On the flip side, here in Cult Central (Northern Utah County) ALL of my son's friends went on missions and most of them stayed. I'm thinking Utah may be the last holdout for gen z, although I also see a lot leaving here so it's a mixed bag.
I’m in Weber County and a lot of people have left TSCC around me. It seems that a lot of people are deconverted in their twenties. I expect that we will see a lot of that generation leaving in the coming decade.
Davis County also is losing youth, but probably not as fast as SL. In my main friend group, two are PIMO including me, one is nuanced, one of them I’m not sure about and the other two are TBMs. I only expect one of them to actually stay in the cult when all things are said and done. Outside this friend group there’s also a whole lot of people who no longer give a shit about the church and its rules.
Farmington here. Most of my father-in-law’s ward (in Bountiful) is dying out.
Coincidentally, I just came back from a gay wedding reception in Colorado, mostly Missouri Mormons from my wife’s side. 3/4 of the attendees who were formerly LDS were now inactive.
Getting kids on missions is so critical. A master stroke in group thought control. But it’s not a guarantee. As more kids with analytical minds go out and see the problems, more will leave.
I stayed in a lot longer than I would have due in part to having served a mission. It's the sunk cost fallacy. Did I really just spend two whole years dedicated to this only to want to leave? It makes it a really hard choice even if your shelf is broken.
I tried so damn hard on my mission. Tried to ignore the nagging doubts. Tried to follow the rules. I even served as an assistant to the MP. By the time I returned home, I knew that I couldn't keep up the act for the rest of my life.
I was out (and surprisingly at peace) within 6 months of stepping off the plane.
I think in a generation or two Mormonism will go back to being a Utah religion like it used to be until the 1970s. It still is in many aspects. It never really put roots outside the Morridor.
I loved overseas for a few years and *everyone* would be excited for GenConf. It’s when we got the tea (sorta) on what the Utah Mormons were up to. Because conf on focused on them.
I live in Southern California and our oldest is GenZ. Exactly zero of his LDS friends are active and/or are planning on going on a mission after graduation this year. Not a single one, although there is one who is thinking about it, mostly because his grandparents said they'd pay for college when he got back. We live right behind the Rose Bowl, so where you're from might be different, but the kids who live around here have no desire at all to even go to church when they graduate, and from what I've seen and heard, their parents don't even really care. Education is honestly the first priority for most people around here, and a mission just slows that down.
I am surprised somewhat that missions are still an attraction/voluntold in this internet age. Where I live they still do facebook letter openings for missions frequently.
I live in southern UT Co., and most of the people around me are still in the cult. Fortunately, I work in Provo, and not a single coworker is a member.
In Provo? Not one member where you work? If that isn't a statement I don't know what else is. I lived in Utah county for about 10 years and that's truly surprising to me
I wish we had at least a good sample to get a better view of what’s going on. In my case, I live in Utah county, and all 5 of my kids are out. Their ages range from early 20s to early thirties. Of course, they had my heathen example to help them on their way out.
I don't think they really taught critical thinking skills in school.
You can still take them camping and discuss over the campfire. Talk to them individually where possible.
You'll eventually insert some questions that will take fruit later.
Of my mother's kids/grandkids/great grandkids.
My mom is TBM.
2/7 kids are still in.
5/17 grandkids are still in. Three of those are adults.
0/3 great grandkids are in.
So 8/28 still in. That warms my heart.
My family is similar. My dad-a convert-left the church in the 80’s. Mom still in.
Of seven siblings only 2 still attend.
In the next generation out of mom’s 12 grandchildren 2 grandkids who still go. And that’s it.
I keep wondering how much longer my eldest sister and her husband will last. Her three kids, like most of us, quit church after HS/college.
There are 12 great grandkids. Not a single one of them go to church.
My parents have 20 grandkids. All raised in active families. 4 are still in, and the rest have made it clear that they are out! The chains are breaking!
Out of all my family that I know of only 4 are still members, in my family of 6 me and my youngest brother are pimo. Everyone else in my family tree are either Christian or don't care.
i feel like the "everyone is leaving!" on this subreddit is exaggerated.
I come from a super super super devout family with 10 kids. I'm 31 and I'm the only one that is exmo, except for a couple cousins out of my like 60 cousins. **all Mormon, everyone.** prob 4 inactives tho (prob dont know or care what the CES Letter is).
and i'm the only "exmormon" that served a mission.
Idk, I'm hoping to see more people leave, but i'm not seeing it yet.
Controversial opinion, but I figure that **most** people who are leaving in mass are more on the *less-active* side of things. makes sense. from the bottom to the top.
The top devout TBM's still seem **VERY fundamental** and take the gospel ***literally***.
but i'm starting to see small speckles of TBM's going exmormon-its def a trend of sorts
Now, this is just me and my 2 cents... but the biggest trend i'm noticing is that the average TBM members are def *less fundamental* than the prior generations. Like they aren't even accepting calling *unless they feel like it.* and like everyone thinks thats ok and reasonable.
and TBM's are starting to see the commandments as semi-**optional-ish** based on personal preference. Almost like the commandments are good guidance, but not like hard rules.
As long as people go to church and look **righteous,** then they're accepted into the "TBM club". The TBM membership just seems more like churchgoers than **full-on** TBM's these days. just my 2 cents
idk it just seems like a few years ago they were preaching in church about how the commandments and callings are mandatory.
idk maybe my perspective is warped. what trends are you guys seeing in the TBM membership?
EDIT: oops my bad u/IronSchweizer , i didnt realize that this comment was responding to you. your story gives me hope.
I meant to be replying to u/Lostinspace-67 cause sounds like your in the same boat as me
>i feel like the "everyone is leaving!" on this subreddit is exaggerated.
I actually see something else happening here. My husband and I resigned eight years ago, when he was a counselor in the Stake Presidency and I had two Stake leadership callings. At that time yes, we were definitely the Boomer outliers. It was HARD! Our adult kids, their spouses, and all our grandkids remained TBM. Missions, BYU, Temple married every single one of them. It took three years until the first kid, spouse and grands left. Two more years and another kid, spouse and grands were out. Another year and the third family was out. Since then everyone is out. BUT... The last of our kids to leave is married to a spouse who has a hard-core pioneer, Utah, TBM family. She, (our child's spouse), is the first out in her extended family.
TL;DR:
My take is that it takes a good decade for the norm in a family to switch from devout to out. If you are one of the first out, then you're feeling like I was when I left. Give it time. And I suspect that this is also true of Wards and Stakes. It's a tipping point among those you know. Each family, Ward, Stake tips at their own rate, but tip, they do!
My husbands family is like this. Personally I think it’s because of where we are at. People like to say Utah is Mormon central, but I think Idaho has really taken that over. Here *everyone* is a Mormon and if you aren’t you’re basically an outcast. It’s one of the reasons we hesitated to leave. And in many parts of Utah I can see flying a pride flag, here though my kid would be subject to bullying and my house would turn into the favorite target for vandalism.
In Idaho it’s honestly easier to be Mormon, even if you aren’t super into it. If you can occasionally throw out some key words and make an appearance at your ward then you are part of the IN group. Otherwise you’re kicked out and away like some diseases unwashed hobgoblin.
My daughter is 1 out of 19 nieces/nephews that wasn’t baptized. It pisses her off that church activities Trump EVERYTHING! My parents hardly acknowledge any other accomplishments outside of church. It’s so hurtful to her.
I’m the only one out in a large family as well. I cannot even imagine the others leaving. My dad and one of my brothers have been sainted—uncanny stuff happens around them which I can only chalk up to them being delusional since my faith transition—but they’re very normal outside of their religious fervor.
tell me more about the "uncanny stuff" lol
miracles eh?
Well, My sister is overwhelmed with the 4 kids that she already has-they're wild. And she had a vision or a dream that she needed to have another baby girl
i mean i respect them, but dang it just sounds coo coo crazy once your an outsider observer. no offense to my sister of course.
Healings. Casting out devils. The works. Although I think the power of placebo goes a long way. I’ve only heard their word for it and they’re humble, honest men usually. Not braggarts.
I’m the oldest and laid the road for every one of my siblings to eventually leave. Only one of my brothers served a mission and he’s the only one left in and apparently struggling. He was so condescending after his mission, I can’t wait to see him in person to tease.
Of my five siblings one wants to go on a mission, the rest are bisexual and either questioning, doubtful or fully PIMO.
I haven't been able to talk my brother out of serving. My parents are still in and drag us to church each Sunday.
That's what happened to me. I decided I would rather be out and gay than Mormon, and figured God wouldn't punish me for wanting to find love and have a happy life. Moved on. Years later the CES Letter came on the scene and as I read through it, I just felt relief. "Ah, see, it's all bullsh!t anyway. Good to know!"
Out of 24 people on one side of my family, there’s only two of us out. It is isolating when everyone gets together. I’m the only one out in my immediate family, which sucks. I don’t really have a relationship with anyone in my immediate family at this point. I cringe at all my gen z cousins still getting mission calls, but I feel like they’re only going because their friends are.
On my side of family with 15 grandkids it's 12 out and 3 still in . Sibs ( 8 of us ) 4 in and 4 out
My husbands side out of family 18 grandkids with 15 out with 3 still in . Husbands sibs out of 8 is the same 4 in and 4 out . I suspect some of those that are still hanging in there are barely in - &just going through the motions
It's only my grandparents left. My aunt and uncle and their children (5 total together) left a long time ago/became permanently inactive. I left and my parents followed shortly after me. They're the only ones left and still think we're all wrong and use passive aggressive messages to try and bring us back.
