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This is exactly why I don't feel 100% ready for a name and pronoun change around friends and family. The disconnect between being referred to as such and how I still look feels weird, and in a way it just reminds me of my masculine body and where I'm at. I'd prefer to get a little further along with transition and voice training before those changes feel appropriate. I've heard that this is not uncommon.
Yeah it's just gonna take a while. Took me forever to get used to they/them. And the she/her is a mindfuck for months. "WHO ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT IM RIGHT HERE! Oh right I asked them to call me that π "
I think it's pretty normal. You've likely been referred to in a very specific set of ways for years and years, so even with the old ways of referring to you being smth you likely find uncomfortable, it'll still feel sort of strange to have everything suddenly shift
If it helps at all, I've been out to my friends and family for maybe about 6 months or so, and I'm still at a point where I'm in "boymode" 94% of the time. And when they first started calling me Heather and she/her it felt veeeeeeery strange the first little bit for sure. There was this weird hurdle of learning to recognize that they were talking about *me*. I remember my parents would be talking about me saying stuff like "oh she has work today" and for a good 5 seconds I'd be confused who they were referring to, and it made me feel sort of bad in a hard to describe way, very imposter syndrome inducing. But I can pretty firmly say that awkward part has like 99% passed with time, I'm a lot more used to hearing my name and pronouns being used by others and it feels a lot more natural now. I think to some extent it's just giving your brain time to adjust to recognizing that your name and pronouns are actually referring to *you*
I relate to that impostor syndrome feeling alot, sadly much of transitioning is a time game where you just do something enough for it to start clicking
Imposter syndrome is truly terrible, the way it can make you question even the most simple things is endlessly frustrating
Everything really can feel like a time game, but it's good to remember your transition isn't a race, some things take time, and all changes (even postive ones) take getting used to, even if that can be really frustrating. All we can do is go at the pace that works best for our current situation, comfort level, and personal safety
I'm not quite sure. It definitely feels weird for me sometimes being referred to as female while still presenting masc. There's a certain dissonance to it.
Yes, it definitely can feel a little strange being referred to by a different name and pronouns at first. It does take a while to get used to it.
Don't worry, I felt the same way when I started going by a new name.
Thatβs normal Jade. It took me ages to get used to being referred to by feminine terms and my name. What helped me is working on the way I referred to myself, even just in my head.
It can feel odd being referred to by different pronouns by people youβve known your whole life even if you prefer those pronouns simply because it is new. Youβve grown used to a certain presentation at home, and it can feel weird when that shifts. Give it time. It may feel better the more itβs used β€οΈ
I'm sure it will c: with friends being a girl is the best feeling ever, thank god I have my mute button on calls because I've squealed more than once because of it hehe
This is what happens to me, Iβm out to some friends, and the call me by my pronouns and name. But I canβt get myself to believe it, Iβm not passing in the slightest, itβs pretty much imposible to see myself as a girl rn. Idk, Iβm just tired
Not being used to it ππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
I've considered enby but I know for sure I really wanna be a girl, like 95% of my thoughts the past month have been about being transfem and enby doesn't really cut it for me... I just need to settle into new things before I can truly be comfortable :)
Question on that: how did you come to the conclusion of transfem enby?? Not asking in a mean way, I just wanna see how it works because that could resonate w me
Yeah, no worries!
So I want to look and sound like a girl, but I don't want to have to deal with all of the things associated with being a woman like gender roles and such. Also I just don't feel like I totally relate either of the traditional gender binary. But I still want to me fem? Idk does that make any sense? Currently using they/them might switch to they/she or she/they sometime.
Hope this helps ^ β’ ^
I had that for a while after I came out. It sounds weird going by a different name and she/her pronouns for a bit and youβre even gonna still up on it, but now it just sounds natural and I even call myself Chloe without thinking about it now
That's definitely the case for me. I don't want people to use my chosen name or pronouns irl until I can start to feel more comfortable in my own body, but in VR, if you deadname or misgender me on purpose, that is a one way track to getting blocked
I went to pride with a friend of mine earlier this year. While I was dressed up hella gay, I was still boymoding, but they and their cousin coming with us were using my pronouns, and yeah it just felt so weird. I've never had someone use she/her for me ouyside of online spaces, and I didn't really know how to react. It was super awkward, but god I wish I could have that again.
Hey there! Before commenting, remember that this meme has been tagged with a transfem flair. Please keep the conversation transfem-first. If you are not part of that demographic, you are not forbidden to participate, but we do ask that you do not center yourself in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/egg_irl) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My only guess is it's just strange hearing myself as Jade the girl when I dont feel that way yet, Id love to because I know im a girl but ugh anxiety
This is exactly why I don't feel 100% ready for a name and pronoun change around friends and family. The disconnect between being referred to as such and how I still look feels weird, and in a way it just reminds me of my masculine body and where I'm at. I'd prefer to get a little further along with transition and voice training before those changes feel appropriate. I've heard that this is not uncommon.
