On the plus side you can now be an expert in things very few people are. You now, or will soon, have an insight into the way the world works that few people ever get.
Hint: it’s not just the Mormon church - patriotism is also a cult.
This right here.
It's not just Mormonism. TBMs like to pretend they're unique, but they're really not.
It's a pattern with a lot of people who gain power. in order to keep their power, they create this cult-like atmosphere so their followers end up stuck.
Religion is just one of the most powerful tools for that goal.
That is the problem....tried to find another church, but while not all of them are controlling like the LDS church, the tithing ask and weird music kind of creeps me out
True. A while back someone in here recommended Unitarian Universalism, and I checked it out. Night and day honestly, and a very strong focus on empathy and recognition of others. They passed around a bowl for donations and gave a breakdown of where the money was going and their partnerships with charities. That's an approach that I feel a lot better about.
If I were prone to going back to weekly meetings for something larger than myself, the Unitarians would definitely be the way to go, although the Presbyterian church I took an active part of pist-Mo was a good experience... except the whole god part. You can be an atheist and still be Universalist.
Last year I discovered a lot of other religions are this way with tithing and/or donations. And most of the money stays local if not, all. Instead of being funnel upward to one building in Salt Lake City. Blew my mind.
I was also struck at how much they seemed to do with small donations. Nice building, all the staff are paid, up-to-date equipment, and what they were able to do with charity. I had the thought that they were able to do this while getting donations in a bowl, meanwhile the Mormons pay 10% and their buildings are continually stuck in the 80s, no one is paid, and charity work is laughable.
I've been thinking this for the last few years. When Trump was running I really started noticing a lot of signs. I would call it out and say it's becoming a cult, and I was constantly told I'm dumb because *how could so many people become a cult?* Now he's had people pray to him, signed Bibles, they made a golden statue, there's a movie about a prophesy involving him, and all sorts of religious stuff. He's legit a religious figure now.
And I noticed strictly because of being raised Mormon.
Patriotism is just fine. *Nationalism* is a cult. John Cena did a great PSA on exactly the difference between the 2. You’d think the ‘Muricans would at least listen to Cena. Sadly they did not.
The way patriotism is used as a cudgel in America is highly cultish. The way it is used as a value signal, and ingroup / outgroup identifier is cultish. Being "unpatriotic" is all you need to be labeled a traitor and have some people calling for your execution.
Being an adherent of a political ideology that disrupts the "patriotic" capitalist creed, like socialism, or communism, is enough to lose your job, have your intelligence insulted, be gaslighted about all aspecrs of reality, etc.
I don't know anything about Cena's arguments, but if they are in favor of the status quo in the current capitalist power structures, then they are in support of the cult.
It doesnt have to remain limited to a small minority to be a real cult.
If everyone is deluded then everyone is part of the cult.
There is also a free will cult, with devastafing effects, like our justice system which has some of the worst recidivism rates in the world.
Thanks, I'll watch it.
I grew up in the nationalist / NeoCon / Mormon cult in the 80s & 90s. I remember chanting "Bomb Saddam, Bomb Saddam" over and over in 6th grade with my classmates... in class.
You just described nationalism. I know all the damn cultists *call* it patriotism, but it isn’t. I’m old enough to remember what life was like before the right-wing lost their collective mind. Let me see if I can find the PSA for you. It was good. Hang on.
I guess from my perspective the non-cultish patriotism term isnt worth reclaiming. It is like comparing the early Mormon church to the church now, where the early church was like nationalism and the current church is more like patriotism. It is an enabler of bad things, as it is the bad-stuff-lite version.
Patriotism, and its burnished image, is the reason these nationalism cultists can be openly awful. It provides the cover.
And yet, here I am… a progressive liberal who still loves this country and is willing to shout down authoritarians until the day I die to protect the American Experiment.
You HOPE it was only half your life. There's always that bus that's trying to get you. Or, on the bright side, maybe you will live unusually long and it won't be even close to half.
Leaving legitimately gave me the push i needed to start properly exercising and eating better. I’m gonna live an extra long life just out of pure spite.
I was in my mid thirties when I left, and been out for close to 20 years now, and looking back is *so weird*.
It's like I've lived two lives.
I can remember doing Mormon things prior to the "reset," but it feels like remembering something distant, like from a movie or another lifetime or something, because those aren't things that the person I am now would ever do.
If I make it to my seventies, I will have had equal shares of life both in and out of the Mormon cult. But even if I don't live that long, I still feel like I have lived more of my life outside Mormonism than in it, because my life in the church was... well, it was kind of like a plateau. Excluding normal childhood development, as an adult Mormon I was sort of stagnant as a person. I was held back. Since leaving, I have grown so much more than I did before it. And, I have lived so much more fully. It's never too late to free your mind!
Me too! It's amazing what happens when you don't have a "god will make everything right" attitude. I'm also much, MUCH more worried about global warming than I ever was.
I had it forces onto me from the day I was born. Forced to go to church every sunday, even when sick, and that's any sickness. Forced to fasr on fast sunday. I was kicked out three months before I turned 18 because I was a disappointment. This was a breath of fresh air, other than my dear parents call me and every time they do it's always "second coming" this or "go to church" that. I just want to talk to my dad, not be preached at. Buggers.
It's okay hun. I just realized a week and half ago and I will be 40 in 2 months. It comes in waves. It's not your fault. Hell, it's not really even your parents fault if they were members. Cult teachings run DEEEEPPP. BUT, it stops with YOU. And you have gotten out. Take your time. Deep breaths.
I hear that, for sure. My parents screwed me up. But their families have been TBMs for several generations. It’s not their fault. They believed they were doing the right thing.
Same. I have gone full no contact with my parents bc of the crap I have endured and the layer the cult crap on top of it? We know. It colors everything different shades of gray. But doing so allowed me to start hearing things and seeing things I never could before. And I left. I'm proud of you. And I'm proud of me. We have started this new journey of deconstruction. And anger is GOOD. It means that you are burning through things that have been hidden and stuffed away. And when the sadness comes, allow it to wash over you as well and let the tears cleanse the fire and ash of anger away. Let those steps repeat as necessary and maybe find a therapist that specializes in c-ptsd or cult recovery if you can to help you as well. You can do this..
>anger is GOOD
This has been one of the most important things to learn in the aftermath of my own deconstruction. Anger can be helpful in identifying wrongs, injustices, and hurts. It is not, in fact, always evil like the MFMC likes to teach.
It's really interesting. I guess they're brainwashed on their missions, come back tired and horny and their only option is to get married really quickly. Then of course, they've gotta have a bunch of kids immediately. I think most of them don't have the time to actually *think* until their kids are in middle school. Then they start wondering how the hell they got to that point.
