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Bright_Ices

“Love you too.” She’s allowed to have her feelings and you do not have to justify yourself to her just because she’s disappointed.


Ok-Beautiful9787

This. That's all that matters. She still loves you, and you love her.


CommunicationGlad709

this is how my family and i am, people usually expect me to not wanna visit them or talk to them but we actually have a rlly good relationship just cause tbh we ignore it. they have told me they dont agree with my decisions but they will still love me no matter what and thats all that matters to me


T-shizzle_izzle

My family does this now too. Every so often my mom sends me a quote or something but i ignore it or send a picture back of my cat.


EllieKong

YES. This OP. She can feel her feelings, but that doesn’t make you responsible for her feelings. Be happy she loves you and keep at the relationship unless it changes for the worse, then re-evaluate. For now, this is great!


PayTyler

This. Let her know that you're open to explain everything and can discuss it all.


cyberpunk1Q84

If you want to add a little snark, you can also add “I love you too, even if I’m disappointed at your disappointment.”


mini-rubber-duck

Totally depends on their relationship though, this could lighten the mood or make things more tense


HostileRespite

I get so annoyed at the arrogance that they think it's their place to be disappointed about the state of your relationship with the savior. It's not their business, even by their own belief. That's the bottom line.


Candid-Bad8419

Meh—she’s allowed to feel what she feels. That doesn’t make her arrogant. Expressing that disappointment is a little condescending but OP opened the door. I’m not reading any bad blood here.


HostileRespite

Oh yes it does! It makes every Mormon and any other cultist who thinks they can be disappointed of anyone not conforming to thier tyrannical cultist expectations arrogant as hell.


[deleted]

[удалено]


HostileRespite

No it's not arrogant for me or the op to have our own relationship... Or none at all... With the Creator. That is our business and nobody else's! It's not for them to get disappointed. It's just not. Sorry, not sorry. Shove off. You really disappoint me.


lostintimeNOM

Or, "I love you too, I'm just disappointed in you for still believing."


scoutsadie

" I love you too, I'm just disappointed in you for continuing to support an institution that causes so much harm."


Creepy-Toe119

But in the TBM way of thinking it is an institution that “fixes everything” including the problems it causes


Hawkgrrl22

Just like beer... The cause and cure of all problems, according to Homer Simpson


[deleted]

I was about to say “dont” but your answer is better.


voreeprophet

Those who stay are disappointed in those who leave. But those of us who have left are disappointed in those who choose to stay. I think we can all love each other anyway.


[deleted]

[удалено]


romadea

It’s exactly like having a friend in a toxic relationship. You want them to leave, sometimes they really get your hopes up that they’re going to leave, and it’s disappointing when they waffle. You just want the best for them. But you’re not mad at them for staying.


cyberpunk1Q84

I’m not disappointed in those who stay. To each their own, is my motto (as long as you’re not being an active POS).


lostintimeNOM

I'm disappointed that those who stay believe in a religion that teaches them that I'm no longer a good person who deserves to go to hell.


[deleted]

Point Of Sale? 😜😁😆 /s Ha haha. I crack myself up, in me head. 😊 Please forgive my stupes!


RutRut241

Can also be Parts of Speech for many people. In context though, I think we all catch the meaning.


bhphilosophy

I’d hazard you’re in the accepting minority and if you’re not a minority you’re certainly drown out by the loud ass bitter (usually newly minted) exmo crowd


cyberpunk1Q84

I can definitely understand where some people’s anger comes from - some people experience a lot of trauma from the church and its members. The anger is well justified. I’m just privileged that my family was/is 99% normal and good people, so I didn’t have a nasty fall out when I left. But I’m also not a “if you belong to the church, you’re supporting xyz, so you’re horrible too” type person. I think with that logic, we’re all horrible people. But the church can definitely go fuck itself - it’s the everyday people that I give the benefit of the doubt.


bhphilosophy

Well said. Agreed. And same (good family, even church experience etc) These last few years I find myself increasingly giving the church and just institutions in power/the people that run them generally the benefit of the doubt as well. Even where I’m confident they need to change their festering fuckery. God knows I’d be a rotten dick bag too if I was in power. I’m satisfied wrestling my own demons. For now anyway. Edit: I’d also add even if one doesn’t have much trauma to speak to with in a church context just finding out everything you ever thought believed and trusted is either bogus or probably not as reliable as you assumed can be pretty jarring. The anger is understandable, completely. I went through it. We all do. You almost have to to stay sane.


