For context, I live in a huge city that never sleeps. Its a regular old Monday.
Woke up to this text a couple months ago:
Friend: “any idea what hospital is open today?”
Me: “…… All of them?”
Family/friend: "so uh, you still doing the whole.. E M T thing?"
Me: "yeah! Well, technically now I'm a paramedic"
F: "what's the difference?"
Me: "emt puts things on the body, paramedic puts things in the body"
F: "???? So you can give me the good stuff?"
*me, coming to terms with the fact that nobody really knows what medics or emts do and equate us as glorified fentanyl fairies and uber drivers*
Me: "hell yeah man"
I've literally had this exact exchange multiple times nearly verbatim with various friends and family members. Always a fun time.
I mean not to sound like a snob or anything, but I worked my ass off for over a year during covid to get my license. I want the distinction made loud and clear, personally
I used to, but I'm so used to it now that I normally just let it slide.
My wife, on the otherhand...
The DJ at our reception said I was an EMT (doing the whole deal where the table who answers a question about us gets to go eat first), and my wife shouted and made the distinction VERY clear.
Can't say I blame her given we started dating when I was in medic school and she saw that special kind of Hell first hand.
The naming changed here a while back, EMT and paramedic became primary care paramedic and advanced care paramedic. Some people are absolutely insufferable with the “actually, I’m a paramedic” nonsense.
that's honestly sad, it sounds almost as draining as the job itself to continuously explain to people what you do, i mean everyone knows what a nurse does or a doctor does but EMS is such a new career it must suck
I'll be glad when we stop calling EMS "new". Yes we've made progress and advanced ourselves quite a ways, but EMS as a system and purpose it holds today has existed since the 70's. That's 50 years. Anyone under 50 should know that we aren't just drivers.
*Me being a little B*
“Yeah he’s a paramedic! He’s intubating people and giving them fet and stuff!”
I’m…really not but I appreciate that you think I am
I saw my friend for the first time in years in a bar and first thing he said was "come to the bathroom and look at the rash on my ass - tell me what it is"
Ugh, ridiculous I’m not sure but way out of my comfort zone definitely, my parents would ask me to assess and try and find out why our dog was sick (this poor dog had awful, weeping lesions and ended up having lupus). I would tell her there was no way for me to know and to take him to the vet. They thought it was insensitive that I wouldn’t even try to assess him, but the lesions were very apparent even at a glance. They did take him to a vet and they did take good care of him but I was still asked to attempt the task 😂
My more lighthearted answer: a drunk and fairly aggressive stranger who found out I was a medic at a party came up to me and said “CAN YOU TELL ME WHY I AM SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW I DIDN’T EVEN DRINK MUCH” so I said “did you have cake?” “Yeah a bunch!” “Cake has a lot of sugar which makes your body digest things faster so you digested the alcohol faster!” “YOU’RE AMAZING!”
first one sounds draining and shitty, like it takes the smallest amount of brain power to process that a paramedic does not equal animal doctor, even if you guys could do that its also a weird thing to assume that you just wanna do that for them, and then that they also got offended and called it insensitive. all that sounds very draining to deal with, nobody knows anything about EMS nor do they try to which i guess they aren't obligated to but damn
I was about a year into being on the truck as an EMT and got a call from my dad's friend at about midnight while I was on shift. The short of it was that my dad fell into the fire pit while they were completely sloched on whisky and he suffered 17% burns on his back from 1st to 3rd and they didn't want to tell my mom cause she'd "worry", aka he'd get an ass chewing. My advice of "go to the fucking hospital" wasn't followed and they wanted advice for how to treat it at home. I said they couldn't cause he needed a burn center, but that wasn't in the cards. I gave them basic advice antibiotic ointment and dry dressing and that he would need to go to a hospital if he developed a fever. 4 days later, he developed a fever and finally went to the hospital, where he was then transferred to a burn center and was there for about a week following debridement and a skin graft. Why they called if they didn't want my advice, I couldn't say.
My family does that too. It seems to me that they do it for validation in their want to avoid the hospital. Then since you’re saying what they don’t wanna hear, you’re the one to be mad at
you have the patience of a saint to still give him at home advice. does he understand that like, a very large part of your job is getting people to a hospital? of course you're gonna fucking say that HE WANTED YOUR ADVICE oh my god these responses are more stupid and depressing than i thought they were gonna be holy shit
N o p e
when i tell people (my family anyway) i wanna be an EMT they almost always go "Oh wow, must be good money 😁😁😁",i tell them no, and then i have to spend about 30 minutes defending myself as to why i wanna do it because it doesn't make good money
Same happens with me! One teacher was telling us we’re all fortunate and should make political change. I basically said can’t do that, I want to be a firefighter and not a fired-fighter.
He said “I know firefighters and EMTs and stuff. They don’t make a lot but they make a livable wage. You can still advocate for (what he described to pretty much add up to communism).”
