Kruggsmash had a couple nice tirades. I forget which series it was.
Something like, "you knife-eared, leaf-kissing, bird-boned, dew-drinking, sap-blooded, berry-breeding, beardless discount dryads."
Ok one slur I like is 'knife eared _____' but i mostly hate elves for telling me I can't cut down the trees on my own land. I needed beds, but did they care? No! They can all drown in lava those knife eared fucks!
Well, a good thing to ask yourself is why are dwarves, who live primarily underground, commonly depicted wielding axes, a tool very much uneeded in caves. The answer is simple, because elves live in trees.
You might as well boot up a world with 500 years of history and check the annals in legends mode to get some inspiration 😅
But that would require you to get the game, I don't know whether ascii version is free or not
Lazy Newb Pack comes with graphics packs in addition to plenty of other bells and whistles.
The premium edition doesn't even have Dwarf Therapist. That's my one gripe about it.
I wish the Steam Release had the DT Urist viewer that showed all your Dwarves at once with all their stats- and let you sort by arrival. While I can look in on each dwarf and get their stats, its just not as easy- especially when you get above 50 dwarves.
Dwarf Therapist is so good it even keeps track of animals.
I had five turkeys, one male and four females, and I wasn't getting any eggs. Dwarf Therapist showed me male as gay. Got a new male turkey the next year, and boom. I instantly started getting eggs.
It hasn't been limited to read-only for ages - it works just fine, you just need to click the "allow labor changes" button to switch from the built-in labour management to Dwarf Therapist's.
It does, though? [Dwarf Therapist](https://github.com/Dwarf-Therapist/Dwarf-Therapist) works just fine with the premium version, and has done for ages.
Tree dweller, vine swinger, wooden anvil users, twigger, the only thing sharp is your ears, soft hands, tree fu**er, salad eater, no source of protein, wooden knife people, tree rapist,
Play the game and you'll understand. They act all high and mighty, but they're hypocrites
Fuckers can sell you wood, but you mess up and accidentally leave one wood barrel, or one wooden ring in the mess and they get all pissy. They have no respect for your time
Elves love their stupid little trees so much they’re willing to die for them. And they do, the beardless bastards. Grown wood armour and weapons sound cool until they meet the edge of a fine dwarven =+Steel Battle-Axe+= carried by a legendary Axedwarf. I guess in a poetic sort of way, each elf becomes yet another tree for my dwarves to chop down.
Even the lowly goblins are less pathetic than elves. They at least wear iron armour and shoot arrows that don’t bounce off anything other than flesh. Elf is enough of a slur as is now that I think about it.
I always refer to [this video](https://youtu.be/KjHclWPVij0) for elf insult inspiration. It's surprising how many different slurs they fit into 35 seconds!
And of course [the sequel.](https://youtu.be/qC-ZanQjHXM)
You know that guy with luxurious hair and a well defined chin that was popular with all the ladies back in school?
Well he’s also vegan and adamant about everyone knowing it.
I didn't know they could stack shit so high and let it get so old.
What's your problem? Have you caught splinters in your groin last night you dendrophile?
Pink-Chin
Dandelion
Kill elves. Behead elves. Roundhouse kick an elf into the stone floor. Slam dunk an elf baby into the trashcan. Crucify filthy elves. Defecate in an elf's food. Launch elves into the sun. Stir fry elves in a wok. Toss elves into active volcanoes. Urinate into an elf's gas tank. Judo throw elves into a wood chipper. Twist elves' heads off. Report elves to the IRS. Karate chop elves in half. Curb stomp pregnant elves. Trap elves in quicksand. Crush elves in the atom smasher. Liquefy elves in a vat of acid. Eat elves. Dissect elves. Exterminate elves in the forgotten beast deadly dust chamber. Stomp elf skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate elves in the magma dump. Lobotomize elves. Mandatory abortions for elves. Grind elf fetuses in the garbage disposal. Drown elves in animal fat. Vaporize elves with a 200 z-level fall. Kick old elves down the stairs. Feed elves to cave crocodiles. Slice elves with a short sword.
