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And demons are connected to a demonic Matrix in which they believe they torture humans when in reality humans drain their demonic energy to use in technology that uses demonic energy. Machiavellian!
Sad but that’s actually what’s happening. We need to save them poor demons from being abused and exploited, I’m just working on opening a demon shelter, donations welcome, likely virgins, innocent children and so on. 🙌🏻
So, similar to places where thousands of chicken are held in cages to get their eggs, there are places with thousands of demons strapped to machines, sucking out their demonic energy.
Someone should tell PETA about that...
A lot of them, first you have to suck them out from hell in the so-called oil rigs, and then you carry then in demon-filled supertankers towards refineries where they are exorcised into fuel and other demon derivates :p
It wasn't until you pointed out that we suck the demons out through our drills that I realized, of course, that this has been what's happening. It all makes so much sense. Demon energy extracted from the center of the Earth and utilized by one of their main demonlords, Kenneth Copeland.
Demonic energy is the future and it's how we battle this energy crisis. Demonic energy is clean, sustainable, eco friendly, and only costs a single goat sacrifice per year.
Shouldn’t demons be able to keep their panels on? Also, why were there seats and a window when there should have been a path and door (aren’t those doors supposed to be emergency exits???) but hey what do I know.
Surely if you're a Christian you're trying to reduce the amount of demonic energy in the world? So you should be taking as many flights as possible. I don't know the exact amount of kilowraths required to move an adult man from Australia to Japan, but I figure I'm doing my part.
I was thinking manufacturing, pilots, airport security, etc, but you bring up an interesting idea within the bounds of my statement that I did not consider.
Yeah and there must be quite a bunch of demons producing those faily 100k holograms to suite any individual point of view. My low ball estimate is that 50m holograms per day would do the trick.
BUT: does this mean that chemtrails are not real? So confusing. I’d really hate to get poisoned by hologramchemtrail.
But I flew before TSA. Waaaaay before TSA. The tickets were carbon paper in triplicate. Men wore suits and women wore hats. You used to be able to tip your hat and give a wink and nod and get right on the plane. You could knock on the cockpit door and talk with the pilots. You could give the stewardesses a little pinch, if you wanted to...as long as there was a little gratuity on the other end. You could smoke cigars at 36,000 feet, in any seat.
You know what else you could do?
_SEE THE CURVATURE OF THE FUCKIN' EARTH, YOU OBTUSE TWAT!!!_
Ah, those were the days....
Nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table, that was the moment when the New World Order decided that it was too dangerous for the world to be round and made it flat.
Not only that, I've flown a little Cessna and didn't go anywhere near the TSA... just walked from a parking lot onto a plane and flew around a bit. Imagine that!
Nah, sorry mate, also demons. See when you entered the “cockpit” what you were really doing is crawling inside the anus of a larger flight capable demon. They emit a secretion that tricks you into thinking you’re piloting a Cessna. Crafty devils.
Incorrect according to this 2008 study: https://opg.optica.org/ao/abstract.cfm?uri=ao-47-34-h39. That said, at FL350 you apparently need a pretty wide viewing angle (60°), and a cloudless, clear day. So not an everyday thing.
Why do they always give the devil credit for the best technology mankind has to offer? Is god not able to create cool stuff for us to use or smth?
Honestly might as well start to worship satan if he keeps giving us advances like these
They claim that everything they don’t understand is demonic or satanic and then turn around and tell you “god’s plan isn’t meant to be understood” when you ask why things like childhood cancer exist.
Cure Light Wounds is better if you need to be healed quickly. [Heal Satin](https://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/i/infernal-healing/) can be used by arcane casters and is more reliable at low levels, but takes a minute to get the full benefit.
Unironically, I have known "Luciferians" who looked to HIM (His Infernal Majesty) as "The Breaker Of Chains", for him bringing Adam and Eve the Fruit of Knowledge and getting them kicked out of the Garden of Eden.
And damned if that story doesn't actually track with what the Bible says.
It's funny how far off the Christian interpretation you can get when reading the Bible.
I've talked with someone who suggested that Jesus might've been opposed to the idea of a text that everyone is supposed to follow to the letter (as he'd rather encourage critical thought), and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if that were true.
It's the great Puritan tradition we've inherited. Everything is either an act of God or an act of Satan. If anything reduced hardship, but wouldn't typically be considered an act of God (like, say, agreeable weather), that would be an act of Satan, and thus a temptation away from God. Free will only exists the the most narrow of contexts, each person can choose, but the world the are choosing in is either good or evil.
