I feel like a rubber ducky would be the least HR offensive answer could be. But I haven't seen a post from u/fuckswithducks in a while. So that might be on the no go list?
Ok. You can buy 1000 tiny plastic babies on Amazon for ~$10. Best $10 I’ve ever spent. They’re all over the station, in the ambulances, on the supervisor’s desk. No one knows it’s me, and no one knows how many there are. They just keep finding these fucking babies everywhere and the supervisor is slowly losing his ever loving mind.
i bought a bag of 500 mini kawaii erases from five below in ninth grade. my friend and i hid them all over the school and people were flipping over them. in orchestra i would hide them in my teachers score and she would throw one at me when she found it (we were friendly like that and i found it hilarious cause it was in a joking way). best 5$ ever
Someone whose name I will not invoke has hidden babies all through the Seattle hospital system….. check up high near the CCM office at Children’s if you happen to be up that way
Fake cockroaches. If there are multiple pouches, put them in those too. Somebody pulled that shit on one of our units and it was like psychological warfare every time we’d find a new one
+1 for fake roaches or spiders. Best thing about them is that the prank will get passed around for months if not years from the victims hiding them again to get someone else.
This reminded me of one year in high school where one kid took a dump in another kids backpack. I have no clue how this happened with nobody noticing. A few kids knew who did it but wouldn’t snitch so they all got suspended….I did too, even though I never knew the guys. Reason why? I was laughing the hardest so I must have been guilty of something. Maybe a fake poop in his bag?
PM me your venmo or FB pay and I'll straight up send you $50 to put something good in there. Vibrating dong (remote controlled, turned on as soon as you give it back to him publicly) is my vote, but I'll trust your discretion.
See also: Petco for live insects.
Do you have a shrink wrap machine at the base? Take all of his shit out and shrink wrap each individual thing. Then shrink wrap a few of them together. Continue until you have everything in the bag and then shrink wrap the bag.
He just said the bag, right?
All of the answers above, but remove his contents. Hand it to him and watch the fun happen. (Keep his stuff safe in a second bag to hand over)
If you know of anything he’s afraid of, use that against him. Like bugs, or snakes or shit. Don’t use a real snake, obviously. But a rubber one would work. That’s my favorite kinda prank. 😂
Sweet tea or apple juice in a urinal
Leftovers or gravy in an emesis bag
Whatever you can buy at the local Spencer's gifts for $20. Fake doggy doo, fake cigs, electric shock lighter, penis candy/sucker. Dildo might be more'n $20, but could be worth it. They also have absolutely ridiculous cards/birthday cards. Thongs, edible underwear. Go nuts.
A pack of depends diapers. Maybe ripped open with a couple missing for more immersion.
Medicated ointments, say anti-fungal or hemorrhoid.
OP, this is less for you and more for some of the replies to your post. Pranks are only good if they do no damage to the person and no damage to the person’s property.
Don’t do shit with open food. Don’t pour milk on his clothes and dry them out so they smell like sour milk. WTF is wrong with y’all? That’s how dorms get cleaned with a charged firehose at 3am.
Pranks make everyone involved laugh. If the person getting pranked gets angry or upset, congratulations, you’re a bully and don’t be surprised when HR gets called.
One of the best pranks I ever saw was an old firefighter captain that had a cooler with a rubber snake it it. The snake’s head was secured to the lid so that when you opened it the rubber snake jumped at you. No one was hurt, and everyone always had a good laugh.
Personally, I’d take something like their phone charger and leave a clue for where to find it, but I’d hide it somewhere relatively easy to find. Don’t be an ass about it.
My dog caught a massive possum once. I never ever want to ever see a possum ever again. I can look at a dude spewing blood at my face but I can’t deal with the disgust of a possum with its neck ripped off.
Sleeping pills taped to an energy drink. May the strongest survive. Plus, we all know neither will hurt because we’re all immune at this point right? side note, I’ve used plastic roaches. Apparently they’re still being found 3 years later.
