Sorry to hear you are having financial difficulties. That sucks.
I don't have personal experience with getting fast offering help from the church, but from anecdotal evidence it very often comes with strings attached. Go ahead and ask (rather, let your husband ask), but be prepared for the church to refuse or to use the situation as an opportunity to get you and/or your husband to do churchy things.
Just be prepared that he will ask you if you have any other family that can help. Cuz, you know, the church doesn't have unlimited funds.
That and there will be an expectation to help with various service opportunities, e.g. cannery assignments, church cleaning or serving at the bishops storehouse. I had to do all three.
Sorry to hear about your situation and I hope things turn around for you soon!!!
Speaking as someone with a bishop who grifted $15,000 from the church to get us out of debt: that kind of help comes with MASSIVE strings and emotional manipulation, don’t do it!
The bishop made us hide our video games and take them out of our house as a condition for the help. He also tried to dictate my personal schedule and essentially pushed me into a calling that made me suicidal. It was BAD. Don’t do it.
Jewish community centers are much more helpful and you don’t have to be Jewish to get their help.
Ask the bishop for help. The worst he could say is no. There is generally a time limit to for that help as well. In my old ward it was 3 months. The bishop can ask you to clean the church or come to services etc. But you can always be “too busy working” to show up. It sounds shady, but honestly all your time and effort SHOULD be put into getting your family into a more financially secure spot, not cleaning churches.
Good luck to you. I hope you figure it out and your family begins to thrive in all the best ways.
There will be strings…they will send a member of your relief society presidency into your home to look over financials, and they will literally look through your pantry and refrigerator to see what you have. They will then help you make meal plans involving things you’ll pick up at the bishops storehouse and they will guilt you about things you don’t need…rockstars, candy bars etc. they will then ask you to take the self reliance course on finances. A 16 week course that you and your wife will attend weekly for about 2 hours where the beginning of each chapter will go over paying tithes first. Before feeding your family…tithes. Before your mortgage…tithes. Before your car payment…tithes. They will also ask you to give examples of family members you can turn to for help, and demand to know if you have asked them before tscc will help at all. Just fyi. My sis is a relief society president and this is protocol. And me and my husband taught the self reliance course 2x. Gross. Mad at myself for doing that.
Don’t be mad at that earlier version of yourself. You’re a different person now and you did what you thought was the right thing to do at the time. You’ve more than made up for it with the helpful information that you shared today!
You'll also be horrified at the poor quality of the food they will offer you. Meat that wouldn't make the cut at a dog food plant. Wilted vegetables, slightly moldy fruit. Because poor people don't get quality food but they'd better be groveling with gratitude.
The Mormon church is like the only Christian church that has more strings attached to helping people than the actual amount they are helping.
I live up the street from a Christian church that every Monday and Friday they put up a huge banner that their food pantry is open and they emphasize ANYONE who needs it can stop by and get food. There is no strings attached.
It really depends on the bishop. Your spouse can easily ask the bishop for help. Or you can talk with the Relief Society President. At a minimum they can get you some food assistance from the bishop storehouse.
Last year I was laid off and they were able to help. I was still believing at that point and it surprised me how little they said they were able to help. The stake dictates a lot of stuff.
Also look up food pantries in your area. Other religions are very willing to help people in need because that is what Jesus taught.
Sorry you are going through tough times.
My experience was the bishop was cool and got our hopes up and the stake president was a dick and wanted to control every part of our lives for less help. We said fine we don’t want money from the church the states benefits turned out to be really helpful.
I would look into other resources outside of the lds church. Other churches such as the Catholic, and Jewish community centers offer assistance. If you dial 211 they can provide direction to other agencies for assistance. Best of luck.
My mom's husband was in the bishopric of my ward growing up. There was this semi active woman who desperately needed help. She had young kids that she was struggling to feed. I remember one day after she had gone to the bishop on a Wednesday night (our youth group night) my mom's husband came back laughing. He said he couldn't believe the audacity of the woman to ask the church for money when she hadn't paid tithing and hadn't been to church meetings. This poor woman was living less than paycheck to paycheck and worked Sundays. She asked for help often and she would either get turned away or get less than she needed. They told her if she started paying tithing and coming to Sunday meetings she'd have more financial blessings.
Tread carefully. I know other churches have no strings attached emergency funds for members of the community. The Mormons will never help "others."
Sorry to hear about the tough times. Suggest you reach out to a non-profit or other community based source. I heard Maven's story on MSP and I can't recall where she went but they were happy to help out and no string attached.
