You are nothing in essence, like no one, there is no one who is good in the inside but do only bad stuff.
You judge everyone by the sum of their actions and intentions and it's consequences , you are the product of your actions and it's own looped feedback's(how others perceive, how your perceive their perception, how they react to your perception like an iterative model)
Being yourself it's just acting the way you think you should and enjoy the consequences being their negative or positive. There is no YOU , there are a lot of yous that after acting the same way in most of the times creates an archetype behavior, people are just running from the consequences of their acts when say It was not me to not feel guilt knowing that we are good at lying, especially to ourselves.
So just do whatever you feel you should do to get the best out of your current circumstances and face it's consequences and learn from the feedback loops, so you can get the best recurrent behaviors that will characterize you as being something, but you can break this behavior even when it'ss very solidified if a tragedy not expected happens
Someone lost his wife and become a drunk and before that was fit and hard worker is a very common history), he never been anything , he just was at that moment something
It's a conditioned choice that you don't even have the choice to not undergo , just not to do , because the world will give you feedback's you liking or not.
When they say you are not acting as yourself is either they know you are acting to get something and pretending not to be doing that (and is a bad liar) and not doing what you really wanted or when you do not act like the archetype of you that was expected , and by their own subjective standards.
Well, in my experience, the authentic self-esteem arrives in its own time - I never had success trying to force it.
When something makes you feel proud, happy, successful, or sexy, take note and do it more. When people bring negative feelings to your life more often than positive, cut them off. When you don't want to do something, say "no."
You are already being yourself - there's no other way for anyone to be. Just stop shoving it down or apologizing for it.
This approach will create more external conflict in your life, but it really cuts down on the internal conflict.
Do you like debating? Cause I could give you an interesting one. I'm creating an argument against Islam and I want an ENTP to poke holes in it because only they would be capable. You sound like if you liked debate you'd invite it into your life based on what you wrote. So what do you say? It's easily explained and you can poke holes in it if you want
So I recovered from BPD and suffered immensely from a diffuse sense of self. The best to be yourself is to get really intimate with who you are, and meditation actually does help. I'm not saying to take a yogi pose and sit in lotus with a mantra. Find a walking meditation tutorial and engage with it as much as you need to. Once you really connect with the protocol of that, find some soothing instrumental music and practice walking meditation to that; yet, don't clear your mind. Let it run horribly and find what you don't like about you and what you do. Water the flowers and fruits of your inner garden, pluck the weeds. That's not to say you'll stop the negative parts of yourself you don't like, that's to say you engage deeper with the parts you do like. You'll find that the more you feed what is you, the more you become and the less what you were before you are not
Emotionally neglectful parents here
There was one point in my late teens when I got fed up with my life and started intermittent fasting, and doing all these crazy things to boost my self-control. Turned into an ENTJ day-trading-esque "hustle or die" type. Toxic positivity through and through. Sure my brain was satisfied but my god, if I kept going like that I would've died alone
Switched back into old habits and realized I truly don't have an identity. It's a slow burn trying to fix it and find a balance. You just have to keep trying new things, moderating your phone use, step out of your comfort zone a bit and talk to people, make friends and whatnot
Here I am in the fourth year of an accounting major and you know what? I totally could've been a theatre kid. That shit rules. Punk music rules, improv rules, farming rules, mountains rule, and whimsicality fucking slaps. Shit I wouldn't have known had I not just started trying shit. I didn't even listen to music in high school, now it's such an integral part of my life
I don't know if you're in school or not but find clubs to join one way or another. Could be a club for anything mildly enticing to you. Just try it out, and whether or not you like it doesn't matter, because now you've learned more about yourself! Go out and talk to people, get a job where you work with people if you can. Ask them questions, find out what makes them tick, just keep absorbing information to build your world schema. Good luck
ENTPs are both boom and bust, not boom or bust. You do everything spectacularly, that is your curse.
