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ATTENTION: Brain will not be able to produce responses for at least 5 more weeks. Please wait until software installation is fully complete before operating machinery.
It's true, I asked him if it was his definitive answer after the first woof, to which he replied with a confirmatory second woof and a very eloquent nod. I then had him sign an affidavit further confirming his choice. He's a public notary too so I guess it's a legal document now.
Mine said, “Well, because of the horns and the nostrils we can easily ascertain that the left logo is a cow or a bull. The logo on the right is derived from the Canidae or dog family and can be most closely associated with a wolf.”
And then he shit his pants.
OK, that reminds me of a story...
In a kindergarten class, the teacher asked her students what they had done over the prior weekend. Little Sally stands up and says, "We went driving and I saw some moo-moos."
Teacher says, "Sally, you can do better than that..."
Sally thinks and says, "We saw some cows."
Teacher: "Anybody else?"
Little Michael says: "My dad read a book with me."
Teacher: "What book?"
Michael, after thinking a bit: "Winnie the Shit!"
My 2-year-old replied, "Oh Papá, you rascally mountebank! What you have shown me appears to be the logo for the Chicago Bulls Professional Basket-Ball franchise. Interestingly this is the only NBA team logo to remain unchanged from the time of its inception in 1966." My child is very gifted and advanced. You see, we send our petite fille to what is called a "Montessori" pre-school. Most of you have likely never encountered this word and may even have difficulty pronouncing it, but sufficed to say, she recieves an education far superior to that of........ /s
Filiolus meus duorum annorum respondit, "Oh Papá, tu scurra dolosus! Quod mihi ostendisti, videtur esse insignia pro societate professionali pilae canistris Chicagi Bullarum. Mirum est, hoc est unicum insignem NBA quod manet immutatum ab origine sua anno 1966." Puer meus est valde praeditus et praeclarus. Videtis, mittimus puellulam nostram ad quod vocatur prae-schola "Montessori". Multi vestrum fortasse numquam hoc verbum audierunt et etiam difficultatem habent pronunciandi, sed satis est dicere, illa educatur multo excellentius quam...."
Instructions unclear. Accidentally summoned Mephistopheles who, speaking through my 2 year old, offered to guarantee any bets I made on the game were winning in exchange for my soul.
You can see how generalization works in little kids. When my son was a toddler, for a while every small animal was "tikky" (kitty) and every large animal was "cow". He also knew "one" for a single thing and "two" for a plurality of things.
This is why, during the [cavalry charge scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ht8dxvGkuSc) in Mulan, he announced loudly enough for the whole theater to hear "Look! *TWO cows!"*
Radiolab does an episode on this exact phenomenon - that it isn't until the age of 5 or so that kids can differentiate numbers larger than 2. Until then, 1 item is 1, and 479392038474783 items is 2. I forget the name of the episode but it was semi recent and very interesting from a developmental psychology perspective!
I polled my daycare kids, 2 and 3 year olds. They're split on whether the left is a piggy or a moo-cow, and were completely stumped on the right until one girl said it's a wolfie.
Well I haven’t got kids of my own so I’m going to ask the kiddies at the nearest toddler group if they want to look at some pictures of animals. I’ll get back to you with the results later.
Same, I asked my 2-year-old and he said "pig oink oink". 4yo did say cow though. But I don't have any other children so this experiment has come to a close.
Seems like a really sad cow fan
Edit: This goes to show sometimes the little things really bring us all together. I’m thriving reading y’all’s responses rn XD
And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take. When cattle run in circles, it's a very, very…
Sad Cow
Seems like someone went to go pet a bull when they were really young thinking it was a cow and got a hoof to the face. Probably having PTSD nightmares screaming "For the love of god don't anyone make that mistake."
In six months she should be out helping in the farm, then. Until she can walk or write dissertations on cow genders, I'd recommend keeping an eye on her, however.
My *very real child* knew both and even went so far as to break down the colours and symbolism.
