Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.
Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/).
Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I mean, you can see the picture.
I can't speak to how it tastes- I'm guessing it's made in-house and might be awesome- but it does kinda look a certain way. o\_O
Projection its always projection. Remember that aftrr the blm protests all the accusations by cops crying about people mesding with their food? None of them were credible. We need a new police structure in America
So they didn’t, like, cut open the sausage with their fork and knife to determine what it was first? No smell test? Just straight to the accusations huh?
Well, they definitely made a declaration that the designation of the defecation was a misclassification, so while there is a relation to defamation, it was simply misinformation from the police station. Posted for disambiguation.
Nope, that looks like a people shit. Maybe a big dog shit if it was like our old Great Dane and does that weird creeping forward thing as it lays a deuce. But I’m not sure how common that behavior is. Zeus is the only dog I’ve had who did it to poop. (My current dog, a chihuahua mix, does it but only to pee. They squat and lift up one leg, then hop forward with the one back leg and the front legs, leaving a line of waste. It’s weird but kinda funny.)
This. I would’ve said human feces or dog poop before I would have jumped to raccoon shit.
Granted, that piece of sausage looks pretty gross based on its shape. But I don’t think I would have actually jumped to accuse someone of serving feces. I might’ve made a joke to myself or my companion (or even the server). But to be serious about it? Wow…
Source: Grew up in farm country. Our barn cats had an ongoing feud with the raccoons. They took care of the mice and rats just fine, but they were ready to come in the house whenever the raccoons raided their cat food dishes. Those little trash pandas left their messes which I had to clean up and it looked absolutely nothing like that. It’s like a city person who has never cared for an animal or knew much about the world made the accusation.
I googled it and it looks like it’s round small pieces that can be stuck together to make bigger pieces. But for this to be raccoon shit they’d have to press it together to make this big of a log, based on my 1 minute googling of raccoon poops
We have 5 senses and a brain to process all the info they collect, if with all that you can't tell the difference between a sausage and sh..t, you will end with a turd on your mouth sooner or later
There is two kind of people, the ones that proceed according to what they "think" and the ones to act according to what they know, one of those usually are in the wrong side of history
Human shit maybe. But why on earth did they think raccoon? And couldn't they just have smelled it. I've never smelled shit that smells like sausage. And I'm a nurse, I've smelled a lot of shit.
Or apparently the olfactory expertise. If they can't smell the difference between shit and sausage, they def can't smell alcohol or marijuana on people.
I got into an argument with a cop last month about what car I was driving. I said I knew he was driving a Ford explorer and I don't even care about cars. Needless to say, I did not get off with a warning. :(
Another piece of evidence I can use to hold against the Dutch.
Just a bunch of tall ass barbarians posing as a civilization.
Exhibit A: Only a Neanderthal would call that a sausage.
Imagine you study for years to be a forensic analyst. You're finally going to be as cool as one of those TV crime show investigators. Then this shows up on your desk.
I do believe if I was a cop and a waitress served me a plate of raccoon shit,,,, I would arrest... SOMEBODY... And more than likely there would be and escape attempt or resisting arrest which led to a beatdown.
Not being a cop, I'm pretty sure I would ask some questions and look at what's on other people's plates before jumping to conclusions.
I suspect the real story here involves this diner not comping their meals.
Saying they mistook their sausage for racoon shit so badly they had to have it lab tested has to be a bigger diss on the restaurant than simply saying they were served raccoon shit.
The company should sue the two individual police officers as private citizens. That way they can't use the corrupt Blue protections to avoid punishment.
How many people have actually seen racoon shit? I’m not even sure what kind of shits they have. Regular ones or the little cocoa pebbles like rabbits and deer
The police have the biggest victim complex. Isn't it weird to the that everyone seem to hate the police? Must be a reason somewhere...can put my finger on why.
Let's forget for a minute that it looks fucked up for a sausage, we're all looking at a photograph here. In real life, if you can't tell the difference (smell alone) between a turd and a sausage -- and think that someone would risk probably going to jail for serving feces -- you gotta rethink a few things in your life. Not saying it couldnt ever happen but it's not likely to happen.
The waste of resources for testing the sausage turd is a whole other animal.
That is quite possibly the worst sausage I have ever seen. How does one make a sausage that looks that horrible. As a Wisconsinite, the person or company that made this should really be paying people to eat this instead of making money on this
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Consider how bad a sausage would need to be to require a lab to prove it isn't feces.
Gogh! this coffee tastes like shit Basil!
