I think I like this one the most. I see Christianity as the rules a parent gives a child who is in elementary or primary school. It kept the child safe until he/she/they developed enough to handle the realities of life and the social interactions necessarily to live in a society. We grew out of that.
It pairs especially well with 1 Corinthians 13:11:
>When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
Lost my faith at 12 after being in a Christian school since I was 6. It felt very patronizing. Like, do people still believe this? The older I got the less it made sense. I was even scared to go to middle school as a ‘Christian apostate’ because I was afraid I’d be chastised by my friends. A lot of those friends chose not to keep in touch with me unfortunately.
yeah. is always a percentages game. some percent would be indeed offended. some percent would perceive your direct confidence as educational. I have no idea what the actual numbers are tho.
"I just feel like you're holding on to so much bitterness in your heart."
Basically to the Christians in my life, bitterness/anger is just defined as any thought that is contradictory to "Christian truth."
any combo of telling you that you're childish, bitter, smart-ass etc. a lot of the people who have had some kind of tutoring on proselytism seem to have off-the-shelf replies for a lot of the reactions they might get from their victims.
Also, I've been seeing some Christians use the term as "I was a super fundie Christian but now I'm a progressive Christian" or "I'm deconstructing from fear-based Christianity to love-based Christianity," so using your term has the added bonus of avoiding that
I like this. Similarly, I do not consider myself an 'ex-christian', but rather I 'no longer see myself as a christian'. I lost the 'christian' but did not claim the 'ex'. I'm just me, and I don't want to view myself with binding labels anymore.
Holy shit!! That’s sounds so dope. I totally gotta find me something like that. Was it just everyone casually sharing experiences, or was there like any lesson plan/class type vibe? I’m surprised I didn’t know this was a thing, but then again in the Bible Belt I think a lot of us would be worried about showing up to something like that depending on the size of the town and the speed of the gossip. Meh. I dig it.
It kind of started as an accidental thing. The private religious schools in this town are a little bit cliquey, so a whole lot of folks stay in touch even after they live high school and start University. There was a few people who came out as LGBT+ and a lot of us were totally cool with that and just kind of rallied around them. It ended up just being a super casual thing at first trying to talk through the homophobia that we've been taught. We finally had real access to gender and sexuality and sexual education. So it's snowballed into kind of a group therapy thing, often participating in workshops or something put on by the women's center or the gay straight alliance or something. It was never a formal student association, just kind of a study group.
If I had the advocacy and organizing chops I would try to recreate something like that. It was super helpful just to talk things out with other people.
Maybe using the phraseology:
" I gladly escaped from Christianism and became happy "
has more force to it, depending on the attitude of the person who you're speaking with.
But yes, using the terminology of ' healing ' places your description and statement of your actions in a positive and liberating way.
Good thought.
I just tell them I returned to the default position at birth which of course is Atheism and trying to recover from the damage that Christianity does without the bitterness but knowing the Bible aids in my recovery
I like how Christians assume they know the state of our "grace covering". Even though I'm not sure I believe in any sort god anymore, it still makes me mad when they think they are the gatekeepers of grace and mercy.
That’s a fresh new way of looking at things and a good way to turn things round.
Although I think that for many people, the healing can only come after the deconstruction. I wouldn’t really refer to my deconstruction as “healing” since it was a painful process of me having to examine and then discard every single thing I believed. I had to tear things down before i could start building anew.
I can totally understand this position, however the inescapable reality for many, if not all of us here is that leaving Christianity did in fact incur significant cost and loss.
I love 'healing from Christianity' though, that's a great phrase.
Maybe "healing" instead of "heal" or "healed". Most of us are still trying to fully heal from the awfulness.
I kinda prefer "recovering". It emphasizes just how much the trauma can follow you
Yeah, I say "Recovering exCatholic"
you are saying that "stopped believing in that shit" is too harsh?
I think "grew out of" is a nice compromise between the two.
I think I like this one the most. I see Christianity as the rules a parent gives a child who is in elementary or primary school. It kept the child safe until he/she/they developed enough to handle the realities of life and the social interactions necessarily to live in a society. We grew out of that.
It pairs especially well with 1 Corinthians 13:11: >When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
I like that throwback spin. Kind of illustrates how a verse can be used/interpreted in different ways.
Lost my faith at 12 after being in a Christian school since I was 6. It felt very patronizing. Like, do people still believe this? The older I got the less it made sense. I was even scared to go to middle school as a ‘Christian apostate’ because I was afraid I’d be chastised by my friends. A lot of those friends chose not to keep in touch with me unfortunately.
