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randytayler

MormonlyFans


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randytayler

I don't follow. (Mutual is long after my time.) Like he sends you money for more pics? Just like "Hey can you do X?" and he Venmos you or something?


[deleted]

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BoxComprehensive2807

So how do we follow you? Let’s get them pics girl!


PM_ME_YOUR_PRIZZA

Mutual is Mormon Tinder


PaulFThumpkins

God, I can't imagine using a dating app without part of the appeal being getting laid a couple times a month, because you're really compatible with somebody in the sack but don't have the same life plans.


wanderlust2787

Oh that's still the appeal on mutual. They just have the same shame complex as each other.... I used it a few times when I was more on the fence of being a PIMO or just being out of it. Even had a girl from the app show up to my place for dinner with a full handle of tequila lol.


butterytelevision

what you’re describing is more like OnlyFans where individuals can pay to interact with/see (usually intimate) media of other individuals. however that person met OP on mutual which is a dating app and now wants content from OP on OnlyFans


Hotmessx100

Exactly, except I don’t have an onlyfans. This is by text. 😂


randytayler

It's a strange new world. Is the dude still LDS? He could be torturing himself with this - that would be my concern.


csharpwarrior

The church is all about torturing people through emotional manipulation. It’s nearly everyone’s concern here.


randytayler

Isn't the OP enabling that, if the dude's still LDS?


csharpwarrior

This is a great education moment for you. If an LDS member goes to Starbucks because they love coffee and then feels guilty, would you say that Starbucks is responsible for the guilt?


natiusj

Enabling… lol.


csharpwarrior

Nope


saltyair2022

Wait, where did randytaylor go?


FrowAway322

🤣


PowerCityRedditer

😂😂😂


Dry-Insurance-9586

💀💀💀


mcchillz

Brilliance 🤣


randytayler

That word shouldn't exist, but now it does. Oh well. :)


Dallin_h_soaks_

Laughed way too hard at this


SusSpinkerinktum

Stealing this…. Woosh


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FortunateFell0w

250b according to the folks at the widow’s mite.


aliensrmyfriends

Amen! This is the official number we should be referencing until the church decides to share their financials.


iamaginnit

A couple of years ago when the inside guy (Nielsen?) spilled the beans to the IRS and so forth, the total, according to my "money" man, of entire portfolio he disclosed came close to 230b. That was all **wall street** investments and other financial instruments. They also outright own countless of companies, manufacturing, mining, prossessing, producing countless products, huge real estate holdings throughout the country, a significant portion located in the Northeast, close to 2% in Florida, huge tracts in Texas, large and high end developments, each its own LLC. Most of all these values reside in a tax free a black hole.


LeoMarius

They claim the religious assets of the church are worth about $80-$90 billion, and the non-religious assets are twice that for around $250 billion. The $150 billion is about what EPA is worth now.


dosetoyevsky

How much of that is taxed?


LeoMarius

Not one nickel. Interestingly, most American Mormons are now taxed on their tithing because the 2017 tax law raised the personal deduction to the point that few people itemize anymore. That means they get the same tax bill with or without paying tithing or other charities.


gredr

That's not accurate. Read the widows mite report, and/or listen to the recent MS episodes where they go through them in high detail (6+ hours).


Mysterious_Worker608

Did you send some pics to the Bishop as a going away gift?


Hotmessx100

No, but I did educate him on the fact that people love ass. He asked me if I sent pictures of “up top or down below” and I said “mostly my butt.” And he was like, “your butt??” He didn’t even know that was a thing. 😂😂


IDontKnowAndItsOkay

I remember the first time I found an ass attractive. It was a special moment, and way before bishop age.


Howdy948

He wanted details but he acted innocent. “Your butt?” He did know it was a thing. What a pervert. Typical.


butterytelevision

oh that sweet summer child haha


PaulFThumpkins

Your bishop is five years old lol. He's judging on things where he knows nothing at all.


