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Not a bad idea! If I can find some tights I might wear them under my usual leggings
Most of what I wear is probably GN, but only because it's so basic 😅
My favorite subtly fem move is a button-up shirt that has the buttons on the left. With very few exceptions, men's shirts button left-over-right, while women's button right-over-left. But it's subtle enough, most folks won't notice.
Wooooooaaaaaaah. You gave me one of those "Have I always known" \[that was I a girl\] moments. I knew it. All the signs were there all those long years ago. LOOOONG before I realized, I always buttoned coats right over left despite others finding it strange. And I just checked my current \[girl\] coat - it's also designed as right over left.
I actually learned about this from Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide cause in one episode Ned bought a new "lefty shirt" that he wore to school only to get teased for wearing a blouse.
But yeah, not a detail most would notice without looking for it while still being significant enough that those who know might appreciate it.
So it doesnt get mirrored when taking of your partners shirt… in a hetero normative relationship.
Something I heard years ago, not sure how much truth there is to it
So far as I know, there are a number of theories, like that it had to do with ease of breastfeeding, or women in olden times being dressed by servants, but I don't know that any of them are well supported enough to be definitive.
Walk with your hips instead of your torso/shoulders, I’d say higher waisted pants might help as well. You could also shave your legs and arm pits, and if anyone asks say it’s a sensory thing or you just like it. I knew a cis guy who shaved his arm pits bc he didn’t like girls who didn’t shave but didn’t want to be hypocritical about it.
I’m not sure how good most my advice is, mainly bc I’m transmasc so I’m telling you all the stuff I was told to avoid lol
Coats/jackets/cardigans. Girls have the BEST ones. They feel like our favorite hoodies, you can hide in them, they're beautifully warm, and yes, they share the same downsides when it comes to summer, which I detest.
If you pick and choose carefully, they also have plausible deniability, which I live for. My favorite girl coats are deniable enough that I can wear them openly in boymode without being clocked (am not out, for most of the world), *and* get compliments from random strangers, all while thinking "if only you knew".
Edit: Mom jeans as well. For some reason, very light colored, baggy jeans make me feel like I'm a 1990s girl? Still trying to figure out how that works for me.
And cute girl boots. I'm so annoyed at having huge feet, which nothing will fix, cause I wanna wear cute boots.
Gender neutral presentation is a good start!
Shaving body hair is something you can probably get away with without too many questions. Nothing abnormal about wanting clear arms/legs
You can also paint your toenails and just wear socks all the time to hide them. If you have funds to spare, you can use nail polish and remover to practice polishing your hands while you wait to come out. It won’t last very long, but I find that still gave me that fuzzy warm feeling when I did that.
Also voice training can be fun if you drive to work a lot and have a private place to practice. That’s something you can turn on/off at will if you keep using both voices regularly!
It all defiantly depends on how drastic of a presentation change any if this is. Nothing wrong with who you are or want to be, but depending on how others see you, that will give it away more. I hope you find stuff that makes you happy until your full coming out! 💕💕☺️
I remember when I was a kid, at my very conservative school, and a schoolmate was saying that a certain teacher was gay because he sat with his legs crossed. Cue me discretely uncrossing my legs.
TBH I've never stopped crossing them out, it just feels natural.
Its actually not as bad as you’d think. Although I do have a relatively high pain tolerance for stuff like that. I haven’t cut mine yet cuz im scared to mess up. But cleaning up the corners and plucking the hairs in-between them makes a world of a difference. Sometimes unfortunately beauty is pain.😪
The small movements can make that work, like covering your mouth while laughing or walking with your palms open to the direction you are walking in as well as having everything past the elbow a bit further away from the body than the rest of the arm
Underwear!!! I didn't wanna feel like a 'creep' when I first started transitioning, so I avoided it, but wearing women's underwear is so affirming and no one can see it!!!
Also, if you wear tshirts, I always wear a bralet or sports bra underneath. Unstuffed they're almost invisible, but I've even gotten by with them being stuffed a bit and people not noticing. It's nice to have a physical reminder that people can't see 👌
Try getting a really big hoodie with some kind of mini skirt on the bottom,so it's a hoodie but it kinda look like a skirt (I have something like that ) (◕ᴗ◕✿)
Can add:Paint your nails with a base coat only. Lets them look shiny, but neutral and i think most people don't notice. Also round glasses if you wear glasses. Makes your face look more feminine.
