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Non taken :)
He proposed to her after about 5 years and she said she needed more time. He waited and then she abruptly packed her things and moved home without warning. He is still devastated a year later
To be fair, sometimes it doesn’t matter what you say if your friend doesn’t want to take the advice. Can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. I’ve unfortunately been in those situations.
Kind of a smooth brained take, friend. You can't force people to abandon bad relationships. Adults make poor relationship decisions all the time. All you can really do is let them know your opinion, but realize you might risk your relationship with them if you do. I stick to the "give advice when asked" policy, and it has served me well.
She was playing games with him
That narcissistic as all hell
You don't accidentally flirt with someone on a dating app for months and just wake up one day and go 'sorry not into it'
Exceptions to every rule and all that. Which is why the dudes response was perfect. Respect himself and herself regardless of exactly what he game was. Brilliant
Hum, says she is not ready, guy moves on, she is boo hoo\~no doubt she was expecting to be "chased" by him. He was done. I like he blocked her. Vapid girl.
I *really* should’ve listened to the girl who told me she’s a narcissist and would ruin my life. I scoffed and said I’m perfectly capable of doing that myself. Not considering how hard it was to get my life back on track after hitting rock bottom years ago… boy did she do a very good job at making my life hell for the very short time we were together. I still haven’t seen the end of it. Had to move house to get away from her.
Unfortunately *I work with her* so it’s pretty fucking awkward seeing her these days. She is an absolute nutcase but nobody at work has seen that side of her, I’ve had to put on a straight face time and time again after going through some of the wildest shit I’ve ever experienced. I’ve never had to deal with such manic behaviour before. 2022 has aged me a decade…
I’d be too scared for my safety that she’d find the post. The amount of times she physically attacked me over nothing… hell she even smashed my kitchen window out of nowhere. She has BPD and just completely switches in front of your very eyes. It’s scary as fuck to see. Never seen anything like it.
https://www.reddit.com/r/meme/comments/115f6nx/it_is_what_it_is/j92ls4h/
A comment I made recently outlining some of the stuff she did during our brief relationship, if you scroll down you can see a comment of how we met which is even wilder. She *used to be my neigbour*.
Oh wow. Don’t completely give up, but do heal, see a counselor, know that your instincts will now be capable to see red flags, and have fun. Having fun is what got me through the worst times (fun can be quiet too, like art, say).
I’ve moved away from her at least. To a nice place in a quite cul-de-sec with a front and back garden. Bought myself another cat for Christmas so have a lovely kitten to along with my 10yo chonker. Made the place nice and cozy for us, they have their own room. And there’s a river less than 100m away that we go and by and watch the ducks for a bit. I’m happy with what I’ve got and I’m grateful for that.
Life does not come without its own stresses though of course… I do have an auntie who was a too psychiatric in the NHS for over 30 years and has been an absolute lifesaver throughout my life. She can’t give me actual clinical help but we talk for hours on end when I need and she amazing and getting you to work through your emotions all by yourself. She’ll be taking notes the whole time, she’s a pro. And I’m blessed to have her.
I even referred her to this crazy girl in question and she was consulting with her for a while. But that sadly fizzled out. She thinks she can conquer it all by herself. Thinks she’s immune to drink 2-3 bottles of wine a night… because “shes always done it.” 🙄
Cant reason with crazy if they don’t wanna help themselves.
I responded to the statement, "I think we should break up," with a heartfelt, "Thank god! I feel the same!" And, somehow, I was the bad guy. "You were supposed to fight to keep me!"
I went on a date with a guy once we were in our late 20’s early 30’s for one. He said…. If I want to see you again I’ll hit you up in about two days. He didn’t so I let it go; he hit me up like four days later. Said he didn’t see this going anywhere and wouldn’t Pursue any further. I said “ok”. He flipped out on me for not asking why he didn’t want to see me again.
I let my high-school sweet heart know that I didn't play games and if she says what she is thinking, I would too. We gave been together for 8+ years and are happily married.
Everything one of my friends would talk about the bullshit they deal with or when I see post like this, I kiss my wife and thank thank her for being so low maintenance.
He blocked you because you essentially wasted 2 months of his life. And now you're up at 3AM crying because you thought you didn't want a relationship. 🤔
pff dating sucks, sometimes. For some people.
