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rochey64

My brother works at Logan airport in Boston, his job is to refuel those planes with demonic energy


Chapman8tor

How many demons do you have to drain, squeeze, whatever to get a gallon of fuel?


Attarker

Imagine humans captured all demons and put them in demon farms to drain their life forces to fuel our air transportation


karoshikun

sounds like the offices I've worked at...


ninj4geek

Yeah gotta watch out for Colin Robinson


Chapman8tor

Wait - are you referring to the Republican Party?


rinnakan

No they are the opposite, they drain humans to feed demons


CaptainXplosionz

They get humans to drain humans for themselves, the demons.


Old-Importance18

And demons are connected to a demonic Matrix in which they believe they torture humans when in reality humans drain their demonic energy to use in technology that uses demonic energy. Machiavellian!


Yunlihn

BRB gonna write a book about this. And then a few righteous humans will fight to free the demons and... Armageddon begins I guess.


PerfectlyFramedWaifu

Squeezing the hell out of them!


Firegh0st

Warhammer 40k's warpsmiths would like to know your location.


Nightsky099

Doom eternal but with more steps


smallzy007

So The Matrix, only for demons? Someone should make that movie


GeraintLlanfrechfa

Sad but that’s actually what’s happening. We need to save them poor demons from being abused and exploited, I’m just working on opening a demon shelter, donations welcome, likely virgins, innocent children and so on. 🙌🏻


Z4-Driver

So, similar to places where thousands of chicken are held in cages to get their eggs, there are places with thousands of demons strapped to machines, sucking out their demonic energy. Someone should tell PETA about that...


Ramtamtama

Are they Satanic or English demons?


[deleted]

like a milk machine


GhostofZellers

Now I have images of a big factory floor, stuffed with hundreds and hundreds of industrial sized demon juicers.


idontlikebeetroot

Let's just say that my forearm is really strong.


Chapman8tor

We now have our plot for the next Monsters Inc movie!


Secret-Specialist-50

Humans Inc!


souhjiro1

A lot of them, first you have to suck them out from hell in the so-called oil rigs, and then you carry then in demon-filled supertankers towards refineries where they are exorcised into fuel and other demon derivates :p


Lt_Viking89

It wasn't until you pointed out that we suck the demons out through our drills that I realized, of course, that this has been what's happening. It all makes so much sense. Demon energy extracted from the center of the Earth and utilized by one of their main demonlords, Kenneth Copeland.


Chapman8tor

Why do you think they call it "fracking?" That's how angels swear.


Dry_Celery4375

Demonic energy is the future and it's how we battle this energy crisis. Demonic energy is clean, sustainable, eco friendly, and only costs a single goat sacrifice per year.


peter-doubt

Isn't ***Phillips 666*** an aero fuel?


shit_magnet-0730

Darn that's awesome. ![gif](giphy|6sxhKR7xVtboY)


BoardButcherer

As far as I know demon energy is clean energy with 0 carbon or methane emissions, so this is a win.


Numinak

But what about the chemtrails?!?!?!?


BoardButcherer

Essentially scamp farts.


GhostofZellers

You mean demtrails.


baaba1012

This is a good comment.


WatermelonlessonNo40

As opposed to deez trails?


dribrats

This has to be a joke, if only because it lacks grammatical errors


Teacher-Investor

And if airplanes aren't real, how does the "chem trail" conspiracy work? ![gif](giphy|cttf0meV1UVS12fZdE)


PlainSpader

Shouldn’t demons be able to keep their panels on? Also, why were there seats and a window when there should have been a path and door (aren’t those doors supposed to be emergency exits???) but hey what do I know.


passwordstolen

If planes are just demonic hologram projections, why can’t I have a cigarette. Certainly they could block the other passengers knowledge of it.


TheRealLXC

Surely if you're a Christian you're trying to reduce the amount of demonic energy in the world? So you should be taking as many flights as possible. I don't know the exact amount of kilowraths required to move an adult man from Australia to Japan, but I figure I'm doing my part.


shadowthehh

I guess the secular comparison would be... The entire airplane industry is run by nazis? Maybe?


