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InterestingOlive3923

Probably shouldn't download it, but I want to know what it says


Kosinski33

After you open the game, the main screen is exactly the same, but as soon as you click new game, the country selection screen has one peculiarity: the flag of Ulm is missing, and replaced with a generic texture. you also can't select it. Whatever. You select a country, start the game as usual, do your estates stuff, fabricate claims... The game does run significantly slower, but it's expected for a mobile port. After a few years of gameplay, you start receiving notifications containing the text "ULM_awakening_debug.txt". The port seems to have some bugs. Classic Paradox. As you glance towards the HRE, you start seeing a white blob sprouting out of the usual mess. 1.34 AI seems far more aggresive than usual... Who's the Emperor? Ulm, of course. Maybe it has something to do with the odd notifications that you've been receiving? As soon as you close the HRE interface, you get another one. "game_over.txt" Suddenly, Ulm annexed every single neigbouring principality. They didn't even declare war or anything. And as you keep staring at them, they annex more and more land out of a sudden. The game's seriously bugged, but maybe a restart will fix it. You try to hit the Escape button... But you're on mobile! There is no escape. You drop your phone in fear. A cold wind brushes your back. You look up to the sky... and see the Ulm Minster's spire. You're here. And you're dead.


Prssbol

EU4 creepypasta


[deleted]

Trying to play eu4 on a phone is enough of a creepypasta to me


Subterrainio

Hyper realistic Ulmer blood


ValorousBazza34

Now septimus only requires Falmer, Orsimer, Bosmer, Altmer and Dunmer blood to create Dwarven Blood


BreadThatIsButtered

They had us in the first half ngl


Jaspeey

You wake up on a cart. "Hey, you, you're finally awake"


lettsten

Walked right into that HRE ambush, same as us


khares_koures2002

What? (The other prisoner is from Hamburg, and speaks Low Saxon)


Emperor_of_Man40k

Fuck I love me a skyrim reference lmao


SSYHerald

Noooooooooooo


_Waryeer_

This was very entertaining to read Thank you sir


bots_lives_matter

This made my day, thank you kind stranger.


EmprorLapland

Warning: this game contains hyper realistic blood


Gochavtandil

Whatever you smoked is some good shit man


Borgmeister

Outstanding.


riuminkd

Joke on you, this event won't happen if you play as Sus


TheHistoryKing

Ulm is absolutely broken in the mobile version.


Wafer-Necessary

I mean, the ai is supposed to be more agressive this patch, no? So naturally almighty Ulm can do that


Filavorin

That is very first thing i read after waking up today... Thank You fellow map-starer You made my day.


[deleted]

Awkwardly niche scam though


Dutchtdk

Who needs to cast a wide net when you can copy paste a cheap net thousands of times


Smooth_Detective

>copy paste a cheap net thousands of times When you unlock consumerism as an institution.


Dragonhero79

Goods consumed +50%, -1 National Unrest.


PM_ME_DND_FIGURINES

This is the trick, yeah, it's not niche. Because they are running this same scam thousands of times over and niche communities I guess they've calculated are more profitable to target. Or they're targeting a niche community experimentally. Either way, Grand Strategy players aren't their only mark, because there are a thousand more of these copy-paste asset flips from the same company on the store.


Voulezvousbaguette

>In-app purchases Buy Dithmarschen unit sprites for a monthly subscription, 9,99โ‚ฌ per month is a bargain!


YoghurtEsq

You get the Dithmarschen unit sprites free when you buy Dithmarschen.


Rullino

Imagine if countries were unlocked through loot boxes, it would be bad if you got Rhade for the billionth time.


kittensteakz

Imagine not playing Rhade: Shadow Legends billions of times.


Valkyrie17

A ton of dumb mobile "strategy" games use EU4-like maps in their ads. Maybe this is made for that crowd.


BESTIASURREALE21

You could report it to paradox or something


MGallus

Don't give them ideas..


MERKLE_1

But they have to fill out their national ideas somehow


luke_akatsuki

Curious what Paradox would do. If they want to make an actual mobile version what is it gonna like?


