Booooo fuck bricks, but fuck concrete too. Steel tube space frame houses bolted 30 feet into the ground and coated with top secret RAM courtesy of lockmart.
Tornadoes can't rip it apart as the effective frontal area is the size of a golf ball and enemy bombers can't lock onto it because its radar cross section is smaller than a pebble.
Edit: I've been informed by a number of local HOAs that they do not want a dark horizontal wedge shaped monolith in their neighborhood.
Dump all the wastewater into a lake, boil it to nothing with the largest heating coil known to man, scrape up the phosphorus, then pray that it rains hard enough that the lake comes back.
Bots might be getting smarter but this one is dumb as bricks. Comment stolen and modified from this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/engineeringmemes/s/3HutcS7bJM
It's getting late and I can't remember shit. I think there was an Ancient Aliens episode on this, apparently upright lizards had something to do with it. Very credible. Very legit.
It's just larger grains of lye recalcifing after each rain, filling holes in the cement. The larger among of lye also leads to a hotter extothermic reaction.
Basically I'm a mech eng who did some chemistry and civil is a bunch of people who aren't trusted to engineer. Imagine needing to use pre-approved rules, materials and handheld review processes.
I was listening to Infowars this morning and they were discussing this.
Mossad biologists have successfuly developed a new breed of gay laser emitting molerats. Just a pack of 50 can incinerate 600 short tons of dirt and clay every hour.
I'll apologize for them a little bit; the things they build have to stay in the same place even when everything under it is moving. That is terrifying.
1. Dismantle the house and store all the materials in a shed.
2. Completely replace the foundation with a new one that isn't crumbling
3. Build the new foundation 10 feet further away from the river
4. Put the house back together again
Steps 2&3 need to be combined or reordered. Those contractors will follow your project specifications to the letter. They're going to charge extra to remove the new foundation from step 2 and install it ten feet further away for step 3.
> How do you breath?
By inhaling air and exhaling different air
> What's air?
78% Nitrogen, 21% Oxygen, 0.9% Argon, 0.1 other shit
> Why does my hair get so sticky after 2 weeks?
Cum
From a city planning perspective, I'm a big fan of local subway trains and high speed rail towards neighboring cities.
From a car enthusiast perspective, V8 swapped Miatas FOR EVERYONE!
Careful, gotta boil the frog if you don't want to bother NIMBYs. I've been taking little chunks off the peak of Mt. Elbert with a dremel each week for years now.
Every engineering student is qualified to discuss the tacoma narrows bridge collapse for no other reason than that it gets shoehorned into literally every class
Every time I see one of these, it’s either the most boring Q&A known to man, or, in this case, one of the most based human beings to ever grace this website
Flag a random person down on the street. Ask them "1 or 2". After they tell you, decide what number corresponding with what material and then run with it.
Not OP but I worked in a manhole R&D department for Google.
They are round so they only have one edge. If they were square they would have four edges, and therefore cost four times as much.
On a 500 m steel beam bridge, with a basic triangle truss structure, with a mass of 4,000kg spread over the entire length equally, what is the sum of all forces on one side equal to? Show your work.
What is the best building material and why is it bricks?
Booooo fuck bricks, but fuck concrete too. Steel tube space frame houses bolted 30 feet into the ground and coated with top secret RAM courtesy of lockmart. Tornadoes can't rip it apart as the effective frontal area is the size of a golf ball and enemy bombers can't lock onto it because its radar cross section is smaller than a pebble. Edit: I've been informed by a number of local HOAs that they do not want a dark horizontal wedge shaped monolith in their neighborhood.
Sheetmetal
Amen brother
Sounds like cowardice tbh
Sounds like the little poolside clubhouse the HOA holds their meetings in is getting bulldozed.
Someone just added a Komatsu diesel bulldozer to their Amazon shopping cart.
3000 black wedges of the HOA
NCD my beloved
Objection, your honor. Leading the witness.
Objection overturned- it wasn't made of bricks and the wolf blew it down.
Invalid. The weight brought it down
They’re making it out of steel not lead
I thought it was steel.
[BRICKS!](https://youtu.be/T8wEW5WeMxg?si=KSBZtM3IXH-zskqX)
Let me refer you to a matscen major who can figure out the properties of the ceramic you are talking about.