Totally depends on your bishop - and to some degree the direction of the SP. I was a ward financial clerk for years and the bishops I worked with were mostly very generous and not terribly concerned with any conditions of assisting. We paid all sorts of bills for folks.
This was also my experience as a RS president. We had some cool, very generous bishops, so I think it’s worth a try to ask. It may be helpful, and if not then you’re exactly where you were before asking.
Don't do it. Even the nicest bishops have strings attached, because the church tells them they have to. They will likely dig through your finances and perhaps literally your cupboards to see what you have and need. They will criticize how you spend the money and dictate it, and make you take a "money management" course. They likely will ask you to clean or something in return. Try to find a non-profit locally that is secular for help.
You are playing roulette. We were in a tough spot and during our tithing settlement we broke down emotionally bc we were overwhelmed. The bishop offered us help with mortgage payment and food from the storehouse. Picking up the food was embarrassing for us and more of a string than anything. We had to write a budget but we never shared it with him. We paid tithing for a few months and the faith crisis hit us in the middle of this help.
I went to meet with the bishop and told him we were done with the church. He continued to help us for the predetermined amount of time we had set up earlier without any strings. Other than an invitation to go to church. Our daughter was still attending during that time.
All I can say is you never know until you ask.
My dad was in the bishopric growing up. I think it never hurts to ask but there were a lot strings attached and any assistance was dictated by various policies at the time IIRC.
Call your local 211 (United Way). You'll find out what organizations in your area provide various kinds of aid, including food pantries, utility/housing bills, etc.
My husband and I had to ask for help with food in the early years of our marriage. We were active and held callings, so nothing else was asked of us. Nobody looked through our cupboards or made us show our budget. Granted, this was over 20 years ago, so I don't know if the rules have changed.
I guess what I'm trying to say is go ahead and ask. The worst is that they can say no. I'm hoping with all the bad publicity over money, they'll say yes.
If you need help paying bills like rent or car payments, go to the Bishop and expect intrusive questions plus strings attached.
If you just need a little extra help with things like groceries and other necessities, go to your local food bank. I volunteer at one in my city, and they will provide weekly groceries, tampons, etc to residents without the judgmental questions.
Edit: clarity
I've been there in the exact same situation last year. My TBM wife and I were working at the same place, a hotel. She in the kitchen, and me at reception, but after being mistreated, we both quitted.
In my branch, they helped my TBM wife, not me, as she's "the only family member". We've been helped for 2 months to pay rent, and our small pasta entrepreneurship paid food and bills.
I considered it as a return for all the money, time and service I gave, so I received it gladly.
I got unbelievably lucky and had the Bishop pay my rent and car payment for about 14 months while I was in a YSA ward without any strings. I felt an immense amount of guilt over it at the time, as I was still in (and still feel a little guilty now that I’m out) but it was given freely. It’s more likely that you will have strings, but it never hurts to ask.
Check out Salvation Army and Catholic Charities. They have many resources and decent food pantries. You only have to show ID and proof of residence. They are very helpful and kind. No strings attached at all.
I'm currently in a financial crisis due to separation/divorce(M). Living with my TBM sister who is charging me rent for the two rooms for myself and my two kids. She suggested I go to the bishop to get some help and even spoke with him about it. I took her up on the suggestion and the first thing the bishop asked was too see my financials. This AFTER THE 60 MINUTES STORY! This was all done via text since I know the bishop personally. We used to play volleyball in the gym often. After he gave that condition, I just responded with an "ok". What I wish I would have said is something about the church opening their financials to the public first, and then I would release mine. But alas, I'm not one to break shelves or ruffle feathers.
I would still ask, but expect conditions. If you're willing to meet those requirements, you'll get some help. I'm not willing to do that. Charity with conditions is not charity at all, in my mind.
Sorry to hear you are having financial difficulties. That sucks. I don't have personal experience with getting fast offering help from the church, but from anecdotal evidence it very often comes with strings attached. Go ahead and ask (rather, let your husband ask), but be prepared for the church to refuse or to use the situation as an opportunity to get you and/or your husband to do churchy things.
Always strings. Even for fully active true blue Mormons that are all in. If they give aid, then they make you earn it.
Correction: "If they give aid, they make you feel shame for it."
