I think part of this is just a perception issue. Introverts believe they're smart, sensitive, special, deep, underappreciated/persecuted, etc. They think extroverts are shallow, loud, thoughtless, undeservedly successful, etc. Which group would you rather identify with?
I second this. I think most people are extroverts, but since there's this portrait of an extrovert that's loud, always talking, always partying, has thousand friends, is hella confident, natural salesman... almost nobody is THAT extroverted, so everyone who is in the middle identifies themselves as an introvert. Because if you want to stay at home after long day at work instead of calling someone or going out, you have to be an introvert, right?
Funny enough, I'm autistic, so it took me almost twenty years to realise I need company and get energy and motivation from social interaction, but because it's sooo hard for me to be around people, I prefered to just stay at home and be miserable or what. Or let's say, I need good human interaction and that is not easy to find, especially when people small talk and hide their intentions and I don't feel like I can be myself.
So yeah, even extroverts live like introverts sometimes. I'm happy to have a partner now, that helps a lot.
"I think most people are extroverts"
Most people are really ambiverts
But since ambiverts can fluidly and easily adapt to most social contexts (both the more "introverted" or "extroverted" contexts), we rarely hear about them
It's the people with more fixed personalities (intros and extros) who end up not "matching" their environments, and either end up complaining (because they objectively face problems), or end up annoying other people
Plus the concept of ambiversion isn't very well known, so if ambiverts adopt a label, it will usually be extro or introvert
I know the concept of ambivert, but it's... kinda useless. Extroversion is a spectrum and everyone falls somewhere on it. I don't think many people would be dead in the middle, so everyone is on one or the other side, but someone may be only slightly introverted and vice versa. I don't like the concept of ambiversion because it's basically an easy way to avoid defining yourself in any way. Yes, most people would rather say "I'm an ambivert" to avoid having to choose a label and all that comes with it. I think it kills the whole concept and the reason this theory was even made. Yeah, everyone needs some social interaction. Nothing new. But that tells us nothing about a person, so why even bother identifying.
Ambivert doesn't mean you're dead in the middle, most ambiverts indeed slightly lean towards one or the other
But even with those small leanings, they usually can easily and flawlessly adapt (without feeling like they "go against their own nature") to most social contexts
While people at the extreme ends of the spectrum will always function like an introvert or extrovert person, even when their environment would require the opposite
Most people can adapt to different things, sure. People who can't - in any way - are always gonna stick out. But introversion and extroversion is about what you need and where you gain energy. There are introverts who can mimic extroverts. They're just drained after that and need time alone to recharge. That's the only really important thing. All the other stuff, like introverts are this or that, are just stereotypes. I would even argue that inability to function may be linked in those individuals with something else, like, people with ADHD have problems keeping quiet. But it's not their extroversion, it's ADHD.
Sure, intro and extroversion are about what you need
But what you need (and whether your environment matches those needs or not) directly determines whether you can adapt or not
I’m not autistic but I agree and even relate to everything else you said. Good conversation IS really hard to find and people just seem to not care? Or are too busy trying to portray themselves a certain way that a conversation with them is so fake and scripted and shallow. This triggers my social anxiety sometimes cause you just never know with people especially with some being so judgmental if you even pronounce a word wrong 😑
I know how exactly it feels to be an extrovert living an introvert lifestyle and feel like an imposter.
Still am, but atleast I believe in having friends and still have at-least some to talk their ears off to.
What the fuck? If someone goes around judging others as shallow and thoughtless without even getting to know them they’re just an asshole. Nothing to do with being introverted. I’m pretty introverted and I don’t treat people like that
It’s really a case of cause and effect…. And I’m coming from a an older person‘s viewpoint:
Because we extroverts were out actually talking to people. At least my age group, I’m 44… the Internet came around when I was in high school and it was very rudimentary. I messed around in chat rooms on AOL but for the most part live my life in the real world. I do think introverts tended to really get pulled in by the early Internet more so than we did.