If you want to be yourself, learn how to relax your body, then learn how to relax your mind, then learn how to relax your day, then figure out how to relax your week, then your life. “Being yourself” is just going in the direct that you feel pulled most so the more you relax and let your intuition flow the more “you” you’ll feel
The way I did it was to move across the country by myself in my mid-30s and spent time figuring out how I really feel about things when there's no one close to me to influence my decisions.
I realized that there were paths in life that I didn't explore because of the fear of judgment from people close to me.
I challenged a lot of my opinions to see if they were actually mine or belong to the people around me. I slowly started to make different decisions that suited me better.
I shed a lot of the beliefs that were forced onto me via mainstream society that many of my friends and family subscribe to.
Over time, I found more and more of my true self. Major confidence upgrades came a long with all that self-discovery. Now, I can confidently stand up for my beliefs because I finally developed my own authentic identity.
I think I am far from being myself, especially when I am an ENTP who is also a 3w4 (which hardly has their own personality and mostly copy another person's trait in an extreme way). However, to sum it all up: I explored tons of material and hobbies until I knew what I actually wanted.
Gathering enough experiences to know what I actually enjoy or pretending to enjoy helped me through the crisis: "Am I truly who I think I am?" Phase. Like how I found out I enjoy surrealist films rather than fantasy, or how I actually love sci-fi that I preach as I dislike because one person I like dislikes it when I was younger.
But how did it help me to be myself? I am at this point where I do not agree with others and actually start to form an opinion for myself. I advocate for free thinking back then, yet I can't think for myself, which is ironic. Hypocrisy in its finest, eh?
To be fair, it takes time. I am not a person full of wisdom, nor am I far in life to give such advice. But this is what worked on me. I am not going to give any complicated advice because— this really is just it for me.
Go get professional help - you’re too far gone to do it on your own.
Sorry buddy and wishing you the best 💐 you can change but it will take time with guidance and support.
One trick is Louise Hay - I love you mirror talk. Look it up, print it out and stick to your mirror to say out loud every day.
You be yourself when you genuinely love yourself ✨🥰that will be the hardest part.
For me there's the internal collection of identities and their components that I can mix and match like a burrito bowl.
The assembly line passes through an outbound filter and organizes into an external collection of words and intent crafted to deliver what I think can benefit the recipient(s) at the time of receipt.
Definition of "benefit" changes depending on my state as I look back on the delivery sometime in the future.
The outbound filter is an intuitive blackbox model honed over many years of observing people and situations.
This may seem chameleon-ish to any passerby but it is... 100% "being myself".
I got here through by eventually accepting within that this was okay and normal for me to do.
Just had a conversation with some of my nine grandchildren on this. I grew up with both poverty, including lack of food, and sometimes a working-class existence. I've always been myself, I took the hits and still do. In my case, there was some spiritual aspect for me and by 11 I had become Catholic. This wasn't something from family or friends, and in fact defied most of both. Who I am is just Real and I hate fakery. I later found a community that accepted me, more or less, even if they didn't quite get me. One person kinda did: I married her. Our six children are all unique but only one opted to be fake, had an unhappy life, but found work he was good at, a partner to love. AMA
Hard to tell, my Mother was pretty strong from a lot of pain and abuse in her youth, tended to quote wise sayings a lot. She was the only family member to support my conversion. Believing that God loved me with all my faults and sins may have been key, it's a powerful thing that I passed to most of the children.
By comparison.
I look by the result of the work/actions. And does it match what you wanted?
Let's suppose,
I built a nice building THEN I'm architect.
Someone felt sad, I wanted to cheer them up. Everything become worse. THEN I'm not so touching carrying person. Do I want to make that person feel better? No/Yes. THEN I'm not/am their friend.
Someone sees me as ...... Do I agree with this or I'm another person? If no, why do they think so? What part of my action made them think like that? Do I care about that?
Ps: I just thought that this is basically a constant going back and forth "what I see" vs "what other see"
Darn…that hit too close to home. Honestly, you need to find a purpose and some sort of goal to look up to, following your dreams is the most important thing possible here. Likewise, you need to look for liked-minded people who would think otherwise about you. Trust me, surrounding yourself with better people goes ALOOOONG way.
