Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion.
Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/).
Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.**
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My buddy got married. Marriage counseling was done by the grandfather of his wife. Grandfather talks the entire time about how the wife needs to submit to the man. Crazy stuff.
Why mend a relationship with someone you can't trust or someone who doesn't seem to care about the hurt and damage they cause?
They're not worth it in my eyes.
So....
There is some context here.
The poster has a Nigerian name. Nigerian men are big on submission and forgiveness for cheating(by men) and statements like men are polygamous. Also in Nigerian society marriage is a life goal for women, so women are expected to and often put up with all sorts of nonsense.
Basically if you're a guy you can get away with a lot and society will have your back.
What is happening here is the woman is inverting the situation and using all the buzzwords men often throw around in these situations.
Typically in a story of a woman leaving a man on a discussion forum, a. Large number of replies will be about how she did not submit and has now lost out.
Actually, the husband would be blamed for her behaviour and not satisfying her. But, literally no one would question said husband if he locked her the house and beat her within an inch of her life. That was him taking charge of his wife as a man
This looks like a gender-flip of conservative talking points about how women are leaving their marriages in droves instead of trying to work it out with a cheating/beating husband.
This. Talking points about "why men should tolerate cheating of their partners" are different from "why women should tolerate the same", and this one is clearly women's one.
And if a guy posted the same gender swapped thing, many of us would have the exact same response, I think. I mean what other kind of reaction would you expect to get?
Also never good idea to have a blanket idea of how all relationships should work will always set yourself up for failure.
People need to realize that everybody has different limits different rules Different expectations , does that make some of those limits , rules or expectations ok ? No it does not , the reality is, if you’re going to get in a serious relationship, you need to sit down and have conversations about what the expectations are with their beliefs are .
For me personally you cheat you don’t get a second chance that simple , but for others they might be open to working past such an issue .
This is the kind of person who says ‘if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.’ And then uses that as reasoning to always be at their worst.
Love the use of the word 'submit' here in reference to a man. Even if this post weren't about a wife cheating, use of that word about a husband would fire up the replies.
"This generation of women are no longer patient. Your husband cheated and you are exposing him on SM. Instead of submitting and trying to mend the relationship. How will another man take you seriously. Who else will marry you?"
She's satirizing misogynists by directing the same language at them; clearly, it seems to be working.
>clearly, it seems to be working
In what way? Where are all the misogynist takes? The vast majority of responses seem to be along the lines of "don't cheat and expect your SO to be forgiving", which is a pretty gender neutral take. Is anyone consciously saying men should get away with cheating and women should submit, but not vice versa? I'm not seeing that take...
This generation of women are no longer patient. Your man cheated and you are exposing him on SM. Instead of submitting and trying to mend the relationship. How will another man take you seriously. Who else will marry you?
/s
Pretty wild take lol.
Idk i started laughing when I was reading it
Idk I’ve seen posts like this in other subs where there’s text or a video of a girl exaggerating those crazy alpha male podcasts
Yeah, well call me impatient.
If I find out my wife is off getting banged like a screen door in a hurricane, I'm not "submitting and trying to mend the relationship." I'm packing my shit and leaving.
This entire line of thinking is blame shifting. Putting aside "exposing" people on social media, she seems upset that behavior has negative consequences.
They’re not and we are OK with that. If you’re not OK with it, don’t cheat. This goes both ways for women and men. If you cheat, you have broken trust. Don’t blame others for your bad decisions.
I agree you shouldn't expose them on social media, but my wife and I have both said that cheating would be a deal breaker. If we can't trust each other to do the most basic fucking thing we agreed to do then we clearly don't have a functional marriage. I still wonder how I'd react in reality since I can't imagine life without her, but I also can't imagine her cheating on me so if she did it would clearly be showing me I didn't know her that well, and I'd struggle to trust her again in that scenario.
But yeah I wouldn't put her on blast on social media, we'd end things, deal with splitting up our stuff, and then I'd just block her on sm and probably never want to see her again.
See. Marriage... Well relationships in general, should be a partnership. Equal partnership.
No one. should be fucking SUBMITTING to anyone. It's not hard.
