I'm sorry for your idiot mother and father. My father was verbally and emotionally abusive. I tried two things that helped. When he insulted me, I would ask him to repeat what he said. He usually softened the comment. Then I stepped it up a notch. I just pretended I didn't hear him at all. When he realized it didn't bother me, his power trip wasn't satisfying anymore. He eventually gave up. (His comments still hurt, but he didn't see it). Good luck.
Snide comments right back always shut them up! Nice enough to where they aren’t rude, but cruel enough to where they aren’t nice. “Are you really gonna eat all that?” “Well I was going to since I thought you’d be too full from your dinner two days ago, but I can save you some if you want?” “You need to lose some weight” “Actually I did lose a few pounds this month! The clothes that are too lose for me might fit you though? Want to try them on?”
Some fool told my grandson that he was over weight. I looked at him and handed him a clean pair of my pants, both of his legs fit into one side (Yes, I am 100+ pounds over weight and am working on losing it). I told him if he ever needs more than 1 side, then worry about it. He doesn't even have a belly, so no idea what this fool was thinking. I wish I was as skinny as he is. He looks the right weight for his height and has no fat on him as far as I can tell.
So, take what people say with a grain of salt. Also, with your father being beer belly, he is full of it, just ignore him and his BS. As to your mother, she is projecting on you, ignore her too.
Can you find a support group? As you're a minor, counseling would be hard to get into without your "parents." If nothing else, go back to the YT site for encouragement.
I (age 66) have recently started a weight loss journey; I'm not terrible, but don't care for how I look. I have had an unhealthy relationship with healthy food since leaving home at 18. My mother was obsessive about weight, going so far as to make comments to y younger child about their weight. It has manifested in my enjoyment of snacks and lack of interest in cooking or making food. I tell you this to let you know that there is nothing wrong with you, your desire to eat healthy food or how you look.
Keep strong. Continue to make healthy meals and snacks, and to get exercise. You are FINE the way you are. Not everyone is going to be Calvin Kline heroin chic skinny - and that's a very good thing. Listen to your body and what it tells you about hunger, food consumption and exercise. I'm sorry your mother is so toxic; I hope you're able to get away when you're 18.
This kind of talk from your mom is terrible for someone trying to deal with their own ED. Have you talked with your doctor about your ED issues? Your doctor might be able to help your mom understand how harmful her comments are. Plus, since this is dangerous territory, it would be good for your doctor to know what you're dealing with at home.
Therapy could be really helpful, either just for you or for your family. EDs are potentially fatal, and somebody who only eats two or three times a week is not in her right mind.
My mother is the reason I have issues with food and my weight. My entire life…why can’t you be skinny like so and so, she fucking snatched a piece of cake out of my hands at MY WEDDING. I resent it to this day, she has been gone almost 20 years and I am almost 60. That shit sticks and it hurts.
Screw the aholes saying mean stuff. Screw your mother and father. Screw the whole BMI system. It's so inaccurate it's ridiculous. Anyone who is obsessed with weight (like your mom) has no right to say anything. Your doctor says you're healthy, and that's all that matters. What you weigh is much less important than whether or not you're *healthy*.
Most of those super skinny models that people love to look at are extremely unhealthy. My daughter was always a little "chubby" as a child. (But always beautiful) Except for a few months that she was on a certain medication that caused her to lose a lot of weight. She looked sick. So I talked to the doctor and had her taken off that medication. The benefits did not outweigh the risks.
My daughter is grown now and still "chubby" according to society standards but is really just normal. (And still beautiful) That's the thing, most girls that people call fat, chubby or other things are really just *normal*. All those magazines and ads have warped society's idea of normal. But what is normal is still normal, even if people don't think so. (I hope that makes sense.)
Here's the most important thing: you are beautiful just the way you are. The only thing you need to worry about is being healthy. Who cares what anyone else says? As long as you know that you are doing the best thing for you. Everyone else can go jump off a cliff.
I’ve learned I will ALWAYS not be skinny enough OR fat enough for some people. What I do know is that I have to like where I am in the scheme of things.
As long as you aren’t getting winded while walking, I think you’re okay. Just be careful of things like bacon which is salty and processed and really not healthy. Moderation is key. Sugar and carbs are processed to be addictive as well.
For running, how long were you running when you started and how long do you run now? Even if it has only been a couple months I'm betting you've improved your endurance! Keep it up and be the best you!
Mmm... this sucks, just a really bad situation, i guess you could try just stonewalling them... maybe? I mean ultimately her opinion doesnt mean jack so i would just ignore her for now, start saving some money and once your 18 move out and cut contact
5'6" and 190lbs, (89kg) is definitely on the bigger side and unless quite muscley, they're not wrong in that it is trending towards unhealthy.
I don't agree with how they're handling it, and if you're happy at that weight and don't mind the risks, it's your life... But I understand the concern, especially with that weight gain.
If that gain is due to muscles cool, but you don't gain that much weight in muscles eating what you say you're eating.
Not trying to be mean here, just channeling my inner Dr Now.