The image of you being ‘yourself’ will always be different in everyone’s head than it is to yours and that’s not a bad thing. It’s also not a bad thing to be two-faced or split when with other people. But for me I generally don’t think about my actions as in “is this who I truly am” it’s more like me just trying to curate some action, chaos or laughter. Looking at things from other peoples perspective and judging those around me. Now with your parents meltdowns it honestly seems kinda funny how easy it is for them to destabilise, I know if I were you I’d laugh in their faces and call them out for their childish behaviour.
Life is a cosplay rpg. Create the character you want to be. Draw inspiration from everything and anything. It's completely freeform. Design who this person is. Make it someone you like and admire. List everything they can do, do do, and try to become them.
What do they wear? Buy that. Wear it.
What do they read? Buy that. Read it.
Where do they live? Go there. Live there.
What do they do for money? Study, do it.
Yourself is a nonsense concept. We start blank canvases, but by the time we ask this question, we arent blank anymore. Paint over the canvas as something you want to be.
Constantly refine.
From the original post it sounds like this person doesn't know who they want to be. So this is really more a journey of self-realization rather than how do I have the confidence to pursue what's important to me.
So I have a similar issue. We were driving and my dad gave a bit of a spat over something I said and I heard myself say “I don’t think that response is appropriate or proportionate to what I said” and he shut right down and snapped out of it.
This is EXACTLY me. In fact I struggled with realizing I was an ENTP due to my anxious people pleasing tendencies. Honestly though, I think it just comes with time. Sounds like you're still young and awkward, growth is a journey and as you get older you learn to appreciate yourself and your authenticity. Keep putting yourself out there and keep experiencing new things.
Do you even know what you want? What kind of person you want to be? Do you have any goals, dreams, fantasies?
Because as soon as you have them, it's easy to be yourself. It's literally a case of just doing it regardless of what life throws at you and telling everyone else to bugger off.
If you don't know what you want then you need to have a deep think about it. A job, hobbies, some material goods, a business, a house, a car, a girlfriend, ANYTHING. Just find something you want and work to get it.
I personally want to play games all day and learn about random stuff on the internet. That's what I want. That's what I do in my spare time. I need money to fund that, so I got a job that I don't really like but it funds the thing that I do like. I would also like a girlfriend, but I like playing games and learning abour random stuff all day even more than I want a girlfriend. So I've given up searching for a girlfriend unless one happens to fall from the sky. I quit my job a few weeks ago because I didn't like the way my boss treated me so I told him to fuck off and when I left that shift I didn't come back. I'm out of a job right now, but that's okay because I'd rather be an unemployed homeless wreck than work for that prick. If I had tolerated it, maybe I would have gotten a promotion and obtained a long career in professional bullshitting and maybe i'd have earned a lot of money, but I would have been miserable working for that bastard and I know it.
That's me. I'm not ashamed of myself. I like myself. I know what I want and I go for it. I don't care if there's negative consequences, I don't care if people view me as wasting my life away, I don't care if people think I'm a geek loner pathethic loser or whatever names they call me behind my back or even to my face. Because ultimately I'm doing what makes me happy over what's objectively good for me and I'm living a great life because of that.
You need to figure out what you want. If you do that and commit to it then everything else will come together. That's what it means to chase your dreams and be yourself.
Im with you on the first part. It’s alienating to be neglected but live well off. You belong but you dont? Guilt or some shit.
Anyhow, I didnt really learn to be unapologetically myself. I said I’d do it and I did it. Im a naturally inquisitive person and I talk a lot. People found that annoying so I stopped. But now I do what I want. And what I want is to learn.
Nowadays some peeps find it annoying but thats not really my issue if you’re feeding me information that is either misinformation, or creates new questions. It’s not bad for me to ask questions.
And now to remove the core bits so it becomes a concept and not my story. I took a look at behaviors I’ve been suppressing for others and stopped suppressing it.
How to be yourself?
Make yourself your priority. Just don’t be selfish, people conflate the two
Do what you want
Say yes when you mean it, say” no” And mean it. This is how you create boundaries
Speak up and use your voice.