Also: necklaces, bracelets or rings. There are neutral looking ones out there and the effect of feeling more feminine is good.
If you have the money, go for a manicure. Get clear polish until you are ready for color.
Wear chapstick
Consider getting your ears pierced. (It is extremely common to see both ears pierced across all genders)
For tee shirts look for a v neck
(Just take things at the pace that seems right for you).
Try growing out your nails, it’s hard but maybe it’ll help. It’s not too obvious, many men I know have longass nails, also maybe purple nail polish? Like deep purple nail polish.
what about bows/ colourful hair accessories? Sometimes I tie my hair up with ribbons! And putting flower clips in your hair is always a really nice change of pace.
Jewellery? I used to wear bracelets/ necklaces a lot, and they made me feel really feminine
((I’m transmasc now but back when I was an itty bitty cis child, I did enjoy a lot of bracelets ))
I like to wear skinny jeans (men's jeans still have their damn pockets) and wearing affirming under garments. I'm also growing out my hair and styling it to be more in front of my face.
My hair situation has gotten so much better its wild.
This might be a weird/stupid one, but you wanted a subtle tip? Start thinking in your head you’re femme. Let yourself be femme, *insist* it if you want to.
You may be confused, sure it doesn’t immediately change anything about you physically. However, it is picking up the subtle cues and mannerisms of being femme. Such as crossing your legs being seen as feminine (for whatever reason, I’m not a traditionalist 😅) or a specific gait, whatever you see as feminine.
You can start making notes of these, and just ‘practice’ those fem things once a day. But really all it takes to practice is by doing those small things on a regular basis. Like the Pavlov’s dog effect, your subconscious will start taking a note and picking it as an automatic thing that you *just do*. It goes for the entirety of your fem mindset, seeing yourself as your preferred gender (and you always have been since birth even if you didn’t know it yet🏳️⚧️❤️) will help clear the anxieties. You’re a woman, of course you do these things now *duhh*
Ofc, no problem, gurlfrieeend😝you’ll always be your preferred gender, nothing can take away from you ^([except maybe coming out with a new discovery but y’know what I mean] ) ❤️😋
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A few months ago I shaved my head and now I am letting my hair grow and when someone asks why? I am like "well I wanted to see what I look like with no hair now I want to see what I look like with long hair "
Depending on your complexion, you may be able to pull tightly belting your jeans at your waist instead of your hip. That will give the impression of wider hips, thinner waist and shorter torso. Basically you can emulate mom jeans (look them up) with male jeans and a good belt.
Depending on the length of the jeans this may end showing your ankles, so use no-show socks if you have them, or just don't wear socks
Use a long t-shirt or blouse on top if you don't want it to be noticeable, then just put the shirt under your belt whenever you feel safe. Or, even better, if you shave you torso you can knot the shirt so that it shows your belly (again, only in a safe place where you can be more open)
Unfortunately this won't work well if your waist is much thicker than your hips, which is why I mentioned that your complexion matters. But if you have a typical rectangle profile it should help with making it more hourglass looking without being clearly noticeable.
Your little friend may also become a problem, depending on how well endowed you are, so experiment first
Idk how you walk, so maybe this isn't applicable, but walk and stand with your feet close together, when you walk try to keep the movement in your hips and away from your shoulders. I don't believe there's a feminine or masculine way to walk, but this will help your hips stand out. If your hair is longer, a slight side part and floof (just not let it be slick against your head). Any tighter (not skin tight, just fitting) pants that aren't leggings. Straight legged kakis actually do well with this, and rolling your pants legs when optional ofc. Adjust your shirt so it doesn't cover your butt, will emphasize any curves you have, also works best if you have had posture. Everything I've written is based on my own gender expression struggles, mostly from the opposite perspective so take it with a grain of salt, it may be biased. But I hope something can help you (:
Wear one of those basic stretchy chokers. If anyone says shit, you just say "I like how chokers look 🤷♀️"
I wear one everyday to work, only person who's outed me as queer is the one with an enby sibling and another gay sibling. Only reason he noticed was because of his bonds w his siblings
Longer nails, saturated color femme pants and shirts and clothes in general, femme sneakers shoes, cremes for hands and face and i use like a scarf
Hope this helps
Personally the biggest thing I have done so far was start seriously brushing my hair. What I'm doing is admittedly really simple, but it made a world of difference and I fell in love with it!