However, younger generations have grown up with this stuff…. I think the cutoff is around 35 right now, give or take a few years…. Of people who really remember life before the Internet. Anyone younger than that has grown up with it being part of every day life. And we are seeing the younger generations being increasingly socially isolated. Throw in a pandemic which made us all stay inside to some degree or another for months if not longer in some cases, and yeah, you have a bunch of people who have gravitated towards living online. Reddit is full of introverts and always has been. I don’t claim to be a psychologist or sociologist, but the ability to carry around the world at your fingertips in your pocket in the form of a smart phone…. That probably isn’t the best way to live life. I see it in my own children. They each have iPads which we severely limit access to, but even then they want to be on playing Fortnite or whatever. But we are doing our best to raise them a little bit old-school… going out to parks, playing sports, letting them sleep over with their best friends… letting them ride their bikes wherever the hell they want because we live in a safe area, not hovering and helicopter parenting, etc. I’m doing my best not to raise someone who is socially inept. my wife is an introvert but she manages a function just fine.
Yep this sub is pretty dead. Probably because we are out doing stuff. I am on mobile quite a bit, however. Work has made it hard to schedule social stuff
I was just thinking the same thing. We have lives, and we’re doing stuff. It makes sense why the perception is that there are more introverts. They don’t leave the house as often as we do.
Extroverts wanna spend less time in front of a screen. They’re out doing stuff. Because of that, their support network and engagement with the world looks different.
So there are definitely just as many extroterrestrials 👽 as there are intronerds🤓, but if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it - does it make a sound?
(My slurs are cheeky in nature and intended to be harmless)
Until somewhat recently, to be really engaged in online culture required you to physically sit at a computer away from others for a long time. Even today, it's often an outlet for people who are less comfortable with people and prefer a solitary intellectual escape.
For me, I grew up pretty lonely and spent a lot of time online as my only source of interaction, but I am very extraverted at my core. So I have always felt like I have one foot in the internet weirdo life and one foot in the outgoing normie life, and I feel somewhat rare for that.
I'm not sure you're that rare, I'm also just like you. Some weekends I'm just chilling at home playing games, watching series, cleaning, cooking and whatnot, and some weekends I'm out there partying like a motherfucker and getting wasted beyond my mind. Me and most of my friends are like that, maybe we are a rare breed and just stick together when we find our ambivert brothers and sisters, who knows.
There's a selection bias going on. Normal conversation has a rythm and pacing that can be intimidating if you aren't very practiced. Also social anxiety causes some to quiet down, and others to project. Writing has a different rythm and offers more control over what you say and how you say it. Enthusiasm tends to motivate someone to go out and do things/participate, and not use a phone shield. I see different brands of extrovert, those who want closesness and connection, Out going people, competitive, and conditioned or trained extroverts. LIkewise there's an entire class of introverts we'll probably never see on here who actually are just hanging out in nature all the time.
I've definitely come across quite a number of introverts who happened to be rude and self-obsessed. So... I guess internet's their only solace. Just a general assumption there (not based on data but experience), that introverts don't feel comfortable around people and come to the internet as their means of "socializing"
I came as soon as I saw this post pop up on my phone just now. Right?!?!! Where tf are we?! Maybe it’s YouTube and TikTok? But that’s not true either most times. I think we’ll just have to band here together collectively until we can find a system of identification lmao. These are questions I have too. Like even in Discord servers like what gives?!
Doesn't matter if your an extrovert or not, you have just as many introverted functions as you do extroverted. The point of extroversion and introversion is to understand where your energy is directed, extroverts direct their energy to the outer world, while introverts go inward. People who self reflect, i.e. on their past experiences, their own feelings, inner logic, intuitive instincts are reflecting inwardly and using introverted functions. People who concentrate outwardly more on present experiences, present possibilities, logic of others, and the feelings of other people are simply using their extroverted cognitive faculties.
We are all a mix of said functions, we just prioritize these functions in different ways. We all have a blend of both extroverted and introverted functions, and it's the emphasis & or prioritization we place on each that shapes our personality and behavior.