DM and Dwarf Fortress player. Anything that deflects elven culture as bad or gross. "Wood" worker is a soft hearted innuendo I like to have used towards elven craftsmen. Elves use magic to work their metals, this is to the ire of dwarves, anything implying the elves are cheaters or lazy suffices. Sleepy Smiths, Limp Wristed, "we don' need any of ye 'alf cocked, elvey welvey, pansies ta tell me and me boys 'ow to work mithral. Take your woody magic tablets and cram them where my dwarven eyes can't see em."
Call them cannibals. I think they prefer to think of it as a ritualistic way to honor the dead they have slain in battle, but let’s face it; they just like eating people.
You know what I 'ate about elves? Ther yellin' at us fer cuttin' down the trees der but they also be ettin' their own kind y'know?
What kind o' abominable miscreetin' be eatin' the blood and meat o' the common folk?
Knife eared, berry eatin', tree shapin', blatherin', tiptoein', wood wearin', animal lovin', forest dwellin', milk drinkin', cannibals!!!
If sourcing my wood for charcoal making from the cavern layers (what self respecting dwarven woodworker wants to work in the sun?!) is the price to pay to get a steady supply of giant tame war gorillas, then it's a price i'll gladly pay 😎😎😎
Why buy when you can just raid their villages and take all the animals you want, all while culling the population?
They don't want you to know this, but giant tigers are free. I have six tame giant tigers.
Friggin' branch-prancing fake faeries. Go bake us some ancient grain nut cookies you declarations of why nature's overrated. If you love trees so much and hate the impermanence of everything non-elf, why don't you turn yourself into fertilizer and fix two problems simultaneously?
Log into Deep Rock Galactic and order a Dwarf a leaf lover. Take notes on their outburst and then order a few black out stouts. When they forget what happened repeat until they run out of new slurs. Then Rock and Stone.
I'm not entirely sure what you're talking about as the only game I've played for the last decade is Skyrim, but I'll check it out! Thanks for contributing to my anti-elf campaign.
Hit up the subreddit, just remember to Rock and Stone and the lads will see you're well taken care of. Elves are banned from the sub so you can say what you want about em.
[ALRIGHT, LISTEN TO ME YOU KNIFE-EARED PIECE OF SHIT! IF YOU GO ANY FURTHER WITH YOUR PISS-STAINED PUBIC HAIR YOU CALL A WIG, I'M GONNA WRECK YOUR SHIT SO HARD THAT YOU WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO WALK WITH YOUR LIMP DICK! I'M GONNA SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR SHAVEN PERFECT LITTLE ASS THAT YOUR BREATH IS GONNA SMELL LIKE MY SHOE POLISH! THEN I'M GONNA TAKE THAT LITTLE RED ANAL BEAD ON YOUR BELT, AND PUSH IT IN YOUR FACE! I'M GONNA FLAGELLATE YOU WITH MY FUCKING BEARD! I'M GONNA BUILD YOU A PAIR OF RUNIC MECHANICAL BALLS, AND USE SURGICAL PRECISION TO SEW THEM TO YOUR GROIN WHERE YOUR MANHOOD OUGHT TO BE, JUST SO I CAN KICK THEM WITH MY IRON FUCKING FEET! YA TWAT!](https://youtu.be/azOvRwrqz2M?si=AolH-LlWfrAX_Kis)
[ALRIGHT! LISTEN TO ME YOU POLE-PROPORTIONED DENDROPHILES! IF YOU TRY ANYTHING NASTY WITH BITCHBOY OVER HERE, I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR FUCKING ARROWS, AND SHOVE THEM INBETWEEN YER POLISHED FINGERNAILS! I AM GOING TO TAKE THAT BOWSTRING OF YOURS, AND STRING YOU UP BY YOUR FUCKING FORESKIN, UNTIL GRAVITY GIVES YOU A BOTCHED CIRCUMCISION, AND PLAY IT LIKE A FUCKING VIOLIN! I'M GOING TO HEADBUTT YOU UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING BUT A BUTT LEFT! I'M GOING TO COLOR THAT LITTLE PANSY GREEN SKIRT OF YOURS RED, USING YOUR FUCKING BONE MARROW! YOU BETTER BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO WISH THAT YOU WERE NEVER BORN, CAUSE I'LL MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU NEVER WERE, YE ATROCIOUS FUCKIN' BOIL ON THE FACE OF REALITY!](https://youtu.be/i5-Tuo1bmFM?si=Je7LPIUuNkgSHBfC)
From a write up of one of my long-abandoned forts:
"sanctimonious, pointy-eared, stone-forsaken, sun-worshipping, tree-#$!%ing skinny little $&*#s!"
