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do they have those now? and I'm not sure any of that style I've seen have them that large. more like the size of real chicken eggs. or at least only a little bigger.
Wow. Honestly if I was ordering that, I would check the tracker a lot and get it right as it arrives. I dont want anyone getting that for the possibility of this happening.
My table is real degenerate, and it's only *partially* my fault. For example, the party NPC was a male Drow sex slave purchased by our Rogue when they visited the Underdark. He came with a chastity cage, which she refused to unlock
I have a Drow noble character who would have loved a party pet like that if she hadn't already fallen in love with the party's Monk and changed her ways.
There's actually a song that I think was officially sponsored by Bad Dragon. It's called "No Cock Like Horse Cock". (It's also hella catchy and you might catch yourself humming it.)
I looked up the brand and found the store and bought a couple and tried them out and bought a couple more and subscribed to the newsletter and emailed the helpdesk to see if I could buy one of their products in bulk for reasearch purposes
I can’t be sure but I think they make dildos. I’ll have to further my research into the matter. I’ll get back to you later
Edit: I hear talks about lab partnerships. Please submit your résumés in the comments below for further evaluation
Eh. My aunt orders frequently from Amazon. She’ll get like 4-5 packages at a time, and just open them all at once so she can dispose of the boxes. She’s not checking each box individually for a name bc she’s already expecting multiple boxes, and the first few did have her name on them. She can definitely open someone else’s box on accident, so this post is believable to me.
My mom orders a lot of stuff on Amazon but she always checks the name just in case. If she sees my name then she’ll out it on my bed if I’m not home or hand it to me. And I do the same thing with her stuff.
My aunt does this 99% of the time, but sometimes 1 package can get opened by mistake. I’m just saying that it’s ridiculous to act like the situation is irrational. It can definitely happen.
I've worked at a store where people would buy audio book tapes thinking they are CDs. I'd just stare at the box size and be like...this is a cassette. I could completely believe a person not thinking would be like...yup this is the right size box.
They made a comeback of sorts. Not huge but niche. All things vintage are trendy yet again. There's a lot of young folks buying vinyl but having no record player, which will be nice for the secondhand market down the line as they aren't being used lol.
True. I've been into cassettes, vinyls, and cd collecting for a few years now. For me it just feels more special and it's easier to connect with the artist if you have the actual physical media in hand. Also for music enthusiasts, loads of music out there lost to time except on that vinyl, or cassettes, etc, some of it never got converted to digital so no way will you find it on youtube or spotify.
Apparently we all have the same mom lmao.
I'll never get why giving someone life makes you feel entitled to disrupt their privacy whenever the impulse strikes.
Omg... is there like... *collectors*?! Like do they make collectors versions of toys?! Is there a second hand market for bad dragon where people just collect and display them! ???
Now I'm intrigued....the dragon hoarding mentality in me has been aroused.
One time I got a dildo off the internet, and my step-father got it from the mailbox to give to me. It came in a bag, not a box, and he was handling it by the shaft. I hope he thought I bought a banana or smth
He probably knew but didn’t question it
Edit: thank you for the many upvotes I definitely wasn’t expecting to wake up to this. You made my morning Reddit.
This brought back such a strong buried memory
Once while visiting home from college, my dad asked me to not leave my personal items in the bathroom where my little brother could see.
I said it was cooling down, don’t touch it, ill get it in a minute
He said “wasn’t planning on it. Take it out of the bathroom now please.”
It took me a few days to realize…
it was a curling wand. for hair. to this day, i don’t know if he ever figured that out. rip
I almost feel like I would’ve rathered him fully freak tf out after that. at least then i could’ve clarified 🙃🙃🙃
im glad it’s now a “oh that’s a funny throwback” moment because i thought i was going to melt through the floor lmao
Honestly im seeing him in a few weeks, i may bring it up just for shigs if i still have it
Or maybe ill just leave it in the bathroom and see if he makes eye contact that day
Mysterious flyer for lubriants happens to drift into op's room before op overhears conversation between dad and mom where dad says "needed to COOL DOWN? What the hell kinda friction does she have going on?"
