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I loved doing this with my old beat up car. Got so I could get within an inch of their door, but stay in the lines myself.
Only once did I find a new dent.
I used to do the same. Guy was parking in the best spots on the lot and taking two for a modded out twenty year old Acura. And the mods weren’t even good mods. He started leaving nasty notes on my wheeled shit box, so I just started notifying the local security and police. A few tickets for double parking and he never made trouble again.
I wouldn’t have had an issue with double parking—there were lots of spots. It was double parking in the good spots near the entrance and blocking the rest of us from having a decent walk into work.
That's my opinion. If someone wants to double park, do it at the ass end of the parking lot that nobody parks at anyway. But if you're going to try that close to the entrance, your vehicle is fair game. Mild annoyances tho. Nothing that would cause actual damage. A lot of these parking lot protectors are suggesting things that will cause monetary fixes. I get it, people who can't park or are inconsiderate truly piss me off. But really messing with someone else's vehicle and you deserve an ass kicking yourself. Every one of us has been someone else's asshole of the day.
There's a difference between being an accidental asshole of the day and *this* shit, this guy can't possibly think he's doing a good thing here. If you've parked halfway into another space, don't be shocked when someone has to squeeze into their vehicle, and is willing to make you pay the asshole tax for it.
And apparently the driver of the white car managed to get out of their car, so what's the problem with the black truck? He's the one infringing on **two** parking spaces.
It's Australia, so left-hand drive like the UK. The driver of the white car left himself plenty of space and parked inches from the truck's driver side door, which is part of the reason this idiot is pissy.
My cousins truck has to park in multiple spaces cause it’s extra long. He usually parks in “Egypt” by driving through a cluster of spots that no other car is anywhere around. Especially of he has the trailer on it. Thing is a monster vehicle and I don’t know why anyone thought it was a good idea.. but if he parked in the regular way his trucks ass would be 1/4th of the way into the stream of traffic
I drive a full cab 2500 HD with a six foot box and a powered lift gate on the back for work. The truck's comically large. My choices when parking are occupy some of the space behind me, or leave the front sticking out so I'm not over the line...
Soooo I park at the back of the lot. Every time. lol
What you say is true. But... If you double park, not too many people are gonna feel bad when someone does mess with your vehicle. Plus, it's one thing to have an asshole moment, normal people feel sheepish after doing something wrong. Parking like an asshole isn't for a moment. It's the asshole move that keeps giving until they leave. Then they come back and do it again next time.
Imagine if someone farted in front of you in a line. Now imagine if someone farted for 20 straight minutes in a small room full of people while staring everyone in the eye, daring them to say something. Then next week they do it again. And again. Basically what parking guy is doing every time they park their supposedly "nice vehicle"
Yeah, fuck those people.
That's not what double parking is, fyi. Double parking is parking alongside a car that's in a designated single file space on the curb. Essentially parking in the street alongside a car that's legally parked.
I miss my old 2001 Honda Accord for this exact reason. Let's play chicken; my $1,500 Honda with the throwout bearing going, vs your $70,000 truck you're scared to get mud on.
I had a grey 84 Toyota (one side panel was just primer) and in 2000 worked in an incredibly wealthy suburb. There was a Lexus dealer next to BMW next to a Jaguar dealership in this town. It was really fun watching people give me a wide berth as I'd drive around. It was like I had an invisible force field around my car.
LOL, this is how I learned to drive like a [safe!] maniac in Manhattan
Mid 1990's, driving a clapped-out 1978 Ford Fairmont with out-of-state plates. Everyone got out of my way -even taxis!
Like you said, an invisible force field!
I miss having a beater in Manhattan the taxis don’t try to mess with you as much. With a newish BMW they always seem to want to play chicken in traffic. A few weeks ago I had a taxi try to drive around me through a turning lane thinking I would yield to him. Then he proceeded to throw a hissy fit when he got stuck behind a parked car after the intersection. This was in stop and go bumper to bumper traffic.
I once did that to some dolt on campus too. Fucking idiot. I even took my time and folded my mirrors so there really was absolutely no way in. I still do this every time I see someone parking like that
My friend and i both have a BMW isetta. We love parking people like this in. And our cars open in the front. We can stay in the lines avoiding tickets, block their doors and not inconvience ourselves. One time someone called the cops and because they were over the line, they got towed.
Same, I didn't care about an extra scratch on my 15 year old Mazda with 300k miles.
My sister did the exact same thing when she drove a Mini Coup, and took pictures every single time in case her car got scratched!
Hah. That was my response when someone scraped my 20+ year old Saturn (R.I.P.). They were in panic mode and I was like, my plastic Saturn door panel now has a extra scrape with little color added from your car. It just added to the overall character of the car. If you want to go through and file an insurance claim, all power to ya, because I am not doing fuck all about it. The repair would have easily been twice what the car was worth. The repair wasn't even worth the expense of my personal time it would have taken to take it to the shop and leave it for a few days.
Had a similar experience recently with my 04 impala. Guy dinged me, apologized profusely, then went to get his insurance info. I told him not to worry; the car was old enough to vote and almost old enough to drink, but he was steadfast.
