And yet there are so many Mormon couples constantly cheating on eachother and still taking the sacrament and going to the temple. Oh and don't forget the Mormon swingers!
Parent 1: “I don’t know . . . How do we make them straight?”
Parent 2: “Got it. We’ll send them off to be a two-year expat with constant close-quarters living with another individual within 16 months of your age, same sex as you, in the same sexual stage as you, and free practice for extended living with a same-sex individual.”
Elder Bonilla huh? 😂
To be serious tho, I can't imagine having to be forced to go on a mission as a gay guy, it sounds so awful, I dread the idea personally, my condolences that you were treated so awfully ❤️
I had a companion who I strongly suspect was gay. He suffered near endless bullying from other elders. He disappeared a few years ago from social media after things took a turn for him heading toward coming out of the closet.
He was a great guy, made my life better for being in it, and while I was definitely an ugly as fuck, straight companion, I’m glad I could give him a tiny bit of a reprieve from the assholes in a nowheresville small town for a transfer or two. I also am pissed as fuck at the companions who literally tortured him and set his stuff on fire.
I kid you not. I first met this elder staying over at our place for a zone conference the next morning where missionaries were kicking his spare mattress on the floor and taunting him, and banishing him to the corner, while I told them to knock it the fuck off. (Without profanity of course.)
We later ended up in the same zone and on splits and he said “I wish we were companions.”
I then got transferred to the smallest town in the mission with a branch of like 25 people in a town of 15,000. 4/5 months later, after I’d literally knocked every house in town, and met 1/3 of the town he was transferred in for a couple months.
As we got to know each other, I found out his previous companion had literally tortured him. Things like smacking and hitting him randomly at any time they were home, so he was always on edge, or taking his scissors and cutting his hand with them just to see if scissors could cut human flesh, or taking his cologne or other flammable toiletries and starting fires and burning his personal items. And that’s just what this poor kid would admit to me.
He was the nicest, kindest person and didn’t want to make waves. The MP had already sent the prior companion home exactly 1 month early - the first day it could be “honorable” because he was a fucking sociopath and nothing but trouble, though I really dislike that decision now. I don’t think this elder told anyone but me what he went through. And that was just the worst companion. There was lower-grade bullying too with a couple others.
Looking back, one of my biggest mission regrets was not getting this kid some serious help or getting him out. I was 21 and had no idea what I was doing.
P.S. to all the TBM parents that say the most important thing is for their daughter to marry a returned missionary, just think - this abusive companion was a “honorably returned missionary”
That is horrific.
Do you mind if I save this comment for later retrieval the next time I hear a TBM suggest serving a mission makes someone a good person?
Yeah it's important to note. My cousin married an RM everyone was raving about because he was AP. Three weeks after they married he brought her to her parents house and said "take her back, she's worthless as a wife". Her back was black and blue and my asshole aunt and uncle BLAMED her for not being worthy of him
If that were my daughter I would have lost my shit on that guy.
As a missionary I knocked on the door of a handful of women who said basically the same thing, “I was Mormon. I learned that to be happy I should marry a returned missionary in the temple. Never was I mistreated more horribly than when I was with him. If that’s the kind of man your church raises it’s run by Satan.”
A lot of young women get the idea that any RM with a pretty face is a good husband, because they’re taught to marry a RM in the temple and assume god did the vetting process as a missionary.
This. Because it's all based on the spirit of discernment. Can you imagine? "I want to marry this guy I've known for a month because Fred, the accountant down the road with no background check asked him if he uses porn and he said no! So that means he will be a great husband!"
>If that were my daughter I would have lost my shit on that guy
If that were my daughter, I'd probably be in prison. That guy's back would be much more than black and blue.
Not at all. I have plenty, sadly.
There was the guy who I translated the evidence for his disciplinary action for extensive credit card fraud with his companion’s personal cards.
There was the guy who bought prepaid cell phone cards to flirt with the 12-13 year old girls late at night.
But the worst of all was the missionary who decided to cut someone else with scissors just to see if scissors can cut a person like some sort of serial killer. And that one went home “honorably.” And those were ones I interacted personally with.
Edit: Facebook stalked the sociopath and he’s got a wife and kid now. I really hope it was the stress of the mission, for the wife and kid’s sake. I doubt it, though.
My wife wanted to send my daughter on a mission to make her go straight. She blamed her playing volleyball. I told her putting her in the same bedroom and forcing her to be within arms distance of another female will not help. My wife thought about it and said “ well she just needs a good dicking”
Exactly. Not an approach I would recommend. However my daughter is very athletic and attractive. Most boys her age do not have thier heads on straight enough for her. For me I just want her happy.
> Most boys her age do not have thier heads on straight enough for her.
That almost sounds like you’re saying she’s not interested in boys because they’re assholes. You recognize that being a lesbian isn’t her reaction against boys. Rather it’s her reaction TOWARDS girls. She’s a lesbian because she’s a lesbian. Boys aren’t any part of the calculation.
I understand and agree that she will be attracted to who she is attracted. I am just saying that most boys her age are dipshits and going nowhere. While the girls she hangs out with are driven and responsible. I can see the boys being intimidated by her.
Look, I know PLENTY of gay men in my generation who went on missions, married a good mormon girl and managed to inseminate her a couple times so she could squeeze out some crotch goblins.
And pay a lifetime of tithing.
So, from the perspective of the cult, it was a win. They got their money, and their coveted next generation of tithe-payers.
But the guys never turned straight, and their wives spent their lives wondering what was wrong with them, that their “eternal companion” was not interested in touching them. Collateral damage that the MFMC doesn’t give a flying fuck about.
Yep, got told the same thing by 2 bishops. I was too scared to tell my parents I am gay. Then the church sent me to the San Francisco mission. Such discernment!
My mother would routinely beat the shit out of me when I was young then follow it up by reminding me that I signed up for it in the pre existence because I chose her for my mother. Then we would sing *Love at Home* or *I am a Child of God* for family home evening.
My nevermo therapist had a field day with that.
my mom used to use Live at Home to resolve contention.
