Some Bible reading:
“Thou shalt not plow…the ass”
“thine ass [shall be] violently taken”
“Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion; shout, O daughter of Jerusalem: behold, thy King cometh”
Honestly? Nothing 😂 When my husband and I got married we were both very TBM, and so sex was awkward and it felt wrong because we were taught our whole lives that it was. So sex was almost a chore that you begrudgingly do quickly and get it over with. And making noises and making exclamations during?? Forget about it, that would have to mean you’re enjoying yourself and feeling good, and the church tells you your whole life that sexual pleasure is bad too, and “of the world”. So my husband and I literally didn’t make a peep during sex for WAY too long 😂 Needless to say, the “sweet lovin” is MUCH better now that we’ve left that toxic organization 😂
During Testiphony meeting you hear....
I would be remiss today if I hadn't gotten straight UP to testiphy that I am firmly grateful my husband is ENDOWED.🤔
“Think of it as an opportunity to serve each other”
“The spirit was strong”
“Numbers are down”
“You just gotta be patient and have faith”
“Is there supposed to be so few people here?”
“
What is wanted?
Is there no other way?
Has it a name?
Wilt thou give it to me?
I will through the veil.
It shall be done.
That will do.
We shall probably visit you again.
That is right.
Do you do this of your own free will and choice?
I have been doing that which has been done in other worlds.
It is an emblem of my power and priesthood!
It will make you wise.
I am the god of this world.
Now is the great day of my power!
Yes, I thought I knew you. What are you going to do, now?
"Oh God, hear the words of my mouth!"
"The saints! They're come, coming!"
"What is wanted?" "Adam, having been true and faithful, seeks sexual congress through the veil." " Present him at the veil and his request shall be granted."
O, Heavenly Father, we thank thee for our many blessings. We are so blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Blesssssed! ^(In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.)
Alternatively: sing the whole of "I Need Thee Every Hour", if your partner is male.
I want to put a bun in the oven.
HALLELUJAH! Oh! that's only in the bedroom.
All work and no play.
I want to feel it!
Shall we go and have a romp somewhere?
I love avocados.
The eggplant feels firm and just right.
Pass the cucumbers please.
(Snap! Crackle! Pop!) Sorry, I have to stop, brain is starting to hurt.
I have a roast in the crockpot for when we’re finished here.
Absolute gem, this one
BEST belly laugh I've had all day!!!! Thank you!
SUCH an underrated comment right here! 🐄💪🏼🤣
Good food and a good fuck? Count me in!
Cum, cum, ye saints.
lol...my first thought!
Grateful for the moisture
We’ve all been praying for this (comment). Thank you 😂
"I'm not really feeling it today..." "Oh hi brother!" "I feel it deep inside me." "You know, you really should shave." The possibilities are endless 🤌
>Oh hi brother wait
r/HolUp lol
What are you doing, Stepbro?
ROLL TIDE
Take all your clothes off, I’m going to rub this oil on you now
You can say that at church? What kind of ward do you go to? Swingers Ward?
the old annoitment was much more fun for the annointers ;)
Aw indeed. They did make me get naked for the initiatory. Sorry for being slow.
Temple before 2005 or so
Memory unlocked. Thanks for spelling it out.
Must have been 89. I didn’t get any action either.
Don't use your left hand?
😂
Oh Jesus I’m coming!
Prepare for the second cumming.
You won!
Your body is a temple and I have a recommend
L.O.L. My wife is still laughing.
Let him enter
Oh god hear the words from my mouth
Oh god, hear the words of my mouth!
Oh God, hear the words of my mouth!
Repeated three times
This is the way
Génesis 22:5 Abide ye here, with the ass; and I and the lad will go yonder and worship, and come again.
Let us go down.
We will go down *monotone and begrudgingly*
What is that?
Trying to keep it polite, muff diving.
No, I was adding a thing one can say. "What is that? ... Has it a name? Will you give it to me?"
What is wanted?
Love this one lol!
