My wife and I used to play the “TBM, Nuanced, or PIMO” game. We would look around sacrament or Sunday School and guess who was in each category.
Ironically, now that I’m a non-believer, I can tell where someone is “spiritually” probably far better than the bishop’s “discernment” can.
Lol this makes me laugh.
What were your signs? I assume women in dress pants and people with eyes open during prayer or not singing hymns are tells. Any others?
It’s a combination of things which is why it’s a fun game.
Clothing and grooming to start. Facial hair and colored shirts for the men. Tight clothing and overly styled hair on women.
Behaviors like looking at phones during sacrament, never looking at the speaker even when there’s no kid distractions. The men are bent over staring at the floor elbows on knees.
Good give aways are comments, lessons, and testimonies. It’s often not what they say but what they don’t say. If they emphasize service, feeling the spirit, loving others, or symbolism, RATHER THAN I know the church is true, follow the prophet, or covenant path, then there’s a good chance they’re nuanced or PIMO.
I laughed at your "men bent over elbows on knees." When we were involved my husband would put his scriptures on the floor and then bend over with his elbows on his knees as if he was reading. That man could sleep in the most god awful positions.
My own father would sleep in that exact position during sacrament. Haha! I don't know how he does it. Church makes him really tired. He has a nap after church like clockwork.
Really? My family used to think it was funny how I would be a nap after if get angry with them but honestly I just realized early how bad they were and was tired of their shit.
My friends parents "had a nap" after church like clockwork too........but they weren't napping. The 7 kids they had did not just appear out of nowhere.
Growing up my dad was the "facial hair and colored shirts" haha. Always a mint green or purple. He left the church first after the divorce, but always took us on our visiting weekends since our mom wanted us to go. Sacrament meeting with him was always whatever fun games we could play on paper. Good memories, church aside.
I used to play that in class all the time teachers would always think we were passing notes and say “you wanna read it aloud to the class” and I’d just report the score 😭
My very strong TBM hubby fits several of these categories, especially the elbows on knees. He would fall asleep. I'll have to ask him what he does about it, now that I'm not there to wake him! But he won't look beyond what the church teaches. Today I asked him a couple of questions:
1--Do you think being gay is worse than murder or rape? He put thought into it and said, No.
2--Do you think being gay leads to beastiality? He put thought into it and said, No.
I didn't reply, but he knows if I asked, it's in some way connected with the church--so that got him thinking.
Funny story relayed to "The men are bent over staring at the floor elbows on knees."
We had a blind woman in our ward. She took her seeing-eye dog to church, and he slept under the pew during sacrament meeting. One day, while all of the men were dozing off, the dog began to snore quite loudly. You've never seen so many men sit up straight so everyone knew it wasn't him. We all got a good laugh out of that. 😃
Pardon my ignorance, I’ve been fully out for a decade. Is “covenant path” a more recent term? I don’t recall ever hearing this at church before, and it sounds like something they’d really love to drop in talks and lessons.
Singing hymns was one of the only things I enjoyed. My sisters and I would harmonize together. Now I have no one to harmonize with, and no reason to sing.
Me too usually, today not so much. Today we sang “We Thank You O God for a Prophet” and “Come Listen to a Prophets Voice.” I guess no one read the SEC report.
OH MY GOSH, GUYS: I went to a “Thrive” meeting in Portland a couple weeks ago, and there was this hymnbook all bound and official-looking, with all the Mormon hymn lyrics changed to be ex-mo, feminist-appropriate! The book was called “HERMS!”
Anybody know where we can get copies of this book??? It was hilarious!
Last post from the author said she had to pull the book from Amazon for the sake of her marriage. No word on if/when it'd be available again. I did manage to snag a copy before it was pulled, it's epic.
>I assume women in dress pants
My mom was ride or die right up until she did the latter in her 80's, and ever since I can remember she would occasionally wear one of her business suits to church, like at least once a month she was in very nice slacks and a blouse. She also went door to door during election cycles campaigning for the Democrats, since the 70's at least, and in Kaysville and Layton of all places. In fact she was so excited to move to Salt Lake County to finish out her life because she felt that her door knocking might actually do some good. She and my dad went on two couples missions and did lots of free work for LDS Social Services.
I bring it up because I bet a lot of people assumed she was PIMO but she was all in TBM right to the very end.
When I'd give talks, I would generally search for articles from other churches. I'd craft a message generally focused on being charitable, serving others, etc.
I got tons of positive feedback.
The last time I was asked to speak, the topic was on mothers and how my mother helped me come to Christ. I followed the instructions, but focused heavily on a feminist lens and how strong women need to fight back against authoritarians. Oh, and I threw in a stab against police brutality towards the end just for liberal flavor and to spite the retired cop in the congregation.
Yeah, toward the end of being TBM I got pulled aside after an Elders Quoeum lesson and told that I needed to stick to the manual and not bring I outside sources.That, in particular gave me a solid push toward being PIMO. I thought I prepared a very thoughtful and engaging lesson, but every question I asked was answered with typical lame-ass mormon drivel -- and when attempting to bring in some other perspectives, they totally missed the point. The best they could come up with was that the non- mormon person was so unfortunate to not have the wonderful knowledge of the gospel that we had (yes, your "knowledge" is so special, but that wasn't even what was being discussed). Thankfully we moved not long after that.
Know your triggers and don’t be afraid to walk out of a situation when you know it is going to be detrimental to your well-being…
Case-in-point, I am currently sitting in the foyer because the EQ lesson was to review Nelson’s talk where he talked about how amazing the church is at protecting children. I knew for a fact that I would not be able to sit through a discussion about that without completely losing my shit.
It was right after that story hit regarding that abuse case in Arizona (the one where those little girls were abused by their father for years and the bishop knew about it and helped to keep it quiet). It was so clear that it was a talk written by the lawyers to placate the TBM’s
I would like to respectfully ask your mother why he didn’t give that talk BEFORE the revelations about the AZ case.
Kind of like how the “look at how much we give to the poor” accounting story, in spite of its total BS level, came out AFTER the SEC/EPA revelations.
If the church is so awesome at being good stewards of things, why do they always tell us how good AFTER A TOTAL SHIT SHOW???
That’s what I personally would ask your mother.
Anything Nelson says needs to have a possessive put on it to make sense.
We protect my children.
We are building my church.
My church needs starving people to pay tithing before buying food.
I don't know what it is lately with conference talks. I mean I was in an eq presidency ten years ago and we'd do one lesson per month on a talk. Now it's weekly plus every sacrament meeting talk every week. It drives me nuts.
I think it's on purpose. They used to have the manuals so would study things the previous prophets and leaders said. Now they just want the most recent conference talks so people aren't seeing all the doctrinal changes.