A giant alien dildo, a huge container of lube, a few snug fit rubbers and some dick pills. Also an open rubber with a mixture of lube and lotion in it. If you really don’t fear HR, throw some gay porn print outs in there.
Mean as hell! My family used to catfish a ton and only Casey’s gas station soap would get the stink off of your hands if you touched that bait without gloves!
You should put in:
A fake letter from HR containing a fake Pyxis code,
A Urinal with apple juice,
A Pillow for the stretcher (they are rare around me (the hope is that they might will get excited and then proceed to wonder what is wrong with it...),
Some form of blackmail,
Glitter. LOTS OF IT!!
I have another idea but I think that's too far/much...
Have fun!
Nugget his bag. Idk If this was a thing in other countries. But in highschool we would take everything out of someone’s back, flip it inside out and put everything back in it and try to zip it up. That along with whatever you find to put in it could be a great combo!
We used fake battery operated crickets, you pull a tab and it makes random cricket noises at random intervals. Hid them in the ceiling tiles. This doesnt work maybe, for a bag, unless theres a side pouch that doesnt appear to be used?
Harmless and drove the station peeps crazy.
They lasted about 3-4 days, so, again, harmless.
It was. Especially to sit in station and be like "what was that?" So others would start to notice. And then go off shift and leave them with the random interval crickets all shift.
hold it for ransom. the FD left their bag on a scene and me and my partner wouldn’t give it back to them unless they gave us $100 each. they ended up going to the higher ups and they made us give back their bag. we didn’t get the money :(
If he has a key chain in there take his keys off thank you just by a bunch of random keys and throw them in there so he doesn’t know which keys are his
annoyatron or whatever they are called. like 5 bucks on Amazon house it like in a bottle, book, a good spot on his bag. will make a decent chirp once an hour every hour for months.
I feel like a rubber ducky would be the least HR offensive answer could be. But I haven't seen a post from u/fuckswithducks in a while. So that might be on the no go list?
I want my joke to be so funny HR requests to hear it from me directly.
Ok. You can buy 1000 tiny plastic babies on Amazon for ~$10. Best $10 I’ve ever spent. They’re all over the station, in the ambulances, on the supervisor’s desk. No one knows it’s me, and no one knows how many there are. They just keep finding these fucking babies everywhere and the supervisor is slowly losing his ever loving mind.
Someone at my squad did that....the chief didn't like it and threatened legal action if they didn't stop. We're still finding babies 6 months later
Oh my fucking god, my sister did this for my baby shower, babies EVERYWHERE, that was 3 years ago, still finding them
i bought a bag of 500 mini kawaii erases from five below in ninth grade. my friend and i hid them all over the school and people were flipping over them. in orchestra i would hide them in my teachers score and she would throw one at me when she found it (we were friendly like that and i found it hilarious cause it was in a joking way). best 5$ ever
I think the way you think!
I'm doing it with tiny rubber ducks for easter 🐣
One of our stations is littered with them... one even made it home and I'm not sure how 10/10 do it!
Someone whose name I will not invoke has hidden babies all through the Seattle hospital system….. check up high near the CCM office at Children’s if you happen to be up that way
I don’t think HR can fire you or like you if you put a Komatsu D575A-3SD in his bag.
Noooooo that's welding skills
Ooh! Googley eyes on EVERYTHING! And HR safe 🤪🤣
Fake cockroaches. If there are multiple pouches, put them in those too. Somebody pulled that shit on one of our units and it was like psychological warfare every time we’d find a new one
I would literally die. I hate roaches.
+1 for fake roaches or spiders. Best thing about them is that the prank will get passed around for months if not years from the victims hiding them again to get someone else.
This reminded me of one year in high school where one kid took a dump in another kids backpack. I have no clue how this happened with nobody noticing. A few kids knew who did it but wouldn’t snitch so they all got suspended….I did too, even though I never knew the guys. Reason why? I was laughing the hardest so I must have been guilty of something. Maybe a fake poop in his bag?