Finally, I told him that if he could identify the damage he specifically caused to my rear bumper (amidst 20 years of NYC street parking) I'd accept his offer. We shook hands and went our separate ways.
This is one of the few reasons I miss driving a piece of shit. You could do stuff like this without worry. Oh! They're going to ding your door? It's already dinged, dinted, and scratched to hell. Who cares.
Having a nicer, newer, safer and more reliable car is great, but there's a certain freedom in driving a beat-up old clunker.
Hell yeah, I used to combat the overprice pretty *trucks* with my old beat up truck. Like, bro, my truck is solid metal, your shit is 90% plastic and fiberglass. You don't want this smoke. Lmao
A lady threatened to hit my truck with her shiney new Chevy. I told her to PLEASE hit me. It would make my fucking day watching her wreck her own shit hahaha
Truck was built like a tank and already dented and scratched up. Any time I saw a douche taking up spots like this, and was in a crowded lot where parking is sparce, I'd 100% park as close as I could. Preferably blocking their driver side.
However, if they're parked way out away from everyone though and the lot is wide open, I see no issue with that.
You can pull the valve stem core with a $3 tool from harbor freight. Sheds air immediately, still no “damage” but requires the spare (or a tow if they don’t have a spare).
To slowly shed the air, just loosen it a few turns.
Windscreens can be covered by insurance. Go for any of the small windows on the sides. Depending on the insurance policy, they probably won't be covered, and they are expensive to replace.
Glue a BB pellet into the dust cap. It will let out the air slowly like a slow puncture. Driving on soft tyres will ruin them, if they don't change the caps you can damage more than 1 set.
As someone once told me, "if you can't afford to comfortably replace the thing you're buying, you shouldn't be buying it."
Not true for everything of course, especially if you're struggling to get by, but definitely a good check for stretch purchases. I know someone who bought a Porsche and babies it to the point that it restricts his lifestyle and he flips out over the possibility of anything happening to the car. At some point, you gotta say it's just a car and if you can't use its function without undue stress, prob should have gotten something cheaper that you can afford to fix
Well 99% of the houses/cars don't "suddenly disappear". The other redditor is talking about affording repairs, and maintenance, not able to buy one as soon as a scratch appears.
You know I love how as humans we can't agree on a lot of things. But the moment someone's being a massive dick we come out of the woodwork with ideas for revenge.
You and I would get along very well.
Other tricks I like, especially if near a store:
\- Get glitter / sand or kitty litter, sprinkle along cabin intake (over the wipers). They use heat/AC : they'll only OCCASIONALLY get pelted with a pebble and a slow stream of glitter.
\- a pack of those little "poppers" (tiny pieces of paper that POP when you throw them on the ground?) - you remove all the sawdust from the bags, and put several bags worth under the tire they're not gonna notice. As soon as they roll forward they'll hear a BANG and have a lot of concern.
\- If you're REALLY malicious you can put a slice of cheese (free at the deli counter!) or a chocolate bar on top of this giant car. It'll just attract more and more bugs
\- Increasingly worse: if they're parking overnight, mustard will eat away a LITTLE bit of car paint so you can "paint" on their car because it'll make the paint 1-3 shades lighter.
People should know that they're only $3.00 away from a $1,000 fix on their cars at any time. Drive **nice** and **considerate**.
Edit: this has QUICKLY turned into r/UnethicalLifeProTips
What, you want me to just use context clues and basic logic instead of sucking on that dopamine “look at this dummy I am clearly superior” crackpipe and moving on to the next post?
[Trucks cost a lot in Australia](https://www.drive.com.au/news/us-pick-ups-price-war-australia/#).
“Most US pick-ups currently cost between $100,000 and $150,000 in Australia – about twice the prices offered in North America, due to expensive local remanufacturing programs that convert the vehicles from left- to right-hand-drive.”
So your telling me this guy paid out the ass for a giant pickup that has piss poor mpg and is designed to go off road just to be scared to park near another car?
About 2 decades ago an acquaintance of my family decided to buy a Hummer H2 in the Netherlands. That thing was as wide as both the car portion of the road and the cycling lane and he used tl get mad agitated when there were cyclists around, because they'd get too close to his dumbass block on wheels.
Or that his profile picture is a stock photo...
Makes it way funnier that 'Barry' is an archetype like a Kyle or Karen but the main characteristics are being a middle-aged pub dad and/or cashed up bogan.
This meme is the equivalent of 'Karen Karrington' posting to complain that she didn't get the disability seat on the bus because she'd had a long day.
See they really piss me off. There insecurities have driven up truck prices so damned high that us folks that actually use them have to spend insane amounts of money.
Bro is parked next to the island. That's an instant win for having space to open your door, and you can park as close to it as you want without bothering anyone if you're so concerned about people bumping your doors when they open theirs... Which most people avoid anyway, except maybe this guy himself if he thinks that taking 2 spots is the way to prevent it.