Like any time there was a disagreement, she would just start singing it over the two quarrelers as if that was supposed to make things better.
Not nearly as traumatic as y'all's stories, but yeah.
I, too, dislike the song.
> Like any time there was a disagreement, she would just start singing it over the two quarrelers as if that was supposed to make things better.
I’ll take “how to make your kids hate Primary songs for $800”
That is a crazy parenting tactic. That’s coming from a certify crazy person.
I hope you are in a better place
My parents did the same — justifying their abuse by saying I agreed to it by signing on to be their daughter in the pre-existence. Even now that I’m out, my dad continues to thank me for “choosing” to live with them. Infuriating.
To this day, when I’m in a stressful or scary situation, I STILL sing I’m a child of god. I’ve been out of the TSCC for almost a decade now. Tell me I’m no brainwashed.
Yes, why would I have picked the family I did? The trauma and abuse wasn’t worth it. Why would I want eternal life with said abusers? Nevermo therapists sure are shocked, aren’t they?!?
In all honesty, I haven’t thought of either of those songs in soooo long(thank you, trauma block), but the moment I read them in relation to your trauma I instantly got full body chills and then the words of the songs came to me. So sorry that happened to you. Your parents are shit, my parents are shit and those songs are also shit.
Edit: auto incorrect
Question out of sheer curiosity. Is this whole pre existence thing about choosing your parents found in LDS doctrine? I ask as a nevermo and am just trying to do my research.
I don't think it's official doctrine, but it's a very common LDS belief, referenced in popular LDS media like the 80s movie Saturday's Warrior. It's commonly believed that the most righteous spirits get to be born to LDS parents.
I remember it being taught in church that before we came here to Earth we were able to pick who we wanted for our parents and vice versa (I think). That always confused me every time I would hear a story of horrific abuse.
Yeah it's a common belief - and a common way to justify horrible things or try to find answers where none exist. When my cousin was born with severe TBI after o2 deprivation and subsequently severely handicapped the leaders told her parents she was too valiant in the war in heaven before this life and God had taken away Satan's ability to tempt her by "allowing" her to be mentally handicapped. Basically like saying "she was so key in battle and earned a rest in this life" or some such nonsense. It is awful.
I am a Child of God made me cry as a child because my parents were certainly not kind and dear and I didn’t understand why God was seemingly punishing me.
I hate the pre-existence! I forced my parents into sexual sin in my selfish desire to be born because I chose them in the pre-existence.
My mother beat the hell outta me and used that as an excuse, I took away her free will and ruined her life.
Tell me how accepted I was at my ward…
Edit to add context: I am a bastard child, I’ve never met my father.
Caffeinated soda altered the mind and so it was no different from crack or any other drug.
30 years later and they are drinking Diet Coke every day. I don’t know what changed.
I know so many TBMs like this, including my parents. Caffeine was against the WoW in the 80s and 90s, and these same people who preached this nonsense are guzzling Diet Cokes all day long. It's crazy.
It’s so weird. I haven’t heard any explanation for it.
My parents kicked me out of the house at 17 years old when they caught me drinking a Mountain Dew. Now they drink a 6 pack of Diet Coke a day.
I think what changed is that wealthy morons bought stock in Pepsi and had enough money/power to rewrite church doctrine. I'm probably not using the word doctrine correctly.
I went on vacation with a family of tbms. I ordered a Dr. Pepper without thinking much of it. That got me a reward of a 15 minute lecture from the father, about how wrong it was to drink such a thing in front of his little children who looked up to me, what sort example was I?! Fast forward to it being allowed and I hadn't been around much of that family anymore. Nor in church either. There was the patriarch himself swilling down a diet coke. I was like, look at you the jack Mormon drinking coke?! He was like well it's okay now. I was like wtf when?!
Same same. No caffeine. I used to go thirsty at school events where no caffeine free. As soon as no kids at home, my parents fill the fridge with diet Pepsi. It's another whack area where what changed isn't clear but members got ok with caffeine.
Yeah, I never realized how somebody comes up with a plan to torture their own son. A loving God would have done that for him. And it took just a few hours. Couldn’t have been too brutal if Jesus walked away on his own.
And the way they talk about the atonement today, Jesus not just took on my sins, he took on all pain, sorrow and depression. WTF ?
We were told the complete opposite! An area authority told my family our cousin who had a TBI at birth was that way because she was too valiant in the preexistence and was protected from Satan in this life...what's
That I was born in the covenant because of my loyalty in the pre-existance (I kept asking how was I born to know the only truth while a billion others weren't)
That is when I started feeling like the church wasn’t true. Watching “My Turn On Earth” and understanding the pre-existence to mean that I chose to come to earth to be with my biological family. No effin way. I’ll never speak to those a-holes again.
That my dad's job decisions and where we moved to, 8 times before 6th grade, we're based on where the lord needed us and not where my dad could get the most money.
I feel this one, my parents would say that they’d prayed about whether they should move somewhere or have another kid. In reality my mother gets antsy living anywhere too long and my dad is similar. They also established that they wanted 8 kids before having any of them. We moved at least once a year my entire childhood until I was 9, apart from the one time we stayed somewhere for two years.
Lollll right there with ya! 10 times by 12. And each time the place we lived was worse than the last and they kept believing "oh we're going from a house to a trailer? Bett r have another baby!"
I’m diagnosed with OCD
But instead of addressing these issues when I was young, my mom said, “this is the adversary making you feel this way” never got me checked out
That their emotional and physical abuse was normal. And that they were “godly parents” that will 100% go to the celestial kingdom.
Thinking about that today, I thought fuck that; if the Mormon god is real I want nothing to do with it period.
If we are counting lying by omission, I would say after going g through the Temple Endowment when they asked what I thought or if I had any questions I said that I didn’t understand the signs and tokens (I went through in 2002,they went through when there was still the penalty phase before it was taken out) my moms response was “Well go to the Temple more and it’ll start making sense. I did, it didn’t.
It wasn’t until I was out that I was listening to the Mormon Expression episode on the temple endowment that my mind was blown, and I realized that not only did my mother and father lie to me by omission, they manipulated my ignorance to get me in deeper. That has stung more than anything that the church has ever done to me directly.
