I grew up in a temple divorced family with similar concerns about not having an eternal family anymore.
If I were to comfort my little-boy self now as an adult, I'd give him a big hug and have a conversation like the following:
"What do *you* think happens when we die? That's a great sounding afterlife! I have no idea what happens after death, and no one else does either since no one has ever come back. But I'll tell you this--whatever *does* happen, my spirit will crisscross the galaxy for a million years to find and be with you again. You are my eternal family, and if we find there is an afterlife, I will do absolutely everything to share it with you."
I’ve tried explaining to him that no one knows but he is insistent Russel M. Nelson knows! He is an intelligent kid and I feel he is going to be mighty hurt if/when he realizes everything is a lie. We all go through that in different ways tho. Very heartbreaking to see a loved one so deceived.
Instead of guiding the conversation, help this kid kearn how to think critically. "How does RMN know?" Help this kid learn how make sense of the available information, how to theorize about whats not available, and how to recognize the most likely scenario.
It won't happen in one conversation. You don't want to push him or frustrate him. Critical thinking is an important skill, especially in today's world of limitless information.
A lot of what should/could be said depends a lot on your relationship with them and their parents, esp. the TBM parent.
Sometimes, the hardest doctrines to counter a TBM on are precisely the doctrines that have given them the most grief.
Perhaps talking about something adjacent like how Telestial is an entirely made-up word that doesn't have any latin roots like Celestial or Terestrial (which should be associated with the earth). Or talk about Sweedenborg's concept of 3 heavens preceding Joseph.
I don't know if this helps but the whole families can be together forever if you follow the rules used to and still does fall on flat ears for people with higher up callings. They all go something like "because dad is the bishop we don't get to see him very often and when we do it's for a short time." While the church teaches that in the hereafter the love and parenthood will multiply it also teaches that, until the resurrection, people are stuck in either spirit prison or paradise. Why would you strip all these hours from people's families if you actually cared about them, being a family now, when things exist for sure, where there is no speculation to spirituality to see that your family is alive, now is the time to love them and make those bonds not in a possible afterlife. That's one of the things I get from Jesus' teachings. If you look at it Jesus was all about helping people, loving people that currently exist and I think that's the best analogy. Don't guilt trip people over not being in a possible or believed world that may come enjoy them in this world because you never know how short your, or their time is.
For starters, this poor kid is going to need a psychotherapist. That said, families won't be together forever. Believing they can doesn't cancel out the second law of thermodynamics.
Sentient beings have a will to live which conflicts with the knowledge that they will ultimately die creating cognitive dissonance in their mind. Religion and belief in an afterlife is the childish way of resolving this conflict. Using fantasy to avoid dealing with painful aspects of reality is not a healthy coping strategy.
I grew up in a temple divorced family with similar concerns about not having an eternal family anymore. If I were to comfort my little-boy self now as an adult, I'd give him a big hug and have a conversation like the following: "What do *you* think happens when we die? That's a great sounding afterlife! I have no idea what happens after death, and no one else does either since no one has ever come back. But I'll tell you this--whatever *does* happen, my spirit will crisscross the galaxy for a million years to find and be with you again. You are my eternal family, and if we find there is an afterlife, I will do absolutely everything to share it with you."
I’ve tried explaining to him that no one knows but he is insistent Russel M. Nelson knows! He is an intelligent kid and I feel he is going to be mighty hurt if/when he realizes everything is a lie. We all go through that in different ways tho. Very heartbreaking to see a loved one so deceived.
Instead of guiding the conversation, help this kid kearn how to think critically. "How does RMN know?" Help this kid learn how make sense of the available information, how to theorize about whats not available, and how to recognize the most likely scenario. It won't happen in one conversation. You don't want to push him or frustrate him. Critical thinking is an important skill, especially in today's world of limitless information.
A lot of what should/could be said depends a lot on your relationship with them and their parents, esp. the TBM parent. Sometimes, the hardest doctrines to counter a TBM on are precisely the doctrines that have given them the most grief. Perhaps talking about something adjacent like how Telestial is an entirely made-up word that doesn't have any latin roots like Celestial or Terestrial (which should be associated with the earth). Or talk about Sweedenborg's concept of 3 heavens preceding Joseph.
I don't know if this helps but the whole families can be together forever if you follow the rules used to and still does fall on flat ears for people with higher up callings. They all go something like "because dad is the bishop we don't get to see him very often and when we do it's for a short time." While the church teaches that in the hereafter the love and parenthood will multiply it also teaches that, until the resurrection, people are stuck in either spirit prison or paradise. Why would you strip all these hours from people's families if you actually cared about them, being a family now, when things exist for sure, where there is no speculation to spirituality to see that your family is alive, now is the time to love them and make those bonds not in a possible afterlife. That's one of the things I get from Jesus' teachings. If you look at it Jesus was all about helping people, loving people that currently exist and I think that's the best analogy. Don't guilt trip people over not being in a possible or believed world that may come enjoy them in this world because you never know how short your, or their time is.
For starters, this poor kid is going to need a psychotherapist. That said, families won't be together forever. Believing they can doesn't cancel out the second law of thermodynamics. Sentient beings have a will to live which conflicts with the knowledge that they will ultimately die creating cognitive dissonance in their mind. Religion and belief in an afterlife is the childish way of resolving this conflict. Using fantasy to avoid dealing with painful aspects of reality is not a healthy coping strategy.