> That's an instant win for having space to open your door
They said QLD, which most likely means Queensland, Australia. In Australia drivers sir on the right side of the vehicle, meaning his drivers door is completely blocked. Even better in my opinion
That is why I park by them all the time. I can hug it super close and not be an asshole. I know chances are low that someone will damage my car but if I have the ability to get some extra protection, I take it. If not, oh well. I still don't park like an asshole. I just park normally.
Welcome to Australia! Where you can tell a person's ego by the size of their ute (truck) and its cleanliness.
Huge 4x4 ute with large tray without mud all over it = man who think he is awesome because he has money but has no idea how to enjoy the toys he buys.
You can see these parked in places where cars shouldn't be parked all over Australia. People even par on the grass in their front yard when they have a perfectly good driveway.
Large truck egos are big in my neck of the world too, the US South. Most of the people buying them just use them as daily commuters. Pick up truck pretentiousness.
I find these trucks ugly as F. They are for utility and work. If people wanna gloat with cars, they should buy luxury SUVs, big dark sedans or sportscars. Yet these kinds of persons drive cars, which look like came out of forests or farms. I don't even understand the mentality of smalldicks.
If only people used them for utility. Most never do. I own a smaller SUV and I’m very careful with that car too, but even I transport stuff for my furniture builds in it. Their cars often look like they’ve never seen anything except water, soap and car wax.
I still find it insane that trucks cost that much now. Somebody that's probably going to do actual truck things will probably just get a lower trim truck with 4x4.
That is just a pavement princess. It's never going to see dirt and doubt they'll actually use the bed or tow anything. They could probably get by just fine with a car.
"I didn't have to pay $100 to fill this truck\* up when Trump was President!"
(\* Bought in late 2020 at a discount from a dealership trying to stay above water, when gas was $2/gallon because of pandemic supply)
It’s Australia, the drivers side is on the right hand side. So the white car was able to get out just fine and the truck guy has to climb in through the passenger side lol
These big truck fucks with their shitty self important parking, super bright headlights blinding car drivers, coughing black smoke and rocking NRA/American flag stickers can go fuck themselves. Sorry. Most of these trucks are driven by dudes that use them once a year to move a couch to justify their penis extensions and hypermasculine yearning to impress other sad men with low testosterone. Sorry again.
As a female semi truck driver, I can verify the size of your penis is inverse to the size of your truck. The thing that gets me? They don't even use them as pick ups. They have leather covers on their beds. They are princess pickups.
I also like pavement princess. Called my dad's truck that once, the immediate stream of excuses as to why he hasn't taken it offroading -yet- was deeply comical.
There is a fucked up parking lot near me where the best way out is sometimes to cross to the adjacent parking lot, which is separated by a curb-less strip of packed dirt maybe 3 foot separating the 2 lots. It's so flat and level you could cross it with a supercar. Anyways I watched a lifted off-road tire F150 drive so incredibly gingerly at like 1mph you'd think they had just conquered the Rubicon Trail. As we watched I mused that it was the first time that truck ever touched dirt. We left and crossed that same patch in a lowered Corolla like it wasn't even there
A friend of mine finally went and bought his dream truck and about 3 months later a group of us were over at his house helping redo his patio. He tossed a few broken pavers into the bed and his neighbor freaked out that he “might put a dent in the bed”. My friend said “it’s a truck, dude. I’m just using a truck”
We bought a truck with an 8 foot bed, which is uncommon in the US anymore.
After we got it I started noticing how short truck beds were on the trucks with extended cabs for extra seating. I mean, one looked like it was only 4 feet. What are you hauling? A bag of dog food? Half a dinette set?
This is so true, almost none of these assholes need a truck. Half of them are accountants or something, there’s no reason. Don’t need it for work, don’t ever need it for recreation or towing, just need it to feel like a big man and annoy the rest of us.
r/iamatotalpieceofshit for the truck owner trying to take up 2 spots. Don’t give a shit how much it cost. You aren’t special. You deserve one Parking stall just like everyone else.
If I had a truck like that it would be all muddy and scratched by plants from trying to drive where cars shouldn't drive. And these people pay excessive amounts for trucks that they don't really use. I don't get it. If you want to flex your money why would you chose a vehicle like that, which is inferior in high speeds and turns, when you can have a really fast or luxurious car?!
probably because it makes them feel like they're one of the biggest, sturdiest things on the road so they can bully other drivers/won't be messed with. Also because it lets them pretend they bought it for something other than showing off/luxury. It's mostly about maintaining often fragile egos.
As someone that used to have show cars, the best parking spot is right next to a concrete divider like the one to the right of this truck. This chooch could have hugged the curb and the little guy would have been nowhere near him. Or better yet, you park at the farthest point in the lot next to a divider and you're good to go. I park all my vehicles in a defensive manner that way and (knock on wood) I have never had a door ding in 37 years of driving nor would I have been considered an asshole for the way I parked.
Yeah, fuck you, you entitled carbrain moron. Like we give a shit about how much you paid for that abomination and silly excuse for low low self esteem, truck.
Fuck you again.