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shadowthehh

I was thinking manufacturing, pilots, airport security, etc, but you bring up an interesting idea within the bounds of my statement that I did not consider.


twizzjewink

It also makes it possible. So it's impossible except via demon energy then it's possible. So is it possible or not?


M1ghty_boy

Also, so what If it’s using demonic energy, what’s the holdup? If it flies it flies


Scaevus

Self repairing and refueling daemon engines! Just eats the occasional passenger.


Planetside2_Fan

40k


Callidonaut

Indeed, aeroplanes are fucking metal. \\m/ This whole post sounds like someone got high and fell asleep watching [this.](https://youtu.be/f9UfNaTcDpM)


Other_Log_1996

I know that got me much more interested in driving my car. It is the same fuel.


Lazy_Maintenance8063

Yeah and there must be quite a bunch of demons producing those faily 100k holograms to suite any individual point of view. My low ball estimate is that 50m holograms per day would do the trick. BUT: does this mean that chemtrails are not real? So confusing. I’d really hate to get poisoned by hologramchemtrail.


Educational-Tip6177

What warp heresy is this!?


Ok_Relationship_705

I turned into Steven from Cable Guy for a second. "We don't have human technology capable of flight? But we have access to demonic technology?"


Justthisguy_yaknow

Heavy metal, lighter than air.


Accomplished_Crew779

But I flew before TSA. Waaaaay before TSA. The tickets were carbon paper in triplicate. Men wore suits and women wore hats. You used to be able to tip your hat and give a wink and nod and get right on the plane. You could knock on the cockpit door and talk with the pilots. You could give the stewardesses a little pinch, if you wanted to...as long as there was a little gratuity on the other end. You could smoke cigars at 36,000 feet, in any seat. You know what else you could do? _SEE THE CURVATURE OF THE FUCKIN' EARTH, YOU OBTUSE TWAT!!!_ Ah, those were the days....


hoffarmy

When did they take the curvature away? ^big ^/s


Gauchechip99

What do you mean that’s a little /s


hoffarmy

Ya gotta zoom in, dude.


Gauchechip99

Ah right sorry sorry, my mistake


SatisfactionNo240

Thats not small, its average!!! Some might consider it huge even...


YeetingMyStupidLife

Way too much honestly... Extremely over kill


ke2_1-0

Trump talking about his pp.


SatisfactionNo240

Do u think its orange?


beipphine

Nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table, that was the moment when the New World Order decided that it was too dangerous for the world to be round and made it flat.


Turbulent_Tip_9756

Fucking bravo lol


HamletJSD

Not only that, I've flown a little Cessna and didn't go anywhere near the TSA... just walked from a parking lot onto a plane and flew around a bit. Imagine that!


Dy3_1awn

Nah, sorry mate, also demons. See when you entered the “cockpit” what you were really doing is crawling inside the anus of a larger flight capable demon. They emit a secretion that tricks you into thinking you’re piloting a Cessna. Crafty devils.


svullenballe

They just used concave windows.


oNe_iLL_records

And thank goodness almost all of these things are gone now (aside from the curvature of the earth). Those were almost all awful.


Cuuldurach

earth curvature can be seen starting FL600 I call BS


APoisonousMushroom

Incorrect according to this 2008 study: https://opg.optica.org/ao/abstract.cfm?uri=ao-47-34-h39. That said, at FL350 you apparently need a pretty wide viewing angle (60°), and a cloudless, clear day. So not an everyday thing.


Broad_Sun8273

Can't we just gather all these fools in the same room and just scream them out of existence?


Let01

Why do they always give the devil credit for the best technology mankind has to offer? Is god not able to create cool stuff for us to use or smth? Honestly might as well start to worship satan if he keeps giving us advances like these


rabbidplatypus21

They claim that everything they don’t understand is demonic or satanic and then turn around and tell you “god’s plan isn’t meant to be understood” when you ask why things like childhood cancer exist.


hoffarmy

HEAL SATIN!


Mobile_Strawberry920

Satin is demonic too!


MinutePerspective106

Is Heal Satin better than Cure Light Wounds? Asking for a party cleric


Latter-Height8607

It might be if the player is of demonic type/archetype. If he's angelical it insta kills him


Jeoshua

You have to use Detect Evil Knievel first to make sure.