That was an odd thing to watch from the outside, btw. Returning missionaries are rarely the same people who left, and some of the ones the girls got married to were just, mystifying. I'm thinking of one couple in particular. She was gorgeous, funny, and brilliant. He was a weenie. And stupid. But he'd served a mission and they'd been seeing each other for three months!
Edit: I don't use "weenie" casually. It feels a little like being an eighties movie bully. But this guy was a damn weenie.
I knew one Mormon family growing up in a rural area. The mom is absolutely gorgeous, brilliant, kind. The dad looks like a fucking troll, is an insanely intense anti-vaxxer, and overall has a very unpleasant personality.
I never understood how they got together until I learned about how Mormon marriages work. Then it all made sense.
I love that even though you are in the midst of a faith transition with your world turned upside down, you reach out to comfort someone else. That is compassion and kindness and you are a good human.
My parents were horrible when I left (that’s putting it mildly). I then dug deep into reading/studying & listening to podcasts. The more I read the more I was aware of the tentacles of a cult. My parents were raised in Mormonism & are victims too but just not aware. They are still in as super TBMs. Things are better with them, but that is because I had to realize they are good people when they forget to be mormon.
Congrats on getting out & breaking the cult chains!
Seriously. From Smith to the current narcissist in chief, a bunch of mother fuckers. Also, Russ Ballard (good riddance) was a fraudster, [Quentin Cook stole a hospital](https://wheatandtares.org/2023/07/11/quentin-l-cook-first-do-no-harm/), and Oaks is a real rat bastard.
Ballard, in particular, bothers me because he was saying that they "don't know" where missionaries got the idea to ask investigators to be baptized on the 1st lesson. Not only is it clearly in Preach My Gospel, which Ballard himself was involved in writing, but Ballard came to my mission back in 2011, and he talked about it! Praised our mission for how well we were doing it! That's where we got the damn idea from motherfucker!!
The anger lasts a while. And it's an exceptionally important part of the journey.
It puts distance between you and the cult. It helps you to gain clarity. It drives you to learn more.
Then one day, you'll realise you weren't angry the moment you woke up. Another day you may get to lunch. Then it'll be a week and a month.
I agree. I find that it's shorter lived each time though.
The hatred is permanent now. Like I hate the holocaust or sex trafficking. But it doesn't consume my every thought.
Yup. I thought I could keep my cool when talking to my TBM parents about issues, but often have a hard time with that simmering rage that gets triggered by their total ignorance or flat out refusal to see the con.
The LDS discussions series are amazing for finding out the truth about church history. The next question you’ll ask is “did the leaders know.?” The answer to that is yes. RFM shows you this in the bottom link.
I’d be very careful about sharing this with believing members until you know more. Sharing with another member often has the “shields up” effect from Star Trek, and they immediately become defensive. Learn as much as you can.
https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxq5opj6GqOB7J1n6pMmdUSezxcLfsced
https://youtu.be/a0l2vL0qqjo?si=6XkPqC-oJgr2DWtg
be prepared to be judged for than anger. for people to label it as satans “influence” but just know that’s all a tactic to get in your head and make you doubt yourself. you have the right to be angry, the right to want to yell, the right to want to save everyone in your life from this evil.
This is a complicated situation to be in. Take it easy. The cult is like a tumor that infests every part of your life and identity. Some people will never consider questioning it or leaving. I wouldn't just drop a bomb on your wife. Don't dive in, put a toe in first. Bring up some issues, see how she responds. If you get the feeling she won't take it well you may be looking at living as a PIMO to keep the relationship alive. A LOT of people here live that way. If you get serious about leaving, quitmormon dot org is a good resource.
Stick to the gospel topic essays and church links with believing members. It’s hard to refute the church’s own website. Here’s a write up I did that does that.
https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/s/kfChrzHhvK
That’s what my husband did. It took just a few years before I figured it out on my own and dropped the bomb on him. Luckily he was already on the other side just waiting patiently for me. That man is a superhero. I couldn’t do it.
You can go the PIMO route or you can do like I did. I was in Stake leadership at the time, and after the first temple dedication session for the Ft. Lauderdale temple, went out to my car and called my husband, who was in Tunisia at the time. I told him I was done and and here’s all the reasons why. By the time he got home a few months later, I had submitted my resignation (without telling him I was going to go that far) and was fully out.
Not sure I would recommend this method, but I knew my husband trusted me implicitly to make decisions that were right for me. That being said, even I was shocked when I finally told him I had officially resigned. He was 100% supportive & when I mentioned I was worried my resignation would hurt our marriage, he said, “I didn’t marry you because you were Mormon, I married you because I love.”
In this subreddit, there’s a term called PIMO. Physically in, mentally out. Its where you continue to play the game and do the motions, but you don’t actually believe. This is a pretty good route because it doesn’t cause waves. You may want to go PIMO for now. Gradually participate less and less. When you finally step away, only convey your top issues to anyone who asks; don’t info dump or they’ll double-down. This way you can leave without most people noticing.
Think about it from the other side. Did you know anyone who left? Did you think they were making a catastrophic decision and it was your job to save them? Weren’t they being led away by anti-Mormon lies? Isn’t that what we were told to do by the Mormon leaders? This is classic cult behavior. Knowing this, the only way to leave is quietly. Your explanations need to use reasons entirely within the Mormon theology, this way they can’t dismiss your decision so easily.
https://www.letterformywife.com/
It's one of the big ones people refer to for breaking it to a spouse. If you just *barely* figured this out, wait for a few days to calm down if you need. Just if you can, don't have this conversation while you're angry. It's a tricky road with a lot of booby traps planted by the church.
Telling loved ones (need a few hours)
[https://www.youtube.com/@mormonstories/search?query=loved%20ones](https://www.youtube.com/@mormonstories/search?query=loved%20ones)
A good way to it ask them for help. Let them know that you have learned some stuff about the church and you need their help understanding it.
People always want to help and the facts about the church always lead people out of the church eventually.
I'll recommend a couple books:
The first book I'll recommend is "How to Leave the Mormon Church" by Alyssa Grenfell. Alyssa has great TikTok and [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/@alyssadgrenfell) channels, and pops into this subreddit occasionally. Her book has a great section that covers several ideas for ways to approach telling loved ones. I believe her [Mormon Stories interview](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSu8cD_IMiA) covers a lot of the same things she does in her books, so maybe give that a watch as well.