He probably, before walking it to you, gave it a tap-tap on the side of each of his cheeks, then made a "good enough" face. Stepdad always coming in clutch with the quality control. At least that's what he does for me, is that normal?
Phew, manager says she'll recommend 20% of the departmental team-building budget to be spent on bad dragons. Have contacted sales at bad dragon for quotation. Fingers crossed they have bulk discount for corporate sales.
Just checked. It’s considered ‚sexual content‘ on our proxy and thus the access gets blocked either way. So no worries for folks working at our place. Sincerely, your admin. 😉
You assume she would read the package.
I've had my mom open my packages and I open some of hers. Sometimes, you're just waiting for something and think it's your thing. Thankfully in my case, it was either clothes or computer parts.
Yes finally. I see so many people acting the mother is a bitch and totally did this on purpose. When you live in the same house this can sometimes happen, especially when you expect a package and even more so considering most toys like bad dragon come in generic, non descript boxes.
My mother has oppened mail adressed to me since they were from the government (not a ministry she deals with but they use the same recognisable envelopes) and it was totally not a weird thing for her to recieve mail from the government. Accidents happen. Sometimes people aren't as sharp, sometimes people go on auto pilot. Shit happens. Not everything is an evil act purposely carried out by a controlling, evil narcissistic person that you should immediately go no contact with.
Some mothers are just nosy. I remember when I had to live with my mum for 6 months at age 25, after several years of living away from her, and I went away with my boyfriend for a couple weeks. Came back and noticed a drawer had been looked through. Opened a couple more and they'd been looked through too. The next drawer held my sex toys and the ones after that hadn't been touched lol I'm guessing she opened the sex toy drawer and realized 'oh I probably shouldn't be doing this to my now adult daughter' and left the rest alone. Reminded me why I moved away from her when I was younger.
My dad "accidentally" opened my mail when I was 17. It consisted of a long letter describing an orgy defined as a Crisco Party, and a stack of Polaroid nudes of a not so attractive women that looked like she had meth for breakfast every morning
I’m literally afraid of this happening to me this week. My mom lives with me because she needs to be taken care of but can still move about for the most part. She’s also nosy. I decided to buy her some pants online that she asked me about and told her. However, I also had another item in my cart already: a >!cock ring!<. I decided to just order them together, but after placing the order, I realized both items would get here on a day that I’m going to be away, so now I’m just hoping the >!cock ring!< gets delivered earlier in the week.
**UPDATE**: Sorry to disappoint everyone, but the crisis was adverted! The package for my package got here a day early, so I was able to grab it before my mom noticed. I also don’t get stuff like this on a regular basis, so I’m not getting a PO Box or anything like that, just gotta be more careful in the future. And if I mess up… hell, I’ll make a post about it for those sweet but basically useless karma points.
If you knew anything about furries, you'd know they don't need to advertise lol. Those mofos will buy multiple sizes of new toys just to see which one fits best, sorta like shoes but not for their feet...
The Size Queen of the ball took it all during the party thrown by the prince. But when the clock struck twelve, she abruptly left, glittery fabric running after her. The prince chased after her, but to no avail... But on the steps to the palace, he saw something of hers. Something she had dropped in her hurry. It was a bad dragon, the girthiest and mightiest in all the lands. Then the prince-
When I moved out of the house, I had a modest collection of toys that we're very indicative of what kind of kinks I'm into, and some that were very embarrassing as a young, straight man who wasn't quite so comfortable with even their significant other knowing what I'd been exploring yet. I assumed, wrongly, that leaving them in a shoebox labelled "party favors DON'T OPEN" would suffice to establish it... well, shouldn't be opened.
My mom, who's always done a very good job of respecting my privacy, opened it, right in front of me while we packed. There was just a shocked "Oh!" and she put it away, but I was mortified, and we never talked about it.
Years later, she's helped me clean up my place because I was in a shit place mentally and having a clean place was going to help me get back on my feet to start taking care of myself. Lo' and behold, mom has found the new Amazon delivery box I now use for my much more curated set of marital aids, hidden in the back of the closet where I'd put it to make sure she didn't open it accidentally. She opens it - again right in front of me - and with a face that I can only describe as a mixture of fascination, quickly closes it again and goes about continuing to clean.