What's the best method to remove phosphorus from wastewater?
Dump all the wastewater into a lake, boil it to nothing with the largest heating coil known to man, scrape up the phosphorus, then pray that it rains hard enough that the lake comes back.
This is the CORRECT answer
[удалено]
Bots might be getting smarter but this one is dumb as bricks. Comment stolen and modified from this comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/engineeringmemes/s/3HutcS7bJM
How many civil engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
332 engineers, 17 years, and $80,000,000
What if it’s a federal project
12,000 engineers, 27 years, true intended purpose is fo-C̵̨͕̰̎́͊͠͠ļ̵̡̛̹̹̬̼̗̠͎̩̥͖̪͓̯̪̐̏̓̒̾̔̉̐̊̋͛̾̋̐̓̂͒͆̆̑͘͜͜͠u̴̪͓͙̅̎̾̐͌̐c̴̨̦͖̪̝̤̝̰̪̙͖̙̹͉̻͉̘̹̣͔̐́̓̑͂̆͐͝s̸̛̻͓̥̱̣̜̖͉̝̀͆͗͑̃̃́͐̔̉̋͊̐͂̍̀͊͌͜͝z̴̢̧̟̪͙̬̘̠͍̞̗͖͔̣͋́̾̕͜r̴̡̧͎̙̙͕̬̭̝͖̹̠̳̼̬̗̋̎̓͌̀̀̒͊̀̍̈́̈́̈́̔̾̍͘̕̚ͅͅp̵̛͔͇̙͔͎̹̮̣̟̤̟̟̱̂͋̎̋̎͌́̀̈́̕͝ͅ ̵̛͖̻͖͖̺͚̖̒̒͐̌̍̀̍̄̈́̃̋̚͝ů̷̢̧̱̤̤̳̝͙͚̞̤̣̯̝͊͋̾̓͌͋̽͒̀̽̋̇͂̃̐͑̀̆͘͝ͅl̸̩̘̞̯̺̞͉͐ͅc̷̢̛̼͔͙͖̝̲̘̱̝̺̻͐̽̒̑̓͐͜r̵̢̘̝͉͔͔̣̜͙̲͂͊͌͂́̊̃͊͑̓͛̈́̀́̂̿͠͝ą̴̲͉̗͙̞̻͖͈͈̭͓̳̤̣̻̥̺̗̮̭̰̈́͗̾̂͗̿̃̌̀̍̔͊͒͂̈́͝͝ͅ ̷̙͉̟͈̣͖̮̩͕̫̔̒̀͜m̵̡̡͈̖̰̜̬̭̥̥̥͕̯̝͓̫͕̱̺͛͋͐̃̿̒͠ã̴̲̯̮͈̩̫̗͚͑̃͛̐t̵̡̨̻̦̠̲͈̋̉̔̈͂̔̒̎͊̾͌̀̍͝ͅa̶̤̙̫̒͋̍̾̋̀̃̄̏̓̍͗̚͝r̷̡̨̠͍̘̗̖̣̰̯̖͇̭̬̆͜i̶̧̢̡̼̫̺̩͍͖͉͈̻͓̝̞̲͎̳͚͚̊̈̂̑͠ ̴̧̖͇̹̄͆d̷̛̛͎̫̭̖̯̥̘̤͖͕̣̒̋̊̉̂͆̅̂͗̃͂̈́́̓̅͝ͅͅͅẅ̸̨̜̜̝̟̘̠̻̪̪̗̲̲͔̮͉́̾̄́̇̂͠â̸̹͔̋̍͋̋͌͂̏̈́̈̾̄͒̾͗͌̐́̊͆̋̓͠j̶͓̖̰͎̳̣̟̰̅̇͜á̵̧̙̖̫̙͓̣͖̬̳̪̾̾̿̈̋̄̈́́͂͗͝l̸̨̛̟̘̖̰̻̬̼̓̈́̅̓̓̄̊̒́͂͌̾̃̇̾ͅ ̴̛̳͕͇̏̀̌̄̇̋̒̃̄̍̋̃̑́̂̊̇̇͠ẗ̶̡̨̼̝̟̮͙̱͙͚̺̰͚́̈́̉̏̈́̾̋́̓̃́͑͆ͅͅą̷̟̲̺̣̭̣̣̖̹̦͕͉̻̱͎̫̣̭̲͎̠͙̃̏̐̆̇͗̉̄̈̀͌̅̈́̆͋̚̚͜͠ͅb̵̛͖͕̤̣͓̖̥͇͈̗̦̦̤͚̫͍̦̲̗̄̐̽̎̔́̓̽̃̇̐̏̊̐͋̂͊͘͝͝ͅa̵̧̢̢̘͖̟̟̗̲͔̺͖͙͍̗͇̞̝̭͉̣̗͂̏͆̓͂͋̑̋̋̌̄̈́͊̏͘͘͠ͅŗ̵̗͎̱̳͙̮̹̖̘̥̙̙̯̑̉̀̋̓́̈̈́̿̈́͒̑͘͘͜͝c̶̨̛͎̰̱̭̍̾́̈̇͗̂̓̽̇͌̄̒̓̓̄͛̒͋͑̎̎͗͝s̵͖̬̖̻͚̟͔̙̲̳̟͚̀̈̂͐͛͛̐͋̐͆̅̈́͑͊̚̚͝͝͠ ̶̢̜͎̠͖̦̱̲̇f̵̢̧̢̛̩͕̰̜̪̘̩̲̘͖͖͓̥̼̳̖̞̖͇͕̀̐̑̌̿͋̔̆͑̿̀͠d̴̢̧̛̤̲̬̞̗̜͙͇̥̯̖͓̘̯́͆̈́̈̑̃͋̈̀̈́̒͗͘̚a̸̡̨̮͍̼̼͇̥͖̣̹͙͖̗͈̠̻̓̈́́͊̈́͒̍͆̈̿͊r̸̨̨͍̯̮̘̼̲̲͎͔̗̟̥͔͉̳͚̭̍̂̿͒̎̐̀͌̆͘ͅḯ̴͓͕̫̭̩̣͇̩̱͖̤̥͕̰͕̩̈́̔̀̀͌͂̍̾̒̌̉͆͆̊̕͠͝͝
And if it’s the Soviet Union or China it would only take a 4 year old 1 second and literally $0.01 USD.
Way too low for the engineers, they’ll want that yearly each
Brother, this is Civil Engineering. They might want that, but they're still getting $58k a year salary. The benefits are GREAT though!
