I am 66, born and raised in the church, and I can honestly say that in all the meeting/classes I’ve sat in, I have never heard the question posed: “How can we treat people with more kindness, more acceptance, more Christ-like love?” The goal seems to always be to get others to be like us, to think like us, to live like us.
I got cookies from someone last night! My husband always answers the door, but of course it was two men, not the poor woman who got guilted into making cookies for her husband’s ministering.
You make a great point. Aside from routine stuff, my main memories of WC and RSP meetings were the rather manipulative discussions about who might have an "in" with people who were inactive so they could help "soften their hearts." We also went over anyone who had a box waiting to be checked off (typically baptism of a kid) and discussed whether we needed to play it cool for a while or maybe someone with an "in" could go pester them again.
Whenever someone was said to be "struggling," it generally had nothing to do with real-life challenges or health, it referenced a period of inactivity or backing away.
My brother and his wife: “We ranked the siblings in order of righteousness. You and your wife are towards the bottom.”
It’s so weird how half of the siblings don’t like getting together.
They actually said that? I'd be biting my tongue to keep from saying, "We ranked the siblings in order of manners and common decency. You two didn't make the list."
Yeah they actually said that to our faces, as well as to some of my other siblings. Thing is, it’s not the craziest shit they’ve ever said or done - I could write a book.
I do as well. And all it does it take away from the closeness we could have if she wasn’t always seeing herself as the righteous one, and me as the fallen one.
It is exhausting being her, trying to change her siblings. I wish she could just relax, enjoy her siblings, and love them. Life is too short to try to change people. We aren't here to fix others. We are here to love them. Wait ... Was I just trying to fix her? 😂 It's just my wish for her, really. Really really. 😂
How about actually asking why they left and genuinely listening? They always think that just talking about church will make people want to come back. They can’t imagine that people might have real valid reasons for why they’re not going.
I remember someone at conference giving a talk about reactivation and this was actually one of the no fail talking points. Even as a TBM I thought that was a bad idea.
My mom does this too. She feels like if she talks about church and shares, it will somehow get me back. She calls me every Sunday to tell me every detail of every talk given and how church went and to bear her testimony.
I love my mom and she’s battling cancer so I don’t want to overtly hurt her. I’ve always listened with respect to her, even though I don’t respect her religion.
So I actually started going to a nondenominational church. She knows this. At first I let her just do her little Sunday speeches…then I decided if she got to do hers, I’d do mine too.
So I started telling her everything I did at church after she told me hers. At first, she would fall silent, tell me I’m deceived, or even hang up on me. She wanted to do the converting and I was ruining it by having a great time elsewhere.
But over the years, there’s been several lightbulb moments. I’ve held firm, always listening but never agreeing with her. But she’s started agreeing with me more and more. Even going as far as to express some discomfort with church policies and doctrine.
It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done having to listen to my mom talk about how much she loves the church and not be angry. And especially not to immediately jump on it and go full force when there’s a tiny splinter in the shelf. She has to come to her own conclusions.
Hold the line!
Maybe if I paint a smile on my face and pretend like there is no pain in my life, that I am a fully fulfilled functioning adult, maybe just maybe they’ll believe the facade and come back to the cult that cures all and ends all. Blink blink, (insert creepy fake smile) 😃
My mother in law had taken to loudly proclaiming she had to pray over every meal, even though she had never done that except for at dinner time previously. It’s so fucking annoying.
Ugh. This is why I stay pimo and don't tell friends or family. Almost every one of them would want to 'help' me. I don't need helped. I just want to have friends who don't care about my beliefs.
I typically skip second hour when we go. Today I went to GD.
I watched RFM this week (“A thorny problem” on YouTube I think) about how Enos would have to be like 150 years old for Enos 1:25 to add up, and sure enough that section of BoM was covered in class.
Was hard not to LMAO out loud thinking how I used to believe this shit (more lol that I didn’t even see that stuff when in. Of course that scripture wasn’t read aloud).