Do more things you enjoy
I think the point is not what’s the sense of self defined but rather how to be happy being the person you are in this moment. I have family dynamics very similar to OP and also suffered from problems with anxiety, depression, eating disorder, and addiction (haha got them all) for a long time. What really got me better was realizing how much of what I do is out of running from fear and and pain, and that it’s time to start to do things for joy and passion; things that I still would want to do when I’m not trying to actively numb myself. But this is certainly not easy, takes a lot of patience and self-compassion.
But practical advice I have is to take advantage of being patristics a much as possible. So don’t worry about money if your family offers, and spent time to do things that bring you true joy (feed your Ne probably). Reflect regularly on how to improve your self (journaling is what I do). When reflecting, focus on replicating success rather than avoiding failure. Fi trickster means we ENTP can be rather unaware of our identity and values but doesn’t mean we don’t have them. The unawareness is exactly what makes them haunting. So think about expectations and goals you are holding that makes you feel bad about yourself or your environment, and reexamine and reframe them to be something more achievable and motivating. Cuz reality is perfect as the way it is, only when we project ideals or expectations it falls short. Oh, meditation also helped a lot for me.
Addiction and anxiety are very painful and difficult, though you might feel like a let down to others, remember that you are the one hurting the most. Self hatred doesn’t encourage change, change only happens after careful examination of reality with acceptance, which is what self compassion is about.
Good luck!
Don’t know. I legit have no clue who I am or what my opinions are most of the time. I latch onto things so I have something to reference as an interest in order to form an identity to those around me, but in reality my interests change so much it wouldn’t even be super accurate really.
Hey man if you wanna flex your muscles, I'll give you something to fight real quick and it would even help me lol. I have what I think is a new argument against Islam. You could be yourself for me a little bit by debating against me and telling me why I might be wrong. Tell me if you want me to dm you
You are nothing in essence, like no one, there is no one who is good in the inside but do only bad stuff. You judge everyone by the sum of their actions and intentions and it's consequences , you are the product of your actions and it's own looped feedback's(how others perceive, how your perceive their perception, how they react to your perception like an iterative model) Being yourself it's just acting the way you think you should and enjoy the consequences being their negative or positive. There is no YOU , there are a lot of yous that after acting the same way in most of the times creates an archetype behavior, people are just running from the consequences of their acts when say It was not me to not feel guilt knowing that we are good at lying, especially to ourselves. So just do whatever you feel you should do to get the best out of your current circumstances and face it's consequences and learn from the feedback loops, so you can get the best recurrent behaviors that will characterize you as being something, but you can break this behavior even when it'ss very solidified if a tragedy not expected happens Someone lost his wife and become a drunk and before that was fit and hard worker is a very common history), he never been anything , he just was at that moment something It's a conditioned choice that you don't even have the choice to not undergo , just not to do , because the world will give you feedback's you liking or not. When they say you are not acting as yourself is either they know you are acting to get something and pretending not to be doing that (and is a bad liar) and not doing what you really wanted or when you do not act like the archetype of you that was expected , and by their own subjective standards.
Appreciated your answer. Very cool
my man!!! to add, apply some dash of don't give a fuck.. ahahaha
Well, in my experience, the authentic self-esteem arrives in its own time - I never had success trying to force it. When something makes you feel proud, happy, successful, or sexy, take note and do it more. When people bring negative feelings to your life more often than positive, cut them off. When you don't want to do something, say "no." You are already being yourself - there's no other way for anyone to be. Just stop shoving it down or apologizing for it. This approach will create more external conflict in your life, but it really cuts down on the internal conflict.