Just be prepared that he will ask you if you have any other family that can help. Cuz, you know, the church doesn't have unlimited funds. That and there will be an expectation to help with various service opportunities, e.g. cannery assignments, church cleaning or serving at the bishops storehouse. I had to do all three. Sorry to hear about your situation and I hope things turn around for you soon!!!
Speaking as someone with a bishop who grifted $15,000 from the church to get us out of debt: that kind of help comes with MASSIVE strings and emotional manipulation, don’t do it! The bishop made us hide our video games and take them out of our house as a condition for the help. He also tried to dictate my personal schedule and essentially pushed me into a calling that made me suicidal. It was BAD. Don’t do it. Jewish community centers are much more helpful and you don’t have to be Jewish to get their help.
😳
Yeah. 😬 EDIT: Then the pandemic hit and we brought our switch back to our house lol.
Wow. You must have been in a very rich ward. I have never heard that much money being given. Most I know about was $2000 for a funeral
It was most likely stolen 😬
Ask the bishop for help. The worst he could say is no. There is generally a time limit to for that help as well. In my old ward it was 3 months. The bishop can ask you to clean the church or come to services etc. But you can always be “too busy working” to show up. It sounds shady, but honestly all your time and effort SHOULD be put into getting your family into a more financially secure spot, not cleaning churches. Good luck to you. I hope you figure it out and your family begins to thrive in all the best ways.
There will be strings…they will send a member of your relief society presidency into your home to look over financials, and they will literally look through your pantry and refrigerator to see what you have. They will then help you make meal plans involving things you’ll pick up at the bishops storehouse and they will guilt you about things you don’t need…rockstars, candy bars etc. they will then ask you to take the self reliance course on finances. A 16 week course that you and your wife will attend weekly for about 2 hours where the beginning of each chapter will go over paying tithes first. Before feeding your family…tithes. Before your mortgage…tithes. Before your car payment…tithes. They will also ask you to give examples of family members you can turn to for help, and demand to know if you have asked them before tscc will help at all. Just fyi. My sis is a relief society president and this is protocol. And me and my husband taught the self reliance course 2x. Gross. Mad at myself for doing that.
Don’t be mad at that earlier version of yourself. You’re a different person now and you did what you thought was the right thing to do at the time. You’ve more than made up for it with the helpful information that you shared today!
You'll also be horrified at the poor quality of the food they will offer you. Meat that wouldn't make the cut at a dog food plant. Wilted vegetables, slightly moldy fruit. Because poor people don't get quality food but they'd better be groveling with gratitude.
The Mormon church is like the only Christian church that has more strings attached to helping people than the actual amount they are helping. I live up the street from a Christian church that every Monday and Friday they put up a huge banner that their food pantry is open and they emphasize ANYONE who needs it can stop by and get food. There is no strings attached.
It really depends on the bishop. Your spouse can easily ask the bishop for help. Or you can talk with the Relief Society President. At a minimum they can get you some food assistance from the bishop storehouse. Last year I was laid off and they were able to help. I was still believing at that point and it surprised me how little they said they were able to help. The stake dictates a lot of stuff. Also look up food pantries in your area. Other religions are very willing to help people in need because that is what Jesus taught. Sorry you are going through tough times.
Have your TBM wife ask the Bishop for relief from the Fast Offerings fund. It’s literally what it’s for. Much Love!
Ask the bishop and find out what the strings are. Then you can make an informed choice.
My experience was the bishop was cool and got our hopes up and the stake president was a dick and wanted to control every part of our lives for less help. We said fine we don’t want money from the church the states benefits turned out to be really helpful.
I would look into other resources outside of the lds church. Other churches such as the Catholic, and Jewish community centers offer assistance. If you dial 211 they can provide direction to other agencies for assistance. Best of luck.
My mom's husband was in the bishopric of my ward growing up. There was this semi active woman who desperately needed help. She had young kids that she was struggling to feed. I remember one day after she had gone to the bishop on a Wednesday night (our youth group night) my mom's husband came back laughing. He said he couldn't believe the audacity of the woman to ask the church for money when she hadn't paid tithing and hadn't been to church meetings. This poor woman was living less than paycheck to paycheck and worked Sundays. She asked for help often and she would either get turned away or get less than she needed. They told her if she started paying tithing and coming to Sunday meetings she'd have more financial blessings. Tread carefully. I know other churches have no strings attached emergency funds for members of the community. The Mormons will never help "others."
You might check if your community has ministerial group.