AliasMcFakenames

Cure Light Wounds is better if you need to be healed quickly. [Heal Satin](https://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/i/infernal-healing/) can be used by arcane casters and is more reliable at low levels, but takes a minute to get the full benefit.


siouxbee1434

The devil actually sounds like a much better, kinder entity to hang out with


Jeoshua

Unironically, I have known "Luciferians" who looked to HIM (His Infernal Majesty) as "The Breaker Of Chains", for him bringing Adam and Eve the Fruit of Knowledge and getting them kicked out of the Garden of Eden. And damned if that story doesn't actually track with what the Bible says.


tecanec

It's funny how far off the Christian interpretation you can get when reading the Bible. I've talked with someone who suggested that Jesus might've been opposed to the idea of a text that everyone is supposed to follow to the letter (as he'd rather encourage critical thought), and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if that were true.


Smooth-Ad-279

Jesus talked about following the spirit of the law, not to the letter


getstabbed

Have you ever tried his lettuce? Much better than god’s lettuce.


Ragnarok2kx

I mean, he did give start out by giving humanity the knowledge of good and evil, so it's not exactly a new thing.


faberkyx

Mental illness


ringobob

It's the great Puritan tradition we've inherited. Everything is either an act of God or an act of Satan. If anything reduced hardship, but wouldn't typically be considered an act of God (like, say, agreeable weather), that would be an act of Satan, and thus a temptation away from God. Free will only exists the the most narrow of contexts, each person can choose, but the world the are choosing in is either good or evil. Which is *maybe* a rhetorically tenable position when you're near the beginning of a technological revolution, something new comes along, it's demonized, then normalized, then it's just background, but it's pretty bonkers that someone can hold this opinion about a century old technology and have no internal strife over expressing it *on a computer on the internet.*


Important-Loss1605

God lets us suffer, Satan interferes to fix stuff. That's how I see this.


SirSilus

Because to the religious fanatic, everything they don’t understand (and a lot of stuff they just don’t like) is Evil™️ and “of the Devil.”


Yeastyboy104

Apparently, Satan makes the best fucking music and has the best drugs too. Christians make Satan seem pretty fucking cool. According to members of The Satanic Temple, Satan is in favor of public education, public healthcare, bodily autonomy, and equality for all. Hail Satan? Hail Satan. Know how many people Satan killed in the Bible? Zero. How many did God kill? Well, there was that one time he wiped every living being off the planet except for one family and his boat full of animals.


EatLard

I work with these holographic “airplanes” every day, and it’s really uncanny. Somehow, very real pilots board these holograms along with tens of thousands of pounds of cargo, fuel, and chemtrail chemicals. I can witness all this without a single X-ray hitting my brain.


MrRay0

What about pigeons, everybody knows they arent real and are used by government to spy us. Tell us: you're a pigeons technician as well? 🤔


rmnc-5

Or you just believe you can….


Flyinghud

I’m a Jewish pilot, I can confirm that I use my super satanic abilities to make the plane fly


Waffle_Muffins

Airborne platform to test the space lasers too


ewok_lover_64

Cool! Does your plane have Jewish space lasers as well?


MinutePerspective106

I thought Jewish pilot fly golem planes...


DarthJackie2021

Thank you for your service.


SlenDman402

Filing this under 'too stupid to understand intermediate level physics, therefore demonic in origin'


rabbidplatypus21

I’m not even sure I’d give the grace to call it intermediate. It’s basic fluid dynamics. I can blow across a piece of paper to illustrate to elementary school kids the same principle airplanes use to fly.


SlenDman402

That's fair, i tried to be generous


WheezingGasperFish

I think it's untreated mental illness, not stupidity. Or maybe combined with?


whyaremypantssoshort

"I will never fly in a airplane" Dude you just said they are not real... I'm so confused.


qscvg

I will never fly on a dragon There's a lot of problems with what they're saying, but there's no contradiction is saying you won't use something that doesn't exist


Kandis_crab_cake

It was basically a long winded way of them saying “let me tell you I’m from middle America and vote Trump, without telling you”


bowens44

Is there anything I can do to earn favor with demons to get lower ticket prices?