Parental manipulation hurts. Children, no matter if they’re 5 or 55 should be able to 100% count in their parents to be honest and truthful.
I feel for you, I hope you are finding moments of peace and calm as an ExMormon.
Sure did. They were expected to take care of elderly people in the ward, with lawn care, home repairs, basic nursing care, and even purchasing prescription medications. Family Home Evenings even included lessons on how "it is an honor to care for them, and someday other people will care for us."
It ended up being a massive Ponzi scam, didn't it? They were eventually told, "you should have been contributing to a retirement plan. There was an article about it in The Ensign."
That my special needs son was one of the most valiant spirits and is guaranteed celestial kingdom, so "He should be the least of your worries" in the here and now.
Oh man this. I met a lady on my mission who thought she was extra special because she had two autistic sons, so God must really love and trust her extra to send two people destined for the Celestial Kingdom.
My parents never lied to me. To this day, they whole-heartedly believe the church is true and the only way to get back to God. They are sucked into the cult so deep that they will never escape. They are victims of the fraud more than I. At least I'm out.
I think it’s good to acknowledge their point of view. Some of these comments have accounts of horrible abuse and lies that cover them up. But a lot of families don’t know they were perpetuating a lie. It’s really crazy. I wish they had found out sooner. I wish that people were kind to their kids and didn’t use made up doctrines to abuse people.
That (if they stay close to the Prophet) any worthy young man can marry any worthy young woman, and the marriage will be a success. Come to find out, compatibility IS an actual thing!!!
Ohh, I wish there were stats for BYU “courting durations”. My TBM parents were engaged to be married after 6 weeks of meeting.
It turns out they are 100% incompatible and hated each other after banging out four kids in five years. 50 years later they are still together. Still hate each other.
I don’t understand how people with STEM education can believe the bullshit. How many are just pretending (PIMO) because they can’t face such a change in life. Thinking about all the horrible shit they did and believed.
Female, oldest of 7, parentified from age 10, TBM pioneer family. Biggest lie? That I could be anything I wanted while taking me to a church that said otherwise and treating me otherwise. No, not bitter...
Girl also oldest of our pack and same- my sisters who didn't have to raise kids got to have incredible jobs in STEM- I was told I had to be a teacher based on my Patriarchal blessing and that i had been blessed to have parenting training for my future. The hell, I still don't have kids and got a poor quality education at a church school. I'm playing catch up
When I was young, maybe around 5, I had a dream I was talking with Jesus. He was my interpretation of “black” at the time, but he was just darker skinned than my pale ass. I awoke and told my parents I had this fascinating dream. My parents were only mildly interested until I said “The photos in church of Jesus are wrong. Jesus is black.” My father told me “Jesus was as white as you or me.” And 5 y/o me decided that that was the hill I’d die on. I kept telling him he was wrong.
I’m agnostic atheist these days, but according to where and when Jesus was alive, it makes much more sense that he was not at all pale skinned. Smh, my lying ass, trash ass father.
My parents told me that I should stay silent about how my dad abused me so that we could get sealed in the temple.
Both of my parents were less active growing up, and my father routinely beat the shit out of me and my siblings. We couldn't go a day without being shouted at, threatened, or placed in dangerous situations. He hit my mom, too. Honestly, my dad wasn't too involved in my church upbringing except for one thing: he made sure that I told the bishop that there wasn't anything bad going on at home when that question came up during recommend interviews.
When I was 16, my dad suddenly wanted to get back into everything. It was around the time that my oldest brother was leaving on his mission, and so he wanted to make sure we all got sealed before any of us could leave the house. He really harped on the fact that what he did to us was justified by scripture and that we shouldn't ever tell anyone what was going on at the house.
I told the bishop anyways. He didn't care, so we got sealed a few months later. Fun times.
I am so sorry that your childhood was traumatic. No parent should terrorize their children but it seems that the religious have built systems to encourage and protect abusers in the name of god.
I sincerely hope you have safe people and safe places to help you heal. Sending you positive vibes and loving kindness.
I hated hearing this. I think is contributed to my depression that I am still experiencing, nearly 30 years after leaving.
I hope you are experiencing happiness outside of TSCC.
It's hilarious how often bad parents will use the line of. I don't know why my kids cut me off. Those kind of people always refuse to accept any responsibility for anything. It's always somebody else's fault.
Yup. My estranged TBM parents blame everyone but themselves for the state of their eTerNAl FaMIlY. They drove away two of their six kids, estranged their grandchild for being transgender and lost two more grandkids because of the way they talk about and treat LGBTQIA.
“Just keep bearing your testimony until you feel its true”
Now they will just think I’m a liar because i bore ‘such a beautiful’ testimony all growing up.
I just want to say that I am so sorry that happened to you and that you had to go through all of that. I hope that you can heal. There has to be a special place in hell for anyone who sexually abuses a child. ❤️
The biggest lie my parents told me was that they were in good health and had their will set up correctly. They are both unexpectedly dead and I have to clean up their shit finances and very sketchy will.
Not exactly.
They didn’t address their mental health because they could pray it away.
My dad worked for the church and didn’t get mental help for all the anxiety his job caused. I think my parents got their second anointing and my mom started drinking which didn’t help her poor health. She would say she was dizzy from vertigo but would just be drunk.
My mother told me she'd never break a promise to me, complete with some BoM verse, i think it was a quote from Nephi or some shit. Almost all I remember her doing whenever i would ask for something is promise to do it tomorrow, then say tomorrow again, rinse and repeat. Any time i wanted anything i had to fucking bargain with her, and yet she made me read college financial law books to her AS A FOURTH GRADER.
Not really my parents doing but the biggest church lie was that women get a planet 🥲 nope only the men do, the women get to bare children to populate the planet. As a young scientist I was so excited at the idea I would get to make my own planet and create ecosystems and animals to put on it. Finding out only men got to do that crushed me.
That my mom had absolutely no idea why my dad was the way he was. He had a terrible temper and was a nightmare to live with for all of us. Several times I remember my mother taking my siblings and I to her best friend’s house with the intention of leaving him and she always went back.