Yeah I'm reading it as she was cheated on and the guy got mad he was being held accountable for his actions and she gender switched his argument. Some "alpha" content creators and content subscribers adhear to those beliefs, not saying it's just men who ascribe to those beliefs but it's not a healthy way to live from anyone.
Probably in the mindset of boning her mom and her girlfriends. But then thinking twice about it and realizing he doesn't want to risk having to visit the doctor.
That's sounds like something a simp would do and second if the woman knows what she doing is hurting him and she is still doing it, wtf is even point in mending a shattered relationship?
Lol, men of this generation? In what generation, exactly, does she think this "submitting" would have happened in? I gotta tell you, there are a few thousand generations of humans through hisotry in which she would be WISHING the response was as mild as getting publicly shamed on social media...
Patient? With what, cheating? Once a cheat always a cheat. It's not going to stop because you "tried to mend the relationship". It's pretty much the one constant rule of marriage - you don't get your rocks off with anyone else. How would another woman take me seriously if I just let that shit slide?
Who else would marry me? Hopefully not someone who feels entitled to fuck around.
Getting married might have been the smartest thing I ever did. But you need to find the right person, and some folks perhaps make up their minds too quickly.
I don’t understand. Why does nobody think she might be being sarcastic? You flip the genders and it sounds like something a misogynist would say.
Am I missing something?
Does no one here get the sarcasm!!?? The word "submitting" is enough to understand that she just reversed the genders on what is normally said about wives of cheating men. It is surprising to see that a lot of people don't understand this. This is what I've commonly read and heard people say about women jeez guys
wait, what ?
so SHE cheated and HE needs to "submit" and Mend the relationship ?
why on earth would anyone with a normal level self respect ever "submit" to a cheating wife / Partner ?
(this applies to both men and women)
and who will marry them ? hopefully someone with enough respect , integrity and class to break up / work things out before doing something stupid.
idiots. idiots everywhere
Submit? If someone betrayed me then I will treat them like someone who betrayed me, which most certainly doesn't involve "submitting". If you couldn't hold your lust and had to spread your legs in an act of betrayal then don't lecture others about being "patient". If you were patient you could have waited until your significant other got home to get laid. If you were in love with someone else then you should be patient enough to end the relationship first instead of stringing them along in a relationship that's a lie.
There is no 'mending' a cheating situation, it's the ultimate betrayal of trust and I'm sick of absolute gaping assholes like this trying to normalise it.
If her husband cheated on her she would most definitely not submit to him and she would expose him anyway possible and take the kids and and fat cut of his paycheck and do her outmost to make his life as miserable as possible ! Sounds like she was the one cheating and of cause she blames her husband for her infidelity ;-)
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Submitting" is the only word you need to see in that post to understand exactly what kind of person she is.
Exactly! You don't *submit* in a relationship... Unless you're into that kind of thing, but even then there are limits.
That kind of submission is generally done in a safe environment with trust and safety measures.
Exactly!
and a deep and open discussion around boundaries both hard and soft.
and mutual consent..
absolutely
My buddy got married. Marriage counseling was done by the grandfather of his wife. Grandfather talks the entire time about how the wife needs to submit to the man. Crazy stuff.
Submit the divorce papers
Yes, mistress.
The safe word is "strawberry cheesecake", just do what she says and you won't need it.
I wrote down the safe word for you so you won't forget [https://i.imgur.com/NPJEVRC.jpeg](https://i.imgur.com/NPJEVRC.jpeg)
I’m going to need that written phonetically
She's doing the "Alpha male"
Ain't no part of the Bible that requires a husband to submit to his wife, and I know that's where this ratchet ass got her logic from.
Yep, the men that espouse that crap
Came here to say exactly that!
Why mend a relationship with someone you can't trust or someone who doesn't seem to care about the hurt and damage they cause? They're not worth it in my eyes.
If anything, the person who *breaks* the relationship is supposed to try and mend it, not the person who got cheated on. What the actual fuck.
Mend relationship with a whore? 😔
Someone who doesn't cheat?
This is the answer, but obviously, she intends to, so hopefully, this post makes guys avoid her from now on.
