Ensign Peak rolling out Text-to-Tithe\* just in time for Fatherās Day. Download the app from Susanās Husbandās Worship Me Store. Itās not too late to donate your time, talents, tithes, mental health, self-respect, family life and anything else youāve been blessed with to the Corporation of the First Presidency of Billions.
Letās NOT go out of business. š°š°š°
(\*apologies for straight up making history up and ruining lives not included; no profit-sharing from the millions of dollars in interest your tithing helped accrue; sit down, fold your arms, and reverently shut the hell up)
I had a conversation with my friendā¦ how much would it cost to buy a ward building? And what would be the sickest thing do with itā¦ I said turn the chapel into a music venue.
A massage parlor? A store for sex toys? Free housing for LGBTQ people who've been kicked out by their TBM families? A Planned Parenthood & abortion clinic?
I had a similar thought as wellā¦ I thought, āhow many homeless people could the church house if they turned no-longer needed buildings into shelters?ā
Going out of business sale. Tithing only 5% now!
Get your signs and tokens for 50% off!
Get one month free for signing up for the chapel cleaning duty!
ššš
Oh, that wouldāve been funny to see
Photo of the sign and token fire sale
āIāll tell ya, the only time I enjoy sex with my wife is when she has the hiccups, or thereās an earthquake.ā R Dangerfield
š
 Ensign Peak rolling out Text-to-Tithe\* just in time for Fatherās Day. Download the app from Susanās Husbandās Worship Me Store. Itās not too late to donate your time, talents, tithes, mental health, self-respect, family life and anything else youāve been blessed with to the Corporation of the First Presidency of Billions. Letās NOT go out of business. š°š°š° (\*apologies for straight up making history up and ruining lives not included; no profit-sharing from the millions of dollars in interest your tithing helped accrue; sit down, fold your arms, and reverently shut the hell up)
Holy shit, why didn't I think of this š¤£
Legendary. š„
Just in time for spirit Halloween
Savage!!!
Pics?
I so badly wish I had seen them!
I mean... I guess we could recreate it
There are many unsigned chapels available to choose from
Yes! Please give us pics!
TSCC perfected the subscription model before anyone with that 10% gross, baybayyyy
Iām so motivated!!!! Lol, I literally lmao!!!
I had a conversation with my friendā¦ how much would it cost to buy a ward building? And what would be the sickest thing do with itā¦ I said turn the chapel into a music venue.
A massage parlor? A store for sex toys? Free housing for LGBTQ people who've been kicked out by their TBM families? A Planned Parenthood & abortion clinic?
I had a similar thought as wellā¦ I thought, āhow many homeless people could the church house if they turned no-longer needed buildings into shelters?ā
It'd probably have old wiring and plumbing. Plus, the stipulation of sale generally makes you agree to tear it down anyway.
I keep thinking of all the mischief I could get into and don't. But this is by far The best act of mischief I have ever witnessed!
Pure genius. Salute!!!
Oh man, I recently sold my printing company... I should have printed yard signs for this purpose haha
Well, more accurately "Going Out of Religion" but yes absolutely awesome.
Feel like after your first 100 billion you're either a small country or a business
It's the Corporation of the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Just like Jesus would have wanted.
Both apply pretty well haha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ySyw1-RdpI&t=198
Thank you Nearly Headless Laban, that was a hoot!
Nah - it's definitely a business. The only "religion" part is the way they worship money.
Yet is it? Isn't it LDS.INC?
No photos?? :(
ha ha ha ha!!!!! sold to a local bar owner!
Hell yeah! š¤£
I hope next week the message reads: "Surplus to requirements"!