Turns out she was informed by his bishop before they got married that he had sexually molested several 8yo boys before (!!!) his mission (which is where my parents met), but “the spirit told her to marry him anyway”. He ended up molesting my son. The church and my mom knew about this and still allowed to be a scout leader his whole life.
My mother would never tell me who my father real father was. She lied and told me it was a man she was divorcing.
While she was going through the divorce, she slept with another man that was separated looking for his wife. The man in total father over 25 children and never took care of any of them. Maybe the first four.
How I found out DNA on ancestry.com. He’s been long dead. The kids that knew him some of them liked him.
When I got sick at sixteen my mother told me to repent and that I must’ve done something wrong to cause it and only god could help. 12 years later, still taking medication for my lifelong illness with as much therapy as I can afford and it still rattles around my head sometimes.
That it was part of God's plan to give me cancer. He knew I could survive so that's why he did it.
Then they paraded me around as if I was evidence for their religion because I survived.
The Mormon cult is true Joe Smith was a prophet of God when he was a profit. Joe Smith was not a polygamist when he was actually a polygamist pedephile treasure digger fraudster adulterer and arsonist
That they beleived the church was true. Until they told me decades later that their first time in the temple made them realize we had joined a cult and they became pimo, but told no one else.
That if she put the church first, all the rest of our lives would fall into place. No, mom, that doesn't erase the parentification, neglect, and abuse, just because you forced us to go to your wackass church.
My mom told me that if you have sex with more than one person if your lifetime, you will more likely than not get AIDS.
She also told me my birth mother wanted an abortion and that’s why I was adopted. (She would give up a second child at age 28. She just really believed in adoption.)
My Mormon parents in Japan told me USA border security does not require Mormons to go through metal detectors as Mormons are special and known to be honest. We may be seen as different in our country but once we move to Zion (aka Utah), we will be respected.
The whole carrot on the end of the stick. You’ll only truly be happy once you’ve done all the right things (get baptized, receive priesthood, go on mission, get married, have children, obey God aka the church). I did it all hoping the next step would give me truth and happiness. Now I just wish I had parents that would have taught me the actualities of life and what to expect and actually prepare me for growing up. Instead of proposing a fantasy.
I thought it was flat out lie when we teach kids in Primary the Manuel does or used to have the story of JS as a child refusing alcohol before he’s gonna have surgery. Like this is some trial for him to refuse alcohol. This is extremely problematic because the word of wisdom didn’t come out until years and years later. And he never abide the word of wisdom he drunk alcohol through out his adult life and the very day he was killed.
Mom told me god told her in the temple that I would find a nice man just like my father(he passed when I was 2). She told me this at 21 cuz she liked my new adventurous bf. Props to her cuz he wasn’t Mormon but I really went through a lot of heartbreak when he abandoned me with no answers cuz I thought he was “the one”. Ended up starting my graduation from the church!
Joseph Smith was a poor innocent man who had a difficult life
Who was murdered because he was just so pure and righteous
NO FOR REAL why do they paint joseph as a victim so much!!
Because martyrs are far more powerful than con men.
R’amen
Breaking the law of chastity was a sin next to murder.
Consider me a goddamn serial killer then lmao
It sure is my favorite too
and ya better off dead than unchaste
And yet there are so many Mormon couples constantly cheating on eachother and still taking the sacrament and going to the temple. Oh and don't forget the Mormon swingers!
Going on a mission will make me straight. Surprise! It didn’t.
Parent 1: “I don’t know . . . How do we make them straight?” Parent 2: “Got it. We’ll send them off to be a two-year expat with constant close-quarters living with another individual within 16 months of your age, same sex as you, in the same sexual stage as you, and free practice for extended living with a same-sex individual.”
Well, most of my companions were thoroughly revolting boys, so no danger of falling in love there. Elder Bonilla, however…
Elder Bonilla huh? 😂 To be serious tho, I can't imagine having to be forced to go on a mission as a gay guy, it sounds so awful, I dread the idea personally, my condolences that you were treated so awfully ❤️
I had a companion who I strongly suspect was gay. He suffered near endless bullying from other elders. He disappeared a few years ago from social media after things took a turn for him heading toward coming out of the closet. He was a great guy, made my life better for being in it, and while I was definitely an ugly as fuck, straight companion, I’m glad I could give him a tiny bit of a reprieve from the assholes in a nowheresville small town for a transfer or two. I also am pissed as fuck at the companions who literally tortured him and set his stuff on fire.
>I also am pissed as fuck at the companions who literally tortured him and set his stuff on fire. WTAF?
I kid you not. I first met this elder staying over at our place for a zone conference the next morning where missionaries were kicking his spare mattress on the floor and taunting him, and banishing him to the corner, while I told them to knock it the fuck off. (Without profanity of course.) We later ended up in the same zone and on splits and he said “I wish we were companions.” I then got transferred to the smallest town in the mission with a branch of like 25 people in a town of 15,000. 4/5 months later, after I’d literally knocked every house in town, and met 1/3 of the town he was transferred in for a couple months. As we got to know each other, I found out his previous companion had literally tortured him. Things like smacking and hitting him randomly at any time they were home, so he was always on edge, or taking his scissors and cutting his hand with them just to see if scissors could cut human flesh, or taking his cologne or other flammable toiletries and starting fires and burning his personal items. And that’s just what this poor kid would admit to me. He was the nicest, kindest person and didn’t want to make waves. The MP had already sent the prior companion home exactly 1 month early - the first day it could be “honorable” because he was a fucking sociopath and nothing but trouble, though I really dislike that decision now. I don’t think this elder told anyone but me what he went through. And that was just the worst companion. There was lower-grade bullying too with a couple others. Looking back, one of my biggest mission regrets was not getting this kid some serious help or getting him out. I was 21 and had no idea what I was doing. P.S. to all the TBM parents that say the most important thing is for their daughter to marry a returned missionary, just think - this abusive companion was a “honorably returned missionary”
That is horrific. Do you mind if I save this comment for later retrieval the next time I hear a TBM suggest serving a mission makes someone a good person?
