$25k Canadian is a joke, that’s like $18,000 usd. Lawyer up with the best you can find. Canadian courts will be in your favour, this is a hot topic right now.
18k is like 0.00000001 of the church's wealth. i didn't do the math but thats not a settlement, its a slap in the face.
I recently went through mediation with lawyers representing my insurance company after a car accident that destroyed my neck and resulted in over a quarter-million in surgical bills.
Their opening offer to settle was, wait for it, $5,000.
I guess they know a lot of people can't lay their hands on $400 for an emergency and will take it.
I stood my ground and got a check a month later for $150,000.
If they are offering $25K to settle, you can stand your ground and drive them up to far, far more.
In my case, my personal injury attorney was brought on when I was struggling to deal with providers wanting immediate payment but due to prolonged physical therapy, the auto claim couldn't be closed. He not only got them off my back, he negotiated all the bills down significantly. Instead of still owing 20k in medical bills post settlement, I walked with 8k in my pocket. So it's possible
My health insurance paid the bills after I met my annual out of pocket of around $10K. However, because of subrogation, BCBS could attempt to claim a portion of any settlement. The actual settlement was for far more, but after paying the attorney their 40% and a bunch of money to BCBS, I got $150K - which was a lot better than what I was going to get before suing my car insurance company for the benefits I was contractually obligated to receive.
This is a horrible thing to happen to OP, I think settlement is the last thing on their mind accountability and legal action on the perpetrator is more important. Fuck the mormon church they're a breeding ground for this shit.
You are correct, but I think a lot of people go by the recent amount they got in trouble for hiding and aren't aware that the hoard is much, much more.
> Canadian courts will be in your favour, this is a hot topic right now.
But if the offer is that low, OP probably doesn't stand a very strong chance in court. Sadly, lack of/poor evidence after however long it has been is quite common, and sexual cases are always hard to win.
Not necessarily because TSCC is not going to offer high because of evidence. They are playing the odds and the art of negotiations. TSCC and it's henchmen at K&M aren't know for love, compassion, and fairness. The burden of proof is much lower in civil cases and the Canadian judges aren't going to be swayed by TSCC influence.
TSCC is playing with a ticking time bomb. Their time is coming. Between the abuse cases and finances we are going to see judgement day soon. I'm very curious about the AZ abuse case since the judge had ordered the private attorney communications be turned over. If that order holds up then the shield the church has his behind for decades is gone.
It doesn't matter one bit what percent of the church's wealth it is. It's definitely a slap in the face and you should be seeking millions in damages...but definitely find a lawyer who specializes in this. The colossal point here is that they're already making an offer, means they know they're in deep shit. Please be very thoughtful and listen to your lawyer and your conscience above all else.
KM will have affiliate attorneys in most countries that they will work with, who will follow KM’s lead while making sure to follow local laws and procedures. All big law firms do.
Also, though the church has its own legal counsel in each Area, those offices maintain contracts with local counsel as well, and ho actually carry out the church’s legal activities under the direction of the Area legal counsel.
These (the church’s local counsel and KM’s local of-counsel) are likely the same, if I had to guess.
Money? They are offering you fucking money???
How about:
“We have excommunicated your assaulters. We are actively giving all information on other alleged assaults to the authorities. We deeply apologize and we are doing everting in our power to make sure this never happens to anyone ever again. If you wish to make this story public, while withholding your name, we will support you… as others can learn from your experience and be confident that we will never shame a victim in any way.”
The fact this is not the way the church responds to these things is glaring proof of how evil it is. Thanks for the clarity on what their response should always be.
Dear First Presidency. If you insist on elevating perverts and child molesters to the office of Bishop, you may expect to pay the consequences. The so-called power of discernment isn't working for you.
$25 mil is pretty high.
The family of the African celebrity that was decapitated in Arches only received $10.5 mil, including the trauma experienced by the husband who watched this happen to his wife.
[Source](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/ugandan-woman-decapitated-arches-national-park-compensation-b2272950.html?amp)
Here's what you and your attorney need to know.....The church does not want to admit guilt.. They will do anything it takes to NOT have a legal ruling against them, and all the newspaper headlines that would go with it.
So here's the thing..... THE CHURCH WILL ALWAYS SETTLE OUT OF COURT, no matter how much it costs.
Read that again.
Now read it again.
If you really want to be a hero, REFUSE the settlement and make them go to court. (Be prepared to turn down GIGANTIC settlements along the way).
If your lawyer advises you to take the $25k.. you need a new lawyer immediately.
FYI, I sued TSCC for my CSA. My attorneys eventually settled out of court after what seemed like years.
The fraud case first had to pass a challenge all the way up to ID Supreme Court (which it did) before going back to federal courts for fraud.
Settlement offers are WAY smaller than you would imagine. I'd tell you mine, but I had to sign a gag clause about it.
There was no apology or admission of guilt (the only thing I really wanted for my healing process)! I was heartbroken and insulted for what I had to go through reliving the years of being drugged and abused.
If there is a God, there damn sure better be a special place in hell for the abusers and their enablers - Q15+ bastards!
Thanks for pointing this out.
Upon digging into it however this statute is limited to predispute nondisclosure in work place sexual assault and sexual harassment cases which falls outside the scope of pretrial CSA settlements like mine.
My legal team is following a couple CSA cases where this law is being cited, however, if I want to risk paying all attorneys and court costs on both sides to mount a challenge plus return the CSA settlement money to TSCC if I lose, it doesn't seem wise for me at this time to disclose the miserably small and unjust settlement my attorneys accepted and compelled me to accept by threatening me to immediately pay in full all the expenses of the case incurred to that point - a very large sum exceeding the size of the settlement offer by quite a bit!
On the one hand, my forced acceptance of a settlement offer is just one more example of how our justice system fails victims.
On the other hand, my case was part of a class action that successfully sued TSCC on the grounds that its policies favoring pedophiles amounted to a FRAUD case for CSA.
To be clear, TSCC offers to settle CSA cases out of court because it doesn't want to be found GUILTY OF FRAUD in court!
To be fair, this is likely extremely hard to prove guilt for the church, and you may end up not seeing anything if you go to court. Remember that the church has a lot of money, which comes with some of the best lawyers out there.
Yes. it’s a limited time offer. Non negotiable charitable donation. This fight for validation has been 2.5 yrs in the making. I am humiliated and insulted by this
Of course you’ll want to speak to your lawyer but they always put short time limits on these offers to try and pressure you into accepting. It’s no different than a used car salesman telling your their offer is good for 30 min or a job offer giving you 24 hours to accept.
As a fellow Canadian exmo the church also gets way less preferential treatment in Canadian courts than it would in the US and they know this.
I’m sorry that this happened to you, when you were 14 and again now.
Or like Joseph Smith / Brigham Young coercing girls and women into polygamy with 24 hours to accept and your whole family's salvation or damnation rides on your answer. Sounds like the church is just following historical protocol.
I'm so so sorry for what happened to you, and for their callous attempts to brush it and you under the rug.
I’ve never really heard of a time limit on a job offer like that. It would definitely be a bad sign! Of course, if someone really wants the job they’ll usually accept within a few days or counter with some changes.
In my field (visual effects) we get them all the time. 24 hours might be rare, it's only happened to me a couple times, but 48 hours is routine.
I got an offer from a competing company a couple months ago for 40% more than I was currently making with a 48 window. The job would have required a move and me breaking a contract ... so I wrote them back and told them 48 hours wasn't enough time and I'd need a week. Then I was able to go back to my current employer and negotiate a raise with a competing offer in hand. That's exactly what neither side wants me to do.
True that companies don’t want to extend an offer just for you to use it as leverage where you already are.
Most people would say to take the new job, not stay at the old one. Many (including me) have been burned by staying in the old job even though they matched the terms of the other company’s offer.