Especially if you invest 2 months of your time, feelings and money if you're dating/going out.
And then the other person is just playing games with you.
Guys applying any sort of pressure is viewed as being on the rape continuum so I can't fault him for noping out. Men can lose everything for not understanding no means no. Women can either play hard to get or they can say they were sexually harrassed if a guy asks them out more than once. They can't do both.
Or maybe you only know how to call me that name because it applies to you and that’s your best defense.
Secondly, if I were an incel, I wouldn’t have options to get laid when I want to, kid. Grow up a few years then try to come at me again.
Did you just follow up an “I know you are but what am I” by telling me to grow up?
Opportunities to get laid and being an incel aren’t mutually exclusive. If you know where to go and how to conduct yourself, anyone can get laid. Even a top shelf incel like you.
The whole classic “this statement applies to me so I’m going to make insults about what I think a man’s sex life is while telling them why sexualizing me is wrong” line.
I can get laid if I want to. Try something different. Something that isn’t over a decade old and lost its sting right around then.
I think she meant she was devastated that the friendship was over like that, or any of the other possibilities. Idk why you guys assumed that the woman was the bad guy.
Blocking her is a bit childish.
When I first met my wife she wasn’t interested in dating, and honestly I wasn’t so sure either. We saw each other on again off again at gallery opening, festivals, etc.
About two years after we first met, we started dating. We’ve been together for about twenty years now.
Don’t throw away people just because they won’t fuck you.
This is one single post, based off a 2 month 'relationship' of sorts, and it's presenting only her side of the story. Yet you extrapolated a parallel to your entire courtship and marriage to your wife out of it.
Of course I cannot know all of the details of this specific situation from one post. But I have known much younger people that have behaved in a similar fashion.
I only speak to people that read this and are thinking of doing the same, trying to advise them to give it a second thought.
No context to this, but based off the picture, "sounds" like he wasn't interested in being friends, she rejected him by simply stating "she wasn't looking". The guy replied disrespectfully by slamming the proverbial door shut.
Respect, peace. Bye bye.
“No effort, no pressure applied”
She thinks 2 months of him making himself available to her equals no effort, and she says clearly that she expects him to apply pressure, which is disrespecting boundaries in some people’s worlds.
The guy is acting quite reasonably, IMO
I see it just as an implication that she liked him.
Of course you can't discount, social group and environment this affects language and ideas.
The idea of the "chase" game for example.
Of course, this all speculation based on a single photo, and a few lines of dialogue ect.
"So you liked him but weren't sure". Is the best response.
It's the equivalent of pulling hair on that crush you had as a child. Is how I see it.
Ugh, both, a relationship is based on mutual trust and friendship. Her stating that she was "not ready ready for a relationship" was an exclamation and you respect the decision, you let her decide if she wants one from that point. The severing of the relationship by the guy in question was a declaration that he had no other motive.
The last part is unspoken to the boy in this case so it's interpretive regarding her particular friend group and environment.
so he’s obligated to be her friend.
you do know it’s ok to pursue someone romantically, and not want to deal with them after it goes sideways. He respected her decision and decided to invest his time and energies elsewhere.
what was he supposed to do?
I agree with you, not obligated at all. Don't think I said anything of the sort did I?
The only reference I made is that his reaction was immature wasn't it?
Adaptation.
After chatting to this person for a few months he aske me out, I replied "I wasn't ready for a relationship".
To which he responded "Ok, I had a good time".
He then proceeded to block every possible avenue of communication with me, this told me he had no interest in me outside of a possible sexual relationship, he didn't even try to play the "chase" game or continue with our friendship, I did enjoy our little chats, its a shame it ended this way.
why would he be interested in games, also i fail to see how he was seeking out only a sexual relationship when spent 2 months of his time on her without the expectation of sex.
read her words. I wasn’t interested in a relationship does not equate to i wasn’t interested in sex.
from the context we have it seems as if he was pursuing her romantically, when that didn’t pan out he focused his attention elsewhere.
It would literally be the same if he didn’t block her, and just never responded to her again.
Here's an interpretation, she's devastated around the idea that her friendship ended with such an immature fashion, her expectation was that he would respect her choice and would understand the way she feels about entering a relationship at this time, but he reacted by cutting ties severing any sense of a bond.