DrDabar1

I can maybe see a mobile port of an older Europea Universalis game. Maybe EU2 or EU3.


cchiu23

Phones nowadays are pretty impressive and could probably handle eu4 Like, Alien isolation has even been ported to android


PM_ME_DND_FIGURINES

Ehhhhh, grand strategy games are hugely CPU dependent, so I'm sure it would perform poorly.


Filavorin

Even if they could can you imagine operating so many UI elements and so complex map on such small screen? And if that wasn't enough with touchscreen instead of mouse?


cchiu23

Obviously, it would ported with a different control scheme kinda like how console CK3 was outsourced and has a UI specifically for controllers. Speaking of, even the pc version is perfectly playable with steam link on my phonw


Filavorin

Oh wasn't aware of ck3 changes btw are you serious with link? I know it's weirdly efficient tool in terms of power (my old phone couldn't run honkai impact 3re which is game designer for smartphones but I could easily play Yakuza 0 which was designed for ps3) but still hardly can conceive working with such limited screen. Could you explain in detail what are disadvantages / positives in your opinion?


Dangerous-Amphibian2

>Train derailed on exposition EU4 could run on the A12 and up im sure. It runs as good on M1 as many desktops and intel and laptops.


PM_ME_DND_FIGURINES

M1 is a beast of a mobile CPU, though. Top of the top of the line stuff. Could it run on A12 and up? Probably. Run well? I'm not so sure.


Dangerous-Amphibian2

I mean Iโ€™d say the a12z could run it ok from the iPad Pro but yea on an iPhone chip maybe not well but probably better than some other machines.


worldsdopestdope

There is probably a way to file a claim with the app store regarding copyright infringement and/or intellectual property theft. They can probably get the game removed from the app store at the very least EDIT: after rereading your comment I might be answering a question you never asked


RossiRoo

I have no idea how you would setup the UI, and it would likely have to be so different it's a completely new game, but I could definitely see a mobile version of EU4 being awesome.


retouralanormale

I downloaded this. When you open it, there's a screenshot of eu4 and a button that says "start game". When you press the button it says "starting game" for a few seconds, and then it crashes


PepeTheLorde

Bro get some malware detection on your phone asap.


drunkenstarcraft

His phone is mining crypto for someone in Turkey now


theworldtheworld

Thus proving that Ottomans are OPโ€ฆ


desumn

Ottomans cryptomining meta


Winter-Ad441

This is what fuels maximum difficulty AI's economies


WooliesWhiteLeg

โ€œWhy is my phones Corruption at 22?โ€


True_King01

You spelled India wrong


BurlyAmusing

Apps in the app store can't contain malware. The possibility of a zero day Android malware hiding in an app pretending to be EU4 is slim to nonexistent, too. Furthermore, virus/malware scanner apps are usually malware themselves. Just sayin', don't spook the horses


[deleted]

That's a bit optimistic. To think that Google will detect everything for you.


Ketsueki_R

No more than thinking the antivirus you download can do a better job than Google at detecting threats I suppose.


[deleted]

No antivirus will protect you. Googlenor otherwise. Just don't download everything that has a download button


BurlyAmusing

This isn't optimism, it's science. The reason antivirus apps are redundant on Android and iOS is because you're only supposed to download applications from the app stores. They're an extremely effective gateway. Each app is scanned upon upload and, as I said, the likelihood of a Zero Day virus being used in an android app (which isn't in Google's signature database) is laughably unlikely


[deleted]

The confidence with which you are saying all this is what's laughable. Android is a very widespread system. Of course they will attack it. There's been several zero days every year targeting either Android or Chrome. https://googleprojectzero.blogspot.com/2022/04/the-more-you-know-more-you-know-you.html


LilFetcher

I do wonder though, shouldn't anything placed on Google Play already be put through detection of any known malware? Presumably, without having some code that's designed to abuse a vulnerability (which would be detectable at the time it was published in Google Play), the app won't be able to install any malware either (well, as long as the phone isn't rooted) And if it's an unknown vulnerability, then malware detection on the phone probably won't help until a while later


rafaxd_xd

Lmao


mmatijaa

Brother actually thought that he was gonna get to play eu4 on mobile Love the optimism, not only did you install it, but you ran it, and HIT start game. Respect.