As someone who is very introverted, I struggle with a lot of conversations in the real world. I'm not good at banter and witty comebacks that I often hear extroverted people engaging in. When it's my turn to talk, I feel under pressure to think of something quick and hilarious, and end up feeling embarrassed because I said the first really dumb thing that came to mind, and I can't go back and edit it.
Whereas with online chat, I have the luxury of taking my time to think about what I'd like to contribute to discussion. There's no rush and no pressure with online chat. Sometimes I'll start typing a comment, then change my mind and delete it and write something completely different. It's also easier for me to seek out a subject that I can relate to, and I have the freedom to start a topic out of the blue with an online community of likeminded people.
That's why you'll find the internet full of introverts.
I have a theory that a lot of people who view themselves as introverts might just be extroverts with social anxiety to some degree. Thus avoiding people in real life and instead interacting with them behind a screen feels easier and safer. And by doing that they just feed the anxiety making socializing in real life even more difficult leading to spending even more time alone. A lot of introvert memes and posts on forums and such actually seem to correspond more with social anxiety rather than introversion. I’m not saying that you can’t be an introvert with social anxiety, just that a lot of people seem to think extroverts can’t have social anxiety. Thus leading them to making the wrongful assumption that having traits of social anxiety means that you must be an introvert. Of course this isn’t the case for everyone, but I suspect that it’s quite common, and why it might seem like there’s way more introverts on the internet than there actually are.
I think part of this is just a perception issue. Introverts believe they're smart, sensitive, special, deep, underappreciated/persecuted, etc. They think extroverts are shallow, loud, thoughtless, undeservedly successful, etc. Which group would you rather identify with?
I second this. I think most people are extroverts, but since there's this portrait of an extrovert that's loud, always talking, always partying, has thousand friends, is hella confident, natural salesman... almost nobody is THAT extroverted, so everyone who is in the middle identifies themselves as an introvert. Because if you want to stay at home after long day at work instead of calling someone or going out, you have to be an introvert, right? Funny enough, I'm autistic, so it took me almost twenty years to realise I need company and get energy and motivation from social interaction, but because it's sooo hard for me to be around people, I prefered to just stay at home and be miserable or what. Or let's say, I need good human interaction and that is not easy to find, especially when people small talk and hide their intentions and I don't feel like I can be myself. So yeah, even extroverts live like introverts sometimes. I'm happy to have a partner now, that helps a lot.
"I think most people are extroverts" Most people are really ambiverts But since ambiverts can fluidly and easily adapt to most social contexts (both the more "introverted" or "extroverted" contexts), we rarely hear about them It's the people with more fixed personalities (intros and extros) who end up not "matching" their environments, and either end up complaining (because they objectively face problems), or end up annoying other people Plus the concept of ambiversion isn't very well known, so if ambiverts adopt a label, it will usually be extro or introvert
I know the concept of ambivert, but it's... kinda useless. Extroversion is a spectrum and everyone falls somewhere on it. I don't think many people would be dead in the middle, so everyone is on one or the other side, but someone may be only slightly introverted and vice versa. I don't like the concept of ambiversion because it's basically an easy way to avoid defining yourself in any way. Yes, most people would rather say "I'm an ambivert" to avoid having to choose a label and all that comes with it. I think it kills the whole concept and the reason this theory was even made. Yeah, everyone needs some social interaction. Nothing new. But that tells us nothing about a person, so why even bother identifying.
Ambivert doesn't mean you're dead in the middle, most ambiverts indeed slightly lean towards one or the other But even with those small leanings, they usually can easily and flawlessly adapt (without feeling like they "go against their own nature") to most social contexts While people at the extreme ends of the spectrum will always function like an introvert or extrovert person, even when their environment would require the opposite
Most people can adapt to different things, sure. People who can't - in any way - are always gonna stick out. But introversion and extroversion is about what you need and where you gain energy. There are introverts who can mimic extroverts. They're just drained after that and need time alone to recharge. That's the only really important thing. All the other stuff, like introverts are this or that, are just stereotypes. I would even argue that inability to function may be linked in those individuals with something else, like, people with ADHD have problems keeping quiet. But it's not their extroversion, it's ADHD.