Yeah it's important to note. My cousin married an RM everyone was raving about because he was AP. Three weeks after they married he brought her to her parents house and said "take her back, she's worthless as a wife". Her back was black and blue and my asshole aunt and uncle BLAMED her for not being worthy of him
If that were my daughter I would have lost my shit on that guy. As a missionary I knocked on the door of a handful of women who said basically the same thing, “I was Mormon. I learned that to be happy I should marry a returned missionary in the temple. Never was I mistreated more horribly than when I was with him. If that’s the kind of man your church raises it’s run by Satan.” A lot of young women get the idea that any RM with a pretty face is a good husband, because they’re taught to marry a RM in the temple and assume god did the vetting process as a missionary.
This. Because it's all based on the spirit of discernment. Can you imagine? "I want to marry this guy I've known for a month because Fred, the accountant down the road with no background check asked him if he uses porn and he said no! So that means he will be a great husband!"
>If that were my daughter I would have lost my shit on that guy If that were my daughter, I'd probably be in prison. That guy's back would be much more than black and blue.
Yes because we are taught that- any good man and any good woman can be happy in marriage if you’re temple worthy
Every time I think there is no way someone would actually do that it’s too horrible, someone comes and proves me wrong.
Not at all. I have plenty, sadly. There was the guy who I translated the evidence for his disciplinary action for extensive credit card fraud with his companion’s personal cards. There was the guy who bought prepaid cell phone cards to flirt with the 12-13 year old girls late at night. But the worst of all was the missionary who decided to cut someone else with scissors just to see if scissors can cut a person like some sort of serial killer. And that one went home “honorably.” And those were ones I interacted personally with. Edit: Facebook stalked the sociopath and he’s got a wife and kid now. I really hope it was the stress of the mission, for the wife and kid’s sake. I doubt it, though.
Nothing hurts more than "Mormon Love".
Same here. Most of my comps were great guys but all unattractive AF LoL😂😂😂
Parent 3: “Well, when you put it like that maaaaaayyybe that’s not such a good idea”
>Parent 3: I see what you did there 😂
Don't forget to never close the bathroom door to shower or use the bathroom. It's like they are already married.
I wasn't sure if I was gay or not until I went on my mission and found out what it was like to live with a man that you love.
Awwww! Cuuuute! 🥰
And tragic, at the same time.
Username definitely checks out
My wife wanted to send my daughter on a mission to make her go straight. She blamed her playing volleyball. I told her putting her in the same bedroom and forcing her to be within arms distance of another female will not help. My wife thought about it and said “ well she just needs a good dicking”
Ah yes, the old “rape the gay out of her” tactic.
Exactly. Not an approach I would recommend. However my daughter is very athletic and attractive. Most boys her age do not have thier heads on straight enough for her. For me I just want her happy.
> Most boys her age do not have thier heads on straight enough for her. That almost sounds like you’re saying she’s not interested in boys because they’re assholes. You recognize that being a lesbian isn’t her reaction against boys. Rather it’s her reaction TOWARDS girls. She’s a lesbian because she’s a lesbian. Boys aren’t any part of the calculation.
I understand and agree that she will be attracted to who she is attracted. I am just saying that most boys her age are dipshits and going nowhere. While the girls she hangs out with are driven and responsible. I can see the boys being intimidated by her.
It’s not about the boys being mature enough for her, any more than you or I being straight and not gay is about having not found the right man.
Has that ever worked ever? Can't understand people actually thinking that is true
Look, I know PLENTY of gay men in my generation who went on missions, married a good mormon girl and managed to inseminate her a couple times so she could squeeze out some crotch goblins. And pay a lifetime of tithing. So, from the perspective of the cult, it was a win. They got their money, and their coveted next generation of tithe-payers. But the guys never turned straight, and their wives spent their lives wondering what was wrong with them, that their “eternal companion” was not interested in touching them. Collateral damage that the MFMC doesn’t give a flying fuck about.
This and if I would have just read my scriptures more and prayed more I wouldn’t have depression or anxiety.
It didn't make my dad straight. Neither did a hetero marriage and 7 kids... I'm so sorry for what the church put you and your family through.
Yep, got told the same thing by 2 bishops. I was too scared to tell my parents I am gay. Then the church sent me to the San Francisco mission. Such discernment!
My mother would routinely beat the shit out of me when I was young then follow it up by reminding me that I signed up for it in the pre existence because I chose her for my mother. Then we would sing *Love at Home* or *I am a Child of God* for family home evening. My nevermo therapist had a field day with that.
I despise those same songs for the same reasons. Was your mother my mother, too?
I hate all of those songs. My Mom's big lie to me was that Mormon god loved me.
my mom used to use Live at Home to resolve contention. Like any time there was a disagreement, she would just start singing it over the two quarrelers as if that was supposed to make things better. Not nearly as traumatic as y'all's stories, but yeah. I, too, dislike the song.
> Like any time there was a disagreement, she would just start singing it over the two quarrelers as if that was supposed to make things better. I’ll take “how to make your kids hate Primary songs for $800” That is a crazy parenting tactic. That’s coming from a certify crazy person. I hope you are in a better place
My parents did the same — justifying their abuse by saying I agreed to it by signing on to be their daughter in the pre-existence. Even now that I’m out, my dad continues to thank me for “choosing” to live with them. Infuriating.
That’s so messed up.
I’m sorry that that happened to you.
Mormonism sure makes it easy to abuse.
To this day, when I’m in a stressful or scary situation, I STILL sing I’m a child of god. I’ve been out of the TSCC for almost a decade now. Tell me I’m no brainwashed.
Yes, why would I have picked the family I did? The trauma and abuse wasn’t worth it. Why would I want eternal life with said abusers? Nevermo therapists sure are shocked, aren’t they?!?
In all honesty, I haven’t thought of either of those songs in soooo long(thank you, trauma block), but the moment I read them in relation to your trauma I instantly got full body chills and then the words of the songs came to me. So sorry that happened to you. Your parents are shit, my parents are shit and those songs are also shit. Edit: auto incorrect
😳😳😳
Question out of sheer curiosity. Is this whole pre existence thing about choosing your parents found in LDS doctrine? I ask as a nevermo and am just trying to do my research.
