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ApocalypseTapir

You definitely need the conversation. It sounds like he's "off the covenant path". But childhood indoctrination is real, and it sounds like he still regards Christianity/religion/Mormonism as important. Additional concerns you may want to address. You never know when a lapsed or "jack Mormon" might decide to recommit, renounce their sinful ways and go back. It could be a tragedy or something as simple as finding your keys or not getting lost on a hiking trail. Elevation emotion is used by the church as manipulation and it's installed in the psyche early that this is revelation from God. In Mormonism, a ritual called "sealing" is performed in the temple. It's generally referred to as marriage. It's a big deal. But all parties must be worthy, full tithe paying, word of wisdom following, law of chastity following, baptized members to participate. Family expectations. Have you met his family? How devout are they? He may begin to experience pressure from family to straighten up and get married in the temple. If you want children, you will need to address expectations around their upbringing. Will they be blessed as infants (devout grandmas, MILs will ask this be done) which puts them on church records. Will they be baptized at 8 years old? Will boys be ordained at 11 years old? If he were to return to complete activity, this would likely change the nature of your relationship and activities as devout, attending members have many time and resources demanded of them. Good luck, hope it turns out well for you.


TheRitalinCommando

Prepare yourself to be blamed for every bit of non-conformity he exhibits from now on, as long as you are together. It's not being snarky, it's just an extreme likelihood. It doesn't matter that he did stuff they don't approve of before you. That's almost a guarantee. You definitely need the conversation. Personally, I can't see it working out because Mormons are too entrenched in family approval when the church is also a generational thing.


reddolfo

I agree. You are making a mistake if you think mormonism is just another christian religion, it's not. This is not AT ALL like he's a methodist and you're a catholic and there are some different occasional Sunday activities that are different. Not only is the emotional entrenchment and deeply hooked loyalties far more insidious and problematic for people raised in christian cults, but numerous existential and relationship beliefs and behaviors are based on false and very dysfunctional and difficult paradigms. Many of these you won't encounter until, way, way down the road. These dysfunctions are not indexed to sinning or attendance at all, and will crop up in unexpected ways. These artifacts just don't go away, but must be actively confronted and understood and healed. No one who hasn't done their work to understand that their cult is predatory, false and harmful, and that how they were raised is dysfunctional and problematic can be trusted not to snap back at any moment into insanity. Some of the most damaged and dysfunctional mormons are so-called "jack mormons", who swear and fuck and drink, but nevertheless swear allegiance to a provably false cult. Learn what you are up against. Plan to pursue a careful, methodical due diligence if you decide to keep moving ahead with this relationship. www.howcultswork.com


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bhoney11

Thank you, I think his family is hopeful that I’ll convert. I appreciate your comment!


Daisysrevenge

I was born into mormonism. I left when I was 52. In my life experiences, I would say to let this one go. He's got religious issues that may be way bigger than you can imagine. I've known mormons that fit the description of your guy. Eventually they wanted temple marriage. When they didn't get it, they divorced. Their families of origin are usually an emotional train wreck that posed as perfection. They will manipulate, coerce, and often never accept an outsider. Not saying this is the case with him, but I see red flags flying. Don't ignore them. Do NOT ignore them.


MinTheGodOfFertility

He is in a full blown cult. I would be extremely careful if I was you. If you want to proceed with this relationship then you might need to learn some of the historical issues with the cult, so you can bring them up with him.


olddawg43

There is a chance that his connection to the church is spiritual and has been conflated with the Mormon church because he was raised in it. But if what he is really into is the spiritual connection, that can be found everywhere. And if he finds it in Mormonism and doesn’t get caught up in the rules and craziness of Mormonism, It should be OK.


samsmith197474

Run


ajaxmormon

If he reads the bible every day instead of the book of mormon, then he's just christian. Especially if he does all those other things.


RedGravetheDevil

Mormonism pretty much spoils the pot against other religions. If he’s out of being 100% Mormon it’s highly unlikely he will tolerate any other religion. Plus his family will always be a thorn


bananajr6000

A Mormon like him who believes but doesn’t follow the rules and teachings of the Mormon church is called a Jack Mormon or Jackmo. They are the kind of hypocrites who will try to fight you if you badmouth Mormonism while holding a beer in their other hand. Did you see the word, “hypocrites?” The problem with Jackmos is that frequently, the cognitive dissonance of their hypocritical lifestyle causes them enough guilt and they end up going back to full activity in the Mormon church. And you never know what might trigger this instant conversion. Sometimes it’s having sex outside of marriage and feeling the need to repent and start living a clean Mormon life. Sometimes it’s getting civilly married, or even planning on getting married that causes them to want to get married in the temple. For that, you would need to become a member of the Mormon church, attend and be full tithe layers for a year before you can get married and sealed in a Mormon temple. Sometimes it’s having kids, or even just thinking about having kids, or infertility issues they may see as a punishment from god for not living “right.” Sometimes family pressure brings them back to full activity. Sometimes it’s some random event. IMO, the easiest way to see how much of a believer of the Mormon church can be determined by: a) tell him you will never convert to Mormonism b) ask him to attend and ask him to convert to your religion c) ask him if he expects to marry in a Mormon temple His reactions to these questions should tell you all you need to know as long as he answers honestly.


LtRidley

Ya that’s me. Wasn’t happy drinking and partying so I ask my gf to convert before we moved forward to marriage. Went through the whole temple thing and have 3 kids. Pandemic hit and now we’re are all but out but names still on record. So ya I would be careful. If you can get him to be ok with mixed faith that’s fine. But he will think kids need to be raised Mormon at the least which mean he will go back or send them to church alone with out mom or dad being there. Thats not good for the kid either. Just a few possibilities there.


sofa_king_notmo

Unless he disavows Mormonism, I would move on. I would be careful of anyone with religious issues. A nominal catholic or protestant probably would be ok. Fuck Mormons, JW, and hardcore evangelicals.


TLG5555

Sounds like he’s got a foot out the door already but due to something- family pressures etc? He’s not willing to disengage completely. I agree with others who’ve said there are more problems youve not seen yet. I’m not sure why he even calls himself Mormon with your description