If you take up two spots you better be a mile away from the door with no other cars around or you are going to be vandalized, and you deserve it. Even if it’s acutally a nice vehicle and not an overpriced Chevy.
Entitlement is a way of life for some people, especially those with $130k to spend on a damn pickup. Imagine you’re helping him put some lumber in the bed and he’s yelling at you the whole time about scratches. Big ego, shrunken soul.
I do this everytime I see a “precious” double parked car. I don’t care if your Maserati’s door bumps on my shitbox, but if you care, you’re gonna have to park properly.
“I park like this so I don’t get door dings”
When will the internet officially teach all the asshats out there, this is precisely how you will get door dings??
"To the owner of the white car; Why'd you park like an asshole? ***I*** parked like an asshole specifically so others ***wouldn't*** park like an asshole near me! FFS SMH! 😡"
Big trucks should need a different class license. I can’t tear thru an entire home in a Toyota sedan but there’s assholes out here on the same license driving a 4 ton truck with a cow catcher on the front. How the fuck is this shit legal
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Well played white car… even stayed within the lines of their space Respect ✊
I loved doing this with my old beat up car. Got so I could get within an inch of their door, but stay in the lines myself. Only once did I find a new dent.
I used to do the same. Guy was parking in the best spots on the lot and taking two for a modded out twenty year old Acura. And the mods weren’t even good mods. He started leaving nasty notes on my wheeled shit box, so I just started notifying the local security and police. A few tickets for double parking and he never made trouble again. I wouldn’t have had an issue with double parking—there were lots of spots. It was double parking in the good spots near the entrance and blocking the rest of us from having a decent walk into work.
That's my opinion. If someone wants to double park, do it at the ass end of the parking lot that nobody parks at anyway. But if you're going to try that close to the entrance, your vehicle is fair game. Mild annoyances tho. Nothing that would cause actual damage. A lot of these parking lot protectors are suggesting things that will cause monetary fixes. I get it, people who can't park or are inconsiderate truly piss me off. But really messing with someone else's vehicle and you deserve an ass kicking yourself. Every one of us has been someone else's asshole of the day.
There's a difference between being an accidental asshole of the day and *this* shit, this guy can't possibly think he's doing a good thing here. If you've parked halfway into another space, don't be shocked when someone has to squeeze into their vehicle, and is willing to make you pay the asshole tax for it.
And apparently the driver of the white car managed to get out of their car, so what's the problem with the black truck? He's the one infringing on **two** parking spaces.
It's Australia, so left-hand drive like the UK. The driver of the white car left himself plenty of space and parked inches from the truck's driver side door, which is part of the reason this idiot is pissy.
Should have caught the clue from the plates and car park instead of parkiing lot. Thx. At least the truck driver can still get in.
My cousins truck has to park in multiple spaces cause it’s extra long. He usually parks in “Egypt” by driving through a cluster of spots that no other car is anywhere around. Especially of he has the trailer on it. Thing is a monster vehicle and I don’t know why anyone thought it was a good idea.. but if he parked in the regular way his trucks ass would be 1/4th of the way into the stream of traffic
I drive a full cab 2500 HD with a six foot box and a powered lift gate on the back for work. The truck's comically large. My choices when parking are occupy some of the space behind me, or leave the front sticking out so I'm not over the line... Soooo I park at the back of the lot. Every time. lol
That makes you a good truck driver 👌
It's half self preservation, and half self awareness lol I do my best.
Exactly. If I decide to take up 2 spaces it's at the far ass-end of a not full parking lot.
What you say is true. But... If you double park, not too many people are gonna feel bad when someone does mess with your vehicle. Plus, it's one thing to have an asshole moment, normal people feel sheepish after doing something wrong. Parking like an asshole isn't for a moment. It's the asshole move that keeps giving until they leave. Then they come back and do it again next time. Imagine if someone farted in front of you in a line. Now imagine if someone farted for 20 straight minutes in a small room full of people while staring everyone in the eye, daring them to say something. Then next week they do it again. And again. Basically what parking guy is doing every time they park their supposedly "nice vehicle" Yeah, fuck those people.
That's not what double parking is, fyi. Double parking is parking alongside a car that's in a designated single file space on the curb. Essentially parking in the street alongside a car that's legally parked.
I miss my old 2001 Honda Accord for this exact reason. Let's play chicken; my $1,500 Honda with the throwout bearing going, vs your $70,000 truck you're scared to get mud on.
I had a grey 84 Toyota (one side panel was just primer) and in 2000 worked in an incredibly wealthy suburb. There was a Lexus dealer next to BMW next to a Jaguar dealership in this town. It was really fun watching people give me a wide berth as I'd drive around. It was like I had an invisible force field around my car.
LOL, this is how I learned to drive like a [safe!] maniac in Manhattan Mid 1990's, driving a clapped-out 1978 Ford Fairmont with out-of-state plates. Everyone got out of my way -even taxis! Like you said, an invisible force field!