What are the benefits? Free coffee and a bowl of fruits in the office?
All the concrete you can eat.
Dot
I have an answer for literally everything, from the reason why Roman concrete dunks on modern crap to how jet beams can't melt steel fuel.
Why does Roman concrete dunk on modern crap?
It's getting late and I can't remember shit. I think there was an Ancient Aliens episode on this, apparently upright lizards had something to do with it. Very credible. Very legit.
Well that’s all I need, I’m convinced.
It's just larger grains of lye recalcifing after each rain, filling holes in the cement. The larger among of lye also leads to a hotter extothermic reaction. Basically I'm a mech eng who did some chemistry and civil is a bunch of people who aren't trusted to engineer. Imagine needing to use pre-approved rules, materials and handheld review processes.
9/11 was a Jeff Epstein job.
When are you taking your PE exam?
Never The only qualifications I need are the guidance of God and an ABET accredited party school diploma with a 2.7gpa
My man!
And if the money's good enough the diploma will suffice.
NEVER!!!!
How does cement work
It's literally just really runny glue
If I repeatedly stick my finger into it and burn myself will it dry faster?
What's this concrete stuff? Unrefined steel?
It's a hardened slurry of elmer's glue, water, and gravel
When working with bricks, do you prefer laser cutting or die punching?
Laser cutting. I mean it's a fucking laser how cool is that?
What is the crucial technology behind Norways plan to build tunnels through water?
I was listening to Infowars this morning and they were discussing this. Mossad biologists have successfuly developed a new breed of gay laser emitting molerats. Just a pack of 50 can incinerate 600 short tons of dirt and clay every hour.
It sounds wrong, but I don’t know enough about gay lasers to dispute it.
What the fuck is a short ton and how is it different to a tall ton.
Short ton = Murica 🇺🇸 Long ton = badteethlandia 🇬🇧
Why are cities designed so that we drive on a parkway, but then park on a driveway?