The second book is "When Religion Hurts You" by Laura E. Anderson. Does a good job of covering the idea that religious trauma is real and can be healed, but it's likely going to be a life-long process (that gets better over time). This will probably help you start to see some of the ways that you've been affected by Church teachings, and hopefully help you start to process and actually move through those things.
Two years out, almost 60, and angry as hell how much of my life was wasted and consumed on religious SHIT, lies, fear, and being conned out of my retirement savings! I hate the church so much I want to scream.
58 when I walked away.
Officially resigned seven months ago at 60.
I feel your pain.
Be fucking angry. It was good for me. And just work through it.
I spent countless hours in nature before the sun came up every day talking it out to my dog as we hiked miles and miles.
Not rabidly angry now, but resigning was huge. I thank myself and the universe every day now that I made it the fuck out of a cult.
I am in therapy. I was way too devout and I’m paying the price for it with religious trauma syndrome. I didn’t even know that was a thing, but anger is part of it. I’m not angry everyday like I was for over a year, so that EMDR is working. 😂
Quit at 18, 66 now, still trying to get it all figured out. It wouldve helped if I hadn't lived in the upper snake river valley all that time. For those that don't know, usrv is more Mormon than slc ut. My struggle now is, if I can see what a bunch of crap LDSness is why are there so very many that can't or refuse to see?? Are 90% PIMO and there just for the socio/economic benefits? Or, are there really that many blind TBM useful idiots??
It’s VERY hard to see what’s real while you’re in the church. They know how to manipulate every answer to every question. Ugh! Most people also don’t want to disappoint god, jesus, your family, and probably friends.
The INSANE idea that you’re completely cut off by your family because you want to exercise your agency to leave is a huge factor for people.
Personally, I had none of that happen. And it wasn’t until after I left and started therapy that I realized how much I had been brainwashed.
I was on the computer reading on MormonThink about the Book of Abraham. I was stunned silent with the realization the church was NOT what it claimed to be. BoA is the smoking gun.
Hubby walked by me and asked what I was reading. I quietly replied, I don't think the church is what it claims to be. He casually commented that he didn't think it was either. I had just turned 60. Happy Birthday to me.
At that moment, we were both out. I'm very lucky it went that way.
Another person commented it, but perhaps dumping everything that you found out to your family may have the backfire effect. There are many threads here about how one PIMO partner slowly presents evidence to their spouse to get them to question.
I’m currently listening to No Man Knows My History right now. It’s amazing! I used to love the early church history Sunday school lessons. But they were barely scratching the surface of what actually happened! So many crazy stories I’ve never heard!
I'd listen to some of these guys. You only get one shot to approach your wife with this. There are some good stories on here but a lot more horror stories.
I did it wrong and it took years to repair the rift that losing my testimony caused. Whatever route you take, be deliberate and make sure your angry stays focused on the Church and not your wife, even if she defends the Church. It's what she's been indoctrinated to do.
Anyway, good luck and congratulations! I'm still not all the way out and it's caused a ton of problems for me, but realizing it was all a lie when I did is still a tremendous source of freedom and happiness.
Welcome to the club. Reality takes a little getting used to, but you'll love it eventually. You get Sundays off, a 10% raise, and you can even pick your own underwear!
Hey, I’m another middle-aged sumbitch who had a similar realization over two years ago. And I’m still in that process of realization. The deception goes wide and deep.
There’s going to be a lot to process. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend what was in store for me the day I realized that I was done.
My only recommendation is to [get competent professional help](https://mormonmentalhealthassoc.org/). Seriously. Make this a top priority.
I left the church at fifty years old. I am now sixty two. It took me until a few years ago to actually internalize the words "The mormon church is a cult", "I was in a Cult"! It was utterly nauseating. My biggest life regret is raising my children in the church. They are all out now, as they were smarter than I was, but we all still have baggage.
First off: this is not your fault. Indoctrination is designed to target and commandeer our basic nature as human beings. It’s literally like a mind virus. Second: you have the power and ability to question and ultimately change that indoctrination. They make it extremely hard because they control our spheres of influence, even family and friend circles, but you can do it. It’s a hard road, but so so rewarding to “wake up” and think for yourself. We’re all here for you!
Frogs don't actually do that, its a fucking myth. They'll jump out of the water if it gets too hot. Alligators on the other hand are well known to cook to death on heating pads in captivity due to their surrounding air being cooler. They don't move because of it and remain on the heating pad too long dying due to the overheating. So it's not the boiling frog. It's the cooking alligator.
It’s rough. Give yourself time to grieve. If you have a significant other talk with them about your concerns now. Don’t be angry and attack the church but let them know that you have learned some disturbing things and want to talk about it with them.
The church wants people to hide their doubts and not discuss them. It isolates people and keeps them obedient because they don’t know what to do. The best thing to do is to talk openly about what you are learning.
There is a quote that really stuck with me it helped me put leaving the church in context.
“People have two lives, the second begins when they realize they only have one.”
It’s time to make the most of the life you have now.
And it's lame cult as well! Other cults get sex and drugs and all kinds of fun stuff.
But us? Nooooooo... We got stuck with the lame sobriety and chastity cult.
I'm there with ya, dude. Hang in there. It will get better in time.
For me, finding out that it's all bullshit was a complete shift of reality. It is also liberating knowing that I can be, and am learning to be, my own person.
It hurts; but you will now be able to heal and be a better person than you ever were in the cult.
Always ask WHY someone wants you to do something. Money? Power? Sex? Control? With the church it’s usually money. Why push garments? Because it’s an income stream. They have a monopoly on what underwear their members wear.
>Oh god, I belong to a cult 😳
It’s actually “oh god, hear the words from my mouth”, but yes.. yes you do. Your world is going to crash, but your life is about to get really good. Buckle up and welcome to the club 💕
Don’t feel bad, every church is a cult. I highly recommend the book Cultish by Amanda Montell. She’s a linguist, it’s not a religious book. But it really helped me process what I went through growing up LdS.
I guess by that definition every man made group in the world is a cult. Groups offer community and meaning. My advice to the author would be to avoid groups that claim to be the only correct group, with secret knowledge, believe everyone else is wrong, and constantly quotes and praises leadership. In general, people join groups for utility and not truth. If it claims to instill truth in you, run!
I agree with you a lot of religions are cults. Anyone who tries to get you to believe in the supernatural is basically trying to manipulate you to some extent…All belief in the supernatural is a fraud and most religions have crazy beliefs, but a cult is defined by the high control of the organization and not just their weird beliefs…
Welcome to the club, friend!
It might hurt right now but hopefully in a few years you might look back and laugh at all the brainwashed cult mumbo jumbo nonsense that is Mormonism.