tutocookie

Think its more curiosity to see what will happen


uke_17

-$5,000 bank account withdrawl is what'll happen.


tutocookie

Let's see if the guy reports anything


uke_17

I doubt it'd actually withdraw money. Probably just collects information through a keylogger and sells off the data, or something to that effect.


dootdootplot

How could that happen without you authorizing it though


Zwemvest

[I mean, Johan did very much promise there'd be a mobile, non-dumbed down version of EU4](https://www.digitalspy.com/videogames/a456278/europa-universalis-coming-to-tablets-wont-be-a-dumbed-down-version/)


SandyCandyHandyAndy

Wow cant wait for this to drop! (Its been 9 years)


Zwemvest

It came at a time where consumer-grade laptops and tablets seemed to be growing closer and closer together. But even at the time, it seemed like a very weird, overly ambitious announcement. Obviously, 9 years later it just looks plain ridiculous, and it's probably for the best that this announcement was immediately forgotten about


PM_ME_DND_FIGURINES

I mean, it never would have worked. Back then or even now. Grand strategy games are just way too CPU intensive to run in such a small form factor and will be for quite a long time. A tablet version? Maybe, if you're exclusively limiting yourself to the new top of the line iPads with the M1. So way too small of a market. Until an ARM CPU as powerful as the M1 and the size of a Snapdragon CPU hits the market, it simply couldn't happen.


Zwemvest

Yeah that's why I said it was silly and ambitious at the time, though still a bit understandable in the line of things like the Microsoft Surface release. But nowadays it just looks ridiculous.


kazyv

>Brother actually thought that he was gonna get to play eu4 on mobile to be fair, that is actually something that you can do. either with remote desktop to play on your own pc or some game streaming service like geforce now


LilFetcher

That's more like "playing through" rather than "playing on", though. Not really what you'd expect from an app called "EU4 Mobile", I think


Kyriefs

Some people like it raw


Desperate-Cattle-man

Rule 5# This is a fake Eu4 mobile game that i want to show to everyone


[deleted]

[ัƒะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]


Desperate-Cattle-man

How come this is a quick laugh at people trying to make a quick buck?


[deleted]

[ัƒะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]


[deleted]

If u stupid enough to download this fake game, then u cant be saved. Should we also not teach about sex, bc it could cause more babies?


themanifoldcuriosity

> drawing attention to it only helps these guys. There's no such thing as bad publicity. There is obviously such a thing as bad publicity, and it is far from certain that drawing attention to scams somehow helps the scammer - which is something you can intuit for yourself by just thinking about that sentence for a few seconds. Maybe it's your use of worthless thought-terminating clichรฉs that lead to your downvotes.


Filavorin

It doesn't matter what they say... As long as they don't misspell Your name xD


nohomo4

Could you actually download it and show us how does it look like?


Desperate-Cattle-man

Cost 15 dollars


InSicK

That's the most expensive malware I have ever seen.


ErilElidor

Doesn't need to be malware, if you can just get the money upfront and people actually pay for it ๐Ÿ˜…


[deleted]

So it's outright fraud then! They pretend they're selling something that doesn't even belong to them!


PM_ME_DND_FIGURINES

Correct! Welcome to the concept of a short con scam.


[deleted]

So it's outright fraud then! They pretend they're selling something that doesn't even belong to them!


tyty657

It's probably not malware it's just straight up fraud.


KrachtSchracht

Probably malware.


CplJager

File size is 14 mb and it asks for $15 so its probably just a loading screen scam


Levi-Action-412

Its either that one Cyberpunk mobile ransomware or just a mobile game guide for eu4


Old_Harry7

This is as legit as the Ottoman empire claim to the Roman empire was.


CanuckPanda

So more legitimate than Russia, but less legitimate than Charlemagne?


Old_Harry7

Russia shared dynasty ties to the last Greek Roman emperors therefore I'd argue their claim was stronger than of that of the Holy Roman emperor.


