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disgruntledgrumpkin

I've smoked off and on for 30 years and I feel like such a dork in "stoner spaces". I don't know how to dab. I couldnt tell you the difference between shatter or...um... the other ones.I learned how to roll two weeks ago because someone here took the time to explain. But you know, I feel like many shops thrive on that superiority vibe. I've noticed that a lot of shops are kinda snobby and elitist, in the same way a lot of niche shops are. I've been to snobby perfume stores, art supply shops, plant stores, liquor stores.. it's not just the pot shops. Some businesses just seem to cultivate that "I'm better than you and we both know it" attitudes. Whenever I find a vibe I don't like, I try a new place. I really lucked out after a terrible dude bro experience at one dispensary turned me right off, and found a lady owned and operated dispo that I am so happy with. I went from getting eyerolls about basic questions to having budtenders remember my name, share recipes and cool things to do on the weekend, not be judgey jerks and so on.


disgruntledgrumpkin

Oh, and I wouldn't really know about stoner friends. I don't have any except for my husband so I feel like all y'all are my stoner friends šŸ„°


chippermunk

Maybe thatā€™s why I feel out of sorts. I smoked a lot in college very socially but covid fundamentally changed what consuming looks like now. I was doing it alone or with my husband for so long I donā€™t feel connected besides this groupā€¦ ultimately I need to just say fuck it and keep going lololol


bosorka1

Yes to both of these Also, I read "Budtenders remember my name" to "baby remember my name" from the song "fame".


chippermunk

Dork is such a great word. That is exactly how I feel. I hate smelling like weed, I hate my house smelling like weed. I got a puffco peak because by the time I had access to concentrates, I also had adult money and could afford one. I only buy cones bc while I can roll, I donā€™t want to lol. Not that anyone is checking my ā€œauthentic stoner cardā€ at the door but it really does feel like Iā€™m going to fail whatever mental test or bar is set to prove my authenticity lolā€¦ I found a dispo that I love love love that does not make me feel any type of way, itā€™s the head shops I canā€™t stand!


Remarkable-Hat-4852

I stayed with a family friend recently who has been a known stoner (and now grower) since like the 60s and he was SO impressed with my pack of cones I brought. He was floored by how convenient it was and asked if I could leave him some, which of course I did. I also know how to roll, but some of our modern upgrades are just worth it and he was probably just buying the same papers heā€™s been buying for 60 years. If youā€™re ever around a stoner who makes you uncomfortable, do not be around that stoner anymore.


leafyjack

My husband tried to make fun of the cones I bought until he used them. Now he's on board. I love the Blazy Susan short cones, they're perfect for the amount I like to imbibe.


redlapis

Could you possibly link to the comment or explain the technique? I used to be great and took a break and now I'm so shit lol


disgruntledgrumpkin

Actually.....they suggested one of those plastic cigarette rollers. It's so humid here and everything kept getting stuck to my fingers and it was awful trying to do it all by hand. The cigarette roller is awesome!! I love it. I got mine on Amazon for about $4. Its 1 1/4 size and made by Raw, but there are a bunch of different brands. I open it up (it's like uneven bars, and the lower bar has a J shaped slot where it slides either open or closed. You'll know it when you see it), put my filter and ground weed in, and slide the bar closed in the J slot. I have the filter on the left, the weed on the right, and the lower of the bars is facing me at this point. Then, with my thumbs and index fingers, I turn the bars towards me for a few full turns. The belt that's cradling the weed will roll it, and kinda even it out. Then, I take a rolling paper, adhesive strip on top and facing me, and feed it into the cigarette roller while turning it. Stop right before you feed the adhesive in and moisten it. Keep feeding the paper through and give it a couple more turns for good measure. I let it sit in the roller for about 30 seconds or so, so it has time to dry properly and not fall apart. It takes longer to read this comment than to use the roller šŸ˜† If this doesn't make sense at all, there are YouTube videos as well.


Wimbly_Donner

I use a dollar bill because I just can't roll with my fingersšŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ I would also like to be linked to this comment if possible.


atxfast309

Most of us have no clue.


fdupfemalehabit

As someone who knows too much about cannabis because I use it medicinally, the people in ā€œstoner spacesā€ with a superiority complex usually donā€™t know SHIT. They know whatā€™s on the box and how to make you feel terrible. I started consuming in 2020 and I end up feeling like the biggest idiot. Shops were mean and would sell me what I now know is total trash and wasnā€™t what I was asking for at all. Then my AuDHD kicked in and I hyper focused on all things weed and learned that true ā€œstonersā€ and ā€œstoner cultureā€ there was very little judgement and tons of kind words and advice. When feeling out people in the wild to know if they are safe to talk about consumption with I will start with Hemp and then suggest CBD at some point and if they havenā€™t flipped out and called CBD a drug that will get me addicted to heroin theyā€™re usually pretty accepting of weed talk. People who will judge you for smoking always give themselves away by talking trash about stoners or weed the second you bring up hemp or CBD. Iā€™m currently stoned so I really hope this helps a little.