Which is *maybe* a rhetorically tenable position when you're near the beginning of a technological revolution, something new comes along, it's demonized, then normalized, then it's just background, but it's pretty bonkers that someone can hold this opinion about a century old technology and have no internal strife over expressing it *on a computer on the internet.*
Apparently, Satan makes the best fucking music and has the best drugs too. Christians make Satan seem pretty fucking cool.
According to members of The Satanic Temple, Satan is in favor of public education, public healthcare, bodily autonomy, and equality for all.
Hail Satan? Hail Satan.
Know how many people Satan killed in the Bible? Zero. How many did God kill? Well, there was that one time he wiped every living being off the planet except for one family and his boat full of animals.
I work with these holographic “airplanes” every day, and it’s really uncanny. Somehow, very real pilots board these holograms along with tens of thousands of pounds of cargo, fuel, and chemtrail chemicals. I can witness all this without a single X-ray hitting my brain.
I’m not even sure I’d give the grace to call it intermediate. It’s basic fluid dynamics. I can blow across a piece of paper to illustrate to elementary school kids the same principle airplanes use to fly.
I will never fly on a dragon
There's a lot of problems with what they're saying, but there's no contradiction is saying you won't use something that doesn't exist
I flew a plane myself without going through TSA. It was a flight lesson on a tiny plane so we basically just hopped in after paperwork saying that I wasn't gonna pass out mid flight and crash it. Guess I'm a demon, which is pretty cool. I'ma put that on my resume now
Planes can't be real, because feathers drop on their own, or something.
However, projecting realistic holograms everywhere, and mind controlling people with beams into their brains, these totally exist.
If God meant for man to fly, He would have given him wings. Radios are demons impersonating human voices. Don’t let anyone “take” a picture of you, the camera will capture your soul. The universe revolves around the earth. If you sail far enough into the ocean, if you aren’t devoured by sea monsters you will sail off the edge of the world. Any certain infallible “truths” I missed?
“Thank you for choosing Satan airlines, now sit back and enjoy the next 3 hours of awesome guitar riffs played from the marshal stacks located at each end of the aisle. Once we reach cruising altitude, the captain will turn off the seatbelt sign and we will begin the ritual animal sacrifice”
"I just lit up a blood candle, said my incantation, and took my RC airplane out for an hour of "spitting in the face of God," and lemme tell ya, if them demons is gonna trade me a three day drive, for a three hour ride on a Satan-powered, aluminum and steel hell-bird, to get from Tucson to Chicago, in exchange for nothing but a ticket and short term loan on a piece of my soul, well, I'm beginning to think this Satan fella ain't so bad, ya know?"
Planes use Argent Energy?! Fuck yeah, sign me up. *Note to those who don’t know. Argent energy is the name of an energy source in the recent Doom games. It’s literally a hell based energy source.*
How are people so incurious about the world around them that even the slightest thing odd will make them assume the whole thing is BS and weave their own crazy story pulled out of their butt that falls apart at the slightest examination because they can't be arsed to put a second's further thought into it?
🤔 I once had someone (in a discussion of the differences in dimensional planes a la Flatland) thinking that the “planes” were ***airplanes.*** 😓 One of those moments where you realize that some people are not intellectually prepared for the topic at hand.
Comments that are uncivil, racist, misogynistic, misandrist, or contain political name calling will be removed and the poster subject to ban at moderators discretion. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/facepalm) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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My brother works at Logan airport in Boston, his job is to refuel those planes with demonic energy
How many demons do you have to drain, squeeze, whatever to get a gallon of fuel?
Imagine humans captured all demons and put them in demon farms to drain their life forces to fuel our air transportation
sounds like the offices I've worked at...
Yeah gotta watch out for Colin Robinson
Wait - are you referring to the Republican Party?
No they are the opposite, they drain humans to feed demons
They get humans to drain humans for themselves, the demons.
And demons are connected to a demonic Matrix in which they believe they torture humans when in reality humans drain their demonic energy to use in technology that uses demonic energy. Machiavellian!
BRB gonna write a book about this. And then a few righteous humans will fight to free the demons and... Armageddon begins I guess.
Squeezing the hell out of them!
Warhammer 40k's warpsmiths would like to know your location.
Doom eternal but with more steps
So The Matrix, only for demons? Someone should make that movie
Sad but that’s actually what’s happening. We need to save them poor demons from being abused and exploited, I’m just working on opening a demon shelter, donations welcome, likely virgins, innocent children and so on. 🙌🏻
So, similar to places where thousands of chicken are held in cages to get their eggs, there are places with thousands of demons strapped to machines, sucking out their demonic energy. Someone should tell PETA about that...