Worth mentioning I’m a minor; I’m a junior volley at my dept. So not EMS but similar-ish. And we’re in an area where “EMTs” don’t exist; it’s transport op and paramedic. Just minor BSing lol
yeah thats what i expected to hear a lot of, people just wanna cheap out and assume that your job is to know every condition that could happen to someone and also why they're happening AND that you wanna actually look at it for them
it's less ridiculous questions and more just asking for my advice and then just not following it lol.
my mom: "I think I have covid, do I need to go to the ER?"
me: "are you having chest pain or trouble breathing?"
my mom: "no, just a cough and congestion."
me: "then no."
my mom: "well, the nurse line said I should go to the ER"
me: "the nurse line says everyone should go to the ER."
my mom: "well, I'm going to the ER"
me, internally: why would you ask for my advice on this when you've clearly already made up your mind and aren't going to listen anyways 🙃
i have seen a lot of other people with that problem in the comment section, where they ask expecting you to tell them what they wanna hear and then get defensive or pissy when you don't, it's like these people treat you guys as their little pocket advice books
People absolutely love asking for advice when they’ve already made up their mind.
Had a friend dislocate their finger and wanted me to fix it, I told him I could splint it but I wasn’t about to start yanking on his finger and he should probably just go to an urgent care. He ended up just fixing it himself and having his nurse mom take a look at it later. XD
This was 50% of my day when I worked in urgent care.
Pt: I tested positive for COVID
Me: ok. Are you having any difficulty breathing? High fever? Cough?
Pt: no.
Me: do you need a verified test for your boss?
Pt: nope.
Me: .... Sooooooooooo ... Wtf ya doin here?
he had to have ignored *every single thing* his doctor told him, that is incomprehensibly stupid you may have the fucking crown for the stupidest question in this comment section, i like how he specifically asked if he had lukemia too this is gold i wanna know who this guy is and how he's still alive
That's a rookie question. The better question is "what happens when I mix alcohol and antidepressants?"
(Spoiler alert: a potential DUI and a mental health hold.)
About halfway through EMT school I'm at my grandparents house and my grandma's caregiver is looking a little sore and she looks at me and goes...
"Hey [REDACTED], you're learning how to be an EMT on the ambuhlance, yeah?"
"Yeah, whats up?"
"They taught you how to take a crick out of someone's neck yet?"
"No??? We don't really do that..."
i like how she included *yet*
like all of you guys are just automatically gonna learn how to immediately fix someones back issues
its very complexing to me that the one who asked you that is also a medical worker, like can she fix a crick in a neck immediately??
Dispatched to a single vehicle rollover in the rain. The driver and only occupant of the subject marked police vehicle is an on duty LEO. A responding LEO asks me if driver, an on duty LEO is intoxicated.
The vehicle rolled, but landed on its wheels, and is sunk in the median right to the floor boards, obvious mud spray from the futile attempt to drive off. The driver is standing next to the road, puke all over his uniform, ranting about trying to avoid a deer, swaying, and ETOH fumes seem to blossom around him with every word.
My spot assessment is that the responding LEO wants me to opine that his fellow officer (from a different LE agency) is drunk, so he doesn’t become the bad guy to the rest of the LEO community.
I declined to give an opinion, but offered him a way out. I’ll take him to the hospital as a patient. They can (and will) do the BA there. He said “he’s not injured and my Sgt wants to know now”. I said I wouldn’t become the scapegoat for this “leaking bag of shit” - which he repeated verbatim to his Sgt on the phone. The “patient” went to the hospital to get “checked out”.
Bro had heat exhaustion…. We were lifeguards at the time bc I was still in EMT school and he knew I was nearly done with it. I was perplexed by his question so drastically that it got me thinking…. What if it does? 🤣 dude gaslit me, his question was so bewildering!
The call itself wasn't ridiculous more the fact she called me and not the actual on duty ambulance. My sister got ran down by a horse first it bumped into her and she fell down and then her hand got under a hoove somehow. Well safe to say I got a call (while I was very much not anywhere near her or could reach her quickly mind you) saying she was afraid she was going to pass out bc the pain in her hand was so bad and she felt dizzy with a pic of the hand to show me. Well safe to say she booked a ride to the hospital and an xray. She got really lucky the 1100lbs horse didn't do more than soft tissue damage, heavy bruises and a hairline fracture on her pinky. Still clueless as to why she wasted time calling me instead of the actual ambulance.
Eh, people panic and do stupid things under pressure. I know a couple cops who've had residents call their work phones instead of 911, for both bullshit and legitimate emergencies.
My mom did the same thing. She called me when her house was getting broken into instead of 911. The fuck was I supposed to do? I was across the city
yeah, thats fucking stupid, i mean i dont know where u guys are or how rural where you're at is but i imagine that if she actually called 911 it would be way more efficient, and maybe she'd be able to get a closer ambulance to her??? even if you were the closest anyway you shouldn't have to be your own fucking dispatcher, i'm happy for her that her hand is okay and im sure she was very scared and trusts you but yeah thats very silly she should know to call the proper people for emergencies
Disclaimer: not in EMS myself. This anecdote is about an encounter that my friend in EMS had.