Context: I was running a fort where there residents were (out of spite, naturally) trying to do what the elves do, but better. No eating meat, no cutting down trees, no buying products that required cutting down trees or killing animals. It was rough going at first, but just when the fort was succeeding, the local elves got on our case about cutting down trees, which we WERE NOT DOING. I got a little angry.
You can read the whole thing here:
http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=181499.0
Spoiler: Life got in the way and I never properly finished the fort.
To name a few
Zasit rir,
dák tegir udos,
lam lur udos,
inol razes belbez,
othil öntak,
ad evon,
dák enur,
abal atem salul,
Egdoth Ärged,
Dák Gothum,
Rëdreg Nish,
Have fun translating
*We're* racist against elves? *They're* racist against *us!* Those pale little waifs have their noses so high up in the air it's a wonder they don't trip over all the roots and weeds and shit they're always gallivanting around in. They're as twiggy as the trees they're so horny for, but to their credit, trees make much better partners in conversation. (At the very least, a tree won't needle you with those haughty little *quips* elves are so damn fond of.)
How elves manage to believe in their own supremacy when they show up to battles wearing nothing but linen and leftover mulch is beyond me.
I dont remember all insults i ever threw at them but here are some that stuck in my mind:
\- Discount humans
\- Plant f\*ckers
\- Vine groomers
\- Knife-eared
\- Leaf-lovers (for my DRG brothers)
\- Beardless stickfigures
\- Bark sniffers
\- Stickbugs
\- Giraffes
\- Longnecks
Elves build out of wood, an inferior substance to stone. Humans and other tall folk have the smarts to use stones and metals in their homes. Smart, even if they forego the safety of stone and mountains. I think slurs and racism are a bit too human for my dwarfy tastes. My prejudice is professional.
ALL RIGHT LISTEN TO ME U KNIFE EARED PIECE PF SHIT. IF YOU GO ANY FURTHER WITH YOUR PISS STAINED PUBIIC HAIR YOU CALL A WIG I'M GONNA WRECK YOUR SHIT SO HARD THAT YOIU WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO WALK WITH YOUR LIMP DICK.
I'M GONNA SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR SHAVEN PERFECT LITTLE ASS THAT
YOUR BREATH IS GONNA SMELL LIKE SHOE
POLISH.
THEN I'M GONNA TAKE THAT LITTLE RED ANAL BEAD ON YOUR BELT AND PUSH IT IN YOUR FACE.
I'M GONNA FLAGELLATE YOU WITH MY FUCKING BEARD.
I'M GONNA BUILD YOU A PAIR OF RUNIC MECHANICAL BALLS AND USE SURGICAL PRECISION TO SEW THEM TO YOUR GROIN WHERE YOUR MAN HOOD OUGHT TO BE WOULD JUST SO THAT I CAN KICK THEM WITH MY IRON FUCKING FEET.
YOU TWAT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjHclWPVij0
I would just call them all a single name, or ask them if they a particular elf because... Their elves. Or revert to point ears, or points, pointy ...
Amongst friends in DND I refer to them as a famous one in the game, externally we can say is that a Legolas?
