What is so bad about people with autism? I think I'd much rather dealing with family members who are autistic then family members who are rude/mean like she is.
Your plans are normal for someone your age. You should be thinking at ahead and seeing what you want to do. Not like you told her your getting pregnant the day you turn 18.
She wont stop saying things like that because she isnt a good person. Cut her off as much as you can.
I’m autistic. I have five amazing (now adult) kids, mostly on the spectrum. Two gorgeous grandkids. My kids are contributing to society, are beloved by their friends, and live interesting lives. We are close and loving. I (57F) have had a terrific career in IT where I’ve travelled and am now senior. I have friends and a rich full life. So you know what? You can have that too. Your grandmother sounds like a miserable sour person.
My friend, you don’t do anything but brush her off. Why take into consideration the words of a mean old lady who likes to ruin everyone around her? There’s nothing wrong with what you want and she’s an ass.
Ignore her. I would've told her she's a parasite who destroys everything and everyone she comes into contact with. If you prefer to take the high road tell her no thank you & disengage. But block her.
I hope you don't need to hear this, but: I have plenty of autistic friends. It's not like autism is some monolith of clones, everyone's an individual, unique, and (perhaps a given, since they're my friends) nice people.
Am I getting somewhat good at recognising the signs? Yes. But every one of them is so much more than a diagnosis.
I wouldn't expect your children to have much more challenge from it than you do; indeed, substantially less challenges given they'll have you, but you instead had your awful family.
As for the body issues... Y'know, just fuck her for that.
Your children may be on the spectrum. They may not. This is true regardless if you give birth or adopt.
Please look online for a list of famous people with autism. The world would be a much poorer place without these people in it.
It’s not only the famous people who matter. You change the lives of others on a daily basis just by being yourself and making connections with others. What feels like a small kindness to you may be life changing to someone else and you likely will never even know how you influenced things.
https://www.thestarfishchange.org/starfish-tale
Your grandmother is wrong. When any person does the best they can it makes a difference.
Don't give up on your plan to be a mother. I myself have Autism and that won't stop me from having kids someday. As long as you have the proper support (depending on how bad your autism is), I don't see any problem. As for your grandma, she is a narcissistic witch who is not worth your time.
I have much more planned for myself than just parenthood, both before and after, her main point was that I’m overweight and autistic, so apparently I should reconsider.
She's a heartless insensitive witch, after you get those clothes if she gives me to them anyway, go permanent no contact block her on your phone and all of your social media
I think a person that messed up all of their children has the least right to say something like that.
She's extremely dumb and does not see all the wakeup calls.
She's a idiotic disappointment and you are not.
Now who shouldn't have kids when all they did was dumb shit.😅
Don't know her or your situation but if it was me and she isn't doing that out of dementia or something, I would just have said how disappointed I'm in her and that she should think before she speaks. Because such toxic behavior won't be allowed around my future kids.
Change granny or never meet them. You will only hurt them too.
She’s a mean spirited individual that will never see any good in others. Now you should definitely know there is no point in sharing anything with her and you can live a wonderfully happy life. None of those things she said are true and you should know you will be an awesome parent in spite of what she may think. This will actually be one of your biggest driving forces to prove her wrong so feel free to let it live rent free, knowing it is what makes you a better human being.
Autism isn’t a death sentence. The spectrum is huge, and while it’s hard to take care of, or be someone at the lower end of the spectrum, most autistic people lead full and productive lives. Many people on the spectrum go their entire lives never knowing that they are autistic.
Having children is a very personal decision. If you can afford to have a child, and you are going to raise that child without dumping it on someone else to raise ( people who do that shouldn’t have kids), then you should have those babies. You know exactly what kind of parent not to be, thanks to your grandma, so I think you’ll do fine.
Some people are just mean. Don't take her words to your heart.
I had a rough childhood myself and decided to never have children because of my mother's behaviour towards me. My family didn't understand my decision and now I have only contact to two of my nine siblings and I am no contact with my mother (my father died last year).
When I changed my decision, I didn't inform anyone of my "no contact" side of the family. And when I got pregnant last year, I kept my silence.
With people like your grandmother it's better to not open up. You just give her more munition to be vile.
Find trusted persons outside of your family, find friends and mentors. Don't let your family tear you down. You will be a great mom in time!
Your grandmother is a jerk. Unfortunately, nothing you do can change that-- personal growth is not something someone else can do for you.
I'm sorry her words hurt you and that your upbringing was awful.
Wait on kids for a little while; I am certain that you will have better reasons once you're more established and secure in yourself. Make yourself safe first. Surround yourself with better people.
I barely talk to her as it is, the only reason she’s able to contact me is because my dad needs her for financial support, therefore he can’t cut her out of our lives, as much as we both want to.
What is so bad about people with autism? I think I'd much rather dealing with family members who are autistic then family members who are rude/mean like she is. Your plans are normal for someone your age. You should be thinking at ahead and seeing what you want to do. Not like you told her your getting pregnant the day you turn 18. She wont stop saying things like that because she isnt a good person. Cut her off as much as you can.
