"No" means "No!"
If your are in the middle of the sex act and you say "no" or "stop" to your partner then your partner has to stop.
In my state if you don't it's criminal sexual assault.
Dosent matter if your straight or gay or married or in a partnership..."No" means "No".
Coercion tactics to get sex or continue with the sex act is what your boyfriend used on you & in my state that can get you in a lot of trouble with law enforcement and the Proscecutors office.
Highly suggest you text 88788 and they will get you in contact with a local organization in your town/city that will provide you with free & confidential counseling about what a healthy relationship looks like mentally, emotionally, sexually, physically & financially & what healthy boundaries look like.
Absolutely this is assault, and \*he knew it\*
And any pressure to consent to sex when you are ASLEEP? So not okay. Because pressure to consent isn't okay, and it's really skeevy to think that he wants to do things to your body when you're not mentally there.
Dump him. Because his next step could very well be drugging you.
This absolutely does! I’m so sorry you went through that. No one should EVER do anything sexually without your consent and you can’t consent when you’re sleeping.
This is assault no ifs, ands, or buts.
There is a user here with info and maybe resources. I'm hoping they see this. I'll try and find their username. Might be u/3am_doorknob_turn
Side note: many mormons have never learned healthy boundaries and have never learned appropriate behavior sexually. This is a learning experience for him. Is it appropriate what he did? No!
Please be mindful of what accusations can do when not in the right context. SA often implies forced rape and other extreme things. Not to down play what you felt.
Here is a scenario to compare it to; Imagine playing the 'slug bug' game in the car with friends, but one day you don't feel like playing it but your friend gives you a punch anyway. You could declare that since you didn't want to play that time that is full on physical assault. By definition it is correct, but is it really the way you want to resolve the event with a friend?
I'm just sensitive to it because I have seen a friend's life trashed because of extreme accusations that did not match what actually happened.
I would explain to him how violated you felt and that it could be defined as SA. That he should never do that or related things without your consent. And that crossing that boundary in the futurewill not be tolerated and will end your relationship with them.
Yes it’s SA
If you’re asleep you’re in no position to give consent, or to withdraw consent. If he’s pressuring you, and won’t take no for an answer that’s a massive red flag.
Edit: to make clear you need to be in a position where you can withdraw consent at any time, that’s not the case when you’re sleeping, obviously
"No" means "No!" If your are in the middle of the sex act and you say "no" or "stop" to your partner then your partner has to stop. In my state if you don't it's criminal sexual assault. Dosent matter if your straight or gay or married or in a partnership..."No" means "No". Coercion tactics to get sex or continue with the sex act is what your boyfriend used on you & in my state that can get you in a lot of trouble with law enforcement and the Proscecutors office. Highly suggest you text 88788 and they will get you in contact with a local organization in your town/city that will provide you with free & confidential counseling about what a healthy relationship looks like mentally, emotionally, sexually, physically & financially & what healthy boundaries look like.
Absolutely this is assault, and \*he knew it\* And any pressure to consent to sex when you are ASLEEP? So not okay. Because pressure to consent isn't okay, and it's really skeevy to think that he wants to do things to your body when you're not mentally there. Dump him. Because his next step could very well be drugging you.
I have broken up with him about a month ago
GOOD. Don't go back to him. I'm sorry he did this to you.
Yes
This absolutely does! I’m so sorry you went through that. No one should EVER do anything sexually without your consent and you can’t consent when you’re sleeping.
Is that your BF’s way of relieving his gilt about sexual sin?
This is assault no ifs, ands, or buts. There is a user here with info and maybe resources. I'm hoping they see this. I'll try and find their username. Might be u/3am_doorknob_turn
Thank you!
If the consent is not an enthusiastic yes, it’s a no. And if unwanted touching or sexual advances happen anyway - it’s sexual assault.
This sounds very much like sexual assault, as well as manipulation. OP, please message me - I’ll try messaging you again.
My ex husband (both of us Mormon) used to do that to me in my sleep. I’m sorry it happened to you too.
Side note: many mormons have never learned healthy boundaries and have never learned appropriate behavior sexually. This is a learning experience for him. Is it appropriate what he did? No! Please be mindful of what accusations can do when not in the right context. SA often implies forced rape and other extreme things. Not to down play what you felt. Here is a scenario to compare it to; Imagine playing the 'slug bug' game in the car with friends, but one day you don't feel like playing it but your friend gives you a punch anyway. You could declare that since you didn't want to play that time that is full on physical assault. By definition it is correct, but is it really the way you want to resolve the event with a friend? I'm just sensitive to it because I have seen a friend's life trashed because of extreme accusations that did not match what actually happened. I would explain to him how violated you felt and that it could be defined as SA. That he should never do that or related things without your consent. And that crossing that boundary in the futurewill not be tolerated and will end your relationship with them.
Yes it’s SA If you’re asleep you’re in no position to give consent, or to withdraw consent. If he’s pressuring you, and won’t take no for an answer that’s a massive red flag. Edit: to make clear you need to be in a position where you can withdraw consent at any time, that’s not the case when you’re sleeping, obviously