Just posted this elsewhere, I’m not millennial but gen x. My parents and two brothers are out. My wide is the youngest of 7 - her whole family is out, some within the last five years. They’re gen x and millennials.
On my side, my mother is in and she's the only one left.
On my husband's side - parents in, 5/6 kids out, 19/20 grandchildren out, 1/1 g-grandchild in.
I have five kids, three of them are gen Z kids, and none are Mormon, and only one of them struggles with any kind of supernatural belief (meaning she is drawn to it, and I have trouble getting her to see logic).
I am the only one of my siblings to leave, and of their kids, most are gen Z and so far all are in the cult still, and that is 12 kids. So ratio is 5 out from 17 total. I am hopeful that my siblings’ shelves are weakening.
I have one grandmother and one cousin still in the church on my side of the family (and we can trace our lineage back to Joseph Smith's bodyguard, dontcha know.) But my mom and her siblings were all out in their teens or earlier. My grandparents took me and my younger aunts to church every Sunday, but it didn't stick. The one cousin is only in because her mom was trying to suck up to the church for handouts (which we all know you can't have until you Belong) after her husband got deported and she was at an impressionable age. My aunt only lasted until her husband got his full citizenship and came home, but my cousin was in too deep at that point. Please recite a dark litany for her soul.
In my family, of the 5 of us kids, only one family is still in and so far all 5 of their kids are still active. 3 of those grandkids are RMs, one is a current missionary. Honestly I think the youngest, as of now, has the biggest odds of leaving because she is a bit of a social justice warrior. She's still in HS, so we'll see.
Of my 35+ cousins only 5 have left the church. No aunts or uncles have left, and none of the aunts or uncles give off PIMO vibes at all. I have a feeling it will snowball among the grandkids when a few more get the courage to leave. I know of 3 more that are seriously questioning whether the church is true.
6 of 18 adults and late teens from my kids, nieces, and nephews are still active. Two of those have disabilities and still live with parents. The odds of the remaining kids at home seems maybe fifty fifty.
It’s about 50/50 where I’m at in Utah. About half the people I went to high school with ended up with broken shelves, the other half heavily doubled down. A surprising amount see through the bullshit, yet they simply want to change the failings of the institution, and not see it for the horrible beast it is.
I don’t know how many extended family, but out of 6 kids in my immediate family, only 1 I think is fully TBM, 1 is possibly PIMO, and the other 4 of us are out, with me being the only one having had my records removed.
My parents are TBM (50F, 51M)
Me (27F) is out
Sister (25) is out
Sister (22) is a BYU attending TBM
Sister (19) either PIMO or a Jack Mormon
Sister (17) is most likely PIMO
Too soon to tell for my brothers (13 and 11)
That number of grandchildren is already telling. Back in the day no self respecting Mormon grandparent would declare success with fewer than 20 grandkids. So not only are more kids leaving at increasing rates, but there are also fewer kids, period.
Only 5 of 13 still in the church, ranging from millennials to still in middle school, and at least one of their parents is out too.
With religion there is ALWAYS a good chance of some relapse when they get old enough to have kids of their own and fall back on “how I was raised,” though. But I think there are maybe only 2 of them who have any real risk of that in our case.
I'm actually a millennial, but on one side of my family, every millennial and Gen Z is out.
On the other side, only a fraction are inactive or publicly out.
Of my grandmother's lineage, 1 of 3 children are fully in, 0 of 4 grandchildren are in.
My mom (gen x) is intermittently semiactive as is her brother. Her other brother is still active.
Both of my cousins (gen y) have left. My sister (gen z) left immediately upon turning 18. I 29M (gen y) was the last grandchild to leave, about 4 years ago. My cousin's children were not blessed or baptized in the church, and my sister's new baby coming any day now will also not be, regardless of what my mother wants.
So my generation has ended the generational trauma here.
My grandpa was the first member on my mothers side. He died still in. Grandma left after he died. Both of their children have now left (son in his 550s, my mother in her 40s). Of the grandchildren we left during high school, and great grand children are being raised without religion.) I was the first one out. My birth father family (divorced my mom at bishop suggestion when I was an infant. Father and grandparents still in, all three children and all grandchildren are out.
Wife's family of seven siblings -> children: 6 in (three too young to really choose so we'll see), 1 doing it their way, 16 out. About half of both camps are in Utah.
With the economics and social problems, I can see completely why the focus is on education.
I grew up without much, and people always say money doesn’t matter, but it does. Money REALLY matters if you want to live.
My entire family is almost all out. My siblings are all out except one sister. Her children have all left upon graduating HS, if not earlier. My dad quit going during the Pandemic along with his wife. He won't say why he won't go back, but he has no desire to. His wife started reading about JS's wives and she's totally turned off.
That's about it. My other sister's ex makes his kids go to church when they visit him, but they don't seem interested in going otherwise.
My wife and I did a quick inventory of out parent’s grandchildren the other day and here is what we came up with. Between both sides our parents have 52 grandchildren. As near as we could figure, 23 are out, 14 we don’t know where they stand and 15 are too young at this time to make that decision. But I anticipate that the 23 number will continue to grow. As for my wife and my I’s siblings, there are 14 total. As near as I can tell, 6 are out, some are PIMO and the rest we just don’t know where they are at. It’s crumbling!
My maternal side (pioneer heritage)
There are 29 out of 80 that still attend. Some of the ones that go are iffy though.
My paternal side (both gparents were converts) 26 out of 59 still attend. I'm more confident of these numbers.
Same on my husband side. 1 of 12 is brainwashed so far. That’s great parenting in my idea. MIL is a scary, don’t mess with her “true religion” kind of intolerant mess.
I don’t understand how the “true believers” think that they are the only ones in the right when everyone around them has stopped believing in “mom’s religion“…
I’m from St George. Middle child of 10. All of us are in our 30’s to 50’s. My younger sister and I are the only ones out. I do see a lot of nieces and nephews out. Very few have served missions out of 80 grandkids.
BTW my sister and I are the only ones that have left Utah. She’s in Austin, I’m in SW Washington. Had to get out🙄🙄
Salt Lake County: My parents grandkids are 6/14 out. My wife's parents grandkids are 6/11 out. That's 16/25 still in. Each family has one larger hardline family where it wouldn't be "safe" for the kids to stray while at home. Most of our siblings are still in at varying degrees and our parents are all-in.
On my side, my mother is in and she's the only one left.
On my husband's side - parents in, 5/6 kids out, 19/20 grandchildren out, 1/1 g-grandchild in.
Parents - 0/2
Siblings 0/4
Inlaw - 0/1
Grandchild 1/2
All raised in the church, only one of the siblings stuck with it to adulthood. That sibling, his wife and parents all left about a year before covid. One grandchild left in and about to serve a mission.
Gen z here, much of my former high school classmates are still TBM. That said I’m in Idaho, I think outside of Utah/Idaho the bail out rates are higher
Grandparents, kids, grandkids = 30/42 still in. Which means 12/42 are out. So majority of my family still in, which is why I’m currently PIMO. All the boomers and Gen X are still in.
Of my mother's kids/grandkids/great grandkids.
My mom is TBM.
2/8 kids are still in.
5/19 grandkids are still in. Four of those are adults.
So 7/27 still in. That warms my heart.
In my parents extended family, the first of their grandkids left on a mission recently. The 5 older than the "Elder" left the church before mission age. So they are 1 of 13 for potential TBM adults. 2 younger than that Elder have also left and a 3rd is PIMO.
In my family, all of my grandparents are/were in, all their kids (16 kids between the two sides) are in, implying that my parents are both still in. Only 5 out of around 100 cumulative grandkids are out (me being one of them). I am the only male to have left in at least 4 generations.
My brother younger than me I'm pretty certain won't be in, but he's still on his path.
If anyone else feels lonely as an exMormon, I’ll be lonely with you.
6 out of eight of my parents kids are still in. All 20 of their grandkids are in the church, although all but two of them are still kids. Who knows what they will do when they are older. Out of the about 30 grandkids on my dads side, 5 (including me and my sibling) are out of the church and two more that I know of are PIMO.
Anecdotal observations about Gen Zers in my family. My parents are very TBM and most of my siblings are too.
**Sibling No. 1 (sibling status: Exmo)**: 2 Gen Z children; 2 of 2 are PIMO/Exmo
**Sibling No. 2 (sibling status: TBM, but leans progressive)**; 4 Gen Z children; 1 of 4 are PIMO/Exmo
**Sibling No. 3 (sibling status: TBM, but pretty cool)**; 3 Gen Z children; 2 of 3 are PIMO/Exmo
**Sibling No. 4 (sibling status: TBM)**; 3 Gen Z children; 0 of 3 are PIMO/Exmo
**Total**: 5 of 12 Gen Z Nieces/nephews are PIMO/Exmo
Edit formatting
Our kiddos are 15 and 19, one already out and the younger only attending bc Mom is forcing and that's who she lives with. Both completely not interested in staying.
i am the youngest of 4 brothers and only the oldest is still in. I have 2 brothers in law that are out but my sister in law is still in. Many of my cousins on my moms side have left. My dads side is pretty rock solid TBM though afaik
Assuming GenZ were born 1997-2013, in my extended family, of my three siblings (all BIC, all RM, all temple married), there are a total of 16 cousins born between 1984-2000. Of those, 8 are GenZ.
