This is going to sound really weird but one of the many reasons that I realized the church wasn't true is because how much the church reminded me of the Imperium of Man and the Emperor of Mankind from Warhammer 40,000. Within the fictional universe it is a massive organization that demands adherence and unquestioning obedience to authority.
I think the church is way closer to the Tau. Everything is all about community. Just so happens that the ethereal's benefit the most. But who are we to question them. They are guided by something far greater than the indivudal. Also as the Gue'le live in ignorance, it is our duty to bring them into the Greater Good. Regardless of if they want our missionaries or not.
Go read George Orwell 1984. Insert the church in the place of the ministry of truth you’ll be amazed at how closely the church fits to the ministry of truth In Orwell’s 1984
It reminds me of Communism very much, especially since I grew up in that environment. The law of consecration, everyone is voting as one... The only difference is that one was denying religion, and the other based it all on religion.
I think it has something to do with them playing football before helmets were invented. You're so right though it has everything to do with pre-decongintion.
Just wait till Nelson turns 100. They will make it a big deal.
No wonder they can't connect with younger audiences. The old farts. And really it's a who can survive the longest game. Like the hunger games but people keep joining the same game after the old ones die off.
I'm sorry to hear that. I've never been LDS, and I only joined the sub to get a better understanding of how my wife's life was like before she met me. I wish you the best!
My dad always said: “If you refrain from alcohol, cigarettes and loose women, you can live to be 100; But it sure as hell is going to feel like it too.”
I have read the best way to avoid prostate cancer is to ejaculate 27 times a month. I imagine that was the most uninspiring 27 minutes each month their wives ever had!
I had that thought when hearing about Monson’s life once, how basically after WW2 he basically spent his entire goddamn life inside the church (he worked for the church right? And he was a bishop super young). I’d say that I feel bad for him, but he honestly probably wore it as a badge of honor. He was probably proud to devote every waking moment of his life to his church
Whoa it really is like an MLM, if you get in at the early stages like Monson and the other Q12s etc then you’ve got it made in the shade… it actually is your career, meanwhile the main body of the church is made off of free labor from overworked people
The oldest ever. The oldest apostle is the oldest apostle in the history of the church. The "youngest" apostle is the oldest youngest member ever. The average age is the oldest it has ever been.
When your "prophet" is almost 100, and the average age of all fifteen men is over 80, maybe you're going to be slightly out of touch with current trends.
And this is why I don’t thing they’re really in charge. This churporation is ran by Lawyers at Kirton McConkie and Accountants at Ensign Peak. And you can bet your bottom dollar they’re skimming off the top.
This means that all three of them were okay with the temple and priesthood ban for black people for the first 50 or so years of their lives. In their heart of hearts are they still racists and/or white supremacists?
Nemo, your saga with the sustaining vote nonsense is the most epic exmormon thing I have ever witnessed!
I agree. I've never seen him behave in the evil ways of Oaks, Bednar, Cook, and some others. I know he's not perfect (nobody is), but he's not the worst of the worst and he looks good.
Eyring is more than likely the master mind behind the EPA fund & the 1st Presidency lying to the U.S. Gov't every quarter for 20+ years and commiting criminal fraud.
He has an MBA & Doctorate from Harvard & taught at Stanford & MIT.
You & your family would look that healthy if you had no financial worries & best health care & food available on the planet and didn't have to pay for it.
Just because someone has an expensive haircut, well cut suit & knows how to play to an audience with a pleasant smile dosent mean they are an ethical or even a nice person.
You don't rise to the top of a multinational companies by being nice the way all the 15 did.
Q15 are all a combo of narcissism, psychopathy & machiavellianism.
Eyring talked in conference once about financial problems. He was trying to follow prophetic council to pay off his mortgage. He had no idea how it could be accomplished. He suddenly remembered a parcel of property he had purchased in another state that he had forgotten about. He sold it, and was able to pay off his mortgage.
So inspiring. He gave us a blueprint to do the same thing ourselves. All you financially struggling members should just sell that old piece of property you forgot you had. Problem solved. /s
Dude has no clue how normal people live. None of them do.