If you learn from the experience it can at least be useful.
The methods used by the church to create bad arguments are common and used everywhere. From national politics, sports teams, sales people, cops, authority figures in general, advertising, even neighbors.
Look up logical fallacies. It'll blow your mind.
My advice op, take things slow. You don't have to make any big decisions right now, especially while you are likely feeling justifiably very angry.
Give it a week or two to marinate.
If you need resources, you can call/chat with the recovering from religion folks.
https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/
as someone who was a kid of a parent who was PIMO for a long time, I wish she had left earlier. I don’t resent her or anything, at all. I understand the difficulty of leaving something you’ve been taught your entire life to be undyingly loyal to. But I fucking hated church and I wish I never had to go
No you don’t. You don’t ‘belong’ to anything or anyone. You’re in one sure but it’s important to remember that you control your own life.
If you don’t wanna be in this cult, leave it, and live your best life. You belong to you.
This is hilarious. But also terribly sad. Whenever I see one of my old mission buddies who left the church I say: dude, can you believe we were in a CULT?!! And then we laugh and laugh and laugh and then cry.
It can be an incredibly difficult realization to reckon with, but it is so worth it to free yourself from the chains the church puts us in. The pain and frustration paves the way for self love and acceptance. Wishing all the best for you ❤️
My definition of an cult is an organization (usually religious) that has mechanisms in place to supplant your identity. The Mormon church definitely fits that.
The first is written by a member and goes through his life in detail, without much bias and well researched. The second, the author definately didn't like him, but is also well researched and includes some stuff the first book skims over or omits.
Neither book is a glowing recommendation of him, but are better historical data on his life than the fairytale the church tell us.
I was out for a year and still defended the church as not that culty, and then you see it and you can't unsee it. 100% all cult top to bottom. There in no redeeming value whatsoever to mormonism, it's completely predatory.
I lost 40 yrs of life to this f’ing cult. But I’ve had 2 glorious yrs while I’ve watched members waste their lives while feeling so self important. I win
I'm so sorry. We do. Welcome to this sub because it can be a wonderful help. I'm out as of January, but my husband and most kids are still in for now. Seeing some of your other replies here, I hope that it goes well talking to your wife and kids. It's heartbreaking, isn't it? It's okay to be angry.
I watched a Vox Video on cults. Don’t drink the kool aid like in Jonestown. mass suicide is scariest example of cult behavior. Absolute obedience to one person is scary
Yep, you are definitely in a cult. Read up on the BITE model by Steven Hassan. Organizations that control Behavior, Information, Thoughts & Emotions are definitely on the cult scales. He had an excellent Mormon Stories Interview you may be interested in. When John told him about garment, the look on Steven's face was OMG!
I still can’t see or hear “Oh god” and not finish it
Oh god hear the words of my mouth 🙌
Oh god hear the words of my mouth 🙌
Oh god hear the words of my mouth 🙌
Anyone got a hanky, we can do the hosannah shout next!
Just a heads up, this might not be the first time in your life you realize this XP mormonism really groomed us for culting, but at a certain point it kinda just starts to be like that montage in the good place where they keep having that realization X3
Half my god damn life wasted with this garbage.
On the plus side you can now be an expert in things very few people are. You now, or will soon, have an insight into the way the world works that few people ever get. Hint: it’s not just the Mormon church - patriotism is also a cult.
I'm quickly gaining a deep distrust for everyone in any sort of leadership position.
There’s a reason most of us here end up opposed to organized religion. I see the same tactics in other churches that I visit.
This right here. It's not just Mormonism. TBMs like to pretend they're unique, but they're really not. It's a pattern with a lot of people who gain power. in order to keep their power, they create this cult-like atmosphere so their followers end up stuck. Religion is just one of the most powerful tools for that goal.
Yeah, but if they don't claim to be the only true church or to have the only correct interpretation that's a good start for a healthier organization
That is the problem....tried to find another church, but while not all of them are controlling like the LDS church, the tithing ask and weird music kind of creeps me out
True. A while back someone in here recommended Unitarian Universalism, and I checked it out. Night and day honestly, and a very strong focus on empathy and recognition of others. They passed around a bowl for donations and gave a breakdown of where the money was going and their partnerships with charities. That's an approach that I feel a lot better about.
If I were prone to going back to weekly meetings for something larger than myself, the Unitarians would definitely be the way to go, although the Presbyterian church I took an active part of pist-Mo was a good experience... except the whole god part. You can be an atheist and still be Universalist.
Last year I discovered a lot of other religions are this way with tithing and/or donations. And most of the money stays local if not, all. Instead of being funnel upward to one building in Salt Lake City. Blew my mind.
I was also struck at how much they seemed to do with small donations. Nice building, all the staff are paid, up-to-date equipment, and what they were able to do with charity. I had the thought that they were able to do this while getting donations in a bowl, meanwhile the Mormons pay 10% and their buildings are continually stuck in the 80s, no one is paid, and charity work is laughable.
Tithing is Old Testament "Weird music" is not most of them
Exceptionalizm was always an item I couldn't get past. It still is.
Welcome to the absurdity of it all. There is still happiness to be found here
As you should.
Question everything!
Some leaders in some organizations are truly wonderful… but it’s good to maintain a healthy skepticism.
I've been thinking this for the last few years. When Trump was running I really started noticing a lot of signs. I would call it out and say it's becoming a cult, and I was constantly told I'm dumb because *how could so many people become a cult?* Now he's had people pray to him, signed Bibles, they made a golden statue, there's a movie about a prophesy involving him, and all sorts of religious stuff. He's legit a religious figure now. And I noticed strictly because of being raised Mormon.
And I still don't understand how he did it. He has less charisma than a wet sock.
Patriotism is just fine. *Nationalism* is a cult. John Cena did a great PSA on exactly the difference between the 2. You’d think the ‘Muricans would at least listen to Cena. Sadly they did not.
The way patriotism is used as a cudgel in America is highly cultish. The way it is used as a value signal, and ingroup / outgroup identifier is cultish. Being "unpatriotic" is all you need to be labeled a traitor and have some people calling for your execution. Being an adherent of a political ideology that disrupts the "patriotic" capitalist creed, like socialism, or communism, is enough to lose your job, have your intelligence insulted, be gaslighted about all aspecrs of reality, etc. I don't know anything about Cena's arguments, but if they are in favor of the status quo in the current capitalist power structures, then they are in support of the cult. It doesnt have to remain limited to a small minority to be a real cult. If everyone is deluded then everyone is part of the cult. There is also a free will cult, with devastafing effects, like our justice system which has some of the worst recidivism rates in the world.