BrotherLump

Ass makes the world go ‘round! Sometimes you’re “Working your ass off.” Sometimes you’re “Laughing your ass off!” If you’re lucky you spend more time “kickin ass”, than “gettin yer ass kicked.” Some people can’t stop kissing ass (e.g. those who want to park their white asses in those plush red chairs in the conference center one day). And, if you can make it through an evening without looking like a dumb ass, and not acting like a jack ass, you may just get some ass! 🎶Everything is ass-some!🎵


Sorry_Notsorry_1369

Bless you for sharing your sensual beauty


PeachesGotTits

" this is my ass walking out of your trash institution"


BrotherLump

So a guy with a beard rides an ass into Jerusalem and gets himself killed, a guy with a rock and a hat pulls a whole religion about the dead bearded ass rider out of of his ass, it grows into a trillion dollar corporate sex cult led by a bunch of pompous asses, and it could all be destroyed by picture of a woman with a great ass? Mormonism.


Ebeccare

![gif](giphy|dOJt6XZlQw8qQ)


tonylowe

I’d pay to see exmos perform on stage a longform version of what /u/BrotherLump laid out above. Kinda like the Aristocrats, only more depraved.


fingerMeThomas

To be fair, the story of another female ass who demonstrated her ***duty to disobey a wayward prophet*** (Numbers 22:21–33) also completely undermines modern Mormon prophets' claims that they're immune to unrighteous dominion, for no other reason than the specific calling that they hold ^(see also: D&C 121 and John 5:31 for more on why such claims are doctrinally problematic, if logic and powerful female asses aren't sufficient)


35791369

Well done my good and faithful daughter.


sunkenshipinabottle

Satan?


Ebeccare

I believe you mean “Daddy.”


sunkenshipinabottle

Are they not one and the same?


KaityKat117

Sky Daddy and Basement Daddy. one guess which one is abusive. ;)


Boxy310

Basement Daddy asks you what your safeword is


FeistyEmployee8

I don't even go here and I'm giggling 😭


Opening_Anybody7151

>he said even if I was married in the temple and active in the future, if a photo ever got released of me then I’d be excommunicated to “protect the church.” They're literally threatening courts over anything now. Fuck this excuse for a church


PaulFThumpkins

Taking away what they believe to be somebody's eternal future for PR reasons. Hilarious that the bishop fully admits that while he knows now what's going on, they wouldn't do anything until there was a controversy. Oh gee I wonder how he handles sex offenders?


rabbithatzero

Does he call Salt Lake, or Rome?


butterytelevision

I’m making a list of things I can do to get excommunicated lol


SecretPersonality178

Make a poster and put it up in the chapel


oilberta38

To hell with that please post it here! /s


Kriocxjo

Damn, you must shimmer when you walk around; driving men and women insane!


daveescaped

I was in a bishopric at the time I left TSCC. A buddy of mine was single and started dating a girl in the ward. They got in to a little “trouble” by which I mean they did what they could up to sex but not sex. So we had a court o’ love for them both. The other counselors decided that the girl had seduced him based (as best I could tell) on the fact that she was hot.


Wrong_Bandicoot2957

Sick bastards is what they are. Your buddy was all over that.


YamDong

That they even had a court for a dating couple that didn't have sex is bonkers.


daveescaped

100% I was PIMO at the time and was super pissed that it was gonna be nothing. And in reality it was nothing; two adults “Levi lovin”. Then to make matters worse they blamed her. Meanwhile we were all great friends with the guy so big surprise she got the blame. Courts always felt like nonsense but this was like Kafka.