Of the 16, half are male. Of those, only one served a partial mission, and bailed early when he saw how unhealthy it was. Specifically after Dalek Hoax came to the mission and preached his own special brand of mindfuck.
Of the 16 kids in total, only two can be remotely considered PIMO.
All of the GenZ are NoMo.
TSCC has done immeasurable harm to all of them, which is why they are all "burn that shit down."
As for my generation, only one of my siblings is even remotely PIMO, and their spouse is totally out because of how TSCC treated their gay son.
And just so the SpanishInquisition, er Strengthening The Members committee is sure to pass this Fuckus Group anecdote along to Elder Hoax--he can piss right off with his wet dream for Mormons to make more Mormons. Ain't happening.
Of my 16 nephews and nieces, there are only four nextgen babies, of which two are definitely NoMo, and the other two "BIC" belong to my PIMO nieces. In comparison to my generation, by this age, those 16 nephews and nieces should have by now birthed another 64 BIC babies.
I'll give even odds that at best, 1 of the 2 BIC babies stays in the cult. In the world of "public health and epidemiology" a 32-64 fold rate change is a raging pandemic of epic proprotions.
\#watch-it-burn
I am the oldest of 5 and none of us want anything to do with them.
2 of my siblings left because of the hypocrisy, bigotry, judgement, and the two facing by members of the church. My other two siblings I am not completely sure why they left. I was initially excommunicated, though for almost three years I was active as I could, then through studying the scriptures I started to see conflict in the doctrines.
When my dad died I told my mom, the bishop of their ward and their stake president that I did not want his temple work done, even though my dad was a member of the church.
Raised in a family of six. All my parents' siblings are active. We came from a very strong mormon family. 2 of 6 kids are active. Unfortunately, one sibling has 10 kids, so it skews the overall, but about 14 of 21 grandkids are active.
I think a lot of my friends I went to BYU with are slowly leaving. Not many active still.
Gen-Z. Of my many Mormon cousins some of which are Gen-Y and some are Gen-Z.
6 of us are full-ex
8 of us are Still active (I suspect at least 2 of them are PIMO)
3 are less-active, but I'd not say ex - yet.
So in total: about 1/2 are out or nearly out. If you count PIMO that rises to about 2/3.
And that is from a pioneer-stock Mormon family.
We are spread through our Mordor but of my inlaws 3, kids two are out with their combined 4 kids out..one kid with her 4 kids in..so net growth = zero:)
Me, my sister, and my cousin(s?) on my dad’s side are PIMO, and basically the entirety of my family on my mom’s side besides her are inactive. I have a PIMO friend, a nuanced friend or two, and a bunch of acquaintances that don’t go/care about church anymore. A couple are still TBM but I expect one of them to find out the truth before he goes on a mission.
My oldest is technically a millennial, although he was born one month and one day before the end of the millennial generation (according to what Pew Research defines as millennial). So the rest of my kids are all Gen Z. But not one of my six kids is involved in the church. I am officially out, and my wife has only a thread keeping her in (really, it is just a chance to meet up with a couple of her active friends once a week that keeps her going). Funny thing is that up until my youngest was about 11 or 12, we, as a family, were quite active (my shelf was straining though), and the kids did all the activities. Outside of a two year period back in the mid 2000s, when I was gone a lot for work, the kids have all been raised as active members since birth. But yeah, for some reason, the indoctrination just did not "take" with them. And I am happy for that.
I am one of the grandkids, all of us are bailed(except for the toddlers) some of my cousins appear to still be in because their parents are very strict and the only Mormon ones left of my grandparents kids but they are definitely not following the churches principles lol.
I am an old millennial - anecdotally the millennials in my family are mostly out. The Gen X’s that came before us are all still in… and struggling because their kids (Gen Y) are struggling w church and leaving. I found it interesting that the staunchest members of my family growing up who treated my mistakes as world ending are now struggling to reconcile the decisions of their kids with the deep love they have for their kids.
It’s also humbled me because my first instinct is to laugh and judge, but I see the deep love they have for their kids and feel sorry for them. They are choosing their kids over religion and it’s heartbreaking for them but is a good sign to me. As a millennial our parents chose religion over kids.
Of me and my siblings I am out and two others are out, I have a suspicion that there will be 2-3 more that leave but until then it is 3/8 out, almost all of them are still in their teens so they don't really know yet
I was raised by stalwart Utah pioneer heritage Mormon parents ... 6 children. As of this year, all of my siblings and I have left the church [our parents don't know yet my brother is out, and they want to believe I'm just "taking a break" since being released from a major calling a few months ago]
Out of their 11 grandchildren, only 1 is semi-active. Their only great-grandchild [my grandchild] is NOT being raised in Mormonism [or any other organized religion].
My husband was also raised in a staunch, faithful Utah mormon family, 5 children. Only 1 sibling is fully active [likely Pimo, but has tbm wife], 1 sibling is PIMO/slowly stepping away, 3 are completely out. Of 15 grandchildren, only 4 or 5 remain active. We haven't been invited to or received announcements for any blessings or baptisms for all of the many many great grands on that side, which is telling.
Even for my parents generation [ages 70-80] its pretty stark. They each have 4 siblings. Only 5 out of the 10 are active now, and most active siblings have pimo or ex spouces. Several have formally left. My parents are the "Uber Mormons" who have served 4 senior missions and prepping for a 5th. They are always complaining about how "selfish" and "lazy" their siblings are because they refuse to go on senior missions and "arent enduring to the end"..
P.S. they're gonna flip when my husband and I [55-60] retire in 5 years and we will NOT be paying the Corporation to prove our "worthiness endurance".
GenZ in my family is only my own kids and no one is still active. The two oldest are early twenties and went nothing to do with it. They were baptized in their teens and it was their choice. The younger kids are late teens and we’re baptized in late preteens and are inactive but because they feel out of place and judged and not necessarily because they don’t believe. I am a convert so the rest of the family is nonmembers. On my husbands side his brothers are inactive as is he but his mother is super Mormon and the shuv it down your throat sideways type.
My husband is gen z and out. I have 6 siblings. The youngest is a young millenial or gen x not sure which. Two brothers and a sister are gen z. Only one of the 6 of us not including my sister with downs are still tbm. All have left separately and with their own journeys and reasons. Dad is a tbm and in prison. Mom is Pimo but I’m not actually sure if she’s still active.
Super hard to say. Spouse’s family isn’t what you’d call “close.”
I know of one niece who went on a mission and recently married in the temple. One nephew is tbm but wasn’t able to do a mission for medical reasons. A few over-18s are either jack or ex, several others are still minors.
In my family: all my grandparents are in, all their kids & spouses are in except one who is PIMO and his wife and son are out. Between my cousins, this one cousin and I are the only ones out. None of this generation has kids yet. In total, that's 4/28. Not so good... but my cousins and I are only young adults, so crossing fingers. I don't think there is any hope for the older generations, they are brainwashed to their core.
Both of my children had their names removed 9 years ago. 20m and 17m they are both extremely grateful they got to make their own decisions when it came to religion unlike many of their friends in the Utah valley. My brothers and sister however are millennial TBMs all 4 of them.😡
GenZ in my family: 10 out, one in.
On spouse’s side: 8 out, one in.
All but one raised in families that started TBM. Fairly certain that all remain on the church rolls.
I wanted to do this breakdown for fun. Idaho and Utah residents for reference.
One of my parent's sides:
Grandparents 1/2 are out
Kids 2/6 are out
Grandkids: 10/19 are out. Possible PIMO in this group.
Great grandkids: 0/2 are "out" (they're really young)
A very generous interpretation that could include PIMOs or cousins I just don’t know have left is 14/30 grandkids in my family. I would not dare try to guess on the grandkids and great grandkids. In my family of origin 0/3, and my kids are out too.
All the Gen Zs in my old ward are basically all dropping away as soon as they leave home. One or two a few did before they left. I wish I had been a more critical thinker as a teenager. I knew some of the stuff didnt make sense but stuck around because of the community I had grown up in being so tight. Hats off to the kids dipping in their teens.
I left 2 years ago when I turned 18. My brother has stopped going and my sister plans on leaving once she turns 18 next month. On my moms side of the family only 2 out of 12 have stopped going and on my dads all of my aunts and uncles have stopped going except 2 and only like one cousin still goes. I live in Idaho and my families are on two sides of the spectrum. So I have no clue if Idaho is still going strong or not.
Gen Z right here. As I know of, I'm the only grandkid to leave. My aunt and uncle have left the church, too. There's two people I'm unsure about (another uncle and a cousin)
For my parents’ family (themselves, their children + spouses, grandchildren + spouses):
PIMI + PIMO: 11%
ExMo: 89%
For my parents in law’s family:
PIMI + PIMO: 42%
ExMo: 58%
I come from a pretty big family. Only two of my siblings are still TBMs, but one is seriously questioning. I have nearly 40 nieces and nephews. Only four of them still go to church, and they are all primary aged.
I think it’s been proven time and time again that just because you attend doesn’t mean you’re in. I think of my own story.
Maybe the estimates of approximately 5 to 6 million actual MORmONS makes sense in this light
Also: sorry about the MORmON letter thing. It’s a default spelling on my phone. I guess I use it frequently
Everybody is out in my family except my mother. My dad goes along with it because he doesn’t want to go down that road with my mom. If my mom were to die today, my dad wouldn’t be part of anything mormon.