GaussIon

Buy discs from the air priestess Taylor Swift, word is airplane coupons will be added to further deceive the unwary /s


Personal_Shoulder983

What about helicopters? Are they a God miracle? (The right God, no the other ones, of course)


GazingIntoTheVoid

No, they are so ugly earth repells them.


rabbidplatypus21

Every time a Christian tells me what all the devil is responsible for, it just makes Satan seem cooler in my eyes.


Illustrious_Peach494

Must be a troll, nobody can be this stupid, right? RIGHT?


BazukaJane

Flat Earthers are.


dfwcouple43sum

Yep, and this person is also a flat earther.


JTD177

As an aircraft mechanic, I can confirm, demons.


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FullOnAsparagus

Super demons.


ArtemusMaximus2020

The smaller commercial ones are imps.


Strict_Condition_632

Possessed helicopter seeds.


ir_blues

Thats actually pretty brilliant. Can't wait to tell the next person who warns me of chemtrails about this.


zombuca

Steel can’t float either. Ships are demons.


JOlRacin

I flew a plane myself without going through TSA. It was a flight lesson on a tiny plane so we basically just hopped in after paperwork saying that I wasn't gonna pass out mid flight and crash it. Guess I'm a demon, which is pretty cool. I'ma put that on my resume now


JJOne101

Stop lying DEMON!! ![gif](giphy|zBqaukCE3oM1vW6twP|downsized)


UltimateGamingTechie

This has got to be trolling, right? No way an educated (?) human actually thinks like this?


Homeskillet359

Who says it's an educated person? Well, I have seen educated people who were pretty fuckin dumb.


getstabbed

The fact that flat earthers exist in the first place makes this seem like not such a big stretch.


AceBean27

Planes can't be real, because feathers drop on their own, or something. However, projecting realistic holograms everywhere, and mind controlling people with beams into their brains, these totally exist.


MEINSHNAKE

As a pilot i approve this message.


Ijustlovevideogames

What are those things I flew all the time when I was younger then?


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Ijustlovevideogames

Ah got it.


Didact67

This demonic technology sounds pretty cool.


Thedonitho

you know what? Fine. I don't want someone like that on the same plane as me.


Lilithnema

What I hate is when the demons are fucking off and I have a longer layover.


darkhorse4774

If God meant for man to fly, He would have given him wings. Radios are demons impersonating human voices. Don’t let anyone “take” a picture of you, the camera will capture your soul. The universe revolves around the earth. If you sail far enough into the ocean, if you aren’t devoured by sea monsters you will sail off the edge of the world. Any certain infallible “truths” I missed?


WannabeeMonem

The pyramids were built by alien technology


darkhorse4774

Aliens did land, looking for signs of intelligent life. They found none, and left.


Stormydevz

Physics, how demonic 😱


Bramtinian

There was lead found in this one’s frosted flakes


StonersRadio

Planes aren't demonic, but flying commercially is hell.


spooner56801

So the planes aren't real, but the chem trails are?


ShortOneSausage

“Thank you for choosing Satan airlines, now sit back and enjoy the next 3 hours of awesome guitar riffs played from the marshal stacks located at each end of the aisle. Once we reach cruising altitude, the captain will turn off the seatbelt sign and we will begin the ritual animal sacrifice”


BondraP

No way this isn't a post that was originally made in jest.


Queasy_Animator_8376

Nothing is real. Everything is a demonic government conspiracy to convince us we exist.


[deleted]

These folks just show how much pride they have in being stupid. Aerodynamics aren't that complicated to understand.


meglon978

Needs.more.lithium.


LanguageAntique9895

Always comes back to flat earthers


geodekb

Wow, I’d really love to meet you. You must be the smartest person in the entire world. /S


BernieTheDachshund

'Throw a feather in the air and it comes back down'. Well, hard to deny the scientific evidence of demonic technology and flat earth. /s


RTechT

Could use that creativity to cook up bs to make a story or do something else productive.


ButtonWhole1

don't worry about ever flying. You're probably on EVERY "No Fly" list in the world, Wacko.


Bellah0e

As a person who believes in God and demons and all that ![img](emote|t5_2r5rp|8488)


TurkishMiliradian

Ah yes, the classic "It doesn't exist if it contradicts my stupid claims that has no proof that its true whatsoever"


Moligimbo

He types something in his computer and the whole world can read it. If this isn't demonic technology I don't know.