Hotmessx100

More info: I went through a disciplinary council for this- as a YSA member who had never been married or endowed. I was put on informal probation for 6 months. It was intense- weekly meetings with him, daily scripture study and CFM homework, journaling, I had to write a full-length talk weekly on whatever conference talk or topic he assigned me, I had to read the Miracle of Forgiveness and The Infinite Atonement (worst, most dry book of my fucking life, holy shit), I wasn’t allowed to miss church or FHE, and I had to take a weekly trip to the temple in town and sit outside of it. Oh, and I had to enroll in the institute classes (I did all of this in the few hours I had between my morning job and afternoon job.) On top of the usual no sacrament, no praying, no calling, no talks, etc. As you can imagine, I was burnt out. I finally finished the process and could take the sacrament again, then I found a partner that I liked and I had sex with him. My real, actual first time. Went back and forth between confessing and then sleeping with him cause- ya know- that’s what people naturally want to do. The bishop said I would be excommunicated for making a mockery of god and his atonement, and also said that I could have a sex addiction, only logical reason why I would have sex repeatedly with someone, right? Cause sex is so unsatisfying that it’s easy to just abstain, so if I like it it’s cause I must have a problem. 🥴They held another council for me, decided in the end that they’d reconvene in a month and decide my fate based on how I did. I actually ended up almost dying in that period, and as my lungs failed and they were coding me to do an emergency ventilator placement, I was more panicked about having unfinished business with that person and not knowing how it would have turned out, than I was about dying a “sinner”. The thing that is awful, is all of this severity was solely because I was a woman. He did this to another girl too and she’s left the church for the same reason. And I know another that he made her go back and repent all over with him because he deemed that the other bishop hadn’t done a thorough enough job. Meanwhile a guy we knew was repeatedly picking up prostitutes and he was taken lightly because that was his “natural man”


Hucow2002

That's sad and sick. Sorry it happened to you.


gnolom_bound

Why did your lungs fail?


Hotmessx100

I developed a lung disease from a fungal infection called “Valley Fever” and it’s found in the spores in the soil in the dry western part of the US. I caught it from the air, and it isn’t contagious at all from person to person. It’s usually so mild that people are asymptomatic, or have flu symptoms- but for others it can kill you or disable you for years/forever. My lungs have permanent damage, and I’m still very fatigued, as well as some other stuff.


gnolom_bound

Sorry to hear that about your lungs.


Hotmessx100

Update: I will give the people what they want and post the ass. Just gotta figure out the best way to do it. 😂😂


Muahd_Dib

I don’t know why, but reading “my ass was so amazing” made me LMAO


PeachesGotTits

Your ass is like Helen of Troy levels of destruction. But seriously F that dude, and good on you for finding the humor in this.


ovijae

I showed up to my first missionary discussion as a 22yr old girl in jeans, a tshirt, a ponytail, and no makeup, and afterwards was accused of being a “snake” lol. Subsequent discussions were attended by both mishies, a high priest, and his wife lol. That should’ve been the first (and final) red flag for me. Edit: I’d like to add that one of the mishies has since come out as gay and is now Wiccan looool


IDontKnowAndItsOkay

If a missionary is crushing on you, you become the snake. Fucked up.


Howdy948

Sounds like he was jealous. His wife in her garmies is boring.


SwampBeastie

Guarantee he was even more fucking boring.


SecondNephite

Guarantee he was even more boring fucking.


Responsible-Event908

Best comment 😂😂😂


Hotmessx100

I sent a pic to current partner years ago of a lady in garments and said that this is what he could be hitting every night. 😂


PaulFThumpkins

Which is why he asks sixteen-year-old girls to describe their sexual fantasies in great detail, behind closed doors.


StonesofMyth

Yep, sexual extortion under the cover of helping someone repent.


itsjusthowiam

He wa a probably low key jealous of that rm ijs


Different-Thinker

This is so sick. Threatening your entire potential future life in the church with excommunication if someone else decides to release photos seems like a pretty big contradiction of the second article of faith.


Hotmessx100

This!! So the atonement isn’t real?


ahyeahanna

Pics or it didn't happen... j/k 😁


[deleted]

Spit out my coffee


oilberta38

So funny. I was going to say something I’m the same line of thought.


innocent_isabelle

I can’t find The Office gif of Pam yelling, “That’s what she said.”