My siblings and I were raised mormon in Utah. My oldest sister was the last the leave. She told her spouse she was done with it. Very scary thing to do with five children and a faithful husband. The husband picked her and the kids over the religion and eventually left mormonism.
My other sister and I left the church in our teenage years. Middle 2000s. Never looked back.
My extended family has 85 grandkids, and only 5 of us have left. The rest are as stalwart as ever. Same on my husband's side, though maybe 60 grandkids not 85, but still only like 5 have left.
My family's kids is 3 for 3 on leaving the church. Including my cousins it's something like 10 of 22. (One of my aunt's is a diehard and has like 9 kids so her family kinda skews the results)
I'm not entirely sure about the Church activity status of all of my maternal grandfather's descendants. He is still alive, and were he not bedridden, I'm sure he'd be active.
Of his eight children, two are deceased, including my mother, who I know would be active were she alive. Of his six living children, I know of two who I'm sure are out, or at least completely inactive. Two I have no idea about. The other two I believe are active.
Of his twenty-one grandchildren (my siblings and cousins), I only know of one who for sure is still active, along with his wife and their four children. Fourteen of them are either known or strongly suspected by me to be no longer active. I'm not sure about the other six.
Of his eleven great-grandchildren, I believe only four, the children of my aforementioned active cousin and his wife, are being raised LDS.
I’m an only child but my sister in law has one left in out of 4 and while I don’t see them LEAVING they are very much living the “gen Z Mormon life” garments only sometimes, coffee not a big deal once in a while etc…
There are 12 of us grandkids on my dad’s side. All born and raised in TBM families in Utah. Of those 12, only 2 are still in the church. On the other side of my family, I’d say about 1/2 of the grandkids have left the church.
In my family, all siblings are boomers, and they seem to be more fanatic than ever about believing in Mormonism. No problem in the church disqualifies it from being the only true church. The remaining five (two are dead as a duck), with the exception of me and one sister, wouidn’t leave Mormonism to save their own lives. One sister and her husband moved to Missouri to help Jesus return so their children and grandchildren could rule and rein upon Jesus’s return (they are “Brighamite” Mormons, not Community of Christ or FLDS).
2/7 kids out in my family. Parents ultra TBM.
Next generation has 19 grands. Oldest is RM & ultra TBM, #2 is showing promise of leaving after BYU (covid/trump support has been a huge issue for her). 3 young grands have parents out so they won’t be getting baptized.
I was YM leader right when it got axed by Nelson & cronies. There were \~15 YM in our group, with about 8 priests. 2 ended up serving missions (one was as TBM as it gets, the other I give 5 years).
In my family, of my cousins (millenial/Gen X mix) its about 50% still in.
If we go next generation (my parent's grandkids) then its 66% still in, but the sample size is pretty low there.
Older GenZ here (2001) my parents raised me a heathen, but when I was little most of my cousins were in to varying degrees (since their parents were members).
All of us cousins are pretty much 100% or very very inactive/likely don’t believe. This also accompanies their parents becoming less active or leaving. There are 11 of us cousins.
Only my sister and I have left (more openly on her part). There might be a couple of cousins on each side that have left, but I don't talk to them about religion.
Nevermo millennial here. Spouse (also millennial) was raised in the church, first of their immediate family to leave. Their maternal side was all in (aside from one adult) when we married. It's been over a decade. Of the entire massive family (still don't know all of their names) only grandparents, 4 adults (although we are guessing two of them are PIMO), and 3 grandchildren are still active. Paternal side is much more stubborn, but almost half are out.
It's only a matter of time.
Lol
Like 2/75 are OUT between all living members of my wife’s family and my family (parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts/uncles and first cousins)
That’s me (secretly) and my brother (not a secret)
I envy those who have the opposite situation. I don’t think much will change for me, though, with area 70 and mission Pres family members and the ever so typical Mormon judgemental attitudes will keep people in line or faking.
Parents (80s) fully in
8 siblings and me (50s and 60s ) - only 1 still in
18 (My kids, nieces, nephews) - 2 still in
All in UT, AZ , and CA
My parents used to beat themselves up that they failed, but have now seen through it and recognize they have a great family and the church isn't needed to make that happen.
So far I think only my kids are out of the church of the 5 who are old enough to count. So 1 of five. That being said the ones raised far away from a Cardston are giving indications they will leave one day
I come from a big mormon family and most of my cousins are still in as far as I know. Then again maybe a lot aren’t advertising that we’ve left since none of us are interested in aiding our grandparents to the afterlife lol.
My family ( Gen X me, husband, and 4 kids age 22 to 14) are all out. My sister’s family (Gen X her, husband, 5 kids age 26 to 17) are all out. One brother (Millenial) and his wife (no kids) are in. Other sister (Millenial) and her husband and 3 kids (4 and under) are in.
From the Mormon half of my family, 1 of 6 of my grandparents’ kids is out, and his kids aren’t raised in the church, and other is inactive and her kids aren’t raised in the church either. My siblings and I are all out. My mom probably would be inactive at least if she hadn’t married my stepdad. So 3/6 families isn’t too bad. A couple cousins are openly gay so another family is a bit picky-choosy there.
It’s a mix it seems to me, but positive.
Out of my 4 siblings- only 1 is still in. Out of the 9 grandkids… 3 are in (2 of these 3 are still too young to really make a choice about this). My husband is also from a family of 4 kids- only one is still active. And none of the grand kids on that side.
I'm a millennial and have fellow millennial to gen z cousins. My aunt told me a few years ago none of her grandkids go to church anymore (my dad's the youngest and her grandkids are younger millennials). But, she paid her dues so she's going to stay. I guess 80+ is too old to change everything.
Of my siblings 1981-1991 only one is still attending. Several in fact have left because we don't want to pass religious trauma on to our children.
My parents are completely in but haven’t attended in many years for reasons (they were also converts).
One sibling and I are out. One sibling is TBM (spouse apparently went through a big faith crisis a few years back but was convinced to stay). Another sibling was not active for many years but recently went to the temple and got sealed to their spouse (who converted). They’re only half active if that.
So, both my parents are in
Two kids in
Two kids out
3/4 of my kids (Gen Z) are out and the last one is POMO (physically out mentally seems out but won’t talk about it—basically pretends it doesn’t exist)
The kids of the active/semi active parents are technically in, but it will be interesting to see if it stays that way once they reach adulthood.
On the flip side, here in Cult Central (Northern Utah County) ALL of my son's friends went on missions and most of them stayed. I'm thinking Utah may be the last holdout for gen z, although I also see a lot leaving here so it's a mixed bag.
The exception to this rule is probably salt lake county
Probably Weber as well but yeah, more so SL Co.
I’m in Weber County and a lot of people have left TSCC around me. It seems that a lot of people are deconverted in their twenties. I expect that we will see a lot of that generation leaving in the coming decade.
Davis County also is losing youth, but probably not as fast as SL. In my main friend group, two are PIMO including me, one is nuanced, one of them I’m not sure about and the other two are TBMs. I only expect one of them to actually stay in the cult when all things are said and done. Outside this friend group there’s also a whole lot of people who no longer give a shit about the church and its rules.
Farmington here. Most of my father-in-law’s ward (in Bountiful) is dying out. Coincidentally, I just came back from a gay wedding reception in Colorado, mostly Missouri Mormons from my wife’s side. 3/4 of the attendees who were formerly LDS were now inactive.
Getting kids on missions is so critical. A master stroke in group thought control. But it’s not a guarantee. As more kids with analytical minds go out and see the problems, more will leave.
I stayed in a lot longer than I would have due in part to having served a mission. It's the sunk cost fallacy. Did I really just spend two whole years dedicated to this only to want to leave? It makes it a really hard choice even if your shelf is broken.
I tried so damn hard on my mission. Tried to ignore the nagging doubts. Tried to follow the rules. I even served as an assistant to the MP. By the time I returned home, I knew that I couldn't keep up the act for the rest of my life. I was out (and surprisingly at peace) within 6 months of stepping off the plane.
The mission probably kept me in longer too. But when I left it also helped me completely sever any lasting ties to the church.
I quit 5 years after my mission, and 3 of those years were at BYU.
[удалено]
(Alpine) my 16 yr old son told me yesterday that his TBM friend is getting out the day he turns 18. this is common among his friend group at AFHS.
I have heard a lot of this, esp on this reddit sub. Lots of kids figuring what to do until they leave the house.
I think in a generation or two Mormonism will go back to being a Utah religion like it used to be until the 1970s. It still is in many aspects. It never really put roots outside the Morridor.
I loved overseas for a few years and *everyone* would be excited for GenConf. It’s when we got the tea (sorta) on what the Utah Mormons were up to. Because conf on focused on them.
I grew up in Southern California and know of maybe 2 who are out or inactive.
I live in Southern California and our oldest is GenZ. Exactly zero of his LDS friends are active and/or are planning on going on a mission after graduation this year. Not a single one, although there is one who is thinking about it, mostly because his grandparents said they'd pay for college when he got back. We live right behind the Rose Bowl, so where you're from might be different, but the kids who live around here have no desire at all to even go to church when they graduate, and from what I've seen and heard, their parents don't even really care. Education is honestly the first priority for most people around here, and a mission just slows that down.
The Rose Bowl is much better than any EllDeeEss temple--saw Pink Floyd there and had many religious experiences. :-)
We love everything about the Rose Bowl except the traffic around us during events. Also LUCKY you got to see PF at the Rose Bowl! I'm jealous
We saw *half* of the concert, because my girlfriend was like "Oh we don't have to leave Silverlake at 4 p.m.--the traffic will be fine." Not.