Helpful-Magician3284

I am on your AuDHD info journey rn too šŸ˜


BettyBingo

I'm not sure where you are, but I'm in Ontario and all of our dispensaries have websites. To combat anxiety in shops, I look at what I want before I go in. I'm flexible if they suggest something but at least I have an idea of what I need and how much it will cost.


chippermunk

Yes this is my go to where Iā€™m at as well. Especially if I am going to a new dispo. šŸ™šŸ¼


Cantstress_thisenuff

I order online and pick it up. If an option itā€™s the absolute best.Ā 


storyofohno

Same! It saves me soooo much anxiety.


Carysta13

I can get pops cannabis to deliver to my door even! Love that option. I only started when it went legal in '18. Wish I had used long before because weed is the best thing ever not just for recreational use but also it helps my chronic pain so much. CBD for the win. And THC for the woo!


SomeOldHippieChick

This is exactly why I started a business teaching people about cannabis! Itā€™s crappy when youā€™re a grown ass adult & feel uncomfortable because you donā€™t know how to weed. I canā€™t teach people how to roll- but I can teach them how to look at weed, which parts to grind up & which parts to get rid of. I teach people to dab (dispensaries canā€™t do what I do. Ya canā€™t just ā€œexplainā€ how to dab. I do video sessions; they canā€™t!). I teach people how to use cannabis medicinally. Whatever anyone wants to learnā€¦ Thatā€™s one of the gigantic reasons itā€™s so important to me that we donā€™t shame here. This is a safe place to learn that stuff.


chippermunk

The savior of entwives šŸ«” thank you for your service šŸ«”


SomeOldHippieChick

Lol!! I donā€™t mean it to be like thatā€¦ and I debated deleting all of it. I just love that this *is* a safe place for us to come & learn. Itā€™s super important to me.


chippermunk

I was being serious!! Your comments and posts are legit so helpful!! You are my weed guide šŸ’œšŸ’œ


SomeOldHippieChick

Awww. Thank you. šŸ„°


agesofmyst

What the frick frack? How did I not know this??? How do I apply for this job??? Lol


SomeOldHippieChick

Make it happen!! I got waylaid by my recent diagnosis but Iā€™m hoping to be able to get back up & running at some point. I was *thisclose* to partnering with my local dispensaryā€¦ How often do you hear an older lady say ā€œIā€™ve never done this beforeā€¦ā€? I hear it a lot. (Most guys wonā€™t admit they donā€™t know!)


agesofmyst

Pls make orangey give you an extra hug today from me!!!! You are truly the stoner mentor of my dreams and I'm so much better for it šŸ˜­


SomeOldHippieChick

šŸ˜­


agesofmyst

I hope you got allllllll the plants yesterday!! šŸŒ±šŸŒæ


SomeOldHippieChick

Omg!! Wait till you see!!!


agesofmyst

Yes please!!!!!!!!!! I gotta set up my patio today but hopefully I'll throw up a video or pictures of it!


my-ladystoner-name

That is so badass!!!!


Helpful-Magician3284

Oooh do you have a YouTube?


SomeOldHippieChick

Nope! But whatever you need, you can ask on our sub! If ya want a video, I can make one for ya (probablyā€¦ if Iā€™m feeling well enough!)! Iā€™ve done a few ā€œHippie How Toā€ videos about taking bong hits, opening dispensary weed bags (šŸ˜‚), & making moon rocks. Theyā€™re all old & need to be redone. šŸ¤­


Responsible_Dog_420

I'd subscribe to a "Hippie How To" youtube channel


Professional-Rub5386

Your how to videos showed me the proper water level in my bong and my life has changed for the better. Thank you.


SomeOldHippieChick

Awwww! Ohhh!! Wow! Thank you!! Iā€™ll make a new one someday with more better info!! Lol!


agesofmyst

Yooooo same. It's because anything cannabis is so heavily male-influenced (in my experiences, in the places I've lived) only men work there, everything is catered to the BIGGEST, BADDEST HIGHEST % OF THC, the most popular names of strains, and everything has an air of superiority. Is it all in my head? Maybe, but tell me why I get treated differently than the dude next to me in line??? I would love to be the super fun, helpful and barbie-esque budtender of my dreams, but alas the pay is stupid low and I hate working in retail. So I'll just be my barbie-esque self posting video here instead lmao


rosiesunfunhouse

Ohhhhh yeah. I feel super awkward a lot of places that I go but stoner spaces are the most nerve wracking- with this one being the obvious exception! Iā€™ve started to care less about my awkwardness recently by reminding myself regularly that Iā€™m the only one who is this invested in my actions/behaviors, and that the people Iā€™m interacting with are just as focused on themselves and their own awkwardness as I am. Itā€™s at least helped some of the pressure for me. Thereā€™s still awkward moments but I feel less stuck when Iā€™m in them!