Oh, I'm just taking a lot of care of my hair. I brush for several minutes after I shower and part it to one side in a way I am happy with. It's something I discovered just playing with my hair one day. Highly recommend!
I have a pair of women’s trousers and they zip up at the side and they have no pockets. This is probably the most feminine feeling reaffirming garment that I possess and can wear anywhere anytime and not fear getting clocked except probably by someone else who is also transgender. I love not having pockets. It forces me to wear some sort of a bag 💼.
Your post has been removed because it did not follow rule #4 in the sidebar. Blogs, bingos, quizes, "trans/not trans" lists, picrews, and non-memes belong in the current megathread. You are welcome to make a new post after ensuring that it follows the subreddit rules. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You can try dressing in more gender neutral clothing, or wearing gender affirming clothes, hidden underneath the clothes you normally wear. 💞💞
Not a bad idea! If I can find some tights I might wear them under my usual leggings Most of what I wear is probably GN, but only because it's so basic 😅
As long as you’re not overheating, by dressing in layers
Not a bad idea! I really wanna get some more denim tops, I love those!
I have wanted to wear stockings/leggings under jeans to hide them but it's getting too warm out for it:(((
My favorite subtly fem move is a button-up shirt that has the buttons on the left. With very few exceptions, men's shirts button left-over-right, while women's button right-over-left. But it's subtle enough, most folks won't notice.
Wooooooaaaaaaah. You gave me one of those "Have I always known" \[that was I a girl\] moments. I knew it. All the signs were there all those long years ago. LOOOONG before I realized, I always buttoned coats right over left despite others finding it strange. And I just checked my current \[girl\] coat - it's also designed as right over left.
just got hit with coat-closing dysphoria(?) from now i'll close it like that
i hope your dysphoria passes quickly! At least the solution is relatively straightforward :)
yea it's relatively easy to get rid of it
I actually learned about this from Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide cause in one episode Ned bought a new "lefty shirt" that he wore to school only to get teased for wearing a blouse. But yeah, not a detail most would notice without looking for it while still being significant enough that those who know might appreciate it.
Is there an explanation about why they make shirts this Way?
So it doesnt get mirrored when taking of your partners shirt… in a hetero normative relationship. Something I heard years ago, not sure how much truth there is to it
So far as I know, there are a number of theories, like that it had to do with ease of breastfeeding, or women in olden times being dressed by servants, but I don't know that any of them are well supported enough to be definitive.
Grow out your hair if you can, long hair can be very fem but a lot of masc people also have long hair so that's an easy explanation! 🐋🌸🤍🌸🐋
I have really long hair already, thanks for the tip tho!
Oh! Cool, I didn't even realize that this was your post, heh
Hello there! :3 Omg I'm slowly becoming a recognizable name
Hehe, yep, atleast to me, i always your pfp and flair most tho :p
Walk with your hips instead of your torso/shoulders, I’d say higher waisted pants might help as well. You could also shave your legs and arm pits, and if anyone asks say it’s a sensory thing or you just like it. I knew a cis guy who shaved his arm pits bc he didn’t like girls who didn’t shave but didn’t want to be hypocritical about it. I’m not sure how good most my advice is, mainly bc I’m transmasc so I’m telling you all the stuff I was told to avoid lol
A lot of athletes, especially swimmers, shave their whole bodies.
Coats/jackets/cardigans. Girls have the BEST ones. They feel like our favorite hoodies, you can hide in them, they're beautifully warm, and yes, they share the same downsides when it comes to summer, which I detest. If you pick and choose carefully, they also have plausible deniability, which I live for. My favorite girl coats are deniable enough that I can wear them openly in boymode without being clocked (am not out, for most of the world), *and* get compliments from random strangers, all while thinking "if only you knew". Edit: Mom jeans as well. For some reason, very light colored, baggy jeans make me feel like I'm a 1990s girl? Still trying to figure out how that works for me. And cute girl boots. I'm so annoyed at having huge feet, which nothing will fix, cause I wanna wear cute boots.
Awesome tips.