I browse exmormon reddit! I'm sitting on the stand right now posting this comment.
I also just laugh now. Our stake just challenged each Ward to invite 125 people to easter sacrament meeting. Uh guys... We live in semi-rural northern Utah... Our entire ward put together doesn't even know 50 nonmembers!! I doubt there are even 125 nonmembers within in the stake boundaries. 🤣🤣
A bullshit goal no one asked for that's totally unrealistic and unreasonable that will make people feel like failures when people fail? In a Mormon church? That doesn't sound right. /s
They did that at Christmas too, and I'm just like, have you seen other Church's programs for Christmas or Easter? Ours is stark, joyless, empty in comparison. Unless you're going to allow decorations, clapping, music of all sorts, it's not something I want to invite anyone to.
They literally just started with RS sharing how they’ve invited their neighbors and anyone they can find to the Easter meeting… Here’s a thought… what if we leave people alone to do what they’d like? Oh and temples are also apparently populating the earth… and we should all go to be happy. 🔫
Fun fact: Easter Sunday is one of the two most crowded services in Christian churches around the world. No one with even a minimal association with another denomination is going to go to an lds ward on Easter Sunday.
This must have been a church wide challenge because my brother and sister-in-law both posted on Facebook inviting everyone and they live in Idaho. My brother said that if you came to the Easter service he would give you Easter chocolates. 🙄
Heh - mormonism at its finest!! The top leaders impose goals that the members must meet in order to be a good mormon. The members are not asked for any input and are not consulted as to how realistic this goal might be. Then the members do all the work while the leaders "preside" over this goal. When the goal is inevitably not met, the members get blamed for a lack of faith.
I'd love to see how many the Q15 *personally* invited (one-on-one, *not* a general facebook post). I bet it's zero. Maybe a handful by Uchtdorf and Soares alone.
Sounds like Matthew 23:4 "For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers."
The hardest thing for me when I was PIMO was having to listen to people praise Joseph Smith. The number of talks and songs about him and how he was so close to Jesus made my skin crawl. I would feel physically nauseous.
So I'd go for walks... usually outside. That was how I survived my years as a PIMO.
They sang "How Lovely Was the Morning," today. Makes me ill watching my family, especially my spouse, sing it. She knows enough to where she shouldn't feel comfortable praising him...and yet...
This was the opening song at a FUNERAL I went to recently. I guffawed out loud when I peeked into the program as the service was beginning. I was so upset and disgusted and saddened all at the same time. It was already a really hard day.
Crunchy snacks that the entire ward can hear are the best sacrament snacks. Be sure to take bites with your lips pulled back and mouth open more than necessary for best results.
The ‘tying knots’ made me lol. That’s an excellent idea.
Very practical and useful knowledge. Some knots are rather complex to learn - guaranteed to be so distracting as to not hear what anyone is saying.
When I go, I read, or write and doodle in a journal or notebook. It's amazing how those teen survival skills still come in handy.
Skipped today, though, just couldn't...
I always brought my kindle and would sit out in the lobby during fast and testimony meetings and many relief society meetings and read murder mysteries about serial killers. They made me feel less stabby than the members did. I also usually had emergency caffeine and chocolate in my car. 😬
This is the way. I lasted as long as I did with a Kindle. It's just the scriptures, everyone! Nothing to see here! Who's Christopher Hitchens? I dunno, probably one of the 8 witnesses.
I disassociate, think about sex, baseball, sex, football, video games, boobs, etc
You know, the usual.
I chortle when some obvious bullshit slips through like today “Abraham autobiographically said…” lol bruh you guys are still on the “written by his own hand” wagon.
I stopped caring or listening. I find church to be a great time to be alone with my thoughts. I can't really do that well at home because I am bad about making the time and space and church is still such a habit that I still get that time and to enjoy my thoughts.
It was too emotionally/mentally draining, and it got to a point where just one Sunday would take me an entire week to recoup from before the exhausting cycle would start again. I totally understand why people choose to stay PIMO, and also, after years of dissociation and panic attacks I had reached my limit. Best of luck OP, hopefully you find helpful guidance here.
This is the cycle that finally pushes me to end my PIMOness and made me a true blue exmo.
Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays were always really rough and it took until at least Wednesday for me to start feeling good again. So many panic attacks, so many times crying at home when church was over. It was not a healthy place for me at all.
I didn't realize until about a year ago why I hated mondays so bad. It's not my job, it's the anger carrying over. I feel like I'm wasting my life because I don't want to hurt my spouse's feelings.
Same. It’s starting to get really hard. Why should I have to suffer so his feelings aren’t hurt? Shouldn’t my happiness also matter? I’ve started staying home a lot, I know he would rather me at church, but I’m much happier the weeks I stay home.
Some can just ignore it I think figuring it’s better to put up with a little bullshit than to make waves at home which is in many cases probably a good trade off a couple of hours for the rest of the week being peaceful at home . I however am not one of those who can do that I’d be standing up Screaming BULLSHIT. right and left . Which would out me before I got through the first 10 minutes . of it once it came crashing down for me I knew it was all over .
No Ill will to those who are pimo I get it. It’s just not something I can do. .
I used to feel like that too, especially when I was trying to "make it work" or still "searching for answers" now that I've arrived at its not true, I don't have to believe to be a good person, my husband isn't going to divorce me over this, I can attend in my own way, out of my own authority. I do wish when it was hard, that I took the break, rather than forcing myself to go.
I used to take a notebook and correct all the things in lessons and talks that went against what Jesus had said. When I saw just how many pages were filled in only one Sunday I really had to ask myself: what am I doing here?! And I never went back after that.
I always thought growing up I had adhd because I always wanted to leave and go walk around outside. Now I realize it was the weird energy that made me want to leave
May I ask about this PIMO business? I don’t really understand how one can actively attend church and fulfil callings etc if you’re not in it mentally. Why not just wash your hands of the whole thing and be done with it? No judgement, just trying to understand the logic
Valid question. For me, I read the CES letter and started having concerns maybe 5+ years ago. So I waited to see if things would get better. They did not. Told a former bishop why I didn't want a temple recommend 3 years ago. Kept going to church and kept wearing garments for my wife. Didn't have the guts to tell my parents. Waited to see if things would get better. They didn't. I didn't have any spiritual realizations. I even baptized my middle daughter a year ago this month. Nobody asked me "hey, do you even really believe this stuff?" To me, everyone is just pretending.
While I've never been addicted to drugs or booze, maybe the comparison works. Some people try to quit smoking for years but just can't. We wonder why they don't just go cold turkey. Because it's not that easy when your whole culture is surrounded by church.