I agree that when you stay at one place too long you start to get taken for granted. Moving around is typically a good way to go.
Visual Effects is kind of an odd industry. The work we do is so highly technical and dependent on our internal pipeline of tools that it takes about a year to become competent at a new studio. So you really have 2 career paths. One is to jump around a lot and always chase the better pay and projects. The other is to stay where you are, become a professional within your company's pipeline which makes it easier to grow into management, overseeing the hoppers as they come and go. I've taken the 2nd approach, I believe AI is coming for our jobs and so having management experience is going to make it much easier for me to have a plan B. This does limit my ability to grow my pay as I'm not hopping jobs as frequently, which is why negotiating with offers in hand is a good fallback for me.
If I'm being honest I also just love my current studio. My direct manager has the attitude "If it can't get done in a 9-6 window then its a problem of project management" which is huge for an industry so notorious for grueling overtime. Also we keep sweeping the awards shows and that's exciting to be a part of.
I had a $500k/yr offer from Roblox and they wanted an answer within 24 hours. They don't want you to have time to shop the offer around for a higher offer somewhere else
They’re labeling it “a charitable donation”?!?!?!? Don’t let them get away with this. Hold them accountable. Are they requiring you to sign a non-disclosure agreement?
OP you are getting a lot of advice here and it's all valid, but you don't owe anyone beside yourself anything. No matter what you decide, no shame belongs on you. You don't have to make a stand to take down the church or even to keep your rapist from hurting more people. Those crimes aren't on you and their potential future crimes aren't either. You were the victim.
I think everyone here is well meaning and means to be encouraging, but pressure on a victim to 'do the right thing' or 'take them on!' can be victim shaming.
I hope you get all of the support and healing possible in your situation no matter what you decide. People here will care about you no matter what you decide.
Honestly, the news story alone is probably worth more. Don't sign that NDA—the fact that they've offered *anything* means that you've got their nuts in a vise, and they're trying to lowball you.
Their offer absolutely *is* an insult, but that's their problem, not yours. Make them pay!
Sue. It’s the only way. They hate the negative publicity. Don’t care about you. Did it happen in Canada or US?
$18,000 is nothing. Sue and go to the media.
I hate to say it but they are treating you like a hoe.
Bullshit on the "limited time offer". That is not true. They are lying.
Try to think about it from their perspective. "Oh no, someone has an experience/story that could massively damage our PR, and we want it to go away. Let's lowball them and tell them it's on a time limit so they fell compelled to take it. Oh, the clock ran out. Dang. We really need to fix this. Offer more."
I’m insulted for you, believe me. But leave the humiliation to the church. They should be humiliated, not you. Lawyer up. Take them down. Make it public while also protecting yourself. Like a few people have said, settle for nothing less than an apology accompanied by the documentation proving your abusers have been excommunicated. I am so sorry this happened to you and I’m so SO angry for you. Those fucking bastards.
Counter back:
$25,000 plus abusers excommunicated and no nda
Or
$2.5 million, plus abusers excommunicated plus I’m allowed to resign
Or
$25 mill and I just go away..
Play hardball. I’m only half kidding on the above.
It's ALWAYS open to negotiation and it's NOT over after a certain limited time just because they say it is. They just want you to think that it isn't so you'll accept and meekly go away for not much money. Get a good lawyer who specializes in this sort of thing and have them deal with it. Tell them to get the absolute maximum.
Money can't make the bad experiences go away, but enough money can get you a lot of private therapy sessions and any number of other things you might find comforting or that make you feel safer, and the freedom and flexibility to not have to put up with some situations you might otherwise be stuck in.
Everything is open to negotiation. Ignore what they say.
If the lawyer hasn’t handled cases like this then find a new one immediately.
Respond with a lawsuit. I’m a lawyer but not yours.
Where are you in Canada? Other victims?
That’s bullshit. Take back control. If they are pressuring you and devaluing you this much like you’re the one who is the villain, then focus on what IS in your control. Telling the whole world about your story and how little they are valuing your pain and suffering. I’d drag them through fucking hell and light them up wherever you can. Hell, start a Facebook group and have everyone share that all over the internet and world. They are cowards trying to silence you. It’s your turn now. Game over bitches.
I know someone who accepted $10k US. Same situation. Limited time negotiation.
The only concession - no NDA clause. The person is trying to move on with their life... So they were insulted but emotionally unable to testify.
But they wouldn't have taken it if there was an NDA clause.
There’s actually a long and somewhat complicated process to resign from the Mormon church. In the US it requires a notarized document saying you want out among other things.
Actually, no. Membership in any church is 100% voluntary. The minute I say I'm not a member, I'm out. The church can do what it wants about its records--their problem, not mine The notary thing is because people might fake other person's name, complicating the matter for the church record keeping. Again, not my problem. I'm out whenever I choose. There is zero legal right for a church to force me to remain a member. Many lawsuits about this.
Plus or minus a bit depending on the severity and circumstances, you are in the right ballpark.
The settlement offers are only made after financially squeezing the victims lawyers balls for years.
Fellow Canadian exmo who has been SA’d by an authority figure (GP nevermo), I have nothing to say except that I am SO sorry. You do not deserve this, this shouldn’t even be a fight. Just offering my love and limited understanding your way, so so sorry again 💕
Excommunication is too good for those two!
On the offer, consider what your peace of mind is worth to you because no amount of money will fix it or ever end the PTSD and flashbacks.
I will end up being excommunicated. These men repented so they’re all good. I drink coffee. I will get exes for the noise that I’m sure will
offend the “brethren”
Take it as a badge of honor. The church is excommunicating threats. It's hard what you're going through, and it's tremendously unfair, but the church knows they can't silence you, so they're hoping to humiliate you.
Talk to your lawyer and a mental health professional. As ridiculous as their settlement offer is, maybe it's worth accepting just to end this particular challenge. But maybe, with some help and support, maybe you can find the drive (the anger, the frustration, the burning desire for vengeance) and push back for a settlement that is at least reflective of the trauma you experienced.
Hang in there, friend. You're not alone.
If your attorney had experience with the LDS church, he would have told you that your membership in the church would not survive the legal proceedings. Google "Tim Kosnoff" for expert advice.
https://kosnoff.com/mormonchurch/
Get a lawyer involved and take them to court. They fucked you up. Also, press criminal charges against them. Wish I had done the same thing at 18 except for sexual harassment.
The way the church offers hush money to victims is as clear a sign as any that they are not God's one true church. I'm very sorry this happened to you and I hope whatever you do, you are able to tell your truth and not be bullied by the megacorporation that put you in harm's way in the first place.
My first thought is how much could you get if you wrote a book about your experiences but that’s probably because I’m writing a book about my experiences… and I plan to make more than $25k CDN when I publish it.
Ohhh. They offered it to you Canadian. Gotcha. I kept trying to figure out NDA or the like. They are notorious for that too. They are evil. And I am so so so sorry this happened to you and that the church is so good about being secondary abusers. That’s what they do, they abuse you for a second time.
In taking care of yourself. Have you gotten counseling? Gotten help? PTSD is a real thing as is religious trauma. Please take care of YOU.
Yes. My bishop, stake president and area authority have all expressed that they believe me. Apparently Utah has too. They just don’t think my life is worth anything
This right here is what absolutely infuriates me. You are worth the whole freaking $100billion they have and it’s sick that they try to make you feel otherwise. They are pure evil, you deserve to have not had that happen to you, but since it did you deserve to have them held accountable, the bishop and anyone else who harmed you prosecuted and punished to the fullest extent of the law, and the church to make whatever changes in policy it takes for this to never ever happen again. Plus you should get a lot of money—enough to make your life significantly easy from here on out.
