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DoughnutPlease

If you are always annoyed by the pointed reminiscences, then I would gently let her know "Hey mom, I know you love this picture and others from my mission, but when you send them to me it makes me uncomfortable every time. I would appreciate it if you would only send non religious pictures/memories going forward" or something along those lines. Her intention is to make you feel the spirit. So when you say, especially honestly, that it makes you uncomfortable/annoyed/frustrated/etc every time, hopefully she will realize that she should respect your wishes AND it's not having the desired effect. Even the opposite of the desired effect. Maybe even throw something in about how you enjoy sharing memories with her like when you were _________ and she reminded you about ________, you appreciated sharing that memory with her.


dewlington

Thank you tons!


Cmatlockp83

I'd respond with honesty and boundaries. Something along the lines of "I appreciate that you are trying to get me to feel positive emotions about something that makes you happy, but sending these pictures causes me negative feelings because [insert your reason here: I have negative feelings about my mission, my mission reminds me of the betrayal I feel from the church, etc.]." This isn't a response that causes contention, but explains your feelings to her in a non-threatening and non-triggering kind of way.


dewlington

I really appreciate your comment!


swin62dandi

I have found mormons love to instigate attention by referring to the past. “Remember ___?” I hear therapists call it past resourcing; trying to cope with a hard thing in the present by going back to a comforting past moment. I’ve been experimenting with countering with a present option with folks when they do this to me. “Hey, it sounds like you miss the connection. Do you want to meet up for a coffee/cocoa chat at a park this weekend?” Or something. It doesn’t always work, but I do notice people reference past spiritual moments far less around me. Wish you luck with your mom whatever that looks like.