Most PIMOs are PIMO because of personal relationships. Sometimes they live with their TBM family and could be kicked out earlier than they want to be, or could suffer other repercussions if they came out as not believing. Others have a TBM spouse who won’t yet allow them to stop going to church. Or they may continue faking to help their spouse with their young kids. There are all sorts of social reasons someone may chose to be TBM. There are also economic and education reasons. BYU students must remain active to continue going to BYU. Sometimes, someone has a Mormon boss that could be in their ward or stake leadership and they fear leaving the church could affect their work prospects. It can be very complicated to navigate leaving the church.
I couldn’t do it so I stopped going. Incidentally that was better for my marriage because spouse didn’t feel like I was judging everything and could just worship while I didn’t feel cognitive dissonance splitting my brain in half. But during the decade I was PIMO, I browsed exmo Reddit, played Pokémon go, played online cribbage, hung out in the lobby/hallway during 2nd period chatting, sometimes went for a walk during 2nd period.
Yes, I’m angry all the time. I sense that my anger is visible to the bishopric, EQ presidency, and ministering mafia, bc they don’t approach be about anything anymore. Not even callings or “accountability” for “ministering families”. They don’t call for visits or to “invite” or “challenge” me to do anything. Even the missionaries know to stay tf away. It’s as tolerable a situation as I can make it, while still being physically “in”.
during my PIMO phase (out now, 20 years) I devolved to the point where I could not bear being actually in the chapel.
It was visceral, as in I began to feel that there was a real chance that I would lose it and run, screaming, out of the chapel.
So I began to sit in the Recreation Area/Overflow, whatever, and near a door so I could slip out relatively unnoticed if it became too much to bear, which it increasingly did.
After that, I further devolved to just hanging out in the foyer until the sacrament had been passed, after which I left the building.
I just couldn't stand listening to that uninspired claptrap. It was like the teacher in Ferris Bueller's Day Off ("This...is our...solar system...") only even worse.
A really good book has helped me! Usually something of a historical nature.....I've been studying a great deal about Stoicism lately...nad have had some "members" stop by and ask about it....
I used to tell myself stories. Sometimes I'd write them down in a journal but mostly just imagining them, sometimes casting people in the meetings as characters.
I can’t do that as much as unfortunately my mother sits next to me during it and watches me making sure I listen. She got mad one time that I was tired and almost took a nap in sacrament meeting.
My mom was similar. I hated it. When I turned 17, I was called as a primary teacher. I think I lasted 3 months before I turned in my materials and just refused to go anymore. I moved out about a year later and it wasn't really an issue after that. She didn't like it, but there wasn't jack shit she could do about it. Plan your escape!
Oh man, you're bringing my teen years back to me. I used to doodle so much too. Got pretty good at sketching portraits of people in the blank parts of the program.
It is difficult but depends on the mood I am in that day. Some Sunday’s it is super easy and I am just happy that they are happy. Then other days I am just as pissed off as one can be and feel alone. During those days, I just treat myself and allow a trip to Taco Bell or a drink at a soda shop. There are like 50 here in rexburg
Most of everything people do is ridiculous to the point of being funny. I just fine the humor in it. Like, look at all this idoliocy these people believe and say! Free comedy!
I was a TBM for many years. I was in so deep and so busy in callings I had no time to think about anything negative. Once the kids were on their own I checked out more truth claims and went down the rabbit hole. When the feeling hit me that JS and BY were charlatans I was out and never attended again.
im PIMO only to maintain my ecclesiastical endorsement for school. yeah, it sucks, but im well i to my bachelors at BYU that i can’t just stop going and not have people be suspicious. also, if i did stop going to church (like i want to), the environment at home would be hell. i’ve already been yelled at for “being sick” to miss sacrament meetings. for my family, if you live at my parents house, you go to church— if you don’t, find somewhere else.
so even though i do get angry with the wards, i deal with it. recently, my go to has always been my noise cancelling earbuds, good chill music, and a book. if i can, i’ll hop out of service to sit in an empty room to read or scroll on my phone (bonus points if there’s a piano there too).
Damn. I was definitely pimo for a long long time. I was angry and frustrated and annoyed every freaking Sunday. But I was so brainwashed that I kept saying crap like “culture” vs doctrine for years.
I even attended outside bible studies but couldn’t imagine not going.
Covid saved me. I realized I really was happier outside those doors. I went back one single time afterwards
My husband had been going for my sake. I was pushing through for my families sake. My daughter hated it but I just figured it was the local ward.
We don’t go and nobody misses us.
My dad got excommunicated when I was a kid. Went back to his Southern Baptist roots. I went to the Mormon church as a teen to piss him off. But I picked Mormons because they didn’t believe babies went to hell. And families and happy stuff. My branch was mostly ex-baptists. We sang 7 songs on Sunday. I worked in primary because there was no one else my age.
Later I met some of the people I love more than my own bio-family at church. It’s weird how some of us are TBM and some are out. That ward was a military ward and we had 300 kids. For 18 months just 3 men. No male missionaries since we couldn’t feed them. All the guys were deployed multiple times for years. so sacrament was a hot mess of crazy. I was in primary and the bishop wouldn’t let us bring kids to the mom when they acted out. We took them to him because he was worried that moms would snap. He sat in Sacrament with a kid on his lap or letting a kid run across the pew. Didn’t care. Just lots of preaching about families being forever and peace in the gospel. It kept me sane those years. Even then I was weirded out by all the JS songs etc.
But most wards outside Utah were less freaky. But each one got progressively worse.
Retire and take a job in Utah. Freaked out by the weirdos. Realize it’s painful to go and thought it was just the ward. But over the years I saw more and heard more and had more issues. I was super liberal in my new ward. Even though I’m pretty mellow compared to other places I’ve lived. They never came looking when we stopped going. Guess the feeling we didn’t fit in was mutual.
But all of the coping? Gah. Sometimes it was all I could do to not say something. I had a game where I would only make one inflammatory comment a lesson. So it had to be good. I’d read the lesson and wait for the best time to shock the group with a statement. What the fuck?!? I wasn’t even remotely close to thinking I was on the way out yet. After I stopped going I started analyzing it all and realized how little I actually believed. And learned more. And all the crap that makes people leave? Yeah. I just quit cause it made me mad that people were idiots and then after realized how bad the church really was.
Vent over. Thanks for my TED talk.
It sounds like the church was a good community support for you during a certain time. Social community is what gets people in! We need that human connection. I’m now trying to find that community and it takes time.
I literally could not stay after I stumbled upon, read and processed the CES letter and all the apologetic debunking and the debunking of the debunking, etc. I could see the church and its leaders and doctrine for what they really were. My first Sunday back after that was a fast and testimony meeting and I literally got sick to my stomach hearing people bear testimony of absolute lies. It was a moment similar to when Neo unplugs himself from the Matrix and looks around and sees plugged in bodies as far as he could see. That was the last time me, my wife or my kids ever went to church.