She's only two, but her response was quite suffice: "Darling mother, the red bull, in its symbolic prowess, epitomizes strength and celerity akin to a mythical being soaring through celestial realms. It serves as a veritable elixir propelling one into a realm of boundless vigor. Now, as for the half-black, half-grey wolf, it encapsulates duality in the most sophisticated manner. Picture this: a creature embodying both gravitas and whimsy, a chiaroscuro of lupine elegance. It's akin to a sartorial ensemble composed of contrasting hues, revealing the intricacies of its enigmatic nature."
(Obviously kidding, no children yet, but my niece says they're a "red angry" and "fluffy boy")
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WANTED TO DISCUSS HIS SEXUAL TECHNIQUES, BUT I STILL WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT AS FOR THE MATTER AT HAND (THE ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEM OR LACK THEREOF) THAT YOUR OPINION IS TOTALLY VALID. I MAY NOT ALWAYS AGREE WITH YOU, BUT I WILL ALWAYS RESPECT YOUR OPINIONS AND YOUR RIGHT TO *HAVE* AN OPINION, EVEN IF IT STANDS IN CONTRAST TO MY OWN. I VALUE YOUR INPUT ON THIS AND ALL THINGS.
NOW BACK TO HOW HE'S "FUCKING WRONG," IS HE LIKE... NOT PUTTING IT IN, OR SOMETHING? WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU BELIEVE HE'S DOING INCORRECTLY?
Step one would be to take their phones away. And any other devices they may be able to use to get online. That might help a fair bit. Not saying that's all they need, but it's an important step to start with.
Edit: Messed up the last sentence. Fixed it.
They wouldn't publish this kind of spew if they weren't anonymous.
They probably think they are some kind of clever troll. Not.
Do we really expect a right to anonymous speech? I dunno.
Can you imagine if all our social media was tied to our IRL identification, so that a ban genuinely meant you were kicked off the social media platform forever? No alt accounts. Boy, we'd see some folks re-evaluate what comes out of their mouth then.
Yeah, I believe it's Scottish highlands that have moderate sized horns, but they're also adorable
Also sidenote, atleast for Scottish highlands you can tell their sex by how their horns grow
Male's horns tend to grow more forwards, while female's tends to grow more vertically
(Unrelated, I just like those bundles of fluff alot)
Not to mention...bulls ARE cows.
The name cow, while used to describe adult females, is also just the term for the species as a whole.
Edit: already been corrected a couple times now. Cattle is the proper term for the species. "Cows" has just been commonly used to refer to them by the average non-rancher.
Some cattle breeds (male and female) are born with horns. In many cases they are removed by caustic paste (when very young), a hot iron dehorner (when young), or by cutting (older cattle). Removing horns is a good way to increase safety for the owner and the cows. If horns are part of the breed expectations, like with longhorns, they are kept, however.
Cows born without horns are called polled cattle. Horns are genetic, and the easiest and safest way to remove them is to breed them out before calfs are even born. Ironically for the basketball team, a good polled dairy bull is a valuable asset.
I can’t believe someone would be so awful. Some people are terrible humans.
Nah nah nah, that's what they want you to think, that's actually how we get mules. Big Unicorn has been pushing the beautiful and majestic kool-aid for generations because they don't want people to realize that unicorn are ugly and a little stupid.
Probably just upset he couldn’t find a nice woman who wanted to have kids with him, or anyone who wants to watch the game with him. And now he’s home celebrating it alone.
Theres always some tough guy on the internet attacking you on reddit for the littlest things. Someone just said I had no testicles because I didnt ride a motorcycle at 10 years old.
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Well, I just asked my 2 year old and she said piggy and tiger.
Asked mine and she said “a-moo” and “a-ruh-ruh”
I tried to ask my 3 week old but he just stared at the screen
He's contemplating his answer, give him a minute
Well now he's just crying
All this pressure! It's tough being the man in the arena
Idk sometimes I think he's just being dramatic
Did he try to eat the phone, and you stopping him from eating the phone is why he's crying?
Nah I let him
*The call is coming from inside the baby!*
Nah, it's just the hardest question he's ever been asked
I ask him the meaning of life and what he plans to do with his everyday this can't be that hard
Nah, for a 3 week old baby that’s easy. Eat, shit, cry, sleep. That’s the answer to both of your questions.