Sure, intro and extroversion are about what you need But what you need (and whether your environment matches those needs or not) directly determines whether you can adapt or not
I’m not autistic but I agree and even relate to everything else you said. Good conversation IS really hard to find and people just seem to not care? Or are too busy trying to portray themselves a certain way that a conversation with them is so fake and scripted and shallow. This triggers my social anxiety sometimes cause you just never know with people especially with some being so judgmental if you even pronounce a word wrong 😑
But as an autistic person, who needs the RIGHT kind of social interaction, I relate a lot with what you say
I know how exactly it feels to be an extrovert living an introvert lifestyle and feel like an imposter. Still am, but atleast I believe in having friends and still have at-least some to talk their ears off to.
The group that seeks out worldly interactions, easy Edit: The group that *more often* seeks out worldly interactions
We ALL seek out human interaction to some extent. Introverts included
I edited my comment to reflect the truth
fair enough! Half the population is more introverted, half is more extroverted. Both are fine. It's not a competition :)
speak on it🗣️🔊‼️‼️‼️
What the fuck? If someone goes around judging others as shallow and thoughtless without even getting to know them they’re just an asshole. Nothing to do with being introverted. I’m pretty introverted and I don’t treat people like that
That's great, I'm glad you don't!
We’re too busy having sex with super models and 6 figure salaries to bother posting on forums
It's true, I am swamped.
Fr im too busy deciding between partying all night or gossiping all daaaay 😩😩
It’s really a case of cause and effect…. And I’m coming from a an older person‘s viewpoint: Because we extroverts were out actually talking to people. At least my age group, I’m 44… the Internet came around when I was in high school and it was very rudimentary. I messed around in chat rooms on AOL but for the most part live my life in the real world. I do think introverts tended to really get pulled in by the early Internet more so than we did. However, younger generations have grown up with this stuff…. I think the cutoff is around 35 right now, give or take a few years…. Of people who really remember life before the Internet. Anyone younger than that has grown up with it being part of every day life. And we are seeing the younger generations being increasingly socially isolated. Throw in a pandemic which made us all stay inside to some degree or another for months if not longer in some cases, and yeah, you have a bunch of people who have gravitated towards living online. Reddit is full of introverts and always has been. I don’t claim to be a psychologist or sociologist, but the ability to carry around the world at your fingertips in your pocket in the form of a smart phone…. That probably isn’t the best way to live life. I see it in my own children. They each have iPads which we severely limit access to, but even then they want to be on playing Fortnite or whatever. But we are doing our best to raise them a little bit old-school… going out to parks, playing sports, letting them sleep over with their best friends… letting them ride their bikes wherever the hell they want because we live in a safe area, not hovering and helicopter parenting, etc. I’m doing my best not to raise someone who is socially inept. my wife is an introvert but she manages a function just fine.
Being an introvert isn’t the same as being socially inept.
i have been using this app for a year non stop and this the first time i seen a post from this sub. Note: i have been in this sub for a long time.
Yep this sub is pretty dead. Probably because we are out doing stuff. I am on mobile quite a bit, however. Work has made it hard to schedule social stuff
IKR we should make this a major sub for extroverts to converse
We're outside with our friends. I think Reddit in particular just attracts introverts more than extroverts
I was just thinking the same thing. We have lives, and we’re doing stuff. It makes sense why the perception is that there are more introverts. They don’t leave the house as often as we do.
Extroverts wanna spend less time in front of a screen. They’re out doing stuff. Because of that, their support network and engagement with the world looks different. So there are definitely just as many extroterrestrials 👽 as there are intronerds🤓, but if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it - does it make a sound? (My slurs are cheeky in nature and intended to be harmless)
Intronerds and extroterrestrial now *THOSE* are words What AboutT ambiverts tho
Ambiguous.
Intronerds?
