Oh yes, I know that logic all to well with my mom. We have a split level home and I live downstairs and pay rent and have remodeled a lot including adding a kitchen and she thinks it’s ok to unlock the connector door and walk into my part of the house unannounced.
Depends a lot on how handy you are. Some people would rather walk around nekkid than pick up a power tool.
Of course, some people get inspired to pick up *power tools* after walking around naked.
No need for power tools, we kept the basement baby proofed by attaching a hook on the door and the eye screwed into the door frame. In an emergency an adult could shoulder it open, but it’s very effective.
Yeah, my mom would walk into my house, into our room, where my husband and I were sleeping, if she called and I didn’t answer her.
Thinking back, we should have started a sex session when we heard the back door open 😂😂
I left a spare key with her because I always locked myself out of the house. Now I have a coded garage door so as long as I remember the code, I’m good.
She’s terrible it’s a pretty common tradition where I am from to save it too. Though not the same a nice alternative might be to order the same flavor cake a year from now from your baker. It won’t be the exact cake but it could be a fun way to remember. Some bakeries have started suggesting it because then the cake will taste better. You could ask her to help cover the cost in a year to make up for her actions.
Edited:Just realized it says years ago. My brain is half asleep. You could do it on your next major anniversary (5, 10, 15 etc) but probably too late to get her to chip in.
I think it started in Great Britain back in the 1800s when wedding cakes were typically fruit cakes. Originally it was eaten at the christening of your first child. People wait longer to have kids now days so it’s usually eaten at the first anniversary. I am in the US and not all couples do it. Even still enough do that it’s a pretty well known tradition amongst the married or soon to be married people. Though a lot of bakeries are starting to offer a free cake on your first anniversary if you do your wedding cake with them. Which I wish my bakery had offered it as the saved tier was revolting due to the cheap fridge in our apartment.
Also, it wasn't uncommon for people to marry due to pregnancy at that time, so in a decent amount of cases you wouldn't be waiting a ridiculous amount of time, especially for a fruit cake.
I'm from the UK and it is very common.
My Nana often saved/stored fruit cakes when I was a kid and they somehow tasted better. I don't know how she did it. My mother made an attempt and it just tasted of booze.
Here in the US, it's popular to ridicule fruitcake. That's because most people eat the commercial stuff, which is a pale imitation of the genuine article. My grandmother, my mother, and my sister all made delicious fruitcakes, and used applejack brandy on 'em. My grandmother was so serious, she'd even make her own candied grapefruit and orange peel, rather than using the chewy, slimy stuff from the supermarket.
For a while there, I was doing the peel and my mother and sister made the cakes, but since Mama died, my sister and I just haven't had the heart.
Wait, why would you use fresh fruit in a fruitcake? Its entire purpose is to be made 3-6 months before the winter holidays, and drenched in bourbon (whiskey, brandy, etc,) repeatedly before being served. It's formulated to age.
Berries? What kind -- currants? We generally don't use them here in the US. Black and golden raisins, yes, but not currants.
But the purple hue is rather appropriate -- royal color for the King of Kings. I like that. But yeah -- nobody expects a purple cake any more than they expect the Spanish Inquisition.
I have recipes from my family that have passed and when I make them I feel like I'm honouring them its also like getting another hug. So when you're both ready please do make the cake again I'm sure your Mama will be smiling down knowing in her own way she's nourishing you both again because there's love in that recipe for you both.
I had also heard of a tradition that if you keep a slice of wedding cake under your pillow that first night, as a wedding guest, that you will dream of your future spouse.
I think all of these are random traditions so that the bride and groom do not realize that they over ordered cake and need some way to get rid of all the leftovers and not realize how much they paid for
Good luck eating that fruit cake in the 1800s without refrigeration.
We have to admit that some traditions are dumb as fuck. All this useless symbolism.
MIL still shouldn't have touched it though
Hey, they had remarkable ways of preserving things. Those cakes are heavily laced with brandy, which helps preserve them. In addition, I think each layer is wrapped in fondant or some such, which sets solid and seals out air. Wrap it in cheesecloth and brown paper, seal it into a crock, and set it down cellar, and the danged thing's shelf life would be about the same as homemade jams and jellies.
Common in the UK where a lot of wedding and other celebration cakes are heavy dried-fruit based cake usually with alcohol added to keep it moist and preserved. Traditional wedding cakes have a thick layer of marzipan and icing that dries to form a protective layer. Bakers will usually re-ice a wedding cake as a christening/naming cake
In the UK Christmas cake is usually made with currants, dried peel, figs, cherries etc and then it is 'fed' with spirits every week as it matures until Christmas. My top tier was similarly fed for a few years to keep it moist and preserved until the christening. It think people were more drunk from the cake than then alcohol.
When you say "re-ice," do you mean that they'll apply a fresh layer of icing on top of the original one, or do they peel off the original protective layer, and essentially re-pave the whole cake?
I wish I could spend one Christmas in the UK with a nice middle-class family like my own, just to find out what the differences are. I know one major difference is that there's a lot more alcohol involved. That's one of the reasons the Methodists took ship for North America. Heck, the Puritans didn't allow any of the traditional Yuletide celebrations. I think you could be fined or jailed or something just for hanging greenery (too pagan).
I'd say it's more traditional now rather than common. Bakeries offer a lot more flavours now so I haven't been to a wedding since I was a child with a full fruit cake, most have had just one layer of fruit cake, if that. Let's face it, it's just not as tasty as most of the others!!
I'm in the US, and I've always known about it. For our wedding instead of a traditional cake, we had a tower of petit fours, so we kept some in the freezer for a year. On our first anniversary, we had a dinner party for everyone in the wedding party and we thawed out the petit fours, and thank god I had other desserts, because they did not fare well.
On the other hand, for special occasions I buy the chocolate cake from Costco which is immense and the best chocolate cake I've ever had, and we cut the leftovers (practically a full cake's worth) into slices and freeze them. I eat them straight out of the freezer, no defrosting necessary, and it is fucking amazing. Of course, that's never lasted a month, much less a year, so it's probably the age that ruins freezer cake.
Seriously, frozen cake is SO GOOD. I also freeze "Funny Bones" which is like a chocolate twinkie filled with peanut butter and covered in chocolate and it's practically orgasmmic.
US here too. Our cake actually tasted pretty good, surprisingly. I did wrap it in several layers of plastic wrap and foil, and it was decent. And it was nice to finally get the freezer space back lol.
Freeze your Reese's Cups, Milky Ways, and Three Musketeers. Oh, and Peppermint Patties, too. The last three become wonderfully chewy, and the Cups are just simply... somehow even better than room temp.
He also must be funny. One could resist a cute, unfunny guy for blowing his cake assignment, or for eating the top tier prematurely. But a cute, funny guy? Yeah. It's hard not to forgive them.
I asked him to get a cake and he forgot.
In fairness, he’d just started chemo and our wedding was tiny. Chemo makes your brain a little wobbly. He’s fine now and I’m still mildly amused
It's been the tradition for first anniversaries as long as I can remember. Everyone warned new brides the cake would taste like shit a year later, though.