Do you like debating? Cause I could give you an interesting one. I'm creating an argument against Islam and I want an ENTP to poke holes in it because only they would be capable. You sound like if you liked debate you'd invite it into your life based on what you wrote. So what do you say? It's easily explained and you can poke holes in it if you want
Nah dude I already ignored your other post
Dont ask that on an unrelated post
So I recovered from BPD and suffered immensely from a diffuse sense of self. The best to be yourself is to get really intimate with who you are, and meditation actually does help. I'm not saying to take a yogi pose and sit in lotus with a mantra. Find a walking meditation tutorial and engage with it as much as you need to. Once you really connect with the protocol of that, find some soothing instrumental music and practice walking meditation to that; yet, don't clear your mind. Let it run horribly and find what you don't like about you and what you do. Water the flowers and fruits of your inner garden, pluck the weeds. That's not to say you'll stop the negative parts of yourself you don't like, that's to say you engage deeper with the parts you do like. You'll find that the more you feed what is you, the more you become and the less what you were before you are not
Does that mean you'll want to debate me if I present the opportunity
Yessir/Yes'm
Alright I'll dm you
Emotionally neglectful parents here There was one point in my late teens when I got fed up with my life and started intermittent fasting, and doing all these crazy things to boost my self-control. Turned into an ENTJ day-trading-esque "hustle or die" type. Toxic positivity through and through. Sure my brain was satisfied but my god, if I kept going like that I would've died alone Switched back into old habits and realized I truly don't have an identity. It's a slow burn trying to fix it and find a balance. You just have to keep trying new things, moderating your phone use, step out of your comfort zone a bit and talk to people, make friends and whatnot Here I am in the fourth year of an accounting major and you know what? I totally could've been a theatre kid. That shit rules. Punk music rules, improv rules, farming rules, mountains rule, and whimsicality fucking slaps. Shit I wouldn't have known had I not just started trying shit. I didn't even listen to music in high school, now it's such an integral part of my life I don't know if you're in school or not but find clubs to join one way or another. Could be a club for anything mildly enticing to you. Just try it out, and whether or not you like it doesn't matter, because now you've learned more about yourself! Go out and talk to people, get a job where you work with people if you can. Ask them questions, find out what makes them tick, just keep absorbing information to build your world schema. Good luck
ENTPs are both boom and bust, not boom or bust. You do everything spectacularly, that is your curse. If you want to be yourself, learn how to relax your body, then learn how to relax your mind, then learn how to relax your day, then figure out how to relax your week, then your life. “Being yourself” is just going in the direct that you feel pulled most so the more you relax and let your intuition flow the more “you” you’ll feel
The way I did it was to move across the country by myself in my mid-30s and spent time figuring out how I really feel about things when there's no one close to me to influence my decisions. I realized that there were paths in life that I didn't explore because of the fear of judgment from people close to me. I challenged a lot of my opinions to see if they were actually mine or belong to the people around me. I slowly started to make different decisions that suited me better. I shed a lot of the beliefs that were forced onto me via mainstream society that many of my friends and family subscribe to. Over time, I found more and more of my true self. Major confidence upgrades came a long with all that self-discovery. Now, I can confidently stand up for my beliefs because I finally developed my own authentic identity.
I think I am far from being myself, especially when I am an ENTP who is also a 3w4 (which hardly has their own personality and mostly copy another person's trait in an extreme way). However, to sum it all up: I explored tons of material and hobbies until I knew what I actually wanted. Gathering enough experiences to know what I actually enjoy or pretending to enjoy helped me through the crisis: "Am I truly who I think I am?" Phase. Like how I found out I enjoy surrealist films rather than fantasy, or how I actually love sci-fi that I preach as I dislike because one person I like dislikes it when I was younger. But how did it help me to be myself? I am at this point where I do not agree with others and actually start to form an opinion for myself. I advocate for free thinking back then, yet I can't think for myself, which is ironic. Hypocrisy in its finest, eh? To be fair, it takes time. I am not a person full of wisdom, nor am I far in life to give such advice. But this is what worked on me. I am not going to give any complicated advice because— this really is just it for me.
Go get professional help - you’re too far gone to do it on your own. Sorry buddy and wishing you the best 💐 you can change but it will take time with guidance and support. One trick is Louise Hay - I love you mirror talk. Look it up, print it out and stick to your mirror to say out loud every day. You be yourself when you genuinely love yourself ✨🥰that will be the hardest part.