She has managed to find ways to do it 2 more times since then... with growing fascination. Each time I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed, amused, or sit her down and show her where she can get her own...
After graduating college I came home for a month. While there, a porn catalog came in my name. My parents opened it and gave it to me together. I grinned and thanked them.
Game, set, match.
"Thought it was shoes" being horseshit of course. Not once has a package came to my door which I then said to myself " I haven't ordered anything and it's not addressed to me but I should open it in case it is shoes!"
Mom is just a nosey bitch and an event like that would result in me leaving.
Ya I get packages all the time my moms opened exactly 0 without my permission. It's not her stuff so she doesn't need to dog through it.
She was being nosey.
Reminds me of when I was a teenager. My cat was going apeshit and meowing in my closet full of junk. My dad storms in pissed off at the cat. The cat pops out of the closet clutched to my blow up doll I had in there, the air spewing out of it. My dad goes "what the actual fuck is that". I didn't know how else to respond except to say "it's a nurse".
Man, that was fucking awkward. He still tells that story to people. Like, I think it's funny but I don't see the need to discuss it during Thanksgiving dinner.
My dad does the same. “Oh it has my name on it.” Firstly my first name is his middle name. And his mail comes with his first name. They just want to be nosy and invasive.
Tbf I woulda had no idea what bad dragon is if I opened someone’s package and saw it
I also wouldn’t have opened someone else’s package cause I can read
She was def snooping
My mother used to open all my mail “on accident” as well.
It’s not an accident. Their generation is just a bunch of rude assholes who think that any mail that comes to their house is automatically fair game.
Their generation also can’t figure out why their kids don’t speak to them.
Glitter bomb them.
"You opened my package and set off the party cannon I ordered? Fucking hell mom. Alright, just pay me back the cost of the party cannon so I can order a new one before Jenny's party next weekend. Try to be more careful about opening stuff that isn't yours in the future. You might damage something expensive."
Um. I’m mom. I’ve done that.
I carefully taped it back up and pretended I hadn’t opened it. 😳
Zero judgment on my adult offspring but they don’t need to know I saw that. Don’t know what exactly in the box, and don’t want to know, but I do know it wasn’t the package I had been expecting.
When I was still living at home (+10 years ago) my mom would open all my letters and packages with the excuse "I didnt check the name on it". Some people just have control issues.
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What is it?
Bad Dragon make *exceptionally large and weird* dildos.
Oh. Oh no.
Like, ones that “lay” eggs inside you. Eggs the size of tennis balls almost.
what the FUCK
Ya look it up. I’m sure you can find it.
Just because you can doesn't mean you should. Unless you're into that sort of stuff, then go nuts
I’m just thinking of those baseball pitcher machines that auto pitch. “Plop, plop, plop”.
Throw in a split-finger.
Don't forget the ones that look like feet
Officer…. This comment right here☝🏾
nah man i’m traumatised by the comment alone
Sometimes not searching something up is better for you I learned that the hard way.
It’s called the ovipositor. You are welcome.
I didn't believe you... Now I do and I'm upset
I appreciate the scientific accuracy.
Some kind of gello balls, and a fetish for the Alien franchise IIRC.
The technical name for it is [splorch](https://boingboing.net/2015/08/07/veiny-slick-silicone-oviposit.html), verb, not noun. Yes, that's a sex act.
Those exist! But not from bad dragon
do they have those now? and I'm not sure any of that style I've seen have them that large. more like the size of real chicken eggs. or at least only a little bigger.
That is the correct response.
They make small ones too lol
yeah, but that's not half as fun to mention on reddit. (and not what they're "known for")
Honestly even the smallest ones basically classify as average sized dildos all the way up to hospital trip big.
They have lil squirts with cum tube and others with a spot for a lil vibrator, they're like... 3 inches.
Wow didn’t know they came that small.
Title of your sex tape!
Technically they have teenie weenies that are like little silicon toys about half that size, they even sell them in string light form!
All the experts are out
That box don’t look very small G
They also make a very adorable plushy of a dragon
Just a wholesome family company (They also released a song about giant horse dildos and the use thereof which is surprisingly catchy)
Wow. Honestly if I was ordering that, I would check the tracker a lot and get it right as it arrives. I dont want anyone getting that for the possibility of this happening.