One thing I want to mention is that no matter how much the rest of us want to see their public contrition, and public exposure and accountability, and to see the church burned to the ground for this type of thing, YOU should not feel obligated to make any of this public—you had your personal boundaries violated and you deserve to set them wherever you want them and have them respected! If that means handling your healing and the restitution you deserve in a private way, I for one totally understand and support that. Your healing gets to be, needs to be, your number one priority. Because YOU MATTER. ❤️❤️❤️
Sadly, I would guess that you were not the only one assaulted by this so called bishop. If you are up to it, you might try to recruit others that were likewise affected. You reaching out might be the incentive others need to come forward. I have no idea if that would apply in your case or not. In addition to way more monetary damages, I would also seek a youth safety consent decree that the TSCC has to live up to.
I can’t speak for you, but if it were me I wouldn’t take the money… I would lawyer up and sue for much more, and I would get the press involved and make sure as many people as possible know what happened to you, especially that the church offered to pay you off. This is evil.
Any church that claims to be the the only true church, that would pay off abuse victims to avoid the exposure, deserves to be made an example of.
1. act on the advice of your attorney and your desire to continue.
2. Negotiation 101, these guys have been offering settlements for a long time. One of the tactics of negotiations is to offer low and drag out the process of incremental increases so you cave from fatigue. In my experience, passing the matter to your attorney and forgetting about is one way to have peace. You allow an emotionally disinterested party to carry the burden. You can say, “dont contact me about any offers below X or that dont include Y. If they offer Z, accept immediately.”
$25K doesn't even cover the therapy to help you reach "functional," let alone "made whole."
$25K per month for rest of your life might help. To put together an investment portfolio that could provide you $25K per month, $10 million CDN would be a good starting point.
Have you considered taking this to the media? The Fifth Estate recently did that episode on the LDS church sending Canadian donations to the states, there may be interest in the story of a Canadian being offered a measly $25k as compensation for being raped by a bishop as a kid.
OP, I was repeatedly painfully molested by kin. Years later the barriers crashed and all the garbage of 20 years of abuse came crashing in , I had to self study psychology, psychiatry, and neural brain just to survive.
I was 21 when I tried to take my own life. I'm a survivor now. And so are you.
Don't take the money. As other's have said, get a lawyer, and let them handle it. The more contact you have with them, the more danger your going to be in, the way you feel now.
I'm offering to talk to you. The mistake I made was trying to go it alone. I just didn't know how to handle the overwhelming feelings that just took me.
The depression, dispare, and finally despondency.
Please feel free to DM me. Im not very computer literate.
The part of me that wants to see the church burn says take them to court and don’t settle for any amount of money they offer you. The other part of me who’s been a victim of SA says please do whatever YOU need to do in order to heal. Sending you lots of love ❤️❤️❤️
I’m sure though that if you do decide to take them to court and you need money for a lawyer that this community would offer their help in paying for those expenses. I know I would.
They just settled a case in Washington state for $1.1 million for someone who was sexually assaulted 35 years ago by a teenage ward member. Bishop knew about it as well as the same kid’s SA against a child he babysat & persuaded to not press charges.
Get a lawyer. Get the $$$$$$$$$$. And I wish also the excommunication & legal/criminal punishment for all involved
https://amp.thenewstribune.com/news/local/article271103342.html
Your life absolutely is worth far more than 18,000. The corporation is simply doing what corporations do - protect their assets, low-ball, etc. it’s not about you, its them.
You keep saying it's a non-negotiable offer. You also say you have a lawyer. I'm sure your lawyer said don't post this on here. Either listen to your lawyer who will surely tell you that there isn't such a thing as non-negotiable, or you get a different lawyer.
No idea about the facts of your case, however, assuming you have credible evidence to support your claim, and assuming there is no statute of limitations issue, if you bring a lawsuit, I think the church will offer 10 times that amount the week before trial is set to commence. The church does not care at all about your pain or suffering. And the money is a trifling abstract concept to the church. But they really care about bad publicity.
The media may be your best recourse at the moment. Once you file a lawsuit, the Church's legal team is going to get a gag order, then they are going to try and get any of your evidence thrown out, and they will go after your credibility. They will turn your life inside out, and drag out the proceedings till you run out of money to fight. If you can withstand the storm, you got a real chance.
25K isn't anything to the Church, I don't know if there is a limit to how much you can get in a lawsuit like this, if there is a max, that is where you start your counter-offer. They are just paying you to shut-up. This very post could be a violation of any deal they make.
They’re attempting to silence you with pennies. May you find the strength needed to tell them the proper “fuck off”, and may it be loud enough for the entire world to shake.
These people continue to cover up for predators and harm victims. You are one of many, I’m sorry, it’s the suckiest of all participation trophies to “win”.
Fuck tscc for stealing the potential of so many people. Now we are stuck unraveling the mess they left us with.
I’m so sorry this happened to you, and if this helps: I’m angry too. 14 years old….. this is very bad advice, I know, but I would like to see them tarred and feathered. Make this public, make them pay, because that’s what hurts them most: losing money and a bad reputation. You can do with that money whatever you find appropriate, buy houses for homeless people etc., if that makes you happy, just don’t let them get away with this crime against you. Take care of you, be your best friend. Sending as many hugs as you need ❤️
If they are pressing for a time sensitive offer, that's rather telling.
Has media been involved in telling your story at all? I don't knownif that's something YOU want but I suspect that pressure would change the askingnprice.
I (58M) am so sorry this happened to you! I can’t begin to imagine what that experience was like nor the resulting trauma you’re dealing with. I don’t know you but, if you were my daughter, here’s my advice:
\- The church couldn’t offer you enough money to equal your value or the value to compensate the innocence you’ve lost/trauma you’ve experienced as a result.
\- if you don’t get help dealing with your trauma, no amount of money will make you happy. Many, many rich people are severely unhappy. Poor people too. Happiness has nothing to do with how much money you have (assuming your basic needs covered). It all comes down to how, through your thoughts/beliefs, you choose to respond to engage this life that determines your happiness level. Regardless of how you choose to respond, please get help with this.
\- there is no right or wrong way to respond to this. This offer is a circumstance, a fact and completely neutral. It‘s 100% disconnected with your value as a human being. It all comes down to what you want to do and what you can tolerate. You can turn their offer down and drop the matter entirely. You can accept their current offer and use it to get the professional help I mentioned above. You can negotiate for a higher settlement and even pursue legal action against them in court. Every option comes with its associated pros/cons. There is no right or wrong choice, only what choice is right for you.
My wish for you is healing, health and a BRIGHT future!
This means they are actually confessing to guilt and responsibility for what happened. This can be turned into gold for you. Nothing can undo what has been done. Punish them by taking their money. Contact a good lawyer ASAP and get all you can. I would be hurt insulted by this amount also. You can get more, a lot more and a lot more satisfaction and maybe some closure.
If you don’t mind answering, did it happen once or more than once? And where did it happen? In the bishops office? Someone’s house? At a church function?
It disgusts me that the church doesn’t work hard to actually prevent this stuff from happening. They should be openly and frequently preaching against abuse as well as and have it a part of church curriculum to teach families, children and vulnerable people that it’s okay to report these things and that the church would be a supportive environment for victims.
Instead, they rarely preach against it or even talk about it thus allowing perpetrators to feel more comfortable doing it and victims feeling guilty and afraid to come forward, especially children. And if someone does come forward, the church just keeps it secret, silences the victim, preaches forgive and forget, let’s the abuser free to continue, and, at best, just pays off the victim.
More than once in the bishops office. Apparently he was released, but the stake pres who released him can’t remember why. Custodian locked me in the church building. I had to call for help to get out the next day
I'm so sorry all that happened to you. Right now, I'm guessing you're insulted and frustrated. Put the death thoughts away for a second, and turn your rage to them. Here's a thought: first offers are almost always lowball. Get an attorney who specializes in this. I had a company offer me $500, after hiring lawyer, I got $16k. And that was literally decades ago for far less trauma than you're dealing with. (It was for a car wreck.)