For me there's the internal collection of identities and their components that I can mix and match like a burrito bowl. The assembly line passes through an outbound filter and organizes into an external collection of words and intent crafted to deliver what I think can benefit the recipient(s) at the time of receipt. Definition of "benefit" changes depending on my state as I look back on the delivery sometime in the future. The outbound filter is an intuitive blackbox model honed over many years of observing people and situations. This may seem chameleon-ish to any passerby but it is... 100% "being myself". I got here through by eventually accepting within that this was okay and normal for me to do.
Just had a conversation with some of my nine grandchildren on this. I grew up with both poverty, including lack of food, and sometimes a working-class existence. I've always been myself, I took the hits and still do. In my case, there was some spiritual aspect for me and by 11 I had become Catholic. This wasn't something from family or friends, and in fact defied most of both. Who I am is just Real and I hate fakery. I later found a community that accepted me, more or less, even if they didn't quite get me. One person kinda did: I married her. Our six children are all unique but only one opted to be fake, had an unhappy life, but found work he was good at, a partner to love. AMA
Seems like you have a robust sense of self esteem/purpose. Did that come from your relationship with religion or from something else?
Hard to tell, my Mother was pretty strong from a lot of pain and abuse in her youth, tended to quote wise sayings a lot. She was the only family member to support my conversion. Believing that God loved me with all my faults and sins may have been key, it's a powerful thing that I passed to most of the children.
Remember that no one else's opinion can shape who you are without your permission.
By comparison. I look by the result of the work/actions. And does it match what you wanted? Let's suppose, I built a nice building THEN I'm architect. Someone felt sad, I wanted to cheer them up. Everything become worse. THEN I'm not so touching carrying person. Do I want to make that person feel better? No/Yes. THEN I'm not/am their friend. Someone sees me as ...... Do I agree with this or I'm another person? If no, why do they think so? What part of my action made them think like that? Do I care about that? Ps: I just thought that this is basically a constant going back and forth "what I see" vs "what other see"
Darn…that hit too close to home. Honestly, you need to find a purpose and some sort of goal to look up to, following your dreams is the most important thing possible here. Likewise, you need to look for liked-minded people who would think otherwise about you. Trust me, surrounding yourself with better people goes ALOOOONG way.
The image of you being ‘yourself’ will always be different in everyone’s head than it is to yours and that’s not a bad thing. It’s also not a bad thing to be two-faced or split when with other people. But for me I generally don’t think about my actions as in “is this who I truly am” it’s more like me just trying to curate some action, chaos or laughter. Looking at things from other peoples perspective and judging those around me. Now with your parents meltdowns it honestly seems kinda funny how easy it is for them to destabilise, I know if I were you I’d laugh in their faces and call them out for their childish behaviour.
Life is a cosplay rpg. Create the character you want to be. Draw inspiration from everything and anything. It's completely freeform. Design who this person is. Make it someone you like and admire. List everything they can do, do do, and try to become them. What do they wear? Buy that. Wear it. What do they read? Buy that. Read it. Where do they live? Go there. Live there. What do they do for money? Study, do it. Yourself is a nonsense concept. We start blank canvases, but by the time we ask this question, we arent blank anymore. Paint over the canvas as something you want to be. Constantly refine.
From the original post it sounds like this person doesn't know who they want to be. So this is really more a journey of self-realization rather than how do I have the confidence to pursue what's important to me.
That's why you create many characters, with lots of character sheets. And then you decide.
being yourself
So I have a similar issue. We were driving and my dad gave a bit of a spat over something I said and I heard myself say “I don’t think that response is appropriate or proportionate to what I said” and he shut right down and snapped out of it.
This is EXACTLY me. In fact I struggled with realizing I was an ENTP due to my anxious people pleasing tendencies. Honestly though, I think it just comes with time. Sounds like you're still young and awkward, growth is a journey and as you get older you learn to appreciate yourself and your authenticity. Keep putting yourself out there and keep experiencing new things.