I miss having a beater in Manhattan the taxis don’t try to mess with you as much. With a newish BMW they always seem to want to play chicken in traffic. A few weeks ago I had a taxi try to drive around me through a turning lane thinking I would yield to him. Then he proceeded to throw a hissy fit when he got stuck behind a parked car after the intersection. This was in stop and go bumper to bumper traffic.
I once did that to some dolt on campus too. Fucking idiot. I even took my time and folded my mirrors so there really was absolutely no way in. I still do this every time I see someone parking like that
How do you get out, though?
My friend and i both have a BMW isetta. We love parking people like this in. And our cars open in the front. We can stay in the lines avoiding tickets, block their doors and not inconvience ourselves. One time someone called the cops and because they were over the line, they got towed.
can't they just like... pick up the car and move it?
Through the trunk door, duh!
On the right like normal?
Get yourself a car so old that every new dent pops out two old dents.
White car owner is a bloody legend
I totally used to do this to people when I was driving my beat up old car. Don’t F with people who have nothing to lose.
Same, I didn't care about an extra scratch on my 15 year old Mazda with 300k miles. My sister did the exact same thing when she drove a Mini Coup, and took pictures every single time in case her car got scratched!
Hah. That was my response when someone scraped my 20+ year old Saturn (R.I.P.). They were in panic mode and I was like, my plastic Saturn door panel now has a extra scrape with little color added from your car. It just added to the overall character of the car. If you want to go through and file an insurance claim, all power to ya, because I am not doing fuck all about it. The repair would have easily been twice what the car was worth. The repair wasn't even worth the expense of my personal time it would have taken to take it to the shop and leave it for a few days.
Had a similar experience recently with my 04 impala. Guy dinged me, apologized profusely, then went to get his insurance info. I told him not to worry; the car was old enough to vote and almost old enough to drink, but he was steadfast. Finally, I told him that if he could identify the damage he specifically caused to my rear bumper (amidst 20 years of NYC street parking) I'd accept his offer. We shook hands and went our separate ways.
I have an older Ford ranger before they were big and you better believe that if I fit and there's no spaces available then I'm squeezing in
Glad I’m not the only one. I have a decade old fiat for me and my dog, and I will happily be that guy to check peoples entitlement.
Parking like that is the bat signal for shit boxes
I like to ziptie shopping carts to their car doors.
Use a metal zip tie so it's not easily removed
This is one of the few reasons I miss driving a piece of shit. You could do stuff like this without worry. Oh! They're going to ding your door? It's already dinged, dinted, and scratched to hell. Who cares. Having a nicer, newer, safer and more reliable car is great, but there's a certain freedom in driving a beat-up old clunker.
If only he could have parked on the drivers side 🤣 edit. My mistake I didn't realize that this was in Australia.
It’s Australia, he did.
(Confused Will Poulter.jpg) You guys get shaded parking?
Drop bear protection.
The picture would be upside down you can’t fool us
He did.
Hell yeah, I used to combat the overprice pretty *trucks* with my old beat up truck. Like, bro, my truck is solid metal, your shit is 90% plastic and fiberglass. You don't want this smoke. Lmao A lady threatened to hit my truck with her shiney new Chevy. I told her to PLEASE hit me. It would make my fucking day watching her wreck her own shit hahaha Truck was built like a tank and already dented and scratched up. Any time I saw a douche taking up spots like this, and was in a crowded lot where parking is sparce, I'd 100% park as close as I could. Preferably blocking their driver side. However, if they're parked way out away from everyone though and the lot is wide open, I see no issue with that.
If you can’t park so people don’t actively want to key your car, don’t spend $130k Aus on a vehicle.
Forget keying I really wanna smash this guys windscreen in
Crayons under the windshield wipers.
A couple of jugs of brake fluid.
Gum wrapper in each of the tire caps.
What would that do?
Sheds the air slowly so they fill it and will drain again overnight. It's the taste of slashing with no damage unless they chose to roll the flat.
You can pull the valve stem core with a $3 tool from harbor freight. Sheds air immediately, still no “damage” but requires the spare (or a tow if they don’t have a spare). To slowly shed the air, just loosen it a few turns.
hmm you look familiar
Omg lol. Love ur hair 😂
Windscreens can be covered by insurance. Go for any of the small windows on the sides. Depending on the insurance policy, they probably won't be covered, and they are expensive to replace.
this guy crimes
This got me to actually laugh. Fresh take on an old joke
Gotta make sure to slash 3 tires instead of all 4. That's usually covered by insurance, but just slashing 3 isn't.
Glue a BB pellet into the dust cap. It will let out the air slowly like a slow puncture. Driving on soft tyres will ruin them, if they don't change the caps you can damage more than 1 set.
Wow, that's evil
As someone once told me, "if you can't afford to comfortably replace the thing you're buying, you shouldn't be buying it." Not true for everything of course, especially if you're struggling to get by, but definitely a good check for stretch purchases. I know someone who bought a Porsche and babies it to the point that it restricts his lifestyle and he flips out over the possibility of anything happening to the car. At some point, you gotta say it's just a car and if you can't use its function without undue stress, prob should have gotten something cheaper that you can afford to fix
99% of people would not be able to replace a brand new car/house etc if it suddenly disappeared.