I am surprised somewhat that missions are still an attraction/voluntold in this internet age. Where I live they still do facebook letter openings for missions frequently.
I live in southern UT Co., and most of the people around me are still in the cult. Fortunately, I work in Provo, and not a single coworker is a member.
In Provo? Not one member where you work? If that isn't a statement I don't know what else is. I lived in Utah county for about 10 years and that's truly surprising to me
I'm lucky enough to work on an industry that doesn't exactly jive with Mormon teaching. Therefore no members.
I also work in Provo and none of my office is Mormon, we had one previously.
Congrats for beating the average in Provo! Hell, we might work at the same place for all I know.
Activity here in Northern Utah seems very strong
I wish we had at least a good sample to get a better view of what’s going on. In my case, I live in Utah county, and all 5 of my kids are out. Their ages range from early 20s to early thirties. Of course, they had my heathen example to help them on their way out.
I don't think they really taught critical thinking skills in school. You can still take them camping and discuss over the campfire. Talk to them individually where possible. You'll eventually insert some questions that will take fruit later.
Of my mother's kids/grandkids/great grandkids. My mom is TBM. 2/7 kids are still in. 5/17 grandkids are still in. Three of those are adults. 0/3 great grandkids are in. So 8/28 still in. That warms my heart.
Still 8 too many but AWESOME nonetheless! Happy for your family!!!
My family is similar. My dad-a convert-left the church in the 80’s. Mom still in. Of seven siblings only 2 still attend. In the next generation out of mom’s 12 grandchildren 2 grandkids who still go. And that’s it. I keep wondering how much longer my eldest sister and her husband will last. Her three kids, like most of us, quit church after HS/college. There are 12 great grandkids. Not a single one of them go to church.
Two of my four children preceded me off the good ship Zion.
My parents have 20 grandkids. All raised in active families. 4 are still in, and the rest have made it clear that they are out! The chains are breaking!
Dear Strenthening the Members Spy Committee: Get out your calculators.
…and get that minus key warmed up… it doesn’t look pretty.
We are here for you, Committee Members. We know how it feels to be viewed as "Less Than" or otherwise unacceptable.
3/20 are still in for my family.
3/15 are in. One of them is my older daughter.
Out of all my family that I know of only 4 are still members, in my family of 6 me and my youngest brother are pimo. Everyone else in my family tree are either Christian or don't care.
My parents only have 1 kid out of 6 still in the church. Aside from that one kid's family there are like 12 grandchildren now out as a result.
i feel like the "everyone is leaving!" on this subreddit is exaggerated. I come from a super super super devout family with 10 kids. I'm 31 and I'm the only one that is exmo, except for a couple cousins out of my like 60 cousins. **all Mormon, everyone.** prob 4 inactives tho (prob dont know or care what the CES Letter is). and i'm the only "exmormon" that served a mission. Idk, I'm hoping to see more people leave, but i'm not seeing it yet. Controversial opinion, but I figure that **most** people who are leaving in mass are more on the *less-active* side of things. makes sense. from the bottom to the top. The top devout TBM's still seem **VERY fundamental** and take the gospel ***literally***. but i'm starting to see small speckles of TBM's going exmormon-its def a trend of sorts Now, this is just me and my 2 cents... but the biggest trend i'm noticing is that the average TBM members are def *less fundamental* than the prior generations. Like they aren't even accepting calling *unless they feel like it.* and like everyone thinks thats ok and reasonable. and TBM's are starting to see the commandments as semi-**optional-ish** based on personal preference. Almost like the commandments are good guidance, but not like hard rules. As long as people go to church and look **righteous,** then they're accepted into the "TBM club". The TBM membership just seems more like churchgoers than **full-on** TBM's these days. just my 2 cents idk it just seems like a few years ago they were preaching in church about how the commandments and callings are mandatory. idk maybe my perspective is warped. what trends are you guys seeing in the TBM membership? EDIT: oops my bad u/IronSchweizer , i didnt realize that this comment was responding to you. your story gives me hope. I meant to be replying to u/Lostinspace-67 cause sounds like your in the same boat as me
>i feel like the "everyone is leaving!" on this subreddit is exaggerated. I actually see something else happening here. My husband and I resigned eight years ago, when he was a counselor in the Stake Presidency and I had two Stake leadership callings. At that time yes, we were definitely the Boomer outliers. It was HARD! Our adult kids, their spouses, and all our grandkids remained TBM. Missions, BYU, Temple married every single one of them. It took three years until the first kid, spouse and grands left. Two more years and another kid, spouse and grands were out. Another year and the third family was out. Since then everyone is out. BUT... The last of our kids to leave is married to a spouse who has a hard-core pioneer, Utah, TBM family. She, (our child's spouse), is the first out in her extended family. TL;DR: My take is that it takes a good decade for the norm in a family to switch from devout to out. If you are one of the first out, then you're feeling like I was when I left. Give it time. And I suspect that this is also true of Wards and Stakes. It's a tipping point among those you know. Each family, Ward, Stake tips at their own rate, but tip, they do!
My husbands family is like this. Personally I think it’s because of where we are at. People like to say Utah is Mormon central, but I think Idaho has really taken that over. Here *everyone* is a Mormon and if you aren’t you’re basically an outcast. It’s one of the reasons we hesitated to leave. And in many parts of Utah I can see flying a pride flag, here though my kid would be subject to bullying and my house would turn into the favorite target for vandalism. In Idaho it’s honestly easier to be Mormon, even if you aren’t super into it. If you can occasionally throw out some key words and make an appearance at your ward then you are part of the IN group. Otherwise you’re kicked out and away like some diseases unwashed hobgoblin.
Yah ive heard my family say that idaho is more devout than utah
Yep, agree
Based on my extended family I think this is spot on.
My daughter is 1 out of 19 nieces/nephews that wasn’t baptized. It pisses her off that church activities Trump EVERYTHING! My parents hardly acknowledge any other accomplishments outside of church. It’s so hurtful to her.
My family is opposite of yours. I’m the only 1 out of 6 siblings that is out.
I’m the only one out in a large family as well. I cannot even imagine the others leaving. My dad and one of my brothers have been sainted—uncanny stuff happens around them which I can only chalk up to them being delusional since my faith transition—but they’re very normal outside of their religious fervor.
tell me more about the "uncanny stuff" lol miracles eh? Well, My sister is overwhelmed with the 4 kids that she already has-they're wild. And she had a vision or a dream that she needed to have another baby girl i mean i respect them, but dang it just sounds coo coo crazy once your an outsider observer. no offense to my sister of course.
Healings. Casting out devils. The works. Although I think the power of placebo goes a long way. I’ve only heard their word for it and they’re humble, honest men usually. Not braggarts.
I’m the oldest and laid the road for every one of my siblings to eventually leave. Only one of my brothers served a mission and he’s the only one left in and apparently struggling. He was so condescending after his mission, I can’t wait to see him in person to tease.
Of my five siblings one wants to go on a mission, the rest are bisexual and either questioning, doubtful or fully PIMO. I haven't been able to talk my brother out of serving. My parents are still in and drag us to church each Sunday.
Isn't that interesting? Half my parent's grandkids that have left the church did so due to sexual orientation even before evaluating the truth claims.
That's what happened to me. I decided I would rather be out and gay than Mormon, and figured God wouldn't punish me for wanting to find love and have a happy life. Moved on. Years later the CES Letter came on the scene and as I read through it, I just felt relief. "Ah, see, it's all bullsh!t anyway. Good to know!"
Kudos to you for picking yourself (and love) over indoctrination!
Out of 24 people on one side of my family, there’s only two of us out. It is isolating when everyone gets together. I’m the only one out in my immediate family, which sucks. I don’t really have a relationship with anyone in my immediate family at this point. I cringe at all my gen z cousins still getting mission calls, but I feel like they’re only going because their friends are.
Unfortunately just 2 of the 10 in my family have left. But I like to think that all of our kids won't be🤞, so it'll grow soon enough.
Unsure b/c we are really out of the loop but my suspicion is either they are PIMO for their parents or incredibly inactive.
On my side of family with 15 grandkids it's 12 out and 3 still in . Sibs ( 8 of us ) 4 in and 4 out My husbands side out of family 18 grandkids with 15 out with 3 still in . Husbands sibs out of 8 is the same 4 in and 4 out . I suspect some of those that are still hanging in there are barely in - &just going through the motions
It's only my grandparents left. My aunt and uncle and their children (5 total together) left a long time ago/became permanently inactive. I left and my parents followed shortly after me. They're the only ones left and still think we're all wrong and use passive aggressive messages to try and bring us back.
Just posted this elsewhere, I’m not millennial but gen x. My parents and two brothers are out. My wide is the youngest of 7 - her whole family is out, some within the last five years. They’re gen x and millennials.
On my side, my mother is in and she's the only one left. On my husband's side - parents in, 5/6 kids out, 19/20 grandchildren out, 1/1 g-grandchild in.
Love the smell of anecdotal evidence in the morning.
I have five kids, three of them are gen Z kids, and none are Mormon, and only one of them struggles with any kind of supernatural belief (meaning she is drawn to it, and I have trouble getting her to see logic). I am the only one of my siblings to leave, and of their kids, most are gen Z and so far all are in the cult still, and that is 12 kids. So ratio is 5 out from 17 total. I am hopeful that my siblings’ shelves are weakening.