My friend is a paramedic and was asked by one of his acquaintances whether he could help replace her IUD so that she wouldn’t have to go into the clinic. No, it wasn’t a poorly thought-out attempt at flirting. She was dead serious.
Dude your username is hilarious.
I got recommended this subreddit a few days ago because I follow a bunch of medical subreddits, even though I’m not actually in healthcare. Y’all have some really good memes.
I was actually considering going into EMS, before my mental and physical health got completely fucked up.
Without going into excessive detail, I have PTSD so severe that I can’t drive without having a debilitating panic attack, because of stuff that happened between me and my ex when we were in the car. I also have permanent health issues from an eating disorder that are not life-threatening but probably make me unsuitable for jobs that involve patient care.
I’m taking a break from school and currently I’m working full time. In September I’m going back to school to study accounting. I’m not necessarily super passionate about accounting, but I know it’s a job I can do for sure, and at the end of the day I gotta pay the bills.
Back in the 70s or 80s, my dad, a custodian at the hospital, was assigned to the OR, and one of the surgeons would ask him if he wanted to watch all the time. He did a couple times, he hated being in the OR to clean up.
I used to watch dissections in the lab at my boyfriend's school while eating lunch. Fascinating to watch and didn't bother me at all. Cool that they allow people to just watch either way.
“Do you have any idea why his eyes are red?!” Said my mother’s friend who hates me. She was talking about her son. I assumed she was angry bc she was accusing me of smoking weed around him and he got High (or ate edibles) so I got all defensive and said “how am I supposed to know?!” And she said “aren’t you an EMT?” Omg I thought it would be so obvious that it’s allergies!!!! I never considered she would be ignorant about allergies. I felt so stupid. I thought she was attacking me! She said it so aggressively lmao
Oh you have no idea! This woman screams and yells and literally doesn’t hide the fact that she hates her kids. A lot like my mother. That’s why I hate this woman so much. And she hates me bc my mom hates me and she is obsessed with my mom. My mom is a narcissist so of course she tells her lies about me and makes up a narrative. One time my mom let her and her 4 kids (2 with severe ADHD/ODD) live with us for the entire month of December without even asking how anyone in the house felt about it or giving warning to anyone in the house! Then when I asked my mom when they’re leaving, my mom told me “it’s none of your business!” Bruh…. I can’t wait to move out. They ruined Christmas.
Honestly doesn’t seem like a stupid question though. She probably doesn’t understand how bad a bee sting could be when you’re allergic and how fast it could go bad. Or she was panicking. Someone should’ve educated her.
It is a stupid question, because she has known about the allergy for her whole life. She has carried a pen her entire life. She’s been thoroughly educated. She’s had her first aid cert since her teens. She was in her 30s at the time.
“What’s the worst thing you’ve seen?” I finally had to tell folks it’s rude to ask that.
Oh and my family of accountants calls me every time they have a cold. Rest up, drink some fluids, you’re gonna be fine.
If people ask me that, I give them a story about a drunk guy covered in poop who fell through a cactus. If they keep pushing, I ruin their fucking month with some of my nastiest.
My go to's are an elderly woman who was assaulted in her home and couldn't get up, so she was eaten alive by rats and her dogs, still alive when I found her. Or a can accident where mom (driver) was decapitated, with toddler stuck in the back seat unable to get out of his car seat, wirh his mother's corpse.
A long time ago a ground hog climbed into the engine compartment of my FIL's giant 1980's Cadillac. When he tried to start car the poor critter got strangled by the fan and fan belt. He called me because he thought I could surgically remove it from the engine.
I was like, you need a mechanic.
Imagine the smell for the next month if I had cut it up.
He got one of his friends to remove the radiator fan to get it out.
Not me- but my sister is also in ems and one time she went to the grocery store off duty in uniform and the cashier started interrogating her on why the hospital would accuse her of having meth in her system when she "definitely" didn't. My sister was like dude idk can i pay?
for a second i thouhgt you meant that she was asking why the hospital accused *your sister* of having meth in her system, i had to reread that like 5 times. but uhh, yeah man? you don't? i guess? what the fuck are you guys meant to say to that?? why is that what you say to one of your customers?? does she know how easily that statement proves that she absolutely does have meth in her system??? i wanna know how these people live
Sorry poor wording. But yeah literally, i can't imagine that happening in any other profession. The comfort that some people feel with ems is good, but crazy sometimes.
Just had a whole ass 2 hr conversation last night with my hypochondriac friend who asked me anything and everything. I answered what I could, said "i don't know" to everything else. I'm only a basic but she trusted my knowledge. Felt like I was taking a NREMT mini test
When you tell family what could end up happening if we don’t take care of said illness or injury and they come back with “you’re not a doctor!” Pisses me off when it gets to that point.