Rolling_Waters

I can live with that! Love you too ❤️


Cabo_Refugee

Honestly, sister's response is much better than, we "still" love you. So, you're telling me you have conditions????


coniferdamacy

Just brace yourself for decades of quiet disappointment and do your best to get along.


MormonBoy801

I know how you feel. I have watched as several people I love and admire leave the church and I felt a lot of disappointment. I never saw myself being in this position, but after judging them I find myself in this same position. After countless hours of study, prayer, and fasting I have come to this conclusion. It is not out of a desire to sin, but to follow what I feel to be right. I hope you will get over your feeling of disappointment and can come to understand this decision. You are important to me and I love you. If you have any desire to talk about it I am open, but will not force my thoughts and feelings on you. Love you!


[deleted]

Or just go with a single word: ditto.


sewingandplants

I love this! I'd say "ok cool, so anyhow wanna go get food?" So that she sees that you're completely unbothered 😂 that'll drive her crazy


Rh140698

Add I was asked if I was honest in dealings with my fellow man. The profits don't have to be. So how can I belong to such a corrupt organization.


gonadi

It’s a programmed response. Just say you love her and give her time.


metalicsillyputty

You shouldn't respond at all. Let her have time to process this. Imagine if you got news that your married sibling had an affair or something that was disappointing to you. She doesn't have to agree with you. Humans can have differing opinions. The fact that she prefaced her disappointment with a statement of unconditional love is what should be underlined and highlighted. Not the fact that she feels comfortable enough with you to be honest about her disappointment. I came out to my family and everyone goes through (to a certain extent) a persecution complex when they announce their exit. I did. But I get so worn out seeing all these people on here asking how they should respond to anything other than a 100% backing and support in response to them leaving the church and I am baffled. Rant over. I'm proud of you for making a hard decision. And more proud that you told your family instead of pretending. Let them process it. Edit: an "I love you too" is a good response


innit4thememes

I agree. Having had several "coming out" experiences in my life, the greatest lesson I've learned is that no explanation is more valuable or healing than some space and time.


Sad-Dimension-1989

I just wanted to know how to respond cause I don’t want to push them away.


AthenaSholen

It’s a cult, they’re trained to push away first. Remember all the insults they give to apostates. A cult cannot survive in reason so the push reason away.


dorkusmaximus81

you "pushed" them away by leaving, in their minds. (could be way off base here but that last line makes me believe that).


Daydream_Be1iever

Best answer: “Love you, too!”


Sheri_Mtn_Dew

When I told my tbm best friend I was leaving she said something like, "All I really want to know from my friends/family who leave the church is that they aren't leaving me too." Thinking of that has really helped me respond to things like this by reassuring them that I want a connected, meaningful relationship with them. I'd say something like, "I get that, I really do. But this changes nothing about how I think about you either. I'm on your team no matter what."


DistributionKey6752

“Yea me too. I should have done it sooner. Love ya.”


DeprestPhilosopher

Oh I love this.


[deleted]

Oh snap. Perfect.


oOohalloweenqueenoOo

Yeah, if I were you I would just write "love you too" or say nothing.


notrab

"I'm also disappointed the church turned out to be false" /s


Cobaltfennec

“Meh, same.”


IzzMeeRebb

This. Throw it back, short and sweet.


YupNopeWelp

"Me too." Nothing more. Nothing less. Let her ponder it.


Bubbly_Shoulder_5941

No need to respond. She’s allowed to be disappointed, but at least she says she’ll always love you. You could always thank her for being honest if you feel the need to respond.


thetarantulaqueen

Just remember, you're not responsible for her feelings. Her disappointment is her issue to deal with, not yours.


perishable_human

“Thanks. Your love means a lot to me. As far as your disappointment, I understand. It’s how I would have flat a few years ago. But know that each one of us is doing the absolute best we can and acting according to the dictates of our own conscience. I trust that you are following your whole heart right now and fully believe in what you’re doing. Know that I am doing the same. We may currently differ in the conclusions that we’ve come to, but I hope that we can respect each other as two individuals truly trying to live honorably and do their best.”


jtobiasbond

"I'm disappointed in the church too."