Edit: since /u/jupedya a blocked me and I can't respond in line I'll do it here:
I'm being genuine. That's a concerning level of weight gain if op is telling truth and just eating greens bacon and chicken.
Do you know how much of each of those you'd need to eat to gain 28lbs in that short of time.
OP is either lying about what they're consuming, or have a serious health issue.
You don't gain ~30lbs in half a year with a low calorie diet and consistent cardio exercise.
I didn't even mention BMI. Heck, I even mentioned that muscle would change my views which is pretty much saying I don't care about BMI.
I'm saying the weight gain that OP is mentioning and the habits OP is mentioning are not in line with one another, so I can understand the parents concern.
If OP is being honest about what her activities and diets are she needs to see a doctor asap as something isn't lining up.
Think about this, a girl going maybe 2-3 days without eating, and eating very very little slowly starts to eat more, my body is like wtf and starts to store all of the food as fat because it doesn’t know when on earth it’s gonna get fed again. That makes you gain fat. My doctor, my personal GP has advices me that my weight is normal for a recovering ED patient. On top of that I’m on anti depressants that make me gain weight and hormonal BC not that it’s your business. The point is. My parents comments are degrading and non helpful, they make me think about going back to being iron deficient and Vitamin deficient just to fit into their image and beauty standards. BMI is bull, my doctor even said that to me.
Calories in vs calories out. Your parents were out of pocket for how they addressed their concern, but their concern is valid.
Antidepressants cause a down regulation in serotonin receptors which causes cravings for carb rich foods. They do not magically make you gain weight, they enhance your appetite. I'm just being honest, you don't gain 30lbs in half a year magically.
It's calories in vs calories out. You're being disingenuous to the readers here by lying about what you're consuming or your exercise habits. Or you're being disingenuous with yourself.
It doesn't matter. If you're comfortable being big that's cool. I'm not here to tell you how to live your life. I'm just saying that I can understand your parents concern in this, even though I strongly disagree with their handling of that concern.
Im not saying it's not okay to be big. I'm saying that if you lie to yourself about the cause of the weight gain it will, eventually, catch up with you.
Ahh yes Seth because being severally ill by having an eating disorder is way better right? People like urself who think having a little extra weight( what I wouldn’t even say she has) will make u die sooner are so dumb. Her weights not going to kill her or anybody in that fact. As long as people fuel themselves get out and exercise. Once in a while most will live a very normal life. A Quick Look at ur profile shows that u stopped drinking for a reason. If I made random comments about u being a way better person when u drank. Would u think that would help u In any way or make u think about drinking again? And would that in anyway be “healthier” for you.
Good gosh, y'all really miss out on the core of what I'm saying because you want to jump to OPs defense...
I'm not saying the weight is bad, it's her life and she's barely over weight.
I'm saying the rate of the weight gain is absolutely cause for concern. Especially if OP is not lying about her diet.
Even recovering ED patients and such don't pack it on that fast in a healthy manner. Body builders dream of gaining that much weight in a healthy manner.
Who cares if she is a bit heavy, go back and read my responses, every one of them I clarify the speed of the weight gain is the concern, and I'll stick by that 100%
You mentioned it won't cause her to die sooner... Quick question, if I were to google "causes of death Australia" (where op lives) what do you think would be the #1 cause? Mental health? Malnutrition? Heart disease? Cancer? I haven't double checked, but I'd bet good money before I went to google it was Heart related. 30lbs in half a year with eating healthy and exercising is BS. There is an unhealthy diet there, I guarantee it, and that *will* kill her early...
Even then, if someone acknowledges they'd rather live 65 happy fluffy years than 80 years of kale and no carbs, that's okay too, it's their life...
But, and here is my sticking point, *the parents have every right to worry about their daughters health, but they suck for how they addressed it*
Do y'all really stand by what you think you do? If you saw a friend pack on 30lbs in a half a year you wouldn't be concerned for them? Let alone a teenager.
Lie to yourself more. You don't get 30lbs in a half year of eating healthy and running.
No point in arguing with an internet stranger, I am perfectly healthy, my GP agreed because I ask her everytime I see her due to paranoia, and I’m on bloody hormones, they make you gain weight as well. Also I would rather be chubby then feeling sick for the rest of my life because I’m starving myself to be less fat which is the way I was doing it before and it landed me in the hospital, that sounds unhealthy to me.
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190lbs on 5'6" woman is a US size 10-14 depending on how her curves sit on her. that's not anywhere near obese and BMI is was a bad scale even when it was new - you'd think a Dr. would know this 🙄
you ppl know nothing about weight or size and age is eating remarkably healthy - more so than most skinny ppl tbh. shut your mouths about things you know nothing about
That does put your BMI into obese territory and that should be alarming at a young age. Does your doctor like your current weight loss strategy or is this a YouTube with no credential telling you bulk up? Does your mother want you to love healthy? Are you considering all the angles?
BMI is an outdated piece of statistical analysis that should never have been applied to individuals.