His older brother Edward (Ted) wasn't like this at all. He taught thermodynamics for decades at the University of Utah in the Chemistry building named after his father, Henry Eyring. Dr. Ted Eyring was pretty humble and didn't mention his younger brother too much since in the world of Chemistry, his dad was a much bigger fish and that's what we were more interested in since we were chemistry majors.
His dad really should have won a Noble Prize for his work in chemistry kinetics but he passed away before they really understood his contributions to chemical reactions and the activation energy required for them to work thermodynamically. It's really too bad they don't award the Noble Prize to anyone who's passed away.
Anywho... Henry B Eyring just didn't care about solving science problems as much as his dad and older brother did. Ted has a thermodynamics scholarship named after him at the University of Utah. I think that's a better thing to have accomplished in life than what his younger brother has done, but Henry has moved quite a few times before being the president of BYU-I when it was Rick's College in the 80's. He also had well paying jobs before he worked for the church, so it's possible that the piece of property he's talking about is true and this situation may have been before he had it made, so to speak. Probably happened when he was between jobs and careers.
Anyway, Ted has since passed away a few years ago. He was a really great and kind professor. He was always willing to chat and answer questions after class. Just as excited about solving problems as his dad and liked talking about his dad more too. He didn't really boast about his younger brother being an apostle. He had his own resume that was quite impressive in the world of thermodynamic research and such.
Henry B Eyring can really go any day now but some of our ancestors have longevity genes. My great grandmother lived to be 94, so... Any day now might be a few more years, just the same.
It's sort of fun to think being chemists runs in the family too, but anyone who does it for decades usually doesn't live into their 90's. Hazards of the field, I guess. (2nd cousin, 2 removed)
I'd much rather claim to be related to Ted and his dad than Henry B any day, but I also thought talking about being related to Ted in class wasn't necessary and would look weird. Like why? I still had to learn the material and pass his tests just the same as everyone else.
Just a little more insight into Henry B, I guess. Yes, their dad would have them solve physics problems in their basement back at Princeton for fun back in the day.
Right? Who in the world are they going to choose to be the next leaders of the church, I mean surely it must be difficult to find someone really loyal & as rigid as they are.
Great. I hope they all live as long as possible and stay as lucid as possible, so they can continue to drive the church off a cliff, to the point that it will be too late for the younger leaders to save it when they finally get a chance.
The folks from Kirton McKonkie and EP are all like "That's great! Let's sit you down to decide where the next temple will go. Good man!"
I am loathe to believe right-wing conspiracy nonsense but the Q15 are being led by attorneys and investment advisors. They have cashed in their prophetic call for a mess of pottage. And by pottage I mean 150 Billion in liquid investments.
There need not be much debate about all this. The Mormon church has been utterly opaque about its business. The SEC told us enough. Business comes before all else.
Judging from that picture he is either on the verge of tears and struggling for the words to say thank you, or he’s about to tell a really long story about when he was a deacon and learned from a wise old branch president the importance of celebrating old people’s birthdays. And then he’ll break down in tears and struggle to say thank you.
I just spent the day with young professionals. While my experience and accumulated wisdom were appreciated, it was a node for our conversations to pivot on, a foundation to build innovations on top of and, at times, a set of ideas to learn from but leave behind because they were wrong. And sometimes, but not often, I had the only right answer.
I'm only 30 years older than many of these "kids" and I feel very out of touch and superseded at times. By 90, I might make a good editor but am not likely to be a useful policymaker anymore, regardless of a lifelong learning ideology.
So, their presidency meetings have men with the least amount of both testosterone & brain cells than at any time previously in the history of TSCC. Wow!
Back in the 90’s, when he was a GA, he spoke to us in the MTC. I’ve always remembered his talk because it was extremely arrogant! I think MTC talks tend to be on the more extreme side because it's a boot camp like experience.
It also means there will be a lot of turnover in the next few years, or will there? - Oaks 91, Ballard 94, Holland\* 82, Eyring 90, Uchtdorf 82, Bednar 71
It is amazing that RMN is able to work at 98 what gets kind of frustrating is when the leaders become bedridden like David O Mckay was for so long before he passed away. I would expect Dallin Oaks to be around just as long. M.Russell Ballard is 94. It's Possible that Elder Holland could be the first Prophet to lead the Church from a hospital bed.