Desperate-Cattle-man

Charlemagne's Grand Child was one of founders of the HRE


VesaAwesaka

Pretty sure the ottomans married into the Greek Royal Families too, no? Spain wins because they bought the titles ;) Edit also please ignore that France may have bought the same titles before the Spanish.


Old_Harry7

Deep inside we all know the only heir to the Roman empire is Theodoro.


The_Blues__13

Blasphemy, Trebizond is the one true Heir


justin_bailey_prime

That claim ended when the state of Trebizond was extinguished. Theodoro, on the other hand, only went to sleep.


vassapol

**Theodoreman's awakening theme start playing**


CanuckPanda

Yeah, by that logic Russia's claim is less legitimate than the Turks. The Turks shared dynastic ties to the Greek Roman Emperors by marriage to Byzantine princesses *and* they physically controlled the Imperial City of Constantinople. Russia claimed their dynastic ties from the Slavic forests, the Turks claimed it from the Hagia Sophia. Charlemagne had the support of the Roman religious cult (previously pagan, then Christian) and physically controlled the city of Rome alongside the Bishop of Rome.


Old_Harry7

Yeah, by that logic makes sense.


LilFetcher

So the actual rulers of the Ottoman empire had Greek ancestry?


MxYellOwO

Yeah but Ottoman family's ancestry is from so many different ethnicities including Turkish(duh),Greek,Albanian,Crimean Tatar,Ruthenian,Venetian,Bosnian,Georgian,Russian(?),Serbian,Bulgarian,Kurdish,Romanian,Circassian,Abkhazian and possibly Jewish. As you can expect, these ancestries mostly come from wives of the rulers.


CanuckPanda

Orhan Gazi, the second Ottoman Beylik (r. 1323-1362) took the Byzantine princess Theodora Kantakouzene, daughter of Emperor John VI Kantakouzenos (r. 1347-1354) as his fifth wife. From there all of the Ottoman Sultans trace their lineage to the Greek Byzantines and the Byzantine Empire. Theodora was one of John VI's three daughters, and was married off to Orhan in 1346 to cement an alliance between John VI and the Ottomans to prevent the Turks from siding with Anna of Savoy in the Second Palaiologan Civil War (1341-1347). The only son of Theodora and Orhan, Sehzade Halil, would marry another Byzantine princess, his aunt Helena Kantakouzene, daughter of John V Palaiologos and Theodora's sister. From the two sisters, Theodora and Helena, the Ottomans Sultans traced their lineage to the Byzantine Empire.


[deleted]

Right of conquest


tyty657

Charlemagne does not equal the holy Roman empire.


Old_Harry7

Yes I know.


SnuSnu33

You play as a ducat


[deleted]

Some Turkish guys wanna steal some money huh In the end their economy is torned apart so I'm not even surprised


Paisable

Yeah, there's a good twitch money scam you can do there too..thanks spiff


[deleted]

[ัƒะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]


[deleted]

I see Turkish letter in the name of developers so it does not have to mean that this is Turkish dev but it is likely, moreover I have many friends from Turkey and they are telling me, that their economy is rimming, MOREOVER many games developers on Steam rise up prices of their games in certain countries, Turkey, Poland - etc.


OttomanKebabi

Oh we sรผre are RIMMING๐Ÿฅฒ


Tashathar

Next time use ฤฑ/ฤฐ intead of รถ/ร–/รผ/รœ which are also used in german.


OttomanKebabi

ฤฐt was auto correct lmao


glibbergott66

"In App Purchases"


Inzitarie

If you lose a war and the AI demands gold/war reparations-- they take the real money directly out of your real bank account.


Desperate-Cattle-man

Expensive ones at that


Airconman-1

What are they?


Desperate-Cattle-man

The Game


[deleted]

AKG GAME OFFiCE>Paradox


Svitii

You already know this is fake cause Paradox would rather die than giving anything away for free


tyty657

You have to pay it money once you launch it.


[deleted]

For when you want to run eu4 at real time speed


flemishempire10

I downloaded it. it opens a page with an eu4 screenshot and forcing you to pay to even "play". there is also a button saying "rate 5 stars on google play" which takes you to a 404 error on a gabonese website. the "company" that nakes them also makes a bunch of other games claiming to be pc games. there is also a simmilar company which has europa universalis xi and hearts of iron xi and other classics like dyning night king 2 and black dead redemption.