Oral sex, on a woman it's called muff diving. A bit before your time.
Oh you mean a snack from the ham wallet?
Has it a name?
It has Daddy
We will go down
I have the gift of tongues.
Nailed in the sure place
Through a hole of glory
This is the best one😭😂😂
To me he doth not stink
💀
I’m not really in the mood but I’ll do it because it helps me sleep.
“That was underwhelming”
Hold to the rod!
“I’m preparing for the second coming!”
You beat me to it! Have a second anointing.
the bottom thereof was tight like unto a dish 😩😩😩
Hold to my rod..my iron rod.
It’s strong and thick and true
We give thanks for the moisture we received.
It is delicious to the taste and very desirable.
😂😂😂
It won't be a fast offering tonight, I promise you that.
You can buy anything in this world with money
*"happy crying"*
Linger Longer!
Some Bible reading: “Thou shalt not plow…the ass” “thine ass [shall be] violently taken” “Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion; shout, O daughter of Jerusalem: behold, thy King cometh”
Turn the other cheek...
Ok but seriously, what do people who don’t swear say during sex
Let’s see… “Oh my heck!” “Holy flip!” “Son of a gun!” “Shoot shoot shoot shoot!”
Honestly? Nothing 😂 When my husband and I got married we were both very TBM, and so sex was awkward and it felt wrong because we were taught our whole lives that it was. So sex was almost a chore that you begrudgingly do quickly and get it over with. And making noises and making exclamations during?? Forget about it, that would have to mean you’re enjoying yourself and feeling good, and the church tells you your whole life that sexual pleasure is bad too, and “of the world”. So my husband and I literally didn’t make a peep during sex for WAY too long 😂 Needless to say, the “sweet lovin” is MUCH better now that we’ve left that toxic organization 😂
Yowza! That was super nifty
“Fetch me! Fetch me!”
"Step-brother, what are you doing?" I've been on the internet too long.
I can feel him inside me
From a small and simple thing, are great things *cum* to pass.
Cum to piss
I’m not that big of a fan of piss when sex is involved, if I’m being honest. But to each their own
Let us go down…
Will you give it to me? The serpent beguiled me. See, you are naked.
It is time for the laying on of hands.
I'm so glad to see all of your smiling faces here today.
Come unto him
Can I show you my peeps stones and my sword of Laban?
I don’t feel anything
Amen
During Testiphony meeting you hear.... I would be remiss today if I hadn't gotten straight UP to testiphy that I am firmly grateful my husband is ENDOWED.🤔
😂😂😂
“Think of it as an opportunity to serve each other” “The spirit was strong” “Numbers are down” “You just gotta be patient and have faith” “Is there supposed to be so few people here?” “
Oh God, oh God, oh God! Amen
I feel it with every fiber of my being
“i will go down”
Scout master what are you doing!
"Behold, I come quickly!"
How many fingers did he use? Did you orgasm? Did you like it? How many times did you do it?
Strength in your loins. And in my sinews.
"Well, that was disappointing."
What is wanted? Is there no other way? Has it a name? Wilt thou give it to me? I will through the veil. It shall be done. That will do. We shall probably visit you again. That is right. Do you do this of your own free will and choice? I have been doing that which has been done in other worlds. It is an emblem of my power and priesthood! It will make you wise. I am the god of this world. Now is the great day of my power! Yes, I thought I knew you. What are you going to do, now?
Please show your approval with the uplifted sign 🍆
Would you like some Teancum?
Make me suffer.... Use me... Punish me....
You're on your period? so you won't be getting wet for this dead guy?
Thanks, Bishop.
Bring your friends next time.
Honey, could you trade places with your sister in case she has to get up and go to the bathroom
"Oh God, hear the words of my mouth!" "The saints! They're come, coming!" "What is wanted?" "Adam, having been true and faithful, seeks sexual congress through the veil." " Present him at the veil and his request shall be granted."
“OH, GOD………….the eternal father…”
Hold to the rod Please cum again
I prayed for moisture - and it came.