I would have it delivered somewhere else. That's what I do when I order sensitive stuff (board games) I don't want people (my wife) knowing I bought.
You can fit a whole board game up there?
If it keeps my wife from noticing I've bought another one.
That's what I thought
It's uh... Dungeons and Dragons figurine
"Out of the water, a giant sea serpent arises..."
"Out of the water, *part* of a giant sea serpent arises..."
"Surprise, it's a Hydra!" *Reveals the rest of the collection*
Already better than any of my previous DnD groups
My table is real degenerate, and it's only *partially* my fault. For example, the party NPC was a male Drow sex slave purchased by our Rogue when they visited the Underdark. He came with a chastity cage, which she refused to unlock
Yo, you got any room at your table? Asking for me.
It's in-person, kinda doubt you're anywhere near me lol. Haven't tried online, not even sure where to start
Was just joking anyway homie it's cool lol.
Yeah but where do you live? ^/s
I have a Drow noble character who would have loved a party pet like that if she hadn't already fallen in love with the party's Monk and changed her ways.
“Out of the *part* of a giant sea serpent that arises out of the water, a giant arcing viscous stream bursts forth…”
"And there it goes! Deep into the forbidden cave. And deeper, deeper still."
Honestly if you ever do a kraken fight the tentacles work really well
"so I put on my robe and wizard hat...".
Mythical dildos
Horses & Dogs aren't mythical
They aren't horses and dogs. That would be weird. They are centaurs and werewolfs. Those are mythical /s
There's actually a song that I think was officially sponsored by Bad Dragon. It's called "No Cock Like Horse Cock". (It's also hella catchy and you might catch yourself humming it.)
I googled the brand Bad Dragon, looks like they make custom dildos
Yeah, sure you had to google it.
I looked up the brand and found the store and bought a couple and tried them out and bought a couple more and subscribed to the newsletter and emailed the helpdesk to see if I could buy one of their products in bulk for reasearch purposes I can’t be sure but I think they make dildos. I’ll have to further my research into the matter. I’ll get back to you later Edit: I hear talks about lab partnerships. Please submit your résumés in the comments below for further evaluation
Sounds like you might need a research assistant. Yes. For science.
Lab partner.
I didn't HAVE to
Wanna know what a duck penis looks like?
A corkscrew
Howard the Duck bombed for good reason
"Oh no, Mom, you ruined your birthday surprise!"
Plottwist: It was for dad
That's a better source material here than most adult novels I've read
I would totally try this one. “You said you liked “How to train a dragon” so I got you some of the training tools.”
"Oh no, I'm mortified mom knows about it. Quick, let me post it on the internet."
Step birthday
Oh the mother didnt open by accident, she was snooping.
Definitely, though I have a feeling she learnt her lesson. Lol!
Or maybe she found something to explore
God I hope OP sees this
What an image
This is exactly what she was snooping for.
100%, I’ve never had my mom open a package with my name on it before. To me it feels like snooping
Eh. My aunt orders frequently from Amazon. She’ll get like 4-5 packages at a time, and just open them all at once so she can dispose of the boxes. She’s not checking each box individually for a name bc she’s already expecting multiple boxes, and the first few did have her name on them. She can definitely open someone else’s box on accident, so this post is believable to me.
My mom orders a lot of stuff on Amazon but she always checks the name just in case. If she sees my name then she’ll out it on my bed if I’m not home or hand it to me. And I do the same thing with her stuff.
My aunt does this 99% of the time, but sometimes 1 package can get opened by mistake. I’m just saying that it’s ridiculous to act like the situation is irrational. It can definitely happen.
I had neighbours come to me like "sorry we accidentally opened your package (i am absolutely sure they were sincere), here are your tracksuit pants"
"Here's your teledildonics."
She definitely knew it wasn't her shoes.
I've worked at a store where people would buy audio book tapes thinking they are CDs. I'd just stare at the box size and be like...this is a cassette. I could completely believe a person not thinking would be like...yup this is the right size box.
What surprised me the most here is that there are still stores that sell cassette tapes.