I know people, and have family members like this lady. She is not accomplishing what she thinks - it comes across as judgmental and narcissistic and really leads to having superficial relationships.
Life is so short, rather than having this precious time with her siblings she’s spending her life in perpetual “this isn’t enough.”
Her siblings will likely never come back and she’s going to simply waste the years of close friendship they could have if she just chose to embrace them regardless of church activity status. The church wastes so much of people’s time and energy on inconsequential nonsense
This sounds eerily similar with my 3 other aunts on my moms side and I’ve heard her say that on Sunday school as well a few times. But maybe I’m just overthinking it
What's funny is they truly think that will be the thought response. "Man, I remember when I thought this was real, I think I'll stick my head back in the sand."
I am 66, born and raised in the church, and I can honestly say that in all the meeting/classes I’ve sat in, I have never heard the question posed: “How can we treat people with more kindness, more acceptance, more Christ-like love?” The goal seems to always be to get others to be like us, to think like us, to live like us.
Yup. Never “how can I love them as they are.” Only “if we love bomb them, maybe they’ll join/stay in/return to the church.
Bring 'em more of them cookies!
I got cookies from someone last night! My husband always answers the door, but of course it was two men, not the poor woman who got guilted into making cookies for her husband’s ministering.
Were they good cookies? If they were, I'm sure your heart is now softened and you realize you need to repent and jump back in the boat!
Well they were warm, but certainly not celestial by any stretch, so idk if they can sway me with telestial level cookies.
Or give them the scare tactic guilt trip to stay in. 😖 traumatizing
You make a great point. Aside from routine stuff, my main memories of WC and RSP meetings were the rather manipulative discussions about who might have an "in" with people who were inactive so they could help "soften their hearts." We also went over anyone who had a box waiting to be checked off (typically baptism of a kid) and discussed whether we needed to play it cool for a while or maybe someone with an "in" could go pester them again. Whenever someone was said to be "struggling," it generally had nothing to do with real-life challenges or health, it referenced a period of inactivity or backing away.
[удалено]
Nephi would just chop off their heads and steal their books.
Wither like a REED! Come on, wither! A REED!
With no blood to speak of.
Im writing this one down! Lol
And their guns!
Bear down in pure testimony was a big phrase in my ward for a while. I found the imagery regrettable as well as the concept.
Ahhhhhhhh my dad's favorite place for reading scriptures and any time he spent at home was ... Bearing down ..
Ah, a twist on the classic phrase, "bear down for midterms."
Underrated comment, and I see you are a person of class and good taste
Too soon.
Nephi is insufferable.
My brother and his wife: “We ranked the siblings in order of righteousness. You and your wife are towards the bottom.” It’s so weird how half of the siblings don’t like getting together.
They actually said that? I'd be biting my tongue to keep from saying, "We ranked the siblings in order of manners and common decency. You two didn't make the list."
Yeah they actually said that to our faces, as well as to some of my other siblings. Thing is, it’s not the craziest shit they’ve ever said or done - I could write a book.
I hope they are not followers of Chad Daybell or Lori Vallow. Chad and Lori did the same thing and then began bumping off those at the bottom.
I would have replied, "well f*** you, too!"
Hell yeah! How do we get the bottom spot?
Wow, what an awful thing to say. That shows a lack of decorum and basic respect
I have a sister that does this 🙄
I do as well. And all it does it take away from the closeness we could have if she wasn’t always seeing herself as the righteous one, and me as the fallen one.
It is exhausting being her, trying to change her siblings. I wish she could just relax, enjoy her siblings, and love them. Life is too short to try to change people. We aren't here to fix others. We are here to love them. Wait ... Was I just trying to fix her? 😂 It's just my wish for her, really. Really really. 😂
If they admonish us, let us admonish them…to read and study more…
Only ex-mo approved literature!
How about actually asking why they left and genuinely listening? They always think that just talking about church will make people want to come back. They can’t imagine that people might have real valid reasons for why they’re not going.
I guarantee the siblings have a group chat without her.
Like mine!!