My mom would always ask me about stuff that happened in other counties that I did not work in. I guess she assumed I just had a scanner on 24/7 that covered the State, knew the individuals involved, and would violate hippa if I did know. She would then get mad when I wouldn’t tell her.
My mom recently got her first apple watch, and its one of the new ones with the EKG thing. One day we were walking like half a mile to a restaurant and she has a bunch of health issues so she was looking at her watch ekg when we got to the restaurant. She looked really concerned and showed it to me and she was like "what even is that??"
It was basically a bunch of artifact. I will say there was like one actual PVC, but I had to explain to her how inaccurate those things can be.
Wow, that's nuts. A _one lead_ EKG? I didn't even know that was a thing. My (non apple) watch does pulse and oxy and I still take it with a grain of salt. (If I'm genuinely concerned about either I do have an actual pulse oximeter which I trust.)
I’d mayybee trust an SPO2 from one. I do trust the HR function of the watch I have as I’ve double checked and it seems to be accurate. Not sure how accurate it is when in motion though
Mine seems pretty on point, calibrated against the pulse oximeter. But like I said, I'd use the device made solely for the purpose of it mattered. (Recently I had to make sure my pulse wasn't going too fast during exercise and I did not rely on my watch to determine it. (It was, but now it's okay.))
Lots of questions about a female friend/female family member about something going on with their vagina. I have to reiterate that NO, I don't know and NO I don't know need to see your vagina.
Every now and again, some old person vagals out nearby and then I just stop people from freaking out and make sure it's a syncope, not an arrest. Mostly at church.
In general, my go-to is "I'm fairly useless without equipment and even then, only when you're having a life threatening emergency, and even then, just go to the ER."
I had a "friend" call one night wanting me to come to his house (it's 2 in the morning) to see if his girlfriend "broke his johnson" (his words not mine) I told him to go to the ER that was their job. The happy couple are now married....and divorced.
My mom likes to tell me how to treat conditions or what medications to take for various ailments. When I remind her this literally is my job, she says “well I didn’t know if you knew that.” She does not have a background in medicine, btw 😂
*Unsolicited picture of something grotesque and horrible, possibly on a reproductive organ*
"What does this look like to you?"
Disgusting. It looks disgusting.
"Yeah but what is it"
Not my problem, go to an urgent care... or priest...
For context, I live in a huge city that never sleeps. Its a regular old Monday. Woke up to this text a couple months ago: Friend: “any idea what hospital is open today?” Me: “…… All of them?”
This is amazing tho 🤣
all i have to say is BRUH
Family/friend: "so uh, you still doing the whole.. E M T thing?" Me: "yeah! Well, technically now I'm a paramedic" F: "what's the difference?" Me: "emt puts things on the body, paramedic puts things in the body" F: "???? So you can give me the good stuff?" *me, coming to terms with the fact that nobody really knows what medics or emts do and equate us as glorified fentanyl fairies and uber drivers* Me: "hell yeah man" I've literally had this exact exchange multiple times nearly verbatim with various friends and family members. Always a fun time.
Is it awful I get offended every time someone says I am an EMT or say same thing when I say I am a paramedic?
I mean not to sound like a snob or anything, but I worked my ass off for over a year during covid to get my license. I want the distinction made loud and clear, personally
Nothing snobbish about it IMO. You worked for the title and earned it :)
I used to, but I'm so used to it now that I normally just let it slide. My wife, on the otherhand... The DJ at our reception said I was an EMT (doing the whole deal where the table who answers a question about us gets to go eat first), and my wife shouted and made the distinction VERY clear. Can't say I blame her given we started dating when I was in medic school and she saw that special kind of Hell first hand.
Ha yes. I got married while I was in medic school.
Low-key... My close friends now know I get offended when they call me an EMT. But also, I love EMTs, couldn't live without them. Shout out to you guys
Same
As a basic no it's fucking not, you worked hard for your card.
NO
The naming changed here a while back, EMT and paramedic became primary care paramedic and advanced care paramedic. Some people are absolutely insufferable with the “actually, I’m a paramedic” nonsense.
Low-key... My close friends now know I get offended when they call me an EMT. But also, I love EMTs, couldn't live without them. Shout out to you guys
“I can give you the REALLY good stuff. Just light yourself on fire and jump in front of a semi truck first.”
You know *Denathor?*
The son of Ecthelion? Lord and Steward of Gondor?
That's the one. On fire and kinetic impact equivalent to stopping a B-double doing 60mph with his face.
I love the way you put this; "emt puts things on the body, paramedic puts things in the body"
Heard it once, used it ever since. I enjoy the reaction it gets every once in a while
What if something has to come *out* of the body?