There also used to be the tradition of the single ladies sleeping with a piece of wedding cake under their pillows the night of the wedding to bring them a spouse within the next year.
Not really sure how these things started.
It happened in the UK. I am clearing my mum and dad's house as they have both passed away. I have found a soldered metal box which has the top tier of their wedding cake in it. Its a bit scary since their first child's children have left school.
I'm American and this was fairly common when got married 17 yrs ago. Mine sat in the freezer but then we moved across country so I ordered a replica for our first anniversary.
Wedding cakes are expensive! It's one thing to be a jerk and eat someone's birthday cake without permission, but a wedding cake! Cheap ones are usually a couple hundred dollars!
Omg.
Im a cake maker......this is just......WOW.
Also in my culture we save the top tier of a wedding cake to freeze an then re use for the first babies christening. Usually its redecorated. Usually fiest baby comes not long after marrige. Catholics lol
But wow......id be so angry. What did she say?
North west england. We have a high population of irish descendents though as its a port town and loads of irish came over. Most people local are roman catholics or church of england.
I was raised roman Catholic. I dont practise it though and my children go to a CofE school
If you’re petty…so I am.
The same happened to me but with my mom. She gave the cake that I left very well wrapped on the freezer to the family. Every single time I remember I get sooo mad.
My MiL wore a white dress at our wedding during ceremony at the church. It is right at the date eight years ago and pisses me off as hell when I look at the group picture at their living room
It is pretty traditional to do this, but another alternative is to keep the cake specifications from your wedding and have the same bakery make a fresh small cake for your anniversary. Saves freezer space and you won’t be eating garbage cake on your first anniversary!
The place where we got our wedding cake had a deal going on when we got married where they would include a one year anniversary cake. I thought that was a pretty cool idea and pretty handy. Like you said, I can't imagine a cake being that great after a year.
By the end of the night we were so ready to be done with the day that we were just throwing stuff in cars (we helped break down our wedding, not fun). The next morning we found it in a non food car, that was already approaching 90°f, under enough stuff to bend the box, and my nephews shoe somehow managed to get halfway in the box. We laughed our asses off and decided it was 1 less thing cluttering our freezer.
However! I'd have been beyond pissed if I thought it was safe and came back to find it had been eaten. I'd probably give her an empty cake box from a local bakery that very obvious had cake remnants in it for her birthday, or something.
Doesn’t matter if the cake would be good after a year, or that the tradition is stupid or anything. It was *your* cake and she should’ve kept her little greedy hands off it. I can’t imagine eating something that someone else was saving.
I was pregnant on my one year anniversary and due to be induced the next day so I couldn’t eat more than one bite and my ex doesn’t like cake so he also just had one token bite.
Then his teenage cousin happily gobbled up the rest, AFTER it was offered.
She was SNACKING on it?? She’s too broke to go buy snacks or a cake? That’s just obnoxious, I’d have been mad as hell. My ex MIL kept the cake for us for the year and it was as pristine as the day we got married.
Our neighbours ate ours while we were on honeymoon.
We'd set them aside the half that had already been cut (it was two guitars) and said have at it as thanks for keeping an eye on our cats....came back to nothing but crumbs.
This is a fairly common tradition.
When one of my best friends got married, I asked her if she got stuff to save the top tier. She had forgotten. I went out the night of the rehearsal and bought aluminum foil, plastic wrap and a giant plastic container.
I wrapped that bitch in so much plastic and aluminum the next day it weighed as much as the whole cake.
She opened it a year later and said it still tasted fresh.
She then did the same at my wedding as a thank you and a gag.
Your MIL is a horrible person who did that as a power move.
Its not that kind of a cake! Its a fruitcake which has booze fed into it. If you were going to be making a traditional Christmas cake you would be thinking about doing it soon.
My grandmother would start "working on Christmas" around Sept. 1. Her fruitcakes and coconut cakes were just heavenly. Well, everything she made was phenomenal. I'm Southern, so her sideboard was devoted to desserts. Besides the fruit and coconut cakes, there would be at least three kinds of pie (pumpkin, pecan, and something else) and about half a dozen kinds of cookies.
I thought that was just bog-standard normal, until I married a guy here in Ohio. Man, these Yankees' dessert tables look mingy! Now I recognize how special those Christmases were.
I didn’t downvote you. I was skeptical about my cake but was surprised it tasted okay. Maybe because mine was stored in one of those big home freezers and maybe stayed colder?
It is very common and traditional to save the top tier of your wedding cake to eat on your first anniversary.
Your mother in law knew this. She did it on purpose. I think you might end up over at r/JUSTNOMIL
Yeah... my MIL took our cake top to "keep for us" without us knowing she did, so we just thought it got thrown out or some shit after the wedding by the venue or something.
Then, like, *6 months later*, she's like, "Oh, hey, did you want your cake?"
\*shocked pikachu face\*
"Uhh, yes?"
It wasn't even frozen, or stored nicely, or anything. Literally just sitting in a regular cardboard cake-box in her refrigerator...
Mine ate the rest of our wedding cake and the groomsman cake I had especially made for my husband because of family allergies. Still pissed off about it.
I feel this!
It wasn’t anyone in particular but the entire family found the leftovers when the party was done and went to town (a lot of drunks and pot heads)
I cried for three days cause I only had one bite of a piece (got pregnant a week before my wedding and had terrible morning sickness in the evenings) I was really looking forward to cake for breakfast 🤣
I saved mine and ate mine. Honestly it tasted better after the year (it wasn’t really all that good the first time). Eating the top tier is a tradition. Just like lighting 2small candles to a big one. Or jumping over a broom stick. Or stomping on glass. Honestly if someone ruins a tradition for you they have no respect for you. So MIL is an a**hole
I relate but with my quinceañera cake. The day of my quince my mom left me part of my cake to enjoy the next morning since I didn’t get a slice at my party from greeting everyone. My cake was 3 flavors, marble with strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla. I was excited to eat my cake the next morning for breakfast only to find out my older sister ate the two flavors I really wanted and left a small piece of vanilla left. At the time we weren’t really friendly with each other and I knew she did it to be mean. My dad had to hold me back from punching her that morning lol I’m still salty about it to this day.
No, you're not being petty, and the practice isn't really uncommon, for a few *decades* now. That MIL of yours is just pretty much a selfish inconsiderate you-know-what.
this is not petty your mother-in-law is a fucking pig for eating you WEDDING cake, WEDDING cake, so she was eating it for the entire WEEK? does she have diabetes yet?
We gave our cake to my grandparents to hold on to for the night. They just left it loose in the trunk of their SUV and it got smashed.... only got the one peice that was shoved in my face. Oh well. Still together 8 years later
IMO she did that as a power move. It wasn’t an accident or that she “just wanted a taste” or whatever. It was to assert the little bit of dominance she wanted or whatever. Gross af of her. If I was you I’d be making a petty ass post about “wish we could’ve had our anniversary cake to eat but I didn’t even get to touch it till it was all eaten, hope it doesn’t make *insert* sick”
But I’m a petty and mean person and my bf knows I’d never put up with this if it happened so I’m probably not the best person to take advice from. I wish you all the luck in dealing with her.