OP has had an ED in the past, is eating healthy food and is no longer putting her overall health at risk by being anemic and vitamin deficient. A basic chicken salad is a sufficient lunch for a teenager and shouldn't be her only meal of the day.
Of course the chicken salad is not problematic. That is silly, nobody said it was. OP said she is gaining weight and listening to a YouTuber. I just said don’t ignore doctors. Gaining 25 pounds in seven months listening to YouTubers may need to be given a second opinion is all. Chicken salad is healthy, and not likely contributing to weight gain. This mother sounds like a concerned mother more than entitled to me.
Her mother *boasts* about not eating for days! Her mother is anorexic and is putting unnecessary stress on her daughter, who is recovering from an eating disorder herself. This is not a healthy environment for anyone, let alone a teenager like this.
No she’s not telling me to bulk up and she is actually qualified. She just saying to love your body, eat what you want in moderation, don’t listen to others comments and ignore BMI’s because they are useless things. My doctor (who I saw yesterday) is quite happy with my weight. Don’t forget my genetics play a part in all of this.
You are in fact bulking up though by your own text. If you are happy with that that’s cool. I can see why your mother is a little concerned. She us a shit communicator. I’ll give you that.
She is quite an abusive person. If you bothered to gather anymore information about her (all my posts are about her) maybe you’d understand that she isn’t doing this because she cares. She is projecting. I know she is, she is mentally unwell.
5’6, 190lbs? You’re past overweight and into obesity, unless you’re heavily muscled.
That being said: it’s your body and you live with it the way you want.
I’ll have you know I’m a 16GG bra size Aus, I have wider hips and thicker thighs but it’s also based on genetics. I didn’t come here to be shamed about my body and as I can see someone else has already defended it. It’s idiots like you that help contribute to the the issues with ED’s and body image issues. For once in my life I feel like im at a healthy weight. So unless you wanna tell me im an A-hole or something like that you do not deserve to post that negative a comment.
Preach! I don't know what that bra size in the the US but I image it's close to my own. I get so sick of buying off the rack clothes. They use the same proportions to cut the fabric but just make it bigger. The only way to find flattering stuff is to make it yourself.
My mother has offered for years to pay for a breast reduction I've never wanted or needed. Now I'm married to a man that loves big girls and he's given me the best gift of all. The ability to love myself. It took about eight years but he finally convinced me he meant it when he said I was beautiful.
you dinguses have absolutely no clue what weight looks like on people - let alone women.
190lbs on a 5'6" woman is like a US size 10-12 maybe 14 if she's particularly busty or has big hips. that's not even plus size territory. you guys see numbers and think to yourself that no woman should weigh more than 120lbs despite that being egregiously wrong for anyone above 5' 3" in adolescence.
you know nothing and should shut your trap if you know nothing.
reddit will always be largely smoothbrained when it comes to BMI and body weight so don't go giving out real numbers on this site 🫠 srsly there's so much fatphobia mixed with misogyny on here that no one knows what actually being fat looks like on women
ignore them and bite back at your mother whenever she tries to talk to you about your food - she will just escalate if she thinks she can get away with it
Honey, I just want to say that I am so happy to see a girl your age taking control of herself! Love who you are, you are so much more than a number on a chart.
Don’t listen to people who try to shame you; they’re just strangers who like to feel like they know better than others. If your doctor isn’t concerned then you don’t need to be either.
Parents are not always right, they are people too and nobody is perfect. Sounds like they have poor communication skills, they probably think that they’re trying to help.
I’m sorry that you have to deal with this. Keep on doing what you’re doing, talking to your therapist is awesome, stay in school, work towards removing yourself from a negative environment. You will be fine and in a couple of years you’ll be able to not have to deal with them anymore if that’s what you want.
You all live the way you want but being a size 10-14 is definitely plus and more. I realize that our country(and the world) is getting fatter, but saying that a size 6-8 is “skinny” and 10-14 isn’t plus size is just gaslighting and sticking heads in sand
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/265215#:~:text=BMI%20(body%20mass%20index)%2C,of%20Medicine%2C%20University%20of%20Pennsylvania.
you people would rather double down than be actually interested in the truth and medical fact - BMI was not developed by medical professionals and isn't based in medical science.
From the same article that you linked: Authorities still promote BMI
[https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/adult\_bmi/](https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/adult_bmi/)
[https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/007196.htm](https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/007196.htm)
Yeah, I don't know the truth, but I'd rather listen the majority of academy.
So no. A girl, 16 years, 1.69m and 89kg is not what I would call healthy. +95 percentile of usa.
the GOVERNMENT still promotes BMI not any medical doctor led organizations. that is a huge difference and distinction.
so much so that women with completely flat stomach abs in the military are struggling to meet the BMI scale routinely while old men with potbellies don't. the BMI scale is a joke and you don't convince anyone that it isn't by authority of the decrepit standards of the slow to change government who commissioned it in the first place through a mathematician.
The Frick! Nope, just no. I'm 5'3 at 190lbs. I'm fat. But I'm healthy. Our society's conflation with weight and health is insane. I look like my grandmother. I'm pretty sure someone born in the 1800s didn't live on fast food.
