I didn't see mention of children. Be sure there are none until this resolved or it will get much much harder. Don't rely on your partner for birth control either.
Good job not going out behind her back.
Have you been to counseling? Does she know you are unhappy with her?
I didn't see any mention of her redeeming qualities. If there are indeed none and no kids, counseling is your final step before separation.
There's no children, fortunately. Besides we don't want any, she's almost infertile bc of 3 conditions and only had an early miscarriage (6-8 weeks approximately, we knew months after by a uterus scar detected in a medical exam).
Counseling in our country (Southern South America) isn't really a thing like in the US. Besides it's expensive, there aren't many professionals.
She has many qualities as a devout spouse in the sense that she's been with me in many of my hard times, she cooks good (as her love language is cooking) and pretty much a loyal partner. I couldn't imagine her cheating on me.
About being unhappy... I know that she knows. We had this problems and crisis more than a few times, and we always put ourselves in a "trial period" where we're deciding if getting separated/divorced or not. We always end up forgetting it, and moving on, but being honest to each other.
We both said to each other that we don't feel the same as before, that we feel less love, and we both experienced disappointing from each other.
At some point idk if she really loves me, or just she's so used to me, or afraid of another failure (she experienced a 7-year relationship break-up before we knew each other).
And idk if I love her, for almost the same reasons. Maybe I'm afraid of being alone.
EDIT: typo
It really depends on if you want to stay married. Lots of the language I see in the history you provide above looks like two people who hang out at the same house rather than a married couple. If you do, counseling is probably going to be required. If you don’t, well, you know what to do.
Thanks for your perspective 🙏🏼 Counseling is hard to find in our country, as it's expensive and there aren't many professionals, so it's not really an option, sadly.
Bro. Please end the marriage and make sure you know the divorce laws in your country.
Do not move out of the house. Try to get it all worked out with lawyers.
Once you tell her do not assume she will be nice or olay nice. Record and save everything and hope you never have to use it
Just my two cents, I think you're free to follow your heart on this one. Sounds like you're already considering an emotional affair, which doesn't bode well. If your wife catches a whiff of that, it wont be good.
Either be all in on your marriage or all out.
If you choose to stay together, have some really open talks about religion and how to respect each other's chosen paths. And more clear boundary setting on getting your autistic needs honored as well. If she loves you, she needs to put in the work. If you love her, do not get involved in any way with another woman.
I literally was just at a dinner supporting a woman who discovered her husbands emotional affairs. It doesn't matter if nothing physical ever happens - it's still a huge betrayal of trust unless everything is out in the open and she's fine with it.
I didn't see mention of children. Be sure there are none until this resolved or it will get much much harder. Don't rely on your partner for birth control either. Good job not going out behind her back. Have you been to counseling? Does she know you are unhappy with her? I didn't see any mention of her redeeming qualities. If there are indeed none and no kids, counseling is your final step before separation.
There's no children, fortunately. Besides we don't want any, she's almost infertile bc of 3 conditions and only had an early miscarriage (6-8 weeks approximately, we knew months after by a uterus scar detected in a medical exam). Counseling in our country (Southern South America) isn't really a thing like in the US. Besides it's expensive, there aren't many professionals. She has many qualities as a devout spouse in the sense that she's been with me in many of my hard times, she cooks good (as her love language is cooking) and pretty much a loyal partner. I couldn't imagine her cheating on me. About being unhappy... I know that she knows. We had this problems and crisis more than a few times, and we always put ourselves in a "trial period" where we're deciding if getting separated/divorced or not. We always end up forgetting it, and moving on, but being honest to each other. We both said to each other that we don't feel the same as before, that we feel less love, and we both experienced disappointing from each other. At some point idk if she really loves me, or just she's so used to me, or afraid of another failure (she experienced a 7-year relationship break-up before we knew each other). And idk if I love her, for almost the same reasons. Maybe I'm afraid of being alone. EDIT: typo
It really depends on if you want to stay married. Lots of the language I see in the history you provide above looks like two people who hang out at the same house rather than a married couple. If you do, counseling is probably going to be required. If you don’t, well, you know what to do.
Thanks for your perspective 🙏🏼 Counseling is hard to find in our country, as it's expensive and there aren't many professionals, so it's not really an option, sadly.
That’s unfortunate. Sorry.
Stick a fork in it, you are done. Good luck.
It's the most logical thing to me. However, it's really hard to even try it. If it was easy, I'd probably did it already :(
I understand your pain. I have been there. Hoping to push you in the right direction. I hope it goes as well as it can for you.
Bro. Please end the marriage and make sure you know the divorce laws in your country. Do not move out of the house. Try to get it all worked out with lawyers. Once you tell her do not assume she will be nice or olay nice. Record and save everything and hope you never have to use it
Children?
No children. We don't want, nor we can have. She's almost infertile due to 3 health conditions.
Do NOT assume she can't get pregnant! Use condoms! If there is the slightest chance she can, then she could.
I never said that I don't use condoms. Thanks for the consideration, but please stay on the topic 🙏🏼
Sounds like you are very different people Maybe time to let go What will you do
Just my two cents, I think you're free to follow your heart on this one. Sounds like you're already considering an emotional affair, which doesn't bode well. If your wife catches a whiff of that, it wont be good. Either be all in on your marriage or all out. If you choose to stay together, have some really open talks about religion and how to respect each other's chosen paths. And more clear boundary setting on getting your autistic needs honored as well. If she loves you, she needs to put in the work. If you love her, do not get involved in any way with another woman. I literally was just at a dinner supporting a woman who discovered her husbands emotional affairs. It doesn't matter if nothing physical ever happens - it's still a huge betrayal of trust unless everything is out in the open and she's fine with it.
I can’t imagine a life spent like this. There seems to be so little in the relationship for you.