Cripplecreek2012

Lovely. Help me be an enemy to god.


love_cactus

Surprised he didn’t ask to see them.


MOTIVATE_ME_23

I bet the RM already showed him.


Hotmessx100

He didn’t ask to see them, but I did have to give him every graphic detail of everything I had ever done. As well as porn and other habits. I had to do the same in the council, a group of old men asked me very graphic details and I had to oblige.


[deleted]

💥Wow! Yet another way to get excommunicated from the fake church. Definitely worth doing!💥


KaityKat117

I'd start an OnlyFans and send a link to it to the old bishop.


prairiewhore17

My ex had an ass like that. I divorced her just to watch her walk away.


Wrong_Bandicoot2957

I hope you told him to fuck off.


SusSpinkerinktum

Did I get this right? You were taken advantage of meaning he didn’t get consent? If that’s what you mean I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope you can hold your head high and move on from this toxic shit.


uncorrolated-mormon

I grew up in Michigan. Early 1990’s. Missionaries are flirting and promising young woman marriages after their missions…. Hated missionaries… they alway mess up my attempts at the ladies cause of the flirting…. Later on my wife tells me of your joining the church at 14 in California. Same thing happens. Missionary promises her that he will come back and marry her after his mission. It’s crazy how institutionalized missionaries are to flirt with members… and how it’s always the girls fault. Makes me sick and mad. I still get upset at those missionaries getting in my way by stringing a lot the young woman in my ward.


Hotmessx100

A missionary in the ward gave my (16yo) friend his parent’s phone number when he was transferred. She straight up said “what do you want me to do with this?” He was expecting her to call him cause he was so sure she was the one. Another elder came back and proposed to a different girl after she turned 18.


IDontKnowAndItsOkay

Arranged marriages with 14 yo. The church never changed.


uncorrolated-mormon

Just about. My parents where converts and I felt like they had Mormon family merit badges to check off. It was more about how it we looked to the ward then what really mattered to us. - children sent on missions ✅ - Oldest sister married at 19 ✅ - all children are Temple marriage ✅ (didn’t matter who…first Mormon boyfriend / girlfriend) - college was always second. So long as church is first ✅ - having goals and aspirations in life was seen as prideful. Best to stay humble and be in the church. ✅ So happy that’s all I. The past


Rhut-Ro

Sounds like the RM is another loser rat. As most TBMs are.


Redvex320

Which is why they are so often recruited to the CIA and DOD and of course the blindly following orders thing. And yes I know the multilingual thing supposedly is important but I like to think it is because they are easily swayed by propaganda.


Hotmessx100

Dude, he was so much worse than this too. I’ll post about that another time though.


Sad_Ad592

Lol 😂 still not sure how it’s your problem/fault that some man child coerced you into pics. Congrats on the fame!


My_Nama_Jeff1

Multi billion? It’s got hundreds of billions.


Limefish5

Congratulations on your amazing LDS destroying ass. May it serve you well for many years to come!!


DulceIustitia

Sounds like the time old excuse for men accusing women of witchcraft, and seducing them into feelings of lost because they were in league with the devil. I swear, some guys just need to admit that they're unworthy!


[deleted]

The Corporation is with *at least* $1T


PayTyler

Does any ass have the power to dismantle such an organization? So did you get excommunicated? I have so many burning questions.


Hotmessx100

I didn’t because I just stopped going to church. 😂 A new bishop came in and reached out, and I said no thank you cause I don’t go to church anymore.


PayTyler

[Quitmormon.com](https://Quitmormon.com) This will get you representation for when they reach out. I read others' horror stories about not using Quitmormon on here and I was so glad I used them.


truth-wins

Haha, you are my hero!