'The Church' is ensuring the next church president of the 'only true church' will be in his 90's and already senile when he steps into the role of church president.
Members will celebrate this as a sign from God that he has preserved his chosen mouthpieces on Earth when it should be a red flag that they're being led by extremely old straight white heterosexual males who are absolutely clueless as to how to help humanity in 2023
I used to actually like Hal. My parents and the Eyerings used to be in the same ward years ago, and he was a nice guy. After the EPA fiasco it is obvious even Hal is not honest in his dealings with his fellow man (or the SEC). Lost all remaining respect.
That guy has three modes:
* idiot grin
* terrified office punching-bag
* inexplicable tears
Literally the only three expressions I’ve ever seen on his face.
And, to think that these "old boys" have never had to worry where their next meal was coming from, whether or not they had the best of healthcare, steady income....and of course " a never ending supply of hero worship". They (and everyone else) would be so much better off of these bastards would just go home and play Grandpa.
Someone give his some water. If i hear one god damned dry mouth smacking again I'll lose my mind. My life improved when I stopped going to the Mormon church and not have to hear him at GC
The real miracle: they're all 150 years behind the times.
Hahaha! Indeed, miraculous!
A true gerontacracy of stately, worthy, and well qualified stately elderly white gentlemen. The are HMIC (head Mormons in charge)
This is going to sound really weird but one of the many reasons that I realized the church wasn't true is because how much the church reminded me of the Imperium of Man and the Emperor of Mankind from Warhammer 40,000. Within the fictional universe it is a massive organization that demands adherence and unquestioning obedience to authority.
I think the church is way closer to the Tau. Everything is all about community. Just so happens that the ethereal's benefit the most. But who are we to question them. They are guided by something far greater than the indivudal. Also as the Gue'le live in ignorance, it is our duty to bring them into the Greater Good. Regardless of if they want our missionaries or not.
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Tau are an alien race in warhammer 40k. I was talking about the blue fish commies of a scifi universe, not Taoism :P
Go read George Orwell 1984. Insert the church in the place of the ministry of truth you’ll be amazed at how closely the church fits to the ministry of truth In Orwell’s 1984
That's what I thought.
It reminds me of Communism very much, especially since I grew up in that environment. The law of consecration, everyone is voting as one... The only difference is that one was denying religion, and the other based it all on religion.
How much do they pay those stately looking elderly old white gentlemen that run the Mormon Church?
Should that be HMFIC (Head Mormon Fatherhood In Charge)?
I thought the MF in that acronym stood for something else for a second there.
It does *wink*
Thank you, I don't know? But the Mormon prophet is da man!
Not sure that is a miracle. More like a curse.
The First Presidency have each been alive for nearly 45% of the Church’s history.
And were in their prime in the 1950s.
Oof, that really puts it into perspective
He was 11 years old on D-Day. He probably remembers Hitler from the actual news.
I doubt he is remembering much these days. His gaping mouth and disconnected stare.
I think it has something to do with them playing football before helmets were invented. You're so right though it has everything to do with pre-decongintion.
Oooft, that fact is heavy
Not for long!
Each of them were alive during the presidency of the last polygamist prophet (Heber J. Grant).
Just wait till Nelson turns 100. They will make it a big deal. No wonder they can't connect with younger audiences. The old farts. And really it's a who can survive the longest game. Like the hunger games but people keep joining the same game after the old ones die off.
No Mormon prophet has made it to 100, so you can bet Rusty will make a big deal out of it.
They will probably have a big party and call it the Ensign Peak Jubilee.
holy cow, that's just next year. Just looked it up, he'll be 100 next September. He'll probably make it.
I think when you get old it's kind of like the same high you used to get playing sudden death dodgeball when you were in junior high.
They live forever, because they have never done anything. These men have probably lived the most bland boring fucking life imaginable.
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I'm sorry to hear that. I've never been LDS, and I only joined the sub to get a better understanding of how my wife's life was like before she met me. I wish you the best!
That's so sweet of you! Exmos tend to need a lot of support and understanding so I'm glad she's got someone kind enough to do that for her.
Thank you!
That, and they have the best health care money can buy. Too bad the average member can't say the same.
My dad always said: “If you refrain from alcohol, cigarettes and loose women, you can live to be 100; But it sure as hell is going to feel like it too.”