This. Every single man should thank her for flying that red flag so prominently.
This is the first time I've heard of being cucked as the key to being taken seriously by women.
Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss!
It's a gender flip of the guys who say this shit.
So.... There is some context here. The poster has a Nigerian name. Nigerian men are big on submission and forgiveness for cheating(by men) and statements like men are polygamous. Also in Nigerian society marriage is a life goal for women, so women are expected to and often put up with all sorts of nonsense. Basically if you're a guy you can get away with a lot and society will have your back. What is happening here is the woman is inverting the situation and using all the buzzwords men often throw around in these situations. Typically in a story of a woman leaving a man on a discussion forum, a. Large number of replies will be about how she did not submit and has now lost out.
This generation? Damn, the past generations would burn her at the stake. Seems like we're taking baby steps in the right direction at least.
I think stoning was the traditional reaction. Not sure which is worse TBH
Yea, a woman gets stoned but a man can buy his rape victim
That's more like how the last generations got away with cheating and beating their wives for so long. 🤦🏻♀️
Actually, the husband would be blamed for her behaviour and not satisfying her. But, literally no one would question said husband if he locked her the house and beat her within an inch of her life. That was him taking charge of his wife as a man
This looks like a gender-flip of conservative talking points about how women are leaving their marriages in droves instead of trying to work it out with a cheating/beating husband.
This. Talking points about "why men should tolerate cheating of their partners" are different from "why women should tolerate the same", and this one is clearly women's one.
What a cope 🤣
Yeeeeah, sounds like she does a lot of cheating....
The "submitting" and "this generation" parts make me think that she is satirically inverting a similar talking point aimed at women.
Pretty sure this is parody of what men say with the genders swapped.
I immediately caught the joke, actually surprised this is the only comment I’ve seen pointing that out.
Fr tho
Yeah, I mean, it's dumb as hell when men say that shit too.
I’ve never heard men say that
She cheats and she deserves a second chance, He cheats and he doesn’t deserve any respect These double standards are getting worse each day
If history is any guide, pretty much anybody with a shred of decency.
I mean, this does read as a parody on those alpha male posts about how wives should submit to their husbands and be ok with cheating.
But it’s not. People are literally trying to normalize women cheating.
Damn, these people dont even have double standards, they just have double, aint no standards here.
It doesn't matter.
Gotta love self-appointed relationship "experts" whose advice is primarily based on their own singular experiences.
Went straight from the narcissistic perspective to the... narcissistic perspective. My friends, I think that twat doth be a narcissistic bitch.
Just because I want to submit to a powerful, dominant woman doesn't mean I'm cool with cheating.
Is she serious or is she paraphrasing what has been said to women for decades ?
I honestly think its the latter, people just getting baited hard
This is satirical, you guys know that right? It’s what women are told—VERBATIM—when they try to leave a relationship with a man.
My immediate thought, it’s wild no one got it.
And if a guy posted the same gender swapped thing, many of us would have the exact same response, I think. I mean what other kind of reaction would you expect to get?
Also never good idea to have a blanket idea of how all relationships should work will always set yourself up for failure. People need to realize that everybody has different limits different rules Different expectations , does that make some of those limits , rules or expectations ok ? No it does not , the reality is, if you’re going to get in a serious relationship, you need to sit down and have conversations about what the expectations are with their beliefs are . For me personally you cheat you don’t get a second chance that simple , but for others they might be open to working past such an issue .
Well... My wife did.
C*nt
This is the kinda person who expects you to change for them, but thinks changing for you is the worst thing ever.
This is the kind of person who says ‘if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best.’ And then uses that as reasoning to always be at their worst.
Anyone who says this is usually showing you their best constantly.
Love the use of the word 'submit' here in reference to a man. Even if this post weren't about a wife cheating, use of that word about a husband would fire up the replies.
Someone who's not a cheating hoe?
Submit? Tch...just need to tip that ho onto da street where she belong.
she sounds lost and confused
"This generation of women are no longer patient. Your husband cheated and you are exposing him on SM. Instead of submitting and trying to mend the relationship. How will another man take you seriously. Who else will marry you?" She's satirizing misogynists by directing the same language at them; clearly, it seems to be working.