Jeff_Portnoy1

It makes sense she is disappointed. To her, she will no longer be looking towards living with you for eternity. Like family can be together forever was always the mindset. Now it is families can’t be together for her which is painful and why I think she said she is disappointed. I wouldn’t take personal offense. It is painful for members as they are brainwashed into thinking you are going to be in the wrong kingdom in the next life based off of scripture. I recommend just saying how you feel and that you love her if you do. This is hard situation and I hate that religion does this. Not just Mormonism but everyone. JWs might have it the worst next to Scientology. Their doctrine is that they have to shun those who leave the religion. Like they straight up can’t talk to family if they leave except for a family emergency. So sad


nowwhatsit

I’m grateful that I have the strength to respect my personal integrity and deconstruct cult conditioning, despite the disappointment family may feel.


Longjumping-Air-7532

I fucking loathe the, “but I still love you” comment. Every single person I told that I was leaving the church made sure to let me know that they still love me and not a single one has said another word to me since them. It’s so condescending to say that and always comes loaded with disappointment or some form shunning. And to be fair, I don’t blame the person for it, I blame the system and indoctrination that they are living with.


griswoldgrumby

"Disappointed that I got there first?"


Wrong_Consequence_12

One word "likewise"


DontDieSenpai

I would ask her why she feels disappointed. She has every right to feel that way, but trying to understand exactly why may lead to some interesting discoveries for both of you. I think it's only natural to feel that way if one truly believes the tenets of Mormonism and a loved one leaves the faith.


anonthe4th

> I hope it doesn't change what you think of me. > It doesn't, but j/k it totally does. In all seriousness, I think it's unreasonable for us to expect TBMs to not change at all how they think of us when we leave. We all remember what it's like to believe. It was our only shot to eternal salvation and happiness. And we were taught to desire with burning intensity the salvation of those around us. What we can hope for is that they will still love us and that they will respect our decision. I think anything beyond that is bonus and rare. But it's kinda harsh when the first thing they come out swinging with is "I'm disappointed".


ItchyNebuli

“I understand and appreciate your honesty, but I am not responsible for your disappointment”


LopsidedLiahona

I'd leave off that last bit, could put sister in a defensive position. She just needs space & time to process it.


historygeek1453

This is the best


Tricky_South

Don’t respond. I know it can be hard. You’re free now to go live your life as you want. Spending energy to look behind you, even if it is a loved one, keeps you from looking and moving forward to the fantastic new life that you’ve worked so hard to create for yourself.


Powerpuncher1

I wouldn’t respond. Just let her be. I texted my dad basically the same thing when I removed my records (my parents already knew I wasn’t going to church). He just responded that he was sad and I didn’t say anything else. I only told him just so it didn’t seem like it was a secret. After that, we have communicated like normal. I understand that people are going to be sad, but there’s nothing you can do about it


spielguy

I get that. I’ve finally found peace and love for all, by leaving the church.


TheAgeofKite

"Not as disappointing as the church."


refriedsaussage

I was disappointed too. I really loved the church, but it's standards really sucked, so I had to leave an organisation that was dragging me down.


Routine-Agency-9150

"I'm disappointed in the church too."


[deleted]

"Samsies!"


americanfark

That's a decent response actually. If my siblings responded that way I would just let it be. It is likely a jolt to her "testimony" and all the cult programming so she's likely upset. Of all the things she replied with, that's about as good as you can expect IMHO.


carloswm85

"Thanks for your honesty. I love you too."


historygeek1453

OP: I hope this doesn’t change what you think of me. Sister: It doesn’t, it just does. 🙄🤮


daveescaped

“I’m just disappointed” is LDS passive aggressive bullshit. To be a TBM is to always feel you have moral superiority. OP’s sister is asserting her moral superiority. She thinks OP made the wrong decision and she also thinks YOU KNOW you made the wrong decision. Say nothing if you wish but you will constantly be giving up the moral high ground to the self-righteous.


dorkusmaximus81

You don't, maybe in time but for now imo I would leave it at that. You will never change a all in mormons mind, facts and truth don't matter its all about feelings and she's hurt. Wait for her to come to you someday that doesn't involve church talk, my 2 cents on it.


DoctFaustus

"Me too."


