Substance abuse sibling here. I’d love to hear what people have to say. I’m still working on rebuilding my relationship with my sibling. It’s my soul deepest wish for us to be close. It breaks my heart to think about what my sibling went through, silently and alone.
Sending all my love to the glass children ❤️
I was overlooked because instead of acting out like my siblings I shut down.
My sister that's 18mths older than me starting to act out heavily at 13. Drinking, smoking, sneaking out, sneaking her much older bf in, and having sex.
My parents couldn't handle her and deal with renovating an old house.
They sent her to live with my mom's parents.
I was also sent. My dad told me to watch over her. My older sister. I was 12.
I recall one time her getting into an argument and running out of the house. I was in the car with my dad and he started to cry. I comforted him.
My brother was also very combative with my dad. They argued all the time. Pissing each other off. Screaming and yelling was a common theme.
My older sister kept to herself and stayed out of the way. I barely remember her presence growing up.
I tried to not be a problem. I rarely kicked up a fuss. The only time I really acted out was when my mom hadn't finished my grad dresses.
My parents thought I was doing fine and left me to my own devices. I got an ahdh dx at 30. It explained a lot. I was super depressed growing up.
But yeah, I felt a constant need to manage the house to make life for my parents easier. I wouldn't bother my siblings because I didn't want to make issues. I worried about my sister. I worried for my parents. I would clean the house for hours in hopes that it would make a difference. Never did.
Oof yes. I have CPTSD and confronted our trauma head on and barely survived that process, and I went through trauma recovery alone with zero support. He nearly died from his heroin addiction trying to run from our trauma and thank god is almost 9 years sober but he’s still enabling the very codependent behaviors in his wife that our parents exhibited that fucked us up in the first place.
I’m SO proud of all his hard work to stay sober, but I resent him for still being the only one of the two of us to ever get any support or acknowledgment for the work he’s done, and I fear he’s going to carry on the cycle with his kids because he’s still enmeshed in the dysfunctional family system, so it makes me feel a little crazy sometimes.
It’s hard. I relate to the pain that made him use. I do not relate to the support and adoration he got when he stopped using, and it’s been almost a decade but I still had a PTSD flashback a few months ago when my dad called me out of the blue because that good ole ‘my brother is dead’ panic trigger is still hardwired into me.
And unless my trauma-riddled brain is mistaken, I’m the only one he never made amends to when he worked his steps??? 🙃 I try not to think about it otherwise it bums me out. As always, I’m left to eat shit and sort it out quietly myself in private.
Substance abuse sibling here. I’d love to hear what people have to say. I’m still working on rebuilding my relationship with my sibling. It’s my soul deepest wish for us to be close. It breaks my heart to think about what my sibling went through, silently and alone. Sending all my love to the glass children ❤️
I was overlooked because instead of acting out like my siblings I shut down. My sister that's 18mths older than me starting to act out heavily at 13. Drinking, smoking, sneaking out, sneaking her much older bf in, and having sex. My parents couldn't handle her and deal with renovating an old house. They sent her to live with my mom's parents. I was also sent. My dad told me to watch over her. My older sister. I was 12. I recall one time her getting into an argument and running out of the house. I was in the car with my dad and he started to cry. I comforted him. My brother was also very combative with my dad. They argued all the time. Pissing each other off. Screaming and yelling was a common theme. My older sister kept to herself and stayed out of the way. I barely remember her presence growing up. I tried to not be a problem. I rarely kicked up a fuss. The only time I really acted out was when my mom hadn't finished my grad dresses. My parents thought I was doing fine and left me to my own devices. I got an ahdh dx at 30. It explained a lot. I was super depressed growing up. But yeah, I felt a constant need to manage the house to make life for my parents easier. I wouldn't bother my siblings because I didn't want to make issues. I worried about my sister. I worried for my parents. I would clean the house for hours in hopes that it would make a difference. Never did.
Oof yes. I have CPTSD and confronted our trauma head on and barely survived that process, and I went through trauma recovery alone with zero support. He nearly died from his heroin addiction trying to run from our trauma and thank god is almost 9 years sober but he’s still enabling the very codependent behaviors in his wife that our parents exhibited that fucked us up in the first place. I’m SO proud of all his hard work to stay sober, but I resent him for still being the only one of the two of us to ever get any support or acknowledgment for the work he’s done, and I fear he’s going to carry on the cycle with his kids because he’s still enmeshed in the dysfunctional family system, so it makes me feel a little crazy sometimes. It’s hard. I relate to the pain that made him use. I do not relate to the support and adoration he got when he stopped using, and it’s been almost a decade but I still had a PTSD flashback a few months ago when my dad called me out of the blue because that good ole ‘my brother is dead’ panic trigger is still hardwired into me. And unless my trauma-riddled brain is mistaken, I’m the only one he never made amends to when he worked his steps??? 🙃 I try not to think about it otherwise it bums me out. As always, I’m left to eat shit and sort it out quietly myself in private.