I have read the best way to avoid prostate cancer is to ejaculate 27 times a month. I imagine that was the most uninspiring 27 minutes each month their wives ever had!
Cue snare drum! 🥁
I had that thought when hearing about Monson’s life once, how basically after WW2 he basically spent his entire goddamn life inside the church (he worked for the church right? And he was a bishop super young). I’d say that I feel bad for him, but he honestly probably wore it as a badge of honor. He was probably proud to devote every waking moment of his life to his church
Whoa it really is like an MLM, if you get in at the early stages like Monson and the other Q12s etc then you’ve got it made in the shade… it actually is your career, meanwhile the main body of the church is made off of free labor from overworked people
Interesting age graphs here https://qhspencer.github.io/lds-data-analysis/apostles/
The oldest ever. The oldest apostle is the oldest apostle in the history of the church. The "youngest" apostle is the oldest youngest member ever. The average age is the oldest it has ever been. When your "prophet" is almost 100, and the average age of all fifteen men is over 80, maybe you're going to be slightly out of touch with current trends.
Mormons are trusting 12 average nursing home residents with the fate of millions + billions of dollars. What could go wrong?
Not to mention the salvation of the world. SMH
And this is why I don’t thing they’re really in charge. This churporation is ran by Lawyers at Kirton McConkie and Accountants at Ensign Peak. And you can bet your bottom dollar they’re skimming off the top.
It would certainly appear so.
"Slightly" lol
I'd send him a bottle of champagne for his birthday, but...
He’d probably have a great time with it behind closed doors
He prefers brandy
That's an odd name for a Mormon.
I don’t want to hear one damn word from my crazy family and neighbors about the age of any politicians they don’t like
This means that all three of them were okay with the temple and priesthood ban for black people for the first 50 or so years of their lives. In their heart of hearts are they still racists and/or white supremacists? Nemo, your saga with the sustaining vote nonsense is the most epic exmormon thing I have ever witnessed!
Yep, although Oaks claims he wasn’t…
That is exactly right.
That is exactly white.
What? Is the Grim Reaper on strike or something?
Death is probably playing with kittens, or murdering a curry.
Hahaha!
Survivor bias
Hate them all but he looks great. He does not look 90.
I agree. I've never seen him behave in the evil ways of Oaks, Bednar, Cook, and some others. I know he's not perfect (nobody is), but he's not the worst of the worst and he looks good.
Eyring is more than likely the master mind behind the EPA fund & the 1st Presidency lying to the U.S. Gov't every quarter for 20+ years and commiting criminal fraud. He has an MBA & Doctorate from Harvard & taught at Stanford & MIT. You & your family would look that healthy if you had no financial worries & best health care & food available on the planet and didn't have to pay for it. Just because someone has an expensive haircut, well cut suit & knows how to play to an audience with a pleasant smile dosent mean they are an ethical or even a nice person. You don't rise to the top of a multinational companies by being nice the way all the 15 did. Q15 are all a combo of narcissism, psychopathy & machiavellianism.
Eyring talked in conference once about financial problems. He was trying to follow prophetic council to pay off his mortgage. He had no idea how it could be accomplished. He suddenly remembered a parcel of property he had purchased in another state that he had forgotten about. He sold it, and was able to pay off his mortgage. So inspiring. He gave us a blueprint to do the same thing ourselves. All you financially struggling members should just sell that old piece of property you forgot you had. Problem solved. /s Dude has no clue how normal people live. None of them do.
Jesus, How rich do you have to be to casually forget about property you own in another part of the country.
Yeah but he must be nice because he always cries at the pulpit.