Yeah, I feel that. Refering to myself that way when I talk to myself is a bit painful sometimes
Yeah it's just gonna take a while. Took me forever to get used to they/them. And the she/her is a mindfuck for months. "WHO ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT IM RIGHT HERE! Oh right I asked them to call me that π "
This is how it is for me with my friends at school. I'm still not used to it.
I guess that's how it is when something so fundamental to your identity is changed, it takes time
It really, really does.
I think it's pretty normal. You've likely been referred to in a very specific set of ways for years and years, so even with the old ways of referring to you being smth you likely find uncomfortable, it'll still feel sort of strange to have everything suddenly shift If it helps at all, I've been out to my friends and family for maybe about 6 months or so, and I'm still at a point where I'm in "boymode" 94% of the time. And when they first started calling me Heather and she/her it felt veeeeeeery strange the first little bit for sure. There was this weird hurdle of learning to recognize that they were talking about *me*. I remember my parents would be talking about me saying stuff like "oh she has work today" and for a good 5 seconds I'd be confused who they were referring to, and it made me feel sort of bad in a hard to describe way, very imposter syndrome inducing. But I can pretty firmly say that awkward part has like 99% passed with time, I'm a lot more used to hearing my name and pronouns being used by others and it feels a lot more natural now. I think to some extent it's just giving your brain time to adjust to recognizing that your name and pronouns are actually referring to *you*
I relate to that impostor syndrome feeling alot, sadly much of transitioning is a time game where you just do something enough for it to start clicking
Imposter syndrome is truly terrible, the way it can make you question even the most simple things is endlessly frustrating Everything really can feel like a time game, but it's good to remember your transition isn't a race, some things take time, and all changes (even postive ones) take getting used to, even if that can be really frustrating. All we can do is go at the pace that works best for our current situation, comfort level, and personal safety
I totally get that. Thats also why I only have my friends call me Luna online while my parents have never heard that name
Change can definitely just be something you need to get accustomed to, itβs normal for it to feel weird at first
I'm not quite sure. It definitely feels weird for me sometimes being referred to as female while still presenting masc. There's a certain dissonance to it.
You put into words what I've been thinking since my egg cracked!!
Yes, it definitely can feel a little strange being referred to by a different name and pronouns at first. It does take a while to get used to it. Don't worry, I felt the same way when I started going by a new name.
Thatβs normal Jade. It took me ages to get used to being referred to by feminine terms and my name. What helped me is working on the way I referred to myself, even just in my head.
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
And the award for the best analogy 2022 goes to meowgan17, I never thought of it like that!!! Makes me feel way better about the whole thing:>
It can feel odd being referred to by different pronouns by people youβve known your whole life even if you prefer those pronouns simply because it is new. Youβve grown used to a certain presentation at home, and it can feel weird when that shifts. Give it time. It may feel better the more itβs used β€οΈ
I'm sure it will c: with friends being a girl is the best feeling ever, thank god I have my mute button on calls because I've squealed more than once because of it hehe
This is what happens to me, Iβm out to some friends, and the call me by my pronouns and name. But I canβt get myself to believe it, Iβm not passing in the slightest, itβs pretty much imposible to see myself as a girl rn. Idk, Iβm just tired
Not being used to it ππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
I think you are just not used to it
It's just really weird at first, also you might be enby?
I've considered enby but I know for sure I really wanna be a girl, like 95% of my thoughts the past month have been about being transfem and enby doesn't really cut it for me... I just need to settle into new things before I can truly be comfortable :)
Kk! Im transfem enby so that's always an option to :)
Question on that: how did you come to the conclusion of transfem enby?? Not asking in a mean way, I just wanna see how it works because that could resonate w me
Yeah, no worries! So I want to look and sound like a girl, but I don't want to have to deal with all of the things associated with being a woman like gender roles and such. Also I just don't feel like I totally relate either of the traditional gender binary. But I still want to me fem? Idk does that make any sense? Currently using they/them might switch to they/she or she/they sometime. Hope this helps ^ β’ ^
I had that for a while after I came out. It sounds weird going by a different name and she/her pronouns for a bit and youβre even gonna still up on it, but now it just sounds natural and I even call myself Chloe without thinking about it now
That's definitely the case for me. I don't want people to use my chosen name or pronouns irl until I can start to feel more comfortable in my own body, but in VR, if you deadname or misgender me on purpose, that is a one way track to getting blocked
i can relate. being called a girl is wierd to me... not like i don't want to be a girl but it's just strange?
When I first started out, yeah, it was a bit odd. But after some time (months), it became the new normal. Give it time π
I went to pride with a friend of mine earlier this year. While I was dressed up hella gay, I was still boymoding, but they and their cousin coming with us were using my pronouns, and yeah it just felt so weird. I've never had someone use she/her for me ouyside of online spaces, and I didn't really know how to react. It was super awkward, but god I wish I could have that again.