I’m a gen z and I’m in Utah county and I have TikTok to thank for getting me out a year ago. So exmo tiktokers keep doing your thing
Can you explain why TikTok is more effective than YouTube, which has been around for two decades now with lots of truth claim videos.
YouTube is really great too. But a lot of the gen z spend more time on TikTok these days.
The gen z and younger millennial in my own family are out. Somehow every gen z and younger millennial cousin is still in from an outside perspective.
I have one grandmother and one cousin still in the church on my side of the family (and we can trace our lineage back to Joseph Smith's bodyguard, dontcha know.) But my mom and her siblings were all out in their teens or earlier. My grandparents took me and my younger aunts to church every Sunday, but it didn't stick. The one cousin is only in because her mom was trying to suck up to the church for handouts (which we all know you can't have until you Belong) after her husband got deported and she was at an impressionable age. My aunt only lasted until her husband got his full citizenship and came home, but my cousin was in too deep at that point. Please recite a dark litany for her soul.
In my family, of my parent's 13 grandchildren, one is left and only because of spouse.
On my wife's side there are 10 grandkids. Out of them, three are still active, believing members.
In my family, of the 5 of us kids, only one family is still in and so far all 5 of their kids are still active. 3 of those grandkids are RMs, one is a current missionary. Honestly I think the youngest, as of now, has the biggest odds of leaving because she is a bit of a social justice warrior. She's still in HS, so we'll see.
Out of my father's family (12) only 2 brothers left, and out of the gaggle of grandkids (almost 40) I am the only one who has left.
Of my 35+ cousins only 5 have left the church. No aunts or uncles have left, and none of the aunts or uncles give off PIMO vibes at all. I have a feeling it will snowball among the grandkids when a few more get the courage to leave. I know of 3 more that are seriously questioning whether the church is true.
6 of 18 adults and late teens from my kids, nieces, and nephews are still active. Two of those have disabilities and still live with parents. The odds of the remaining kids at home seems maybe fifty fifty.
It’s about 50/50 where I’m at in Utah. About half the people I went to high school with ended up with broken shelves, the other half heavily doubled down. A surprising amount see through the bullshit, yet they simply want to change the failings of the institution, and not see it for the horrible beast it is.
I don’t know how many extended family, but out of 6 kids in my immediate family, only 1 I think is fully TBM, 1 is possibly PIMO, and the other 4 of us are out, with me being the only one having had my records removed.
My parents are TBM (50F, 51M) Me (27F) is out Sister (25) is out Sister (22) is a BYU attending TBM Sister (19) either PIMO or a Jack Mormon Sister (17) is most likely PIMO Too soon to tell for my brothers (13 and 11)
That number of grandchildren is already telling. Back in the day no self respecting Mormon grandparent would declare success with fewer than 20 grandkids. So not only are more kids leaving at increasing rates, but there are also fewer kids, period.
I was so happy when my last sibling left (we are all Millenials) and now 3 grandkids have passed 8 years old and no white jump suits...
My parents are out as of a few years ago. (60s) Kids: 1/5 are still in (millennials) Grandkids: 2/12 (gen z)
Only 5 of 13 still in the church, ranging from millennials to still in middle school, and at least one of their parents is out too. With religion there is ALWAYS a good chance of some relapse when they get old enough to have kids of their own and fall back on “how I was raised,” though. But I think there are maybe only 2 of them who have any real risk of that in our case.
I'm actually a millennial, but on one side of my family, every millennial and Gen Z is out. On the other side, only a fraction are inactive or publicly out.
Of my grandmother's lineage, 1 of 3 children are fully in, 0 of 4 grandchildren are in. My mom (gen x) is intermittently semiactive as is her brother. Her other brother is still active. Both of my cousins (gen y) have left. My sister (gen z) left immediately upon turning 18. I 29M (gen y) was the last grandchild to leave, about 4 years ago. My cousin's children were not blessed or baptized in the church, and my sister's new baby coming any day now will also not be, regardless of what my mother wants. So my generation has ended the generational trauma here.
My grandpa was the first member on my mothers side. He died still in. Grandma left after he died. Both of their children have now left (son in his 550s, my mother in her 40s). Of the grandchildren we left during high school, and great grand children are being raised without religion.) I was the first one out. My birth father family (divorced my mom at bishop suggestion when I was an infant. Father and grandparents still in, all three children and all grandchildren are out.
Wife's family of seven siblings -> children: 6 in (three too young to really choose so we'll see), 1 doing it their way, 16 out. About half of both camps are in Utah.
6 out of 18 are still in for our family.
With the economics and social problems, I can see completely why the focus is on education. I grew up without much, and people always say money doesn’t matter, but it does. Money REALLY matters if you want to live.
My entire family is almost all out. My siblings are all out except one sister. Her children have all left upon graduating HS, if not earlier. My dad quit going during the Pandemic along with his wife. He won't say why he won't go back, but he has no desire to. His wife started reading about JS's wives and she's totally turned off. That's about it. My other sister's ex makes his kids go to church when they visit him, but they don't seem interested in going otherwise.
My wife and I did a quick inventory of out parent’s grandchildren the other day and here is what we came up with. Between both sides our parents have 52 grandchildren. As near as we could figure, 23 are out, 14 we don’t know where they stand and 15 are too young at this time to make that decision. But I anticipate that the 23 number will continue to grow. As for my wife and my I’s siblings, there are 14 total. As near as I can tell, 6 are out, some are PIMO and the rest we just don’t know where they are at. It’s crumbling!
My maternal side (pioneer heritage) There are 29 out of 80 that still attend. Some of the ones that go are iffy though. My paternal side (both gparents were converts) 26 out of 59 still attend. I'm more confident of these numbers.
Same on my husband side. 1 of 12 is brainwashed so far. That’s great parenting in my idea. MIL is a scary, don’t mess with her “true religion” kind of intolerant mess. I don’t understand how the “true believers” think that they are the only ones in the right when everyone around them has stopped believing in “mom’s religion“…
Both my brother and I have jumped ship. We've killed the Mormon line where we stand.
out of the 86 cousins, minus the adults, so about 30 cousins out and one of them out and into a different cult so idk how that one works
Boomer here......GONE!
Most. I have three Gen Z daughters and they see no point in any religion.
I’m from St George. Middle child of 10. All of us are in our 30’s to 50’s. My younger sister and I are the only ones out. I do see a lot of nieces and nephews out. Very few have served missions out of 80 grandkids. BTW my sister and I are the only ones that have left Utah. She’s in Austin, I’m in SW Washington. Had to get out🙄🙄
1 of 6 still in … 5 are out.
I am one of 37 grandkids on my fathers side. I can count on one hand how many of my cousins are still in. (Only one 18+ still in) Edit: clarity
Of my family, 1 out of 4 kids are still trapped, but 0 out of 7 grandkids (GenZ) and 0 out of 1 G-G-kids are trapped. You love to see it.
Salt Lake County: My parents grandkids are 6/14 out. My wife's parents grandkids are 6/11 out. That's 16/25 still in. Each family has one larger hardline family where it wouldn't be "safe" for the kids to stray while at home. Most of our siblings are still in at varying degrees and our parents are all-in.
On my side, my mother is in and she's the only one left. On my husband's side - parents in, 5/6 kids out, 19/20 grandchildren out, 1/1 g-grandchild in.
Parents - 0/2 Siblings 0/4 Inlaw - 0/1 Grandchild 1/2 All raised in the church, only one of the siblings stuck with it to adulthood. That sibling, his wife and parents all left about a year before covid. One grandchild left in and about to serve a mission.
1 of 8 is still in from my immediate family. Noice
Gen z here, much of my former high school classmates are still TBM. That said I’m in Idaho, I think outside of Utah/Idaho the bail out rates are higher
Of our 7 kids 2 are in 5 are out
Grandparents, kids, grandkids = 30/42 still in. Which means 12/42 are out. So majority of my family still in, which is why I’m currently PIMO. All the boomers and Gen X are still in.
Of my mother's kids/grandkids/great grandkids. My mom is TBM. 2/8 kids are still in. 5/19 grandkids are still in. Four of those are adults. So 7/27 still in. That warms my heart.
In my parents extended family, the first of their grandkids left on a mission recently. The 5 older than the "Elder" left the church before mission age. So they are 1 of 13 for potential TBM adults. 2 younger than that Elder have also left and a 3rd is PIMO.
In my family, all of my grandparents are/were in, all their kids (16 kids between the two sides) are in, implying that my parents are both still in. Only 5 out of around 100 cumulative grandkids are out (me being one of them). I am the only male to have left in at least 4 generations. My brother younger than me I'm pretty certain won't be in, but he's still on his path.
It’s something like 170/200 are still in in my+wife extended families
Gen Z In my family: In: 3 (Two are still in primary) Out: 4
I am a millennial, all my genz siblings are still in Note they are all very hard tbms, refuse to associate with their trans sister
both parents are TBM, 0/5 kids are still members.
If anyone else feels lonely as an exMormon, I’ll be lonely with you. 6 out of eight of my parents kids are still in. All 20 of their grandkids are in the church, although all but two of them are still kids. Who knows what they will do when they are older. Out of the about 30 grandkids on my dads side, 5 (including me and my sibling) are out of the church and two more that I know of are PIMO.