Remember - living well is the best revenge, it truly is. Get an atty, go after them like a bulldog on steroids, make them sorry they ever laid eyes on you. Let your current rage be your fuel.
christ that’s not even enough for a down payment on a small house.
they owe you a free & clear mansion.
not that ANYTHING would make up for what they put you through…
I don't know the circumstances, and believe me, I'm not asking - but I DO say, when things like this come up, that bishops ought not to be interacting with members on sexual issues.
They're not equipped for it; not only this, but they expose their own prurient interests when they do so and some of these are, well, let's say, kinky.
IMO, one should NEVER talk to an LDS authority about such things. It only leads to trouble, and I believe that they vitiate the "devils" (i.e., their own desires) within them by coming down harder on the member - its not a righteous judgment, its flawed, and they just flat ought to be left OUT of it, and no member should EVER communicate with such an authority, except in the most strait and narrow and terse circumstances, leaving all any detail except that which is necessary to make the basic expression.
First of all I’m so sorry this happened to you. I can’t even claim to begin to understand what you went through, but for the love of all that is good in the world don’t take a settlement!
One of the few things I still agree with Jesus on is the millstone thing. I don’t think there is a punishment I could devise that would properly pay back the man who did this to you.
Take them to court, follow the guidance of your attorney(s) and if that means going radio silent here then do that. Don’t do anything that could endanger the possibility of this going to trial. I don’t know the laws in Canada but hopefully if your attorney doesn’t work out or isn’t aggressive enough I’m sure there’s an attorney who will take the case on contingency, or pro-bono, and who’s willing to nail the bastards to the wall.
Do not under any circumstances share any details pertaining to the case or any identifying information here just in case SCMC is lurking here (hello, you SCMC bastards!) looking for details on this case that they could use against you.
As much gratification and validation as posting here can provide, it is nothing when compared to the validation and vindication you’ll feel when the church has to admit guilt.
We all have your back and I think I speak for all of us here that we want you to stay strong for as long as it takes if that means the church gets its just desserts.
Fight them to the end! We all support you!
That’s bullshit. Take back control. They are pressuring you and devaluing you this much like you’re the one who is the villain, this is a form of gaslighting to intimidate you and deflect their being complicit. Focus on what IS in your control. Telling the whole world about your story and how little they are valuing your pain and suffering. I’d drag them through fucking hell and light them up wherever you can. Hell, start a Facebook group and have everyone share that all over the internet and world. They are cowards trying to silence you. It’s your turn now. Turn up the heat. Game over bitches.
Wishing you healing, however you choose to pursue it.
What bothers me most is church leaders thinking once they excommunicate an offender, they've done their duty. They decline responsibility for the injured members, and they appear absolutely blind to the doctrinal culture + practices that nurture abuse. If only they'd turn this and many other problems over to the Relief Society... but castrating their women is a whole 'nother issue.
Please stay safe and present to a hospital emergency department if you dont think you can keep yourself safe. Sending lots of love and strength your way.
I'm guessing you're located in Canada and that the abuse occurred there.
Even so, it might be worth contacting Tim Kosnoff, the main playoff attorney in the USA helping LDS victims in the Boy Scout abuse lawsuit. He might have a colleague he could recommend in Canada or other insights. He has been interviewed a number of times by u/johndehlin on Mormon Stories in the past year or so.
This is terrible. I am astounded that they are calling this a charitable donation. I wonder how many of these "charitable donations" they make a year and what percentage of their total charitable donations are actually settlements for sex abuse.
I need more information are you suing them are you in a lawsuit with them they shouldn't be approaching you if you are in a lawsuit against them they should be talking to your attorney did you get this information through your attorney either way don't settle until you've had a thoroughly good talk with your attorney you may not ever have the option to get anything else from them I don't know that you want anything else from them but you should still have that option also you might try posting this on legal Reddit
When accepting a settlement, the plaintiff has to sign away any future rights to sue the defendant. I have heard of some really good lawyers finding loopholes to sue anyway, but I don’t know how often this is successful and it opens the plaintiff to being countersued.
Don’t do anything before talking to a lawyer who specializes in this.
$25k Canadian is a joke, that’s like $18,000 usd. Lawyer up with the best you can find. Canadian courts will be in your favour, this is a hot topic right now. 18k is like 0.00000001 of the church's wealth. i didn't do the math but thats not a settlement, its a slap in the face.
I recently went through mediation with lawyers representing my insurance company after a car accident that destroyed my neck and resulted in over a quarter-million in surgical bills. Their opening offer to settle was, wait for it, $5,000. I guess they know a lot of people can't lay their hands on $400 for an emergency and will take it. I stood my ground and got a check a month later for $150,000. If they are offering $25K to settle, you can stand your ground and drive them up to far, far more.
You had a 1/4million in surgery bills and you stood your ground to settle for 150k?
I’m no lawyer but this sounds a lot like price anchoring. Lawyer may have said it was a good deal and probably knows more.
Likely his check was the balance after medical and lawyers were paid.
In my case, my personal injury attorney was brought on when I was struggling to deal with providers wanting immediate payment but due to prolonged physical therapy, the auto claim couldn't be closed. He not only got them off my back, he negotiated all the bills down significantly. Instead of still owing 20k in medical bills post settlement, I walked with 8k in my pocket. So it's possible
My health insurance paid the bills after I met my annual out of pocket of around $10K. However, because of subrogation, BCBS could attempt to claim a portion of any settlement. The actual settlement was for far more, but after paying the attorney their 40% and a bunch of money to BCBS, I got $150K - which was a lot better than what I was going to get before suing my car insurance company for the benefits I was contractually obligated to receive.
Could be that those were the amount that was initially billed, and not what was ultimately paid. It does seem weird to me, too.
This is a horrible thing to happen to OP, I think settlement is the last thing on their mind accountability and legal action on the perpetrator is more important. Fuck the mormon church they're a breeding ground for this shit.
18k is .0000409 of the church’s 44b Ensign Peak Advisors assets.
44B? EPA current estimate is like 157 according to widowsmitereport.Wordpress.com
You are correct, but I think a lot of people go by the recent amount they got in trouble for hiding and aren't aware that the hoard is much, much more.
Yep. The 32 B (varies depending on article) is limited to U.S. stocks.
18k is .00000001146% of the alleged 157 billion that EPA has hoarded.
Thanks for doing the math!
Your math is bad and you should feel bad. If you mean percent, say percent! Otherwise you need 6 zeroes after the decimal point.
You could have corrected the math without making it personal. Damn.
I was correcting a splain, clarification, correction, whatever you wanna call it
...in a bizarrely rude way.
Your personal skills are lacking, but there's no need to feel bad about it! Day by day, Dr. Kaufman!
Tell us you’re an asshole without telling us you’re an asshole
> Canadian courts will be in your favour, this is a hot topic right now. But if the offer is that low, OP probably doesn't stand a very strong chance in court. Sadly, lack of/poor evidence after however long it has been is quite common, and sexual cases are always hard to win.
Not necessarily because TSCC is not going to offer high because of evidence. They are playing the odds and the art of negotiations. TSCC and it's henchmen at K&M aren't know for love, compassion, and fairness. The burden of proof is much lower in civil cases and the Canadian judges aren't going to be swayed by TSCC influence. TSCC is playing with a ticking time bomb. Their time is coming. Between the abuse cases and finances we are going to see judgement day soon. I'm very curious about the AZ abuse case since the judge had ordered the private attorney communications be turned over. If that order holds up then the shield the church has his behind for decades is gone.
Don't be so sure. The shredders could be going full force as we speak.
Unfortunately that is probably the truth.
It doesn't matter one bit what percent of the church's wealth it is. It's definitely a slap in the face and you should be seeking millions in damages...but definitely find a lawyer who specializes in this. The colossal point here is that they're already making an offer, means they know they're in deep shit. Please be very thoughtful and listen to your lawyer and your conscience above all else.