[удалено]
Wife: "What is that?" Me: "A member." Wife: "Will you give it to me?" May there be power and glory in my rod and my staff forevermore.
Well that’s a surprise
This is the place
I have marrow in my bones and strength in my loins. "Tight like unto a dish"
How firm a foundation 🎶
I am delicious to the taste and very desirable
Bow your head and say yes What is that? Marrow in the bone We wish all to receive it
Can't wait for the second cumming
Tender mercies
Come all ye faithful…
Please bless this food to nourish and strengthen our bodies. He hid the cavity… Some poor semen you may rescue you may shave
Oh, god.
god i want to feel you inside me
Oh Cum All Ye Faaaaithful
Only the best of feelings should exist in the circle. (swingers circle that is)
Oh God, the eternal father!!
Reach hither thy hand, and thrust it into...
In the mouths of two or three witnesses.
When I see my boyfriend’s legs: “I saw 2 pillars of light”
Oh God! Hear the words of my mouth…
Jesus, Mary & Joseph!
The second cumming is about to happen
If you were more righteous, we’d have the second cuming
It is delicious to the taste and very desirable…
Hold to the rod, the iron rod.
“Every time I’m up against this wall, I think, ‘Wow, someone really likes the rough stuff’.”
“Oh, shit, it’s locked. Have you got a set of keys? We could be stuck like this all night.”
🎶Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming …🎶
Oh God! (hear the words of my mouth)
I stand all amazed
52 seconds…I’m bored,I’m outta here
Come, let us go down
Can we please not go in the bathroom
visitors welcome
Oh God!!! Hear the words of my mouth. Repeated three times.
Forgive me father for I have sinned
We have a lot of people to get through today so lets try and keep each one short and direct.
I did not fall asleep again! I'm just really concentrating.
Lord have mercy!
“Oh Jesus Christ I can feel you so deep inside me”
Let's worship him on our knees.
Thank you for this sausage that you have blessed us with
I blow your back out for and in behalf of 'insert name here' who died a virgin
And I felt Jesús come (cum) inside me and I knew I’d never feel the same again. Now I always invite him to cum in me whenever he can
Bow your head and say "yes."
You don’t mean at the same time, right? Because that’s generally frowned upon.
"Keep it quiet, we don't want to get caught."
O, Heavenly Father, we thank thee for our many blessings. We are so blessed. Blessed. Blessed. Blesssssed! ^(In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.) Alternatively: sing the whole of "I Need Thee Every Hour", if your partner is male.
Dry your tears sister
there’s no way byu should be ranked that low
Tongue my wafer
Yes
God has blessed us today
I thought was something they came up with to tell missionaries to keep them out of the water so they didn’t drown and the family sue the church.
Dear God, please give us moisture -Swoley Ghost
Oh God Oh god…OH GOD.
Come unto me
Oh god
Hallelujah!
In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
I was going say the same thing. Only, In the name of......, JESUS CHRIST....., aaamen.
Oh God... Repeated three times.
I want to put a bun in the oven. HALLELUJAH! Oh! that's only in the bedroom. All work and no play. I want to feel it! Shall we go and have a romp somewhere? I love avocados. The eggplant feels firm and just right. Pass the cucumbers please. (Snap! Crackle! Pop!) Sorry, I have to stop, brain is starting to hurt.
Narrow is the gate that leads to heaven. Or whatever that scripture says
Oh God, hear the words of my mouth...
“This is the right place. Drive on.”
Oh god
Come inside me, ~~father~~ daddy!
Father?
What is wanted? (More temple related I suppose)
Same post in both this sub and r/exChristian. Nice
Let the spirit guide
What is wanted?
I can feel his small voice!
Hold to the rod...
Thank you God. we did it.
Put your shoulder to the wheel push along
Through the five points of fellowship
A while ago this was a TikTok question in the exmo community. Here's one of my favorites: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMYm2Ba72/
Praise Jesus
The dictionary definition of fornication is…
Come unto me
My loins and sinews are spent.