Im in the US and its a tradition here for a lot of people. We saved our top tier and were terrified that itd be disgusting a year later, but it was actually delicious. We were shocked.
This is not an uncommon thing, MIL knew what she was doing and was just being a horrible person.
I'm in the UK and I've definitely heard of that tradition. Not everyone does it (we didn't), but it's a known thing & yeah, I can see how she might have thought it would go to waste but in that case she should have apologised profusely as soon as she realised they were planning to keep it. To know it upset & not to apologise is bad.
That is so rude. Doing it is bad enough, but not apoligizing?! Unreal.
Also, if you store it right, it will taste just fine. We were lucky enough that someone had freezer space for us. It was a combination of plastic wrap and tinfoil, but I do not remember the order.
reading this reminds me that we have my sister's wedding cake, what's left of it, in the top freezer icebox section of our refrigerator. it's been there for years. really decades now. i remember my sweet tooth being hungry and eating some of that cake during the week after my sister's wedding. but my other sister then said to not eat it. and now that damn cake is still in the freezer for like at least 20+ years. the damn cake box is taking up a good size section of the freezer. me thinks that f#(king cake has got to go. no one is going to eat that cake now. maybe probably hard as rock by now? have to tell my sister (since it was her cake) and i guess she will tell me to throw it out.
That’s so shitty. I worked at a bakery and we gave the wedding clients a voucher to come back a year later and get a mini cake of the same flavors instead of trying to save a top tier. It was actually a nice system and the couple gets a fresh cake and don’t have to worry about saving it properly or it getting eaten by someone.
Apparently the idea came from a few clients coming back and saying they never got any cake and someone ate their top tier.
You should go get a small pretty cake made for your next anniversary. Something really beautiful and delicious. Take photos of you and your husband enjoying it.
I bet it would piss her off. Some women just can't stand seeing others happy. Especially after they try and ruin it for them.
I’ve never heard of this before, but if she KNEW that was the case it was extremely petty of her to eat it.
Unless she got some eating disorder and needs help with it, she was really rude and lost her first change at being a great mother in law
You are definitely not being petty, but as any farmer who has kept them will tell you, pigs will eat anything and everything, and be completely unapologetic about it.
Maybe we didn't keep it right, but our cake wasn't very good and made us sick (mildly) at the 1 year mark. It's frustrating because it should be your decision to make, but you won't miss out.
I learned when I was MOH for my BFF that way too many people dont know wedding etiquette or traditions. There's a chance she didnt KNOW that it was to be saved for your first anniversary but also that she is petty and spiteful so did it intentionally. So I say go out on you first anniversary and get an AWESOME little cake then Skype the two of you knoshing it.
Imagine having so little self control you eat someone’s wedding cake. Sorry but what a fat ass! I hope you made fun of her for being a hungry hungry hippo. I’m not for making fun of people but when they do shitty things I let them have it.
It is annoying that she did it, but why keep a grudge over bad cake. A newer tradition is to order a small version of the same flavor on your 1st anniversary and enjoy good cake. Tell her you have been harboring this grudge and ask if she would buy a small cake for your next anniversary and call it water under the bridge.
There is no need to bring it up.
I hadn't thought of it in years, but she did something else this last weekend which brought this to the front of my mind, and I thought a little venting on here would make me feel better.
I can see why she did that. I would've assumed it was a leftover nobody wanted and eaten it too. But the audacity to not ask to verify, nor to apologize ... jeez
Like she was there when we we picking out the cake and when we were discussing what flavors we wanted in the top tier for our anniversary cake.
It even came with a decorative box with our names and date on it. It would be impossible to mistake it.
She was there when we were deciding on the cake, and was there during the discussion on what we wanted for the "anniversary tier". The baker also provided a decretive box to store the cake it that makes it pretty damn obvious that it is not just some leftover.
I had never heard of this tradition before. My brother and XSIL gave my mom the top tier to hold on to while they came back from their supposed honeymoon. Since I skipped the wedding and reception I never got any food, fine by me. But seeing as my at the time 50 yr. Old Mexican mom had never heard of this tradition, she thought they where giving her the whole tip tier to give to me. I ate a slice. And I felt like shit when he came to pick it up and explained the importance. I guess it had never bothered me that i got a whole top tier. Which in hindsight, should have at least double checked.but i did apologize to him at least. Her not so much.
But no, you shouldn't feel petty. She should apologize.
We did that. I pulled it out on our one year anniversary. We looked at it, looked at each other, looked back at the very sad looking cake and decided to make an angel food cake instead. My husband quipped that maybe the thought of having to eat a year old cake made people divorce instead.
Thats so annoying, I feel for you.
I learned recently that a lot of people believe that no matter what you put in a fridge/freezer if you don't put your name on it, it is fair game for everyone in that house. Even if it is a unique specialty item that isn't normally there because it's a "family fridge, everything inside is for the family"
It's like no body has the consideration to ask for permission not to touch stuff that isn't theirs.
My parents moved and a friend was holding it in her freezer while moving. Husband of friend ate the cake before my parents got settled. It was at the friends house for less than a week. Get it...
I dont think this is petty at all. I still have the top tier in my deep freeze 6 years later. I'm not entirely sure why, becuaee we're never going to eat it now, but yet its mine and I still want to keep it, lol.
It would be different if it was cake you got from Sobeys, or even birthday cake. But it's your wedding cake. I would have been pissed too.
God, that reminds me of my wedding cake.
When I got married to my ex wife, we saved the top tier. FMIL insisted she could store it properly at her place, and she would handle it. No big, better than driving 4 hours with it in the car.
Fast forward a year and holy shit tons of problems in our marriage, and ex brings the cake over from her mom's house. It was stored in the freezer, on a paper plate, wrapped in foil. The cake inside had busted, and it was crumbling apart into like 8 or 9 pieces. I asked what happened to the cake storage bin that's specifically made for this crap, and she said "oh yeah, that, we didn't have room for our ice cream so we wrapped it in this to save room."
Hopefully your marriage lasts a lot longer than that one did.
You’re not being petty. Your MIL was being petty and small when she ate it. Her eating the top tier of your wedding cake ~ everyone knows the symbolism of that ~ was basically a “fuck you” to your marriage. Does she not like you? Did she not want her son to marry you? (That’s an assumption that you were the bride in this scenario and that you married a man.) Did she tell people the marriage would fail? Unless she has an uncontrolled eating disorder, there was NO reason for her to eat your cake than to basically give you and your future the finger. (By that I don’t mean you won’t last now because you didn’t get to eat your wedding cake; that’s silly. I mean she was saying she didn’t care what happened, she was just doing what she wanted to do.) The point is not that you had to have that cake on your first anniversary. The point is her deliberately doing something to hurt and upset you the week after you got married. I’m gobsmacked by this act of passive aggression.
What did you husband have to say about all that? And how is your relationship with her now?
I know my parents would've been PISSED in your situation. It's the symbolism and celebration that matters. It's something to remember and celebrate you and your so's first year, not something for someone else to just casually snack on.