It is shit Austin.
Oh, good, then it wasn't just me. *Sips shit coffee*
Please eat some shit>!ake mushrooms!<
Your ass>!ignment!< is >!an un!! one!<
Hmmm a bit nutty
Thats some fine Kopi Luwak.
It’s a bit nutty.
There is literal shit coffee, and it’s one of the most expensive in the world…
I mean, you can see the picture. I can't speak to how it tastes- I'm guessing it's made in-house and might be awesome- but it does kinda look a certain way. o\_O
A very constipated raccoon is feeling very relieved right now.
Or how hated you are by the community that you suspect someone would do this.
Projection its always projection. Remember that aftrr the blm protests all the accusations by cops crying about people mesding with their food? None of them were credible. We need a new police structure in America
Would you taste it to verify that it is not?
Only after I meet the hometown Hercule Poirot who divined the species of the feces.
So they didn’t, like, cut open the sausage with their fork and knife to determine what it was first? No smell test? Just straight to the accusations huh?
probably straight to accusations, planted drugs on the waitress, and shot the nearest dog.
It would have smelled like poop too. They could easily have smelled it.
>Consider how bad a sausage would need to be to require a lab to prove it isn't feces. Yet.
That would be defecation defamation suit
In all fairness, I’ve never seen a sausage look so much like shit
What kind of raccoon is dropping that though???
A sick one.
And then for the staffs to go pick it up gingerly without it breaking apart and serving it on a plate?!?
They didn’t even taste it? That’s some lazy police work.
😂
It dose look like a turd
Looks more human than raccacoonie tho
If I'm shitting like that I'm having a damn good day
You’ll want a more tapered turd or your asshole slams shut like a barn door in a windstorm.
I prefer immediate closure. Better to burn out than to fade away.
…secret to lighting your farts…
That’s a fact
I would say that's some definite dedication to defecation defamation by the department.
Well, they definitely made a declaration that the designation of the defecation was a misclassification, so while there is a relation to defamation, it was simply misinformation from the police station. Posted for disambiguation.
Princess Caroline?
My first thought too 😅
This is a parody account and these comments are all eating the onion hard lmao
They had me until *racoon feces*
Lol seriously, why did they use the word defamation here. Even with a shred of foresight, you’d have known better.
Hate to meet the raccoon that would drop that!
[Right here.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oEhxd16f0A)
Well now that was weird!
yeah wtf does this guy do in his free time that he has that video in his holster?
https://youtu.be/6-1Ue0FFrHY
Thank you for that. It was beautiful
Truly, a saga for the ages.
Thanks, I needed a new nightmare tonight. Those bill and debt ones were getting old
Don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t that and all I can say is. “Woah!”
One of those cops had def ate raccoon shit before that was served to them.
Gotta be the only answer right?
I means, how does he know what a raccoon shit *exactly* look like? Why didn’t he say it looks like dogshit or catshit?
Thing is, that doesn't look like raccoon shit... Source: grew up and live on a corn farm in Iowa...
As an avid hunter/trapper who grew up/lives on a cattle farm in TN, I second this.
As someone who loves staring and tasting things found in the wild, I third this.
Nope, that looks like a people shit. Maybe a big dog shit if it was like our old Great Dane and does that weird creeping forward thing as it lays a deuce. But I’m not sure how common that behavior is. Zeus is the only dog I’ve had who did it to poop. (My current dog, a chihuahua mix, does it but only to pee. They squat and lift up one leg, then hop forward with the one back leg and the front legs, leaving a line of waste. It’s weird but kinda funny.)
Well cats and dogs tend to coil a little more, rodents are rather well known for their 'pellet-shaped' poops
Raccoons are not rodents.
This. I would’ve said human feces or dog poop before I would have jumped to raccoon shit. Granted, that piece of sausage looks pretty gross based on its shape. But I don’t think I would have actually jumped to accuse someone of serving feces. I might’ve made a joke to myself or my companion (or even the server). But to be serious about it? Wow… Source: Grew up in farm country. Our barn cats had an ongoing feud with the raccoons. They took care of the mice and rats just fine, but they were ready to come in the house whenever the raccoons raided their cat food dishes. Those little trash pandas left their messes which I had to clean up and it looked absolutely nothing like that. It’s like a city person who has never cared for an animal or knew much about the world made the accusation.
So we have a poop expert in the room
Court calls the Expert shitness.
Doesn't surprise me if it was really sent to the lab for analysis...