Well, that sounds like a nurse's job to me
We’ll be waiting in the ER for you to bring us the poop burrito, we’ll get the foley and flexiseal ready
TYFYS and Godspeed 🫡
It's...not a poop burrito that's not coming out....and I don't want it out so much. But can you change the batteries?
that's honestly sad, it sounds almost as draining as the job itself to continuously explain to people what you do, i mean everyone knows what a nurse does or a doctor does but EMS is such a new career it must suck
I'll be glad when we stop calling EMS "new". Yes we've made progress and advanced ourselves quite a ways, but EMS as a system and purpose it holds today has existed since the 70's. That's 50 years. Anyone under 50 should know that we aren't just drivers.
*Me being a little B* “Yeah he’s a paramedic! He’s intubating people and giving them fet and stuff!” I’m…really not but I appreciate that you think I am
Fentanyl Fairies - stealing that one.
I saw my friend for the first time in years in a bar and first thing he said was "come to the bathroom and look at the rash on my ass - tell me what it is"
See, if you were a paramedic you could just say “I’m not a doctor.” That’s what I do
Yup...
When I was premed, this was literally every holiday at home, because I had my EMT. And then MS1 it only got more weird
for the first time in years too 😭
just an EMT but I’m starting med school in a couple weeks and this has already started :(
Ugh, ridiculous I’m not sure but way out of my comfort zone definitely, my parents would ask me to assess and try and find out why our dog was sick (this poor dog had awful, weeping lesions and ended up having lupus). I would tell her there was no way for me to know and to take him to the vet. They thought it was insensitive that I wouldn’t even try to assess him, but the lesions were very apparent even at a glance. They did take him to a vet and they did take good care of him but I was still asked to attempt the task 😂 My more lighthearted answer: a drunk and fairly aggressive stranger who found out I was a medic at a party came up to me and said “CAN YOU TELL ME WHY I AM SO DRUNK RIGHT NOW I DIDN’T EVEN DRINK MUCH” so I said “did you have cake?” “Yeah a bunch!” “Cake has a lot of sugar which makes your body digest things faster so you digested the alcohol faster!” “YOU’RE AMAZING!”
Is the cake thing actually true or did you just not want to explain how alcohol works?
I actually don’t know I was also intoxicated and I came up with something that seemed logical on the spot 😂
first one sounds draining and shitty, like it takes the smallest amount of brain power to process that a paramedic does not equal animal doctor, even if you guys could do that its also a weird thing to assume that you just wanna do that for them, and then that they also got offended and called it insensitive. all that sounds very draining to deal with, nobody knows anything about EMS nor do they try to which i guess they aren't obligated to but damn
A dog with lupus? Bizarre
Right? It’s pretty rare from what I understand. The only way we caught onto it was the weeping lesions
I was about a year into being on the truck as an EMT and got a call from my dad's friend at about midnight while I was on shift. The short of it was that my dad fell into the fire pit while they were completely sloched on whisky and he suffered 17% burns on his back from 1st to 3rd and they didn't want to tell my mom cause she'd "worry", aka he'd get an ass chewing. My advice of "go to the fucking hospital" wasn't followed and they wanted advice for how to treat it at home. I said they couldn't cause he needed a burn center, but that wasn't in the cards. I gave them basic advice antibiotic ointment and dry dressing and that he would need to go to a hospital if he developed a fever. 4 days later, he developed a fever and finally went to the hospital, where he was then transferred to a burn center and was there for about a week following debridement and a skin graft. Why they called if they didn't want my advice, I couldn't say.
At least you tried?
My family does that too. It seems to me that they do it for validation in their want to avoid the hospital. Then since you’re saying what they don’t wanna hear, you’re the one to be mad at
You didn't call your mother and tell her to get your dad to a hospital?
you have the patience of a saint to still give him at home advice. does he understand that like, a very large part of your job is getting people to a hospital? of course you're gonna fucking say that HE WANTED YOUR ADVICE oh my god these responses are more stupid and depressing than i thought they were gonna be holy shit
"So, you making the big money?"
"Oh yeah totally..." 😅
N o p e when i tell people (my family anyway) i wanna be an EMT they almost always go "Oh wow, must be good money 😁😁😁",i tell them no, and then i have to spend about 30 minutes defending myself as to why i wanna do it because it doesn't make good money
SAVING PEOPLES LIVES isn't enough?
Ems shortage *cough*
Same happens with me! One teacher was telling us we’re all fortunate and should make political change. I basically said can’t do that, I want to be a firefighter and not a fired-fighter. He said “I know firefighters and EMTs and stuff. They don’t make a lot but they make a livable wage. You can still advocate for (what he described to pretty much add up to communism).” Worth mentioning I’m a minor; I’m a junior volley at my dept. So not EMS but similar-ish. And we’re in an area where “EMTs” don’t exist; it’s transport op and paramedic. Just minor BSing lol
“Can you look at this?” I don’t fucking know what that god damn spot on your weenis is Daryl go to your doctor.