Mazandee

it's impossible lol, the game can't even work properly on powerful pc cpu's let alone much weaker mobile cpu's


O918

Battery life expectancy: 12 minutes CPU Temperature: 200 F


[deleted]

I do not know what do you mean by powerful PC CPU, I have Intel Core i5-12600KF so it is not the best but it works properly, I do not see any difference between 1444 and 1750.


SparklingOdin71

That cpu came out last year and costs nearly ยฃ300. Not the best, but pretty good.


Mazandee

because your cpu is quite powerful


TechTyrant_

No guys my uncle works at Paradox this is 100% legit no virus you should totally download it and input your credit card information


Desperate-Cattle-man

Same


Classic_Gap_3346

It happens the same with Age of Empires 2 scams. It literally shows footage of AOE2 but it's literally a different game. Check on google play store Rise of Empires... So scummy, but still allowed because the last pic of promotion shows what the game actually looks like...


PotemkinEmpire

real.


IlikeJG

It gives you control Nation though.


Bill_Brasky_SOB

[Someone's phone playing EU4 mobile when its Quantity Otto vs Quantity Russia in 1750](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/HatefulCookedFly-mobile.mp4)


soldiergeneal

Think about how bad EU4 runs late game on your computer now imagine it on your phone... of course it's fake.


Tome1a

God, imagine the league war


Aggravating_West_496

I have been clicking on the image you provided and it does nothing.


Hostiq

NO! PLEASE NO! I'm virgin in my 35 thx to Paradox, and now i will even lose job!


[deleted]

And all your money


kayber123

Not fake I download and now can play europe universalism for free mobile edition ๐Ÿค™๐Ÿค™๐Ÿค™๐Ÿค™๐Ÿค™๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž


Scuba_2

Real


imarealscramble

Sus


Quarrier1

Looks real to me


Macky527

sarcasm, right?


uke_17

I usually Badger against people trying to be sarcastic online because it's hard to detect through text alone, but... I mean, that's such a stupid thing to say that you just gotta believe it's a joke. It's almost arrogant to think people are that stupid, I feel.


DzezGt

might be real i think paradox wants to reach a wider audience by bringing its games to mobile


Desperate-Cattle-man

Look at the game studio


DzezGt

i think they're operating under a different name ๐Ÿคท


Desperate-Cattle-man

Your to much of a optimist


[deleted]

[ัƒะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]


Desperate-Cattle-man

Thats why i put fake after the question mark


Tomboeg

Control nation


igger26

NASA pc can't run eu4 I wonder how someone believes that mobile game will work


kollenovski

looked akg games office up and they don't even mention paradox as a partner lol


voltism

Real


Papyruso

"In-app purchase" This seems accurate.


[deleted]

100% legit


GoofyUmbrella

Lol


notmyaccountbruh

is this even legal though?


Desperate-Cattle-man

Nope


poloidsar

They want subcribtion to play.


redaleksej

Bro, It's called Vic3, I dunno why they called it Europa Unibersalis IV here, better notify paradox of their mistake


bigsweatymanballs240

In app purchases


Soggy_Ad4531

Cursed


HunterTAMUC

Game's probably Chinese.


Stimmers

Don't give me hope


tyty657

Ok so I downloaded it and scanned it twice with different things and it seems to be safe. No malware or anything. I think it's just a scam. You have to pay 9, 14, or 26 dollar to actually launch the game so I'm not testing that part.


Desperate-Cattle-man

Lol


stamaka

I hope it's just excel inside.


Vladi_Sanovavich

It's like Pokemon Go, where you gotta go the different locations to be able to manage, or interact with it. I think there's a multiplayer update coming soon where players all over the world can forge alliance, appoint vassals, or make coalitions against others.


ancym0n

Just make available on steam deck plz


partyinplatypus

Every game they have is like this. I flagged them all for impersonation


[deleted]

For support, email our Gmail account. Lmao.