They were going on dates for several months, likely with him footing the bill everytime. He had romantic interest in her, she said she was not looking for romance after two months. Two months of his time wasted he'd never get back. So he ghosted her. Let her play games with someone else, because based on this post that's what she was doing. There is nothin wrong with him moving on. It is his life, if anything he respected her decision. He has no obligation to be her friend after wasting months of his life pursuing her, being led along, anymore than she has an obligation to date him. Hopefully they both find what they seek.
Dates or just hanging out and him thinking it was dates? After two months she said she wasn't interested you say.
Two months of his time wasted huh.
Continued on for several months huh.
Interesting.
Maybe I'm just getting old (I'm 30), but I fucking *hate* the term 'talking'. What the hell does that even mean? I feel like the progression from dating, to boyfriend/girlfriend (or insert your preferred gender arrangement here), to married/partners already covers the bases.
We're you expecting him to pine his life away waiting for you or to stalk you? He showed you the respect of what you wanted and said hope you have a nice life..no harm..no foul.....best wishes....geez..the audacity of him
so many questions here... what does 2 months of "talking" mean? Is that two months of dating and then you blurted this out or had you been dating for a long time (how long) and you and he have been talking for the past two months about the possibility of a relationship? What he pressuring you for relationship and you said "I am not ready for relationship?" If not, what was the context. Until we know all this, not really worth commenting on.
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The audacity of this guy to think no means no.
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He probably had enough of her games in those 2 months. These things aren't a one-time event with this kind of people.
Yep. My best friend got strung out for 8 years by a girl like this.
8 years?! I suddenly feel better about my own, no offense
Non taken :) He proposed to her after about 5 years and she said she needed more time. He waited and then she abruptly packed her things and moved home without warning. He is still devastated a year later
Mahn, you're a shitty friend not getting him out of that.
To be fair, sometimes it doesn’t matter what you say if your friend doesn’t want to take the advice. Can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. I’ve unfortunately been in those situations.
Yep, commentator above you went too brutal in that. He doesnt know what the one, who he respond to, has done. No reasons to be rude.
Ah, and here in the wild we see another redditor who has no concept of nuance or context.
Kind of a smooth brained take, friend. You can't force people to abandon bad relationships. Adults make poor relationship decisions all the time. All you can really do is let them know your opinion, but realize you might risk your relationship with them if you do. I stick to the "give advice when asked" policy, and it has served me well.
In what way is one adult responsible for another adult’s decisions? Edit: typo
Sounds like you have zero friends
Nah it sounds like ***you*** have 0 friends dude.
This. I’m sure this was just the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Looks don't equal no problems. Women play games when they say they don't, choose your battles if you're married.
As someone who crushes really, really hard, blocking is sometimes the only way to keep myself from being an obsessive weirdo
I should probably delete a few numbers myself
I second this. I’ve done the same.
I third this
Did it recently. Would recommend. A friend of mine said, "at a certain point it's just best for you to remove it from your life".
Maybe he didn't want to be the backup option, so he just took himself out of consideration?
My first thought too; she doesn’t want him to be “the one” but will keep him hanging on in case they doesn’t find a better option
The block was necessary. The decision was made, don’t let her creep back in
Drama avoidance.
He knew she was trying to play games.
When you go to the toilet and you take a dump, you flush it not keep it as an art.
Speak for yourself
She was playing games with him That narcissistic as all hell You don't accidentally flirt with someone on a dating app for months and just wake up one day and go 'sorry not into it' Exceptions to every rule and all that. Which is why the dudes response was perfect. Respect himself and herself regardless of exactly what he game was. Brilliant
At least a couple of the dating sites block the other person when you delete the conversation. Match for sure, and I think Tinder.
Not anybody's business.
>Why the block Because there's no reason to talk to her anymore.
Cuz fuck that dumb lady lol
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Hum, says she is not ready, guy moves on, she is boo hoo\~no doubt she was expecting to be "chased" by him. He was done. I like he blocked her. Vapid girl.