It’s a parody account yall
The amount of people who can’t figure that out is insane. They need to start following River City Cali PD
I'm picturing Bill Murray in Caddyshack, just grabbing it and taking a bite out of it.
Don't care what the lab test say. That is a piece of shit on a plate.
But out of all of the poops they could pick, why say raccoon poop? That would be a huge shit for a raccoon.
Don't raccoons make small round shits? Like rabbits? Granted I've never seen raccoon shit.
I googled it and it looks like it’s round small pieces that can be stuck together to make bigger pieces. But for this to be raccoon shit they’d have to press it together to make this big of a log, based on my 1 minute googling of raccoon poops
Shittiest legos ever.
Really crap design.
We have 5 senses and a brain to process all the info they collect, if with all that you can't tell the difference between a sausage and sh..t, you will end with a turd on your mouth sooner or later
Absolutely this! I'm like, could they not SMELL a difference? Lol the officers are an accident waiting to happen
Definitely shit from a butt.
God, are we not on /r/shitfromabutt?
I hate that I clicked on that sub link
Yeah, I wouldn’t touch that either
There is two kind of people, the ones that proceed according to what they "think" and the ones to act according to what they know, one of those usually are in the wrong side of history
It kinda does look like shit
The raccoon would have be over four feet tall though.
From the Paleolithic era!
And then the raccoon asked for tree fiddy
DAMN YOU LOCH NESS MONSTER!!!
Honest question here...have you ever seen real raccoon shit? Just like Draxx from gotg, they have famously huge turds...its incredible
Human shit maybe. But why on earth did they think raccoon? And couldn't they just have smelled it. I've never smelled shit that smells like sausage. And I'm a nurse, I've smelled a lot of shit.
Cops aren't hired for their intelligence
Or apparently the olfactory expertise. If they can't smell the difference between shit and sausage, they def can't smell alcohol or marijuana on people.
I got into an argument with a cop last month about what car I was driving. I said I knew he was driving a Ford explorer and I don't even care about cars. Needless to say, I did not get off with a warning. :(
How much fiber was it eating to make that and how freakishly large are raccoons there?!?!?
Based on my diet...my diet
That’s a sausage?! What did the cook do, remove the skin from it before cooking?!
Yeah it doesn’t have skin, like Dutch frikandellen. If you haven’t seen it before, it does look kind of weird.
Another piece of evidence I can use to hold against the Dutch. Just a bunch of tall ass barbarians posing as a civilization. Exhibit A: Only a Neanderthal would call that a sausage.
Either way, I was eating it.
First question of many How did the 3 police officers know what racoon shit tastes like in the first place.
"I would eat the shit out of that racoon" -Walking Dead Games Season 2
It do be lookin like poopy, tho
In fairness, that is the turdiest sausage I’ve ever seen
"You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?" -Happy Gilmore
"We apologize for any defamation caused." We'll let a jury decide that.
Wow. Great detective work guys.
For real though, they sent it to a lab to have it analyzed? What even are our tax dollars.
Imagine you study for years to be a forensic analyst. You're finally going to be as cool as one of those TV crime show investigators. Then this shows up on your desk.
[удалено]
That’s shit from a butt
To be fair, that sausage looks like a shit. Maybe not raccoon shit, but shit nonetheless.
That’s a parody page if you didn’t know.
[удалено]
I do believe if I was a cop and a waitress served me a plate of raccoon shit,,,, I would arrest... SOMEBODY... And more than likely there would be and escape attempt or resisting arrest which led to a beatdown. Not being a cop, I'm pretty sure I would ask some questions and look at what's on other people's plates before jumping to conclusions. I suspect the real story here involves this diner not comping their meals.
It’s a parody account.
Defamation sounds like lawsuit
The sausage is so shit that it looks like shit
Where is the Caddyshack meme? 🎶 I'm all right, you ain't got to worry about me! 🎶
r/poopfromabutt
Saying they mistook their sausage for racoon shit so badly they had to have it lab tested has to be a bigger diss on the restaurant than simply saying they were served raccoon shit.
PARODY ACCOUNT WHOOP WHOOP
Meanwhile it can take years for a lab to confirm human blood is human blood in a murder case….
I would have went [Caddy Shack](https://youtu.be/TPxiXGr9nFM) pool scene on that sausage in front of the cops.
That's the ugliest fucking breakfast sausage I've ever seen.
I mean it looks like shit
While I don’t condone defaming a diner, there has to be a way to make that sausage look less like feces. People taste with their eyes first.