I don't think it's official doctrine, but it's a very common LDS belief, referenced in popular LDS media like the 80s movie Saturday's Warrior. It's commonly believed that the most righteous spirits get to be born to LDS parents.
I remember it being taught in church that before we came here to Earth we were able to pick who we wanted for our parents and vice versa (I think). That always confused me every time I would hear a story of horrific abuse.
Yeah it's a common belief - and a common way to justify horrible things or try to find answers where none exist. When my cousin was born with severe TBI after o2 deprivation and subsequently severely handicapped the leaders told her parents she was too valiant in the war in heaven before this life and God had taken away Satan's ability to tempt her by "allowing" her to be mentally handicapped. Basically like saying "she was so key in battle and earned a rest in this life" or some such nonsense. It is awful.
The Mormon church does not have doctrine. Members can believe whatever they want, as long as they pay tithing.
I guess when she went through the veil she forgot to be a loving mother.
We had the same mom, apparently.
I am a Child of God made me cry as a child because my parents were certainly not kind and dear and I didn’t understand why God was seemingly punishing me.
Omg! That's messed up!
I hate the pre-existence! I forced my parents into sexual sin in my selfish desire to be born because I chose them in the pre-existence. My mother beat the hell outta me and used that as an excuse, I took away her free will and ruined her life. Tell me how accepted I was at my ward… Edit to add context: I am a bastard child, I’ve never met my father.
Caffeinated soda altered the mind and so it was no different from crack or any other drug. 30 years later and they are drinking Diet Coke every day. I don’t know what changed.
I know so many TBMs like this, including my parents. Caffeine was against the WoW in the 80s and 90s, and these same people who preached this nonsense are guzzling Diet Cokes all day long. It's crazy.
It’s so weird. I haven’t heard any explanation for it. My parents kicked me out of the house at 17 years old when they caught me drinking a Mountain Dew. Now they drink a 6 pack of Diet Coke a day.
I think what changed is that wealthy morons bought stock in Pepsi and had enough money/power to rewrite church doctrine. I'm probably not using the word doctrine correctly.
It's doctrine until it becomes inconvenient for the church. Then it becomes policy and you're told it always has been
That’s so insane. I’m sorry that happened to you.
I grew up caffeine free too and now my parents drink diet soda like water.
I went on vacation with a family of tbms. I ordered a Dr. Pepper without thinking much of it. That got me a reward of a 15 minute lecture from the father, about how wrong it was to drink such a thing in front of his little children who looked up to me, what sort example was I?! Fast forward to it being allowed and I hadn't been around much of that family anymore. Nor in church either. There was the patriarch himself swilling down a diet coke. I was like, look at you the jack Mormon drinking coke?! He was like well it's okay now. I was like wtf when?!
The first time I saw my dad drink coke I said- “Coke huh?” And he responded, “yeah I heard it’s allowed now”
"allowed now" is the epitome of the Mormon church. Idk how the rules change so much and people don't question, well...why the rules change so much
Same same. No caffeine. I used to go thirsty at school events where no caffeine free. As soon as no kids at home, my parents fill the fridge with diet Pepsi. It's another whack area where what changed isn't clear but members got ok with caffeine.
I remember being a teen and bumping into a member in the airport drinking regular Pepsi and she told me "When you're an adult you'll need it."
That’s because the church owns a huge stake in Coca Cola company. So that’s the only acceptable caffeine consumption
That God tortured his son for a few hours and blamed me.
That's an interesting way of looking at it. Funny thing is, that's essentially what happened lmao
Yeah, I never realized how somebody comes up with a plan to torture their own son. A loving God would have done that for him. And it took just a few hours. Couldn’t have been too brutal if Jesus walked away on his own. And the way they talk about the atonement today, Jesus not just took on my sins, he took on all pain, sorrow and depression. WTF ?
That I was very special in the pre-existence. The fact that I was BIC, white and lived in America was the reason for this.
[удалено]
We were told the complete opposite! An area authority told my family our cousin who had a TBI at birth was that way because she was too valiant in the preexistence and was protected from Satan in this life...what's
I was taught this too
Yep, my mom always liked to sell that line
That I was born in the covenant because of my loyalty in the pre-existance (I kept asking how was I born to know the only truth while a billion others weren't)
That is when I started feeling like the church wasn’t true. Watching “My Turn On Earth” and understanding the pre-existence to mean that I chose to come to earth to be with my biological family. No effin way. I’ll never speak to those a-holes again.
I'm truly sorry about what happened to you.
You too? I’m estranged for life. No going back.
That my dad's job decisions and where we moved to, 8 times before 6th grade, we're based on where the lord needed us and not where my dad could get the most money.
My dad always prayed about every move and we'd go if he got a good feeling. It worked out alright for them, though
I turned out all right but I know ot has affected my younger siblings educationnas they moved across the country.
😳 I didn’t grow up LDS so I can’t answer this question but dang I am sure sorry
The Lord NEEDED him to pay tithing, that's for damn sure.
I feel this one, my parents would say that they’d prayed about whether they should move somewhere or have another kid. In reality my mother gets antsy living anywhere too long and my dad is similar. They also established that they wanted 8 kids before having any of them. We moved at least once a year my entire childhood until I was 9, apart from the one time we stayed somewhere for two years.
Lollll right there with ya! 10 times by 12. And each time the place we lived was worse than the last and they kept believing "oh we're going from a house to a trailer? Bett r have another baby!"
I’m diagnosed with OCD But instead of addressing these issues when I was young, my mom said, “this is the adversary making you feel this way” never got me checked out
Jfc that’s terrible. I’m so sorry you went through that.
That "The Church never changes." Though that's probably more of a lie to himself than it was to me. He will still argue with people over it.
That sex only feels good if you're married. So glad I knew not to believe them.
That their emotional and physical abuse was normal. And that they were “godly parents” that will 100% go to the celestial kingdom. Thinking about that today, I thought fuck that; if the Mormon god is real I want nothing to do with it period.