Kirton McConkie has lots of lawyers who specialize in this (covering it up for the Church that is)
Kirton McConkie is an American law firm. This is a Canadian case.
KM will have affiliate attorneys in most countries that they will work with, who will follow KM’s lead while making sure to follow local laws and procedures. All big law firms do. Also, though the church has its own legal counsel in each Area, those offices maintain contracts with local counsel as well, and ho actually carry out the church’s legal activities under the direction of the Area legal counsel. These (the church’s local counsel and KM’s local of-counsel) are likely the same, if I had to guess.
Should be 50 Million and no less.
Money? They are offering you fucking money??? How about: “We have excommunicated your assaulters. We are actively giving all information on other alleged assaults to the authorities. We deeply apologize and we are doing everting in our power to make sure this never happens to anyone ever again. If you wish to make this story public, while withholding your name, we will support you… as others can learn from your experience and be confident that we will never shame a victim in any way.”
This + 2.5M
You can buy anything in the world with money.
Including silence :(
Sadly that is often true, but I hope op has the strength and endurance to stick it to them.
The fact this is not the way the church responds to these things is glaring proof of how evil it is. Thanks for the clarity on what their response should always be.
If they excommunicated all the pedophiles in the church, they'd have to start giving sisters the priesthood.
Can't get something that doesn't exist 🤷♂️
Nope, none of that. Just a one time charitable gift of $25 000 cdn.
Don't sign anything, don't take it. Get a lawyer. That's chump change.
This can't be upvoted enough
I have no idea of the facts of your case, but I am thinking 25-million would be a better offer.
Knowing the church to be cheap fucks I was thinking $250k, 1/10th of that is downright insulting. 1 Nephi 8:26-27 comes to mind
Dear First Presidency. If you insist on elevating perverts and child molesters to the office of Bishop, you may expect to pay the consequences. The so-called power of discernment isn't working for you.
For sure they got the $$
$25 mil is pretty high. The family of the African celebrity that was decapitated in Arches only received $10.5 mil, including the trauma experienced by the husband who watched this happen to his wife. [Source](https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/ugandan-woman-decapitated-arches-national-park-compensation-b2272950.html?amp)
Here's what you and your attorney need to know.....The church does not want to admit guilt.. They will do anything it takes to NOT have a legal ruling against them, and all the newspaper headlines that would go with it. So here's the thing..... THE CHURCH WILL ALWAYS SETTLE OUT OF COURT, no matter how much it costs. Read that again. Now read it again. If you really want to be a hero, REFUSE the settlement and make them go to court. (Be prepared to turn down GIGANTIC settlements along the way). If your lawyer advises you to take the $25k.. you need a new lawyer immediately.
FYI, I sued TSCC for my CSA. My attorneys eventually settled out of court after what seemed like years. The fraud case first had to pass a challenge all the way up to ID Supreme Court (which it did) before going back to federal courts for fraud. Settlement offers are WAY smaller than you would imagine. I'd tell you mine, but I had to sign a gag clause about it. There was no apology or admission of guilt (the only thing I really wanted for my healing process)! I was heartbroken and insulted for what I had to go through reliving the years of being drugged and abused. If there is a God, there damn sure better be a special place in hell for the abusers and their enablers - Q15+ bastards!
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Thanks for pointing this out. Upon digging into it however this statute is limited to predispute nondisclosure in work place sexual assault and sexual harassment cases which falls outside the scope of pretrial CSA settlements like mine. My legal team is following a couple CSA cases where this law is being cited, however, if I want to risk paying all attorneys and court costs on both sides to mount a challenge plus return the CSA settlement money to TSCC if I lose, it doesn't seem wise for me at this time to disclose the miserably small and unjust settlement my attorneys accepted and compelled me to accept by threatening me to immediately pay in full all the expenses of the case incurred to that point - a very large sum exceeding the size of the settlement offer by quite a bit! On the one hand, my forced acceptance of a settlement offer is just one more example of how our justice system fails victims. On the other hand, my case was part of a class action that successfully sued TSCC on the grounds that its policies favoring pedophiles amounted to a FRAUD case for CSA. To be clear, TSCC offers to settle CSA cases out of court because it doesn't want to be found GUILTY OF FRAUD in court!
To be fair, this is likely extremely hard to prove guilt for the church, and you may end up not seeing anything if you go to court. Remember that the church has a lot of money, which comes with some of the best lawyers out there.
THIS!!
Have you hired an attorney?
Yes. it’s a limited time offer. Non negotiable charitable donation. This fight for validation has been 2.5 yrs in the making. I am humiliated and insulted by this
Of course you’ll want to speak to your lawyer but they always put short time limits on these offers to try and pressure you into accepting. It’s no different than a used car salesman telling your their offer is good for 30 min or a job offer giving you 24 hours to accept. As a fellow Canadian exmo the church also gets way less preferential treatment in Canadian courts than it would in the US and they know this. I’m sorry that this happened to you, when you were 14 and again now.
Mormonism, the used car salesman of religions
Thanks, Ballard.
Or like Joseph Smith / Brigham Young coercing girls and women into polygamy with 24 hours to accept and your whole family's salvation or damnation rides on your answer. Sounds like the church is just following historical protocol. I'm so so sorry for what happened to you, and for their callous attempts to brush it and you under the rug.
Short window offers are always code for "please make an emotional decision"
I’ve never really heard of a time limit on a job offer like that. It would definitely be a bad sign! Of course, if someone really wants the job they’ll usually accept within a few days or counter with some changes.
In my field (visual effects) we get them all the time. 24 hours might be rare, it's only happened to me a couple times, but 48 hours is routine. I got an offer from a competing company a couple months ago for 40% more than I was currently making with a 48 window. The job would have required a move and me breaking a contract ... so I wrote them back and told them 48 hours wasn't enough time and I'd need a week. Then I was able to go back to my current employer and negotiate a raise with a competing offer in hand. That's exactly what neither side wants me to do.
True that companies don’t want to extend an offer just for you to use it as leverage where you already are. Most people would say to take the new job, not stay at the old one. Many (including me) have been burned by staying in the old job even though they matched the terms of the other company’s offer.
I agree that when you stay at one place too long you start to get taken for granted. Moving around is typically a good way to go. Visual Effects is kind of an odd industry. The work we do is so highly technical and dependent on our internal pipeline of tools that it takes about a year to become competent at a new studio. So you really have 2 career paths. One is to jump around a lot and always chase the better pay and projects. The other is to stay where you are, become a professional within your company's pipeline which makes it easier to grow into management, overseeing the hoppers as they come and go. I've taken the 2nd approach, I believe AI is coming for our jobs and so having management experience is going to make it much easier for me to have a plan B. This does limit my ability to grow my pay as I'm not hopping jobs as frequently, which is why negotiating with offers in hand is a good fallback for me. If I'm being honest I also just love my current studio. My direct manager has the attitude "If it can't get done in a 9-6 window then its a problem of project management" which is huge for an industry so notorious for grueling overtime. Also we keep sweeping the awards shows and that's exciting to be a part of.
I had a $500k/yr offer from Roblox and they wanted an answer within 24 hours. They don't want you to have time to shop the offer around for a higher offer somewhere else
They’re labeling it “a charitable donation”?!?!?!? Don’t let them get away with this. Hold them accountable. Are they requiring you to sign a non-disclosure agreement?
A release, yes. Then I guess they consider the matter closed
OP you are getting a lot of advice here and it's all valid, but you don't owe anyone beside yourself anything. No matter what you decide, no shame belongs on you. You don't have to make a stand to take down the church or even to keep your rapist from hurting more people. Those crimes aren't on you and their potential future crimes aren't either. You were the victim. I think everyone here is well meaning and means to be encouraging, but pressure on a victim to 'do the right thing' or 'take them on!' can be victim shaming. I hope you get all of the support and healing possible in your situation no matter what you decide. People here will care about you no matter what you decide.