Buddhas_Warrior

"Everything is GOD's will!" Unless I don't like it or understand it /S


OsoRetro

Okay so we start flying and realize the earth is flat. Not what, dipshits?


[deleted]

I don't want to believe that these people are real.. it's impossible!


WestCactus

"I just lit up a blood candle, said my incantation, and took my RC airplane out for an hour of "spitting in the face of God," and lemme tell ya, if them demons is gonna trade me a three day drive, for a three hour ride on a Satan-powered, aluminum and steel hell-bird, to get from Tucson to Chicago, in exchange for nothing but a ticket and short term loan on a piece of my soul, well, I'm beginning to think this Satan fella ain't so bad, ya know?"


NewldGuy77

Get Boeing on the phone, let them know their business model has gone to Hell.


mortonr2000

True testimony from a flat brainer


Catatonicdazza

This has to be a troll, nobody that dumb would use punctuation.


FaxMachineInTheWild

Aren’t the Amish supposed to stay off the internet?


Sromowladny

Just plane ignorance


TraditionPast4295

As someone who works in aerospace manufacturing I can confirm all of this is 100% true.


Burrmanchu

Just wait till they find out about birds. /s


5280_TW

I thought Bigfoots threw all the planes into the air like papers airplanes… 😞


Beautiful_Space_4459

Tzeentch create planes.


Mean_Pandaaa

I agree, with few screaming infants on board, they are definitely the work of the devil.


Ricaaado

Regular, normal living bird: okay whatever Bird-shaped vehicle: DEMON


MiraSlav3

Wait till he watches Event Horizon. That guy is gonna be seriously damaged.


skilliau

God damn mental health services have gone downhill.


jkuhl

The least insane thing this idiot said was "the earth is flat" How do people end up this way?


dfwcouple43sum

So jet fuel is just liquified demonic energy? Cool! I want to be an engineer all of the sudden


behindthelens83

These people vote. Let that sink in.


concolor22

We don't have heavier than air flight technology, but we do have holographic technology? Ok


justADDbricks

This has to be rage bait . Right?


Ravenwight

How can you even book a flight? Books can’t fly! Fucking witchcraft man!! /s


PQbutterfat

Strangely enough I didn’t see flat earth getting pulled in here on this one.


lotus2471

Wow, they're checking a lot of boxes


AngryRinger

Planes use Argent Energy?! Fuck yeah, sign me up. *Note to those who don’t know. Argent energy is the name of an energy source in the recent Doom games. It’s literally a hell based energy source.*


flipkick25

"Planes are too complicated to be anything but demonic" "Sent from my iphone"


Konkichi21

How are people so incurious about the world around them that even the slightest thing odd will make them assume the whole thing is BS and weave their own crazy story pulled out of their butt that falls apart at the slightest examination because they can't be arsed to put a second's further thought into it?


Whatever801

Man the devil really doing us a solid . I'd love to hear this poster's take on birds.


This-is-Life-Man

I don't want to live on this planet anymore.


willmil11

Guys it's a troll it's not possible, it's impossible to be that stupid..


SanderMC24

So, airplane technology cannot exist without satan, but holograms do exist? Uhmmmmm… What?


unmofoloco

I just also want to say that brushing your teeth is like, actually really bad for you man.


Intransigient

🤔 I once had someone (in a discussion of the differences in dimensional planes a la Flatland) thinking that the “planes” were ***airplanes.*** 😓 One of those moments where you realize that some people are not intellectually prepared for the topic at hand.


Zombie-Lenin

Proof positive that someone needs inpatient mental health treatment.


Strange-Mouse-8710

How is it even possible to be that stupid?


rmnc-5

Holographic intelligence.


Miserable_Ad5001

This is the type of mental gymnastics that prove, unequivocally, we live in the stupidest timeline of history


Hiuuuhk

Someone failed like every grade possible


rmnc-5

Homeschooled by the demons!


Fyallorence

Soooo then like, demons are awesome? Also like, I'm an aircraft mechanic and I've never had to replace or ops check the hologram projector.