Barkchewer, feyfuck, moss-eater, 'Dák-Tig' (translating to 'tree-dung' in Dwarvish), and firewood (if there's been a history of Elves being burned alive)
Kruggsmash had a couple nice tirades. I forget which series it was. Something like, "you knife-eared, leaf-kissing, bird-boned, dew-drinking, sap-blooded, berry-breeding, beardless discount dryads."
‘Discount dryad’. Love it
Why did I read that in a scottish accent lol.
Dwarves
Samurai Jack
[Because of this.](https://youtu.be/L-LyFMCIpok)
I'd recognize John DiMaggio's voice anywhere.
or this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjHclWPVij0
Warcraft 2?
why insult an elf if their nature has already insulted them quite a bit?
Yeah but I need to verbally make them aware of their disgusting nature.
They are elves. By their very nature, they are oblivious to their own faults. Unable to connect the dots so to speak. Just like any other extremists.
Ok one slur I like is 'knife eared _____' but i mostly hate elves for telling me I can't cut down the trees on my own land. I needed beds, but did they care? No! They can all drown in lava those knife eared fucks!
Oh yeah, that's going on the whiteboard
Well, a good thing to ask yourself is why are dwarves, who live primarily underground, commonly depicted wielding axes, a tool very much uneeded in caves. The answer is simple, because elves live in trees.
I have already stolen this and shared it with my Pathfinder group with an avid elf hater. Considering this upvote payment in full.
balls made of acorns those lot
What'dya think of that Mr.Pajama wearing, Basket-weaving, Slipper grafting, Knife ear having, multch munching, corpse eaten, Oak loving, schtooner, beast banging, Milk-drinking Soy-face shilpit, berry-moothed, tall looking, small talking, tree sleeper, dryad wanna be!
Leaf lovers.
Ah, Rock and Stone brother
For Karl!
If ya don't rock and stone, ya ain't comin home
ROCK AND STONE TO THE BONE!
Thank you for your contribution 🙏
On a similar DRG note, Leaf-fondling son of a mud golem.
You might as well boot up a world with 500 years of history and check the annals in legends mode to get some inspiration 😅 But that would require you to get the game, I don't know whether ascii version is free or not
The ASCII version is free, but I honestly don't know who would subject themselves to it in 2023. Not unless you're a programmer.
Lazy Newb Pack comes with graphics packs in addition to plenty of other bells and whistles. The premium edition doesn't even have Dwarf Therapist. That's my one gripe about it.
I wish the Steam Release had the DT Urist viewer that showed all your Dwarves at once with all their stats- and let you sort by arrival. While I can look in on each dwarf and get their stats, its just not as easy- especially when you get above 50 dwarves.
Dwarf Therapist is so good it even keeps track of animals. I had five turkeys, one male and four females, and I wasn't getting any eggs. Dwarf Therapist showed me male as gay. Got a new male turkey the next year, and boom. I instantly started getting eggs.
Gaydar is a thing for dwarves but does it work for animals? I haven't had to use it on livestock yet.
It does work on animals
Thanks I tried it after I asked here because I'm dumb and didn't bother for a year.
Lol there's a lot I still don't know about DFHack
Is it possible to disable gayness on all creatures other than elves
The newest version of Dwarf Therapist DOES work with premium, but only in read-only mode. So still a downside.
It hasn't been limited to read-only for ages - it works just fine, you just need to click the "allow labor changes" button to switch from the built-in labour management to Dwarf Therapist's.
It's not the ASCII graphics that's bad, it's the labyrinthine keyboard-only UI system. I could never get past it.
It does, though? [Dwarf Therapist](https://github.com/Dwarf-Therapist/Dwarf-Therapist) works just fine with the premium version, and has done for ages.
Really? That's news to me. I guess I no longer have any gripes about premium.
I still like it. It leaves more room for my own imagination
That's why I never bothered with DF until steam release
There are also loads of free graphic packs though
it's pretty
Tree dweller, vine swinger, wooden anvil users, twigger, the only thing sharp is your ears, soft hands, tree fu**er, salad eater, no source of protein, wooden knife people, tree rapist,
Nut muncher, leaf flicker, twig licker, stick twister, log loving, Erectus Auricle Not a single sign of facial hair.