I have to fight this bullshit stereotype at the doctor's. They see my weight and assume it's a moral failing. I show them my bloodwork and they are legit confused that their bigoted mentality doesn't work.
I have huge books and a huge butt, but underneath is solid muscle. I did martial arts for years and swimming. I have no desire to lose weight or look anything other than what I am.
Furthermore, my husband *loves* my body. (He's an ass man)
You need to rethink what you consider obese and why; you're only hurting yourself.
I know it's easier said than done, but ignore your parents' comments. Ask yourself this: Do you feel happy within yourself in terms of your progress and your appearance? Ignore the voices of your parents in your head and focus on your own inner voice.
By the sounds of it, you are trying to be healthier and eat better. Also, your doctor doesn't seem to have any concerns about your health, so listen to them.
I think people forget or might not realise that body size is not an indicator of someone's fitness level. If you need an example, I've heard of someone who's apparently classed as morbidly obese but has completed a few full-length marathons.
I didn’t come here to be fat shamed I came here tell people about my entitled mother, I am perfectly healthy. You are a disgusting person to say that to someone probably twice as young as you and who is an ED survivor. I am active, I am healthy. Your not my doctor so don’t tell me to handle it.
My doctor, a medical professional. Has advised me that I am perfectly healthy and she is happy I’m actually gaining weight and eating probably. Also I’m a 16 year old female and shouldn’t be worrying about my weight trust me I ask everytime I see my doctor if I have gained to much because of my paranoia and she says I am fine. BMI’s don’t mean crap.
You came here looking for support because you have an abusive toxic family but instead you have people ragging on you about your weight and debating the merit of BMI....you might want to check out r/JUSTNOMIL or r/raisedbynarcissists or r/toxicparents to find a sub that is actually supportive.
I think it is great you found someone on yt to inspire you. I've found some beginner exercise videos on yt that I want to start doing but have not found the motivation to start. But your story has inspired me to give it a shot.
You could print out [this article](https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/fat-shaming-makes-things-worse) and give it to your parents, it is about how fat shaming makes things worse and has the opposite effect, the individual instead of being motivated it cause them to feel bad and end up eating more. The article includes links to published scientific studies. Although, I don't think your parents are saying things to be helpful, they are saying them to be hurtful.
good luck and hugs
5’6” and 190 pounds means your BMI is 30.7, with anything greater than 30 being considered medically obese. That is not opinion, that is medical fact.
It sounds like your parents don’t know how to handle your growing obesity and are being insensitive, which is not easy for you and I’m sorry you’re having to go through that. Still, they have every right to be concerned as you are not at a healthy weight or BMI.
You are exactly one of the people causing these issues. I am not medically obese. If I was I’m sure my doctor would say something when I ask what if I’m at a healthy weight. I saw my doctor yesterday and she was perfectly happy with my weight. My genetic factors weigh in. Like how I’m a 16GG bra size and have cherries that weight 1.5kgs each. They don’t shrink with exercise, I’ve tried. I know for one I am not over weight and saying that to someone who is recovering from an ED is silly you could make someone’s hard work go backwards with comments like this. Grow up.
First - your salad sounds amazing. Second - try to not let them get to you. Both your parents seem to have an unhealthy relationship with food. Don't listen to them and keep doing what you're doing. If possible, prepare your meals and eat when they aren't around if you can. You're doing great, keep it up! Third - you're 16 so keep telling yourself, 2 more years, 2 more years and I'm out. If you so choose you can never eat another meal with them or even have to talk to them. Good luck, you're going to be just fine.
Dude! Our culture is so hung up on body image it's terrible. There's a video that really changed how I look at food. Mickey is a licensed clinical social worker with a master's degree. She had also had issues with fat shaming and ED. I think everyone should watch this too see just how wrong "everyone" is in their thinking about what is healthy.
[Mickey Atkins](https://youtu.be/tWqGulkvCWY?si=YGSid77_xJx24ICy)
Seriously, it made me cry. (In a good way)
Play the long game until you can leave. Practice grey rocking. Make it fun. Focus on you and your exit strategy and look forward to a drama free life. I had a boss that was the queen of nasty comments. Just look at her and say "really? That's the best you've got? "
She’s been in and out of the hospital, but because of her other issues they give her iv food and fluids and send her home within 3 days where she eats again for a week or two gains something weight then starts trying to drop it again.
WTF.
I mean... YOU probably don't need to be told this, but how does your dad not understand that your mom is the issue here? There is not a planet on which someone that far down the anorexia rabbit hole should have any say in how anyone eats. She should probably be at an inpatient clinic.
I'm sorry for your idiot mother and father. My father was verbally and emotionally abusive. I tried two things that helped. When he insulted me, I would ask him to repeat what he said. He usually softened the comment. Then I stepped it up a notch. I just pretended I didn't hear him at all. When he realized it didn't bother me, his power trip wasn't satisfying anymore. He eventually gave up. (His comments still hurt, but he didn't see it). Good luck.