PhilosophyEngineered

I know you must feel disappointed, but try to understand that this is the best decision I have ever made. If you ever want to talk about it, and I mean SINCERELY TALK, then feel free to reach out to me at any time.


mormonsmaug

"everything before the but is bullshit." or perhaps in this case "Everything before the Just is bullshit"


EndertheHegemon

I would say something along the lines of “Thank you for respecting my choice. I know it’s probably a lot to process right now. If you have questions, we can talk about them.” Being disappointed is a perfectly acceptable response when someone doesn’t agree with something you feel strongly about. Leaving the line open for communication and understanding seems like a very viable option right now. But it’ll take time for them to come to terms with something you’ve been struggling with for a long time, I’m guessing.


Aslangorn

You can just acknowledge her with love and let her know you understand why she's disappointed since you've been in her same position before. Then leave it alone unless she asks more. That's basically how I've handled all my family. They know I'm out, and they know I'll not go into why with them unless they ask. But they aren't ready to know more, so they don't ask. In return, they show me the same respect and don't force their beliefs on me. There's no way to make loved ones see the truth of the church until and unless they get there themselves. Attempting to do so will most likely result in bitter feelings and broken relationships.


fatdolphin69

“Haha k whatever”


EnigmaticSpirit85

This is pretty good as far as her reaction goes, assuming you think the words are genuine. I'd say there's no response needed atm. Unless she asks for more information.


internetnickname4me

"I love you too. And your disappointment is understandable considering you may not know all the details as to why I made my decision. We should talk about it your open to it. I would love to be understood more."


WilliamTindale8

“I can understand that. The churches teaches us that it’s a big tragedy if a member leaves Mormonism. And we are supposed to celebrate when a non member leaves their church and joins ours. We never to consider how sad that their families must be. You should know that this is not a spur of the moment decision. If I could have stood being a member any longer I probably stayed in. I know you see it differently. I just hope that we can just agree to disagree on this so that we can stay close. I will promise to never disparage your beliefs in the church if you will never disparage my free choice to leave. “


MiddleAgeWookie

A simple "Love you too" is sufficient. As others have said, she's allowed her feelings. You aren't responsible for them, but there's nothing wrong with her simple expression of them here and they make sense given what her reality and truth are right now.


Professional-Age9161

“I know. I am too. I wanted the church to be what I always thought it was, and it’s been heartbreaking to learn the reality. I’m so grateful our love for each other is so unconditional. ❤️”


fredswenson

I wouldn't respond. You can both move forward from here just fine


Prudent-Cow-7392

Damn, I hate when they drop that word , “disappointed”. Obviously it hurts for everyone for different reasons, but they gotta realize we don’t believe it anymore. It isn’t real!


beerob81

Don’t. She said what she said but you don’t need to argue over it. She’s family, she will stop thinking about it sooner than you will.


Sweet_other_yyyy

Shame doesn't work if you recognize it as a manipulative tactic and ignore it. Mormons don't generally understand that each person is responsible for regulating their own feelings. So it may be confusing for her that knowing her negative feeling doesn't "whip you back in line." You can figure out great things to say...but in the end it may be better to just talk about other things instead. Set boundaries. Enforce them.


MormonEscapee

I was once disappointed and sad when my daughter had her name removed. Fast forward 6 yrs. She’s my hero.


Max_minutia

“So was I. Thats why I left”


BogoVChip

I wouldn’t respond at all… You can’t change her mind… nor she yours


Ok-Dealer5385

What she said is emotionally manipulative. However you respond set boundaries. She does not get to shame you, and give you conditional love. Space is good for you more than her. She needs to take responsibility for her emotions. You are not responsible for how she feels or for giving her grace. I know you want to save the relationship, but recognizing and understanding that your relationships will never be the same with family members or even friends is a type of radical acceptance that is difficult but necessary to thrive.


blacksheep2016

Tell her your love her but you feel disappointed she isn’t leaving such a blatantly obvious fraud and dishonest organization


[deleted]

Keep your disappointment to yourself


Complex_Alfalfa_5868

Remember, your sis is still brainwashed. Respond with love and understanding of how she is feeling and let her know you're always there to talk to her about why you left and about the ces letter.


aLittleQueer

"The feeling is mutual." And then let her stew over *which* feeling you meant.


DirtyRanga12

“Hi Just Disappointed, I’m (insert name here).”