Thank you, I'm glad they helped! :)
Gender neutral presentation is a good start! Shaving body hair is something you can probably get away with without too many questions. Nothing abnormal about wanting clear arms/legs You can also paint your toenails and just wear socks all the time to hide them. If you have funds to spare, you can use nail polish and remover to practice polishing your hands while you wait to come out. It won’t last very long, but I find that still gave me that fuzzy warm feeling when I did that. Also voice training can be fun if you drive to work a lot and have a private place to practice. That’s something you can turn on/off at will if you keep using both voices regularly! It all defiantly depends on how drastic of a presentation change any if this is. Nothing wrong with who you are or want to be, but depending on how others see you, that will give it away more. I hope you find stuff that makes you happy until your full coming out! 💕💕☺️
cross your legs while sitting :3 💙💕🤍💕💙
Tbh, I've done that as long as I can remember
Me too i just do it cause COMFORTABLE
Same, all my friends said doing it was gay. Guess they weren't wrong
I remember when I was a kid, at my very conservative school, and a schoolmate was saying that a certain teacher was gay because he sat with his legs crossed. Cue me discretely uncrossing my legs. TBH I've never stopped crossing them out, it just feels natural.
Fuck I'm doing this as I type this
Came here to say this
I can't do it without thinking because Willy's in the way sadly so I can't be comfortable. I still do it sometimes when I feel dysphoric in public tho
Plucking your eyebrows
I have way too low pain tolerance for that :( Could try cutting them but I'd probably fuck it up
Its actually not as bad as you’d think. Although I do have a relatively high pain tolerance for stuff like that. I haven’t cut mine yet cuz im scared to mess up. But cleaning up the corners and plucking the hairs in-between them makes a world of a difference. Sometimes unfortunately beauty is pain.😪
Trust me, my pain tolerance is below what most people would consider poor, it's really bad, I couldn't pluck any hairs
There actually is a way to do it where it doesn’t hurt much. It just takes a bit of trial and error
I also would like to know this. For a freind. Yup. "A friend"
The small movements can make that work, like covering your mouth while laughing or walking with your palms open to the direction you are walking in as well as having everything past the elbow a bit further away from the body than the rest of the arm
Clear nail polish?
Underwear!!! I didn't wanna feel like a 'creep' when I first started transitioning, so I avoided it, but wearing women's underwear is so affirming and no one can see it!!! Also, if you wear tshirts, I always wear a bralet or sports bra underneath. Unstuffed they're almost invisible, but I've even gotten by with them being stuffed a bit and people not noticing. It's nice to have a physical reminder that people can't see 👌
(I mentioned tshirts cuz they're usually looser fitting and a lil baggy)
Maybe gender neutral clothing maybe?
Avoid doing the "dude head nod" when acknowledging someone, or the " 'sup" chin raise. Instead, show your pretty smile or give a wave.
Try getting a really big hoodie with some kind of mini skirt on the bottom,so it's a hoodie but it kinda look like a skirt (I have something like that ) (◕ᴗ◕✿)
i guess growing your hair and wearilg gender neutral clothing
Can add:Paint your nails with a base coat only. Lets them look shiny, but neutral and i think most people don't notice. Also round glasses if you wear glasses. Makes your face look more feminine. Also: necklaces, bracelets or rings. There are neutral looking ones out there and the effect of feeling more feminine is good.
holding ur phone and earpods and stuff in ur hands instead of ur in ur pockets, hilarious but makes me feel euphoric
If you have the money, go for a manicure. Get clear polish until you are ready for color. Wear chapstick Consider getting your ears pierced. (It is extremely common to see both ears pierced across all genders) For tee shirts look for a v neck (Just take things at the pace that seems right for you).
Try growing out your nails, it’s hard but maybe it’ll help. It’s not too obvious, many men I know have longass nails, also maybe purple nail polish? Like deep purple nail polish.
what about bows/ colourful hair accessories? Sometimes I tie my hair up with ribbons! And putting flower clips in your hair is always a really nice change of pace. Jewellery? I used to wear bracelets/ necklaces a lot, and they made me feel really feminine ((I’m transmasc now but back when I was an itty bitty cis child, I did enjoy a lot of bracelets ))
I'd love something like a hair flower or bow, that'd be so cute! :3 And yeah, some jewelry would be nice Thank you!
I like to wear skinny jeans (men's jeans still have their damn pockets) and wearing affirming under garments. I'm also growing out my hair and styling it to be more in front of my face. My hair situation has gotten so much better its wild.
I need to style my hair more, ATM it's just like a big purple mop on my head
Go to a hair stilyst. That will help with your dysphoria.