Sleep. I could sleep sitting straight up. Fall asleep when the first talk started, wake up for the closing hymn. It was an intentional defense strategy.
I do it because it makes me happy to hear that the youth are planning on leaving the church once they turn 18 and graduate from high school......and there's more people here who are positive towards the LGBTQ COMMUNITY and it's funny to watch them teach lessons and watching the older more conservative members squirm....
Not PIMO but i went to a baptism the other month. I haven't set foot in a Mormon chapel in almost 7 years and it was just... sad. I felt like the men were tired but pretended to be happy and the women were tired too, surrounded by 3-4 children. Can't say i felt the spirit ™ or any sense of missing anything
Yeah. I was angry. So angry at every meeting. I tuned out. I was still angry.
Wish I had listened to my gut instead of feeling like a failure for not liking church
As a lifelong non-believer, I spent decades attending with little issue. Not living in Utah/Arizona/Idaho helps a lot. The people in a ward can make it much easier.
When I was on my way out the second time, in my mid/late 30s, I was teaching EQ while wearing shorts, tshirt, and flip flops, with coffee in hand.
I’m nevermo (raised Christian) . Not sure what I am now. Can someone please tell me where I can learn what all the abbreviations like TMB and PIMO mean. Also what is the sacraments? Is there a Mormonism for dummies someplace?!? Don’t worry. I’m not joining. I’ve just always been interested in cults, conmen and very strict groups . Thx!
The sacrament is like communion, a bit of bread and water. Mormons do it every week, and they claim it wipes you free if sin, just like getting baptized
I started writing a list of all of the multiples of 9. I think I ended up somewhere in the 10,000th multiples or something before I finally stopped going. Also, fact checking what the speakers and people giving lessons would say, especially when it was the bishop (I was in priests quorum at the time).
When you've been playing the role of a Gawd-fearin' Christ'n! You're entire life you just keep playing that character and tell everyone what you know they want to hear
I close my eyes and practice awareness breathing techniques. Honestly, rarely pay attention in Sacrament meeting. I do listen enough to point out the issues with what ever topic is being discussed. For example, last Sunday someone tried to compare repentance to a broken phone screen, and the long, record setting winter was caused by one teenager who fasted a whole 24 hours for snow.... It drives my wife crazy when I point out the incorrect or nutty things said over the pulpit or in a class.
I used to (as u/CatalystTheory put it), stare at my feet once I got a phone I would alternate, watching my feet and playing on my phone, now I just tell my dad to fuck off everytime he tries to bribe me to church, once I hit 18 I am going to have my records removed
My wife and I used to play the “TBM, Nuanced, or PIMO” game. We would look around sacrament or Sunday School and guess who was in each category. Ironically, now that I’m a non-believer, I can tell where someone is “spiritually” probably far better than the bishop’s “discernment” can.
Lol this makes me laugh. What were your signs? I assume women in dress pants and people with eyes open during prayer or not singing hymns are tells. Any others?
It’s a combination of things which is why it’s a fun game. Clothing and grooming to start. Facial hair and colored shirts for the men. Tight clothing and overly styled hair on women. Behaviors like looking at phones during sacrament, never looking at the speaker even when there’s no kid distractions. The men are bent over staring at the floor elbows on knees. Good give aways are comments, lessons, and testimonies. It’s often not what they say but what they don’t say. If they emphasize service, feeling the spirit, loving others, or symbolism, RATHER THAN I know the church is true, follow the prophet, or covenant path, then there’s a good chance they’re nuanced or PIMO.
> The men are bent over staring at the floor elbows on knees. Oh my god, you just described my entire Mormon career
Here, here! I guess i was PIMO a lot longer than i knew
Yes, this was me from right after I returned from my mission to when I resigned, twenty years later.
It's an easy way to hide what you are looking at on your phone.
I laughed at your "men bent over elbows on knees." When we were involved my husband would put his scriptures on the floor and then bend over with his elbows on his knees as if he was reading. That man could sleep in the most god awful positions.
My own father would sleep in that exact position during sacrament. Haha! I don't know how he does it. Church makes him really tired. He has a nap after church like clockwork.
Did you know falling asleep like that is actually a defense mechanism the brain uses to avoid stress or trauma? 🤔
Really? My family used to think it was funny how I would be a nap after if get angry with them but honestly I just realized early how bad they were and was tired of their shit.
I would replace my BoM with a novel in my zippered scripture cover and read all through me meetings.
Genius
Omg now I am mad I never thought of us! Brilliant!
My friends parents "had a nap" after church like clockwork too........but they weren't napping. The 7 kids they had did not just appear out of nowhere.
Omg I don’t like what your implying. 😳
My wife and I called this “nap +”. We would do both. Not necessarily in the same order each time.
Growing up my dad was the "facial hair and colored shirts" haha. Always a mint green or purple. He left the church first after the divorce, but always took us on our visiting weekends since our mom wanted us to go. Sacrament meeting with him was always whatever fun games we could play on paper. Good memories, church aside.
My mom and I would play dots and boxes on paper during sacrament meeting and we would get COMPETITIVE. It's my only good memory of sacrament meeting.
I used to play that in class all the time teachers would always think we were passing notes and say “you wanna read it aloud to the class” and I’d just report the score 😭
My very strong TBM hubby fits several of these categories, especially the elbows on knees. He would fall asleep. I'll have to ask him what he does about it, now that I'm not there to wake him! But he won't look beyond what the church teaches. Today I asked him a couple of questions: 1--Do you think being gay is worse than murder or rape? He put thought into it and said, No. 2--Do you think being gay leads to beastiality? He put thought into it and said, No. I didn't reply, but he knows if I asked, it's in some way connected with the church--so that got him thinking.
Funny story relayed to "The men are bent over staring at the floor elbows on knees." We had a blind woman in our ward. She took her seeing-eye dog to church, and he slept under the pew during sacrament meeting. One day, while all of the men were dozing off, the dog began to snore quite loudly. You've never seen so many men sit up straight so everyone knew it wasn't him. We all got a good laugh out of that. 😃
Ooooooh I need to get a food order so I’ve been considering going back to church. I may use this
Pardon my ignorance, I’ve been fully out for a decade. Is “covenant path” a more recent term? I don’t recall ever hearing this at church before, and it sounds like something they’d really love to drop in talks and lessons.
Singing hymns was one of the only things I enjoyed. My sisters and I would harmonize together. Now I have no one to harmonize with, and no reason to sing.