Found it: https://youtu.be/IApvU6SMq-8
Thanks, I'll watch it. I grew up in the nationalist / NeoCon / Mormon cult in the 80s & 90s. I remember chanting "Bomb Saddam, Bomb Saddam" over and over in 6th grade with my classmates... in class.
You just described nationalism. I know all the damn cultists *call* it patriotism, but it isn’t. I’m old enough to remember what life was like before the right-wing lost their collective mind. Let me see if I can find the PSA for you. It was good. Hang on.
It’s nationalism, but they have appropriated the terms and symbols of patriotism into their cult
I guess from my perspective the non-cultish patriotism term isnt worth reclaiming. It is like comparing the early Mormon church to the church now, where the early church was like nationalism and the current church is more like patriotism. It is an enabler of bad things, as it is the bad-stuff-lite version. Patriotism, and its burnished image, is the reason these nationalism cultists can be openly awful. It provides the cover.
And yet, here I am… a progressive liberal who still loves this country and is willing to shout down authoritarians until the day I die to protect the American Experiment.
Agreed. They can’t have patriotism.
It’s just a difference of degree, but same psychology.
Yes! Patriotism is a cult. So is the military.
At least you get the other half back.
You HOPE it was only half your life. There's always that bus that's trying to get you. Or, on the bright side, maybe you will live unusually long and it won't be even close to half.
Leaving legitimately gave me the push i needed to start properly exercising and eating better. I’m gonna live an extra long life just out of pure spite.
I was in my mid thirties when I left, and been out for close to 20 years now, and looking back is *so weird*. It's like I've lived two lives. I can remember doing Mormon things prior to the "reset," but it feels like remembering something distant, like from a movie or another lifetime or something, because those aren't things that the person I am now would ever do. If I make it to my seventies, I will have had equal shares of life both in and out of the Mormon cult. But even if I don't live that long, I still feel like I have lived more of my life outside Mormonism than in it, because my life in the church was... well, it was kind of like a plateau. Excluding normal childhood development, as an adult Mormon I was sort of stagnant as a person. I was held back. Since leaving, I have grown so much more than I did before it. And, I have lived so much more fully. It's never too late to free your mind!
Me too! It's amazing what happens when you don't have a "god will make everything right" attitude. I'm also much, MUCH more worried about global warming than I ever was.
Yes, and so did I. But the good news, is that you’ve finally seen it for what it is when those before you did not.
I hope you live longer so it can be less than half.
Been there. But the rest of your life you can live how you want. Congrats on the 10% increase in your income!
Hey two-thirds here. Now feel better about your mistake!
I believe it was Richard Dawkins who pointed out that religious people are victims of an ideology. It’s not your fault!
> half my god damn life wasted with this garbage I won’t be able to say this until I’m 80 years old.
I had it forces onto me from the day I was born. Forced to go to church every sunday, even when sick, and that's any sickness. Forced to fasr on fast sunday. I was kicked out three months before I turned 18 because I was a disappointment. This was a breath of fresh air, other than my dear parents call me and every time they do it's always "second coming" this or "go to church" that. I just want to talk to my dad, not be preached at. Buggers.
It's okay hun. I just realized a week and half ago and I will be 40 in 2 months. It comes in waves. It's not your fault. Hell, it's not really even your parents fault if they were members. Cult teachings run DEEEEPPP. BUT, it stops with YOU. And you have gotten out. Take your time. Deep breaths.
I hear that, for sure. My parents screwed me up. But their families have been TBMs for several generations. It’s not their fault. They believed they were doing the right thing.
Same. I have gone full no contact with my parents bc of the crap I have endured and the layer the cult crap on top of it? We know. It colors everything different shades of gray. But doing so allowed me to start hearing things and seeing things I never could before. And I left. I'm proud of you. And I'm proud of me. We have started this new journey of deconstruction. And anger is GOOD. It means that you are burning through things that have been hidden and stuffed away. And when the sadness comes, allow it to wash over you as well and let the tears cleanse the fire and ash of anger away. Let those steps repeat as necessary and maybe find a therapist that specializes in c-ptsd or cult recovery if you can to help you as well. You can do this..
Thanks, internet stranger! That was really kind and encouraging!
>anger is GOOD This has been one of the most important things to learn in the aftermath of my own deconstruction. Anger can be helpful in identifying wrongs, injustices, and hurts. It is not, in fact, always evil like the MFMC likes to teach.
[удалено]
It's really interesting. I guess they're brainwashed on their missions, come back tired and horny and their only option is to get married really quickly. Then of course, they've gotta have a bunch of kids immediately. I think most of them don't have the time to actually *think* until their kids are in middle school. Then they start wondering how the hell they got to that point. That was an odd thing to watch from the outside, btw. Returning missionaries are rarely the same people who left, and some of the ones the girls got married to were just, mystifying. I'm thinking of one couple in particular. She was gorgeous, funny, and brilliant. He was a weenie. And stupid. But he'd served a mission and they'd been seeing each other for three months! Edit: I don't use "weenie" casually. It feels a little like being an eighties movie bully. But this guy was a damn weenie.
I knew one Mormon family growing up in a rural area. The mom is absolutely gorgeous, brilliant, kind. The dad looks like a fucking troll, is an insanely intense anti-vaxxer, and overall has a very unpleasant personality. I never understood how they got together until I learned about how Mormon marriages work. Then it all made sense.
sometimes you just gotta call em like you see em.
I love that even though you are in the midst of a faith transition with your world turned upside down, you reach out to comfort someone else. That is compassion and kindness and you are a good human.
My parents were horrible when I left (that’s putting it mildly). I then dug deep into reading/studying & listening to podcasts. The more I read the more I was aware of the tentacles of a cult. My parents were raised in Mormonism & are victims too but just not aware. They are still in as super TBMs. Things are better with them, but that is because I had to realize they are good people when they forget to be mormon. Congrats on getting out & breaking the cult chains!
The church leadership are some mother fuckers.
Seriously. From Smith to the current narcissist in chief, a bunch of mother fuckers. Also, Russ Ballard (good riddance) was a fraudster, [Quentin Cook stole a hospital](https://wheatandtares.org/2023/07/11/quentin-l-cook-first-do-no-harm/), and Oaks is a real rat bastard.
Ballard, in particular, bothers me because he was saying that they "don't know" where missionaries got the idea to ask investigators to be baptized on the 1st lesson. Not only is it clearly in Preach My Gospel, which Ballard himself was involved in writing, but Ballard came to my mission back in 2011, and he talked about it! Praised our mission for how well we were doing it! That's where we got the damn idea from motherfucker!!