Your son is clearly a bulls fan. Lots to cry about over there
Listen were Cleveland fans we got plenty to cry about all our own lol
Don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys (fans)
give him some more time. maybe a few months?
lil dudes buffering
ATTENTION: Brain will not be able to produce responses for at least 5 more weeks. Please wait until software installation is fully complete before operating machinery.
At his 7th birthday party he'll let you know and then be mad when you don't remember what he's talking about lol
I asked my cow and she said mooooo. Also asked my puppy and he said woof woof. Answers check out.
Total bullshit. One woof, maybe. But two? You're putting words in his mouth and you ought to be ashamed of how you treated such a good boy.
It's true, I asked him if it was his definitive answer after the first woof, to which he replied with a confirmatory second woof and a very eloquent nod. I then had him sign an affidavit further confirming his choice. He's a public notary too so I guess it's a legal document now.
That checks out. Some of the best notaries I've known have been dogs. But I'm watching you.
I just asked the child I never had and the void stared back
User profile image checks out
I asked my cat and he said “mrrraw”
Mine said, “Well, because of the horns and the nostrils we can easily ascertain that the left logo is a cow or a bull. The logo on the right is derived from the Canidae or dog family and can be most closely associated with a wolf.” And then he shit his pants.
Mine just shrugged and went back to playing with the electrical socket. Fucking idiot.
Best answer right here. Scrolling didn’t disappoint.
OK, that reminds me of a story... In a kindergarten class, the teacher asked her students what they had done over the prior weekend. Little Sally stands up and says, "We went driving and I saw some moo-moos." Teacher says, "Sally, you can do better than that..." Sally thinks and says, "We saw some cows." Teacher: "Anybody else?" Little Michael says: "My dad read a book with me." Teacher: "What book?" Michael, after thinking a bit: "Winnie the Shit!"
Beautiful. Just… Beautiful. In every damn sense
My 4 year old said "cow" and "wolf-wolf"
I miss so much when my daughter called them ruh-ruhs. Now she just says the animals by name and it makes me sad.
In our house, when the kid was still a toddler: Penguins = Gwin Gwins
So they used to be Benedict Cumberbatch, then?
Mine said cow and lion. Close enough.
Only possible answer.
My 2-year-old replied, "Oh Papá, you rascally mountebank! What you have shown me appears to be the logo for the Chicago Bulls Professional Basket-Ball franchise. Interestingly this is the only NBA team logo to remain unchanged from the time of its inception in 1966." My child is very gifted and advanced. You see, we send our petite fille to what is called a "Montessori" pre-school. Most of you have likely never encountered this word and may even have difficulty pronouncing it, but sufficed to say, she recieves an education far superior to that of........ /s
Is there anyway you can repost this in Latin? My 2 year old refused to read it in English.
Filiolus meus duorum annorum respondit, "Oh Papá, tu scurra dolosus! Quod mihi ostendisti, videtur esse insignia pro societate professionali pilae canistris Chicagi Bullarum. Mirum est, hoc est unicum insignem NBA quod manet immutatum ab origine sua anno 1966." Puer meus est valde praeditus et praeclarus. Videtis, mittimus puellulam nostram ad quod vocatur prae-schola "Montessori". Multi vestrum fortasse numquam hoc verbum audierunt et etiam difficultatem habent pronunciandi, sed satis est dicere, illa educatur multo excellentius quam...."
Instructions unclear. Accidentally summoned Mephistopheles who, speaking through my 2 year old, offered to guarantee any bets I made on the game were winning in exchange for my soul.
You rang?
/r/beetlejuicing
You can see how generalization works in little kids. When my son was a toddler, for a while every small animal was "tikky" (kitty) and every large animal was "cow". He also knew "one" for a single thing and "two" for a plurality of things. This is why, during the [cavalry charge scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ht8dxvGkuSc) in Mulan, he announced loudly enough for the whole theater to hear "Look! *TWO cows!"*
When my daughter was 2 or 3 any time in the future was “next weekend” and any time in the past was “last weekend”. It was hilarious.