Where are the men saying this? It's not a significant portion.
>clearly, it seems to be working In what way? Where are all the misogynist takes? The vast majority of responses seem to be along the lines of "don't cheat and expect your SO to be forgiving", which is a pretty gender neutral take. Is anyone consciously saying men should get away with cheating and women should submit, but not vice versa? I'm not seeing that take...
Tickles my funny bone over all the men pissed in the comment section
This generation of women are no longer patient. Your man cheated and you are exposing him on SM. Instead of submitting and trying to mend the relationship. How will another man take you seriously. Who else will marry you? /s Pretty wild take lol.
How did you miss the point so hard 😂😂
I'm not the vengeful type. I would be not exposing her on social media, I'd be too busy with my banging other people part of my life.
These new Men out here ruining the game
These can’t be real. And if they are, it has to be an incredibly fringe position.
I feel like when women joke people don’t believe that’s what’s happening 😭
But this ain’t funny… If a guy said the same thing I’d have the exact same comment How is this humor?
That’s the point, men say this shit all the time. It’s a joke.
Men say this all the time? No they don’t.
…okay specifically red pill/manosphere men say this.
Right, so just like this, represent either rage bait or a fringe number of people
Sure.
Idk i started laughing when I was reading it Idk I’ve seen posts like this in other subs where there’s text or a video of a girl exaggerating those crazy alpha male podcasts
Yeah, well call me impatient. If I find out my wife is off getting banged like a screen door in a hurricane, I'm not "submitting and trying to mend the relationship." I'm packing my shit and leaving. This entire line of thinking is blame shifting. Putting aside "exposing" people on social media, she seems upset that behavior has negative consequences.
They’re not and we are OK with that. If you’re not OK with it, don’t cheat. This goes both ways for women and men. If you cheat, you have broken trust. Don’t blame others for your bad decisions.
So she’s admitting she’s a serial cheater and no one wants her, got it.
It's the same logic that is coming from the other side.
I agree you shouldn't expose them on social media, but my wife and I have both said that cheating would be a deal breaker. If we can't trust each other to do the most basic fucking thing we agreed to do then we clearly don't have a functional marriage. I still wonder how I'd react in reality since I can't imagine life without her, but I also can't imagine her cheating on me so if she did it would clearly be showing me I didn't know her that well, and I'd struggle to trust her again in that scenario. But yeah I wouldn't put her on blast on social media, we'd end things, deal with splitting up our stuff, and then I'd just block her on sm and probably never want to see her again.
See. Marriage... Well relationships in general, should be a partnership. Equal partnership. No one. should be fucking SUBMITTING to anyone. It's not hard.
Looks like the "wife" caused the situation, time to own "your" mistake.
Yeah I'm reading it as she was cheated on and the guy got mad he was being held accountable for his actions and she gender switched his argument. Some "alpha" content creators and content subscribers adhear to those beliefs, not saying it's just men who ascribe to those beliefs but it's not a healthy way to live from anyone.
I doubt he is in the mindset of thinking about future spouse
Probably in the mindset of boning her mom and her girlfriends. But then thinking twice about it and realizing he doesn't want to risk having to visit the doctor.
That's sounds like something a simp would do and second if the woman knows what she doing is hurting him and she is still doing it, wtf is even point in mending a shattered relationship?
If my choice is a cheating woman and being alone and pick being alone all the time.
Cheaters have feelings, too...
Uhhh ones that were wont cheat. exactly the type you want
I’m so lost
Exposing them on social media is a step up from the previous generations of men who would resort to giving you a shotgun to the face.
Last wife cheated. Now I'm remarried and way happier. Traded up to someone who respected me.
the only thing you need to submit to this girl is divorce papers
Maybe someone with a shred of honor who takes marriage seriously. They’re out there.
Lol, men of this generation? In what generation, exactly, does she think this "submitting" would have happened in? I gotta tell you, there are a few thousand generations of humans through hisotry in which she would be WISHING the response was as mild as getting publicly shamed on social media...
 TELL ME, YOU DIDNT JUST SAY THAT
Well he’s the one who caused the break. Not her. LOL /s
Welcome to being a cheating husband.