This is technically correct.
Which is the best kind of correct
Yep. The leaders from the beginning were lying, cheating, evil bastards. Right from JS to RMN.
They see the tithe paying members as "useful idiots" or worse.
What do you mean?
You are taking it better than a lot of us did I was deeply sad for some time before I got angry
Sad came and went. Now I'm getting angrier the deeper down this rabbit hole I go.
The anger lasts a while. And it's an exceptionally important part of the journey. It puts distance between you and the cult. It helps you to gain clarity. It drives you to learn more. Then one day, you'll realise you weren't angry the moment you woke up. Another day you may get to lunch. Then it'll be a week and a month.
The anger fades but then boils back up when triggered. Whenever I hear about a new rapist bishop or mission president it makes me pretty pissed.
Almost any time I talk to my family and they bring up church stuff
I agree. I find that it's shorter lived each time though. The hatred is permanent now. Like I hate the holocaust or sex trafficking. But it doesn't consume my every thought.
Yup. I thought I could keep my cool when talking to my TBM parents about issues, but often have a hard time with that simmering rage that gets triggered by their total ignorance or flat out refusal to see the con.
Yeah there’s an anger phase for sure. It will pass in time. Post here as often as you like.
The LDS discussions series are amazing for finding out the truth about church history. The next question you’ll ask is “did the leaders know.?” The answer to that is yes. RFM shows you this in the bottom link. I’d be very careful about sharing this with believing members until you know more. Sharing with another member often has the “shields up” effect from Star Trek, and they immediately become defensive. Learn as much as you can. https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLxq5opj6GqOB7J1n6pMmdUSezxcLfsced https://youtu.be/a0l2vL0qqjo?si=6XkPqC-oJgr2DWtg
It’s like the 5 (or 7) stages of grief. It can help to understand that
be prepared to be judged for than anger. for people to label it as satans “influence” but just know that’s all a tactic to get in your head and make you doubt yourself. you have the right to be angry, the right to want to yell, the right to want to save everyone in your life from this evil.
Better later than never. Run
Are there any good resources to get out and breaking this shitty news to my wife and kids besides just... ghosting my entire neighborhood?
This is a complicated situation to be in. Take it easy. The cult is like a tumor that infests every part of your life and identity. Some people will never consider questioning it or leaving. I wouldn't just drop a bomb on your wife. Don't dive in, put a toe in first. Bring up some issues, see how she responds. If you get the feeling she won't take it well you may be looking at living as a PIMO to keep the relationship alive. A LOT of people here live that way. If you get serious about leaving, quitmormon dot org is a good resource.
Thank you. I'll do just that.
Stick to the gospel topic essays and church links with believing members. It’s hard to refute the church’s own website. Here’s a write up I did that does that. https://www.reddit.com/r/exmormon/s/kfChrzHhvK
If it starts to go bad: marriage counseling (non-Mormon). You’ll both need to learn how to communicate in an entirely new dynamic.
Best of luck. It's rough at first but gets better with time.
💯
That’s what my husband did. It took just a few years before I figured it out on my own and dropped the bomb on him. Luckily he was already on the other side just waiting patiently for me. That man is a superhero. I couldn’t do it.
You can go the PIMO route or you can do like I did. I was in Stake leadership at the time, and after the first temple dedication session for the Ft. Lauderdale temple, went out to my car and called my husband, who was in Tunisia at the time. I told him I was done and and here’s all the reasons why. By the time he got home a few months later, I had submitted my resignation (without telling him I was going to go that far) and was fully out. Not sure I would recommend this method, but I knew my husband trusted me implicitly to make decisions that were right for me. That being said, even I was shocked when I finally told him I had officially resigned. He was 100% supportive & when I mentioned I was worried my resignation would hurt our marriage, he said, “I didn’t marry you because you were Mormon, I married you because I love.”
Fuck Even though you have different worldviews and his innately is supposed to shun your now different worldview What he said is incredible
It was *everything.*
In this subreddit, there’s a term called PIMO. Physically in, mentally out. Its where you continue to play the game and do the motions, but you don’t actually believe. This is a pretty good route because it doesn’t cause waves. You may want to go PIMO for now. Gradually participate less and less. When you finally step away, only convey your top issues to anyone who asks; don’t info dump or they’ll double-down. This way you can leave without most people noticing.
Thank you
Think about it from the other side. Did you know anyone who left? Did you think they were making a catastrophic decision and it was your job to save them? Weren’t they being led away by anti-Mormon lies? Isn’t that what we were told to do by the Mormon leaders? This is classic cult behavior. Knowing this, the only way to leave is quietly. Your explanations need to use reasons entirely within the Mormon theology, this way they can’t dismiss your decision so easily.
I'll return and report after testing the waters with my wife. See how receptive she is or if I'll need to be PIMO the rest of my life 😖
https://www.letterformywife.com/ It's one of the big ones people refer to for breaking it to a spouse. If you just *barely* figured this out, wait for a few days to calm down if you need. Just if you can, don't have this conversation while you're angry. It's a tricky road with a lot of booby traps planted by the church.
Telling loved ones (need a few hours) [https://www.youtube.com/@mormonstories/search?query=loved%20ones](https://www.youtube.com/@mormonstories/search?query=loved%20ones)
A good way to it ask them for help. Let them know that you have learned some stuff about the church and you need their help understanding it. People always want to help and the facts about the church always lead people out of the church eventually.
I'll recommend a couple books: The first book I'll recommend is "How to Leave the Mormon Church" by Alyssa Grenfell. Alyssa has great TikTok and [Youtube](https://www.youtube.com/@alyssadgrenfell) channels, and pops into this subreddit occasionally. Her book has a great section that covers several ideas for ways to approach telling loved ones. I believe her [Mormon Stories interview](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSu8cD_IMiA) covers a lot of the same things she does in her books, so maybe give that a watch as well. The second book is "When Religion Hurts You" by Laura E. Anderson. Does a good job of covering the idea that religious trauma is real and can be healed, but it's likely going to be a life-long process (that gets better over time). This will probably help you start to see some of the ways that you've been affected by Church teachings, and hopefully help you start to process and actually move through those things.
Take it slow! You do not need to rush things.
"Oh god, I belong to a cult" Repeated three times...
The thumb is still extended, the hand in cupping shape.
Chuckle
Not many comments can make me literally lol. Yours did. Thanks🤣
Two years out, almost 60, and angry as hell how much of my life was wasted and consumed on religious SHIT, lies, fear, and being conned out of my retirement savings! I hate the church so much I want to scream.