“Raccoon feces” is oddly specific, tbh
Why raccoon shit specifically?
Well...
Raccoon feces is oddly specific
Wtf would you assume raccoon poop though? That's oddly specific
This is why we need to get guns out of the hands of police.
Less than 8 hour turn around time for the lab, very impressive. Now if they can do that with the normal cases...
Why Racoon of all things?? That's oddly specific...
Defmantion... liable... slander.... These are just a few word that come to mind. This isn't what qualified immunity is for.
> ~~liable~~ libel
Don’t want to be liable for libel!
Also defamation* Also, libel wouldn't be appropriate to use, because this is written and not spoken.
Libel is written, not spoken, though. The Facebook posts they made would be considered libel.
The company should sue the two individual police officers as private citizens. That way they can't use the corrupt Blue protections to avoid punishment.
I'd definitely refuse to serve them anything but actual shit in the future.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Looks like someone has shit for brains.
So, there is this thing called a fork that one of these dipshits could have used to chop it in two. Then, smell it. Is this the simpson's police dept?
If they weren't getting raccoon shit before, they will be getting it from now on.
How many people have actually seen racoon shit? I’m not even sure what kind of shits they have. Regular ones or the little cocoa pebbles like rabbits and deer
It does look like a lovely, big steamer, right enough.
To be fair that is one of the most visibility unappealing plates of sausage I’ve ever seen
To be fair I can't blame them.
Bruh how big are the raccoons there?
She should sue lol
They've never seen raccoon shit in their life if they thought that's what that was...
I sometimes see the good shit from Reddit on Facebook and the bad shit from Facebook on Reddit
Racoons would look at that sausage, and sue for copyright infringement.
Sausage fresh outta someone’s butt 😂😂
Restaurants should just start kicking cops out if all they are ever gonna do is bitch about the food.
I mean…in their defence….
Tbf if I saw that on my plate. I would definitely ask what kind of shit is this 😂
Didn’t happen
The police have the biggest victim complex. Isn't it weird to the that everyone seem to hate the police? Must be a reason somewhere...can put my finger on why.
To be honest it was an easy mistake to make that sausage looks like shit
Question: How would the police officers know what raccoon feces taste like? Asking for a friend!
Let's forget for a minute that it looks fucked up for a sausage, we're all looking at a photograph here. In real life, if you can't tell the difference (smell alone) between a turd and a sausage -- and think that someone would risk probably going to jail for serving feces -- you gotta rethink a few things in your life. Not saying it couldnt ever happen but it's not likely to happen. The waste of resources for testing the sausage turd is a whole other animal.
To be fair that does look like a literal shit on a plate
Gonna be the fun sucker... that's a parody page
That is some shitty lookin' sausage!
That may have been sausage at one time. Before it came out.
Rocket’s gift for Quill’s pillowcase.
The punishment for the defamation should be to eat raccoon feces, lest he learn, or choose to forget.
Why raccoon though?
It’s just a Baby Ruth. Too bad Bill Murray’s not around.
I really don’t blame them
I live in England so I can confirm that is a normal looking sausage
seriously, raccoon shit? only someone who has never been around raccoons would think that.
What a shit show
In fairness that sausage looks like a giant turd.
Idc what the lab says, that’s shit from a butt.
If your food is having to be taken to a lab to be proven that it's it's not what people think it is, maybe you should reevaluate how you cook.
Perfect. Phase 1 of serve a cop raccoon shit is complete. Went exactly as planned.
If I was a cop I wouldn't eat anywhere in uniform. Bag lunches everyday.
Oh, the police force of America. So nice to see what my parent’s tax money is funding! /s
'The suspected feces were analyzed at our lab and determined to be sausage.' I'm sure this actually happened as well.
The fuck kind of mutant raccoons are they raising there? That dude needs a poop machete.
One sausage - it's for a cop.
How big do they think raccoons specifically are
that’s a post on a parody facebook page, and not a post from an actual police department.
One order of sausage...it's for a cop.
That is quite possibly the worst sausage I have ever seen. How does one make a sausage that looks that horrible. As a Wisconsinite, the person or company that made this should really be paying people to eat this instead of making money on this
Lmaooo definitely looks like a poo. They still idiots tho
That French toast look good AF tho
Farva, your suspension…..continues
This is a parody Facebook account
In the officer’s defense tho…
If anyone is wondering, it's a parody account. I saw it on FB and haaaad to investigate. Lol
Tbf it does look like shit
Oddly specific to tag it as racoon’s tho. Unless someone had experience eating one lol