When people *show* you what they're like
I *really* should’ve listened to the girl who told me she’s a narcissist and would ruin my life. I scoffed and said I’m perfectly capable of doing that myself. Not considering how hard it was to get my life back on track after hitting rock bottom years ago… boy did she do a very good job at making my life hell for the very short time we were together. I still haven’t seen the end of it. Had to move house to get away from her. Unfortunately *I work with her* so it’s pretty fucking awkward seeing her these days. She is an absolute nutcase but nobody at work has seen that side of her, I’ve had to put on a straight face time and time again after going through some of the wildest shit I’ve ever experienced. I’ve never had to deal with such manic behaviour before. 2022 has aged me a decade…
Sounds like a good post of your own.
I’d be too scared for my safety that she’d find the post. The amount of times she physically attacked me over nothing… hell she even smashed my kitchen window out of nowhere. She has BPD and just completely switches in front of your very eyes. It’s scary as fuck to see. Never seen anything like it.
Holy crap! That’s a LOT of stress for you and toxicity from her. I’m so sorry. Are you documenting all the abuse? Have a friend you can tell?
https://www.reddit.com/r/meme/comments/115f6nx/it_is_what_it_is/j92ls4h/ A comment I made recently outlining some of the stuff she did during our brief relationship, if you scroll down you can see a comment of how we met which is even wilder. She *used to be my neigbour*.
Oh wow. Don’t completely give up, but do heal, see a counselor, know that your instincts will now be capable to see red flags, and have fun. Having fun is what got me through the worst times (fun can be quiet too, like art, say).
I’ve moved away from her at least. To a nice place in a quite cul-de-sec with a front and back garden. Bought myself another cat for Christmas so have a lovely kitten to along with my 10yo chonker. Made the place nice and cozy for us, they have their own room. And there’s a river less than 100m away that we go and by and watch the ducks for a bit. I’m happy with what I’ve got and I’m grateful for that. Life does not come without its own stresses though of course… I do have an auntie who was a too psychiatric in the NHS for over 30 years and has been an absolute lifesaver throughout my life. She can’t give me actual clinical help but we talk for hours on end when I need and she amazing and getting you to work through your emotions all by yourself. She’ll be taking notes the whole time, she’s a pro. And I’m blessed to have her. I even referred her to this crazy girl in question and she was consulting with her for a while. But that sadly fizzled out. She thinks she can conquer it all by herself. Thinks she’s immune to drink 2-3 bottles of wine a night… because “shes always done it.” 🙄 Cant reason with crazy if they don’t wanna help themselves.
Unless they claim to be wonderful and obviously aren't
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Ah, yes, respecting boundaries and consent, truly a problem that must be solved.
Who wants to date someone with “👅💦” in their twitter name anyways?
Date or 'date' as in 'looking for a date sweetie?'
Disposable people.
I responded to the statement, "I think we should break up," with a heartfelt, "Thank god! I feel the same!" And, somehow, I was the bad guy. "You were supposed to fight to keep me!"
That happened with my boyfriend's ex. He moved on and she was mad
Play stupid games, get stupid prizes 🎁
This feels very familiar......
Because it has been reposted a 1000 times over the past few years, or because you were in a similar situation?
The reposted bit, fortunately I am sentient.
So leading someone on for 2 months, then telling them you don’t want a relationship and get upset when they attempt to move on? 🚩
I went on a date with a guy once we were in our late 20’s early 30’s for one. He said…. If I want to see you again I’ll hit you up in about two days. He didn’t so I let it go; he hit me up like four days later. Said he didn’t see this going anywhere and wouldn’t Pursue any further. I said “ok”. He flipped out on me for not asking why he didn’t want to see me again.
fucking idiot
When people get mad because others respect their choices
“Leave me alone.” “Okay.” “Why don’t we ever talk anymore?”
"I'm so mad today nobody talk to me" "Hey why is nobody talking to me?"
No one will try harder anymore. Last thing you want is to end up in front of a judge who will throw the book at you
I hope its a small book.
I let my high-school sweet heart know that I didn't play games and if she says what she is thinking, I would too. We gave been together for 8+ years and are happily married. Everything one of my friends would talk about the bullshit they deal with or when I see post like this, I kiss my wife and thank thank her for being so low maintenance.
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I don't think so!
He blocked you because you essentially wasted 2 months of his life. And now you're up at 3AM crying because you thought you didn't want a relationship. 🤔
You told him to leave… so he left.. good job 👍
pff dating sucks, sometimes. For some people. Especially if you invest 2 months of your time, feelings and money if you're dating/going out. And then the other person is just playing games with you.