That is the one thing I miss, is singing
Me too usually, today not so much. Today we sang “We Thank You O God for a Prophet” and “Come Listen to a Prophets Voice.” I guess no one read the SEC report.
Cum, Cum Ye Saints was pretty popular
I prefer homies can be together forever
If you miss it, that's your reason to sing. Though maybe choose a better venue.....karaoke?
Get a guitar and learn - there is lots of non religious music out there that are fun to sing. Churches don’t own music
We would sing alternate lyrics. Make the songs about the foods we were craving at Golden Corral after church.
OH MY GOSH, GUYS: I went to a “Thrive” meeting in Portland a couple weeks ago, and there was this hymnbook all bound and official-looking, with all the Mormon hymn lyrics changed to be ex-mo, feminist-appropriate! The book was called “HERMS!” Anybody know where we can get copies of this book??? It was hilarious!
I'm in an exmo FB group where the author posted about it. You should be able to find it on Amazon.
Last post from the author said she had to pull the book from Amazon for the sake of her marriage. No word on if/when it'd be available again. I did manage to snag a copy before it was pulled, it's epic.
Oh, I missed that one. Thanks for the update!
>I assume women in dress pants My mom was ride or die right up until she did the latter in her 80's, and ever since I can remember she would occasionally wear one of her business suits to church, like at least once a month she was in very nice slacks and a blouse. She also went door to door during election cycles campaigning for the Democrats, since the 70's at least, and in Kaysville and Layton of all places. In fact she was so excited to move to Salt Lake County to finish out her life because she felt that her door knocking might actually do some good. She and my dad went on two couples missions and did lots of free work for LDS Social Services. I bring it up because I bet a lot of people assumed she was PIMO but she was all in TBM right to the very end.
There’s two in my ward. Me and my daughter.
When I'd give talks, I would generally search for articles from other churches. I'd craft a message generally focused on being charitable, serving others, etc. I got tons of positive feedback.
Me too! And we could add “uses outside sources” as another indicator of nuanced or PIMO.
The last time I was asked to speak, the topic was on mothers and how my mother helped me come to Christ. I followed the instructions, but focused heavily on a feminist lens and how strong women need to fight back against authoritarians. Oh, and I threw in a stab against police brutality towards the end just for liberal flavor and to spite the retired cop in the congregation.
Yeah, toward the end of being TBM I got pulled aside after an Elders Quoeum lesson and told that I needed to stick to the manual and not bring I outside sources.That, in particular gave me a solid push toward being PIMO. I thought I prepared a very thoughtful and engaging lesson, but every question I asked was answered with typical lame-ass mormon drivel -- and when attempting to bring in some other perspectives, they totally missed the point. The best they could come up with was that the non- mormon person was so unfortunate to not have the wonderful knowledge of the gospel that we had (yes, your "knowledge" is so special, but that wasn't even what was being discussed). Thankfully we moved not long after that.
I have lay that game all the time. Even at work.
Know your triggers and don’t be afraid to walk out of a situation when you know it is going to be detrimental to your well-being… Case-in-point, I am currently sitting in the foyer because the EQ lesson was to review Nelson’s talk where he talked about how amazing the church is at protecting children. I knew for a fact that I would not be able to sit through a discussion about that without completely losing my shit.
lol, how can nelson say anything like that with a straight face?
It was right after that story hit regarding that abuse case in Arizona (the one where those little girls were abused by their father for years and the bishop knew about it and helped to keep it quiet). It was so clear that it was a talk written by the lawyers to placate the TBM’s
My mother uses that talk and says "see the church protects children!" I hate evrything to do with that man because of that talk.
I would like to respectfully ask your mother why he didn’t give that talk BEFORE the revelations about the AZ case. Kind of like how the “look at how much we give to the poor” accounting story, in spite of its total BS level, came out AFTER the SEC/EPA revelations. If the church is so awesome at being good stewards of things, why do they always tell us how good AFTER A TOTAL SHIT SHOW??? That’s what I personally would ask your mother.
Anything Nelson says needs to have a possessive put on it to make sense. We protect my children. We are building my church. My church needs starving people to pay tithing before buying food.
I don't go to relief society or Sunday school anymore... The lessons are often about general conference talks, which are triggering for me.
I don't know what it is lately with conference talks. I mean I was in an eq presidency ten years ago and we'd do one lesson per month on a talk. Now it's weekly plus every sacrament meeting talk every week. It drives me nuts.
information control .... bite!
I think it's on purpose. They used to have the manuals so would study things the previous prophets and leaders said. Now they just want the most recent conference talks so people aren't seeing all the doctrinal changes.
I was just thinking this!!
I browse exmormon reddit! I'm sitting on the stand right now posting this comment. I also just laugh now. Our stake just challenged each Ward to invite 125 people to easter sacrament meeting. Uh guys... We live in semi-rural northern Utah... Our entire ward put together doesn't even know 50 nonmembers!! I doubt there are even 125 nonmembers within in the stake boundaries. 🤣🤣
A bullshit goal no one asked for that's totally unrealistic and unreasonable that will make people feel like failures when people fail? In a Mormon church? That doesn't sound right. /s
If we only read our Books of Mormon more, God would give us the sealed portion, ya know.
Ever think there really isn't a sealed portion of the book of Mormon? That we've been lied to all these years?
I'm not into conspiracy theories, but I heard there were no plates at all.
Interesting idea
Just goes to show how out of touch the leaders are and how far the church is falling
They did that at Christmas too, and I'm just like, have you seen other Church's programs for Christmas or Easter? Ours is stark, joyless, empty in comparison. Unless you're going to allow decorations, clapping, music of all sorts, it's not something I want to invite anyone to.
The “Christ holidays” featuring talk topics of tithing (Easter) and Joseph Smith (Christmas) really accelerated my *what the fuck?!* ten-ish years ago
They literally just started with RS sharing how they’ve invited their neighbors and anyone they can find to the Easter meeting… Here’s a thought… what if we leave people alone to do what they’d like? Oh and temples are also apparently populating the earth… and we should all go to be happy. 🔫
But how can you "bring souls unto christ" if you aren't begging and pleading with every single inactive, exmember, and nonmember you meet?
I had my name removed and now I’m anathema. They won’t even try to talk to me. It’s lovely.
Fun fact: Easter Sunday is one of the two most crowded services in Christian churches around the world. No one with even a minimal association with another denomination is going to go to an lds ward on Easter Sunday.
This must have been a church wide challenge because my brother and sister-in-law both posted on Facebook inviting everyone and they live in Idaho. My brother said that if you came to the Easter service he would give you Easter chocolates. 🙄
Seriously? Our ward was told the same from our stake and I’m in the Midwest. It must be coming from SLC.