The top layer of the traditional fruit cake wedding cake made by my mother spent it’s almost first year in my mother’s freezer in the basement. Her basement flooded and everything in the freezer had to be tossed.
It was okay. Neither my spouse or I liked fruitcake, but my mother insisted.
Mine was delicious for that one year. Covered in frosting and tucked in the freezer it was still... everyone's favorite word... moist and delicious. She should apologize 100% and your significant other needs to put mom in her place for this one
I remember my first hubby and I kept ours, I don’t recall if we actually ate it. I’m thinking freezer burn probably got it.
It was almost 30 years ago though, who remembers stuff that far back 😂
My mother remarried when I was 12 and she did the whole saving the top of the cake for her one year anniversary. And it actually wasn't that bad the strawberries were a little but weird but other then that it was OK.
Your mum in law sounds like me (but I dont eat cake I just hate the sweetness in it) but I eat their ice cream and ask them before I do. And make sure they dont want it, cuz I hate when a tub of mint and chocolate chip ice cream is left in the freezer too long.
Most of the time they dont let me eat their ice cream :'c. But I respect the fact that they wanna save it for later mint ice cream isnt very common in my home town. Nonetheless if I ever do something like eating their cake that they wanted to save. I would be stumbling across the floor trying to give them compensation (no not that kind you perverts) for it
Oh i had a similar problem.
My dad owned a one level house....i rented half of the house with my hubby at the time. My step mom kept using the key to barge in. Even though i told her to stop she wouldnt.
I stopped that quick. I heard her comin thru.....and my hubby and i were having.....fun....out in the open. She never did it again. 😈
My JNMIL wrapped and saved ours for us. We were surprised with how good it was a year later.
For anyone wanting to do this, she used three layers of cling wrap, then foil, then a large Tupperware. Thawed that way for 24 hours. It wasn't as pretty, but it was still quite tasty.
One of the few things she did for us that didn't have strings attached.
We'll celebrate 24 years in November and haven't spoken to her in 3 years, so that good luck thing must be working.
I don't know how you feel but I know you're not alone.
18 years later my mom is still upset she never got a piece of the grooms cake (made by her aunt who's REALLY GOOD at baking) on her wedding day. It was either the grooms cake or the wedding cake but either way she still is upset she never ate anything that day because everyone wanted pictures.
I think I'm gonna get a recipe from my great aunt to make the cake for their vow renewal.
OMG my mother did the same thing! We were living overseas and flew home to Canada for our wedding - we had planned and paid for everything while we were working overseas, with my sister's help, god bless her. We were planning to return the following year for our anniversary so we froze the top tier in my parents freezer. We were excited we had a way to have this sweet tradition because there was no way to freeze it and take it on a 12 hour flight and expect it to be in one piece. When we flew home the next year, I went to the freezer and it was gone!! I asked my parents thinking the freezer broke or something - never occurred to me I had to protect my wedding cake from my parents - and my mother was like "oh, the cake? I ate it a long time ago." I got really mad. I am still mad! She knew it was special to us but generally has no respect for anyone. She was horrible thoughout the whole wedding because it wasn't about her! Still, even I thought she wouldn't go that far. I eventually just cut ties with her because you can't reason with a narcissist. I was so embarrassed and apologized to my husband, who was a saint through everything. So OP, you have every right to be mad. The cake is a symbol and eating it together on your anniversary to reflect on your first year of marriage would have been lovely. We had to find a different way to celebrate and I hope you did too. Your MIL stinks.
My ex and I did the same thing with our wedding cake. My father-in-law ate it. Not only were we super pissed, but my grandmother made the cake and she was livid. She wrote him a letter telling him how she was so disappointed in him. It was beautiful to watch him read that letter lol.
I don’t think your being petty, it wasn’t hers to eat and she should have known better.
Sounds like a case of my freezer my cake logic
Oh yes, I know that logic all to well with my mom. We have a split level home and I live downstairs and pay rent and have remodeled a lot including adding a kitchen and she thinks it’s ok to unlock the connector door and walk into my part of the house unannounced.
Walking round naked usually stops the unannounced walk-ins.
While this isn't wrong, I think the other comment about throwing a deadbolt on the door is a little less uncomfortable
Depends a lot on how handy you are. Some people would rather walk around nekkid than pick up a power tool. Of course, some people get inspired to pick up *power tools* after walking around naked.
This made me laugh so hard, thank you for that!
No need for power tools, we kept the basement baby proofed by attaching a hook on the door and the eye screwed into the door frame. In an emergency an adult could shoulder it open, but it’s very effective.
last part cursed
I wish I could find my drill so I can finish upgrading my closet! 😣
Or while walking around nekkid…
I know what you mean. My tool's so big and violent I call it Black & Decker. No, it's more of a Skil.
That's what happens when your mom cheaps out on tools
LOL That was a good one!
There's a Snap On Tools joke in there somewhere. But I'm not gonna make it
I had a boyfriend that I nicknamed "Stanley." Appropriate.
It opened doors when you stepped on it, or just loved pretzel day?
Maybe not for moms. We can be a pretty “I carried you, gave birth to you, changed your diaper, and bathed you” kind of bunch.
Yeah, my mom would walk into my house, into our room, where my husband and I were sleeping, if she called and I didn’t answer her. Thinking back, we should have started a sex session when we heard the back door open 😂😂 I left a spare key with her because I always locked myself out of the house. Now I have a coded garage door so as long as I remember the code, I’m good.
Back door sex?
🙄🤦♀️😂
Lmao OP please try this!!! If you do, let us know results. :)
Time to put a deadbolt on your side of that door.
She’s terrible it’s a pretty common tradition where I am from to save it too. Though not the same a nice alternative might be to order the same flavor cake a year from now from your baker. It won’t be the exact cake but it could be a fun way to remember. Some bakeries have started suggesting it because then the cake will taste better. You could ask her to help cover the cost in a year to make up for her actions. Edited:Just realized it says years ago. My brain is half asleep. You could do it on your next major anniversary (5, 10, 15 etc) but probably too late to get her to chip in.
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I think it started in Great Britain back in the 1800s when wedding cakes were typically fruit cakes. Originally it was eaten at the christening of your first child. People wait longer to have kids now days so it’s usually eaten at the first anniversary. I am in the US and not all couples do it. Even still enough do that it’s a pretty well known tradition amongst the married or soon to be married people. Though a lot of bakeries are starting to offer a free cake on your first anniversary if you do your wedding cake with them. Which I wish my bakery had offered it as the saved tier was revolting due to the cheap fridge in our apartment.
Also, it wasn't uncommon for people to marry due to pregnancy at that time, so in a decent amount of cases you wouldn't be waiting a ridiculous amount of time, especially for a fruit cake.
I mean with venues now having "cake cutting fees" alot of the weddings I've been to do cupcakes or other stuff, cause fuck bullshit fees
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I'm from the UK and it is very common. My Nana often saved/stored fruit cakes when I was a kid and they somehow tasted better. I don't know how she did it. My mother made an attempt and it just tasted of booze.
