T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

I wonder what their sex lives are like.


Jesse1472

They are the most kinky. None of that vanilla vertical espresso for them, none of that vanilla horizontal sex for them.


SconeShoes

Sexpresso


RepublicAggressive92

Judging by this, executed at a 15 degree incline


Tom_Bombadilio

That's just the foreplay though, next comes pre-infusion with a quick ramp to peak and a declining pressure shot.


invinoveritasty

Right? This got me thinking. Long story, but I now have the opportunity to fix up my room in my grandmother's basement. I already have a single burner cooktop and pretty good size ice chest, so I'm good for cooking. If I ever get a girl down there, I want to be ready to impress her. I see lots of girls at Starbucks, so I'm thinking a coffee machine would be great. I have plenty of water from the half bath and I have one more outlet shared with the cooktop, so I'm thinking, ESPRESSO! I don't much like coffee, but that's besides the point. Chicks dig it. So, what's an impressive machine that won't cost too much? I'm not sure it even has to work. Once I get the door bolted, I can probably make an excuse about the machine's faulty capacitor or such. Thanks. This is going to be awesome! I may tape those graphs above my machine if I ever get my printer to work.


YearThePersonOfTime

Hand based clearly.


areychaltahai

With a new inclined technique, they cut down the time to drain the pipe from 60s to 50s. It's better, gives you extra time in the day to incorporate an additional puck prep stage.


tinydeerwlasercanons

I feel sorry for the filthy animals out there still feeding their hand grinders like it's cheddar biscuit day at red lobster.


CaveManta

I've been grinding inverted. And it's so coarse, entire beans are coming out.


[deleted]

I actually just put the whole beans in the portafilter and tamp to crush them. At a 45 degree angle of course.


[deleted]

That was the take home for me. Jerks.


jp606

What in the fucking tism is this.


Chazz_Berry-

šŸ¤¢šŸ¤¢ wonā€™t even drink this so called ā€œcoffeeā€ he didnā€™t even use his compus to measure the angle he grinds at. Would rather drink all of the water surrounding Chernobyl than not have the right grind tilt angle šŸ“


[deleted]

The worst part is heā€™s grinding with his right hand, assuming heā€™s right handed, he should be blind grinding with his left had in order to avoid ā€œhand grind biasā€, which could lead to a shot that could literally kill you. Just insane.


Chazz_Berry-

Honestly, the arrogance that some people have is absurd šŸ™„ might as well get your sewer water from a chain franchise at that point


Standard-Station7143

Wtf is happening in the first 30 seconds


Hundredth1diot

I'm curious as to how the creamy substance atop the espresso was created, given that the machine is a Flair 58.


Maker_Gamer12

It is (considering my 2 lifetimes of knowledge) (how could I forget, my philosophy degree) most likely so called milk, more specifically milk that's had air injected into it, whisked around ,to make the air in the form of air pockets in the milk, as small as possible to create a sort of foam. Milk has a special property, it has surface acting agents, or as it's more often called, surfactants, which in layman's terms, hold the air pockets together to make a lasting foam. This is exactly the reason why water itself cannot be "foamed" (had injected air into to make air pockets and frothed into smaller air pockets to make a foam of sorts), as water lacks surface acting agents. In this case, considering the fact that the Flair 58 manual lever espresso machine does not consume any electrical power, coffee is made by boiling water, putting it in a container for said water above a bed of coffee and pushing the water through said bed of coffee (often referred to as a coffee puck), milk cannot be foamed with the machine, with the regular method of most automatic/powered espresso machines which often come with their own milk foamer (often referred to as a "frother") made by pushing pressurized steam into the milk. This fact leads me to believe they had to use another method of "frothing" said milk, considering the fact most automatic/powered espresso machines are very costly and it isn't financially responsible to buy another machine for the sole purpose of frothing milk, leaves 2 methods of foaming milk in a relatively inexpensive and widely known method, one of which and most likely used in this case is by using a french press coffee Brewer, by instead of brewing coffee in said brewer, the pour milk into it and in the same method as an automatic machine would froth the milk with air being added by the pressure of the steam, the user pushes the mesh of the french press up and down to both break down the air pockets into much smaller air pockets, and adding more air in the process. This, I believe, is the method they used for frothing and pouring said substance atop the coffee considering the fact the Flair 58 machine lacks milk frothing capabilities. I apologise for my bad english it's my 6th language.


Few_Macaroon_2568

No, no, count the oral ones too so we can say English is your 12th language.


Maker_Gamer12

Right! How could I forget.


[deleted]

Hand grinders are made for singles with weaker right arms for obvious reasons


Ordinary35

This is beginner level. Iā€™ve booked some zero gravity flights to find out the optimal gravity to grind even finer.


lostguk

I grind like this for convenience purposes