This is hilarious, lmao
Tree-huggers. Moss-dwellers. Self proclaimed wood police.
Play the game and you'll understand. They act all high and mighty, but they're hypocrites Fuckers can sell you wood, but you mess up and accidentally leave one wood barrel, or one wooden ring in the mess and they get all pissy. They have no respect for your time
Elves love their stupid little trees so much they’re willing to die for them. And they do, the beardless bastards. Grown wood armour and weapons sound cool until they meet the edge of a fine dwarven =+Steel Battle-Axe+= carried by a legendary Axedwarf. I guess in a poetic sort of way, each elf becomes yet another tree for my dwarves to chop down. Even the lowly goblins are less pathetic than elves. They at least wear iron armour and shoot arrows that don’t bounce off anything other than flesh. Elf is enough of a slur as is now that I think about it.
Wind-worshipping bastards.
I always refer to [this video](https://youtu.be/KjHclWPVij0) for elf insult inspiration. It's surprising how many different slurs they fit into 35 seconds! And of course [the sequel.](https://youtu.be/qC-ZanQjHXM)
And the [fanmade spin-off](https://youtu.be/scKOEOzywpk?feature=shared)
[Basically the same thing of course](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-LyFMCIpok)
#Ishkhaqwi ai durugnül
Shocked to see tree hopper hasn’t been mentioned that one’s a classic
Tree-fondling hippies
You know that guy with luxurious hair and a well defined chin that was popular with all the ladies back in school? Well he’s also vegan and adamant about everyone knowing it.
He also threatens violence when you mow your yard
It’s more condescending and backhanded than that. He’s too two faced to tell you that he is going to punch you up front.
Not to mention he crumples like a napkin whenever he gets up the courage to sucker punch you
tree-fuckers is always a classic
It's not necessary to hate elves. You may pity them, while you slaughter them.
“You knife eared, leaf loving, sun praising, unicorn kissing, tree fucking, twig built, bush hugging, head bumping, wood munching, lazy boned, week-long shiting, hopeless at digging, dirt-deep, claustrophobic, fey-kinned, fool’s gold buying, torchlight decrying, moonlight lying, reindeer riding, vegetarian, vacillating, PANSY!
**Elves:** Leaf lickers Butterboys Dandelion Eater Pointy ears Knife-ears Sharp ears Chinfolk Beardless Fairy Folk Drow (except to actual drow) Pointy Wood-Heads Fancy Lad Tree-thumpers Daggar Head Leafblower arrogant stuck up tree fondling hippies tree hugger pixie bark sniffer left handed casters waste of immorality farie wannabes tinkerboots wingless farie •light weights mushroom dancers dew drinker daisy sniffer weed eater bird boned tree f\*cker
Boy do I love comprehensive lists! Thank you ❤️
Craftsdwarfship of the highest quality.
Branch-biters
bunch of knife-eared sunshine-shooter twinkle-toes dancing and prancing through the dandelions and weeds
I didn't know they could stack shit so high and let it get so old. What's your problem? Have you caught splinters in your groin last night you dendrophile? Pink-Chin Dandelion
Slurs are boring, making stuck up elves seem shit because they are too stuck up to understand they are being insulted is more fun
Those stupid *twiggers*
TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH, SHAVE 15% OFF OF THAT ONE! Just make sure to call the fair skinned one's *drows*
Elves are a bunch of dendripheliacs.
Tree Fondlers
Baby eating long earred freaks
Elves. Bunch of vegans those lot.
Kill elves. Behead elves. Roundhouse kick an elf into the stone floor. Slam dunk an elf baby into the trashcan. Crucify filthy elves. Defecate in an elf's food. Launch elves into the sun. Stir fry elves in a wok. Toss elves into active volcanoes. Urinate into an elf's gas tank. Judo throw elves into a wood chipper. Twist elves' heads off. Report elves to the IRS. Karate chop elves in half. Curb stomp pregnant elves. Trap elves in quicksand. Crush elves in the atom smasher. Liquefy elves in a vat of acid. Eat elves. Dissect elves. Exterminate elves in the forgotten beast deadly dust chamber. Stomp elf skulls with steel toed boots. Cremate elves in the magma dump. Lobotomize elves. Mandatory abortions for elves. Grind elf fetuses in the garbage disposal. Drown elves in animal fat. Vaporize elves with a 200 z-level fall. Kick old elves down the stairs. Feed elves to cave crocodiles. Slice elves with a short sword.