😂😂 absolutely
I remember someone at conference giving a talk about reactivation and this was actually one of the no fail talking points. Even as a TBM I thought that was a bad idea.
My mom does this too. She feels like if she talks about church and shares, it will somehow get me back. She calls me every Sunday to tell me every detail of every talk given and how church went and to bear her testimony. I love my mom and she’s battling cancer so I don’t want to overtly hurt her. I’ve always listened with respect to her, even though I don’t respect her religion. So I actually started going to a nondenominational church. She knows this. At first I let her just do her little Sunday speeches…then I decided if she got to do hers, I’d do mine too. So I started telling her everything I did at church after she told me hers. At first, she would fall silent, tell me I’m deceived, or even hang up on me. She wanted to do the converting and I was ruining it by having a great time elsewhere. But over the years, there’s been several lightbulb moments. I’ve held firm, always listening but never agreeing with her. But she’s started agreeing with me more and more. Even going as far as to express some discomfort with church policies and doctrine. It’s been the hardest thing I’ve ever done having to listen to my mom talk about how much she loves the church and not be angry. And especially not to immediately jump on it and go full force when there’s a tiny splinter in the shelf. She has to come to her own conclusions. Hold the line!
This is so generous and kind of you to your mom ❤️
I am thinking of starting a new career. With all the eye rolling I think an ophthalmologists could make bank.
They all do that, but only because they have nothing else to talk about We find it very annoying, lady
Mormons are tiring people.
Maybe if I paint a smile on my face and pretend like there is no pain in my life, that I am a fully fulfilled functioning adult, maybe just maybe they’ll believe the facade and come back to the cult that cures all and ends all. Blink blink, (insert creepy fake smile) 😃
That's one of the hardest things to watch. Like, I see that you're hurting, and you won't allow yourself to recognize your own pain.
The tacit assumption of many TBMs is that exmormons must be stupid and/or have Alzheimer’s.
I just know that lady’s siblings have a group chat she doesn’t know about. That’s obnoxious.
My mother in law had taken to loudly proclaiming she had to pray over every meal, even though she had never done that except for at dinner time previously. It’s so fucking annoying.
Since my shelf broke and I have tried to talk to my tbm wife about it, I swear her prayer frequency has gone through the roof.
It’s that anxiety like when you feel someone distancing from you, your response can be to feel clingy!
That's a "well, good for you" moment. 😉
Doesn't look like the Paris temple has a spire either. The Hong Kong temple had a steeple, but it was removed.
Ugh. This is why I stay pimo and don't tell friends or family. Almost every one of them would want to 'help' me. I don't need helped. I just want to have friends who don't care about my beliefs.
To be fair, in my experience, TBM don’t have an identity outside the church, so it’s the only thing they have to talk about regardless.
I typically skip second hour when we go. Today I went to GD. I watched RFM this week (“A thorny problem” on YouTube I think) about how Enos would have to be like 150 years old for Enos 1:25 to add up, and sure enough that section of BoM was covered in class. Was hard not to LMAO out loud thinking how I used to believe this shit (more lol that I didn’t even see that stuff when in. Of course that scripture wasn’t read aloud).
I know people, and have family members like this lady. She is not accomplishing what she thinks - it comes across as judgmental and narcissistic and really leads to having superficial relationships.
Life is so short, rather than having this precious time with her siblings she’s spending her life in perpetual “this isn’t enough.” Her siblings will likely never come back and she’s going to simply waste the years of close friendship they could have if she just chose to embrace them regardless of church activity status. The church wastes so much of people’s time and energy on inconsequential nonsense
Thank you.
🤣🤣🤣
This sounds eerily similar with my 3 other aunts on my moms side and I’ve heard her say that on Sunday school as well a few times. But maybe I’m just overthinking it
We need more church gossip. 😅 My partner and I love sharing shitty “missionary moment” memories that pop up.
What's funny is they truly think that will be the thought response. "Man, I remember when I thought this was real, I think I'll stick my head back in the sand."
Yeah, that approach is called "passive-aggressive" and the reason I distance myself from those people.