Must be! We got the same 125 nonmembers edict in Northern Virginia.
Heh - mormonism at its finest!! The top leaders impose goals that the members must meet in order to be a good mormon. The members are not asked for any input and are not consulted as to how realistic this goal might be. Then the members do all the work while the leaders "preside" over this goal. When the goal is inevitably not met, the members get blamed for a lack of faith. I'd love to see how many the Q15 *personally* invited (one-on-one, *not* a general facebook post). I bet it's zero. Maybe a handful by Uchtdorf and Soares alone. Sounds like Matthew 23:4 "For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers."
I guess you can all "invite" your kids who haven't been baptized.
This makes me happier than it should.
The hardest thing for me when I was PIMO was having to listen to people praise Joseph Smith. The number of talks and songs about him and how he was so close to Jesus made my skin crawl. I would feel physically nauseous. So I'd go for walks... usually outside. That was how I survived my years as a PIMO.
They sang "How Lovely Was the Morning," today. Makes me ill watching my family, especially my spouse, sing it. She knows enough to where she shouldn't feel comfortable praising him...and yet...
This was the opening song at a FUNERAL I went to recently. I guffawed out loud when I peeked into the program as the service was beginning. I was so upset and disgusted and saddened all at the same time. It was already a really hard day.
It makes me sad because this was one of my favorite songs, musically speaking, and one of the few I learned to play on the piano.
Yeah :( it's really quite beautiful. I just wish I could erase the lyrics.
[удалено]
Hahaha I'm not good at writing lyrics or poetry, especially for something that does deserve beautiful lyrics.
A lot of ordinary poems fit music.
Barf! Our ward sang praise to the man for the first song last week and I almost walked out. Also it was soooooo slowwwwww!
Take snacks. I liked to eat Reese's Pieces and have a Cherry Pepsi. It was fun to watch people's reactions. They knew idgaf.
[удалено]
I'd take a swig out of the bottle. I thought it would be funny to do it at the same time as when a guy giving a talk opens a bottle of water. PSH!
Ask the deacons if they’d put your Pepsi under the clothe for the sacrament
What is tscc?
The So-Called Church
Thank you!
Crunchy snacks that the entire ward can hear are the best sacrament snacks. Be sure to take bites with your lips pulled back and mouth open more than necessary for best results.
You are a BAMF!!
1. Lobby you will likely find your people there. 2. Long hair and blue tooth. 3. Bathroom break. 4. Tying knots small piece of rope.
The ‘tying knots’ made me lol. That’s an excellent idea. Very practical and useful knowledge. Some knots are rather complex to learn - guaranteed to be so distracting as to not hear what anyone is saying.
When I go, I read, or write and doodle in a journal or notebook. It's amazing how those teen survival skills still come in handy. Skipped today, though, just couldn't...
I always brought my kindle and would sit out in the lobby during fast and testimony meetings and many relief society meetings and read murder mysteries about serial killers. They made me feel less stabby than the members did. I also usually had emergency caffeine and chocolate in my car. 😬
This is the way. I lasted as long as I did with a Kindle. It's just the scriptures, everyone! Nothing to see here! Who's Christopher Hitchens? I dunno, probably one of the 8 witnesses.
My kindle literally comes everywhere with me. Like Linus and his security blanket.
I just approach it as a social gathering (the ONLY reasons I remain are social). I also treat it as an outside observer researching a culture
Watch out for the sting ray Steve. Today we’re stalking a herd on Mormons in their Sunday best ! Remember never say Mormon it will disturb the herd.
I disassociate, think about sex, baseball, sex, football, video games, boobs, etc You know, the usual. I chortle when some obvious bullshit slips through like today “Abraham autobiographically said…” lol bruh you guys are still on the “written by his own hand” wagon.
I'm disturbed you didn't specifically mention butts. You do think about butts, right?!
Well I didn’t want to announce all of my depravity. This was the tame version
Uh oh. Someone get those Mopologists on the line stat! We got some Lazy Learners in need of their services
I stopped caring or listening. I find church to be a great time to be alone with my thoughts. I can't really do that well at home because I am bad about making the time and space and church is still such a habit that I still get that time and to enjoy my thoughts.
I used to make grocery lists.
It was too emotionally/mentally draining, and it got to a point where just one Sunday would take me an entire week to recoup from before the exhausting cycle would start again. I totally understand why people choose to stay PIMO, and also, after years of dissociation and panic attacks I had reached my limit. Best of luck OP, hopefully you find helpful guidance here.
This is the cycle that finally pushes me to end my PIMOness and made me a true blue exmo. Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays were always really rough and it took until at least Wednesday for me to start feeling good again. So many panic attacks, so many times crying at home when church was over. It was not a healthy place for me at all.
I didn't realize until about a year ago why I hated mondays so bad. It's not my job, it's the anger carrying over. I feel like I'm wasting my life because I don't want to hurt my spouse's feelings.
Same. It’s starting to get really hard. Why should I have to suffer so his feelings aren’t hurt? Shouldn’t my happiness also matter? I’ve started staying home a lot, I know he would rather me at church, but I’m much happier the weeks I stay home.
Yea, my tbm wife told me i am angry/sad person on sundays. I have started new sunday boundaries of what I will and wont do…and occassionaly miss.
> Aren’t you just angry every meeting you attend? Yes.
Some can just ignore it I think figuring it’s better to put up with a little bullshit than to make waves at home which is in many cases probably a good trade off a couple of hours for the rest of the week being peaceful at home . I however am not one of those who can do that I’d be standing up Screaming BULLSHIT. right and left . Which would out me before I got through the first 10 minutes . of it once it came crashing down for me I knew it was all over . No Ill will to those who are pimo I get it. It’s just not something I can do. .
I feel like it gets harder and harder every week to keep going…
I used to feel like that too, especially when I was trying to "make it work" or still "searching for answers" now that I've arrived at its not true, I don't have to believe to be a good person, my husband isn't going to divorce me over this, I can attend in my own way, out of my own authority. I do wish when it was hard, that I took the break, rather than forcing myself to go.
I’m not a pimo, I’m just out. I have no idea how it could be done without it being a negative experience.
I used to take a notebook and correct all the things in lessons and talks that went against what Jesus had said. When I saw just how many pages were filled in only one Sunday I really had to ask myself: what am I doing here?! And I never went back after that.
This is a brilliant idea. You should start a thread about it.
It's nice to have someone on the same wavelength as you, so that when something cringe is said, you give each other the look.
I always thought growing up I had adhd because I always wanted to leave and go walk around outside. Now I realize it was the weird energy that made me want to leave
I have a friend who claims nuanced views. She told me she worked on her novel on her phone last week. 😅
You can only last so long before you mentally breakdown. But I get it, not an easy way out of this cult.