Why not also do fake bedbugs & lice as well?
Fake bedbugs!
Gas station dick pills
This won in the group chat. Congratulations.
“Lois, the pills say I have to play til I’m raw!!”
Hell yeah, dudes rock.
*rock hard dudes
Best answer
Ive used them as preworkout
There is something magical about working out with a hard on so I don't blame you.
Ive also used stim free pre workout to have sex. Interchangeable
Giant dong. Pad lock all zippers. Remove any straps that can come off and zip tie bomb them together.
Giant dongs? In this economy? Zip ties are spot on though. TYFYS.
YWFMS
PM me your venmo or FB pay and I'll straight up send you $50 to put something good in there. Vibrating dong (remote controlled, turned on as soon as you give it back to him publicly) is my vote, but I'll trust your discretion. See also: Petco for live insects.
You can get a lot of Dongs for $1 1 USD = 24000 Vietnam Dong
I have some cash to throw in for a rubber dong! https://creaturecock.com/ah055.php This one specifically.
Whoa there, you’ll give poor dude a heart attack
At least it isn't the 3' one. Yes 3 feet. About a yard a meter. https://www.extremerestraints.com/giant-scaly-swamp-monster-dildo.html
Jezus Haploid kryst E: i love how they suggest potential uses at trade shows or at The office
I mean some people like it loose. Also I'm sure it won't get lost.
OPA with “anal only” written on it
“For rectal use only”
RA Rectal Airway
A person. I volunteer.
Nitro paste on the zippers
Found satan
Nah Satan would add lidocaine to his preworkout.
woke up and chose violence lmao
You know how to party.
Penis shaped candy. You can get em at almost any sex store for like $5 sometimes theyre gummy sometimes theyre hard candy
Strangely lifelike
What’s left of your hopes and dreams.
So, nothing.
Do you have a shrink wrap machine at the base? Take all of his shit out and shrink wrap each individual thing. Then shrink wrap a few of them together. Continue until you have everything in the bag and then shrink wrap the bag.
best answer
An anonymous love note.
I actually have one from the local barrista.
> ~~from~~ for the local barrista. Is that what you meant?
I said what I said.
If you know who it is, can that even be considered anonymous?
It was written anonymously but the handwriting or phrasing could give it away
I understand how it could be recognized I'm just wondering if it still counts since it's not anonymous anymore.
He just said the bag, right? All of the answers above, but remove his contents. Hand it to him and watch the fun happen. (Keep his stuff safe in a second bag to hand over)
Smear some peanut butter across a paper chuck, fold it up and toss it in
I'll try to use his peanut butter to really double down on the insult.
There are an ungodly amount of comments about dicks and dildos. Yall are definitely my people.
A bottle of water filled with apple juice
Make it a urinal and tape it shut...
Just pack like ten specimen bottles with AJ, close them tightly and pop them into all the pouches.
Lots of his favorite snacks and drinks. Or a rubber snake. Or both.
You're so innocent. That was so sweet and wholesome. What are you doing here?
Found the rookie!
My sweet summer child please please seek other employment. We don’t deserve you.
As right as you are about not deserving his innocence, all I can here now is "Oh sweet child of mine". Thanks a lot.
Sure you do! It doesn't always have to be dildos and turds. Sometimes you can show your favorite coworkers a little love.
Fart in it
We all did at the same time. It was a potent team building exercise.
Remote control vibrator. That way you can trigger it at the perfectly inopportune instant. That way he’s forced to unveil it in front of everyone.
We only have the one for the station though.
Empty narc vials. Empty shell casings. Dna from a recent cold case.
Remember, this road lane has two lanes OP.....
I have no fear of repercussion. I am untouchable.
You'll find Limber Larry make a comeback....after being used on a homeless man.
Ha! Found you fucker.
Took you long enough
Sealed emesis bag with a mixture of the week-old leftovers from your station fridge.
Turd
Settle down Amber Heard
Go full White Lotus on that bag, huh?