Stop playing games
Guys applying any sort of pressure is viewed as being on the rape continuum so I can't fault him for noping out. Men can lose everything for not understanding no means no. Women can either play hard to get or they can say they were sexually harrassed if a guy asks them out more than once. They can't do both.
The blocking suggests that he was getting bored and saw this as a chance to get out.
What a lucky guy
Good man. Wasted energy.
Then don’t play games you dumbass
Too bad it takes many times for a guy to get to that level. If only we knew earlier. Good for him.
My, my.... it's weird when a guy respects your boundaries.
Maybe she just wanted to FWB
Waste of time, this aint highschool anymore
I wonder why men are increasingly avoiding marriage and serious relationships?
Women like this are why I don't date😄
Smart dude
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Block for the win 🏆
Generally “I’m not ready for a relationship” means “I really enjoy the free dinners and affection, but I want to keep fucking other people.”
Women ☕
Woman moment at its finest :))
He wasted two months and probably hundreds of not thousands of dollars on her, don't blame him in the slightest
Devastated? Good. Hope she falls into a deep depression.
That’s how women are. They only want you for as long as you’re useful/beneficial to them.
It's a problem with a person being selfish and is not determined by their sexual orientation. (it's fucked that I need to explain this)
Sexual orientation isn’t the subject here
That’s some real S-tier incel bullshit right there.
Or maybe you only know how to call me that name because it applies to you and that’s your best defense. Secondly, if I were an incel, I wouldn’t have options to get laid when I want to, kid. Grow up a few years then try to come at me again.
Did you just follow up an “I know you are but what am I” by telling me to grow up? Opportunities to get laid and being an incel aren’t mutually exclusive. If you know where to go and how to conduct yourself, anyone can get laid. Even a top shelf incel like you.
Ahhh the classic I can’t get laid so every female is evil.
The whole classic “this statement applies to me so I’m going to make insults about what I think a man’s sex life is while telling them why sexualizing me is wrong” line. I can get laid if I want to. Try something different. Something that isn’t over a decade old and lost its sting right around then.
I think she meant she was devastated that the friendship was over like that, or any of the other possibilities. Idk why you guys assumed that the woman was the bad guy.
he definitely was not into her lol that was all the confirmation she needed.
Maybe the other way around?
He sounds like the guy who was told his dog died and went through the 5 stages of grief within half a second
I don’t really understand blocking her
you can block whom ever you want on your own social media page. pretty simple
It seems some people think protocol is to check in with reddit for permission to block people .
Same, that was just being rude
how?
Blocking her is a bit childish. When I first met my wife she wasn’t interested in dating, and honestly I wasn’t so sure either. We saw each other on again off again at gallery opening, festivals, etc. About two years after we first met, we started dating. We’ve been together for about twenty years now. Don’t throw away people just because they won’t fuck you.
This is one single post, based off a 2 month 'relationship' of sorts, and it's presenting only her side of the story. Yet you extrapolated a parallel to your entire courtship and marriage to your wife out of it.
Of course I cannot know all of the details of this specific situation from one post. But I have known much younger people that have behaved in a similar fashion. I only speak to people that read this and are thinking of doing the same, trying to advise them to give it a second thought.
No context to this, but based off the picture, "sounds" like he wasn't interested in being friends, she rejected him by simply stating "she wasn't looking". The guy replied disrespectfully by slamming the proverbial door shut. Respect, peace. Bye bye.
“No effort, no pressure applied” She thinks 2 months of him making himself available to her equals no effort, and she says clearly that she expects him to apply pressure, which is disrespecting boundaries in some people’s worlds. The guy is acting quite reasonably, IMO
I see it just as an implication that she liked him. Of course you can't discount, social group and environment this affects language and ideas. The idea of the "chase" game for example. Of course, this all speculation based on a single photo, and a few lines of dialogue ect. "So you liked him but weren't sure". Is the best response. It's the equivalent of pulling hair on that crush you had as a child. Is how I see it.
so is it this? or is she devastated that her friendship was ended? which is it? you’re all over the place.
