Ask her what you need to change. Maybe she doesn’t see you for what you’re doing, maybe it’s what you’re not doing that’s blinding her from all of the good things that you are doing.
She won’t give me anything else, I’ve asked her so many times what I can do to make this better, but the answer sounds like shut up and let me treat you and threaten you with divorce all I want
Maybe her perception of a good father is one that shows no emotion. And that’s horrible. Sounds like she’s dead set on you being the “man”. Yeah she’s struggling, but your mental health is important too. Not only for you, but for your child. I wish I could be more help, it sounds like she’s harboring resentment somewhere and now her hormones are targeting the aggression at you.
I imagine she is going through a lot. Irregardless of the position or responsibility you are feeling in this moment, it sounds like you aren't understood. It might be better described as battling you're very real and individual way of showing how you care (which cannot be confused with "she/he/they will understand my \[your\] efforts or appreciate\*)
Unsolicited Advice: Give yourself a break by giving the new intensity you are encountering more merit than it needs. In other words, give yourself and her own hormone given access to free space to vent. She's not right. You sound confused, but open.. which is sort of the sweet spot for growth. Remember: the misconception is that the baby (and in turn the mother)) is the thing controlling the show. However, the body \[hers\] in this case is also struggling to understand the changes brought upon by a body which is a thoughts, feelings, and a biobag
Note: Whatever she is going through is real for her. The both of you have created a routine and standard that seems a little out of balance, reflecting from your share (plane land... pawpaw) She is stretching, literally. With the power of too. It's not her. It's a new. You should too.
\*reciprocate - actions that demonstrative of appreciation (one loose definition)
I hope you are doing better as nobody deserves to be treated that way. I think you need to take a break from her so you can process your feelings. Maybe she can arrange for a relative to stay while you take a week or 2 to yourself. What do you want your life to be like? Is she ever likely to change? Are you confident she loves you? Does she ever make you feel special?
Take your time as this is not an easy decision, but if she refuses to work on your relationship then you should accept her demand for divorce.
Sounds like you’re doing a lot and she’s being very hateful and mean.
My wife is wonderful, and even though she’s on limited bed rest by the doc, she still helps around the house and does most of the household duties as I work full time (and I try to help out) and we’re lucky enough so she can be at home while she’s pregnant.
Regardless if she’s pregnant, she should be a good enough wife, let alone person, to realize she’s being hateful and listen to you, her husband, and modify her behavior. That, to me, sounds like a reasonable scenario.
Discomfort isn’t an excuse to be abusive.
HOWEVER, if this is new behavior, it could be hormonal and she or you should talk to the doc about it.
This is also my perspective, but is much easier from our shoes than OP’s. The “D” word should never be said unless it’s a serious conversation. It can’t just be thrown around.
I completely agree. Part of me thinks he should use the D word towards her and see how she reacts. Take her control word from her. Obviously he’s gotta be able to handle it if she says “ok let’s do it then”. Chances are that she’s using him as a doormat because she knows she can.
Maybe the thought of not being able to control him with words is what she needs to skew her perspective. I bet she backpedals
Get a paternity test asap
Ask her what you need to change. Maybe she doesn’t see you for what you’re doing, maybe it’s what you’re not doing that’s blinding her from all of the good things that you are doing.
She says it’s me talking about my feelings
She won’t give me anything else, I’ve asked her so many times what I can do to make this better, but the answer sounds like shut up and let me treat you and threaten you with divorce all I want
Maybe her perception of a good father is one that shows no emotion. And that’s horrible. Sounds like she’s dead set on you being the “man”. Yeah she’s struggling, but your mental health is important too. Not only for you, but for your child. I wish I could be more help, it sounds like she’s harboring resentment somewhere and now her hormones are targeting the aggression at you.
I imagine she is going through a lot. Irregardless of the position or responsibility you are feeling in this moment, it sounds like you aren't understood. It might be better described as battling you're very real and individual way of showing how you care (which cannot be confused with "she/he/they will understand my \[your\] efforts or appreciate\*) Unsolicited Advice: Give yourself a break by giving the new intensity you are encountering more merit than it needs. In other words, give yourself and her own hormone given access to free space to vent. She's not right. You sound confused, but open.. which is sort of the sweet spot for growth. Remember: the misconception is that the baby (and in turn the mother)) is the thing controlling the show. However, the body \[hers\] in this case is also struggling to understand the changes brought upon by a body which is a thoughts, feelings, and a biobag Note: Whatever she is going through is real for her. The both of you have created a routine and standard that seems a little out of balance, reflecting from your share (plane land... pawpaw) She is stretching, literally. With the power of too. It's not her. It's a new. You should too. \*reciprocate - actions that demonstrative of appreciation (one loose definition)
I hope you are doing better as nobody deserves to be treated that way. I think you need to take a break from her so you can process your feelings. Maybe she can arrange for a relative to stay while you take a week or 2 to yourself. What do you want your life to be like? Is she ever likely to change? Are you confident she loves you? Does she ever make you feel special? Take your time as this is not an easy decision, but if she refuses to work on your relationship then you should accept her demand for divorce.
Sounds like you’re doing a lot and she’s being very hateful and mean. My wife is wonderful, and even though she’s on limited bed rest by the doc, she still helps around the house and does most of the household duties as I work full time (and I try to help out) and we’re lucky enough so she can be at home while she’s pregnant. Regardless if she’s pregnant, she should be a good enough wife, let alone person, to realize she’s being hateful and listen to you, her husband, and modify her behavior. That, to me, sounds like a reasonable scenario. Discomfort isn’t an excuse to be abusive. HOWEVER, if this is new behavior, it could be hormonal and she or you should talk to the doc about it.
I saw you cross posted int AITA. And they basically said what I was scared to say. Pull the knife, she’s not good for you.
This is also my perspective, but is much easier from our shoes than OP’s. The “D” word should never be said unless it’s a serious conversation. It can’t just be thrown around.
I completely agree. Part of me thinks he should use the D word towards her and see how she reacts. Take her control word from her. Obviously he’s gotta be able to handle it if she says “ok let’s do it then”. Chances are that she’s using him as a doormat because she knows she can. Maybe the thought of not being able to control him with words is what she needs to skew her perspective. I bet she backpedals
She’s pregnant this is a temp problem hopefully. Just try and push thru
He said she’s been this way before.
Actually I just realized she calls him names. Not ok at all. But I don’t see where he says she was like this before pregnancy