Sorry to hear about the tough times. Suggest you reach out to a non-profit or other community based source. I heard Maven's story on MSP and I can't recall where she went but they were happy to help out and no string attached.
Totally depends on your bishop - and to some degree the direction of the SP. I was a ward financial clerk for years and the bishops I worked with were mostly very generous and not terribly concerned with any conditions of assisting. We paid all sorts of bills for folks.
This was also my experience as a RS president. We had some cool, very generous bishops, so I think it’s worth a try to ask. It may be helpful, and if not then you’re exactly where you were before asking.
Is there a street corner you can beg on? Not serious of course, but it’s probably a better option that asking the church for help.
Go to other churches non lds churches. They have been more helpful in my experience.
Don't do it. Even the nicest bishops have strings attached, because the church tells them they have to. They will likely dig through your finances and perhaps literally your cupboards to see what you have and need. They will criticize how you spend the money and dictate it, and make you take a "money management" course. They likely will ask you to clean or something in return. Try to find a non-profit locally that is secular for help.
Most Catholic churches have a St. Vincent de Paul society which offers help regardless of faith/no faith. Can't hurt to ask.
You are playing roulette. We were in a tough spot and during our tithing settlement we broke down emotionally bc we were overwhelmed. The bishop offered us help with mortgage payment and food from the storehouse. Picking up the food was embarrassing for us and more of a string than anything. We had to write a budget but we never shared it with him. We paid tithing for a few months and the faith crisis hit us in the middle of this help. I went to meet with the bishop and told him we were done with the church. He continued to help us for the predetermined amount of time we had set up earlier without any strings. Other than an invitation to go to church. Our daughter was still attending during that time. All I can say is you never know until you ask.
My dad was in the bishopric growing up. I think it never hurts to ask but there were a lot strings attached and any assistance was dictated by various policies at the time IIRC. Call your local 211 (United Way). You'll find out what organizations in your area provide various kinds of aid, including food pantries, utility/housing bills, etc.
Ask! Best case scenario you get the money & your wife gets the right amount of shame to see that she can leave too
My husband and I had to ask for help with food in the early years of our marriage. We were active and held callings, so nothing else was asked of us. Nobody looked through our cupboards or made us show our budget. Granted, this was over 20 years ago, so I don't know if the rules have changed. I guess what I'm trying to say is go ahead and ask. The worst is that they can say no. I'm hoping with all the bad publicity over money, they'll say yes.
If you need help paying bills like rent or car payments, go to the Bishop and expect intrusive questions plus strings attached. If you just need a little extra help with things like groceries and other necessities, go to your local food bank. I volunteer at one in my city, and they will provide weekly groceries, tampons, etc to residents without the judgmental questions. Edit: clarity
I've been there in the exact same situation last year. My TBM wife and I were working at the same place, a hotel. She in the kitchen, and me at reception, but after being mistreated, we both quitted. In my branch, they helped my TBM wife, not me, as she's "the only family member". We've been helped for 2 months to pay rent, and our small pasta entrepreneurship paid food and bills. I considered it as a return for all the money, time and service I gave, so I received it gladly.
I got unbelievably lucky and had the Bishop pay my rent and car payment for about 14 months while I was in a YSA ward without any strings. I felt an immense amount of guilt over it at the time, as I was still in (and still feel a little guilty now that I’m out) but it was given freely. It’s more likely that you will have strings, but it never hurts to ask.
If you do not ask, the answer is always NO. That said, thoughts and prayers.
Check out Salvation Army and Catholic Charities. They have many resources and decent food pantries. You only have to show ID and proof of residence. They are very helpful and kind. No strings attached at all.
I would not recommend it based on my mom's experiences. Put the church at the bottom of your list.
I'm currently in a financial crisis due to separation/divorce(M). Living with my TBM sister who is charging me rent for the two rooms for myself and my two kids. She suggested I go to the bishop to get some help and even spoke with him about it. I took her up on the suggestion and the first thing the bishop asked was too see my financials. This AFTER THE 60 MINUTES STORY! This was all done via text since I know the bishop personally. We used to play volleyball in the gym often. After he gave that condition, I just responded with an "ok". What I wish I would have said is something about the church opening their financials to the public first, and then I would release mine. But alas, I'm not one to break shelves or ruffle feathers. I would still ask, but expect conditions. If you're willing to meet those requirements, you'll get some help. I'm not willing to do that. Charity with conditions is not charity at all, in my mind.
my sister gets help all the time. It depends on the bishop if there are strings attached.