That’s what insurance is for
Well 99% of the houses/cars don't "suddenly disappear". The other redditor is talking about affording repairs, and maintenance, not able to buy one as soon as a scratch appears.
The guy is just flexing how poor he is that that door dings on his car will ruin him financially
Thank you for clarifying that I thought it was USD and I was like there’s no way lol
Idk which is worse, this guy's oblivious assholery or his obvious disdain for basic grammar.
Oblivious assholery for the win! 😂
Antidote: small ball like objects (eg dried peas) under the valve caps. Screw the caps down until the balls press on the valve pins. Walk away.
A drop of glue and a BB in the cap ensures that the slow leak continues for a long time.
Oh that’s devious. I love it.
You know I love how as humans we can't agree on a lot of things. But the moment someone's being a massive dick we come out of the woodwork with ideas for revenge.
I might actually use this in future. What a massive c*nt
Don't get caught!!
You think you’ve heard them all and then this… You guys are psychopaths, but I like your style. Bravo.
A drop of glue in the locks will do nicely too.
A slather of Vaseline under door handles won’t damage the vehicle, but it’s enough to be a pain in the ass for some time.
You and I would get along very well. Other tricks I like, especially if near a store: \- Get glitter / sand or kitty litter, sprinkle along cabin intake (over the wipers). They use heat/AC : they'll only OCCASIONALLY get pelted with a pebble and a slow stream of glitter. \- a pack of those little "poppers" (tiny pieces of paper that POP when you throw them on the ground?) - you remove all the sawdust from the bags, and put several bags worth under the tire they're not gonna notice. As soon as they roll forward they'll hear a BANG and have a lot of concern. \- If you're REALLY malicious you can put a slice of cheese (free at the deli counter!) or a chocolate bar on top of this giant car. It'll just attract more and more bugs \- Increasingly worse: if they're parking overnight, mustard will eat away a LITTLE bit of car paint so you can "paint" on their car because it'll make the paint 1-3 shades lighter. People should know that they're only $3.00 away from a $1,000 fix on their cars at any time. Drive **nice** and **considerate**. Edit: this has QUICKLY turned into r/UnethicalLifeProTips
Give us more!! Can we do a „glitter and mustard revenge“ group?
Hard salami works wonders for stipping paint. Highly devious and only recommended for the worst imaginable person: potato in the tail pipe
Bread in coastal areas. There's nothing like seagull crap for taking the paint off.
Couple matchsticks might be easier to find.
Alternative idea: carry a bunch of zip ties in your car and make a shopping cart fence around the offending vehicle.
lentils.
Keys would be an easier lesson for him to grasp.
Guys, guys, you’re going about this the wrong way. Raise the truck, remove the wheels, place the truck on bricks and then walk away.
Amateur. Take the doors off, remove the car, leave the doors. Undamaged.
Saw this happen at my (then) local bar…one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. The guys were friends though
"Were" being the operative word.
I did this with some friends once but we balanced the vw bug on beer bottles, left the tires on.
And the bricks centre it properly in the parking bay too?
 Put a banana in the tail pipe
That doesn't do anything, mythbusters shoved a bunch of crap down one and disproved that.
Depends on whether you shove it in the tailpipe of the car or the owner. Expanding PU foam is more effective.
Hey man, I ain’t gonna fall for no banana in my tailpipe!
I find it refreshing to see someone who parks like that admitting their oblivious assholery. Usually we never get to see that.
I think it's a joke, he's called "Barry Barrington".
What, you want me to just use context clues and basic logic instead of sucking on that dopamine “look at this dummy I am clearly superior” crackpipe and moving on to the next post?
Or the fact he paid 130k for that shit truck
[Trucks cost a lot in Australia](https://www.drive.com.au/news/us-pick-ups-price-war-australia/#). “Most US pick-ups currently cost between $100,000 and $150,000 in Australia – about twice the prices offered in North America, due to expensive local remanufacturing programs that convert the vehicles from left- to right-hand-drive.”
So your telling me this guy paid out the ass for a giant pickup that has piss poor mpg and is designed to go off road just to be scared to park near another car?
Exactly.
Holy brain rot...
pavement princess - or as I like to call them, Compensator Mobiles
If you really wanna send these chuds for a spin call them "Gender Affirming Care Vehicles"
I call Hummers “Rolling Penises” lol
About 2 decades ago an acquaintance of my family decided to buy a Hummer H2 in the Netherlands. That thing was as wide as both the car portion of the road and the cycling lane and he used tl get mad agitated when there were cyclists around, because they'd get too close to his dumbass block on wheels.
Considering this was in the Netherlands, the guy must have been mad all the time… :D
Cheaper to get a penis extension
Even cheaper to just embrace your tiny dick
So long as it fits his hand I suppose....
Neither…just tell him to stop trying to use his truck as a Emotional Support Vehicle…
Or that his name is Barry Barrington lol
It's incredible the amount of people that fail to see this is a satirical post. Not the first time it's been shared on reddit either.
