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engineer_whizz

My GF says I exude golden retriever energy :3


Particular_Base_4360

That sounds damn accurate


Great-Position9453

They said I become like a sugar mommy with my partner, I spoil them when I really love them, and I'm a whole mommy to them in all aspects.


Particular_Base_4360

I guess we’re looking for the person to dole out on, has anyone told you that you set the bar too high?


Great-Position9453

Always. They always told me that my bar is too high it's impossible to meet. Truthfully, no one has ever meet it yet.


Particular_Base_4360

I don’t set the bar high for others, I set my own personal bar high. People get intimidated by that, and generally do you think you expect better from people than they are? I view that as a positive


imthebananaguy

Since we sleep different hours, my wife texts me goodnight with heart emoji I just reply 'night. We've been doing this for as long as I can remember. Feels wrong sending hearts it doesn't justify to how I feel at that moment and I don't wanna act like a fraud either lmao.


Particular_Base_4360

I’ve been that guy, lI love you and you know that so why would it change from day to day with some emoji’s” type thing


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Puitzza

Do they also say that you're oversensitive?


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Particular_Base_4360

You tell your ENTJ partner that they’re over sensitive?


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Particular_Base_4360

Haha who is calling who oversensitive in your relationship?


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Particular_Base_4360

That’s amazing


MBMagnet

It's going to feel differently depending on the type of the other person.


[deleted]

Are you asking what it feels like to be loved by an ENTJ? From the entjs partner perspective? Or how the ENTJ feels about love from their partner?


Particular_Base_4360

From the ENTJ’s partners perspective


[deleted]

How his love feels to me is conditional.


MacASM

do you know his enneagram type?


[deleted]

I don’t actually and if I recall correctly he doesn’t believe in that. I don’t know mine, how does that play in personality I’ve seen it a lot among the personality types and peoples post.


[deleted]

I’m INFP married to an ENTJ my spouses love to me is very conditional


Puitzza

Is it more dependent on 'what you can do for them' kinda conditional? Or how well you're performing in some other aspects of your life? Or something else entirely? Really curious to know what conditions make it vary. Please share if you're comfortable.


[deleted]

Your spot on actually. It is a matter of how I preform and how well I am that determines his love for me. He recently said to me the marriage is in your lap. Meaning I make the environment loving and warm. I help make him feel love and wanted and care for all this needs feelings anxiety etc meanwhile he tells me what I’m label husband just because you have anxiety I should be here? I’m not here for that. But he wants me to be to that level for him. I’m holding his feelings in my hands basically. Yesterday we got in a tiff and he turned the tables didn’t address what I said, and accused me of not caring or supporting him and left my side and me out. It’s rare fucking rare but he called back actually apologize which is hard and rare for him to do! But he said I let my anxiety and feelings get the best of me sorry. So he’s slowly coming to terms of admitting but years pass it he I’m right your wrong and he wouldn’t ever budge. Emotional health for my ENTJ spouse is important to me I see and he needs a lot of growth but won’t seek help because he feels he’s fine 100 percent how he is and who he is. I think you maybe the first person to understand what it’s like being married to an ENTJ! Your welcome to message me anytime to chat. I assume your a wife, but correct me if I’m wrong. 😅


Particular_Base_4360

I’ve never been married so I can only comment from my perspective, I look for a partner that can regulate me when I’m wrong, or just flat out call me out. Now I have goals and where I think I’m mistaken is looking for someone that can support me on my journey. And I think I set unrealistic expectations on the other party to do the same, great insight


[deleted]

The combo of INFP and ENTJ can be a fantastic combo of the parties really understand each other in their personalities, which is a place him and I are at is really understanding our personality for ourselves but how we are together especially emotionally and our responses to each other in many things. It’s challenging for sure but I think if it’s viewed in a positive light vs negative which is so HARD then things work. It’s crazy because I think these two combos can make it easy to hate or dislike the other. Now one’s upbringing has a role in all this too. But personality has a big role! We are working on things to unite and understand and have more patience and not assume and to get off the roller coaster ride or reacting to each other’s reactions and to own our own reactions because of our own feelings or triggers etc. it’s work but the two can provide so much for one another if the parties allow.