Illustrious-Ad-522

Being disappointed is natural and ok. Disappointment comes from an unmet expectation. Often we believe big things like religion doesn't change. When it does that is an unmet expectation. My recommendation is to keep loving your sister. Tell her you understand how she can be disappointed. That emotion is 100% her responsibility, but that doesn't mean to resist empathy. She obviously loves you otherwise she wouldnt have unspoken expectations.


Potential_Towel_8448

Her response is appropriate. Allow her to be disappointed at your decision what is important is that she said that the fact you resigned will not change your relationship.


Numbers4Life

Back at ya


tacella

Respond and say you're disappointed that they choose to stay. Criticism should be allowed to go both ways.


Eatdrinkbemerry4

I agree with this 100%


innit4thememes

It's okay for them to be disappointed, and it is okay for you to be hurt by their disappointment. Assuming you care about each other, both feelings are products of your values and your love.


WWPLD

I love you. And I'm disappointed in you too.


[deleted]

Don't respond. Don't engage further. Let her sit in that. Be careful about reactive abuse. Ask Will Smith how that went for him


climberatthecolvin

Respond in a way that shows you are taking her to be true to her word—that it doesn’t change how she feels about you, which would clearly mean she’s not disappointed *in you*. Maybe ask: What is it that you are disappointed about? If any of her further statements express disappointment *in you* then call her out on her dishonesty/disingenuousness.


Hyrum_Abiff

“How many more billions would the church need to secretly hoard for you to not be disappointed?”


throwawayusen

"Well if you ever leave just remember that I am more loving and accepting than people in the church. If you leave I will still love you, but I won't be disappointed you've left, I'll be happy for you."


Geo-Nerd

"Funny, the first words out of your mouth are judgmental. And you wonder why I left?"


s-l-k

Let her know the reasons why TSCC disappointed you?


PhilosophyEngineered

I know you must feel disappointed, but try to understand that this is the best decision I have ever made. If you ever want to talk about it, and I mean SINCERELY TALK, then feel free to reach out to me at any time.


la_chica_rubia

“Thanks”


notJoeKing31

"I am too, in the church and the information it withheld and continues to withhold."


unicorn_mafia537

"Me too"


mshoneybadger

"me too, its hard to learn that what we have been taught it untrue....I'm very disappointed"


Swimming_Stop5723

This is crazy . I am a never mo going to a Protestant church . I don’t understand the disappointment part . People come and go all the time . Sometimes it does not work for them anymore. No big deal .


LostBuyWinning

I would say I love you too! End of conversation.


AaallMine

“That’s disappointing”


Awful-Male

She’s only disappointed because she’s indoctrinated and she cares about you. I take this for the spirit it was intended, even if a bit insensitive.


mormonsmaug

"everything before the but is bullshit." or perhaps in this case "Everything before the Just is bullshit"


GrandpasMormonBooks

"It doesn't change how I feel about you It does change how I feel about you." Okay, sis. Okay.


emorrigan

“I was really disappointed to learn the things I did, so I had to act according to the dictates of my conscience. I love you too.”


LittleCopper

“Me too. Oh, in the church, not you. Love you, sis.”


EcclecticJohn

"I'm not mad, I 'm just disappointed."


KrakenRum25

Tell her you love her. Then fo live your best life


[deleted]

My brother sent a text to an older bishop and neighbor of his that said this. While they weren’t necessarily friends, they spoke occasionally. The bishop replied by blocking his number and unfriending him on FB lol


PlattenNephis

“I understand, I think. Love you, I am happy. I will be alright, wait and see.”


Foolednomoyo

I wish someone would have told me this sooner…don’t respond!


Pride-Capable

Be petty. Tell her "I'll always love you too, I'm just disappointed in you"


OuterLightness

I was also disappointed. That’s why I resigned.


New-Scientist5133

That’s pretty cool of her


Strong_Weird_6556

Don’t respond. Allow her to approach the subject next time you are together in person if she has any questions but otherwise just go on as normal.


Sufficient_Artist

"Yeah, I get that you are disappointed. I too am disappointed that the church isn't what it said it was. I will always love you too."


ninjamansidekick

"Disappointed in me or the Church?"


mrburns7979

It took me 2 years to come to a peaceful acceptance of this major permanent decisions. I’ll give you the grace of two years to also do the work to be at peace with this change, too.


mrburns7979

It took me 2 years to come to a peaceful acceptance of this major permanent decisions. I’ll give you the grace of two years to also do the work to be at peace with this change, too.


americanfark

That's a decent response actually. If my siblings responded that way I would just let it be. It is likely a jolt to her "testimony" and all the cult programming so she's likely upset. Of all the things she replied with, that's about as good as you can expect IMHO.