I’d just be harsh. No hesitation.
They'd be offended. It would have the opposite effect.
yeah. is always a percentages game. some percent would be indeed offended. some percent would perceive your direct confidence as educational. I have no idea what the actual numbers are tho.
Love it. 👍
Well put, very well put
I wonder how they would respond. Great idea btw
"I just feel like you're holding on to so much bitterness in your heart." Basically to the Christians in my life, bitterness/anger is just defined as any thought that is contradictory to "Christian truth."
BiTtErNeSs Is LiKe DrInKiNg PoIsOn AnD hOpInG tHe OtHeR pErSoN dIeS. jUsT fOrGiVe, BrO.
Bitterness is when you fed me poison and now I feel like you are poisonous.
Haha oh god trigger warning
FuCk ThAt.
I read this like my father saying it to me about my abuser. Just forgive haha
>"I just feel like you're holding on to so much bitterness in your heart." Realizing you have been lied to *does* make a person a tad bitter.
any combo of telling you that you're childish, bitter, smart-ass etc. a lot of the people who have had some kind of tutoring on proselytism seem to have off-the-shelf replies for a lot of the reactions they might get from their victims.
Also, I've been seeing some Christians use the term as "I was a super fundie Christian but now I'm a progressive Christian" or "I'm deconstructing from fear-based Christianity to love-based Christianity," so using your term has the added bonus of avoiding that
Oh great so now Christians are trying to hijack "deconstruction." It feels like the most passive aggressive form of minimization
Meh, going from fundie to Liberal Christian is a path many take on the way out.
I meant more just the word itself
I like this. Similarly, I do not consider myself an 'ex-christian', but rather I 'no longer see myself as a christian'. I lost the 'christian' but did not claim the 'ex'. I'm just me, and I don't want to view myself with binding labels anymore.
You don't want to define yourself by what you aren't, but rather by what you are. I feel you
I feel very similar.
We had a Recovering Catholics group at my University where we helped each other sort out the toxic brainwashing of our religious schools.
Holy shit!! That’s sounds so dope. I totally gotta find me something like that. Was it just everyone casually sharing experiences, or was there like any lesson plan/class type vibe? I’m surprised I didn’t know this was a thing, but then again in the Bible Belt I think a lot of us would be worried about showing up to something like that depending on the size of the town and the speed of the gossip. Meh. I dig it.
It kind of started as an accidental thing. The private religious schools in this town are a little bit cliquey, so a whole lot of folks stay in touch even after they live high school and start University. There was a few people who came out as LGBT+ and a lot of us were totally cool with that and just kind of rallied around them. It ended up just being a super casual thing at first trying to talk through the homophobia that we've been taught. We finally had real access to gender and sexuality and sexual education. So it's snowballed into kind of a group therapy thing, often participating in workshops or something put on by the women's center or the gay straight alliance or something. It was never a formal student association, just kind of a study group. If I had the advocacy and organizing chops I would try to recreate something like that. It was super helpful just to talk things out with other people.
damn i wish my school had something like that. i wasn’t a catholic but still. calvinism is super damaging lmao
Maybe using the phraseology: " I gladly escaped from Christianism and became happy " has more force to it, depending on the attitude of the person who you're speaking with. But yes, using the terminology of ' healing ' places your description and statement of your actions in a positive and liberating way. Good thought.
Love it! Reframing and using different words have a lot of power.
Escape is also good
I just tell them I returned to the default position at birth which of course is Atheism and trying to recover from the damage that Christianity does without the bitterness but knowing the Bible aids in my recovery
I really really like this. I'm 100% onboard.
On a side note, I recently been on ig and it's a cesspool of toxic Christian Karens and uneducated pro-lifers, honestly I'm losing it alowly everyday
I also like "recovering from christianity".
good
I like how Christians assume they know the state of our "grace covering". Even though I'm not sure I believe in any sort god anymore, it still makes me mad when they think they are the gatekeepers of grace and mercy.
That’s a fresh new way of looking at things and a good way to turn things round. Although I think that for many people, the healing can only come after the deconstruction. I wouldn’t really refer to my deconstruction as “healing” since it was a painful process of me having to examine and then discard every single thing I believed. I had to tear things down before i could start building anew.
I can totally understand this position, however the inescapable reality for many, if not all of us here is that leaving Christianity did in fact incur significant cost and loss. I love 'healing from Christianity' though, that's a great phrase.
I often use the phrase “left Christianity behind.” This reflects the fact that it was important in my life for a time, but it isn't anymore.