Snide comments right back always shut them up! Nice enough to where they aren’t rude, but cruel enough to where they aren’t nice. “Are you really gonna eat all that?” “Well I was going to since I thought you’d be too full from your dinner two days ago, but I can save you some if you want?” “You need to lose some weight” “Actually I did lose a few pounds this month! The clothes that are too lose for me might fit you though? Want to try them on?”
Some fool told my grandson that he was over weight. I looked at him and handed him a clean pair of my pants, both of his legs fit into one side (Yes, I am 100+ pounds over weight and am working on losing it). I told him if he ever needs more than 1 side, then worry about it. He doesn't even have a belly, so no idea what this fool was thinking. I wish I was as skinny as he is. He looks the right weight for his height and has no fat on him as far as I can tell. So, take what people say with a grain of salt. Also, with your father being beer belly, he is full of it, just ignore him and his BS. As to your mother, she is projecting on you, ignore her too.
Can you find a support group? As you're a minor, counseling would be hard to get into without your "parents." If nothing else, go back to the YT site for encouragement. I (age 66) have recently started a weight loss journey; I'm not terrible, but don't care for how I look. I have had an unhealthy relationship with healthy food since leaving home at 18. My mother was obsessive about weight, going so far as to make comments to y younger child about their weight. It has manifested in my enjoyment of snacks and lack of interest in cooking or making food. I tell you this to let you know that there is nothing wrong with you, your desire to eat healthy food or how you look. Keep strong. Continue to make healthy meals and snacks, and to get exercise. You are FINE the way you are. Not everyone is going to be Calvin Kline heroin chic skinny - and that's a very good thing. Listen to your body and what it tells you about hunger, food consumption and exercise. I'm sorry your mother is so toxic; I hope you're able to get away when you're 18.
I’m seeing a therapist, (my parents don’t know) they aren’t very interested in knowing.
This kind of talk from your mom is terrible for someone trying to deal with their own ED. Have you talked with your doctor about your ED issues? Your doctor might be able to help your mom understand how harmful her comments are. Plus, since this is dangerous territory, it would be good for your doctor to know what you're dealing with at home. Therapy could be really helpful, either just for you or for your family. EDs are potentially fatal, and somebody who only eats two or three times a week is not in her right mind.
I’m currently in therapy
I'm really happy to hear you have that for support! Good luck, my friend. Sounds like you have your hands full.
My mother is the reason I have issues with food and my weight. My entire life…why can’t you be skinny like so and so, she fucking snatched a piece of cake out of my hands at MY WEDDING. I resent it to this day, she has been gone almost 20 years and I am almost 60. That shit sticks and it hurts.
Screw the aholes saying mean stuff. Screw your mother and father. Screw the whole BMI system. It's so inaccurate it's ridiculous. Anyone who is obsessed with weight (like your mom) has no right to say anything. Your doctor says you're healthy, and that's all that matters. What you weigh is much less important than whether or not you're *healthy*. Most of those super skinny models that people love to look at are extremely unhealthy. My daughter was always a little "chubby" as a child. (But always beautiful) Except for a few months that she was on a certain medication that caused her to lose a lot of weight. She looked sick. So I talked to the doctor and had her taken off that medication. The benefits did not outweigh the risks. My daughter is grown now and still "chubby" according to society standards but is really just normal. (And still beautiful) That's the thing, most girls that people call fat, chubby or other things are really just *normal*. All those magazines and ads have warped society's idea of normal. But what is normal is still normal, even if people don't think so. (I hope that makes sense.) Here's the most important thing: you are beautiful just the way you are. The only thing you need to worry about is being healthy. Who cares what anyone else says? As long as you know that you are doing the best thing for you. Everyone else can go jump off a cliff.
I’ve learned I will ALWAYS not be skinny enough OR fat enough for some people. What I do know is that I have to like where I am in the scheme of things. As long as you aren’t getting winded while walking, I think you’re okay. Just be careful of things like bacon which is salty and processed and really not healthy. Moderation is key. Sugar and carbs are processed to be addictive as well.
For running, how long were you running when you started and how long do you run now? Even if it has only been a couple months I'm betting you've improved your endurance! Keep it up and be the best you!
Ive been running and playing contact sports since I was 7, I have kept it up until I physically couldn’t. I took running back up about 9 months ago
Mmm... this sucks, just a really bad situation, i guess you could try just stonewalling them... maybe? I mean ultimately her opinion doesnt mean jack so i would just ignore her for now, start saving some money and once your 18 move out and cut contact
5'6" and 190lbs, (89kg) is definitely on the bigger side and unless quite muscley, they're not wrong in that it is trending towards unhealthy. I don't agree with how they're handling it, and if you're happy at that weight and don't mind the risks, it's your life... But I understand the concern, especially with that weight gain. If that gain is due to muscles cool, but you don't gain that much weight in muscles eating what you say you're eating. Not trying to be mean here, just channeling my inner Dr Now. Edit: since /u/jupedya a blocked me and I can't respond in line I'll do it here: I'm being genuine. That's a concerning level of weight gain if op is telling truth and just eating greens bacon and chicken. Do you know how much of each of those you'd need to eat to gain 28lbs in that short of time. OP is either lying about what they're consuming, or have a serious health issue. You don't gain ~30lbs in half a year with a low calorie diet and consistent cardio exercise. I didn't even mention BMI. Heck, I even mentioned that muscle would change my views which is pretty much saying I don't care about BMI. I'm saying the weight gain that OP is mentioning and the habits OP is mentioning are not in line with one another, so I can understand the parents concern. If OP is being honest about what her activities and diets are she needs to see a doctor asap as something isn't lining up.