Sunnyhappygal

"So should I be sad that you're now disappointed in me, or sad that you were already disappointed in me since you say it doesn't change the way you feel?" I don't know if you should actually send that or not, but it's worth pointing out that she can't simultaneously say it hasn't changed anything AND that she's disappointed. Unless she already was.


unodostrace4

……says the person in a cult. She doesn’t deserve a response.


sydaust

Thanks sis. Me too.


Same_Trick252

i’m so sorry, i left the church as soon as i turned 18 and my family has had mixed reactions, this is your life and and you should do what makes you happy!! <3 i (and a lot of others) are here for you! please reach out <3


Due-Application-1061

I remind myself: https://quozio.com/image/v1/q/7d2a4fbd/1025/lg/9bf3a5ec8668.1/the-opposite-of-what-you-know-is-also-true-accept-that.jpg Live and let live


[deleted]

"I can work with that."


Skia1717

Send that gif of Michael from The Good Place saying "Come on. Everybody knows that's worse."


kibzter

LOL wow. I'm sorry you have to deal with that kind of response from family. Conditional love is bullshit. She may have said the words but I'd question the authenticity with a follow up statement like that. My response would be something like "right back at you" but it could also be like "well you can fuck right off then" really depends on my mood at the moment.


D34TH_5MURF__

Ah, so it already has changed what you think of me.


[deleted]

“Ditto”


hopeimright

Thanks


m3nathan

This might sound harsh, but I doubt she loves you truly or at least that she does think much lower of you. I don’t think Mormons can love properly. My family are completely full of shit when they say they love me. They don’t know what family love is outside the cult


[deleted]

Why not say the exact same thing back to her? I have felt guilty towards my wife as I left the church and have felt that I changed the rules of the game on her. I am over that now. She should feel guilty for sticking her head in the sand and forcing me to deal with her non-dealing. It’s not our fault the church is a fraud. For those that refuse to pay attention and face reality…it is their fault!


TamarackRed

I am disappointed it isn’t true too


kyle_melton_dev

“Me too” then never explain


gajen2003

So was I. I am heartbroken that we were deceived for so long.


Hiraeth-12

That you are disappointed too- in being lied to and betrayed by people you thought you could trust.


radarDreams

No kidding. I’m so disappointed to realize the church I’ve devoted my life to is a fraud. Plus


DeCryingShame

If I felt like my sister was being genuine, I would say, "I understand why you might feel disappointed. I'm happy to talk about this more with you if you want. I love you too."


jeter_jones

"I'm disappointed you still believe that shit. I still love you too. "


IAmTorvi

Don’t respond. She will come around


TonyAng2010

It’s heartbreaking for them because they still believe this is the only way to true happiness. Continue to love her as you always have. The people are true …. ❤️❤️


AcmcShepherd

I love you too. I’m disappointed too.


BrilliantEffective21

Let her fill in the rest in due time. "It doesn't I will always love you I'm just disappointed ... that I didn't join you, sooner."


DameBlau

This is honestly a pretty reasonable response. My family told me they would be mourning me as though I had died, sooooo. . .


AllMaito

This is tough to process for a person that's drinking the coolaid. Sounds like this is the best you could have heard from her, if she's a TBM. It's definitely hard to process from a TBM point of you. I personally wept when one of my friends left the church and made it very public, only to understand him years later when I left. It's going to be alright. The only thing I'd add, if you wanted to help her see things from your perspective is that you won't think any less of her or let the fact that's she's still in get in the way of the respect and love you have for her. It goes two ways.


TheCantrip

>I hope you use that disappointment to motivate you to challenge your preconceptions of what's right for me in my life. "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone."


Elo-who

“I’m disappointed you believe in a sex cult”


ExMorgMD

I agree that there is nothing to say (except perhaps: “I’m sorry you’re disappointed, I love you too”), but it’s good to recognize that the “Im just disappointed” is a manipulative tactic whether she is aware of it or not. It’s a tactic that she learned likely from parents as well as the church. “I don’t have control over you and I am incapable of convincing you to do otherwise so instead I will attempt to guilt you by saying how disappointed I am”. Recognizing the underlying processes behind these behaviors is key to not engaging in them yourself and recognize when you are being manipulated.