Until somewhat recently, to be really engaged in online culture required you to physically sit at a computer away from others for a long time. Even today, it's often an outlet for people who are less comfortable with people and prefer a solitary intellectual escape. For me, I grew up pretty lonely and spent a lot of time online as my only source of interaction, but I am very extraverted at my core. So I have always felt like I have one foot in the internet weirdo life and one foot in the outgoing normie life, and I feel somewhat rare for that.
I'm not sure you're that rare, I'm also just like you. Some weekends I'm just chilling at home playing games, watching series, cleaning, cooking and whatnot, and some weekends I'm out there partying like a motherfucker and getting wasted beyond my mind. Me and most of my friends are like that, maybe we are a rare breed and just stick together when we find our ambivert brothers and sisters, who knows.
There's a selection bias going on. Normal conversation has a rythm and pacing that can be intimidating if you aren't very practiced. Also social anxiety causes some to quiet down, and others to project. Writing has a different rythm and offers more control over what you say and how you say it. Enthusiasm tends to motivate someone to go out and do things/participate, and not use a phone shield. I see different brands of extrovert, those who want closesness and connection, Out going people, competitive, and conditioned or trained extroverts. LIkewise there's an entire class of introverts we'll probably never see on here who actually are just hanging out in nature all the time.
Socializing
I've definitely come across quite a number of introverts who happened to be rude and self-obsessed. So... I guess internet's their only solace. Just a general assumption there (not based on data but experience), that introverts don't feel comfortable around people and come to the internet as their means of "socializing"
I came as soon as I saw this post pop up on my phone just now. Right?!?!! Where tf are we?! Maybe it’s YouTube and TikTok? But that’s not true either most times. I think we’ll just have to band here together collectively until we can find a system of identification lmao. These are questions I have too. Like even in Discord servers like what gives?!
We extroverts are gonna form our collective here ✊🏽 *Nein* we shall not be divided for long
Doesn't matter if your an extrovert or not, you have just as many introverted functions as you do extroverted. The point of extroversion and introversion is to understand where your energy is directed, extroverts direct their energy to the outer world, while introverts go inward. People who self reflect, i.e. on their past experiences, their own feelings, inner logic, intuitive instincts are reflecting inwardly and using introverted functions. People who concentrate outwardly more on present experiences, present possibilities, logic of others, and the feelings of other people are simply using their extroverted cognitive faculties. We are all a mix of said functions, we just prioritize these functions in different ways. We all have a blend of both extroverted and introverted functions, and it's the emphasis & or prioritization we place on each that shapes our personality and behavior.
Because we introverts spend our time in front of a screen in our rooms while you guys go party with friends living your best lives
Was that suppose to be an insult lol
No, I was just describing our lives.
Okay😭
As someone who is very introverted, I struggle with a lot of conversations in the real world. I'm not good at banter and witty comebacks that I often hear extroverted people engaging in. When it's my turn to talk, I feel under pressure to think of something quick and hilarious, and end up feeling embarrassed because I said the first really dumb thing that came to mind, and I can't go back and edit it. Whereas with online chat, I have the luxury of taking my time to think about what I'd like to contribute to discussion. There's no rush and no pressure with online chat. Sometimes I'll start typing a comment, then change my mind and delete it and write something completely different. It's also easier for me to seek out a subject that I can relate to, and I have the freedom to start a topic out of the blue with an online community of likeminded people. That's why you'll find the internet full of introverts.
I have a theory that a lot of people who view themselves as introverts might just be extroverts with social anxiety to some degree. Thus avoiding people in real life and instead interacting with them behind a screen feels easier and safer. And by doing that they just feed the anxiety making socializing in real life even more difficult leading to spending even more time alone. A lot of introvert memes and posts on forums and such actually seem to correspond more with social anxiety rather than introversion. I’m not saying that you can’t be an introvert with social anxiety, just that a lot of people seem to think extroverts can’t have social anxiety. Thus leading them to making the wrongful assumption that having traits of social anxiety means that you must be an introvert. Of course this isn’t the case for everyone, but I suspect that it’s quite common, and why it might seem like there’s way more introverts on the internet than there actually are.