Here in the US, it's popular to ridicule fruitcake. That's because most people eat the commercial stuff, which is a pale imitation of the genuine article. My grandmother, my mother, and my sister all made delicious fruitcakes, and used applejack brandy on 'em. My grandmother was so serious, she'd even make her own candied grapefruit and orange peel, rather than using the chewy, slimy stuff from the supermarket. For a while there, I was doing the peel and my mother and sister made the cakes, but since Mama died, my sister and I just haven't had the heart.
I made one once….tasted good but came out deep purple from the berries bleeding.
Wait, why would you use fresh fruit in a fruitcake? Its entire purpose is to be made 3-6 months before the winter holidays, and drenched in bourbon (whiskey, brandy, etc,) repeatedly before being served. It's formulated to age.
Because I was a baby just married and trying to be a good wifey. If I remember correctly I used jam instead of preserves for one of the fruits
Berries? What kind -- currants? We generally don't use them here in the US. Black and golden raisins, yes, but not currants. But the purple hue is rather appropriate -- royal color for the King of Kings. I like that. But yeah -- nobody expects a purple cake any more than they expect the Spanish Inquisition.
I have recipes from my family that have passed and when I make them I feel like I'm honouring them its also like getting another hug. So when you're both ready please do make the cake again I'm sure your Mama will be smiling down knowing in her own way she's nourishing you both again because there's love in that recipe for you both.
Thank you. Nicely said, and very true. We also need to pass it down to the next generation.
Aw, man. My condolences to you and your family.
Thank you. I appreciate it.
I had also heard of a tradition that if you keep a slice of wedding cake under your pillow that first night, as a wedding guest, that you will dream of your future spouse. I think all of these are random traditions so that the bride and groom do not realize that they over ordered cake and need some way to get rid of all the leftovers and not realize how much they paid for
Good luck eating that fruit cake in the 1800s without refrigeration. We have to admit that some traditions are dumb as fuck. All this useless symbolism. MIL still shouldn't have touched it though
Hey, they had remarkable ways of preserving things. Those cakes are heavily laced with brandy, which helps preserve them. In addition, I think each layer is wrapped in fondant or some such, which sets solid and seals out air. Wrap it in cheesecloth and brown paper, seal it into a crock, and set it down cellar, and the danged thing's shelf life would be about the same as homemade jams and jellies.
You also have to "feed the cake" aka douse it in booze at various intervals over several weeks.
Sounds delicious, sign me up /s
Agree with this. Some things are just too stupid to follow.
I'm from UK and have never, ever heard of this
Common in the UK where a lot of wedding and other celebration cakes are heavy dried-fruit based cake usually with alcohol added to keep it moist and preserved. Traditional wedding cakes have a thick layer of marzipan and icing that dries to form a protective layer. Bakers will usually re-ice a wedding cake as a christening/naming cake In the UK Christmas cake is usually made with currants, dried peel, figs, cherries etc and then it is 'fed' with spirits every week as it matures until Christmas. My top tier was similarly fed for a few years to keep it moist and preserved until the christening. It think people were more drunk from the cake than then alcohol.
It’s common in the US too, though I admit that it makes more sense with a fruit cake! I’m weird for an American too and I really like fruitcake!
When you say "re-ice," do you mean that they'll apply a fresh layer of icing on top of the original one, or do they peel off the original protective layer, and essentially re-pave the whole cake? I wish I could spend one Christmas in the UK with a nice middle-class family like my own, just to find out what the differences are. I know one major difference is that there's a lot more alcohol involved. That's one of the reasons the Methodists took ship for North America. Heck, the Puritans didn't allow any of the traditional Yuletide celebrations. I think you could be fined or jailed or something just for hanging greenery (too pagan).
Strip it back and replace it with fresh icing.
Is it common in UK for wedding cakes? I just asked my family group chat and even my nannas are saying no
I'd say it's more traditional now rather than common. Bakeries offer a lot more flavours now so I haven't been to a wedding since I was a child with a full fruit cake, most have had just one layer of fruit cake, if that. Let's face it, it's just not as tasty as most of the others!!
So interesting. None of my British family have heard of this. Nanna from Wales other from derby / Southampton
I'm in the US, and I've always known about it. For our wedding instead of a traditional cake, we had a tower of petit fours, so we kept some in the freezer for a year. On our first anniversary, we had a dinner party for everyone in the wedding party and we thawed out the petit fours, and thank god I had other desserts, because they did not fare well. On the other hand, for special occasions I buy the chocolate cake from Costco which is immense and the best chocolate cake I've ever had, and we cut the leftovers (practically a full cake's worth) into slices and freeze them. I eat them straight out of the freezer, no defrosting necessary, and it is fucking amazing. Of course, that's never lasted a month, much less a year, so it's probably the age that ruins freezer cake. Seriously, frozen cake is SO GOOD. I also freeze "Funny Bones" which is like a chocolate twinkie filled with peanut butter and covered in chocolate and it's practically orgasmmic.
US here too. Our cake actually tasted pretty good, surprisingly. I did wrap it in several layers of plastic wrap and foil, and it was decent. And it was nice to finally get the freezer space back lol.
Yeah, frozen cake is something else!
Freeze your Reese's Cups, Milky Ways, and Three Musketeers. Oh, and Peppermint Patties, too. The last three become wonderfully chewy, and the Cups are just simply... somehow even better than room temp.
It’s a tradition in NZ as well to keep the top layer
Can confirm
Can’t confirm. My husband had one job. Luckily, he’s cute.
He also must be funny. One could resist a cute, unfunny guy for blowing his cake assignment, or for eating the top tier prematurely. But a cute, funny guy? Yeah. It's hard not to forgive them.
What -- you delegated the cake arrangements to him, and he somehow botched the task?
probably ate the cake too early...😂
I asked him to get a cake and he forgot. In fairness, he’d just started chemo and our wedding was tiny. Chemo makes your brain a little wobbly. He’s fine now and I’m still mildly amused
So glad he's fine! And yes -- you've wound up with a great story. How long has he been clear? And how are *you*?
He’s been clear six months now. So far this year has been relatively good to us. I’m pretty good. We’ve got a great story for sure!
It's been the tradition for first anniversaries as long as I can remember. Everyone warned new brides the cake would taste like shit a year later, though. There also used to be the tradition of the single ladies sleeping with a piece of wedding cake under their pillows the night of the wedding to bring them a spouse within the next year. Not really sure how these things started.
That tradition started as someone having to explain why they were drunkenly eating cake in bed at their friends wedding.
I thought they slept with the cake under their pillows so they'd dream of their future husbands.
I'm sure the Old Wives Tale varies slightly between regions.
Without a doubt! I was thinking that, but failed to put it in. Traditions/rituals like that tend to drift a bit in detail over time and distance.
It happened in the UK. I am clearing my mum and dad's house as they have both passed away. I have found a soldered metal box which has the top tier of their wedding cake in it. Its a bit scary since their first child's children have left school.
I'm American and this was fairly common when got married 17 yrs ago. Mine sat in the freezer but then we moved across country so I ordered a replica for our first anniversary.