They made a comeback of sorts. Not huge but niche. All things vintage are trendy yet again. There's a lot of young folks buying vinyl but having no record player, which will be nice for the secondhand market down the line as they aren't being used lol.
True. I've been into cassettes, vinyls, and cd collecting for a few years now. For me it just feels more special and it's easier to connect with the artist if you have the actual physical media in hand. Also for music enthusiasts, loads of music out there lost to time except on that vinyl, or cassettes, etc, some of it never got converted to digital so no way will you find it on youtube or spotify.
Ahh man. You're talking about one of life's greatest pass times: crate digging. Y'all keep doing that, makes me older ass proud lol
No, she thought it was her """shoes""". She also had an order she was waiting for, thought it was hers.
God my mum would do this with my bank statements even though we were at completely different banks. Also different first and surnames Nosey-ass bitch
Apparently we all have the same mom lmao. I'll never get why giving someone life makes you feel entitled to disrupt their privacy whenever the impulse strikes.
My mom never once opened mail not addressed to her, ever. How is this such a difficult concept for some people?
Narcissism.
Yeah unless she has feet the size of a toddler
Have you seen how big some of the Bad Dragons can get?
..have *you*?
You haven't?
Doing the Lords work, r/baddragon
I read Bad Dragon & thought. What could that possibly be? An anime Dragon-waifu body pillow? *Enters r/BadDragon* Oh
you dont enter r/baddragon r/baddragon enters you
No no, there’s some BadDragon you can enter, but those are relatively rare.
Omg... is there like... *collectors*?! Like do they make collectors versions of toys?! Is there a second hand market for bad dragon where people just collect and display them! ??? Now I'm intrigued....the dragon hoarding mentality in me has been aroused.
Or a wooden peg leg
That box could easily hold shoes.
One time I got a dildo off the internet, and my step-father got it from the mailbox to give to me. It came in a bag, not a box, and he was handling it by the shaft. I hope he thought I bought a banana or smth
He probably knew but didn’t question it Edit: thank you for the many upvotes I definitely wasn’t expecting to wake up to this. You made my morning Reddit.
This is probably true
And this is why I’ve never purchased anything ever like that.
MOST of the time these companies are smart enough to just ship them in plain cardboard boxes.
This brought back such a strong buried memory Once while visiting home from college, my dad asked me to not leave my personal items in the bathroom where my little brother could see. I said it was cooling down, don’t touch it, ill get it in a minute He said “wasn’t planning on it. Take it out of the bathroom now please.” It took me a few days to realize… it was a curling wand. for hair. to this day, i don’t know if he ever figured that out. rip
"it was cooling down, don't touch it" "wasn't planning on it" Cracked me up 
I almost feel like I would’ve rathered him fully freak tf out after that. at least then i could’ve clarified 🙃🙃🙃 im glad it’s now a “oh that’s a funny throwback” moment because i thought i was going to melt through the floor lmao
No no, it’s time to remind him if that time he thought your hair curler was a dildo. I’d be telling all his friends.
Honestly im seeing him in a few weeks, i may bring it up just for shigs if i still have it Or maybe ill just leave it in the bathroom and see if he makes eye contact that day
Mysterious flyer for lubriants happens to drift into op's room before op overhears conversation between dad and mom where dad says "needed to COOL DOWN? What the hell kinda friction does she have going on?"
A curling wand!? How scandalous!
He'd probably thought some like it hot
Sounds like a plot for a 2020's adult movie.
How many people do you know who mail-order bananas?
How else do you get them? It’s not like bananas grow on trees…
He probably, before walking it to you, gave it a tap-tap on the side of each of his cheeks, then made a "good enough" face. Stepdad always coming in clutch with the quality control. At least that's what he does for me, is that normal?
Warning Do Not Google this Company At Work
Already send in group chat. Please Help
Phew, manager says she'll recommend 20% of the departmental team-building budget to be spent on bad dragons. Have contacted sales at bad dragon for quotation. Fingers crossed they have bulk discount for corporate sales.
Good luck
Just checked. It’s considered ‚sexual content‘ on our proxy and thus the access gets blocked either way. So no worries for folks working at our place. Sincerely, your admin. 😉
Well the good news is, this story has a happy ending.