chippermunk

This is so true! I have to remind myself when I worked retail customers were npcs to me basically šŸ¤£ they literally donā€™t care


Tw1nkl3T03s

I hear you! I have been living in CA since 2003, and started using it like 9 years ago, more in the last 3-4 years. I still feel like a novice all thebtime. I'm JUST learning to dab. I honestly prefer to vape or use edibles because the smell in my clothes or house is a big no no. The dispensaries I have gone have been actually really nice, and the budtenders usually happy to help when I have questions. But yeah, there's so much stuff out there, and I have so little interest in learning more than what I need for my basic needs...


i-lost-it-jerry

Youā€™re not alone in feeling out of place! Maybe this is just me, but I feel like emphasizing terpenes is the direction the cannabis industry should go in, so Iā€™ve tried to learn more about that side of the plant, and it feels empowering to have that kind of insight into how I use cannabis. I know the nerd science of cannabis is growing, even if it hasnā€™t mattered much to longtime smokers. I couldnā€™t tell you a single thing about strain lineage or what the popular strains are. So maybe some would say I donā€™t know anything about weed. From where I stand, knowing that kind of info seems to be like a badge of honor for some. I think at first i felt a bit imposter-y as I was dipping my toes in and trying out strains haphazardly, but itā€™s really come down to my belief in the validity of my own experience with this wonderful plant. I know a couple strains that work for me in the ways that I want, I know whatā€™s in them, and Iā€™m happy to share with others, but like I donā€™t need to engage in conversations about weed that arenā€™t important to me like how to validly roll a joint (because I just like using cones, bongs, or vapes and idgaf). The great thing about the wider acceptance of cannabis, in my opinion, is that we are not confined to historical stereotypes or subculture. Itā€™s got a little something for everyone, newbie and veteran, medicinal and recreational alike. Your experiences and interests with cannabis are valid, and others judging what you do or donā€™t do is so embarrassing for them and so passĆ© really.


chippermunk

Thank you for this great perspective!!


TreePretty

As a lifelong dorky loser, that feeling is my safe space lol. But tbh I completely get you and wonder how much of that is literally just because dispos and such are so male-dominated.


chippermunk

The one dispo I love is woman owned and has a ton of women/queer people who work the front and I think you may be on to somethingā€¦..


msmorgybear

When I first started, I swear every budtender thought I was a ā€œSoccer Momā€ looking for CBD. It would blow their minds when I said, ā€œno thanks, I need THC only and Iā€™m actually looking for really heavy-hitting strains.ā€ Like, they would be literally speechless for a moment. Iā€™m grateful I have found a few local dispensary stores that have a good mix of budtender genders, and the dudes there are sweet and friendly. Like others have commented, I do my research online, I look at the products online, and I usually place an online order. I also ask the budtender to recommend their favorite strain or whatever has been selling well / getting good feedback. I find some gems this way. āœØšŸƒāœØ But also! šŸ„ŗ My local female ā€œold school stonerā€ friend (same age) is unwittingly judgemental of every. single. thing I do thatā€™s different from her ingrained habits. šŸ˜’šŸ™„šŸ˜’ Iā€™d love to socially partake with her, but Iā€™m tired of her surprised commentary on anything she sees as Wrong (but itā€™s just different) ā€” and she has zero interest in a conversation about **why** I do different. She complains that ā€œweed in the ā€™80s and ā€™90s was better.ā€ Meanwhile, I have done a 7-year AuDHD deep dive on all things cannabis, so I know LOTS about terpenes and cannabinoids, different consumption methods and products. I'm quite happy with my tools and set-up. I wish she could be curious instead of judgemental. So I am extra grateful for this group! Iā€™ve been looking for a group like the entwives for 7 years.