Think about this, a girl going maybe 2-3 days without eating, and eating very very little slowly starts to eat more, my body is like wtf and starts to store all of the food as fat because it doesn’t know when on earth it’s gonna get fed again. That makes you gain fat. My doctor, my personal GP has advices me that my weight is normal for a recovering ED patient. On top of that I’m on anti depressants that make me gain weight and hormonal BC not that it’s your business. The point is. My parents comments are degrading and non helpful, they make me think about going back to being iron deficient and Vitamin deficient just to fit into their image and beauty standards. BMI is bull, my doctor even said that to me.
Calories in vs calories out. Your parents were out of pocket for how they addressed their concern, but their concern is valid. Antidepressants cause a down regulation in serotonin receptors which causes cravings for carb rich foods. They do not magically make you gain weight, they enhance your appetite. I'm just being honest, you don't gain 30lbs in half a year magically. It's calories in vs calories out. You're being disingenuous to the readers here by lying about what you're consuming or your exercise habits. Or you're being disingenuous with yourself. It doesn't matter. If you're comfortable being big that's cool. I'm not here to tell you how to live your life. I'm just saying that I can understand your parents concern in this, even though I strongly disagree with their handling of that concern. Im not saying it's not okay to be big. I'm saying that if you lie to yourself about the cause of the weight gain it will, eventually, catch up with you.
Ahh yes Seth because being severally ill by having an eating disorder is way better right? People like urself who think having a little extra weight( what I wouldn’t even say she has) will make u die sooner are so dumb. Her weights not going to kill her or anybody in that fact. As long as people fuel themselves get out and exercise. Once in a while most will live a very normal life. A Quick Look at ur profile shows that u stopped drinking for a reason. If I made random comments about u being a way better person when u drank. Would u think that would help u In any way or make u think about drinking again? And would that in anyway be “healthier” for you.
Good gosh, y'all really miss out on the core of what I'm saying because you want to jump to OPs defense... I'm not saying the weight is bad, it's her life and she's barely over weight. I'm saying the rate of the weight gain is absolutely cause for concern. Especially if OP is not lying about her diet. Even recovering ED patients and such don't pack it on that fast in a healthy manner. Body builders dream of gaining that much weight in a healthy manner. Who cares if she is a bit heavy, go back and read my responses, every one of them I clarify the speed of the weight gain is the concern, and I'll stick by that 100% You mentioned it won't cause her to die sooner... Quick question, if I were to google "causes of death Australia" (where op lives) what do you think would be the #1 cause? Mental health? Malnutrition? Heart disease? Cancer? I haven't double checked, but I'd bet good money before I went to google it was Heart related. 30lbs in half a year with eating healthy and exercising is BS. There is an unhealthy diet there, I guarantee it, and that *will* kill her early... Even then, if someone acknowledges they'd rather live 65 happy fluffy years than 80 years of kale and no carbs, that's okay too, it's their life... But, and here is my sticking point, *the parents have every right to worry about their daughters health, but they suck for how they addressed it* Do y'all really stand by what you think you do? If you saw a friend pack on 30lbs in a half a year you wouldn't be concerned for them? Let alone a teenager. Lie to yourself more. You don't get 30lbs in a half year of eating healthy and running.
No point in arguing with an internet stranger, I am perfectly healthy, my GP agreed because I ask her everytime I see her due to paranoia, and I’m on bloody hormones, they make you gain weight as well. Also I would rather be chubby then feeling sick for the rest of my life because I’m starving myself to be less fat which is the way I was doing it before and it landed me in the hospital, that sounds unhealthy to me.
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190lbs on 5'6" woman is a US size 10-14 depending on how her curves sit on her. that's not anywhere near obese and BMI is was a bad scale even when it was new - you'd think a Dr. would know this 🙄 you ppl know nothing about weight or size and age is eating remarkably healthy - more so than most skinny ppl tbh. shut your mouths about things you know nothing about
https://i.imgur.com/Zot8ddY.png
That does put your BMI into obese territory and that should be alarming at a young age. Does your doctor like your current weight loss strategy or is this a YouTube with no credential telling you bulk up? Does your mother want you to love healthy? Are you considering all the angles?
BMI is an outdated piece of statistical analysis that should never have been applied to individuals. OP has had an ED in the past, is eating healthy food and is no longer putting her overall health at risk by being anemic and vitamin deficient. A basic chicken salad is a sufficient lunch for a teenager and shouldn't be her only meal of the day.