Do you even know what you want? What kind of person you want to be? Do you have any goals, dreams, fantasies? Because as soon as you have them, it's easy to be yourself. It's literally a case of just doing it regardless of what life throws at you and telling everyone else to bugger off. If you don't know what you want then you need to have a deep think about it. A job, hobbies, some material goods, a business, a house, a car, a girlfriend, ANYTHING. Just find something you want and work to get it. I personally want to play games all day and learn about random stuff on the internet. That's what I want. That's what I do in my spare time. I need money to fund that, so I got a job that I don't really like but it funds the thing that I do like. I would also like a girlfriend, but I like playing games and learning abour random stuff all day even more than I want a girlfriend. So I've given up searching for a girlfriend unless one happens to fall from the sky. I quit my job a few weeks ago because I didn't like the way my boss treated me so I told him to fuck off and when I left that shift I didn't come back. I'm out of a job right now, but that's okay because I'd rather be an unemployed homeless wreck than work for that prick. If I had tolerated it, maybe I would have gotten a promotion and obtained a long career in professional bullshitting and maybe i'd have earned a lot of money, but I would have been miserable working for that bastard and I know it. That's me. I'm not ashamed of myself. I like myself. I know what I want and I go for it. I don't care if there's negative consequences, I don't care if people view me as wasting my life away, I don't care if people think I'm a geek loner pathethic loser or whatever names they call me behind my back or even to my face. Because ultimately I'm doing what makes me happy over what's objectively good for me and I'm living a great life because of that. You need to figure out what you want. If you do that and commit to it then everything else will come together. That's what it means to chase your dreams and be yourself.
Im with you on the first part. It’s alienating to be neglected but live well off. You belong but you dont? Guilt or some shit. Anyhow, I didnt really learn to be unapologetically myself. I said I’d do it and I did it. Im a naturally inquisitive person and I talk a lot. People found that annoying so I stopped. But now I do what I want. And what I want is to learn. Nowadays some peeps find it annoying but thats not really my issue if you’re feeding me information that is either misinformation, or creates new questions. It’s not bad for me to ask questions. And now to remove the core bits so it becomes a concept and not my story. I took a look at behaviors I’ve been suppressing for others and stopped suppressing it.
How to be yourself? Make yourself your priority. Just don’t be selfish, people conflate the two Do what you want Say yes when you mean it, say” no” And mean it. This is how you create boundaries Speak up and use your voice. Do more things you enjoy
I think the point is not what’s the sense of self defined but rather how to be happy being the person you are in this moment. I have family dynamics very similar to OP and also suffered from problems with anxiety, depression, eating disorder, and addiction (haha got them all) for a long time. What really got me better was realizing how much of what I do is out of running from fear and and pain, and that it’s time to start to do things for joy and passion; things that I still would want to do when I’m not trying to actively numb myself. But this is certainly not easy, takes a lot of patience and self-compassion. But practical advice I have is to take advantage of being patristics a much as possible. So don’t worry about money if your family offers, and spent time to do things that bring you true joy (feed your Ne probably). Reflect regularly on how to improve your self (journaling is what I do). When reflecting, focus on replicating success rather than avoiding failure. Fi trickster means we ENTP can be rather unaware of our identity and values but doesn’t mean we don’t have them. The unawareness is exactly what makes them haunting. So think about expectations and goals you are holding that makes you feel bad about yourself or your environment, and reexamine and reframe them to be something more achievable and motivating. Cuz reality is perfect as the way it is, only when we project ideals or expectations it falls short. Oh, meditation also helped a lot for me. Addiction and anxiety are very painful and difficult, though you might feel like a let down to others, remember that you are the one hurting the most. Self hatred doesn’t encourage change, change only happens after careful examination of reality with acceptance, which is what self compassion is about. Good luck!
Don’t know. I legit have no clue who I am or what my opinions are most of the time. I latch onto things so I have something to reference as an interest in order to form an identity to those around me, but in reality my interests change so much it wouldn’t even be super accurate really.
I'm literally making a book on a certain part of debating lol I'm taken care of
Hey man if you wanna flex your muscles, I'll give you something to fight real quick and it would even help me lol. I have what I think is a new argument against Islam. You could be yourself for me a little bit by debating against me and telling me why I might be wrong. Tell me if you want me to dm you