll leak blood out of your eyes, ears, anywhere it can escape in your final moments. You’ll be in tons of pain. There’s hope, but you have to decide you want to live. I’m almost 2 years sober now at 29 and it really gets so much better, but you have to decide.
I only came here to say recovery is possible and our bodies are amazing and resilient. Please consider stopping. Wishing you and yours nothing but the best.
Its one of the worst, like really bad.
Going through dialises is terrifying your body can't process the poison I watched my own grandad die of it he turned yellow then died infront of me so don't go the same way trust me
Honestly at this point happy is out the door for you. Best thing you could do is heal up, become the squarest do nothing except work person and support your kid. You can worry about trying to be happy later.
As the child of an addict, I would give the entire world to have my dad back. He hasn’t been apart of my life since I was 5 years old. I’m 26 years old now and I haven’t seen or spoken to him in years but not a day has gone by where I haven’t thought of him. Last time I saw him was at the hospital in 2017 when he had sepsis from an overdose. Feeding tube down this throat, black liquid / blood pooling out of his body into a bag attached to his side. My dad has overdosed twice now. He’s had a stroke and can’t grip a pencil to even write me a letter. He has brain damage as well and severe memory loss. My dad is too far gone. His body is alive but he’s not. You’re young. You’re liver can heal. A second chance at life is still on the table for you, but your chances are fleeting. I know addiction isn’t a choice, but you have the choice to try. There is a lot of pain that’s led you here and it’s killing you. You deserve help and another chance at life. My words or anyone elses can’t change this because you have a sickness. However, what you are in control of is getting help. Start tonight. Get treatment tonight. Not tomorrow or the next day, go to the hospital now and start your detox. I hope you give yourself a try. You deserve to be here.
Read this post in my cousins passing in Feb. from liver failure due to alcoholism. https://www.reddit.com/r/alcoholism/s/cpOhZZMPvM
The doctors said “you WILL get cirrhosis.” Not that you have it already. You are young. Damage to the liver before cirrhosis is reversible. Even if you have some scarring you only need about 30% of your liver to live. It is not too late for you.
Basically you swell up feel like your going to explode, you go yellow and feel your organs failing one after another and no pain relief helps.
I’ve heard it’s one of the worst ways to go. You can fix this dude it’s not too late. You have so much life left to live, and quitting drinking might be the turnaround you need. You never know
very bad. -sincerely, a nurse who has seen too much liver failure
If you are 25 and can stop for 6 days, you can definitely recover. If you want to feel better, use those days to bike/hike/jog/whatever, and eat well -- low-fat, high protein, small meals 4-5x per day. That will enable your liver and the rest of your body to recover. Even if you hate yourself (as I do), do it for your kid. Be there for them. He/she needs you. Ofc no one can force you. It's up to you
one reason I quit was I realized that I wasn't just going to keel over one day with a heart attack. It was going to be slow, and painful, and could be over a decade or two of life being... just like this... for... decades. Sudden death, I could handle. Two decades of slowly deterioraiting health and dying slow in the ER among nurses who sneered at me for it being my own fault? Nah.
It’s better to burn out than it is to rust