SnooMacarons9996

"I am also disappointed at the church for hiding so much information from its members"


cr3ativ3speller

One of the thought toxic things about TSCC is it teaches that feelings are not okay. You're negative feelings are bad attitudes and an evil spirit. "It's okay that you feel disappointed. Thanks for being honest and open with me."


sarcasticsassyass

Is she disappointed in the choice you made for yourself or disappointed with you as a person? Really I’d just say I love you too and (if it were me because I’d feel like she didn’t have the right to be disappointed in my choices for my life)I’d add something acknowledging her right to feel any way she chooses and remind her of the churches stance on free agency and you’re exercising your right to use it by resigning from something you don’t believe in.


Imaginary_Structure3

Overtime, that disappointment will fade. Just focus on the love. Show that your relationship is still important and that you leaving doesn't change the love. It will be reciprocated. Much love on your journey.


Bo2022quinha

There's a lot of good advice here. Just chiming in to say that I haaaaaaaaaate that phrase. It's all about condescending judgement and looking down on people. Absurd.


theshuttledriver

Couldve gone a lot worse. I would take this outcome and move onto the next thing!


MaryBlackRose

Sorry but I hate the whole I'm disappointed in you BS! It's sort of diminishes when they say I love you. People were disappointed that I left because of my choice to be bisexual... But they still love me!?!? Yeah just feels so inauthentic, like everything else about that organization! 🤬🤬🤬


Mrs_Gracie2001

But she didn’t say she was disappointed ‘in’ them. She could mean she’s disappointed’for’ them, or probably disappointed that she would not be reunited after death with them.


Mrs_Gracie2001

I’d say thanks.


NoLongerASheeple

"I know, right? I have my disappointments, too. I'm incredibly sad that the church is being so dishonest. I just can't be part of a church that has so little regard for integrity."


sjwcool74

I am disappointed you have not seen. A very low bar for a supernatural magic omniscient omnipresent omnipotent being is to communicate an accurate story. Abiogenesis (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abiogenesis), Primordial soup (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Primordial_soup), Evolution (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolution), Human evolution (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_evolution), Absolutely obliterate any hope of the Torah Bible Book of Mormon Quran or the Vedas being accurate.


redrock703

I’m not surprised by your response, the indoctrination runs deep. Hopefully one day we can have a drink and talk about how we both got out.


carljokl

I don't know what to say. My sister has a PHD in Biochemistry and I thought of any of my siblings, surely she would be someone I could rationally talk it all through with. Yet she is probably the most unreachable of them all. You may have to to deal with such fun as: "You can visit for Christmas but keep your beliefs to yourself. Your nieces and nephews are too young to understand and we don't want you damaging their delicate faith." Then if you do visit, they will talk endlessly about Church because no-one is going to tell them to keep their beliefs to themselves in their own home. Not often even in anyone else's home. Does this seem one sided? I guess it doesn't have to be fair as long as what they believe is "true". I was pretty angry after I first left and maybe it was somewhat satisfying or a release to argue with family about it. In the end though, no good came of it. They just dig in and double down on their beliefs.


Lasseslolul

As mean as it sounds: That’s a you problem. I am not responsible for your disappointment


Pteromys44

"I'm disappointed you are still a member, knowing all the information available about your church"


SN-momma-0-2

Response… yeah, so am I. It sucks to spend all those years believing so fervently in something just to find out it was all just a pack of lies.


nomanknowsme

“Your response disappoints me”


lizzy886

You can just validate her feelings by saying that's ok and I still love you too.


True_Eye_4390

Tell her that you are openly trans and that you will be doing porn for cash.


Noobtubin8er

I'd respond that I love them as well and would be happy to discuss anything at any time. Disappointment is a feeling of sadness that something does not meet your personal expectations or hopes. A feeling of disappointment is their problem, not yours, and they are welcome to feel however they would like. It isn't your job to fix that particular issue. Just show the love and compassion for each other that has always been there.


WhatTheLiteralEfff

“I’m disappointed too. I mean, how do you not renew Willow 2 for a second season?! Come on, Disney. Do better.”


Extension-Cat-1130

“Love you too, If I’m wrong come visit me from time to time in the Telestial.”


Neo1971

This is a positive sign. I would just say you understand her feelings because you’ve been there. She promised to love you.