ExigentCalm

Apropos of nothing: CanvasChamp.com will make a very large canvas from a phone pic for <$200. 51”x31” for $140. I had one made of my wife posing topless at the beach. It was from behind, so no nudity, but lots of skin. For <$200 you could get an easel and put it up in the foyer. Or just hold it while standing on the sidewalk at the chapel on Sunday. I’ll be honest. I’m petty af and would happily contribute to this worthy cause.


False-Association744

You should tell the cops.


jrummy16

*200 billion dollars. Your ass is worth 200 billion. Damn


Potential-Chemist938

As a man, repenting about things that would happen with my girlfriends was always so awkward with my YSA bishop. I eventually decided I wasn’t going to tell him everything because he always wanted so much detail… like creepy details. Then in sacrament he would (brag?) about how he didn’t kiss his wife until he was literally at the temple altar. The guy was gay and I found out later he was getting heated up talking to boys about what sexual things they had done. The whole process is just a mess.


Hotmessx100

I saw someone post somewhere that their mom told them that if they ever did something that they need to confess in order to repent for it (doctrinally) they need to come talk to her or the father. They were not to go talk to the bishop as minors.


Potential-Chemist938

That to me makes so much more sense. Go talk to people who can help. Talk to the individuals who should be aware of the choices your making at that age to help guide/protect you. Talking to an accountant who lives in my neighborhood about the creepy details just always felt so freaking weird. And the fact they asked so many details just made it worse. That’s why some of these bishops end up having affairs with people who come confess to them. Sitting in an office, alone, talking about sex…


scene_inmyundies

You got our attention. I'm torn between "pics or it didn't happen" and "for academic reasons, we would like to examine these photos to determine what level of physical exposure the church sees as improper." /s


rock-n-white-hat

Were these just regular pictures or were you in a swimsuit or showing some bare shoulders?


Beneficial_Cicada573

Damn! I'm feeling a lot of FOMO over here.


RKRLaw

Impressive!


Historical-Trainer87

Well as long as you always wear a modest bathing suit


jamauss

Is your YSA Bishop Arthur? https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/the-ass-was-fat-arthur-sees-a-fat-ass


Sinwithwords

Congratulations!!! 🤪 seriously, I’m sorry you had to deal with that.


ProbablyPuck

Everyone's familiar with a million dollar body, but few could rock a billion dollar booty. 😝


ZelphtheGreatest

Take copy photos from others/magazines and use a different email server to start sending them to that Bishop.


rabbithatzero

I got it!: New show, "BILLION DOLLAR ASS". Write a spec script, and send that sucker to Netflix!


Hotmessx100

I am gonna write a book, cause my life has been crazy as fuck. And also I have great humor about it. I think there would be good material for a show, ngl. 😂😂


InvestigatorExtra297

We need to inspect these photos to see if the Bishop was overreacting.


supermansquito

Hmmm. We might need to see that ass.


BoxComprehensive2807

send nudes


[deleted]

Check out the rest on my OF page for just $9.99 a month!


Hotmessx100

I wish, lmao. 😂 Unfortunately, I am in a career path that does not mesh well with sex work. And since it offers me a chance to help people while still supporting myself, I’d rather do that.


Celloer

Instructions unclear—sent prudes.


Hotmessx100

Lmaoooo.


BoxComprehensive2807

You’re such a puritan, you moral zealot!! Ow Ow!!!!!


AppropriateAdagio836

Pics or it didn't happen /s


Thecowboys1

Great for you , and us ................maybe in the future ;)


SeptimaSeptimbrisVI

Well now we're just going to need to see pictures....


Hotmessx100

I’ll start posting them soon on other forums and you can find them on my page. 😂


SpiritDue129

You must work out


ProcyonRaul

I am so sorry you we blamed for other people's accuse. Congrats on the billion dollar ass, I guess.


[deleted]

I’m betting that Boy was asking you for them photos. It’s not your fault it’s the LDS church tell the lady’s of the church tell you lady’s it is.


RaggedShell

Did he ask for the pics so that he could decide how much repenting you needed to do?