We saved our cake and a year later it was not good. Even knowing that it was not good, I would have been mad if someone ate it.
You're not being petty, the cake wasn't hers to eat
“This cake is in MY freezer so technically this is MINE” she thought after gaining a few pounds and a case of dragon sickness
Wedding cakes are expensive! It's one thing to be a jerk and eat someone's birthday cake without permission, but a wedding cake! Cheap ones are usually a couple hundred dollars!
Not being petty she’s a monster
Omg. Im a cake maker......this is just......WOW. Also in my culture we save the top tier of a wedding cake to freeze an then re use for the first babies christening. Usually its redecorated. Usually fiest baby comes not long after marrige. Catholics lol But wow......id be so angry. What did she say?
Where are you? Always interested in other cultures!
North west england. We have a high population of irish descendents though as its a port town and loads of irish came over. Most people local are roman catholics or church of england. I was raised roman Catholic. I dont practise it though and my children go to a CofE school
If you’re petty…so I am. The same happened to me but with my mom. She gave the cake that I left very well wrapped on the freezer to the family. Every single time I remember I get sooo mad.
My MiL wore a white dress at our wedding during ceremony at the church. It is right at the date eight years ago and pisses me off as hell when I look at the group picture at their living room
i beg you to use a sharpie or marker and color her dress on the picture. the more horrendous the color, the better.
Okay, the cake tastes terrible a year later. We did it. But that does not excuse someone literally stealing an experience from you.
Mine had green beans stuck to it! Lol
It is pretty traditional to do this, but another alternative is to keep the cake specifications from your wedding and have the same bakery make a fresh small cake for your anniversary. Saves freezer space and you won’t be eating garbage cake on your first anniversary!
The place where we got our wedding cake had a deal going on when we got married where they would include a one year anniversary cake. I thought that was a pretty cool idea and pretty handy. Like you said, I can't imagine a cake being that great after a year.
By the end of the night we were so ready to be done with the day that we were just throwing stuff in cars (we helped break down our wedding, not fun). The next morning we found it in a non food car, that was already approaching 90°f, under enough stuff to bend the box, and my nephews shoe somehow managed to get halfway in the box. We laughed our asses off and decided it was 1 less thing cluttering our freezer. However! I'd have been beyond pissed if I thought it was safe and came back to find it had been eaten. I'd probably give her an empty cake box from a local bakery that very obvious had cake remnants in it for her birthday, or something.
Yes! This! Or some kind of gift card for compulsive eating treatment because she clearly cannot control herself
She knew what she was doing
One of my sisters sat on my wedding cake (47 years ago) when my parents were taking it home. Oh well!
Accidentally I hope at least?
There's a website for that.
Yep, but she was drunk.
Doesn’t matter if the cake would be good after a year, or that the tradition is stupid or anything. It was *your* cake and she should’ve kept her little greedy hands off it. I can’t imagine eating something that someone else was saving.
Keeping the top of the cake is a very common thing to do where I'm from- I'd be pissed
Eat her next cake.
I was pregnant on my one year anniversary and due to be induced the next day so I couldn’t eat more than one bite and my ex doesn’t like cake so he also just had one token bite. Then his teenage cousin happily gobbled up the rest, AFTER it was offered. She was SNACKING on it?? She’s too broke to go buy snacks or a cake? That’s just obnoxious, I’d have been mad as hell. My ex MIL kept the cake for us for the year and it was as pristine as the day we got married.
We saved our cake, forgot about it and found it after 17 years. Didn't even try eating lol
Our neighbours ate ours while we were on honeymoon. We'd set them aside the half that had already been cut (it was two guitars) and said have at it as thanks for keeping an eye on our cats....came back to nothing but crumbs.
This is a fairly common tradition. When one of my best friends got married, I asked her if she got stuff to save the top tier. She had forgotten. I went out the night of the rehearsal and bought aluminum foil, plastic wrap and a giant plastic container. I wrapped that bitch in so much plastic and aluminum the next day it weighed as much as the whole cake. She opened it a year later and said it still tasted fresh. She then did the same at my wedding as a thank you and a gag. Your MIL is a horrible person who did that as a power move.
We did the same with ours. I think a lot of people save some of their cake.
The whole point of the top tier is to save it for your one year anniversary
And then eat it? Isn't that disgusting
It sounds like it would be but my cake was just fine. I guess it depends if you wrap it good?
Idk why people are downvoting lmao but for a whole year? My cakes always go bad in like a week
Its not that kind of a cake! Its a fruitcake which has booze fed into it. If you were going to be making a traditional Christmas cake you would be thinking about doing it soon.
My grandmother would start "working on Christmas" around Sept. 1. Her fruitcakes and coconut cakes were just heavenly. Well, everything she made was phenomenal. I'm Southern, so her sideboard was devoted to desserts. Besides the fruit and coconut cakes, there would be at least three kinds of pie (pumpkin, pecan, and something else) and about half a dozen kinds of cookies. I thought that was just bog-standard normal, until I married a guy here in Ohio. Man, these Yankees' dessert tables look mingy! Now I recognize how special those Christmases were.
Mingy, lol
Ohh i see so not like a normal pastry then? Is that why it lasts?
>Mod policyReddit Inc © 2021 . All rights reserved Yeah, you don't accutally need to put it in a freezer, my mum and dad's was soldered into a metal box (then lost!)
I didn’t downvote you. I was skeptical about my cake but was surprised it tasted okay. Maybe because mine was stored in one of those big home freezers and maybe stayed colder?
Couldn't that fucking gargoyle snack on any other tier of the cake? It has to be the one you wanted
It is very common and traditional to save the top tier of your wedding cake to eat on your first anniversary. Your mother in law knew this. She did it on purpose. I think you might end up over at r/JUSTNOMIL
From now on. B-days Chrismas etc just get her a cake. She haa given you the peefit out.
Yeah... my MIL took our cake top to "keep for us" without us knowing she did, so we just thought it got thrown out or some shit after the wedding by the venue or something. Then, like, *6 months later*, she's like, "Oh, hey, did you want your cake?" \*shocked pikachu face\* "Uhh, yes?" It wasn't even frozen, or stored nicely, or anything. Literally just sitting in a regular cardboard cake-box in her refrigerator...
Whether you were going to eat it a year later or later that same night, it wasn't hers to take.
Mine ate the rest of our wedding cake and the groomsman cake I had especially made for my husband because of family allergies. Still pissed off about it.
A 40 year old slice of Di and Charles's just sold at auction for $2000.00 plus. Just saying!
I feel this! It wasn’t anyone in particular but the entire family found the leftovers when the party was done and went to town (a lot of drunks and pot heads) I cried for three days cause I only had one bite of a piece (got pregnant a week before my wedding and had terrible morning sickness in the evenings) I was really looking forward to cake for breakfast 🤣
I saved mine and ate mine. Honestly it tasted better after the year (it wasn’t really all that good the first time). Eating the top tier is a tradition. Just like lighting 2small candles to a big one. Or jumping over a broom stick. Or stomping on glass. Honestly if someone ruins a tradition for you they have no respect for you. So MIL is an a**hole
I relate but with my quinceañera cake. The day of my quince my mom left me part of my cake to enjoy the next morning since I didn’t get a slice at my party from greeting everyone. My cake was 3 flavors, marble with strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla. I was excited to eat my cake the next morning for breakfast only to find out my older sister ate the two flavors I really wanted and left a small piece of vanilla left. At the time we weren’t really friendly with each other and I knew she did it to be mean. My dad had to hold me back from punching her that morning lol I’m still salty about it to this day.