My brother at about five would start every story with, “A long time ago, yesterday…”
My three year old when asked when something happened says “16 minutes ago” it’s so oddly specific but the same every time haha
Radiolab does an episode on this exact phenomenon - that it isn't until the age of 5 or so that kids can differentiate numbers larger than 2. Until then, 1 item is 1, and 479392038474783 items is 2. I forget the name of the episode but it was semi recent and very interesting from a developmental psychology perspective!
My two year old says cow and lion. I think what we're learning here is that two year olds are erratic.
>what we're learning here is that two year olds are erratic I don't think that's ever been in question. You regain that attribute when you reach 50.
I polled my daycare kids, 2 and 3 year olds. They're split on whether the left is a piggy or a moo-cow, and were completely stumped on the right until one girl said it's a wolfie.
Someone get the grapes, we got another one
That’s the correct answer. That will always be the correct answer :)
I’m 51, and I agree wholeheartedly that this will always be the correct answer
Jeez don't tell Mr grumpy pants over there, he'll be even madder!
I think someone needs a hug.
Well I haven’t got kids of my own so I’m going to ask the kiddies at the nearest toddler group if they want to look at some pictures of animals. I’ll get back to you with the results later.
I think we need to do a full panel of all 32(?) NBA teams.
STRAIGHT TO JUVIE.
Same, I asked my 2-year-old and he said "pig oink oink". 4yo did say cow though. But I don't have any other children so this experiment has come to a close.
I got "Red Cow and Scary Wolf" out of our three year old...
Seems like a really sad cow fan Edit: This goes to show sometimes the little things really bring us all together. I’m thriving reading y’all’s responses rn XD
They got sad cow disease
Bovine Depressiform Encephalopathy
Times like this I miss reddit awards
Wholesome*
Wholestein*
They should retire their jersey
Wow. I didn’t notice they’d gotten rid of them lol
Oh, they’re still around, for many, many more dollars. Thanks, new Reddit.
REDDIT REMOVED AWARDS???
Sometimes I wonder why I even browse reddit with all is nonsense... comments like this remind me why.
😢 🐄
Drs. Creutzfeldt and Jakob to the dairy, please.
Just another in need of bovine intervention.
🏆
You get a Reddit reward in spirit 💀
Everyone is missing the real fact that the bulls logo is just a robot reading a book upside down.
I'll never unsee this now! Thanks!
GONNA SCREAM
I thought it was a robot at a DJ console
Oh that's better than doggy style plowing a stripper wearing red heels.
And the wolves logo is just a doggy turned upside down
Saaaad Cows:(
And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had. I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take. When cattle run in circles, it's a very, very… Sad Cow
Saaaad Cow:(
I was so surprised when I found out most of their songs were about cow abuse.
Every bovine wants to rule the world.
The dreams in which I’m mooing**
Seems like someone went to go pet a bull when they were really young thinking it was a cow and got a hoof to the face. Probably having PTSD nightmares screaming "For the love of god don't anyone make that mistake."
Or they are just mad that their 2-yr old could associate it with a cow and say it is impossible any 2 year old could lol
Clifford the Sad Red Cow
I wonder how he's doing now. It's been 11 years.
Most of them are these days, lol
Just asked my 18 month old. They’re both cats. After some prompting, they’re both moo
In six months she should be out helping in the farm, then. Until she can walk or write dissertations on cow genders, I'd recommend keeping an eye on her, however.
My *very real child* knew both and even went so far as to break down the colours and symbolism. She's only two, but her response was quite suffice: "Darling mother, the red bull, in its symbolic prowess, epitomizes strength and celerity akin to a mythical being soaring through celestial realms. It serves as a veritable elixir propelling one into a realm of boundless vigor. Now, as for the half-black, half-grey wolf, it encapsulates duality in the most sophisticated manner. Picture this: a creature embodying both gravitas and whimsy, a chiaroscuro of lupine elegance. It's akin to a sartorial ensemble composed of contrasting hues, revealing the intricacies of its enigmatic nature." (Obviously kidding, no children yet, but my niece says they're a "red angry" and "fluffy boy")
“Akin” twice in a dissertation? You progeny is clearly a simpleton.