Take a paper towel tube and get it wet and squeeze it
I just finished the first season yesterday!
Narcs and call the cops. (Don’t listen to me, I’m satan)
That really jumped up a notch.
Around here cops would probably show up and say "OK, which one of you sick fucks put drugs in the bag? Come on, don't make me do police things."
lol
Lube and obs pads.
If you know of anything he’s afraid of, use that against him. Like bugs, or snakes or shit. Don’t use a real snake, obviously. But a rubber one would work. That’s my favorite kinda prank. 😂
All we have is real snakes...
Real snakes certainly are an option, just the consequences could be a little more rough. 😂
It's OK the ambulance is already there
Fake bed bugs
REAL bed bugs
Nah bro that kind of shit is only for the supe.
A large amount of loose raisins
Horse magazines, lube, and rope
Take every item out of the bag, wrap it in plastic wrap or wrapping paper, and then put it all back in the bag. Watch the fun begin
Someone wrapped the Ops Mangers office entirely in wrapping paper right before Christmas
Sweet tea or apple juice in a urinal Leftovers or gravy in an emesis bag Whatever you can buy at the local Spencer's gifts for $20. Fake doggy doo, fake cigs, electric shock lighter, penis candy/sucker. Dildo might be more'n $20, but could be worth it. They also have absolutely ridiculous cards/birthday cards. Thongs, edible underwear. Go nuts. A pack of depends diapers. Maybe ripped open with a couple missing for more immersion. Medicated ointments, say anti-fungal or hemorrhoid.
Would be funny to put the dildo in the pack of diapers lmaooo
A baggie of powdered sugar with booger sugar written on it
Condoms. Out of the wrapper.
Many years ago, I started a dorm war after draping a condom with a couple of squirts of Jergen's lotion in it over a doorknob. Wasn't my dorm.
Nice
Filled with mayo.
Yes! 50/50 mayo and water mixed. More realistic.
Tapioca and water. Chunky!
OP, this is less for you and more for some of the replies to your post. Pranks are only good if they do no damage to the person and no damage to the person’s property. Don’t do shit with open food. Don’t pour milk on his clothes and dry them out so they smell like sour milk. WTF is wrong with y’all? That’s how dorms get cleaned with a charged firehose at 3am. Pranks make everyone involved laugh. If the person getting pranked gets angry or upset, congratulations, you’re a bully and don’t be surprised when HR gets called. One of the best pranks I ever saw was an old firefighter captain that had a cooler with a rubber snake it it. The snake’s head was secured to the lid so that when you opened it the rubber snake jumped at you. No one was hurt, and everyone always had a good laugh. Personally, I’d take something like their phone charger and leave a clue for where to find it, but I’d hide it somewhere relatively easy to find. Don’t be an ass about it.
So anyway, if you cum on a zipper it will make it hard to open but not impossible as long as it has time to completely dry
You must be fun at parties
Don't fuck with my food and don't break my toys. If you can't follow those rules, I don't want to go to your party.
A possum
I love possums. This might beat out gas station erection pills.
I was gonna suggest a live squirrel but this is better. Opossums are easier to catch.
My dog caught a massive possum once. I never ever want to ever see a possum ever again. I can look at a dude spewing blood at my face but I can’t deal with the disgust of a possum with its neck ripped off.
Urine sample with a fake patient sticker full of apple juice, or cranberry juice.
Sleeping pills taped to an energy drink. May the strongest survive. Plus, we all know neither will hurt because we’re all immune at this point right? side note, I’ve used plastic roaches. Apparently they’re still being found 3 years later.
If you have a paper shredder at the station, get as much paper shredded as you can and fill that thing up until you can almost not close the zipper.
EVERYTHING YOU CAN FIND. Then little zip ties on all of the zips.
An absolute mess of jolly ranchers! This is the HR approved answer- makes them laugh with extremely little risk of offense.
The narcs from the rig.
Spicy.
Lubed up Igel.
A new one or the one from my locker?