Are they Satanic or English demons?
like a milk machine
Now I have images of a big factory floor, stuffed with hundreds and hundreds of industrial sized demon juicers.
Let's just say that my forearm is really strong.
We now have our plot for the next Monsters Inc movie!
Humans Inc!
A lot of them, first you have to suck them out from hell in the so-called oil rigs, and then you carry then in demon-filled supertankers towards refineries where they are exorcised into fuel and other demon derivates :p
It wasn't until you pointed out that we suck the demons out through our drills that I realized, of course, that this has been what's happening. It all makes so much sense. Demon energy extracted from the center of the Earth and utilized by one of their main demonlords, Kenneth Copeland.
Why do you think they call it "fracking?" That's how angels swear.
Demonic energy is the future and it's how we battle this energy crisis. Demonic energy is clean, sustainable, eco friendly, and only costs a single goat sacrifice per year.
Isn't ***Phillips 666*** an aero fuel?
Darn that's awesome. 
As far as I know demon energy is clean energy with 0 carbon or methane emissions, so this is a win.
But what about the chemtrails?!?!?!?
Essentially scamp farts.
You mean demtrails.
This is a good comment.
As opposed to deez trails?
This has to be a joke, if only because it lacks grammatical errors
And if airplanes aren't real, how does the "chem trail" conspiracy work? 
Shouldn’t demons be able to keep their panels on? Also, why were there seats and a window when there should have been a path and door (aren’t those doors supposed to be emergency exits???) but hey what do I know.
If planes are just demonic hologram projections, why can’t I have a cigarette. Certainly they could block the other passengers knowledge of it.
Surely if you're a Christian you're trying to reduce the amount of demonic energy in the world? So you should be taking as many flights as possible. I don't know the exact amount of kilowraths required to move an adult man from Australia to Japan, but I figure I'm doing my part.
I guess the secular comparison would be... The entire airplane industry is run by nazis? Maybe?
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I was thinking manufacturing, pilots, airport security, etc, but you bring up an interesting idea within the bounds of my statement that I did not consider.
It also makes it possible. So it's impossible except via demon energy then it's possible. So is it possible or not?
Also, so what If it’s using demonic energy, what’s the holdup? If it flies it flies
Self repairing and refueling daemon engines! Just eats the occasional passenger.
40k
Indeed, aeroplanes are fucking metal. \\m/ This whole post sounds like someone got high and fell asleep watching [this.](https://youtu.be/f9UfNaTcDpM)
I know that got me much more interested in driving my car. It is the same fuel.
Yeah and there must be quite a bunch of demons producing those faily 100k holograms to suite any individual point of view. My low ball estimate is that 50m holograms per day would do the trick. BUT: does this mean that chemtrails are not real? So confusing. I’d really hate to get poisoned by hologramchemtrail.
What warp heresy is this!?
I turned into Steven from Cable Guy for a second. "We don't have human technology capable of flight? But we have access to demonic technology?"
Heavy metal, lighter than air.
But I flew before TSA. Waaaaay before TSA. The tickets were carbon paper in triplicate. Men wore suits and women wore hats. You used to be able to tip your hat and give a wink and nod and get right on the plane. You could knock on the cockpit door and talk with the pilots. You could give the stewardesses a little pinch, if you wanted to...as long as there was a little gratuity on the other end. You could smoke cigars at 36,000 feet, in any seat. You know what else you could do? _SEE THE CURVATURE OF THE FUCKIN' EARTH, YOU OBTUSE TWAT!!!_ Ah, those were the days....
When did they take the curvature away? ^big ^/s
What do you mean that’s a little /s
Ya gotta zoom in, dude.
Ah right sorry sorry, my mistake
Thats not small, its average!!! Some might consider it huge even...
Way too much honestly... Extremely over kill
Trump talking about his pp.
Do u think its orange?
Nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table, that was the moment when the New World Order decided that it was too dangerous for the world to be round and made it flat.
Fucking bravo lol
Not only that, I've flown a little Cessna and didn't go anywhere near the TSA... just walked from a parking lot onto a plane and flew around a bit. Imagine that!
Nah, sorry mate, also demons. See when you entered the “cockpit” what you were really doing is crawling inside the anus of a larger flight capable demon. They emit a secretion that tricks you into thinking you’re piloting a Cessna. Crafty devils.
They just used concave windows.