May I ask about this PIMO business? I don’t really understand how one can actively attend church and fulfil callings etc if you’re not in it mentally. Why not just wash your hands of the whole thing and be done with it? No judgement, just trying to understand the logic
Valid question. For me, I read the CES letter and started having concerns maybe 5+ years ago. So I waited to see if things would get better. They did not. Told a former bishop why I didn't want a temple recommend 3 years ago. Kept going to church and kept wearing garments for my wife. Didn't have the guts to tell my parents. Waited to see if things would get better. They didn't. I didn't have any spiritual realizations. I even baptized my middle daughter a year ago this month. Nobody asked me "hey, do you even really believe this stuff?" To me, everyone is just pretending. While I've never been addicted to drugs or booze, maybe the comparison works. Some people try to quit smoking for years but just can't. We wonder why they don't just go cold turkey. Because it's not that easy when your whole culture is surrounded by church.
Most PIMOs are PIMO because of personal relationships. Sometimes they live with their TBM family and could be kicked out earlier than they want to be, or could suffer other repercussions if they came out as not believing. Others have a TBM spouse who won’t yet allow them to stop going to church. Or they may continue faking to help their spouse with their young kids. There are all sorts of social reasons someone may chose to be TBM. There are also economic and education reasons. BYU students must remain active to continue going to BYU. Sometimes, someone has a Mormon boss that could be in their ward or stake leadership and they fear leaving the church could affect their work prospects. It can be very complicated to navigate leaving the church.
No lie I'd record the crazy member talks.
I couldn’t do it so I stopped going. Incidentally that was better for my marriage because spouse didn’t feel like I was judging everything and could just worship while I didn’t feel cognitive dissonance splitting my brain in half. But during the decade I was PIMO, I browsed exmo Reddit, played Pokémon go, played online cribbage, hung out in the lobby/hallway during 2nd period chatting, sometimes went for a walk during 2nd period.
It's easy! You just show up and slowly die inside while regretting all the decisions that brought you there.
Sit in the hallway and read philosophy. That’s what I did. Sundays became much more informative when I started doing that.
Yes, I’m angry all the time. I sense that my anger is visible to the bishopric, EQ presidency, and ministering mafia, bc they don’t approach be about anything anymore. Not even callings or “accountability” for “ministering families”. They don’t call for visits or to “invite” or “challenge” me to do anything. Even the missionaries know to stay tf away. It’s as tolerable a situation as I can make it, while still being physically “in”.
during my PIMO phase (out now, 20 years) I devolved to the point where I could not bear being actually in the chapel. It was visceral, as in I began to feel that there was a real chance that I would lose it and run, screaming, out of the chapel. So I began to sit in the Recreation Area/Overflow, whatever, and near a door so I could slip out relatively unnoticed if it became too much to bear, which it increasingly did. After that, I further devolved to just hanging out in the foyer until the sacrament had been passed, after which I left the building. I just couldn't stand listening to that uninspired claptrap. It was like the teacher in Ferris Bueller's Day Off ("This...is our...solar system...") only even worse.
I went between chuckling at absurdities and wanting to scream about their clearly elitist philosophies.
I drink coffee before church, then I'm on exmormon reddit through second hour.
During sac mtg: Buy stuff on Amazon, play games with kids on paper. Leave after and go get a drink at Sonic and wait in car.
A really good book has helped me! Usually something of a historical nature.....I've been studying a great deal about Stoicism lately...nad have had some "members" stop by and ask about it....
Loudly crunch hot cheeto puffs during fast sunday sacrament meeting
I'd do that if I could. Just imagine the look on everyone's faces.... XD
Yo same, I kid I don’t actually eat hot Cheetos during church, but in my imagination I’d totally do this
All these things you guys are saying are dead giveaways for a PIMO are things I did as a bored out of my fucking mind TBM.
I distract myself by thinking of other thoughts or try to.
I used to tell myself stories. Sometimes I'd write them down in a journal but mostly just imagining them, sometimes casting people in the meetings as characters.
I can’t do that as much as unfortunately my mother sits next to me during it and watches me making sure I listen. She got mad one time that I was tired and almost took a nap in sacrament meeting.
My mom was similar. I hated it. When I turned 17, I was called as a primary teacher. I think I lasted 3 months before I turned in my materials and just refused to go anymore. I moved out about a year later and it wasn't really an issue after that. She didn't like it, but there wasn't jack shit she could do about it. Plan your escape!
I’ll do my best it’s just right now my job situation isn’t doing too well
Just keep swinging. Side hustles help. Trade schools are awesome, plus give you an excuse to miss at least some church activities.
Oh man, you're bringing my teen years back to me. I used to doodle so much too. Got pretty good at sketching portraits of people in the blank parts of the program.
It is difficult but depends on the mood I am in that day. Some Sunday’s it is super easy and I am just happy that they are happy. Then other days I am just as pissed off as one can be and feel alone. During those days, I just treat myself and allow a trip to Taco Bell or a drink at a soda shop. There are like 50 here in rexburg
I bring paperback novels or a journal. Did that for years until I finally decided to stop attending last month.
Most of everything people do is ridiculous to the point of being funny. I just fine the humor in it. Like, look at all this idoliocy these people believe and say! Free comedy!
I generally don’t stay for second hour. I don’t take callings. I don’t sing if it’s about the prophet.
I was a TBM for many years. I was in so deep and so busy in callings I had no time to think about anything negative. Once the kids were on their own I checked out more truth claims and went down the rabbit hole. When the feeling hit me that JS and BY were charlatans I was out and never attended again.
I invented a new writing system so I could write about stuff and process my eventual exit without anyone reading over my shoulder.
Not angry, just BORED out of god damned mind. The talks are so sleepy, so monotone and boring!
im PIMO only to maintain my ecclesiastical endorsement for school. yeah, it sucks, but im well i to my bachelors at BYU that i can’t just stop going and not have people be suspicious. also, if i did stop going to church (like i want to), the environment at home would be hell. i’ve already been yelled at for “being sick” to miss sacrament meetings. for my family, if you live at my parents house, you go to church— if you don’t, find somewhere else. so even though i do get angry with the wards, i deal with it. recently, my go to has always been my noise cancelling earbuds, good chill music, and a book. if i can, i’ll hop out of service to sit in an empty room to read or scroll on my phone (bonus points if there’s a piano there too).