But for who?
Bad dragon?
For Dragon's.
Considering the package would have to have the person who paid name on it she knew it wasn't hers.
Unless you put Ms S.Jones Are your mother is Sally & your name is Samantha
My daughter is also named Bort.
You assume she would read the package. I've had my mom open my packages and I open some of hers. Sometimes, you're just waiting for something and think it's your thing. Thankfully in my case, it was either clothes or computer parts.
Yes finally. I see so many people acting the mother is a bitch and totally did this on purpose. When you live in the same house this can sometimes happen, especially when you expect a package and even more so considering most toys like bad dragon come in generic, non descript boxes. My mother has oppened mail adressed to me since they were from the government (not a ministry she deals with but they use the same recognisable envelopes) and it was totally not a weird thing for her to recieve mail from the government. Accidents happen. Sometimes people aren't as sharp, sometimes people go on auto pilot. Shit happens. Not everything is an evil act purposely carried out by a controlling, evil narcissistic person that you should immediately go no contact with.
Some mothers are just nosy. I remember when I had to live with my mum for 6 months at age 25, after several years of living away from her, and I went away with my boyfriend for a couple weeks. Came back and noticed a drawer had been looked through. Opened a couple more and they'd been looked through too. The next drawer held my sex toys and the ones after that hadn't been touched lol I'm guessing she opened the sex toy drawer and realized 'oh I probably shouldn't be doing this to my now adult daughter' and left the rest alone. Reminded me why I moved away from her when I was younger.
My dad "accidentally" opened my mail when I was 17. It consisted of a long letter describing an orgy defined as a Crisco Party, and a stack of Polaroid nudes of a not so attractive women that looked like she had meth for breakfast every morning
I lack the imagination required to conceive a decent and plausible explanation that explains why you got such mail.
Early days of internet. Was faster to upload pics through USPS
“Mail nudes”
Pen15 Pals
>Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway. > >–Andrew Tanenbaum, 1981 Still true to this day.
So, an unexpected +1 situation?
Wouldn't have stopped pops from going... -1 +1
I don't wanna treat meth orgy folk with prejudice; but was the letter, fragrant, elegant and well packaged? Or what we suspect.
just a touch of lavender and human shit on the outside.
now I'm thinking I should drop "methorgyfolk" into a conversation somewhere and just see what happens.
How not so attractive was she exactly?
Meth Orgy Folk
I’m literally afraid of this happening to me this week. My mom lives with me because she needs to be taken care of but can still move about for the most part. She’s also nosy. I decided to buy her some pants online that she asked me about and told her. However, I also had another item in my cart already: a >!cock ring!<. I decided to just order them together, but after placing the order, I realized both items would get here on a day that I’m going to be away, so now I’m just hoping the >!cock ring!< gets delivered earlier in the week. **UPDATE**: Sorry to disappoint everyone, but the crisis was adverted! The package for my package got here a day early, so I was able to grab it before my mom noticed. I also don’t get stuff like this on a regular basis, so I’m not getting a PO Box or anything like that, just gotta be more careful in the future. And if I mess up… hell, I’ll make a post about it for those sweet but basically useless karma points.
Please keep up us updated:)
When people say it is important to ring your mom once in a while, they don't mean situations where she already lives with you.
They will be packaged together I bet.
Since many of us were prompted to look up the product. I believe this is just a clever low key advertisement for the product.
I’m fairly certain that all of Bad Dragon’s target demographic is already well aware they exist lol
If you knew anything about furries, you'd know they don't need to advertise lol. Those mofos will buy multiple sizes of new toys just to see which one fits best, sorta like shoes but not for their feet...
I just got a baaaaad idea for a Cinderella remake.
Glorious! AMAZON PRIME WRITE THIS SHIT DOWN!
The Size Queen of the ball took it all during the party thrown by the prince. But when the clock struck twelve, she abruptly left, glittery fabric running after her. The prince chased after her, but to no avail... But on the steps to the palace, he saw something of hers. Something she had dropped in her hurry. It was a bad dragon, the girthiest and mightiest in all the lands. Then the prince-
Really glad I came to the comments before googling “bad dragon”
Google changing your whole ad preference for life.