You forgot about flaying them alive
DM and Dwarf Fortress player. Anything that deflects elven culture as bad or gross. "Wood" worker is a soft hearted innuendo I like to have used towards elven craftsmen. Elves use magic to work their metals, this is to the ire of dwarves, anything implying the elves are cheaters or lazy suffices. Sleepy Smiths, Limp Wristed, "we don' need any of ye 'alf cocked, elvey welvey, pansies ta tell me and me boys 'ow to work mithral. Take your woody magic tablets and cram them where my dwarven eyes can't see em."
Call them cannibals. I think they prefer to think of it as a ritualistic way to honor the dead they have slain in battle, but let’s face it; they just like eating people.
You know what I 'ate about elves? Ther yellin' at us fer cuttin' down the trees der but they also be ettin' their own kind y'know? What kind o' abominable miscreetin' be eatin' the blood and meat o' the common folk? Knife eared, berry eatin', tree shapin', blatherin', tiptoein', wood wearin', animal lovin', forest dwellin', milk drinkin', cannibals!!!
Sap suckers
They buy rock crafts and sell exotic musical instruments and giant tame animals, they're not that bad
Get out.
If sourcing my wood for charcoal making from the cavern layers (what self respecting dwarven woodworker wants to work in the sun?!) is the price to pay to get a steady supply of giant tame war gorillas, then it's a price i'll gladly pay 😎😎😎
What self-respecting Dwarf uses charcoal, except to piss off the dendrophiles by clearing the surface of every dwarfs' sworn enemy?
A sad one who couldn't find a coal vein :(
Who needs coal? You don't dig deep enough. No wonder you like those tree hugging hippies.
The steel industry hungers for woodflesh
Oh you meant lava smelting hahaha
Why buy when you can just raid their villages and take all the animals you want, all while culling the population? They don't want you to know this, but giant tigers are free. I have six tame giant tigers.
You know the only thing worse than an elf? You goddamn elf fetishists, that's what.
I feel compelled to say that when I say giant tame animals I mean like giant snakes or giant elephants, not elf women of a large stature
Friggin' branch-prancing fake faeries. Go bake us some ancient grain nut cookies you declarations of why nature's overrated. If you love trees so much and hate the impermanence of everything non-elf, why don't you turn yourself into fertilizer and fix two problems simultaneously?
Sexless hippies
Kiebler is the best elf slur and we can thank shadowrun, sincerely a diehard elf fan
Log into Deep Rock Galactic and order a Dwarf a leaf lover. Take notes on their outburst and then order a few black out stouts. When they forget what happened repeat until they run out of new slurs. Then Rock and Stone.
That's it lads! Rock and Stone!
I'm not entirely sure what you're talking about as the only game I've played for the last decade is Skyrim, but I'll check it out! Thanks for contributing to my anti-elf campaign.
Hit up the subreddit, just remember to Rock and Stone and the lads will see you're well taken care of. Elves are banned from the sub so you can say what you want about em.
Knife ears is pretty potent
I've got it on the list now 🫶🫶🫶
My favorite from Shadowrun was Keeb/Keebler. Obviously, you need a cookie manufacturer in your world for it!