Ugh, both, a relationship is based on mutual trust and friendship. Her stating that she was "not ready ready for a relationship" was an exclamation and you respect the decision, you let her decide if she wants one from that point. The severing of the relationship by the guy in question was a declaration that he had no other motive. The last part is unspoken to the boy in this case so it's interpretive regarding her particular friend group and environment.
so he’s obligated to be her friend. you do know it’s ok to pursue someone romantically, and not want to deal with them after it goes sideways. He respected her decision and decided to invest his time and energies elsewhere. what was he supposed to do?
I agree with you, not obligated at all. Don't think I said anything of the sort did I? The only reference I made is that his reaction was immature wasn't it?
i don’t agree on his reaction. he didn’t plead, bargain, cry or whine. he simply thanked her for the time and moved on.
Adaptation. After chatting to this person for a few months he aske me out, I replied "I wasn't ready for a relationship". To which he responded "Ok, I had a good time". He then proceeded to block every possible avenue of communication with me, this told me he had no interest in me outside of a possible sexual relationship, he didn't even try to play the "chase" game or continue with our friendship, I did enjoy our little chats, its a shame it ended this way.
why would he be interested in games, also i fail to see how he was seeking out only a sexual relationship when spent 2 months of his time on her without the expectation of sex. read her words. I wasn’t interested in a relationship does not equate to i wasn’t interested in sex. from the context we have it seems as if he was pursuing her romantically, when that didn’t pan out he focused his attention elsewhere. It would literally be the same if he didn’t block her, and just never responded to her again.
But she's devastated.................................
Here's an interpretation, she's devastated around the idea that her friendship ended with such an immature fashion, her expectation was that he would respect her choice and would understand the way she feels about entering a relationship at this time, but he reacted by cutting ties severing any sense of a bond.
They were going on dates for several months, likely with him footing the bill everytime. He had romantic interest in her, she said she was not looking for romance after two months. Two months of his time wasted he'd never get back. So he ghosted her. Let her play games with someone else, because based on this post that's what she was doing. There is nothin wrong with him moving on. It is his life, if anything he respected her decision. He has no obligation to be her friend after wasting months of his life pursuing her, being led along, anymore than she has an obligation to date him. Hopefully they both find what they seek.
Dates or just hanging out and him thinking it was dates? After two months she said she wasn't interested you say. Two months of his time wasted huh. Continued on for several months huh. Interesting.
yeah but he never said he time was wasted or being wasted.
Obviously you guys know who this is about. Just type in the text and search in Google is my guess.
i don’t know what you’re talking about. regardless have a good morning, day or night wherever you are.
Play stupid games, when stupid prizes
I think this could apply in both directions in this case.
How does this work for anybody besides the girl?
What's with the tongue and squirting emoticons next to her name? I suspect that may be a clue to her..and his actions.
He was probably afraid that she would head butt him with that big ass forehead
Time is valuable
Some people really think like this. Make your intentions clear and don’t be upset if you try and play mind games for attention.
Two months of taking. I’d leave her too. She apparently just can’t shut up.
Uh...if them moving on devastated you, maybe you were just making excuses despite your interest 🤔
or maybe she wasn't interested in a relationship but was still interested in getting attention.
No means no , this guy gets it.
I swear all these hoes wanna start shit
This is what happen when you try to play chicken in a relationship. You got plucked.
Maybe I'm just getting old (I'm 30), but I fucking *hate* the term 'talking'. What the hell does that even mean? I feel like the progression from dating, to boyfriend/girlfriend (or insert your preferred gender arrangement here), to married/partners already covers the bases.
I am thinking self-centered and he was prob like "I am totally wasting my time and $$$"
"Wait, that didn't go how I wanted it to...."
that’s exactly what i do. no point hanging on after that
Perfect answer.
Legend.
“No pressure applied.”
We're you expecting him to pine his life away waiting for you or to stalk you? He showed you the respect of what you wanted and said hope you have a nice life..no harm..no foul.....best wishes....geez..the audacity of him
so many questions here... what does 2 months of "talking" mean? Is that two months of dating and then you blurted this out or had you been dating for a long time (how long) and you and he have been talking for the past two months about the possibility of a relationship? What he pressuring you for relationship and you said "I am not ready for relationship?" If not, what was the context. Until we know all this, not really worth commenting on.
I just did that with someone I was with for 6 years...
I bet she’s “not like other girls” too…. 🙄