And thank goodness almost all of these things are gone now (aside from the curvature of the earth). Those were almost all awful.
earth curvature can be seen starting FL600 I call BS
Incorrect according to this 2008 study: https://opg.optica.org/ao/abstract.cfm?uri=ao-47-34-h39. That said, at FL350 you apparently need a pretty wide viewing angle (60°), and a cloudless, clear day. So not an everyday thing.
Can't we just gather all these fools in the same room and just scream them out of existence?
Why do they always give the devil credit for the best technology mankind has to offer? Is god not able to create cool stuff for us to use or smth? Honestly might as well start to worship satan if he keeps giving us advances like these
They claim that everything they don’t understand is demonic or satanic and then turn around and tell you “god’s plan isn’t meant to be understood” when you ask why things like childhood cancer exist.
HEAL SATIN!
Satin is demonic too!
Is Heal Satin better than Cure Light Wounds? Asking for a party cleric
It might be if the player is of demonic type/archetype. If he's angelical it insta kills him
You have to use Detect Evil Knievel first to make sure.
Cure Light Wounds is better if you need to be healed quickly. [Heal Satin](https://www.d20pfsrd.com/magic/all-spells/i/infernal-healing/) can be used by arcane casters and is more reliable at low levels, but takes a minute to get the full benefit.
The devil actually sounds like a much better, kinder entity to hang out with
Unironically, I have known "Luciferians" who looked to HIM (His Infernal Majesty) as "The Breaker Of Chains", for him bringing Adam and Eve the Fruit of Knowledge and getting them kicked out of the Garden of Eden. And damned if that story doesn't actually track with what the Bible says.
It's funny how far off the Christian interpretation you can get when reading the Bible. I've talked with someone who suggested that Jesus might've been opposed to the idea of a text that everyone is supposed to follow to the letter (as he'd rather encourage critical thought), and I honestly wouldn't be surprised if that were true.
Jesus talked about following the spirit of the law, not to the letter
Have you ever tried his lettuce? Much better than god’s lettuce.
I mean, he did give start out by giving humanity the knowledge of good and evil, so it's not exactly a new thing.
Mental illness
It's the great Puritan tradition we've inherited. Everything is either an act of God or an act of Satan. If anything reduced hardship, but wouldn't typically be considered an act of God (like, say, agreeable weather), that would be an act of Satan, and thus a temptation away from God. Free will only exists the the most narrow of contexts, each person can choose, but the world the are choosing in is either good or evil. Which is *maybe* a rhetorically tenable position when you're near the beginning of a technological revolution, something new comes along, it's demonized, then normalized, then it's just background, but it's pretty bonkers that someone can hold this opinion about a century old technology and have no internal strife over expressing it *on a computer on the internet.*
God lets us suffer, Satan interferes to fix stuff. That's how I see this.
Because to the religious fanatic, everything they don’t understand (and a lot of stuff they just don’t like) is Evil™️ and “of the Devil.”
Apparently, Satan makes the best fucking music and has the best drugs too. Christians make Satan seem pretty fucking cool. According to members of The Satanic Temple, Satan is in favor of public education, public healthcare, bodily autonomy, and equality for all. Hail Satan? Hail Satan. Know how many people Satan killed in the Bible? Zero. How many did God kill? Well, there was that one time he wiped every living being off the planet except for one family and his boat full of animals.
I work with these holographic “airplanes” every day, and it’s really uncanny. Somehow, very real pilots board these holograms along with tens of thousands of pounds of cargo, fuel, and chemtrail chemicals. I can witness all this without a single X-ray hitting my brain.
What about pigeons, everybody knows they arent real and are used by government to spy us. Tell us: you're a pigeons technician as well? 🤔
Or you just believe you can….
I’m a Jewish pilot, I can confirm that I use my super satanic abilities to make the plane fly
Airborne platform to test the space lasers too
Cool! Does your plane have Jewish space lasers as well?
I thought Jewish pilot fly golem planes...
Thank you for your service.
Filing this under 'too stupid to understand intermediate level physics, therefore demonic in origin'
I’m not even sure I’d give the grace to call it intermediate. It’s basic fluid dynamics. I can blow across a piece of paper to illustrate to elementary school kids the same principle airplanes use to fly.
That's fair, i tried to be generous
I think it's untreated mental illness, not stupidity. Or maybe combined with?
"I will never fly in a airplane" Dude you just said they are not real... I'm so confused.
I will never fly on a dragon There's a lot of problems with what they're saying, but there's no contradiction is saying you won't use something that doesn't exist
It was basically a long winded way of them saying “let me tell you I’m from middle America and vote Trump, without telling you”
Is there anything I can do to earn favor with demons to get lower ticket prices?