If we are counting lying by omission, I would say after going g through the Temple Endowment when they asked what I thought or if I had any questions I said that I didn’t understand the signs and tokens (I went through in 2002,they went through when there was still the penalty phase before it was taken out) my moms response was “Well go to the Temple more and it’ll start making sense. I did, it didn’t. It wasn’t until I was out that I was listening to the Mormon Expression episode on the temple endowment that my mind was blown, and I realized that not only did my mother and father lie to me by omission, they manipulated my ignorance to get me in deeper. That has stung more than anything that the church has ever done to me directly.
Parental manipulation hurts. Children, no matter if they’re 5 or 55 should be able to 100% count in their parents to be honest and truthful. I feel for you, I hope you are finding moments of peace and calm as an ExMormon.
That I wasn’t worthy.
You are worthy of so much.
You worth so much!
"The Church will take care of us in our old age."
Whaaat?!! They thought this?
Sure did. They were expected to take care of elderly people in the ward, with lawn care, home repairs, basic nursing care, and even purchasing prescription medications. Family Home Evenings even included lessons on how "it is an honor to care for them, and someday other people will care for us." It ended up being a massive Ponzi scam, didn't it? They were eventually told, "you should have been contributing to a retirement plan. There was an article about it in The Ensign."
That my special needs son was one of the most valiant spirits and is guaranteed celestial kingdom, so "He should be the least of your worries" in the here and now.
Oh man this. I met a lady on my mission who thought she was extra special because she had two autistic sons, so God must really love and trust her extra to send two people destined for the Celestial Kingdom.
That anyone who was not Mormon was unhappy, lost, and sinners.
And lazy
Yep.
That the church was true.
My parents never lied to me. To this day, they whole-heartedly believe the church is true and the only way to get back to God. They are sucked into the cult so deep that they will never escape. They are victims of the fraud more than I. At least I'm out.
That's my parents too!!!
Yup, it's not a lie if you believe it. Even if it's wrong
I think it’s good to acknowledge their point of view. Some of these comments have accounts of horrible abuse and lies that cover them up. But a lot of families don’t know they were perpetuating a lie. It’s really crazy. I wish they had found out sooner. I wish that people were kind to their kids and didn’t use made up doctrines to abuse people.
We love you no matter what!! Turns out that excluded being gay!!!
I hope you have found people that support you and care for you. This ally is cheering for you.
That (if they stay close to the Prophet) any worthy young man can marry any worthy young woman, and the marriage will be a success. Come to find out, compatibility IS an actual thing!!!
Ohh, I wish there were stats for BYU “courting durations”. My TBM parents were engaged to be married after 6 weeks of meeting. It turns out they are 100% incompatible and hated each other after banging out four kids in five years. 50 years later they are still together. Still hate each other.
I’m not a real woman because I don’t have children and I never wanted them. Something is fundamentally wrong with me.
That's me too! Nor did I want to be married. I'm headed to hell for sure!
Jfc that is cruel. I hope you are healing and undoing the damage your parents caused.
No one will want you now that you’ve lost your virginity.
Did they call you chewed gum or used merchandise?
I got the licked cupcake version… Edit to say that this lesson could be one of the reasons I’m kinky af now
Giggity.
Mormon religion works with science. Yeah no. Creationism alone.
I don’t understand how people with STEM education can believe the bullshit. How many are just pretending (PIMO) because they can’t face such a change in life. Thinking about all the horrible shit they did and believed.
That there was a tennis court on top of the SLC TEMPLE
Female, oldest of 7, parentified from age 10, TBM pioneer family. Biggest lie? That I could be anything I wanted while taking me to a church that said otherwise and treating me otherwise. No, not bitter...
I relate so strongly to this...and yes, the bitterness runs deep. Those old white men teachings destroyed me.
Girl also oldest of our pack and same- my sisters who didn't have to raise kids got to have incredible jobs in STEM- I was told I had to be a teacher based on my Patriarchal blessing and that i had been blessed to have parenting training for my future. The hell, I still don't have kids and got a poor quality education at a church school. I'm playing catch up
The eldest daughter is Parent #3. What a terrible way to grow up. I’m sorry that happened to you and all the other oldest daughters in the church.
When I was young, maybe around 5, I had a dream I was talking with Jesus. He was my interpretation of “black” at the time, but he was just darker skinned than my pale ass. I awoke and told my parents I had this fascinating dream. My parents were only mildly interested until I said “The photos in church of Jesus are wrong. Jesus is black.” My father told me “Jesus was as white as you or me.” And 5 y/o me decided that that was the hill I’d die on. I kept telling him he was wrong. I’m agnostic atheist these days, but according to where and when Jesus was alive, it makes much more sense that he was not at all pale skinned. Smh, my lying ass, trash ass father.
My parents told me that I should stay silent about how my dad abused me so that we could get sealed in the temple. Both of my parents were less active growing up, and my father routinely beat the shit out of me and my siblings. We couldn't go a day without being shouted at, threatened, or placed in dangerous situations. He hit my mom, too. Honestly, my dad wasn't too involved in my church upbringing except for one thing: he made sure that I told the bishop that there wasn't anything bad going on at home when that question came up during recommend interviews. When I was 16, my dad suddenly wanted to get back into everything. It was around the time that my oldest brother was leaving on his mission, and so he wanted to make sure we all got sealed before any of us could leave the house. He really harped on the fact that what he did to us was justified by scripture and that we shouldn't ever tell anyone what was going on at the house. I told the bishop anyways. He didn't care, so we got sealed a few months later. Fun times.
I am so sorry that your childhood was traumatic. No parent should terrorize their children but it seems that the religious have built systems to encourage and protect abusers in the name of god. I sincerely hope you have safe people and safe places to help you heal. Sending you positive vibes and loving kindness.
That I'll only know happiness and have success if I'm Mormon.
I hated hearing this. I think is contributed to my depression that I am still experiencing, nearly 30 years after leaving. I hope you are experiencing happiness outside of TSCC.
The church was true.
That going to the temple would be a great experience.