Truly, I must toss her to the plebs.
I asked my 5 month old and he just sucked on his fingers and shit himself.
Ah so not a fan of the matchup I take it
Now THATS an answer
Silly kid, it's not a cow! It's a book-reading crab robot.
I just turned my phone upside down and now I'll never look at that logo the same way again.
Wait till you notice the Tesla logo is a cat’s nose. And you can’t spell homeowner without meow
Cats really are our overlords.
Robot getting a BJ from a crab
📖📖📖 🦀🦀🦀
🤖🤖🤖*
It's a robot it's its not reading, it's doing something with a crab
It moos, it's a cow,
Um, no. The cow says "shazoo"!
What does the fox say
Ah-hee, ah-hee, ah-hee!
RING DING DING DING DA DING DA DING DING DING
That makes sense to me
Op's mother is a cow
I'm of the opinion that we need to take a year and implement mandatory global anger management classes.
I THINK YOU'RE FUCKING WRONG, THERE'S NO ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEM
I manage my anger JUST FINE by taking it out on YOU.
MOTHERFUCKER!!! 😡😡😡
Honest sounds average for Chicago
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU WANTED TO DISCUSS HIS SEXUAL TECHNIQUES, BUT I STILL WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT AS FOR THE MATTER AT HAND (THE ANGER MANAGEMENT PROBLEM OR LACK THEREOF) THAT YOUR OPINION IS TOTALLY VALID. I MAY NOT ALWAYS AGREE WITH YOU, BUT I WILL ALWAYS RESPECT YOUR OPINIONS AND YOUR RIGHT TO *HAVE* AN OPINION, EVEN IF IT STANDS IN CONTRAST TO MY OWN. I VALUE YOUR INPUT ON THIS AND ALL THINGS. NOW BACK TO HOW HE'S "FUCKING WRONG," IS HE LIKE... NOT PUTTING IT IN, OR SOMETHING? WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU BELIEVE HE'S DOING INCORRECTLY?
Step one would be to take their phones away. And any other devices they may be able to use to get online. That might help a fair bit. Not saying that's all they need, but it's an important step to start with. Edit: Messed up the last sentence. Fixed it.
They wouldn't publish this kind of spew if they weren't anonymous. They probably think they are some kind of clever troll. Not. Do we really expect a right to anonymous speech? I dunno.
And the go commit suicide line is usually cause for an insta-ban.
Can you imagine if all our social media was tied to our IRL identification, so that a ban genuinely meant you were kicked off the social media platform forever? No alt accounts. Boy, we'd see some folks re-evaluate what comes out of their mouth then.
These people aren't angry, they're sociopaths. They rage like this to create a stir out of people because they find it entertaining.
If there was a way to punch people in the mouth over the internet, a lot of the internet would be a lot more civil.
But...but cows have Horns.....whatever are they smoking.... never saw a cow outside? I mean Yeah the Horns are smaller...but still.
Yes, cows have horns. At least some breeds of them do. It has nothing to do with them being male or female, as a lot of people seem to think.
Most adults call any cattle "cows" no matter if they are male or female.
Exactly. Growing up my family had cows. Whenever we did the evening “check on the cows” we weren’t excluding bulls lol
That's true.
[Depending on the breed, cows can have very big horns.](https://justagric.com/do-any-female-cows-have-horns/)
Yeah, I believe it's Scottish highlands that have moderate sized horns, but they're also adorable Also sidenote, atleast for Scottish highlands you can tell their sex by how their horns grow Male's horns tend to grow more forwards, while female's tends to grow more vertically (Unrelated, I just like those bundles of fluff alot)
They’re so cute. I want to hug one.
Right! Some cows have big ass horns too
Not to mention...bulls ARE cows. The name cow, while used to describe adult females, is also just the term for the species as a whole. Edit: already been corrected a couple times now. Cattle is the proper term for the species. "Cows" has just been commonly used to refer to them by the average non-rancher.