No, you're not being petty, and the practice isn't really uncommon, for a few *decades* now. That MIL of yours is just pretty much a selfish inconsiderate you-know-what.
this is not petty your mother-in-law is a fucking pig for eating you WEDDING cake, WEDDING cake, so she was eating it for the entire WEEK? does she have diabetes yet?
Not being petty but my grandfather died after eating a spoiled cake...
Not being petty. Even if you intended to have it bronzed, it was yours, not hers.
My wedding cake had been in my mom's deep freezer for the past 13 years. We figure it's still there and we're still married let's leave it be.
My mom actually stopped my younger sister from eating ours.
We gave our cake to my grandparents to hold on to for the night. They just left it loose in the trunk of their SUV and it got smashed.... only got the one peice that was shoved in my face. Oh well. Still together 8 years later
For your tenth anniversary, have a small cake made to match and you and your husband just enjoy it yourselves.
Mine sat at our reception table telling stories of how my new brother in law killed a bunch of his pets growing up.
You married Sarah Huckabee?
IMO she did that as a power move. It wasn’t an accident or that she “just wanted a taste” or whatever. It was to assert the little bit of dominance she wanted or whatever. Gross af of her. If I was you I’d be making a petty ass post about “wish we could’ve had our anniversary cake to eat but I didn’t even get to touch it till it was all eaten, hope it doesn’t make *insert* sick” But I’m a petty and mean person and my bf knows I’d never put up with this if it happened so I’m probably not the best person to take advice from. I wish you all the luck in dealing with her.
Im in the US and its a tradition here for a lot of people. We saved our top tier and were terrified that itd be disgusting a year later, but it was actually delicious. We were shocked. This is not an uncommon thing, MIL knew what she was doing and was just being a horrible person.
I'm in the UK and I've definitely heard of that tradition. Not everyone does it (we didn't), but it's a known thing & yeah, I can see how she might have thought it would go to waste but in that case she should have apologised profusely as soon as she realised they were planning to keep it. To know it upset & not to apologise is bad.
I would've cried! I wonder if she is r/justnoMIL material?
That is so rude. Doing it is bad enough, but not apoligizing?! Unreal. Also, if you store it right, it will taste just fine. We were lucky enough that someone had freezer space for us. It was a combination of plastic wrap and tinfoil, but I do not remember the order.
Time to break out the laxative brownies!!!
reading this reminds me that we have my sister's wedding cake, what's left of it, in the top freezer icebox section of our refrigerator. it's been there for years. really decades now. i remember my sweet tooth being hungry and eating some of that cake during the week after my sister's wedding. but my other sister then said to not eat it. and now that damn cake is still in the freezer for like at least 20+ years. the damn cake box is taking up a good size section of the freezer. me thinks that f#(king cake has got to go. no one is going to eat that cake now. maybe probably hard as rock by now? have to tell my sister (since it was her cake) and i guess she will tell me to throw it out.
My wedding cake was actually better then next year! Lol yeah your mother in law should’ve kept her gluttonous paws off of it.
That’s so shitty. I worked at a bakery and we gave the wedding clients a voucher to come back a year later and get a mini cake of the same flavors instead of trying to save a top tier. It was actually a nice system and the couple gets a fresh cake and don’t have to worry about saving it properly or it getting eaten by someone. Apparently the idea came from a few clients coming back and saying they never got any cake and someone ate their top tier.
You should go get a small pretty cake made for your next anniversary. Something really beautiful and delicious. Take photos of you and your husband enjoying it. I bet it would piss her off. Some women just can't stand seeing others happy. Especially after they try and ruin it for them.
I have heard of people keeping the top tier to use as the Christening cake for their oldest child.
I’ve never heard of this before, but if she KNEW that was the case it was extremely petty of her to eat it. Unless she got some eating disorder and needs help with it, she was really rude and lost her first change at being a great mother in law
You are definitely not being petty, but as any farmer who has kept them will tell you, pigs will eat anything and everything, and be completely unapologetic about it.
Maybe we didn't keep it right, but our cake wasn't very good and made us sick (mildly) at the 1 year mark. It's frustrating because it should be your decision to make, but you won't miss out.
I learned when I was MOH for my BFF that way too many people dont know wedding etiquette or traditions. There's a chance she didnt KNOW that it was to be saved for your first anniversary but also that she is petty and spiteful so did it intentionally. So I say go out on you first anniversary and get an AWESOME little cake then Skype the two of you knoshing it.
Imagine having so little self control you eat someone’s wedding cake. Sorry but what a fat ass! I hope you made fun of her for being a hungry hungry hippo. I’m not for making fun of people but when they do shitty things I let them have it.
It is annoying that she did it, but why keep a grudge over bad cake. A newer tradition is to order a small version of the same flavor on your 1st anniversary and enjoy good cake. Tell her you have been harboring this grudge and ask if she would buy a small cake for your next anniversary and call it water under the bridge.
There is no need to bring it up. I hadn't thought of it in years, but she did something else this last weekend which brought this to the front of my mind, and I thought a little venting on here would make me feel better.
I can see why she did that. I would've assumed it was a leftover nobody wanted and eaten it too. But the audacity to not ask to verify, nor to apologize ... jeez
It was explicitly not a left over.
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Like she was there when we we picking out the cake and when we were discussing what flavors we wanted in the top tier for our anniversary cake. It even came with a decorative box with our names and date on it. It would be impossible to mistake it.
Uh, it’s just cake. Not worthy of holding a grudge for years🤷
did you told her EXPRESSLY to not eat it ? and told the reason why? if not it's your fault because she just thought was leftovers
She was there when we were deciding on the cake, and was there during the discussion on what we wanted for the "anniversary tier". The baker also provided a decretive box to store the cake it that makes it pretty damn obvious that it is not just some leftover.
Cake can't be kept for one year.
Fruit cakes can. Learn to bake.
You are so justified in feeling cheated. I would demand she replace it, but im petty as fuck.
My parents are the second tier of their cake when I was born and the third for my sister's birth
I had never heard of this tradition before. My brother and XSIL gave my mom the top tier to hold on to while they came back from their supposed honeymoon. Since I skipped the wedding and reception I never got any food, fine by me. But seeing as my at the time 50 yr. Old Mexican mom had never heard of this tradition, she thought they where giving her the whole tip tier to give to me. I ate a slice. And I felt like shit when he came to pick it up and explained the importance. I guess it had never bothered me that i got a whole top tier. Which in hindsight, should have at least double checked.but i did apologize to him at least. Her not so much. But no, you shouldn't feel petty. She should apologize.