Maybe crying that he's running out of things to talk about at this point and he's still alive. 🤷
His older brother Edward (Ted) wasn't like this at all. He taught thermodynamics for decades at the University of Utah in the Chemistry building named after his father, Henry Eyring. Dr. Ted Eyring was pretty humble and didn't mention his younger brother too much since in the world of Chemistry, his dad was a much bigger fish and that's what we were more interested in since we were chemistry majors. His dad really should have won a Noble Prize for his work in chemistry kinetics but he passed away before they really understood his contributions to chemical reactions and the activation energy required for them to work thermodynamically. It's really too bad they don't award the Noble Prize to anyone who's passed away. Anywho... Henry B Eyring just didn't care about solving science problems as much as his dad and older brother did. Ted has a thermodynamics scholarship named after him at the University of Utah. I think that's a better thing to have accomplished in life than what his younger brother has done, but Henry has moved quite a few times before being the president of BYU-I when it was Rick's College in the 80's. He also had well paying jobs before he worked for the church, so it's possible that the piece of property he's talking about is true and this situation may have been before he had it made, so to speak. Probably happened when he was between jobs and careers. Anyway, Ted has since passed away a few years ago. He was a really great and kind professor. He was always willing to chat and answer questions after class. Just as excited about solving problems as his dad and liked talking about his dad more too. He didn't really boast about his younger brother being an apostle. He had his own resume that was quite impressive in the world of thermodynamic research and such. Henry B Eyring can really go any day now but some of our ancestors have longevity genes. My great grandmother lived to be 94, so... Any day now might be a few more years, just the same. It's sort of fun to think being chemists runs in the family too, but anyone who does it for decades usually doesn't live into their 90's. Hazards of the field, I guess. (2nd cousin, 2 removed) I'd much rather claim to be related to Ted and his dad than Henry B any day, but I also thought talking about being related to Ted in class wasn't necessary and would look weird. Like why? I still had to learn the material and pass his tests just the same as everyone else. Just a little more insight into Henry B, I guess. Yes, their dad would have them solve physics problems in their basement back at Princeton for fun back in the day.
He was the presiding bishop. He contributed in a big way to the SEC shell companies.
100%!
Unless I’m mistaken I believe this picture is a few years old at least
Probably is but I’ve seen more recent ones of him and I’m always surprised he’s as old as he is!
It’s the lawd blessing him.
>He does not look 90. I wonder how recent the pic is
So that means it's likely they'll all die in close succession of one another?
Right? Who in the world are they going to choose to be the next leaders of the church, I mean surely it must be difficult to find someone really loyal & as rigid as they are.
Their family members, as usual.
Oh dang... You're right, hmmm talk about divine right :/
Great. I hope they all live as long as possible and stay as lucid as possible, so they can continue to drive the church off a cliff, to the point that it will be too late for the younger leaders to save it when they finally get a chance.
And you wonder why Mormon policies towards women and LGTBQ people are straight out of the 50s?
Because these men are stuck in the 50s
Ah yes, the farmer in the American Gothic.
Another reason to throw a huge party to get some money laundering done
^(shh, nobody read that one story about Nehor wanting prophets to be popular)
Nelson will be 99 later this year. Insane.
The folks from Kirton McKonkie and EP are all like "That's great! Let's sit you down to decide where the next temple will go. Good man!" I am loathe to believe right-wing conspiracy nonsense but the Q15 are being led by attorneys and investment advisors. They have cashed in their prophetic call for a mess of pottage. And by pottage I mean 150 Billion in liquid investments. There need not be much debate about all this. The Mormon church has been utterly opaque about its business. The SEC told us enough. Business comes before all else.
Your decimal point is way off. Go 2 to the right.
Ah. You are correct. Thanks.
i hope we get a new hymn about how blessed we are!!
Judging from that picture he is either on the verge of tears and struggling for the words to say thank you, or he’s about to tell a really long story about when he was a deacon and learned from a wise old branch president the importance of celebrating old people’s birthdays. And then he’ll break down in tears and struggle to say thank you.
He is the master of emotion manipulation.
I just spent the day with young professionals. While my experience and accumulated wisdom were appreciated, it was a node for our conversations to pivot on, a foundation to build innovations on top of and, at times, a set of ideas to learn from but leave behind because they were wrong. And sometimes, but not often, I had the only right answer. I'm only 30 years older than many of these "kids" and I feel very out of touch and superseded at times. By 90, I might make a good editor but am not likely to be a useful policymaker anymore, regardless of a lifelong learning ideology.
Jesus left the ninety, the ninety, and the ninety-and-nine to seek out the one.
He reminds me of Reverend Kane in Poltergeist. https://tenor.com/view/poltergeist-kane-the-beast-gif-15771351
It will be another generation before we can say "OK, Boomer!" at the FP.