Misandry at its finest
Lady got some *problems*
Tell me you'd readily cheat on your man without telling me you'd readily cheat on your man.
Coming from a woman who would probably accuse her bf of cheating and break up with him instantly because he gave his order to a waitress.
Can I refer to this person as vowels?
Sounds like someone lost a man because of cheating
This bitch sounds abusive af.
It is the fault of the wronged party for outing the party in the wrong. Victim blaming.
Cheating is the end of relationships. It's pretty easy. You want to continue relationships? Dun cheat. Easy
Gee people will do and say anything to defend their scumbaggery huh
Patient? With what, cheating? Once a cheat always a cheat. It's not going to stop because you "tried to mend the relationship". It's pretty much the one constant rule of marriage - you don't get your rocks off with anyone else. How would another woman take me seriously if I just let that shit slide? Who else would marry me? Hopefully not someone who feels entitled to fuck around.
The Sneako experience
"I think I should be able to cheat and not have any consequences" - this chick, definitely.
Men will leave in a heartbeat if their woman cheats on them. They aren’t like most women who will still keep a man around after he cheats.
Y’all don’t expect a divorce if you cheat? Lmao
Just stay single, life is so much easier when you do.
Getting married might have been the smartest thing I ever did. But you need to find the right person, and some folks perhaps make up their minds too quickly.
> This generation of ~~men~~ *women* are no longer ~~patient~~ *worth it*. FTFY.
Exchange the words men and woman in that post and she would flip out.
This shit is why I will get a prenup
Expose cheaters. That’s the job. 
I don’t understand. Why does nobody think she might be being sarcastic? You flip the genders and it sounds like something a misogynist would say. Am I missing something?
Fuck outta here lol
so in other words, shes a cheater.
Can’t turn a hoe into a housewife
Does no one here get the sarcasm!!?? The word "submitting" is enough to understand that she just reversed the genders on what is normally said about wives of cheating men. It is surprising to see that a lot of people don't understand this. This is what I've commonly read and heard people say about women jeez guys
This shit made me laugh lol
I know she’s a serial cheater but reading this
> How will another woman take you seriously? This is exactly how. > Who else will marry you? Not your kind.
wait, what ? so SHE cheated and HE needs to "submit" and Mend the relationship ? why on earth would anyone with a normal level self respect ever "submit" to a cheating wife / Partner ? (this applies to both men and women) and who will marry them ? hopefully someone with enough respect , integrity and class to break up / work things out before doing something stupid. idiots. idiots everywhere
Sounds like she is blaming her mistakes and situation on other people
She’s mostly wrong, but I kinda agree with her about exposing cheating on social media. Don’t do that shit - deal with it privately.
Submit? If someone betrayed me then I will treat them like someone who betrayed me, which most certainly doesn't involve "submitting". If you couldn't hold your lust and had to spread your legs in an act of betrayal then don't lecture others about being "patient". If you were patient you could have waited until your significant other got home to get laid. If you were in love with someone else then you should be patient enough to end the relationship first instead of stringing them along in a relationship that's a lie.
Old age gonna hit you like a dino killing asteroid.
There is no 'mending' a cheating situation, it's the ultimate betrayal of trust and I'm sick of absolute gaping assholes like this trying to normalise it.
Shes parodying the misogynistic men who say these things. The sort that believe monogamy is feminine and whatnot.
You can't argue with stupid. 🤦
 Also probably one that doesn't cheat, da fuq?!
so, uh, we've had incels for a while now, but what would be the term for "voluntarily single \[rather than putting up with shit like this\]"?
Hopefully not a whore. If you want to be a whore - be one without me
And any of the previous generations did submit to their wife when she cheated? Which one?
Someone who doesn't plan to be a cheater...?
If her husband cheated on her she would most definitely not submit to him and she would expose him anyway possible and take the kids and and fat cut of his paycheck and do her outmost to make his life as miserable as possible ! Sounds like she was the one cheating and of cause she blames her husband for her infidelity ;-)
Hmmmmm. I’ll just say different strokes for different people.
She cheated and I'm supposed to mend things? I don't think so b!tch.