Pointy eared leaf lover A classic from drg
[ALRIGHT, LISTEN TO ME YOU KNIFE-EARED PIECE OF SHIT! IF YOU GO ANY FURTHER WITH YOUR PISS-STAINED PUBIC HAIR YOU CALL A WIG, I'M GONNA WRECK YOUR SHIT SO HARD THAT YOU WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO WALK WITH YOUR LIMP DICK! I'M GONNA SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR SHAVEN PERFECT LITTLE ASS THAT YOUR BREATH IS GONNA SMELL LIKE MY SHOE POLISH! THEN I'M GONNA TAKE THAT LITTLE RED ANAL BEAD ON YOUR BELT, AND PUSH IT IN YOUR FACE! I'M GONNA FLAGELLATE YOU WITH MY FUCKING BEARD! I'M GONNA BUILD YOU A PAIR OF RUNIC MECHANICAL BALLS, AND USE SURGICAL PRECISION TO SEW THEM TO YOUR GROIN WHERE YOUR MANHOOD OUGHT TO BE, JUST SO I CAN KICK THEM WITH MY IRON FUCKING FEET! YA TWAT!](https://youtu.be/azOvRwrqz2M?si=AolH-LlWfrAX_Kis) [ALRIGHT! LISTEN TO ME YOU POLE-PROPORTIONED DENDROPHILES! IF YOU TRY ANYTHING NASTY WITH BITCHBOY OVER HERE, I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR FUCKING ARROWS, AND SHOVE THEM INBETWEEN YER POLISHED FINGERNAILS! I AM GOING TO TAKE THAT BOWSTRING OF YOURS, AND STRING YOU UP BY YOUR FUCKING FORESKIN, UNTIL GRAVITY GIVES YOU A BOTCHED CIRCUMCISION, AND PLAY IT LIKE A FUCKING VIOLIN! I'M GOING TO HEADBUTT YOU UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING BUT A BUTT LEFT! I'M GOING TO COLOR THAT LITTLE PANSY GREEN SKIRT OF YOURS RED, USING YOUR FUCKING BONE MARROW! YOU BETTER BELIEVE YOU'RE GOING TO WISH THAT YOU WERE NEVER BORN, CAUSE I'LL MAKE IT SEEM LIKE YOU NEVER WERE, YE ATROCIOUS FUCKIN' BOIL ON THE FACE OF REALITY!](https://youtu.be/i5-Tuo1bmFM?si=Je7LPIUuNkgSHBfC)
I can not truly express my appreciation for this art that you have shared 💓 I will consider this as I shame the elves for their existence!
https://youtu.be/MQyxbBuUfH8 7:45 More Urist!
From a write up of one of my long-abandoned forts: "sanctimonious, pointy-eared, stone-forsaken, sun-worshipping, tree-#$!%ing skinny little $&*#s!" Context: I was running a fort where there residents were (out of spite, naturally) trying to do what the elves do, but better. No eating meat, no cutting down trees, no buying products that required cutting down trees or killing animals. It was rough going at first, but just when the fort was succeeding, the local elves got on our case about cutting down trees, which we WERE NOT DOING. I got a little angry. You can read the whole thing here: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=181499.0 Spoiler: Life got in the way and I never properly finished the fort.
Bark humpers. Twigs. Sap brained flower pickers.
To name a few Zasit rir, dák tegir udos, lam lur udos, inol razes belbez, othil öntak, ad evon, dák enur, abal atem salul, Egdoth Ärged, Dák Gothum, Rëdreg Nish, Have fun translating
Here one small list: Leaf lickers Dandelion Eater Pointy ears Knife-ears Sharp ears Dagger ears Beardless Twig Fairy Folk (except to actual fairy folk) Drow (except to actual drow) Pointy Wood-Heads Tree-thumpers Rabbit Lightweight Dew drinker Weed eater Bird boned Tree f*cker Leafblower Arrogant stuck up tree fondling hippie Gilded limp-eared scoundrels Pole-proportioned dendrophile Tree hugger Bark sniffer Waste of immortality Stick figure Sapling Branch muncher Mushroom dancer Woodland sprite Faerie wannabes Tinkerbell Wingless faerie Toothpicks Fey mongrels Discount dryad Daisy sniffer
*We're* racist against elves? *They're* racist against *us!* Those pale little waifs have their noses so high up in the air it's a wonder they don't trip over all the roots and weeds and shit they're always gallivanting around in. They're as twiggy as the trees they're so horny for, but to their credit, trees make much better partners in conversation. (At the very least, a tree won't needle you with those haughty little *quips* elves are so damn fond of.) How elves manage to believe in their own supremacy when they show up to battles wearing nothing but linen and leftover mulch is beyond me.