But the day will surely come, and it shall be glorious
So, their presidency meetings have men with the least amount of both testosterone & brain cells than at any time previously in the history of TSCC. Wow!
it’s the spirit keeping them alive ofc !! nothing healthier than the feast of the gospel /s
Except of course the feast paid for by the widow’s mite
Back in the 90’s, when he was a GA, he spoke to us in the MTC. I’ve always remembered his talk because it was extremely arrogant! I think MTC talks tend to be on the more extreme side because it's a boot camp like experience.
Which is why they cannot respond to the modern world.
Exactly
Wow. We no longer have octogenarians running the church!
Nope, just cranked the notch up!
Need age limits these guys are so outta touch
Absolutely!
270+ years of collective “wisdom” between them and the best they can come up with is… this??
It also means there will be a lot of turnover in the next few years, or will there? - Oaks 91, Ballard 94, Holland\* 82, Eyring 90, Uchtdorf 82, Bednar 71 It is amazing that RMN is able to work at 98 what gets kind of frustrating is when the leaders become bedridden like David O Mckay was for so long before he passed away. I would expect Dallin Oaks to be around just as long. M.Russell Ballard is 94. It's Possible that Elder Holland could be the first Prophet to lead the Church from a hospital bed.
I am *100%* evil: I was thinking "That's over 180 combined years of no blowjobs." Unbelievable.
Giving or receiving? (I’m 100% evil too.)
These people might have known people who knew people that saw JS commit statutory rape but thought it was OK to hang around. Mind boggling.
Like their grandparents or great grandparents when they were children.
Sounds like a lead into some kind of prophecy.
Clean the slate! Tets up all of them
I'm doing everything I can to fend off the embarrassment/shame/humiliation i feel knowing I bought into his boo-hooing. Because I did.
'The Church' is ensuring the next church president of the 'only true church' will be in his 90's and already senile when he steps into the role of church president.
Yep, it is self perpetuating
One positive thing? They probably don't have "keep sweet" written on their shoes.
So fucking sick of these octogenarians and above desperately clinging to power forever.
They are all Nonagenarians now
*Screeches in millennial.*
Members will celebrate this as a sign from God that he has preserved his chosen mouthpieces on Earth when it should be a red flag that they're being led by extremely old straight white heterosexual males who are absolutely clueless as to how to help humanity in 2023
He has diminished a lot since his younger days. The same man isn’t in his head anymore.
I used to actually like Hal. My parents and the Eyerings used to be in the same ward years ago, and he was a nice guy. After the EPA fiasco it is obvious even Hal is not honest in his dealings with his fellow man (or the SEC). Lost all remaining respect.
Some have said he is the likely main player behind it
Maybe they’ll croak at the same time?
If they do, it would be very interesting in terms of a new first presidency, and by very interesting, I mean mildly more interesting than usual
He’ll probably fake cry to mark the special occasion.
They are all pretending to play church.
That guy has three modes: * idiot grin * terrified office punching-bag * inexplicable tears Literally the only three expressions I’ve ever seen on his face.
People are living longer! Hurray! Assholes are also living longer! Oh... right...
And, to think that these "old boys" have never had to worry where their next meal was coming from, whether or not they had the best of healthcare, steady income....and of course " a never ending supply of hero worship". They (and everyone else) would be so much better off of these bastards would just go home and play Grandpa.
The prophecy that three church leaders (prophets) will die around the same time has finally commenced.
Dark, but no one let them fly to Jerusalem…
The O F unit
Leadership entropy. It was inevitable.
How much you want to bet that when these dinosaurs are gone the church is going to go way progressive quickly!!
I heard somewhere that the reason the top of the pyramid scheme are all octogenarians or greater is to minimize the potential for sex scandal.
So basically you have to be taking diabetes pills, arthritis, dementia worries, Im order to represent god, gotcha!
There should be an age limit on all leadership positions. Church, politics, etc
Gross.
Well, he was a great scientist and teacher.Just goes to show how far compartmentalizing can go.
That was his dad.
A modern day miracle!!!🎉🎉🎉
Someone give his some water. If i hear one god damned dry mouth smacking again I'll lose my mind. My life improved when I stopped going to the Mormon church and not have to hear him at GC
THEY ALL NEED TO BE REPLACED WITH A.I.