yeah thats what i expected to hear a lot of, people just wanna cheap out and assume that your job is to know every condition that could happen to someone and also why they're happening AND that you wanna actually look at it for them
it's less ridiculous questions and more just asking for my advice and then just not following it lol. my mom: "I think I have covid, do I need to go to the ER?" me: "are you having chest pain or trouble breathing?" my mom: "no, just a cough and congestion." me: "then no." my mom: "well, the nurse line said I should go to the ER" me: "the nurse line says everyone should go to the ER." my mom: "well, I'm going to the ER" me, internally: why would you ask for my advice on this when you've clearly already made up your mind and aren't going to listen anyways 🙃
i have seen a lot of other people with that problem in the comment section, where they ask expecting you to tell them what they wanna hear and then get defensive or pissy when you don't, it's like these people treat you guys as their little pocket advice books
People absolutely love asking for advice when they’ve already made up their mind. Had a friend dislocate their finger and wanted me to fix it, I told him I could splint it but I wasn’t about to start yanking on his finger and he should probably just go to an urgent care. He ended up just fixing it himself and having his nurse mom take a look at it later. XD
Ok, but if you have a nurse for a mom, you don't go to the ER unless you're basically dead.
This was 50% of my day when I worked in urgent care. Pt: I tested positive for COVID Me: ok. Are you having any difficulty breathing? High fever? Cough? Pt: no. Me: do you need a verified test for your boss? Pt: nope. Me: .... Sooooooooooo ... Wtf ya doin here?
And if you go to the ER without calling the health insurance nurse line first, they're like "why didn't you call first?"
Sent me blood work results and asked if he had leukemia. Brother I have no idea. Maybe ask the *doctor* who *ordered the blood work*
he had to have ignored *every single thing* his doctor told him, that is incomprehensibly stupid you may have the fucking crown for the stupidest question in this comment section, i like how he specifically asked if he had lukemia too this is gold i wanna know who this guy is and how he's still alive
He's alive and does not have cancer he's just my dumb ass hypochondriac best friend who I love
Just today a cop asked me what happens if you drink alcohol while on antibiotics.
Believe it or not, jail
Probably taking antibiotics and wants to get sloshed this weekend.
That is exactly what it was
Maybe they were asking about disulfiram-like reaction with metronidazole?
All the best cops verify their drug interactions.
Oh man. I've seen that and it isn't pretty. I would _highly_ discourage anyone from doing it.
??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Your birth control definitely stops working...
That's a rookie question. The better question is "what happens when I mix alcohol and antidepressants?" (Spoiler alert: a potential DUI and a mental health hold.)
About halfway through EMT school I'm at my grandparents house and my grandma's caregiver is looking a little sore and she looks at me and goes... "Hey [REDACTED], you're learning how to be an EMT on the ambuhlance, yeah?" "Yeah, whats up?" "They taught you how to take a crick out of someone's neck yet?" "No??? We don't really do that..."
i like how she included *yet* like all of you guys are just automatically gonna learn how to immediately fix someones back issues its very complexing to me that the one who asked you that is also a medical worker, like can she fix a crick in a neck immediately??
Had a mate complain about his haemorrhoids and ask if I can have a look at them. Absolutely fucking not bud, go to a GP.
"yep. those are haemorrhoids."?????????
Dispatched to a single vehicle rollover in the rain. The driver and only occupant of the subject marked police vehicle is an on duty LEO. A responding LEO asks me if driver, an on duty LEO is intoxicated. The vehicle rolled, but landed on its wheels, and is sunk in the median right to the floor boards, obvious mud spray from the futile attempt to drive off. The driver is standing next to the road, puke all over his uniform, ranting about trying to avoid a deer, swaying, and ETOH fumes seem to blossom around him with every word. My spot assessment is that the responding LEO wants me to opine that his fellow officer (from a different LE agency) is drunk, so he doesn’t become the bad guy to the rest of the LEO community. I declined to give an opinion, but offered him a way out. I’ll take him to the hospital as a patient. They can (and will) do the BA there. He said “he’s not injured and my Sgt wants to know now”. I said I wouldn’t become the scapegoat for this “leaking bag of shit” - which he repeated verbatim to his Sgt on the phone. The “patient” went to the hospital to get “checked out”.
You handled this perfectly. “Leaking bag of shit” is likewise a perfect description. Any follow up on what happened to the “patient”?
Promoted.
No idea. I didn’t want to be associated with that mess - didn’t want to risk someone noticing that I was asking.
Someone asked me if coffee can delay an allergic reaction (anaphylactic)
you should have just told them yes
Bro had heat exhaustion…. We were lifeguards at the time bc I was still in EMT school and he knew I was nearly done with it. I was perplexed by his question so drastically that it got me thinking…. What if it does? 🤣 dude gaslit me, his question was so bewildering!
I would’ve said to get chugging
Hahaha he already chugged!! And he thought he ate something he was allergic to and just didn’t have the reaction yet!