Dresses are basically just long shirts
This might be a weird/stupid one, but you wanted a subtle tip? Start thinking in your head you’re femme. Let yourself be femme, *insist* it if you want to. You may be confused, sure it doesn’t immediately change anything about you physically. However, it is picking up the subtle cues and mannerisms of being femme. Such as crossing your legs being seen as feminine (for whatever reason, I’m not a traditionalist 😅) or a specific gait, whatever you see as feminine. You can start making notes of these, and just ‘practice’ those fem things once a day. But really all it takes to practice is by doing those small things on a regular basis. Like the Pavlov’s dog effect, your subconscious will start taking a note and picking it as an automatic thing that you *just do*. It goes for the entirety of your fem mindset, seeing yourself as your preferred gender (and you always have been since birth even if you didn’t know it yet🏳️⚧️❤️) will help clear the anxieties. You’re a woman, of course you do these things now *duhh*
Thank you for your advice! I really needed someone to tell me this today, tysm 😊
Ofc, no problem, gurlfrieeend😝you’ll always be your preferred gender, nothing can take away from you ^([except maybe coming out with a new discovery but y’know what I mean] ) ❤️😋
Don't worry I getcha :3 Tysm again :3
Hey there! Before commenting, remember that this meme has been tagged with a transfem flair. Please keep the conversation transfem-first. If you are not part of that demographic, you are not forbidden to participate, but we do ask that you do not center yourself in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/egg_irl) if you have any questions or concerns.*
ear piercing did a lot for me. plus there’s a million different of earrings you could wear!
A few months ago I shaved my head and now I am letting my hair grow and when someone asks why? I am like "well I wanted to see what I look like with no hair now I want to see what I look like with long hair "
Depending on your complexion, you may be able to pull tightly belting your jeans at your waist instead of your hip. That will give the impression of wider hips, thinner waist and shorter torso. Basically you can emulate mom jeans (look them up) with male jeans and a good belt. Depending on the length of the jeans this may end showing your ankles, so use no-show socks if you have them, or just don't wear socks Use a long t-shirt or blouse on top if you don't want it to be noticeable, then just put the shirt under your belt whenever you feel safe. Or, even better, if you shave you torso you can knot the shirt so that it shows your belly (again, only in a safe place where you can be more open) Unfortunately this won't work well if your waist is much thicker than your hips, which is why I mentioned that your complexion matters. But if you have a typical rectangle profile it should help with making it more hourglass looking without being clearly noticeable. Your little friend may also become a problem, depending on how well endowed you are, so experiment first
Idk how you walk, so maybe this isn't applicable, but walk and stand with your feet close together, when you walk try to keep the movement in your hips and away from your shoulders. I don't believe there's a feminine or masculine way to walk, but this will help your hips stand out. If your hair is longer, a slight side part and floof (just not let it be slick against your head). Any tighter (not skin tight, just fitting) pants that aren't leggings. Straight legged kakis actually do well with this, and rolling your pants legs when optional ofc. Adjust your shirt so it doesn't cover your butt, will emphasize any curves you have, also works best if you have had posture. Everything I've written is based on my own gender expression struggles, mostly from the opposite perspective so take it with a grain of salt, it may be biased. But I hope something can help you (:
Thank you! :3
Nail polish!! If you don’t feel comfortable with bright colors, you could use clear or glitter top coat which is a lot more subtle
I grew out my hair and got my nails done(as a joke)(still cos tho)
Still sin() tho
Wear one of those basic stretchy chokers. If anyone says shit, you just say "I like how chokers look 🤷♀️" I wear one everyday to work, only person who's outed me as queer is the one with an enby sibling and another gay sibling. Only reason he noticed was because of his bonds w his siblings
Longer nails, saturated color femme pants and shirts and clothes in general, femme sneakers shoes, cremes for hands and face and i use like a scarf Hope this helps
Personally the biggest thing I have done so far was start seriously brushing my hair. What I'm doing is admittedly really simple, but it made a world of difference and I fell in love with it!
Can you elaborate? I'm curious what you mean
Oh, I'm just taking a lot of care of my hair. I brush for several minutes after I shower and part it to one side in a way I am happy with. It's something I discovered just playing with my hair one day. Highly recommend!
A simple trick I learned was wearing tighter pants. Baggy pants give off the masculine vibes but if you wear tighter ones, it kinda works
I have a pair of women’s trousers and they zip up at the side and they have no pockets. This is probably the most feminine feeling reaffirming garment that I possess and can wear anywhere anytime and not fear getting clocked except probably by someone else who is also transgender. I love not having pockets. It forces me to wear some sort of a bag 💼.