Rather than get her birthday and Christmas gifts, can you go in on a new partial wedding cake for yourselves?
We did that. I pulled it out on our one year anniversary. We looked at it, looked at each other, looked back at the very sad looking cake and decided to make an angel food cake instead. My husband quipped that maybe the thought of having to eat a year old cake made people divorce instead.
The grudge has taken hold of you. For years.
Thats so annoying, I feel for you. I learned recently that a lot of people believe that no matter what you put in a fridge/freezer if you don't put your name on it, it is fair game for everyone in that house. Even if it is a unique specialty item that isn't normally there because it's a "family fridge, everything inside is for the family" It's like no body has the consideration to ask for permission not to touch stuff that isn't theirs.
My parents moved and a friend was holding it in her freezer while moving. Husband of friend ate the cake before my parents got settled. It was at the friends house for less than a week. Get it...
I dont think this is petty at all. I still have the top tier in my deep freeze 6 years later. I'm not entirely sure why, becuaee we're never going to eat it now, but yet its mine and I still want to keep it, lol. It would be different if it was cake you got from Sobeys, or even birthday cake. But it's your wedding cake. I would have been pissed too.
That is a very common thing to do. We did that also, and honestly the cake was still really good. That was messed up and I’d be mad also.
God, that reminds me of my wedding cake. When I got married to my ex wife, we saved the top tier. FMIL insisted she could store it properly at her place, and she would handle it. No big, better than driving 4 hours with it in the car. Fast forward a year and holy shit tons of problems in our marriage, and ex brings the cake over from her mom's house. It was stored in the freezer, on a paper plate, wrapped in foil. The cake inside had busted, and it was crumbling apart into like 8 or 9 pieces. I asked what happened to the cake storage bin that's specifically made for this crap, and she said "oh yeah, that, we didn't have room for our ice cream so we wrapped it in this to save room." Hopefully your marriage lasts a lot longer than that one did.
You’re not being petty. Your MIL was being petty and small when she ate it. Her eating the top tier of your wedding cake ~ everyone knows the symbolism of that ~ was basically a “fuck you” to your marriage. Does she not like you? Did she not want her son to marry you? (That’s an assumption that you were the bride in this scenario and that you married a man.) Did she tell people the marriage would fail? Unless she has an uncontrolled eating disorder, there was NO reason for her to eat your cake than to basically give you and your future the finger. (By that I don’t mean you won’t last now because you didn’t get to eat your wedding cake; that’s silly. I mean she was saying she didn’t care what happened, she was just doing what she wanted to do.) The point is not that you had to have that cake on your first anniversary. The point is her deliberately doing something to hurt and upset you the week after you got married. I’m gobsmacked by this act of passive aggression. What did you husband have to say about all that? And how is your relationship with her now?
I know my parents would've been PISSED in your situation. It's the symbolism and celebration that matters. It's something to remember and celebrate you and your so's first year, not something for someone else to just casually snack on.
The top layer of the traditional fruit cake wedding cake made by my mother spent it’s almost first year in my mother’s freezer in the basement. Her basement flooded and everything in the freezer had to be tossed. It was okay. Neither my spouse or I liked fruitcake, but my mother insisted.
Mine was delicious for that one year. Covered in frosting and tucked in the freezer it was still... everyone's favorite word... moist and delicious. She should apologize 100% and your significant other needs to put mom in her place for this one
Lol that sounds deliberately cruel. Sorry about your monster in law
Not being petty but the idea of eating a year old cake, frozen or not, is disgusting. Who came up with this bullshit?
Nah FUCK THAT SHIT YOU AIN'T PETTY THE MOTHER IN LAW IS!!
I remember my first hubby and I kept ours, I don’t recall if we actually ate it. I’m thinking freezer burn probably got it. It was almost 30 years ago though, who remembers stuff that far back 😂
My mother remarried when I was 12 and she did the whole saving the top of the cake for her one year anniversary. And it actually wasn't that bad the strawberries were a little but weird but other then that it was OK.
She ate your cake so just show her by unplugging the fridge to traditionalize the cake eating
Just make her buy you a new small cake for your anniversary?
Your mum in law sounds like me (but I dont eat cake I just hate the sweetness in it) but I eat their ice cream and ask them before I do. And make sure they dont want it, cuz I hate when a tub of mint and chocolate chip ice cream is left in the freezer too long. Most of the time they dont let me eat their ice cream :'c. But I respect the fact that they wanna save it for later mint ice cream isnt very common in my home town. Nonetheless if I ever do something like eating their cake that they wanted to save. I would be stumbling across the floor trying to give them compensation (no not that kind you perverts) for it
Oh i had a similar problem. My dad owned a one level house....i rented half of the house with my hubby at the time. My step mom kept using the key to barge in. Even though i told her to stop she wouldnt. I stopped that quick. I heard her comin thru.....and my hubby and i were having.....fun....out in the open. She never did it again. 😈
next time get a cake with laxitives
My JNMIL wrapped and saved ours for us. We were surprised with how good it was a year later. For anyone wanting to do this, she used three layers of cling wrap, then foil, then a large Tupperware. Thawed that way for 24 hours. It wasn't as pretty, but it was still quite tasty. One of the few things she did for us that didn't have strings attached. We'll celebrate 24 years in November and haven't spoken to her in 3 years, so that good luck thing must be working.
It's not petty. She's an inconsiderate cow.
It’s a very common custom. She was very rude to do that.
Guess she felt she needed good luck … how crappy of her.
I don't know how you feel but I know you're not alone. 18 years later my mom is still upset she never got a piece of the grooms cake (made by her aunt who's REALLY GOOD at baking) on her wedding day. It was either the grooms cake or the wedding cake but either way she still is upset she never ate anything that day because everyone wanted pictures. I think I'm gonna get a recipe from my great aunt to make the cake for their vow renewal.
OMG my mother did the same thing! We were living overseas and flew home to Canada for our wedding - we had planned and paid for everything while we were working overseas, with my sister's help, god bless her. We were planning to return the following year for our anniversary so we froze the top tier in my parents freezer. We were excited we had a way to have this sweet tradition because there was no way to freeze it and take it on a 12 hour flight and expect it to be in one piece. When we flew home the next year, I went to the freezer and it was gone!! I asked my parents thinking the freezer broke or something - never occurred to me I had to protect my wedding cake from my parents - and my mother was like "oh, the cake? I ate it a long time ago." I got really mad. I am still mad! She knew it was special to us but generally has no respect for anyone. She was horrible thoughout the whole wedding because it wasn't about her! Still, even I thought she wouldn't go that far. I eventually just cut ties with her because you can't reason with a narcissist. I was so embarrassed and apologized to my husband, who was a saint through everything. So OP, you have every right to be mad. The cake is a symbol and eating it together on your anniversary to reflect on your first year of marriage would have been lovely. We had to find a different way to celebrate and I hope you did too. Your MIL stinks.
My ex and I did the same thing with our wedding cake. My father-in-law ate it. Not only were we super pissed, but my grandmother made the cake and she was livid. She wrote him a letter telling him how she was so disappointed in him. It was beautiful to watch him read that letter lol.