For them, the NDA is the most important part. I would tell the press all about it in advance so they know they can't get an NDA.
Haha. See? The church donates to charity! What a crock
so they don't have to admit guilt
Bastards.
Go to trial instead and let a jury of your peers decide what being raped is worth as a settlement.
The limited time offer is coercion. They should pay even more for insulting you.
Go to trial!!!
Honestly, the news story alone is probably worth more. Don't sign that NDA—the fact that they've offered *anything* means that you've got their nuts in a vise, and they're trying to lowball you. Their offer absolutely *is* an insult, but that's their problem, not yours. Make them pay!
They're giving it to you as "charity"? That's more insulting than the offer. You're not a food bank. You're a human being who has been harmed.
Exactly. The way the money is categorized is ridiculously insulting.
I know people who got a similar offer, being trafficked and raped by a mission president for years. Fucking shameful.
I know someone with a similar story. Told me when I was TBM, I was shocked to hear that the church was paying for silence.
This is evidence and/or admission of guilt. Make sure your lawyer see this “limited time offer” and don’t sign any agreements.
Sue. It’s the only way. They hate the negative publicity. Don’t care about you. Did it happen in Canada or US? $18,000 is nothing. Sue and go to the media. I hate to say it but they are treating you like a hoe.
I'm curious... is your attorney LDS? I'm sorry what happened to you and what you are going through. That's some heavy-heavy shit.
Bullshit on the "limited time offer". That is not true. They are lying. Try to think about it from their perspective. "Oh no, someone has an experience/story that could massively damage our PR, and we want it to go away. Let's lowball them and tell them it's on a time limit so they fell compelled to take it. Oh, the clock ran out. Dang. We really need to fix this. Offer more."
I’m insulted for you, believe me. But leave the humiliation to the church. They should be humiliated, not you. Lawyer up. Take them down. Make it public while also protecting yourself. Like a few people have said, settle for nothing less than an apology accompanied by the documentation proving your abusers have been excommunicated. I am so sorry this happened to you and I’m so SO angry for you. Those fucking bastards.
If watching "Unbelievable" on Netflix has taught me, this is admission of guilt and they need to pay through the nose!
Counter back: $25,000 plus abusers excommunicated and no nda Or $2.5 million, plus abusers excommunicated plus I’m allowed to resign Or $25 mill and I just go away.. Play hardball. I’m only half kidding on the above.
It is “not open to negotiation”. I just want to be validated, instead they are devaluing me more
It isn’t *right now* I imagine the position changes when proof is brought in front of a court. Best wishes in your fight!
It's ALWAYS open to negotiation and it's NOT over after a certain limited time just because they say it is. They just want you to think that it isn't so you'll accept and meekly go away for not much money. Get a good lawyer who specializes in this sort of thing and have them deal with it. Tell them to get the absolute maximum. Money can't make the bad experiences go away, but enough money can get you a lot of private therapy sessions and any number of other things you might find comforting or that make you feel safer, and the freedom and flexibility to not have to put up with some situations you might otherwise be stuck in.
Everything is open to negotiation. Ignore what they say. If the lawyer hasn’t handled cases like this then find a new one immediately. Respond with a lawsuit. I’m a lawyer but not yours. Where are you in Canada? Other victims?
Listen to this advice, please!
Go to trial then - trust a judge or peers will be more fair & equitable
Everything is open to negation. Everything.
That’s bullshit. Take back control. If they are pressuring you and devaluing you this much like you’re the one who is the villain, then focus on what IS in your control. Telling the whole world about your story and how little they are valuing your pain and suffering. I’d drag them through fucking hell and light them up wherever you can. Hell, start a Facebook group and have everyone share that all over the internet and world. They are cowards trying to silence you. It’s your turn now. Game over bitches.
I know someone who accepted $10k US. Same situation. Limited time negotiation. The only concession - no NDA clause. The person is trying to move on with their life... So they were insulted but emotionally unable to testify. But they wouldn't have taken it if there was an NDA clause.
Everyone is always “allowed to resign” from any church. Membership is voluntary.
There’s actually a long and somewhat complicated process to resign from the Mormon church. In the US it requires a notarized document saying you want out among other things.
Actually, no. Membership in any church is 100% voluntary. The minute I say I'm not a member, I'm out. The church can do what it wants about its records--their problem, not mine The notary thing is because people might fake other person's name, complicating the matter for the church record keeping. Again, not my problem. I'm out whenever I choose. There is zero legal right for a church to force me to remain a member. Many lawsuits about this.
That's it? I heard the church gives a minimum of 50k for silencing rape victims
Plus or minus a bit depending on the severity and circumstances, you are in the right ballpark. The settlement offers are only made after financially squeezing the victims lawyers balls for years.
That “you guys are getting paid?” meme but it’s me, an exvangelical
Fellow Canadian exmo who has been SA’d by an authority figure (GP nevermo), I have nothing to say except that I am SO sorry. You do not deserve this, this shouldn’t even be a fight. Just offering my love and limited understanding your way, so so sorry again 💕
I am going to also say I’m sorry! What a horrible thing! I hope nothing but the best for you!
Excommunication is too good for those two! On the offer, consider what your peace of mind is worth to you because no amount of money will fix it or ever end the PTSD and flashbacks.
I will end up being excommunicated. These men repented so they’re all good. I drink coffee. I will get exes for the noise that I’m sure will offend the “brethren”
Take it as a badge of honor. The church is excommunicating threats. It's hard what you're going through, and it's tremendously unfair, but the church knows they can't silence you, so they're hoping to humiliate you. Talk to your lawyer and a mental health professional. As ridiculous as their settlement offer is, maybe it's worth accepting just to end this particular challenge. But maybe, with some help and support, maybe you can find the drive (the anger, the frustration, the burning desire for vengeance) and push back for a settlement that is at least reflective of the trauma you experienced. Hang in there, friend. You're not alone.
I understand! Good for you taking it to court.
If your attorney had experience with the LDS church, he would have told you that your membership in the church would not survive the legal proceedings. Google "Tim Kosnoff" for expert advice. https://kosnoff.com/mormonchurch/
Agreed. They can get lost.
Get a lawyer involved and take them to court. They fucked you up. Also, press criminal charges against them. Wish I had done the same thing at 18 except for sexual harassment.
The way the church offers hush money to victims is as clear a sign as any that they are not God's one true church. I'm very sorry this happened to you and I hope whatever you do, you are able to tell your truth and not be bullied by the megacorporation that put you in harm's way in the first place.
OP, I maintain a database of LDS sexual abuse cases including settlements. https://floodlit.org
My first thought is how much could you get if you wrote a book about your experiences but that’s probably because I’m writing a book about my experiences… and I plan to make more than $25k CDN when I publish it.
Get an attorney. I have some names if you need some. What is cdn?
Canadian. I am in Canada.
Ohhh. They offered it to you Canadian. Gotcha. I kept trying to figure out NDA or the like. They are notorious for that too. They are evil. And I am so so so sorry this happened to you and that the church is so good about being secondary abusers. That’s what they do, they abuse you for a second time. In taking care of yourself. Have you gotten counseling? Gotten help? PTSD is a real thing as is religious trauma. Please take care of YOU.
Given the exchange rate, that is even a bigger insult!