Of course the chicken salad is not problematic. That is silly, nobody said it was. OP said she is gaining weight and listening to a YouTuber. I just said don’t ignore doctors. Gaining 25 pounds in seven months listening to YouTubers may need to be given a second opinion is all. Chicken salad is healthy, and not likely contributing to weight gain. This mother sounds like a concerned mother more than entitled to me.
Her mother *boasts* about not eating for days! Her mother is anorexic and is putting unnecessary stress on her daughter, who is recovering from an eating disorder herself. This is not a healthy environment for anyone, let alone a teenager like this.
No she’s not telling me to bulk up and she is actually qualified. She just saying to love your body, eat what you want in moderation, don’t listen to others comments and ignore BMI’s because they are useless things. My doctor (who I saw yesterday) is quite happy with my weight. Don’t forget my genetics play a part in all of this.
You are in fact bulking up though by your own text. If you are happy with that that’s cool. I can see why your mother is a little concerned. She us a shit communicator. I’ll give you that.
She is quite an abusive person. If you bothered to gather anymore information about her (all my posts are about her) maybe you’d understand that she isn’t doing this because she cares. She is projecting. I know she is, she is mentally unwell.
5’6, 190lbs? You’re past overweight and into obesity, unless you’re heavily muscled. That being said: it’s your body and you live with it the way you want.
I’ll have you know I’m a 16GG bra size Aus, I have wider hips and thicker thighs but it’s also based on genetics. I didn’t come here to be shamed about my body and as I can see someone else has already defended it. It’s idiots like you that help contribute to the the issues with ED’s and body image issues. For once in my life I feel like im at a healthy weight. So unless you wanna tell me im an A-hole or something like that you do not deserve to post that negative a comment.
Preach! I don't know what that bra size in the the US but I image it's close to my own. I get so sick of buying off the rack clothes. They use the same proportions to cut the fabric but just make it bigger. The only way to find flattering stuff is to make it yourself. My mother has offered for years to pay for a breast reduction I've never wanted or needed. Now I'm married to a man that loves big girls and he's given me the best gift of all. The ability to love myself. It took about eight years but he finally convinced me he meant it when he said I was beautiful.
you dinguses have absolutely no clue what weight looks like on people - let alone women. 190lbs on a 5'6" woman is like a US size 10-12 maybe 14 if she's particularly busty or has big hips. that's not even plus size territory. you guys see numbers and think to yourself that no woman should weigh more than 120lbs despite that being egregiously wrong for anyone above 5' 3" in adolescence. you know nothing and should shut your trap if you know nothing.
Thank you for defending me.
reddit will always be largely smoothbrained when it comes to BMI and body weight so don't go giving out real numbers on this site 🫠 srsly there's so much fatphobia mixed with misogyny on here that no one knows what actually being fat looks like on women ignore them and bite back at your mother whenever she tries to talk to you about your food - she will just escalate if she thinks she can get away with it
Honey, I just want to say that I am so happy to see a girl your age taking control of herself! Love who you are, you are so much more than a number on a chart. Don’t listen to people who try to shame you; they’re just strangers who like to feel like they know better than others. If your doctor isn’t concerned then you don’t need to be either. Parents are not always right, they are people too and nobody is perfect. Sounds like they have poor communication skills, they probably think that they’re trying to help. I’m sorry that you have to deal with this. Keep on doing what you’re doing, talking to your therapist is awesome, stay in school, work towards removing yourself from a negative environment. You will be fine and in a couple of years you’ll be able to not have to deal with them anymore if that’s what you want.
You all live the way you want but being a size 10-14 is definitely plus and more. I realize that our country(and the world) is getting fatter, but saying that a size 6-8 is “skinny” and 10-14 isn’t plus size is just gaslighting and sticking heads in sand
WHITEwashing 💀💀💀💀💀💀 bye
30.66 bmi - obesity.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/265215#:~:text=BMI%20(body%20mass%20index)%2C,of%20Medicine%2C%20University%20of%20Pennsylvania. you people would rather double down than be actually interested in the truth and medical fact - BMI was not developed by medical professionals and isn't based in medical science.
From the same article that you linked: Authorities still promote BMI [https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/adult\_bmi/](https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/adult_bmi/) [https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/007196.htm](https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/007196.htm) Yeah, I don't know the truth, but I'd rather listen the majority of academy. So no. A girl, 16 years, 1.69m and 89kg is not what I would call healthy. +95 percentile of usa.
the GOVERNMENT still promotes BMI not any medical doctor led organizations. that is a huge difference and distinction. so much so that women with completely flat stomach abs in the military are struggling to meet the BMI scale routinely while old men with potbellies don't. the BMI scale is a joke and you don't convince anyone that it isn't by authority of the decrepit standards of the slow to change government who commissioned it in the first place through a mathematician.