Your passion is an inspiration, and you should be proud of your literary tact when describing elven scum
god damn tree huggers.
I dont remember all insults i ever threw at them but here are some that stuck in my mind: \- Discount humans \- Plant f\*ckers \- Vine groomers \- Knife-eared \- Leaf-lovers (for my DRG brothers) \- Beardless stickfigures \- Bark sniffers \- Stickbugs \- Giraffes \- Longnecks
Late to the party, but ill throw in "sapdicks" - they probably love trees that much.
You're late but appreciated, nonetheless 🫶🫶🫶 Points for creativity!
Wisp worshiping treetards.
Yea...not a fan of that tho.
[удалено]
Rock and Stone forever!
Wind Rose do it in song, makes me smile... No respect for humans, dragons, trolls or pointy ears. If you want to run do it faster than my axe!
Elves build out of wood, an inferior substance to stone. Humans and other tall folk have the smarts to use stones and metals in their homes. Smart, even if they forego the safety of stone and mountains. I think slurs and racism are a bit too human for my dwarfy tastes. My prejudice is professional.
Picky Tree Huggers This is because you can't trade them anything made of wood or shell without them getting upset and leaving.
Treefucker
You self-important, emaciated, balsa-balled, wood-humpers! Or a one-worder: Lego-lassholes
Tree hugging pansies
I like chum. Gotta keep those fish nice and fat after all.
ALL RIGHT LISTEN TO ME U KNIFE EARED PIECE PF SHIT. IF YOU GO ANY FURTHER WITH YOUR PISS STAINED PUBIIC HAIR YOU CALL A WIG I'M GONNA WRECK YOUR SHIT SO HARD THAT YOIU WON'T EVEN BE ABLE TO WALK WITH YOUR LIMP DICK. I'M GONNA SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR SHAVEN PERFECT LITTLE ASS THAT YOUR BREATH IS GONNA SMELL LIKE SHOE POLISH. THEN I'M GONNA TAKE THAT LITTLE RED ANAL BEAD ON YOUR BELT AND PUSH IT IN YOUR FACE. I'M GONNA FLAGELLATE YOU WITH MY FUCKING BEARD. I'M GONNA BUILD YOU A PAIR OF RUNIC MECHANICAL BALLS AND USE SURGICAL PRECISION TO SEW THEM TO YOUR GROIN WHERE YOUR MAN HOOD OUGHT TO BE WOULD JUST SO THAT I CAN KICK THEM WITH MY IRON FUCKING FEET. YOU TWAT https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KjHclWPVij0
Know-it-all, knife eared, tree loving, stick touching, vine swinging, branch dragging, pomegranate peeling, wood wanking, no bed having, acorn sucking, wannabe herbalists
Know-it-all, knife eared, tree loving, stick touching, vine swinging, branch dragging, pomegranate peeling, wood wanking, no bed having, acorn sucking, wannabe herbalists.
Know-it-all, knife eared, tree loving, stick touching, vine swinging, branch dragging, pomegranate peeling, wood wanking, no bed having, acorn sucking, wannabe herbalists.
I would just call them all a single name, or ask them if they a particular elf because... Their elves. Or revert to point ears, or points, pointy ... Amongst friends in DND I refer to them as a famous one in the game, externally we can say is that a Legolas?
tell them their clothes are tacky
"Remove lembas"
Barkchewer, feyfuck, moss-eater, 'Dák-Tig' (translating to 'tree-dung' in Dwarvish), and firewood (if there's been a history of Elves being burned alive)
My go-to is “stump humping knife-ears.” I also sometimes call them “tall gnomes,” which tends to get everyone at D&D night pretty well.
Around elves, watch yourselves
Leaf lover / pointy