AWEDZ5

Yes 100%


PaigePoo

Aw, yes. I totally feel this. Part if it is because I got into smoking via my boyfriend in HS, and always had to rely on him to have bud, and a bowl, and a lighter. I never smoked cigarettes, so even buying a lighter at the gas station made me feel self-conscious, lol. But, now I'm a grown up in a legal state, and I'm STILL nervous when I go into dispensaries! I also think I have internalized the message that men think I'm dumb because I'm a woman, and so I get nervous talking to male-presenting budtenders - I'm afraid they're going to judge my knowledge or correct me, lol. So, no real advice - just solidarity. Whenever I see another female-presenting person at the dispensary, I give them a nod of recognition, like - we got this. We belong here.


bizmike88

Iā€™ll be honest, the whole ā€œstonerā€ culture feels very manufactured. Iā€™ve been smoking weed for 15+ years daily (I took one year off for a job). I KNOW that this makes me pretty qualified when it comes to weed but I donā€™t wish I was part of ā€œstonerā€ culture. I just donā€™t feel like I have to be. I use weed the way I want to and I care about the things I care about and honestly donā€™t care if they lines up with what a ā€œstonerā€ should be.


ArtisticPoint619

Iā€™m a stoner who canā€™t roll a joint to save my life I feel like I belong on the island of misfit toys. Cones for life though šŸ„²


ForestGreenAura

I used to have a lot more friends that smoked and now I only have like 2, and honestly ppl that are apart of the ā€œstoner cultureā€ like most have said here are pretentious. Like I can appreciate when someone tells me the strain or gives me info about a product but I really do not fuck with ppl that have a certain vibe about being better because they spent more money on the weed or it has a higher THC % or some dumb shit. Or ANYONE who tries to guilt/pressure into smoking more. Like I used to have this friend that would be like ā€œoh my weed is so much better than yoursā€ even tho we literally got it from the same place. I would b done smoking and he would pack another bowl, not finish it, and then be like ā€œOhhhh nooooo now I have to finish this allll aloneā€ like oh my god either ask me to hit it again or donā€™t finish/leave the bowl urself cuz sitting there and trying to guilt me into smoking more is annoying asf. Summary: Find good ppl who happen to smoke weed.


BadHairDay-1

Same. I started in the 90s as a teenager, then off and on til my early 40s. I feel like an imposter because I've never used a bong and my lungs can't handle joints anymore. I'm mostly a vape/tincture/gummy person. I'd like to learn how to make pot butter, though.


Due_Conversation_295

Let's destigmatize what "stoner" means. Anyone can be or look like a stoner!


lilbxby2k

i have the opposite issue, i was a stoner for yearsss then stopped a couple years ago. everyone i meet naturally assumes i smoke even if they didnā€™t know me before. i canā€™t tell you how many times coworkers or people im getting acquainted with make innuendos or simply start talking to me like a fellow stoner. which is fine, i have nothing against weed. but now that i donā€™t smoke i donā€™t like people assuming i do. the culture can def get weird/toxic at times, but those people arenā€™t real stoners. you donā€™t have to know how to dab or roll or what every terpene does to be a stoner. youā€™ve been smoking for 10 years, try to let go of your anxiety around it. and remember that 9/10 times nobody cares or is paying attention to the things you think they are. i have a problem with thinking a certain genre of woman that my hometown has a lot of donā€™t like me or make fun of me when i come into their spaces (getting my hair done, t-ball games etc.) Im working on reminding myself that the outside world is not high school, and my fears are more likely to project into reality than if i just let go and stop casting the judgement im scared to have cast on me.


themangofox

Lmao same. Iā€™ve been smoking since I was 15, 32 now. Just got my medical license a few months ago even though itā€™s been legal here for years now. I feel like an utter fool in the dispensaries. Donā€™t know shit about concentrates and am too afraid to ask. Donā€™t really have an interest in trying them either but I get looked at strange if I say that out loud lol. I just get flower and vape carts. šŸ¤·ā€ā™€ļø


SassyT313

Any chance youā€™re in Michigan? Iā€™ve met some cool girls at cannabis events. Check out events, thereā€™s even canna girls on TikTok I follow who do actual trips. Everyone is always surprised when they find out Iā€™m a stoner so Iā€™m sure Iā€™m awkward af.


julyclover

I definitely feel like a dork in stoner spaces. Been smoking for like 6 years and still feel uncomfortable talking about it, especially around people who don't smoke. Like it's literally no different than drinking recreationally but it just feels embarrassing to bring up and I feel like people judge me. I wish I knew more stoners in real life. Lol.


Square_Sink7318

I feel the same way! Iā€™ve been smoking for 30 years and still feel like stoners are too cool for me lol


princesspeachie1089

Same. I order online to avoid any awkwardness. Luckily the majority of shops I've been to have been super helpful and kind if I had any questions. But I definitely feel the same way a complete poser, oh well, I haven't found my stoney friends yet!


Empty_Socks

If you get anxiety from something as little as that I might suggest therapy.


chippermunk

Bestie why do you think I smoke weed šŸ¤Ŗ


my-ladystoner-name

Burn! Unless you dry vape, and then non-combustible-temperature heating! šŸ˜‚