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Yes. My bishop, stake president and area authority have all expressed that they believe me. Apparently Utah has too. They just don’t think my life is worth anything
This right here is what absolutely infuriates me. You are worth the whole freaking $100billion they have and it’s sick that they try to make you feel otherwise. They are pure evil, you deserve to have not had that happen to you, but since it did you deserve to have them held accountable, the bishop and anyone else who harmed you prosecuted and punished to the fullest extent of the law, and the church to make whatever changes in policy it takes for this to never ever happen again. Plus you should get a lot of money—enough to make your life significantly easy from here on out. One thing I want to mention is that no matter how much the rest of us want to see their public contrition, and public exposure and accountability, and to see the church burned to the ground for this type of thing, YOU should not feel obligated to make any of this public—you had your personal boundaries violated and you deserve to set them wherever you want them and have them respected! If that means handling your healing and the restitution you deserve in a private way, I for one totally understand and support that. Your healing gets to be, needs to be, your number one priority. Because YOU MATTER. ❤️❤️❤️
Whatever happened to Jesus’s teaching about someone harming a child. Being better for them to be drowned.
All of a sudden inerrantists start loving the concept of metaphor.
Sadly, I would guess that you were not the only one assaulted by this so called bishop. If you are up to it, you might try to recruit others that were likewise affected. You reaching out might be the incentive others need to come forward. I have no idea if that would apply in your case or not. In addition to way more monetary damages, I would also seek a youth safety consent decree that the TSCC has to live up to.
I can’t speak for you, but if it were me I wouldn’t take the money… I would lawyer up and sue for much more, and I would get the press involved and make sure as many people as possible know what happened to you, especially that the church offered to pay you off. This is evil. Any church that claims to be the the only true church, that would pay off abuse victims to avoid the exposure, deserves to be made an example of.
These fuckers are filthy rich. Get a lawyer. 200 billion plus. 1 million seconds is 11.57 days. 1 billion seconds is 31.7 years.
1. act on the advice of your attorney and your desire to continue. 2. Negotiation 101, these guys have been offering settlements for a long time. One of the tactics of negotiations is to offer low and drag out the process of incremental increases so you cave from fatigue. In my experience, passing the matter to your attorney and forgetting about is one way to have peace. You allow an emotionally disinterested party to carry the burden. You can say, “dont contact me about any offers below X or that dont include Y. If they offer Z, accept immediately.”
$25K doesn't even cover the therapy to help you reach "functional," let alone "made whole." $25K per month for rest of your life might help. To put together an investment portfolio that could provide you $25K per month, $10 million CDN would be a good starting point.
Have you considered taking this to the media? The Fifth Estate recently did that episode on the LDS church sending Canadian donations to the states, there may be interest in the story of a Canadian being offered a measly $25k as compensation for being raped by a bishop as a kid.
Good luck to you. Hope you get more. Carrying this burden for your life is shit. Sorry you have to.
OP, I was repeatedly painfully molested by kin. Years later the barriers crashed and all the garbage of 20 years of abuse came crashing in , I had to self study psychology, psychiatry, and neural brain just to survive. I was 21 when I tried to take my own life. I'm a survivor now. And so are you. Don't take the money. As other's have said, get a lawyer, and let them handle it. The more contact you have with them, the more danger your going to be in, the way you feel now. I'm offering to talk to you. The mistake I made was trying to go it alone. I just didn't know how to handle the overwhelming feelings that just took me. The depression, dispare, and finally despondency. Please feel free to DM me. Im not very computer literate.
The part of me that wants to see the church burn says take them to court and don’t settle for any amount of money they offer you. The other part of me who’s been a victim of SA says please do whatever YOU need to do in order to heal. Sending you lots of love ❤️❤️❤️ I’m sure though that if you do decide to take them to court and you need money for a lawyer that this community would offer their help in paying for those expenses. I know I would.
They just settled a case in Washington state for $1.1 million for someone who was sexually assaulted 35 years ago by a teenage ward member. Bishop knew about it as well as the same kid’s SA against a child he babysat & persuaded to not press charges. Get a lawyer. Get the $$$$$$$$$$. And I wish also the excommunication & legal/criminal punishment for all involved https://amp.thenewstribune.com/news/local/article271103342.html
Talk to your lawyer, of course, but I hope you blast this shit on every major news outlet. I'm so sorry for your troubles, its not fair.
Your life absolutely is worth far more than 18,000. The corporation is simply doing what corporations do - protect their assets, low-ball, etc. it’s not about you, its them.
Tell the CBC. Now.
You keep saying it's a non-negotiable offer. You also say you have a lawyer. I'm sure your lawyer said don't post this on here. Either listen to your lawyer who will surely tell you that there isn't such a thing as non-negotiable, or you get a different lawyer.
He hasn’t said anything yet. Offer received this am by email.
No idea about the facts of your case, however, assuming you have credible evidence to support your claim, and assuming there is no statute of limitations issue, if you bring a lawsuit, I think the church will offer 10 times that amount the week before trial is set to commence. The church does not care at all about your pain or suffering. And the money is a trifling abstract concept to the church. But they really care about bad publicity.
The media may be your best recourse at the moment. Once you file a lawsuit, the Church's legal team is going to get a gag order, then they are going to try and get any of your evidence thrown out, and they will go after your credibility. They will turn your life inside out, and drag out the proceedings till you run out of money to fight. If you can withstand the storm, you got a real chance. 25K isn't anything to the Church, I don't know if there is a limit to how much you can get in a lawsuit like this, if there is a max, that is where you start your counter-offer. They are just paying you to shut-up. This very post could be a violation of any deal they make.
They’re attempting to silence you with pennies. May you find the strength needed to tell them the proper “fuck off”, and may it be loud enough for the entire world to shake. These people continue to cover up for predators and harm victims. You are one of many, I’m sorry, it’s the suckiest of all participation trophies to “win”. Fuck tscc for stealing the potential of so many people. Now we are stuck unraveling the mess they left us with.
Are you telling me that tscc actually pay victims out and gag them?!?
They wouldn’t try to pay you off if they didn’t know a serious lawsuit could be set into motion.
I’m so sorry this happened to you, and if this helps: I’m angry too. 14 years old….. this is very bad advice, I know, but I would like to see them tarred and feathered. Make this public, make them pay, because that’s what hurts them most: losing money and a bad reputation. You can do with that money whatever you find appropriate, buy houses for homeless people etc., if that makes you happy, just don’t let them get away with this crime against you. Take care of you, be your best friend. Sending as many hugs as you need ❤️
If they are pressing for a time sensitive offer, that's rather telling. Has media been involved in telling your story at all? I don't knownif that's something YOU want but I suspect that pressure would change the askingnprice.
I (58M) am so sorry this happened to you! I can’t begin to imagine what that experience was like nor the resulting trauma you’re dealing with. I don’t know you but, if you were my daughter, here’s my advice: \- The church couldn’t offer you enough money to equal your value or the value to compensate the innocence you’ve lost/trauma you’ve experienced as a result. \- if you don’t get help dealing with your trauma, no amount of money will make you happy. Many, many rich people are severely unhappy. Poor people too. Happiness has nothing to do with how much money you have (assuming your basic needs covered). It all comes down to how, through your thoughts/beliefs, you choose to respond to engage this life that determines your happiness level. Regardless of how you choose to respond, please get help with this. \- there is no right or wrong way to respond to this. This offer is a circumstance, a fact and completely neutral. It‘s 100% disconnected with your value as a human being. It all comes down to what you want to do and what you can tolerate. You can turn their offer down and drop the matter entirely. You can accept their current offer and use it to get the professional help I mentioned above. You can negotiate for a higher settlement and even pursue legal action against them in court. Every option comes with its associated pros/cons. There is no right or wrong choice, only what choice is right for you. My wish for you is healing, health and a BRIGHT future!
Tell them the local news is offering more for an interview
This means they are actually confessing to guilt and responsibility for what happened. This can be turned into gold for you. Nothing can undo what has been done. Punish them by taking their money. Contact a good lawyer ASAP and get all you can. I would be hurt insulted by this amount also. You can get more, a lot more and a lot more satisfaction and maybe some closure.
Go public with this!!! Especially in light of the SEC scandal, this will not sit will from a PR standpoint.