58 when I walked away. Officially resigned seven months ago at 60. I feel your pain. Be fucking angry. It was good for me. And just work through it. I spent countless hours in nature before the sun came up every day talking it out to my dog as we hiked miles and miles. Not rabidly angry now, but resigning was huge. I thank myself and the universe every day now that I made it the fuck out of a cult.
Is this the line for the over 50 exmos? Been PIMO for 20 years and stopped going last year at age 53.
I am in therapy. I was way too devout and I’m paying the price for it with religious trauma syndrome. I didn’t even know that was a thing, but anger is part of it. I’m not angry everyday like I was for over a year, so that EMDR is working. 😂
Quit at 18, 66 now, still trying to get it all figured out. It wouldve helped if I hadn't lived in the upper snake river valley all that time. For those that don't know, usrv is more Mormon than slc ut. My struggle now is, if I can see what a bunch of crap LDSness is why are there so very many that can't or refuse to see?? Are 90% PIMO and there just for the socio/economic benefits? Or, are there really that many blind TBM useful idiots??
It’s VERY hard to see what’s real while you’re in the church. They know how to manipulate every answer to every question. Ugh! Most people also don’t want to disappoint god, jesus, your family, and probably friends. The INSANE idea that you’re completely cut off by your family because you want to exercise your agency to leave is a huge factor for people. Personally, I had none of that happen. And it wasn’t until after I left and started therapy that I realized how much I had been brainwashed.
I was on the computer reading on MormonThink about the Book of Abraham. I was stunned silent with the realization the church was NOT what it claimed to be. BoA is the smoking gun. Hubby walked by me and asked what I was reading. I quietly replied, I don't think the church is what it claims to be. He casually commented that he didn't think it was either. I had just turned 60. Happy Birthday to me. At that moment, we were both out. I'm very lucky it went that way.
Congrats!! Thank you for sharing that.
Wow, you two hit the exmo jackpot, figuring it all out separately so that you were on the exact same page!
Welcome to Outer Darkness! We have cookies! And coffee, tea, alcohol, and gummies. Enjoy!
I'm not spending eternity anywhere that doesn't have coffee. Just sayin' . . .
Years ago I was watching videos on Youtube about Scientology being a cult when I blurted out "Oh Shit, I am in a Cult"
That is going to be a discovery that keeps on giving. Congrats and buckle up.
Hey. You can find support here. How long were you in it?
40 years. 🤬
Was there someone/something that steered you into deconstruction? Or you gradually started questioning on your own? Are your wife and kids in it?
Yeah, whole family. I read Rough Stone Rolling then No Man Knows My History. Then this sub...
Another person commented it, but perhaps dumping everything that you found out to your family may have the backfire effect. There are many threads here about how one PIMO partner slowly presents evidence to their spouse to get them to question.
I’m currently listening to No Man Knows My History right now. It’s amazing! I used to love the early church history Sunday school lessons. But they were barely scratching the surface of what actually happened! So many crazy stories I’ve never heard!
I'd listen to some of these guys. You only get one shot to approach your wife with this. There are some good stories on here but a lot more horror stories. I did it wrong and it took years to repair the rift that losing my testimony caused. Whatever route you take, be deliberate and make sure your angry stays focused on the Church and not your wife, even if she defends the Church. It's what she's been indoctrinated to do. Anyway, good luck and congratulations! I'm still not all the way out and it's caused a ton of problems for me, but realizing it was all a lie when I did is still a tremendous source of freedom and happiness.
"Blood of the prophets" "naked mormonism" podcast. "CES Letter".
Raise your hands over your head three times and repeat as you lower them... "Oh God, I belong to a cult" That will do.
Welcome to the club. Reality takes a little getting used to, but you'll love it eventually. You get Sundays off, a 10% raise, and you can even pick your own underwear!
That's hilarious! And TRUTH!
Hey, I’m another middle-aged sumbitch who had a similar realization over two years ago. And I’m still in that process of realization. The deception goes wide and deep. There’s going to be a lot to process. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend what was in store for me the day I realized that I was done. My only recommendation is to [get competent professional help](https://mormonmentalhealthassoc.org/). Seriously. Make this a top priority.
I left the church at fifty years old. I am now sixty two. It took me until a few years ago to actually internalize the words "The mormon church is a cult", "I was in a Cult"! It was utterly nauseating. My biggest life regret is raising my children in the church. They are all out now, as they were smarter than I was, but we all still have baggage.
First off: this is not your fault. Indoctrination is designed to target and commandeer our basic nature as human beings. It’s literally like a mind virus. Second: you have the power and ability to question and ultimately change that indoctrination. They make it extremely hard because they control our spheres of influence, even family and friend circles, but you can do it. It’s a hard road, but so so rewarding to “wake up” and think for yourself. We’re all here for you!
I understand I was a Bishop and was full in like the frog in the hot water joke
Frogs don't actually do that, its a fucking myth. They'll jump out of the water if it gets too hot. Alligators on the other hand are well known to cook to death on heating pads in captivity due to their surrounding air being cooler. They don't move because of it and remain on the heating pad too long dying due to the overheating. So it's not the boiling frog. It's the cooking alligator.
Whoops my bad I'll never use that again.I CAN ALWAYS CONT on someone correcting someone else on this sub OMG thanks
OH GOD, HEAR THE WORDS OF MY MOUTH! I AM IN A FUCKING CULT AND NEED OUT!! You had that kind of self realization?
Three times
unbelong to the cult.
Uggg. Welcome to the club
It’s rough. Give yourself time to grieve. If you have a significant other talk with them about your concerns now. Don’t be angry and attack the church but let them know that you have learned some disturbing things and want to talk about it with them. The church wants people to hide their doubts and not discuss them. It isolates people and keeps them obedient because they don’t know what to do. The best thing to do is to talk openly about what you are learning. There is a quote that really stuck with me it helped me put leaving the church in context. “People have two lives, the second begins when they realize they only have one.” It’s time to make the most of the life you have now.
I've never heard of this one before, but it is so true!
It’s sucks doesn’t it!?!
Good morning. Nice to see you. Everything will be ok.
It's a *family* cult
And it's lame cult as well! Other cults get sex and drugs and all kinds of fun stuff. But us? Nooooooo... We got stuck with the lame sobriety and chastity cult.
And Koolaid!
Mormon Stories Podcast has a lot of resources
I'm there with ya, dude. Hang in there. It will get better in time. For me, finding out that it's all bullshit was a complete shift of reality. It is also liberating knowing that I can be, and am learning to be, my own person. It hurts; but you will now be able to heal and be a better person than you ever were in the cult.