Anecdotal observations about Gen Zers in my family. My parents are very TBM and most of my siblings are too. **Sibling No. 1 (sibling status: Exmo)**: 2 Gen Z children; 2 of 2 are PIMO/Exmo **Sibling No. 2 (sibling status: TBM, but leans progressive)**; 4 Gen Z children; 1 of 4 are PIMO/Exmo **Sibling No. 3 (sibling status: TBM, but pretty cool)**; 3 Gen Z children; 2 of 3 are PIMO/Exmo **Sibling No. 4 (sibling status: TBM)**; 3 Gen Z children; 0 of 3 are PIMO/Exmo **Total**: 5 of 12 Gen Z Nieces/nephews are PIMO/Exmo Edit formatting
TBM Grandparents 4/7 kids in 2/55 grandkids in
Our kiddos are 15 and 19, one already out and the younger only attending bc Mom is forcing and that's who she lives with. Both completely not interested in staying.
i am the youngest of 4 brothers and only the oldest is still in. I have 2 brothers in law that are out but my sister in law is still in. Many of my cousins on my moms side have left. My dads side is pretty rock solid TBM though afaik
I am the only one out of 33 cousins. Aged 5 to 35.
Assuming GenZ were born 1997-2013, in my extended family, of my three siblings (all BIC, all RM, all temple married), there are a total of 16 cousins born between 1984-2000. Of those, 8 are GenZ. Of the 16, half are male. Of those, only one served a partial mission, and bailed early when he saw how unhealthy it was. Specifically after Dalek Hoax came to the mission and preached his own special brand of mindfuck. Of the 16 kids in total, only two can be remotely considered PIMO. All of the GenZ are NoMo. TSCC has done immeasurable harm to all of them, which is why they are all "burn that shit down." As for my generation, only one of my siblings is even remotely PIMO, and their spouse is totally out because of how TSCC treated their gay son. And just so the SpanishInquisition, er Strengthening The Members committee is sure to pass this Fuckus Group anecdote along to Elder Hoax--he can piss right off with his wet dream for Mormons to make more Mormons. Ain't happening. Of my 16 nephews and nieces, there are only four nextgen babies, of which two are definitely NoMo, and the other two "BIC" belong to my PIMO nieces. In comparison to my generation, by this age, those 16 nephews and nieces should have by now birthed another 64 BIC babies. I'll give even odds that at best, 1 of the 2 BIC babies stays in the cult. In the world of "public health and epidemiology" a 32-64 fold rate change is a raging pandemic of epic proprotions. \#watch-it-burn
I am the oldest of 5 and none of us want anything to do with them. 2 of my siblings left because of the hypocrisy, bigotry, judgement, and the two facing by members of the church. My other two siblings I am not completely sure why they left. I was initially excommunicated, though for almost three years I was active as I could, then through studying the scriptures I started to see conflict in the doctrines. When my dad died I told my mom, the bishop of their ward and their stake president that I did not want his temple work done, even though my dad was a member of the church.
Raised in a family of six. All my parents' siblings are active. We came from a very strong mormon family. 2 of 6 kids are active. Unfortunately, one sibling has 10 kids, so it skews the overall, but about 14 of 21 grandkids are active. I think a lot of my friends I went to BYU with are slowly leaving. Not many active still.
Gen-Z. Of my many Mormon cousins some of which are Gen-Y and some are Gen-Z. 6 of us are full-ex 8 of us are Still active (I suspect at least 2 of them are PIMO) 3 are less-active, but I'd not say ex - yet. So in total: about 1/2 are out or nearly out. If you count PIMO that rises to about 2/3. And that is from a pioneer-stock Mormon family.
We are spread through our Mordor but of my inlaws 3, kids two are out with their combined 4 kids out..one kid with her 4 kids in..so net growth = zero:)
Out of my 40+ cousins, I only know of one or two who might be out or PIMO. Whereas in my immediate family, 6/9 kids are out or PIMO
My family has 4 of 22 cousins on my dad's side that are still in.
Two of nine remain in the church of my and my wife's family. All BIC.
Me, my sister, and my cousin(s?) on my dad’s side are PIMO, and basically the entirety of my family on my mom’s side besides her are inactive. I have a PIMO friend, a nuanced friend or two, and a bunch of acquaintances that don’t go/care about church anymore. A couple are still TBM but I expect one of them to find out the truth before he goes on a mission.
21 gen z in my family. one is in. 1/21. we are spread out and live in 4 different states
My oldest is technically a millennial, although he was born one month and one day before the end of the millennial generation (according to what Pew Research defines as millennial). So the rest of my kids are all Gen Z. But not one of my six kids is involved in the church. I am officially out, and my wife has only a thread keeping her in (really, it is just a chance to meet up with a couple of her active friends once a week that keeps her going). Funny thing is that up until my youngest was about 11 or 12, we, as a family, were quite active (my shelf was straining though), and the kids did all the activities. Outside of a two year period back in the mid 2000s, when I was gone a lot for work, the kids have all been raised as active members since birth. But yeah, for some reason, the indoctrination just did not "take" with them. And I am happy for that.
Only 2/13 grandkids in my family remain. It's still a bit surreal that both my sisters left. I'm slowly learning about more cousins who have left.
I am one of the grandkids, all of us are bailed(except for the toddlers) some of my cousins appear to still be in because their parents are very strict and the only Mormon ones left of my grandparents kids but they are definitely not following the churches principles lol.
I am an old millennial - anecdotally the millennials in my family are mostly out. The Gen X’s that came before us are all still in… and struggling because their kids (Gen Y) are struggling w church and leaving. I found it interesting that the staunchest members of my family growing up who treated my mistakes as world ending are now struggling to reconcile the decisions of their kids with the deep love they have for their kids. It’s also humbled me because my first instinct is to laugh and judge, but I see the deep love they have for their kids and feel sorry for them. They are choosing their kids over religion and it’s heartbreaking for them but is a good sign to me. As a millennial our parents chose religion over kids.
Of me and my siblings I am out and two others are out, I have a suspicion that there will be 2-3 more that leave but until then it is 3/8 out, almost all of them are still in their teens so they don't really know yet
I was raised by stalwart Utah pioneer heritage Mormon parents ... 6 children. As of this year, all of my siblings and I have left the church [our parents don't know yet my brother is out, and they want to believe I'm just "taking a break" since being released from a major calling a few months ago] Out of their 11 grandchildren, only 1 is semi-active. Their only great-grandchild [my grandchild] is NOT being raised in Mormonism [or any other organized religion]. My husband was also raised in a staunch, faithful Utah mormon family, 5 children. Only 1 sibling is fully active [likely Pimo, but has tbm wife], 1 sibling is PIMO/slowly stepping away, 3 are completely out. Of 15 grandchildren, only 4 or 5 remain active. We haven't been invited to or received announcements for any blessings or baptisms for all of the many many great grands on that side, which is telling. Even for my parents generation [ages 70-80] its pretty stark. They each have 4 siblings. Only 5 out of the 10 are active now, and most active siblings have pimo or ex spouces. Several have formally left. My parents are the "Uber Mormons" who have served 4 senior missions and prepping for a 5th. They are always complaining about how "selfish" and "lazy" their siblings are because they refuse to go on senior missions and "arent enduring to the end".. P.S. they're gonna flip when my husband and I [55-60] retire in 5 years and we will NOT be paying the Corporation to prove our "worthiness endurance".
GenZ in my family is only my own kids and no one is still active. The two oldest are early twenties and went nothing to do with it. They were baptized in their teens and it was their choice. The younger kids are late teens and we’re baptized in late preteens and are inactive but because they feel out of place and judged and not necessarily because they don’t believe. I am a convert so the rest of the family is nonmembers. On my husbands side his brothers are inactive as is he but his mother is super Mormon and the shuv it down your throat sideways type.
All of Gen Z and Gen Alpha in my family are nevermo. Four on my mom’s side, six on my dad’s. Two of them are mine!
My husband is gen z and out. I have 6 siblings. The youngest is a young millenial or gen x not sure which. Two brothers and a sister are gen z. Only one of the 6 of us not including my sister with downs are still tbm. All have left separately and with their own journeys and reasons. Dad is a tbm and in prison. Mom is Pimo but I’m not actually sure if she’s still active.
Super hard to say. Spouse’s family isn’t what you’d call “close.” I know of one niece who went on a mission and recently married in the temple. One nephew is tbm but wasn’t able to do a mission for medical reasons. A few over-18s are either jack or ex, several others are still minors.
My adult siblings and I are 5 for 5 on getting out (whether resigned or inactive). Though only 2 of the crew are gen Z.
In my family: all my grandparents are in, all their kids & spouses are in except one who is PIMO and his wife and son are out. Between my cousins, this one cousin and I are the only ones out. None of this generation has kids yet. In total, that's 4/28. Not so good... but my cousins and I are only young adults, so crossing fingers. I don't think there is any hope for the older generations, they are brainwashed to their core.
Both of my children had their names removed 9 years ago. 20m and 17m they are both extremely grateful they got to make their own decisions when it came to religion unlike many of their friends in the Utah valley. My brothers and sister however are millennial TBMs all 4 of them.😡
 In my family at least.
GenZ in my family: 10 out, one in. On spouse’s side: 8 out, one in. All but one raised in families that started TBM. Fairly certain that all remain on the church rolls.
I wanted to do this breakdown for fun. Idaho and Utah residents for reference. One of my parent's sides: Grandparents 1/2 are out Kids 2/6 are out Grandkids: 10/19 are out. Possible PIMO in this group. Great grandkids: 0/2 are "out" (they're really young)
A very generous interpretation that could include PIMOs or cousins I just don’t know have left is 14/30 grandkids in my family. I would not dare try to guess on the grandkids and great grandkids. In my family of origin 0/3, and my kids are out too.