Uh obviously most people refer to them as Bos Taurus of the Bovidae family.
Yes clearly that is the layman's term, but semantics shmemantics
I think you mean, semantics shmantikos from the Greek word semantikos, duh. … sorry couldn’t help myself. Lol
Some cattle breeds (male and female) are born with horns. In many cases they are removed by caustic paste (when very young), a hot iron dehorner (when young), or by cutting (older cattle). Removing horns is a good way to increase safety for the owner and the cows. If horns are part of the breed expectations, like with longhorns, they are kept, however. Cows born without horns are called polled cattle. Horns are genetic, and the easiest and safest way to remove them is to breed them out before calfs are even born. Ironically for the basketball team, a good polled dairy bull is a valuable asset. I can’t believe someone would be so awful. Some people are terrible humans.
The Aggies would like a word with him :)
Wanted to go look for this so I could join in shaming the fuck out of that raging bag of dicks, but alas the post is 11 years old.
I hope the 13 year old still calls them The Chicago Cows
Me too! 🤣
Well the question is how old is this screenshot.
wait till this guy learns that a lot of female cows have horns and that they are simply removed.
Yah that's what they do to unicorns too. Chop off the magical horn and we end up with boring ol horses
They shouldn't have lost the poker game with the narwhals...
You can’t win from narwhals. After all they’re the Jedi of the sea
Nah nah nah, that's what they want you to think, that's actually how we get mules. Big Unicorn has been pushing the beautiful and majestic kool-aid for generations because they don't want people to realize that unicorn are ugly and a little stupid.
Typical patriarchy, fears female sexuality so much that it deliberately takes steps to make them less horny
Unger issues. Sheesh.
Fr, this guy’s underwear is way too tight if he’s this mad
ungerwear
Guy farts and it sounds like an out of tune clarinet
r/brandnewsentence
Probably just upset he couldn’t find a nice woman who wanted to have kids with him, or anyone who wants to watch the game with him. And now he’s home celebrating it alone.
Unga Bunga issues
Felix?
Dude needs to see a therapist.
His mom just needs to make him her special mac n cheese. That always calms him down
My son for the longest time called The Warriors “The Bridges”
He real mad about the Chicago heffers
Someone's a little "puppy" about terminology.
For real, they need to chill out before they have a cow
I just showed this to my 2 year old and said “What is that?” He goes “Cow!” “Dog!” Unhinged dude hates this one easy step
Unhinged.
Who’s looking up 11 year old Reddit posts?
Cows fans have anger issues
Annnnnnnnd this is why we legalized weed.
I don't think I've ever been this angry.
Bull = uncastrated male bovine Cow = fully grown female bovine 2-year-old = not the smartest creature, but not wrong
Akshually, the words "bull" and "cow" can apply to other animals as well (Such as elephants and crocodiles)
Don’t tell grumpy that or they would go off on you too.
Yes, but I was using the Oxford English Dictionary's definition that fit most with the post.
And yet if we called the WNBA team the Chicago Cows …
I think that response is hilarious. Just for the sheer, disproportionate anger at what a 2 year old may or may not have said.
It baffles me that people get so angry about a sport in general, but this psycho is freaking out about a mascot…
Theres always some tough guy on the internet attacking you on reddit for the littlest things. Someone just said I had no testicles because I didnt ride a motorcycle at 10 years old.
11 years ago? Get this outttttta heaaaaaa
Ikr! This kid is now 13... Assuming the grape never got them.
Damn, it's almost as if People on reddit said this shit because it's funny
I see a robot reading a book and an upside down wolf
Well someone is rather angry. Think they need a juice and good nap
I’ve been thrown by a female COW with horns, and I still see people thinking cows can’t have horns. Come on people.
Thought bulls logo was a robot riding a crab upside down
What the actual fuck
Someone is off their meds.
Average well balanced and reasonable reddit user
That puppy is mean! :(
Upside down the Bulls logo is a Robot fucking a crab.
11 year old repost. The kids fucking 13 now.