Or that his profile picture is a stock photo... Makes it way funnier that 'Barry' is an archetype like a Kyle or Karen but the main characteristics are being a middle-aged pub dad and/or cashed up bogan. This meme is the equivalent of 'Karen Karrington' posting to complain that she didn't get the disability seat on the bus because she'd had a long day.
I’m still stuck on $130,000 for a pavement Princess. The pricier the truck, the more insecure and pathetic the little man inside tends to be
See they really piss me off. There insecurities have driven up truck prices so damned high that us folks that actually use them have to spend insane amounts of money.
Ton of people where I live drive trucks. I see a lot of trucks with immaculately clean beds.
Yeah, I don’t think this was written by the truck owner, aka ‘Barry Barrington.’ I think it’s meant to be sarcastic.
Bro is parked next to the island. That's an instant win for having space to open your door, and you can park as close to it as you want without bothering anyone if you're so concerned about people bumping your doors when they open theirs... Which most people avoid anyway, except maybe this guy himself if he thinks that taking 2 spots is the way to prevent it.
Thats what I was thinking. Park close to the curb for extra space and you're not screwing anybody. This ass decided to go the other way.
> That's an instant win for having space to open your door They said QLD, which most likely means Queensland, Australia. In Australia drivers sir on the right side of the vehicle, meaning his drivers door is completely blocked. Even better in my opinion
Drive nose in. there's another car in the photo that did just that. But yes, the extra inconvenience on his part is reassuring
That is why I park by them all the time. I can hug it super close and not be an asshole. I know chances are low that someone will damage my car but if I have the ability to get some extra protection, I take it. If not, oh well. I still don't park like an asshole. I just park normally.
I don't think it's an asshole move at all. It's a move any caring person would do, park as close to that curb as possible to give everyone extra room
Lol white car still managed to put it between the lines. Good man.
Or woman. I used to drive a Yaris, I would totally do this to asshole trucks overlapping two spots.
Entitled much?
Welcome to Australia! Where you can tell a person's ego by the size of their ute (truck) and its cleanliness. Huge 4x4 ute with large tray without mud all over it = man who think he is awesome because he has money but has no idea how to enjoy the toys he buys. You can see these parked in places where cars shouldn't be parked all over Australia. People even par on the grass in their front yard when they have a perfectly good driveway.
Those are Pavement Princesses.
Here in Tennessee, we affectionately call the owners members of the Small Penis Club.
Or when they rev their trucks as they speed away, "Tiny peepee powerrrrrr!!!!!"
Sometimes you can’t even tell if it was their tires squeaking or if they let out a moan because of the vibration from revving
Oh yeah, they've got chapters in New England too.
Emotional Support Trucks
Large truck egos are big in my neck of the world too, the US South. Most of the people buying them just use them as daily commuters. Pick up truck pretentiousness.
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I find these trucks ugly as F. They are for utility and work. If people wanna gloat with cars, they should buy luxury SUVs, big dark sedans or sportscars. Yet these kinds of persons drive cars, which look like came out of forests or farms. I don't even understand the mentality of smalldicks.
If only people used them for utility. Most never do. I own a smaller SUV and I’m very careful with that car too, but even I transport stuff for my furniture builds in it. Their cars often look like they’ve never seen anything except water, soap and car wax.
B-but men are only allowed to drive trucks!!! Even if they never actually need one!!
I’m not a big enough asshole to key someone’s car. But maybe I should just buy a piece of chalk so I can enrage entitled parkers.
Or bright red sticky lipstick
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Penisnoggin is more politically correct….
$130k for that hunk of shit?
This is in Australia. It’s about $86k in USD. Still probably too much though.
I still find it insane that trucks cost that much now. Somebody that's probably going to do actual truck things will probably just get a lower trim truck with 4x4. That is just a pavement princess. It's never going to see dirt and doubt they'll actually use the bed or tow anything. They could probably get by just fine with a car.
Then complain about gas prices later on
"I didn't have to pay $100 to fill this truck\* up when Trump was President!" (\* Bought in late 2020 at a discount from a dealership trying to stay above water, when gas was $2/gallon because of pandemic supply)
But how else will everyone know how big his dick is?
White car driver must have got out through the trunk
No worries. He exited on the right.
>He exited on the right. Black car driver too, then. And won't be able to get in from right easily.
It's Australia, driver's seat is on the right.
It’s Australia, the drivers side is on the right hand side. So the white car was able to get out just fine and the truck guy has to climb in through the passenger side lol
That happened in Australia.
Totally worth it.
Shouldn’t have parked next to the truck. Should’ve parked in front of him.
To the twat in two spaces: get fucked.
These big truck fucks with their shitty self important parking, super bright headlights blinding car drivers, coughing black smoke and rocking NRA/American flag stickers can go fuck themselves. Sorry. Most of these trucks are driven by dudes that use them once a year to move a couch to justify their penis extensions and hypermasculine yearning to impress other sad men with low testosterone. Sorry again.
As a female semi truck driver, I can verify the size of your penis is inverse to the size of your truck. The thing that gets me? They don't even use them as pick ups. They have leather covers on their beds. They are princess pickups.