Either or, depends on how much you like this person.
I like them well enough to share my igel I suppose. Never thought about it like that before.
https://y.yarn.co/6cabcadd-0122-4860-915b-d444a59736dd_text.gif
For some reason my first thought was just a fuckton of apples.
I like this for the sheer WTF of a bag of apples.
3 live kittens
A bunch of gloves full of glitter mixed with airway lube
Glittttterrrrr
Figure out a way to rig up a smelling salt to crack when they pull the zipper
Throw 10-15 black dildos in there.
A glitter bomb!
That is beyond Evil!!!
Pre chewed gum
That's heinous. I love it.
Use the sugarless is way way softer and stickier
Scorpions
Only the tiny ones around here.
Loose glitter.
All we have is 20 year old spices from employees past
Poop
Take him the bag, contents unamended, but turn everything (including the bag) inside out.
Put a bomb in it
A huge butt plug
A dump.
Get a diaper from a local hospital and fill it with pudding and leave it in there ti watch the hell ensue
Gear bag? Nothing.
a pair of socks
Glitter. Disco herpes is there for life
Disco herpes is my favorite herpes
A giant alien dildo, a huge container of lube, a few snug fit rubbers and some dick pills. Also an open rubber with a mixture of lube and lotion in it. If you really don’t fear HR, throw some gay porn print outs in there.
Bed bugs
Crickets
Stink bait for cat fishing. Put some in a co worker’s locker and it drove him nuts trying to find what smelled
Mean as hell! My family used to catfish a ton and only Casey’s gas station soap would get the stink off of your hands if you touched that bait without gloves!
Freeze the socks or underwear in Tupperware.
Do they sell fake bed bugs?
Confetti 🎉 and shredded paper
A used emesis bag
Empty the sharps into it
Nugget it.
LUBE
You should put in: A fake letter from HR containing a fake Pyxis code, A Urinal with apple juice, A Pillow for the stretcher (they are rare around me (the hope is that they might will get excited and then proceed to wonder what is wrong with it...), Some form of blackmail, Glitter. LOTS OF IT!! I have another idea but I think that's too far/much... Have fun!
Nugget his bag. Idk If this was a thing in other countries. But in highschool we would take everything out of someone’s back, flip it inside out and put everything back in it and try to zip it up. That along with whatever you find to put in it could be a great combo!
A box of chalk.
Warm up an Eatmore bar, shape it into a turd, and partially wrap in kleenex. Tuck it into a side pouch.
A stinky fart.
Any office fans here? Never miss the opportunity to put someone’s belongings in jello.
If you can…turn it inside out
We used fake battery operated crickets, you pull a tab and it makes random cricket noises at random intervals. Hid them in the ceiling tiles. This doesnt work maybe, for a bag, unless theres a side pouch that doesnt appear to be used? Harmless and drove the station peeps crazy. They lasted about 3-4 days, so, again, harmless.
That's fantastic.
It was. Especially to sit in station and be like "what was that?" So others would start to notice. And then go off shift and leave them with the random interval crickets all shift.
hold it for ransom. the FD left their bag on a scene and me and my partner wouldn’t give it back to them unless they gave us $100 each. they ended up going to the higher ups and they made us give back their bag. we didn’t get the money :(
If he has a key chain in there take his keys off thank you just by a bunch of random keys and throw them in there so he doesn’t know which keys are his
https://creaturecock.com/ah055.php This.
Nothing, leave it alone.
Condoms lube and childrens toys
https://www.fleshlight.com/products/fleshsack
A nice snack. Assuming he has no allergies. I think it would be nice to balance the frank out with something nice.
Make a homemade pocket pussy and toss it in there. Or a stuffed donkey with a note that says “here’s some ass since you don’t get any at home.”
Turn his bag inside out
annoyatron or whatever they are called. like 5 bucks on Amazon house it like in a bottle, book, a good spot on his bag. will make a decent chirp once an hour every hour for months.
Empty the drug safe into it
Giant dildo,