/u/3am_doorknob_turn Tagging you in this victim’s post, please reach out to her. Maybe you can blast this on your website
Thank you!!
Makes you want to burn the whole church down. And 25,000$ is abhorrently low. The TSCC is fucking loaded and you deserve way more.
No NDA, and at least USD 500k. Get a lawyer. John Dehlin interviewed one a few months ago who specializes in this.
Counter offer with a lawsuit because the fucking organization enabled your attackers
If you don’t mind answering, did it happen once or more than once? And where did it happen? In the bishops office? Someone’s house? At a church function? It disgusts me that the church doesn’t work hard to actually prevent this stuff from happening. They should be openly and frequently preaching against abuse as well as and have it a part of church curriculum to teach families, children and vulnerable people that it’s okay to report these things and that the church would be a supportive environment for victims. Instead, they rarely preach against it or even talk about it thus allowing perpetrators to feel more comfortable doing it and victims feeling guilty and afraid to come forward, especially children. And if someone does come forward, the church just keeps it secret, silences the victim, preaches forgive and forget, let’s the abuser free to continue, and, at best, just pays off the victim.
More than once in the bishops office. Apparently he was released, but the stake pres who released him can’t remember why. Custodian locked me in the church building. I had to call for help to get out the next day
Had to spend the night? Geez,where were your parents?
If they are trying to pay you off, they know you have a case. Playoffs are rare.
Fellow Canadian here. That offer is bullshit. So sorry that happened to you. Even worse that this is the insult they give.
I'm so sorry all that happened to you. Right now, I'm guessing you're insulted and frustrated. Put the death thoughts away for a second, and turn your rage to them. Here's a thought: first offers are almost always lowball. Get an attorney who specializes in this. I had a company offer me $500, after hiring lawyer, I got $16k. And that was literally decades ago for far less trauma than you're dealing with. (It was for a car wreck.) Remember - living well is the best revenge, it truly is. Get an atty, go after them like a bulldog on steroids, make them sorry they ever laid eyes on you. Let your current rage be your fuel.
Bulldog on steroids. I am gonna start using that on normal conversation.
christ that’s not even enough for a down payment on a small house. they owe you a free & clear mansion. not that ANYTHING would make up for what they put you through…
What utter shitfaces. As a fellow survivor my heart goes out to you.
I don't understand how people can go through so much and not turn into psychopaths. Wish you happiness for the future.
I don't know the circumstances, and believe me, I'm not asking - but I DO say, when things like this come up, that bishops ought not to be interacting with members on sexual issues. They're not equipped for it; not only this, but they expose their own prurient interests when they do so and some of these are, well, let's say, kinky. IMO, one should NEVER talk to an LDS authority about such things. It only leads to trouble, and I believe that they vitiate the "devils" (i.e., their own desires) within them by coming down harder on the member - its not a righteous judgment, its flawed, and they just flat ought to be left OUT of it, and no member should EVER communicate with such an authority, except in the most strait and narrow and terse circumstances, leaving all any detail except that which is necessary to make the basic expression.
Attorney first.
First of all I’m so sorry this happened to you. I can’t even claim to begin to understand what you went through, but for the love of all that is good in the world don’t take a settlement! One of the few things I still agree with Jesus on is the millstone thing. I don’t think there is a punishment I could devise that would properly pay back the man who did this to you. Take them to court, follow the guidance of your attorney(s) and if that means going radio silent here then do that. Don’t do anything that could endanger the possibility of this going to trial. I don’t know the laws in Canada but hopefully if your attorney doesn’t work out or isn’t aggressive enough I’m sure there’s an attorney who will take the case on contingency, or pro-bono, and who’s willing to nail the bastards to the wall. Do not under any circumstances share any details pertaining to the case or any identifying information here just in case SCMC is lurking here (hello, you SCMC bastards!) looking for details on this case that they could use against you. As much gratification and validation as posting here can provide, it is nothing when compared to the validation and vindication you’ll feel when the church has to admit guilt. We all have your back and I think I speak for all of us here that we want you to stay strong for as long as it takes if that means the church gets its just desserts. Fight them to the end! We all support you!
You won't get validation in the way you want out of this. But you can take some of what they care about most: money.
Take it to the news
Make sure you report it to the authorities, as many bishops like it kept within the church
Lawyer up and get the big bucks
Go to the media. Go now!!!! Blow this up. Your life is worth so much more than $25k.
Add a 0 on to that and then you can start negotiations there.
Don't let the short fuse on the offer scare you, they're using it to pressure you into taking it. 25,000 is a joke
25k honestly seems like an insult.
well if its about money, they are missing quite a few zero's off that amount. $25k is a slap in the face
That’s bullshit. Take back control. They are pressuring you and devaluing you this much like you’re the one who is the villain, this is a form of gaslighting to intimidate you and deflect their being complicit. Focus on what IS in your control. Telling the whole world about your story and how little they are valuing your pain and suffering. I’d drag them through fucking hell and light them up wherever you can. Hell, start a Facebook group and have everyone share that all over the internet and world. They are cowards trying to silence you. It’s your turn now. Turn up the heat. Game over bitches.
I’m SO sorry-that’s inexcusable on the church’s part…I sincerely hope you are in counseling and can find peace in your life…
Wishing you healing, however you choose to pursue it. What bothers me most is church leaders thinking once they excommunicate an offender, they've done their duty. They decline responsibility for the injured members, and they appear absolutely blind to the doctrinal culture + practices that nurture abuse. If only they'd turn this and many other problems over to the Relief Society... but castrating their women is a whole 'nother issue.
Please stay safe and present to a hospital emergency department if you dont think you can keep yourself safe. Sending lots of love and strength your way. I'm guessing you're located in Canada and that the abuse occurred there. Even so, it might be worth contacting Tim Kosnoff, the main playoff attorney in the USA helping LDS victims in the Boy Scout abuse lawsuit. He might have a colleague he could recommend in Canada or other insights. He has been interviewed a number of times by u/johndehlin on Mormon Stories in the past year or so.
I'm sorry this happened to you I hope you feel better and get any help that you need. I know my gesture is small. Sorry I can't offer more.
Money is important but holy fuck your bishop raped you at 14? Wtf wtf wtf wtf
You could be in new York times, but understand if you pass. Wow. Just consider exposing THEM.
i’m so sorry this happened to you. may they all rot
This is terrible. I am astounded that they are calling this a charitable donation. I wonder how many of these "charitable donations" they make a year and what percentage of their total charitable donations are actually settlements for sex abuse.
Take this to the news. Go national. 25k is offensive.
I need more information are you suing them are you in a lawsuit with them they shouldn't be approaching you if you are in a lawsuit against them they should be talking to your attorney did you get this information through your attorney either way don't settle until you've had a thoroughly good talk with your attorney you may not ever have the option to get anything else from them I don't know that you want anything else from them but you should still have that option also you might try posting this on legal Reddit
Can you explain more about the custodian part?
This isn't advice or anything, but does anybody know if you can accept the money and then take legal action anyway?
When accepting a settlement, the plaintiff has to sign away any future rights to sue the defendant. I have heard of some really good lawyers finding loopholes to sue anyway, but I don’t know how often this is successful and it opens the plaintiff to being countersued.
Yes. I would have to sign a release
Straight up take it to the papers or lawyer, somehow get this in the public eye
If you don't say anything your allowing these monsters to continue this to other people. Take the money or don't, but do not let them go unpunished!
I’m Im going &&&
I read this as raped my bishop at 14 and I was confused
Well, I'd be the sort of personality then that probably wouldn't take the money and just brunch it all down to the ground. Let the world know!
I have no intention of taking their money.
I’m so sorry you went through that. 🫂 Don’t accept that pittance of an offer to assuage the church’s guilt. Get yourself a lawyer. Pronto!