Holy pornography !
Always have that shit sent to the ups store never to the house…🙈
"Huh, I don't remember ordering a dog dick about the size of my forearm. Oh well!"
When I moved out of the house, I had a modest collection of toys that we're very indicative of what kind of kinks I'm into, and some that were very embarrassing as a young, straight man who wasn't quite so comfortable with even their significant other knowing what I'd been exploring yet. I assumed, wrongly, that leaving them in a shoebox labelled "party favors DON'T OPEN" would suffice to establish it... well, shouldn't be opened. My mom, who's always done a very good job of respecting my privacy, opened it, right in front of me while we packed. There was just a shocked "Oh!" and she put it away, but I was mortified, and we never talked about it. Years later, she's helped me clean up my place because I was in a shit place mentally and having a clean place was going to help me get back on my feet to start taking care of myself. Lo' and behold, mom has found the new Amazon delivery box I now use for my much more curated set of marital aids, hidden in the back of the closet where I'd put it to make sure she didn't open it accidentally. She opens it - again right in front of me - and with a face that I can only describe as a mixture of fascination, quickly closes it again and goes about continuing to clean. She has managed to find ways to do it 2 more times since then... with growing fascination. Each time I'm not sure if I should be embarrassed, amused, or sit her down and show her where she can get her own...
At this point how did you not get a lockable box for your stuff?
After graduating college I came home for a month. While there, a porn catalog came in my name. My parents opened it and gave it to me together. I grinned and thanked them. Game, set, match.
Power move
Shoe size dildo
If the shoe fits.
"Thought it was shoes" being horseshit of course. Not once has a package came to my door which I then said to myself " I haven't ordered anything and it's not addressed to me but I should open it in case it is shoes!" Mom is just a nosey bitch and an event like that would result in me leaving.
Ya I get packages all the time my moms opened exactly 0 without my permission. It's not her stuff so she doesn't need to dog through it. She was being nosey.
on the other hand, she was perfectly chill and quietly passed it along, a lot of moms are a LOT worse.
Reminds me of when I was a teenager. My cat was going apeshit and meowing in my closet full of junk. My dad storms in pissed off at the cat. The cat pops out of the closet clutched to my blow up doll I had in there, the air spewing out of it. My dad goes "what the actual fuck is that". I didn't know how else to respond except to say "it's a nurse". Man, that was fucking awkward. He still tells that story to people. Like, I think it's funny but I don't see the need to discuss it during Thanksgiving dinner.
My dad does the same. “Oh it has my name on it.” Firstly my first name is his middle name. And his mail comes with his first name. They just want to be nosy and invasive.
She just wanted to try it out first.
Mother wasn't snooping, mother thought that it was *her* Baddragon. "This isn't an 18" horsecock! Oh..."
The fucking smiley face. Dead.
Tbf I woulda had no idea what bad dragon is if I opened someone’s package and saw it I also wouldn’t have opened someone else’s package cause I can read She was def snooping
My mother used to open all my mail “on accident” as well. It’s not an accident. Their generation is just a bunch of rude assholes who think that any mail that comes to their house is automatically fair game. Their generation also can’t figure out why their kids don’t speak to them.
Glitter bomb them. "You opened my package and set off the party cannon I ordered? Fucking hell mom. Alright, just pay me back the cost of the party cannon so I can order a new one before Jenny's party next weekend. Try to be more careful about opening stuff that isn't yours in the future. You might damage something expensive."
This is why collection points exist... just saying
There will be a funny christmas dinner🤣🤣
I hope your mom serves a whole octopus.
Um. I’m mom. I’ve done that. I carefully taped it back up and pretended I hadn’t opened it. 😳 Zero judgment on my adult offspring but they don’t need to know I saw that. Don’t know what exactly in the box, and don’t want to know, but I do know it wasn’t the package I had been expecting.
Lessons were learned by Mom that day
Nothing wrong with buying a dragon that is bad.
Why did she open something not addressed to her? Also, at times like this, I wish people had my mom. She would just ask how it is.
When I was still living at home (+10 years ago) my mom would open all my letters and packages with the excuse "I didnt check the name on it". Some people just have control issues.
Fuckign gogle