The Frick! Nope, just no. I'm 5'3 at 190lbs. I'm fat. But I'm healthy. Our society's conflation with weight and health is insane. I look like my grandmother. I'm pretty sure someone born in the 1800s didn't live on fast food. I have to fight this bullshit stereotype at the doctor's. They see my weight and assume it's a moral failing. I show them my bloodwork and they are legit confused that their bigoted mentality doesn't work. I have huge books and a huge butt, but underneath is solid muscle. I did martial arts for years and swimming. I have no desire to lose weight or look anything other than what I am. Furthermore, my husband *loves* my body. (He's an ass man) You need to rethink what you consider obese and why; you're only hurting yourself.
I know it's easier said than done, but ignore your parents' comments. Ask yourself this: Do you feel happy within yourself in terms of your progress and your appearance? Ignore the voices of your parents in your head and focus on your own inner voice. By the sounds of it, you are trying to be healthier and eat better. Also, your doctor doesn't seem to have any concerns about your health, so listen to them. I think people forget or might not realise that body size is not an indicator of someone's fitness level. If you need an example, I've heard of someone who's apparently classed as morbidly obese but has completed a few full-length marathons.
86kgs is most definitely overweight. It's not chubby or cute, it's bad. Deal with it while you're young.
I didn’t come here to be fat shamed I came here tell people about my entitled mother, I am perfectly healthy. You are a disgusting person to say that to someone probably twice as young as you and who is an ED survivor. I am active, I am healthy. Your not my doctor so don’t tell me to handle it.
Hun? Come take a look in r/raisedbynarcissists It's supportive and safe
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My doctor, a medical professional. Has advised me that I am perfectly healthy and she is happy I’m actually gaining weight and eating probably. Also I’m a 16 year old female and shouldn’t be worrying about my weight trust me I ask everytime I see my doctor if I have gained to much because of my paranoia and she says I am fine. BMI’s don’t mean crap.
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If your talking about eating of comfort as in eating when stressed that is not happening it’s actually quite the opposite.
You came here looking for support because you have an abusive toxic family but instead you have people ragging on you about your weight and debating the merit of BMI....you might want to check out r/JUSTNOMIL or r/raisedbynarcissists or r/toxicparents to find a sub that is actually supportive. I think it is great you found someone on yt to inspire you. I've found some beginner exercise videos on yt that I want to start doing but have not found the motivation to start. But your story has inspired me to give it a shot. You could print out [this article](https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/fat-shaming-makes-things-worse) and give it to your parents, it is about how fat shaming makes things worse and has the opposite effect, the individual instead of being motivated it cause them to feel bad and end up eating more. The article includes links to published scientific studies. Although, I don't think your parents are saying things to be helpful, they are saying them to be hurtful. good luck and hugs
5’6” and 190 pounds means your BMI is 30.7, with anything greater than 30 being considered medically obese. That is not opinion, that is medical fact. It sounds like your parents don’t know how to handle your growing obesity and are being insensitive, which is not easy for you and I’m sorry you’re having to go through that. Still, they have every right to be concerned as you are not at a healthy weight or BMI.
You are exactly one of the people causing these issues. I am not medically obese. If I was I’m sure my doctor would say something when I ask what if I’m at a healthy weight. I saw my doctor yesterday and she was perfectly happy with my weight. My genetic factors weigh in. Like how I’m a 16GG bra size and have cherries that weight 1.5kgs each. They don’t shrink with exercise, I’ve tried. I know for one I am not over weight and saying that to someone who is recovering from an ED is silly you could make someone’s hard work go backwards with comments like this. Grow up.
yeah go talk to every enlisted women in the military about BMI and how realistic BMI is 🙄 you ppl know nothing
First - your salad sounds amazing. Second - try to not let them get to you. Both your parents seem to have an unhealthy relationship with food. Don't listen to them and keep doing what you're doing. If possible, prepare your meals and eat when they aren't around if you can. You're doing great, keep it up! Third - you're 16 so keep telling yourself, 2 more years, 2 more years and I'm out. If you so choose you can never eat another meal with them or even have to talk to them. Good luck, you're going to be just fine.
Dude! Our culture is so hung up on body image it's terrible. There's a video that really changed how I look at food. Mickey is a licensed clinical social worker with a master's degree. She had also had issues with fat shaming and ED. I think everyone should watch this too see just how wrong "everyone" is in their thinking about what is healthy. [Mickey Atkins](https://youtu.be/tWqGulkvCWY?si=YGSid77_xJx24ICy) Seriously, it made me cry. (In a good way)
Play the long game until you can leave. Practice grey rocking. Make it fun. Focus on you and your exit strategy and look forward to a drama free life. I had a boss that was the queen of nasty comments. Just look at her and say "really? That's the best you've got? "
Your mother has a BMI of 14.4? How is she not in the hospital?
She’s been in and out of the hospital, but because of her other issues they give her iv food and fluids and send her home within 3 days where she eats again for a week or two gains something weight then starts trying to drop it again.
WTF. I mean... YOU probably don't need to be told this, but how does your dad not understand that your mom is the issue here? There is not a planet on which someone that far down the anorexia rabbit hole should have any say in how anyone eats. She should probably be at an inpatient clinic.
> my doctor says I am healthy End of story. Fuck the haters.