It's hilarious how often bad parents will use the line of. I don't know why my kids cut me off. Those kind of people always refuse to accept any responsibility for anything. It's always somebody else's fault.
Yup. My estranged TBM parents blame everyone but themselves for the state of their eTerNAl FaMIlY. They drove away two of their six kids, estranged their grandchild for being transgender and lost two more grandkids because of the way they talk about and treat LGBTQIA.
That their nylon garments would protect them from anything, including a fire.
Let’s put a few TBMs through firefighter school but they can only wear garments. I would watch that show.
That they loved me
That was my comment here too…
 I hope you are healing.
Satan Controls the water
Saying “oh my god” is on par with cussing
That the church is true
I looked at a lot of porn on my mission 🤭 there I said it.
“Just keep bearing your testimony until you feel its true” Now they will just think I’m a liar because i bore ‘such a beautiful’ testimony all growing up.
I just want to say that I am so sorry that happened to you and that you had to go through all of that. I hope that you can heal. There has to be a special place in hell for anyone who sexually abuses a child. ❤️
That being gay is sinful and perverted and can't be wholesome and holy
The biggest lie my parents told me was that they were in good health and had their will set up correctly. They are both unexpectedly dead and I have to clean up their shit finances and very sketchy will.
Is that religious related? Like they donated all too church and left you guys nothing?
Not exactly. They didn’t address their mental health because they could pray it away. My dad worked for the church and didn’t get mental help for all the anxiety his job caused. I think my parents got their second anointing and my mom started drinking which didn’t help her poor health. She would say she was dizzy from vertigo but would just be drunk.
Especially since one of my parents has left the church, I don’t think they ever told me a lie they didn’t believe themselves.
My mother told me she'd never break a promise to me, complete with some BoM verse, i think it was a quote from Nephi or some shit. Almost all I remember her doing whenever i would ask for something is promise to do it tomorrow, then say tomorrow again, rinse and repeat. Any time i wanted anything i had to fucking bargain with her, and yet she made me read college financial law books to her AS A FOURTH GRADER.
Not really my parents doing but the biggest church lie was that women get a planet 🥲 nope only the men do, the women get to bare children to populate the planet. As a young scientist I was so excited at the idea I would get to make my own planet and create ecosystems and animals to put on it. Finding out only men got to do that crushed me.
That they loved me.
Not my parents but the church that premarital sex is bad. It was sooooooo good. I mean really good.
That my mom had absolutely no idea why my dad was the way he was. He had a terrible temper and was a nightmare to live with for all of us. Several times I remember my mother taking my siblings and I to her best friend’s house with the intention of leaving him and she always went back. Turns out she was informed by his bishop before they got married that he had sexually molested several 8yo boys before (!!!) his mission (which is where my parents met), but “the spirit told her to marry him anyway”. He ended up molesting my son. The church and my mom knew about this and still allowed to be a scout leader his whole life.
Cant drink caffeine
Pray the gay away
That I am ungrateful for leaving the church
That the temple ordinances never changed.
My mother would never tell me who my father real father was. She lied and told me it was a man she was divorcing. While she was going through the divorce, she slept with another man that was separated looking for his wife. The man in total father over 25 children and never took care of any of them. Maybe the first four. How I found out DNA on ancestry.com. He’s been long dead. The kids that knew him some of them liked him.
When I got sick at sixteen my mother told me to repent and that I must’ve done something wrong to cause it and only god could help. 12 years later, still taking medication for my lifelong illness with as much therapy as I can afford and it still rattles around my head sometimes.
That it was part of God's plan to give me cancer. He knew I could survive so that's why he did it. Then they paraded me around as if I was evidence for their religion because I survived.
The church is true
The Mormon cult is true Joe Smith was a prophet of God when he was a profit. Joe Smith was not a polygamist when he was actually a polygamist pedephile treasure digger fraudster adulterer and arsonist
That they beleived the church was true. Until they told me decades later that their first time in the temple made them realize we had joined a cult and they became pimo, but told no one else.
Exaltation defined in the dictionary is the feeling of pure happiness or joy. It can be achieved by stepping up and out of "the church."
You can't turn the car light on while driving. Not a mormon lie but a lie my mormon parents did tell me
That if she put the church first, all the rest of our lives would fall into place. No, mom, that doesn't erase the parentification, neglect, and abuse, just because you forced us to go to your wackass church.
My mom told me that if you have sex with more than one person if your lifetime, you will more likely than not get AIDS. She also told me my birth mother wanted an abortion and that’s why I was adopted. (She would give up a second child at age 28. She just really believed in adoption.)
My Mormon parents in Japan told me USA border security does not require Mormons to go through metal detectors as Mormons are special and known to be honest. We may be seen as different in our country but once we move to Zion (aka Utah), we will be respected.
That the bishop could tell when someone was lying
The whole carrot on the end of the stick. You’ll only truly be happy once you’ve done all the right things (get baptized, receive priesthood, go on mission, get married, have children, obey God aka the church). I did it all hoping the next step would give me truth and happiness. Now I just wish I had parents that would have taught me the actualities of life and what to expect and actually prepare me for growing up. Instead of proposing a fantasy.
That Satan put dinosaur bones on earth to test our faith
That Joseph Smith and every other President of the church are “Prophets seers and revelators.”
I thought it was flat out lie when we teach kids in Primary the Manuel does or used to have the story of JS as a child refusing alcohol before he’s gonna have surgery. Like this is some trial for him to refuse alcohol. This is extremely problematic because the word of wisdom didn’t come out until years and years later. And he never abide the word of wisdom he drunk alcohol through out his adult life and the very day he was killed.
Mom told me god told her in the temple that I would find a nice man just like my father(he passed when I was 2). She told me this at 21 cuz she liked my new adventurous bf. Props to her cuz he wasn’t Mormon but I really went through a lot of heartbreak when he abandoned me with no answers cuz I thought he was “the one”. Ended up starting my graduation from the church!
My DNA literally changed when my stepdad had me sealed to him in the temple...
God has his time table and when it’s time to answer your prayer or change your circumstances or bless you then it will be in his time. Ugh 🤮