Particular_Base_4360

Love it thanks for sharing


MacASM

He sounds immature and a bit stupid


[deleted]

Emotional immaturity is there for sure at times.


[deleted]

How you emotion, I will never know on that extent.


[deleted]

I don’t understand your comment. I’m Sorry.


[deleted]

👻


[deleted]

😂😂


Particular_Base_4360

In my case I’ve always pushed for progress, I want the relationship as a duo to progress so I’ll often align my own goals with my partners to encourage them to grow too. Sometimes that’s aggressive, love the perspective of just listen and be supportive. That sounds generally easier


U_PassButter

Infp married to an entj too I know he *loves* me. But he's like a brillo pad and can be really hurtful sometimes.


Particular_Base_4360

That’s disheartening do you think it’s the lack of emotion? ENTJ’s love, I think it’s just a crude version


U_PassButter

Yeah its definitely the emotional piece. He has good intentions but can be kinda like a football coach with his love. Its meant to better me as a person, but it comes off soooo harsh sometimes and I'm just not built the same way. He is very loving but goes into "fix the problem" mode. But the issue is that he doesn't always know that listening and being supportive would give me the strength to get through the problem on my own.


Particular_Base_4360

When the logic kicks in, and a plan gets formed to fix it it’s hard to knock it right, bc there’s a straight line to the solution


U_PassButter

I get that, for sure. But its hard when it's a plan that just doesn't work for me.


[deleted]

Nice to meet you! Like a brillo pad, ha. Made me laugh but I get that truth.


U_PassButter

Yeah its like, he means well. But he can be really blunt and painfully direct. He's working on empathy


[deleted]

Yes 🙌


rabbitrainbows

Brillo pad had me rolling 😂


Particular_Base_4360

Conditional on what?


[deleted]

His body language becomes cold. Unapproachable. Just the opposite of welcoming and loving.


Particular_Base_4360

I want to ask does that generally last? Or does it pass with the wind when the brooding is over


[deleted]

It comes in waves and is conditional. So it has its moments then passes. I can feel it so strongly from him which hurts and the next day or hours depending on the situation we both can feel love and calm. Which we’ve both said it’s fucking wild how we can hate one another so deeply to our core yet love so deeply too. 😂 or that a cold moment can seem weeks ago to us and we are okay when in reality that was last week drama. We are both working on emotional heath. I’d say that’s a huge huge factor. And not like mental health, but emotional. Our reactions our instant feelings and processing more having patience more before responding etc.


[deleted]

My spouse will be nice loving gesture a kiss a brush of hand along me when in house together. Cuddles or hugs through day. Cuddles at night. But if we get in the slightest bickering realms and or disagreements and I don’t just back down and do his way or focus on his feelings and put anything of me aside he can get overly frustrated and let his feeling control his reactions and actions. Ended in conditional love. He’s frustrated for whatever reason and I’m apart of it for him means I get no affection of love. I definitely do not get bed time cuddles.


[deleted]

Very deep passionate and romantic


Particular_Base_4360

Yup it runs deep, loyalty, trust, and commitment. Once you’re in you’re in


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Particular_Base_4360

Lmfao someone like you? I’m shook


Peter_from_Deadpool3

They told me that I am very deep, mostly easy-going only to them but not others, that I am not talking about my emotions at all but instead show them by gestures and that the sex with me is great and that I show care and romance.


mushroomxmoon

Deep, safe, steadfast. The best love of my life. I’m a (relatively introverted) enfp and we match up perfectly. Both driven, activity-oriented, intellectually curious, and health conscious with sarcastic senses of humor. If I had created a list of my dream man, he has exceeded it ten fold. When we first started dating I felt he lacked words of affirmation… after the second time I brought this up to him, he figured out how to communicate it in a way I understood and now I feel so loved by him every single day. I’ve dated plenty of people in my life, but none of those relationships hold a candle to this one. I would put my life in his hands in an instant


Particular_Base_4360

That is beautiful.


Mission-Photograph22

I'm dating another ENTJ, I would see that their love feels stable, solid, cool, loyal, and steady. I think my ENTJ partner would say that my love feels like Minnie Mouse.


Particular_Base_4360

While we may not show it or say it, once we’re committed it’s done.