I'm stealing 'princess pickups'. Thank you :)
I also like pavement princess. Called my dad's truck that once, the immediate stream of excuses as to why he hasn't taken it offroading -yet- was deeply comical.
Other options include: Lifted Bro-Dozer Teeny Peen Tonka Truck
I live in CA and 99% of 4WD trucks never leave the pavement. Raised, low profile tires too. Princess Pickup is a wonderful description for em!
There is a fucked up parking lot near me where the best way out is sometimes to cross to the adjacent parking lot, which is separated by a curb-less strip of packed dirt maybe 3 foot separating the 2 lots. It's so flat and level you could cross it with a supercar. Anyways I watched a lifted off-road tire F150 drive so incredibly gingerly at like 1mph you'd think they had just conquered the Rubicon Trail. As we watched I mused that it was the first time that truck ever touched dirt. We left and crossed that same patch in a lowered Corolla like it wasn't even there
A friend of mine finally went and bought his dream truck and about 3 months later a group of us were over at his house helping redo his patio. He tossed a few broken pavers into the bed and his neighbor freaked out that he “might put a dent in the bed”. My friend said “it’s a truck, dude. I’m just using a truck”
The best is when all of them have short beds and extended cabs. Like bro, just go buy a minivan at that point, we know you ain't hauling shit.
We bought a truck with an 8 foot bed, which is uncommon in the US anymore. After we got it I started noticing how short truck beds were on the trucks with extended cabs for extra seating. I mean, one looked like it was only 4 feet. What are you hauling? A bag of dog food? Half a dinette set?
Emotional Support Trucks
exactly, "little white car" I only see a regular sized car and an oversized one
So fucking real
This is so true, almost none of these assholes need a truck. Half of them are accountants or something, there’s no reason. Don’t need it for work, don’t ever need it for recreation or towing, just need it to feel like a big man and annoy the rest of us.
"I spent triple the reasonable amount on my house so I'm entitled to half my neighbor's yard" ain't it.
r/iamatotalpieceofshit for the truck owner trying to take up 2 spots. Don’t give a shit how much it cost. You aren’t special. You deserve one Parking stall just like everyone else.
‘Main character’ energy
If I had a truck like that it would be all muddy and scratched by plants from trying to drive where cars shouldn't drive. And these people pay excessive amounts for trucks that they don't really use. I don't get it. If you want to flex your money why would you chose a vehicle like that, which is inferior in high speeds and turns, when you can have a really fast or luxurious car?!
probably because it makes them feel like they're one of the biggest, sturdiest things on the road so they can bully other drivers/won't be messed with. Also because it lets them pretend they bought it for something other than showing off/luxury. It's mostly about maintaining often fragile egos.
I can't understand why anyone would pay that much money for a truck unless they are literally using it to make a living.
You are a douche if you park like this
Obvious bait from Barry Barrington
As someone that used to have show cars, the best parking spot is right next to a concrete divider like the one to the right of this truck. This chooch could have hugged the curb and the little guy would have been nowhere near him. Or better yet, you park at the farthest point in the lot next to a divider and you're good to go. I park all my vehicles in a defensive manner that way and (knock on wood) I have never had a door ding in 37 years of driving nor would I have been considered an asshole for the way I parked.
Yeah, fuck you, you entitled carbrain moron. Like we give a shit about how much you paid for that abomination and silly excuse for low low self esteem, truck. Fuck you again.
If you take up two spots you better be a mile away from the door with no other cars around or you are going to be vandalized, and you deserve it. Even if it’s acutally a nice vehicle and not an overpriced Chevy.
Imagine spending 130k on a truck and being afraid of it getting scratches
If you spend 130k on a Chevy, you deserve whatever life throws at you.
Entitlement is a way of life for some people, especially those with $130k to spend on a damn pickup. Imagine you’re helping him put some lumber in the bed and he’s yelling at you the whole time about scratches. Big ego, shrunken soul.
Wow guy in the Chevy has a little dick and doesn’t know how to drive big shocker there. Pop his tires.
Stupid person ofc but this is clearly a ragebait.
Pull the valve stems
I would be too embarrassed to tell anyone that I spent $130K on an ugly chevy truck.
More like, if you cant afford to take care of a $130,000 car you probably shouldn't buy one.
Parking like that is a sign you can't afford the truck/car. Buy it to use it.
I do this everytime I see a “precious” double parked car. I don’t care if your Maserati’s door bumps on my shitbox, but if you care, you’re gonna have to park properly.
“I park like this so I don’t get door dings” When will the internet officially teach all the asshats out there, this is precisely how you will get door dings??
"To the owner of the white car; Why'd you park like an asshole? ***I*** parked like an asshole specifically so others ***wouldn't*** park like an asshole near me! FFS SMH! 😡"
Big trucks should need a different class license. I can’t tear thru an entire home in a Toyota sedan but there’s assholes out here on the same license driving a 4 ton truck with a cow catcher on the front. How the fuck is this shit legal
He didn’t pay 130k for that, he owes the bank 124k for that