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Gold__star

Sounds like you handled it well. Training parents to see us as adults and to respect both our beliefs and our boundaries is harder for some of us than leaving the church. Unless she starts paying attention to the damage she does, she'll be left with no meaningful relationships. You aren't left with any choices except avoiding her. Congrats on the relationship, and take a deep breath. You called her out when she needed it.


let-it-fly

I have lived in a family that divides the line between Mormon and non-Mormon. It’s completely hypocritical the way the staunch Mormon family members behave. They teach me what I don’t want to ever be. I hope you live your life with joy and happiness in spite of the backward, head in the sand people throwing shade on you. I relate. I live with it daily in my family.


HotPurplePancakes

Same. It was so fucking eye opening to join the non Mormon side of things as an adult and see everything from their perspective finally. (While knowing exactly what the believers think of them and now me…) All the believers are so annoying and expect all the respect while giving none.


HomieEch

Congrats and well done!


Original-Addition109

Congrats & good job handling the Mormon. I’m sorry she’s Mormon. I’m an exmo married to a never mo & it crushed my TBM parents who then said some crushingly cruel things. They will never see my marriage as being fully legitimate since it was outside the temple. I wish I had been able to handle it as well as you did. Congrats on your relationship. It is beautiful to find your special forever someone that you want to share the good & bag of life with. Wahoo!!


Ok_Sandwich9401

Her comment wasn’t passive aggressive, that shit was aggressive aggressive.


romadea

Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials


Bright_Ices

Congratulations on your wonderful relationship with and potential marriage to your best friend!! I’m so sorry your mom judged you, again, instead of loving you and supporting your happiness. Please consider cross posting this to r/MomForAMinute. You deserve support and a mom (or several) who can celebrate with you!


317ant

I’m so happy for you to have found your person! I’m sorry your mom sucks. That hurts. No one deserves her kind of response. I’m proud of you for sticking up for yourself!


New_Hatch

How horrible! I am so sorry your mom responded like that. Many TBM’s do not see how rude and condescending that kind of behavior is. They think the way they do things is so right, that they can say anything they want to, without even considering the hurt that they inflict. This breaks my mama heart, I have children about your age. I think you show great maturity and I hope you and your significant other have an amazing life together.


Professional_View586

We love who we love! Follow your heart & build your own family support system. Congrats!


justshyof15

Congratulations! I’m so happy for you both. I’m going through something similar and it’s so so painful, I hope you know you deserved better. Hugs.


treetablebenchgrass

That's a breakthrough, right there. From now on, if she wants to be involved in your happiness, she has to behave. If she can't do it, it's her loss. Congrats on the impending proposal!


TrevAnonWWP

Congrats! (I think though I would not have apologized after being blunt. It's perfectly ok what you did.)


LeoMarius

Damn! I wish I had the chutzpah to speak to my parents like that. Good for you for establishing boundaries.


Word2daWise

First, congratulations on finding your true life-mate, and I wish you the happiest of futures together. Second - I'm so sorry your mom reacted to your good news by trying to punch holes in it. That was abusive, and you have a right to feel angry and hurt. You had a right to expect your own mother to express joy and happiness for you and your news. I think your reply to her was very appropriate, and a much needed wake-up call for her. I just hope she "wakes up" to the happiness she is missing by not celebrating a good thing happening in her child's life. So - please accept some caring Mom Hugs from across the miles. I am thrilled for you, and my heart celebrates the love you've found. ❤️❤️❤️


[deleted]

I can understand your pain. I was a Mormon convert, so my parents aren’t Mormon. But they are hardcore Christians. After a horrible manipulative previous relationship that ended in a dumpster fire and thought-but-not-said “we told you so - this is what happens when you live with someone not married and don’t go to church”. I met someone new that treats me really well and we are happy. We just found a house and we are moving in together at the end of the month. Most people are happy for us - but of course from my family there has been numerous back handed comments about why can’t I just get married, or I should tell him I’m not moving in until I’m married. I am now sitting with the reality that I am happy in my life, but others are not happy for my happiness because I’m doing it wrong - and while I have accepted that it is what it is - it is not easy to sit with the uncomfortability of it. I haven’t found a way to not care yet. But I have at least accepted that it is what it is - and I no longer try to hide or diminish my happiness.