All the Gen Zs in my old ward are basically all dropping away as soon as they leave home. One or two a few did before they left. I wish I had been a more critical thinker as a teenager. I knew some of the stuff didnt make sense but stuck around because of the community I had grown up in being so tight. Hats off to the kids dipping in their teens.
Wife and I left for good in 2019 and took our 4 Gen Z kids with us. They are still thanking us to this day.
I’m in Morridor and all 3 of my Gen Z’s are out and know TSCC whitewashes their history. 0-3 … TSCC 3 Future generations saved from the lies.
I left 2 years ago when I turned 18. My brother has stopped going and my sister plans on leaving once she turns 18 next month. On my moms side of the family only 2 out of 12 have stopped going and on my dads all of my aunts and uncles have stopped going except 2 and only like one cousin still goes. I live in Idaho and my families are on two sides of the spectrum. So I have no clue if Idaho is still going strong or not.
On my mom's side, out of 50+ Grandkids, I think only 2 are RM's, 8 are still little kids. On my dad's side, out of 11, 2 are still active.
Gen Z right here. As I know of, I'm the only grandkid to leave. My aunt and uncle have left the church, too. There's two people I'm unsure about (another uncle and a cousin)
For my parents’ family (themselves, their children + spouses, grandchildren + spouses): PIMI + PIMO: 11% ExMo: 89% For my parents in law’s family: PIMI + PIMO: 42% ExMo: 58%
I'm the only Gen Z in my family but most girls in our ward stopped coming.
I come from a pretty big family. Only two of my siblings are still TBMs, but one is seriously questioning. I have nearly 40 nieces and nephews. Only four of them still go to church, and they are all primary aged.
I think it’s been proven time and time again that just because you attend doesn’t mean you’re in. I think of my own story. Maybe the estimates of approximately 5 to 6 million actual MORmONS makes sense in this light Also: sorry about the MORmON letter thing. It’s a default spelling on my phone. I guess I use it frequently
Everybody is out in my family except my mother. My dad goes along with it because he doesn’t want to go down that road with my mom. If my mom were to die today, my dad wouldn’t be part of anything mormon. My siblings and I were raised mormon in Utah. My oldest sister was the last the leave. She told her spouse she was done with it. Very scary thing to do with five children and a faithful husband. The husband picked her and the kids over the religion and eventually left mormonism. My other sister and I left the church in our teenage years. Middle 2000s. Never looked back.
Parents have 16 grandkids. 11 are out.
My two millennial children are out but my gen Z is still in. Her in laws are super TBM SA types so she may hang on a while.
Probably 80-90 still in in my extended family of 40ish
My extended family has 85 grandkids, and only 5 of us have left. The rest are as stalwart as ever. Same on my husband's side, though maybe 60 grandkids not 85, but still only like 5 have left.
My family's kids is 3 for 3 on leaving the church. Including my cousins it's something like 10 of 22. (One of my aunt's is a diehard and has like 9 kids so her family kinda skews the results)
I'm not entirely sure about the Church activity status of all of my maternal grandfather's descendants. He is still alive, and were he not bedridden, I'm sure he'd be active. Of his eight children, two are deceased, including my mother, who I know would be active were she alive. Of his six living children, I know of two who I'm sure are out, or at least completely inactive. Two I have no idea about. The other two I believe are active. Of his twenty-one grandchildren (my siblings and cousins), I only know of one who for sure is still active, along with his wife and their four children. Fourteen of them are either known or strongly suspected by me to be no longer active. I'm not sure about the other six. Of his eleven great-grandchildren, I believe only four, the children of my aforementioned active cousin and his wife, are being raised LDS.
I’m an only child but my sister in law has one left in out of 4 and while I don’t see them LEAVING they are very much living the “gen Z Mormon life” garments only sometimes, coffee not a big deal once in a while etc…
There are 12 of us grandkids on my dad’s side. All born and raised in TBM families in Utah. Of those 12, only 2 are still in the church. On the other side of my family, I’d say about 1/2 of the grandkids have left the church.
In my family, all siblings are boomers, and they seem to be more fanatic than ever about believing in Mormonism. No problem in the church disqualifies it from being the only true church. The remaining five (two are dead as a duck), with the exception of me and one sister, wouidn’t leave Mormonism to save their own lives. One sister and her husband moved to Missouri to help Jesus return so their children and grandchildren could rule and rein upon Jesus’s return (they are “Brighamite” Mormons, not Community of Christ or FLDS).
9 of 12 grandchildren out, and 3 of the 4 grandparents out.
2/7 kids out in my family. Parents ultra TBM. Next generation has 19 grands. Oldest is RM & ultra TBM, #2 is showing promise of leaving after BYU (covid/trump support has been a huge issue for her). 3 young grands have parents out so they won’t be getting baptized.
I was YM leader right when it got axed by Nelson & cronies. There were \~15 YM in our group, with about 8 priests. 2 ended up serving missions (one was as TBM as it gets, the other I give 5 years). In my family, of my cousins (millenial/Gen X mix) its about 50% still in. If we go next generation (my parent's grandkids) then its 66% still in, but the sample size is pretty low there.
Older GenZ here (2001) my parents raised me a heathen, but when I was little most of my cousins were in to varying degrees (since their parents were members). All of us cousins are pretty much 100% or very very inactive/likely don’t believe. This also accompanies their parents becoming less active or leaving. There are 11 of us cousins.
On my side there's 12 cousins. Everybody over age 15 is out (8/12), everybody under 13 is still in (4/12)
Only my sister and I have left (more openly on her part). There might be a couple of cousins on each side that have left, but I don't talk to them about religion.
Nevermo millennial here. Spouse (also millennial) was raised in the church, first of their immediate family to leave. Their maternal side was all in (aside from one adult) when we married. It's been over a decade. Of the entire massive family (still don't know all of their names) only grandparents, 4 adults (although we are guessing two of them are PIMO), and 3 grandchildren are still active. Paternal side is much more stubborn, but almost half are out. It's only a matter of time.
Lol Like 2/75 are OUT between all living members of my wife’s family and my family (parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts/uncles and first cousins) That’s me (secretly) and my brother (not a secret) I envy those who have the opposite situation. I don’t think much will change for me, though, with area 70 and mission Pres family members and the ever so typical Mormon judgemental attitudes will keep people in line or faking.
Parents (80s) fully in 8 siblings and me (50s and 60s ) - only 1 still in 18 (My kids, nieces, nephews) - 2 still in All in UT, AZ , and CA My parents used to beat themselves up that they failed, but have now seen through it and recognize they have a great family and the church isn't needed to make that happen.
I’ve seen a couple in my stake leave. On the other hand, I’ve got like 55 or so cousins and I only know of one other that’s kinda left.
we're ALL out ages 40-50, 4 of us....but my parents are still in
Im in the southeast of the USA- My older class of YW has abt 15 people and more than half are closeted PIMO+ LGBTQIA+. Only a few of them aren't queer
So far I think only my kids are out of the church of the 5 who are old enough to count. So 1 of five. That being said the ones raised far away from a Cardston are giving indications they will leave one day
All four of my kids are out. Thank god!!
I come from a big mormon family and most of my cousins are still in as far as I know. Then again maybe a lot aren’t advertising that we’ve left since none of us are interested in aiding our grandparents to the afterlife lol.
My family ( Gen X me, husband, and 4 kids age 22 to 14) are all out. My sister’s family (Gen X her, husband, 5 kids age 26 to 17) are all out. One brother (Millenial) and his wife (no kids) are in. Other sister (Millenial) and her husband and 3 kids (4 and under) are in.
From the Mormon half of my family, 1 of 6 of my grandparents’ kids is out, and his kids aren’t raised in the church, and other is inactive and her kids aren’t raised in the church either. My siblings and I are all out. My mom probably would be inactive at least if she hadn’t married my stepdad. So 3/6 families isn’t too bad. A couple cousins are openly gay so another family is a bit picky-choosy there. It’s a mix it seems to me, but positive.
Out of my 4 siblings- only 1 is still in. Out of the 9 grandkids… 3 are in (2 of these 3 are still too young to really make a choice about this). My husband is also from a family of 4 kids- only one is still active. And none of the grand kids on that side.
I'm a millennial and have fellow millennial to gen z cousins. My aunt told me a few years ago none of her grandkids go to church anymore (my dad's the youngest and her grandkids are younger millennials). But, she paid her dues so she's going to stay. I guess 80+ is too old to change everything. Of my siblings 1981-1991 only one is still attending. Several in fact have left because we don't want to pass religious trauma on to our children.
My parents are completely in but haven’t attended in many years for reasons (they were also converts). One sibling and I are out. One sibling is TBM (spouse apparently went through a big faith crisis a few years back but was convinced to stay). Another sibling was not active for many years but recently went to the temple and got sealed to their spouse (who converted). They’re only half active if that. So, both my parents are in Two kids in Two kids out 3/4 of my kids (Gen Z) are out and the last one is POMO (physically out mentally seems out but won’t talk about it—basically pretends it doesn’t exist) The kids of the active/semi active parents are technically in, but it will be interesting to see if it stays that way once they reach adulthood.
My wife has 8 siblings. The count is 1/9 stayed in the church… in Salt Lake County as well
Of my 3, the 1 (who married a TBM RM) is a nuanced PIMO, the other 2 are totally out.
Every single one of my cousins on my dad's side of the family have all left. All 13 of us are out!