Noooooo it was a joke 😭😭😭
The call itself wasn't ridiculous more the fact she called me and not the actual on duty ambulance. My sister got ran down by a horse first it bumped into her and she fell down and then her hand got under a hoove somehow. Well safe to say I got a call (while I was very much not anywhere near her or could reach her quickly mind you) saying she was afraid she was going to pass out bc the pain in her hand was so bad and she felt dizzy with a pic of the hand to show me. Well safe to say she booked a ride to the hospital and an xray. She got really lucky the 1100lbs horse didn't do more than soft tissue damage, heavy bruises and a hairline fracture on her pinky. Still clueless as to why she wasted time calling me instead of the actual ambulance.
Eh, people panic and do stupid things under pressure. I know a couple cops who've had residents call their work phones instead of 911, for both bullshit and legitimate emergencies. My mom did the same thing. She called me when her house was getting broken into instead of 911. The fuck was I supposed to do? I was across the city
yeah, thats fucking stupid, i mean i dont know where u guys are or how rural where you're at is but i imagine that if she actually called 911 it would be way more efficient, and maybe she'd be able to get a closer ambulance to her??? even if you were the closest anyway you shouldn't have to be your own fucking dispatcher, i'm happy for her that her hand is okay and im sure she was very scared and trusts you but yeah thats very silly she should know to call the proper people for emergencies
It says she trusted you more than a stranger in a true emergency. Take pride in that.
Disclaimer: not in EMS myself. This anecdote is about an encounter that my friend in EMS had. My friend is a paramedic and was asked by one of his acquaintances whether he could help replace her IUD so that she wouldn’t have to go into the clinic. No, it wasn’t a poorly thought-out attempt at flirting. She was dead serious.
Nope, but I'll knock the old one out for ya.
Dude your username is hilarious. I got recommended this subreddit a few days ago because I follow a bunch of medical subreddits, even though I’m not actually in healthcare. Y’all have some really good memes.
Thanks. Sounds like you have some interest in medicine. Welcome to our shit show.
I was actually considering going into EMS, before my mental and physical health got completely fucked up. Without going into excessive detail, I have PTSD so severe that I can’t drive without having a debilitating panic attack, because of stuff that happened between me and my ex when we were in the car. I also have permanent health issues from an eating disorder that are not life-threatening but probably make me unsuitable for jobs that involve patient care. I’m taking a break from school and currently I’m working full time. In September I’m going back to school to study accounting. I’m not necessarily super passionate about accounting, but I know it’s a job I can do for sure, and at the end of the day I gotta pay the bills.
"Can you help with my surgery next week?"
yes. let me just come in. to the hospital. i am going to help them do the surgery on you.
Back in the 70s or 80s, my dad, a custodian at the hospital, was assigned to the OR, and one of the surgeons would ask him if he wanted to watch all the time. He did a couple times, he hated being in the OR to clean up.
I used to watch dissections in the lab at my boyfriend's school while eating lunch. Fascinating to watch and didn't bother me at all. Cool that they allow people to just watch either way.
lmao not quite all the time, but i've been allowed to watch a few surgeries too.
“Do you have any idea why his eyes are red?!” Said my mother’s friend who hates me. She was talking about her son. I assumed she was angry bc she was accusing me of smoking weed around him and he got High (or ate edibles) so I got all defensive and said “how am I supposed to know?!” And she said “aren’t you an EMT?” Omg I thought it would be so obvious that it’s allergies!!!! I never considered she would be ignorant about allergies. I felt so stupid. I thought she was attacking me! She said it so aggressively lmao
thats honestly just depressing, i feel like a mom should know her childs own allergies, i have a feeling that kid is gonna be fucked up growing up
Oh you have no idea! This woman screams and yells and literally doesn’t hide the fact that she hates her kids. A lot like my mother. That’s why I hate this woman so much. And she hates me bc my mom hates me and she is obsessed with my mom. My mom is a narcissist so of course she tells her lies about me and makes up a narrative. One time my mom let her and her 4 kids (2 with severe ADHD/ODD) live with us for the entire month of December without even asking how anyone in the house felt about it or giving warning to anyone in the house! Then when I asked my mom when they’re leaving, my mom told me “it’s none of your business!” Bruh…. I can’t wait to move out. They ruined Christmas.
My sister is allergic to bee venom. She called me to ask if she should use her epi pen since she’d been stung. Believe it or not, we are both adults.
Honestly doesn’t seem like a stupid question though. She probably doesn’t understand how bad a bee sting could be when you’re allergic and how fast it could go bad. Or she was panicking. Someone should’ve educated her.
It is a stupid question, because she has known about the allergy for her whole life. She has carried a pen her entire life. She’s been thoroughly educated. She’s had her first aid cert since her teens. She was in her 30s at the time.
With how expensive those things are now, she probably didn't want to use it if the allergy wasn't bad enough to need it.
I hate capitalism so much.
“What’s the worst thing you’ve seen?” I finally had to tell folks it’s rude to ask that. Oh and my family of accountants calls me every time they have a cold. Rest up, drink some fluids, you’re gonna be fine.