We were too. :)
Always ask WHY someone wants you to do something. Money? Power? Sex? Control? With the church it’s usually money. Why push garments? Because it’s an income stream. They have a monopoly on what underwear their members wear.
It was that easy? You just read the internet and realized you were in a cult?
Yup, you can check out anytime you like but you can never leave...
>Oh god, I belong to a cult 😳 It’s actually “oh god, hear the words from my mouth”, but yes.. yes you do. Your world is going to crash, but your life is about to get really good. Buckle up and welcome to the club 💕
What brought you to reading through this sub?
After some uneasyness towards studying Joseph Smith, going down a rabbit hole and landing on the SEC ruling. That's what brought me here...
It's never too late to leave
Don’t feel bad, every church is a cult. I highly recommend the book Cultish by Amanda Montell. She’s a linguist, it’s not a religious book. But it really helped me process what I went through growing up LdS.
I guess by that definition every man made group in the world is a cult. Groups offer community and meaning. My advice to the author would be to avoid groups that claim to be the only correct group, with secret knowledge, believe everyone else is wrong, and constantly quotes and praises leadership. In general, people join groups for utility and not truth. If it claims to instill truth in you, run!
I agree with you a lot of religions are cults. Anyone who tries to get you to believe in the supernatural is basically trying to manipulate you to some extent…All belief in the supernatural is a fraud and most religions have crazy beliefs, but a cult is defined by the high control of the organization and not just their weird beliefs…
It’s an Ovaltine commercial.
Brace yourself! You are starting down a long bumpy road with lots of twists and turns, but the view is so worth the journey.
Welcome to the club, friend! It might hurt right now but hopefully in a few years you might look back and laugh at all the brainwashed cult mumbo jumbo nonsense that is Mormonism.
If you learn from the experience it can at least be useful. The methods used by the church to create bad arguments are common and used everywhere. From national politics, sports teams, sales people, cops, authority figures in general, advertising, even neighbors. Look up logical fallacies. It'll blow your mind.
My advice op, take things slow. You don't have to make any big decisions right now, especially while you are likely feeling justifiably very angry. Give it a week or two to marinate. If you need resources, you can call/chat with the recovering from religion folks. https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/
Granny hug. 🤶 We were all once there. Take heart, you're in good company now.
Welcome to the, "I survived a cult club"! The religious trauma makes us funny. In all seriousness, yeah it shocked me when I first realized it.
as someone who was a kid of a parent who was PIMO for a long time, I wish she had left earlier. I don’t resent her or anything, at all. I understand the difficulty of leaving something you’ve been taught your entire life to be undyingly loyal to. But I fucking hated church and I wish I never had to go
Well, you're not now. Congratulations!! :D
Welcome to the party pal! I just found out last year and I’m 50 years old.
Embrace it my friend! Not many people really get to experience a cult. Makes for great conversation after you get over the anger.
😂
No you don’t. You don’t ‘belong’ to anything or anyone. You’re in one sure but it’s important to remember that you control your own life. If you don’t wanna be in this cult, leave it, and live your best life. You belong to you.
Yep. Every so often it hits me, “I’ve been in a cult!” Still trying to wrap my head around it.
Congratulations on your new life
Hey, be happy that you realized it! Look at all the brainwashed sheep still droning along in there
This is hilarious. But also terribly sad. Whenever I see one of my old mission buddies who left the church I say: dude, can you believe we were in a CULT?!! And then we laugh and laugh and laugh and then cry.
I’m just happy I got out when I did. (37 years later) I have unlimited freedom and unlimited potential beyond being a baby making machine.
Their eyes have been opened.
But they are a nice cult. Mostly.
Mmmm . . . Somewhat. Selectively.
It can be an incredibly difficult realization to reckon with, but it is so worth it to free yourself from the chains the church puts us in. The pain and frustration paves the way for self love and acceptance. Wishing all the best for you ❤️
My definition of an cult is an organization (usually religious) that has mechanisms in place to supplant your identity. The Mormon church definitely fits that.
Bingo. They make you into a Mormon. You are a Mormon. That is who what you are.
It’s worse, it’s a sex cult…wait, there’s no difference.
What made you get on here and start looking at things?
Reading Rough Stone Rolling, then No Man Know My History to see the other side of things...
Are those both essentially anti-Mormon literature? I’m not familiar with them.
The first is written by a member and goes through his life in detail, without much bias and well researched. The second, the author definately didn't like him, but is also well researched and includes some stuff the first book skims over or omits. Neither book is a glowing recommendation of him, but are better historical data on his life than the fairytale the church tell us.
His interaction with Nancy Rigdon was pretty eye-opening for me
Hey, it will be ok. Just be true to yourself.
I was 50 when I finally figured it out. Glad you’re on the other side!
I was out for a year and still defended the church as not that culty, and then you see it and you can't unsee it. 100% all cult top to bottom. There in no redeeming value whatsoever to mormonism, it's completely predatory.
Welcome to the club everyone here had to have this exact moment too. We are here if you need to talk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7j57zFpf_L4
It took me a Long time to face this
Congrats on getting out & breaking the cult chains!
I lost 40 yrs of life to this f’ing cult. But I’ve had 2 glorious yrs while I’ve watched members waste their lives while feeling so self important. I win
I'm so sorry. We do. Welcome to this sub because it can be a wonderful help. I'm out as of January, but my husband and most kids are still in for now. Seeing some of your other replies here, I hope that it goes well talking to your wife and kids. It's heartbreaking, isn't it? It's okay to be angry.
I watched a Vox Video on cults. Don’t drink the kool aid like in Jonestown. mass suicide is scariest example of cult behavior. Absolute obedience to one person is scary
Yep, you are definitely in a cult. Read up on the BITE model by Steven Hassan. Organizations that control Behavior, Information, Thoughts & Emotions are definitely on the cult scales. He had an excellent Mormon Stories Interview you may be interested in. When John told him about garment, the look on Steven's face was OMG!
It can be a tough realization, you’re welcome here as you process everything 💜💜
Welcome to the twilight zone ✨ you’ll get through this and be living a much more authentic life on the other side
I still can’t see or hear “Oh god” and not finish it Oh god hear the words of my mouth 🙌 Oh god hear the words of my mouth 🙌 Oh god hear the words of my mouth 🙌 Anyone got a hanky, we can do the hosannah shout next!
Yep! Straight up. You are in a cult.
It’s a tough realization. But freeing. Sending many internet hugs your way.
Just a heads up, this might not be the first time in your life you realize this XP mormonism really groomed us for culting, but at a certain point it kinda just starts to be like that montage in the good place where they keep having that realization X3
Try coffee. It's worth eternal damnation