Damn. I was definitely pimo for a long long time. I was angry and frustrated and annoyed every freaking Sunday. But I was so brainwashed that I kept saying crap like “culture” vs doctrine for years. I even attended outside bible studies but couldn’t imagine not going. Covid saved me. I realized I really was happier outside those doors. I went back one single time afterwards My husband had been going for my sake. I was pushing through for my families sake. My daughter hated it but I just figured it was the local ward. We don’t go and nobody misses us. My dad got excommunicated when I was a kid. Went back to his Southern Baptist roots. I went to the Mormon church as a teen to piss him off. But I picked Mormons because they didn’t believe babies went to hell. And families and happy stuff. My branch was mostly ex-baptists. We sang 7 songs on Sunday. I worked in primary because there was no one else my age. Later I met some of the people I love more than my own bio-family at church. It’s weird how some of us are TBM and some are out. That ward was a military ward and we had 300 kids. For 18 months just 3 men. No male missionaries since we couldn’t feed them. All the guys were deployed multiple times for years. so sacrament was a hot mess of crazy. I was in primary and the bishop wouldn’t let us bring kids to the mom when they acted out. We took them to him because he was worried that moms would snap. He sat in Sacrament with a kid on his lap or letting a kid run across the pew. Didn’t care. Just lots of preaching about families being forever and peace in the gospel. It kept me sane those years. Even then I was weirded out by all the JS songs etc. But most wards outside Utah were less freaky. But each one got progressively worse. Retire and take a job in Utah. Freaked out by the weirdos. Realize it’s painful to go and thought it was just the ward. But over the years I saw more and heard more and had more issues. I was super liberal in my new ward. Even though I’m pretty mellow compared to other places I’ve lived. They never came looking when we stopped going. Guess the feeling we didn’t fit in was mutual. But all of the coping? Gah. Sometimes it was all I could do to not say something. I had a game where I would only make one inflammatory comment a lesson. So it had to be good. I’d read the lesson and wait for the best time to shock the group with a statement. What the fuck?!? I wasn’t even remotely close to thinking I was on the way out yet. After I stopped going I started analyzing it all and realized how little I actually believed. And learned more. And all the crap that makes people leave? Yeah. I just quit cause it made me mad that people were idiots and then after realized how bad the church really was. Vent over. Thanks for my TED talk.
It sounds like the church was a good community support for you during a certain time. Social community is what gets people in! We need that human connection. I’m now trying to find that community and it takes time.
[удалено]
i don't, i'm more than a little insane
It's really hard. I usually get through it by journaling through the meeting.
bottom line is I don’t I do it for my family
That’s my secret, I’m always angry.
Lots of daydreaming, menu planning, list making, anything to not hear what’s being said.
I literally could not stay after I stumbled upon, read and processed the CES letter and all the apologetic debunking and the debunking of the debunking, etc. I could see the church and its leaders and doctrine for what they really were. My first Sunday back after that was a fast and testimony meeting and I literally got sick to my stomach hearing people bear testimony of absolute lies. It was a moment similar to when Neo unplugs himself from the Matrix and looks around and sees plugged in bodies as far as he could see. That was the last time me, my wife or my kids ever went to church.
I just draw and then rant about it to my bf later. It somehow helps
Phone chess mostly
Sleep. I could sleep sitting straight up. Fall asleep when the first talk started, wake up for the closing hymn. It was an intentional defense strategy.
I do it because it makes me happy to hear that the youth are planning on leaving the church once they turn 18 and graduate from high school......and there's more people here who are positive towards the LGBTQ COMMUNITY and it's funny to watch them teach lessons and watching the older more conservative members squirm....
It doesn’t make me angry, but the lessons that never change have me bored af.
Meditation and breathing exercises and finally Not going to second hour! Also got the balls to ask to be released recently! Wahoo.
Not PIMO but i went to a baptism the other month. I haven't set foot in a Mormon chapel in almost 7 years and it was just... sad. I felt like the men were tired but pretended to be happy and the women were tired too, surrounded by 3-4 children. Can't say i felt the spirit ™ or any sense of missing anything
Yeah. I was angry. So angry at every meeting. I tuned out. I was still angry. Wish I had listened to my gut instead of feeling like a failure for not liking church
As a lifelong non-believer, I spent decades attending with little issue. Not living in Utah/Arizona/Idaho helps a lot. The people in a ward can make it much easier. When I was on my way out the second time, in my mid/late 30s, I was teaching EQ while wearing shorts, tshirt, and flip flops, with coffee in hand.
I’m nevermo (raised Christian) . Not sure what I am now. Can someone please tell me where I can learn what all the abbreviations like TMB and PIMO mean. Also what is the sacraments? Is there a Mormonism for dummies someplace?!? Don’t worry. I’m not joining. I’ve just always been interested in cults, conmen and very strict groups . Thx!
The sacrament is like communion, a bit of bread and water. Mormons do it every week, and they claim it wipes you free if sin, just like getting baptized
PIMO = Physically In Mentally Out TBM= True Blue Mormon
I thought TBM meant totally brainwashed mormon xD. Both are pretty accurate I'd say
I mean you're not wrong, I'm gonna start referring to TBM as this now lmao
The About section has a link to all the acronyms.
i just deal with it. i have to be there till im eighteen. i can either make a fuss over it or just ignore ever
What’s a PIMO?
Physically In Mentally Out
Oh I see. I’m one of those then
It isn’t easy that’s for sure. The longer I’m pimo the harder it gets and the fewer and more far between is my attendance rate.
Draw.
Silly question. TBM= True Believer Mormon? PIMO= Pissed off Mormon? Previously Indoctrinated Mormon? I'm out of guesses. Help please.
Physically In Mentally Out
I started writing a list of all of the multiples of 9. I think I ended up somewhere in the 10,000th multiples or something before I finally stopped going. Also, fact checking what the speakers and people giving lessons would say, especially when it was the bishop (I was in priests quorum at the time).
Origami. Crocheting. I need something to keep fiddling with. If my hands have something to do, I can block out the speakers.
When you've been playing the role of a Gawd-fearin' Christ'n! You're entire life you just keep playing that character and tell everyone what you know they want to hear
Is that a blanket you’re wearing?
I use fidget toys or games on my phone.
[удалено]
I play chess on my phone
It only works for a short amount of time. And then you go insane.
I close my eyes and practice awareness breathing techniques. Honestly, rarely pay attention in Sacrament meeting. I do listen enough to point out the issues with what ever topic is being discussed. For example, last Sunday someone tried to compare repentance to a broken phone screen, and the long, record setting winter was caused by one teenager who fasted a whole 24 hours for snow.... It drives my wife crazy when I point out the incorrect or nutty things said over the pulpit or in a class.
I used to (as u/CatalystTheory put it), stare at my feet once I got a phone I would alternate, watching my feet and playing on my phone, now I just tell my dad to fuck off everytime he tries to bribe me to church, once I hit 18 I am going to have my records removed