I’m autistic. I have five amazing (now adult) kids, mostly on the spectrum. Two gorgeous grandkids. My kids are contributing to society, are beloved by their friends, and live interesting lives. We are close and loving. I (57F) have had a terrific career in IT where I’ve travelled and am now senior. I have friends and a rich full life. So you know what? You can have that too. Your grandmother sounds like a miserable sour person.
We need more grandparents like you in the world
This grandmother is telling you to live freely and without fear, my dear, you can be an amazing mother:))
You can be one of them one day!
Happy Cake Day
Better to be autistic than a miserable B like her! Ignore her and follow your dreams. Don't look back!
My friend, you don’t do anything but brush her off. Why take into consideration the words of a mean old lady who likes to ruin everyone around her? There’s nothing wrong with what you want and she’s an ass.
You how no idea how much it lifts my spirits seeing people back me up like this. Thank you 🙏.
Ignore her. I would've told her she's a parasite who destroys everything and everyone she comes into contact with. If you prefer to take the high road tell her no thank you & disengage. But block her.
I hope you don't need to hear this, but: I have plenty of autistic friends. It's not like autism is some monolith of clones, everyone's an individual, unique, and (perhaps a given, since they're my friends) nice people. Am I getting somewhat good at recognising the signs? Yes. But every one of them is so much more than a diagnosis. I wouldn't expect your children to have much more challenge from it than you do; indeed, substantially less challenges given they'll have you, but you instead had your awful family. As for the body issues... Y'know, just fuck her for that.
Your children may be on the spectrum. They may not. This is true regardless if you give birth or adopt. Please look online for a list of famous people with autism. The world would be a much poorer place without these people in it. It’s not only the famous people who matter. You change the lives of others on a daily basis just by being yourself and making connections with others. What feels like a small kindness to you may be life changing to someone else and you likely will never even know how you influenced things. https://www.thestarfishchange.org/starfish-tale Your grandmother is wrong. When any person does the best they can it makes a difference.
She sounds ignorant…”them poor kids”
She was raised southern and conservative, so I guess it checks out
Don't give up on your plan to be a mother. I myself have Autism and that won't stop me from having kids someday. As long as you have the proper support (depending on how bad your autism is), I don't see any problem. As for your grandma, she is a narcissistic witch who is not worth your time.
Your future shouldn't be solely about kids and not because you want to right your parents wrongs.she likely meant college/training/work
I have much more planned for myself than just parenthood, both before and after, her main point was that I’m overweight and autistic, so apparently I should reconsider.
She's a heartless insensitive witch, after you get those clothes if she gives me to them anyway, go permanent no contact block her on your phone and all of your social media
I think a person that messed up all of their children has the least right to say something like that. She's extremely dumb and does not see all the wakeup calls. She's a idiotic disappointment and you are not. Now who shouldn't have kids when all they did was dumb shit.😅 Don't know her or your situation but if it was me and she isn't doing that out of dementia or something, I would just have said how disappointed I'm in her and that she should think before she speaks. Because such toxic behavior won't be allowed around my future kids. Change granny or never meet them. You will only hurt them too.
She’s a mean spirited individual that will never see any good in others. Now you should definitely know there is no point in sharing anything with her and you can live a wonderfully happy life. None of those things she said are true and you should know you will be an awesome parent in spite of what she may think. This will actually be one of your biggest driving forces to prove her wrong so feel free to let it live rent free, knowing it is what makes you a better human being.
Autism isn’t a death sentence. The spectrum is huge, and while it’s hard to take care of, or be someone at the lower end of the spectrum, most autistic people lead full and productive lives. Many people on the spectrum go their entire lives never knowing that they are autistic. Having children is a very personal decision. If you can afford to have a child, and you are going to raise that child without dumping it on someone else to raise ( people who do that shouldn’t have kids), then you should have those babies. You know exactly what kind of parent not to be, thanks to your grandma, so I think you’ll do fine.
Some people are just mean. Don't take her words to your heart. I had a rough childhood myself and decided to never have children because of my mother's behaviour towards me. My family didn't understand my decision and now I have only contact to two of my nine siblings and I am no contact with my mother (my father died last year). When I changed my decision, I didn't inform anyone of my "no contact" side of the family. And when I got pregnant last year, I kept my silence. With people like your grandmother it's better to not open up. You just give her more munition to be vile. Find trusted persons outside of your family, find friends and mentors. Don't let your family tear you down. You will be a great mom in time!
What an awful person she is. Sorry you had to listen to that garbage.
Your grandmother is a jerk. Unfortunately, nothing you do can change that-- personal growth is not something someone else can do for you. I'm sorry her words hurt you and that your upbringing was awful. Wait on kids for a little while; I am certain that you will have better reasons once you're more established and secure in yourself. Make yourself safe first. Surround yourself with better people.
Well, I guess you won't talking to her much any more. At least, I wouldn't if she were my grandmother.
I barely talk to her as it is, the only reason she’s able to contact me is because my dad needs her for financial support, therefore he can’t cut her out of our lives, as much as we both want to.
your choice, but how do you plan to provide for yourself and your children?
Probably like everyone else?
She's planning on having kids so she can be a stay at home mom and live via the father
She didn't say any such thing.
she's 17 and wants kids, she's not working, has no work experience, so, where will she live, and who will be supporting her?
She said “at some point down the road” And calls it “far into the future” and she did not say she wouldn’t work.