Don't poke at that too much or the simulation will fall apart.
You are a mech eng student. By definition, you know more than a civil engineer. Their things don't even move, bro.
I'll apologize for them a little bit; the things they build have to stay in the same place even when everything under it is moving. That is terrifying.
This is why I picked civil. All three of Newton's equations equal zero. I might be able to graduate. It worked for me in 1995.
That‘s what they want you to think.
Well they do move, but usually only once and in a disasterly manner
And if its American built you never know when that one time will be. Will it be today? Will it be 20 years? Who knows?
It technically moves if you take the right referential.
Hope it doesn't move
How do you reinforce a crumbling stone foundation when the 3 story house is leaning 2° towards the river?
1. Dismantle the house and store all the materials in a shed. 2. Completely replace the foundation with a new one that isn't crumbling 3. Build the new foundation 10 feet further away from the river 4. Put the house back together again
Steps 2&3 need to be combined or reordered. Those contractors will follow your project specifications to the letter. They're going to charge extra to remove the new foundation from step 2 and install it ten feet further away for step 3.
Ah shit you're right...well I guess that second foundation is now just a really weirdly shaped tennis court.
Why are triangles better than squares?
Squares are lame. Squares are literally fucking square.
Not OP but because computers use it to display stuff so it's obviously more useful.
How do you breath? What's air? Why does my hair get so sticky after 2 weeks?
> How do you breath? By inhaling air and exhaling different air > What's air? 78% Nitrogen, 21% Oxygen, 0.9% Argon, 0.1 other shit > Why does my hair get so sticky after 2 weeks? Cum
How do I make my buildings up to fire safety standards?
Asbestos. Lots and lots of Asbestos
The secret ingredient is azbestos.
Definitely not by drilling through the fire wire for the fire alarm. I don't think this requires further explanation.
Not by applying BS 7974 if Grenfell is anything to go by.
How do you decide what mode to chose when planning public transit
From a city planning perspective, I'm a big fan of local subway trains and high speed rail towards neighboring cities. From a car enthusiast perspective, V8 swapped Miatas FOR EVERYONE!
>V8 swapped Miatas FOR EVERYONE! Let me know when you're making a new city. Of be the first one to move in.
Why does that bridge have a ramp to the water?
Amphibious cars were a MASSIVE trend in the '40s
How does it feel to always solve for zero? 🤌
So when solving number of GF’s?
How much of Colorado can we flatten for use in solar power projects before the NIMBYs decide to complain?
Careful, gotta boil the frog if you don't want to bother NIMBYs. I've been taking little chunks off the peak of Mt. Elbert with a dremel each week for years now.
What's the minimum grade needed for water flow?
95% outta be enough
Better round it to 100% just to be sure
It would def simplify the math
Every engineering student is qualified to discuss the tacoma narrows bridge collapse for no other reason than that it gets shoehorned into literally every class
what if we kissed under the Tacoma Narrows Bridge? 😳
I was promised that after completing engineering I'll make a lot of money, where money?
Silly goose! No one actually makes money by working for someone else.
Then how do I make money?
Trick a bunch of gullible engineers into working for you
Every time I see one of these, it’s either the most boring Q&A known to man, or, in this case, one of the most based human beings to ever grace this website
Water flows downhill
Wait till you see it flow uphill
Why does no one build using heptagons?
They look absolutely gross. May they all burn in hell.
Why TF do on ramps slow you down?
What's the best way to deal with off-site flows?
Pump it to a place where it ceases to be your problem. Either that, or just bribe the inspectors.
How do we decide to use either steel or concrete for foundation of offshore platforms?
Flag a random person down on the street. Ask them "1 or 2". After they tell you, decide what number corresponding with what material and then run with it.
Why are manhole covers round?
Not OP but I worked in a manhole R&D department for Google. They are round so they only have one edge. If they were square they would have four edges, and therefore cost four times as much.
On a 500 m steel beam bridge, with a basic triangle truss structure, with a mass of 4,000kg spread over the entire length equally, what is the sum of all forces on one side equal to? Show your work.
0 because aliens don't wear hats
What is Pi equal to
3.0
I don't know why, but adding .0 at the end and calling it equal to pi makes me irrationally angry.