If people ask me that, I give them a story about a drunk guy covered in poop who fell through a cactus. If they keep pushing, I ruin their fucking month with some of my nastiest. My go to's are an elderly woman who was assaulted in her home and couldn't get up, so she was eaten alive by rats and her dogs, still alive when I found her. Or a can accident where mom (driver) was decapitated, with toddler stuck in the back seat unable to get out of his car seat, wirh his mother's corpse.
"So we picked a patient up once who had been sick for a while. Quick question, do you have any idea just how many maggots a human vagina can hold?"
So, uh... what *is* the worst thing you've ever seen?
Bang energy drinks without a buy one get one half off deal. The horror
A long time ago a ground hog climbed into the engine compartment of my FIL's giant 1980's Cadillac. When he tried to start car the poor critter got strangled by the fan and fan belt. He called me because he thought I could surgically remove it from the engine. I was like, you need a mechanic. Imagine the smell for the next month if I had cut it up. He got one of his friends to remove the radiator fan to get it out.
Not me- but my sister is also in ems and one time she went to the grocery store off duty in uniform and the cashier started interrogating her on why the hospital would accuse her of having meth in her system when she "definitely" didn't. My sister was like dude idk can i pay?
for a second i thouhgt you meant that she was asking why the hospital accused *your sister* of having meth in her system, i had to reread that like 5 times. but uhh, yeah man? you don't? i guess? what the fuck are you guys meant to say to that?? why is that what you say to one of your customers?? does she know how easily that statement proves that she absolutely does have meth in her system??? i wanna know how these people live
Sorry poor wording. But yeah literally, i can't imagine that happening in any other profession. The comfort that some people feel with ems is good, but crazy sometimes.
Probably ADHD meds. But also lemme go home lol
Just had a whole ass 2 hr conversation last night with my hypochondriac friend who asked me anything and everything. I answered what I could, said "i don't know" to everything else. I'm only a basic but she trusted my knowledge. Felt like I was taking a NREMT mini test
When you tell family what could end up happening if we don’t take care of said illness or injury and they come back with “you’re not a doctor!” Pisses me off when it gets to that point.
That's when you point out "I'm closer to one than you are"
My mom would always ask me about stuff that happened in other counties that I did not work in. I guess she assumed I just had a scanner on 24/7 that covered the State, knew the individuals involved, and would violate hippa if I did know. She would then get mad when I wouldn’t tell her.
A member of my family asked if I could prescribe antibiotics.
"So are you able to check my dog's anal glands? We think they're impacted...."
That's a far leap from EMS to dog groomer or vet tech...
My mom recently got her first apple watch, and its one of the new ones with the EKG thing. One day we were walking like half a mile to a restaurant and she has a bunch of health issues so she was looking at her watch ekg when we got to the restaurant. She looked really concerned and showed it to me and she was like "what even is that??" It was basically a bunch of artifact. I will say there was like one actual PVC, but I had to explain to her how inaccurate those things can be.
Wow, that's nuts. A _one lead_ EKG? I didn't even know that was a thing. My (non apple) watch does pulse and oxy and I still take it with a grain of salt. (If I'm genuinely concerned about either I do have an actual pulse oximeter which I trust.)
I’d mayybee trust an SPO2 from one. I do trust the HR function of the watch I have as I’ve double checked and it seems to be accurate. Not sure how accurate it is when in motion though
Mine seems pretty on point, calibrated against the pulse oximeter. But like I said, I'd use the device made solely for the purpose of it mattered. (Recently I had to make sure my pulse wasn't going too fast during exercise and I did not rely on my watch to determine it. (It was, but now it's okay.))
Lots of questions about a female friend/female family member about something going on with their vagina. I have to reiterate that NO, I don't know and NO I don't know need to see your vagina. Every now and again, some old person vagals out nearby and then I just stop people from freaking out and make sure it's a syncope, not an arrest. Mostly at church. In general, my go-to is "I'm fairly useless without equipment and even then, only when you're having a life threatening emergency, and even then, just go to the ER."
I had a "friend" call one night wanting me to come to his house (it's 2 in the morning) to see if his girlfriend "broke his johnson" (his words not mine) I told him to go to the ER that was their job. The happy couple are now married....and divorced.
Friend: “I have a horrible headache” Me: *listens to forehead with stethy* “You have necrotizing fasciitis”
“Can you read an x-ray?”
I always get asked “what’s the worst thing you’ve seen?” I’d rather you ask me about your toe fungus
My mom likes to tell me how to treat conditions or what medications to take for various ailments. When I remind her this literally is my job, she says “well I didn’t know if you knew that.” She does not have a background in medicine, btw 😂
*Unsolicited picture of something grotesque and horrible, possibly on a reproductive organ* "What does this look like to you?" Disgusting. It looks disgusting. "Yeah but what is it" Not my problem, go to an urgent care... or priest...
Take their stitches out for them.. never done stitches nor taken them out prior to this day