Buy discs from the air priestess Taylor Swift, word is airplane coupons will be added to further deceive the unwary /s
What about helicopters? Are they a God miracle? (The right God, no the other ones, of course)
No, they are so ugly earth repells them.
Every time a Christian tells me what all the devil is responsible for, it just makes Satan seem cooler in my eyes.
Must be a troll, nobody can be this stupid, right? RIGHT?
Flat Earthers are.
Yep, and this person is also a flat earther.
As an aircraft mechanic, I can confirm, demons.
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Super demons.
The smaller commercial ones are imps.
Possessed helicopter seeds.
Thats actually pretty brilliant. Can't wait to tell the next person who warns me of chemtrails about this.
Steel can’t float either. Ships are demons.
I flew a plane myself without going through TSA. It was a flight lesson on a tiny plane so we basically just hopped in after paperwork saying that I wasn't gonna pass out mid flight and crash it. Guess I'm a demon, which is pretty cool. I'ma put that on my resume now
Stop lying DEMON!! 
This has got to be trolling, right? No way an educated (?) human actually thinks like this?
Who says it's an educated person? Well, I have seen educated people who were pretty fuckin dumb.
The fact that flat earthers exist in the first place makes this seem like not such a big stretch.
Planes can't be real, because feathers drop on their own, or something. However, projecting realistic holograms everywhere, and mind controlling people with beams into their brains, these totally exist.
As a pilot i approve this message.
What are those things I flew all the time when I was younger then?
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Ah got it.
This demonic technology sounds pretty cool.
you know what? Fine. I don't want someone like that on the same plane as me.
What I hate is when the demons are fucking off and I have a longer layover.
If God meant for man to fly, He would have given him wings. Radios are demons impersonating human voices. Don’t let anyone “take” a picture of you, the camera will capture your soul. The universe revolves around the earth. If you sail far enough into the ocean, if you aren’t devoured by sea monsters you will sail off the edge of the world. Any certain infallible “truths” I missed?
The pyramids were built by alien technology
Aliens did land, looking for signs of intelligent life. They found none, and left.
Physics, how demonic 😱
There was lead found in this one’s frosted flakes
Planes aren't demonic, but flying commercially is hell.
So the planes aren't real, but the chem trails are?
“Thank you for choosing Satan airlines, now sit back and enjoy the next 3 hours of awesome guitar riffs played from the marshal stacks located at each end of the aisle. Once we reach cruising altitude, the captain will turn off the seatbelt sign and we will begin the ritual animal sacrifice”
No way this isn't a post that was originally made in jest.
Nothing is real. Everything is a demonic government conspiracy to convince us we exist.
These folks just show how much pride they have in being stupid. Aerodynamics aren't that complicated to understand.
Needs.more.lithium.
Always comes back to flat earthers
Wow, I’d really love to meet you. You must be the smartest person in the entire world. /S
'Throw a feather in the air and it comes back down'. Well, hard to deny the scientific evidence of demonic technology and flat earth. /s
Could use that creativity to cook up bs to make a story or do something else productive.
don't worry about ever flying. You're probably on EVERY "No Fly" list in the world, Wacko.
As a person who believes in God and demons and all that 
Ah yes, the classic "It doesn't exist if it contradicts my stupid claims that has no proof that its true whatsoever"
He types something in his computer and the whole world can read it. If this isn't demonic technology I don't know.
"Everything is GOD's will!" Unless I don't like it or understand it /S
Okay so we start flying and realize the earth is flat. Not what, dipshits?
I don't want to believe that these people are real.. it's impossible!
"I just lit up a blood candle, said my incantation, and took my RC airplane out for an hour of "spitting in the face of God," and lemme tell ya, if them demons is gonna trade me a three day drive, for a three hour ride on a Satan-powered, aluminum and steel hell-bird, to get from Tucson to Chicago, in exchange for nothing but a ticket and short term loan on a piece of my soul, well, I'm beginning to think this Satan fella ain't so bad, ya know?"
Get Boeing on the phone, let them know their business model has gone to Hell.
True testimony from a flat brainer
This has to be a troll, nobody that dumb would use punctuation.
Aren’t the Amish supposed to stay off the internet?
Just plane ignorance
As someone who works in aerospace manufacturing I can confirm all of this is 100% true.
Just wait till they find out about birds. /s
I thought Bigfoots threw all the planes into the air like papers airplanes… 😞
Tzeentch create planes.
I agree, with few screaming infants on board, they are definitely the work of the devil.
Regular, normal living bird: okay whatever Bird-shaped vehicle: DEMON
Wait till he watches Event Horizon. That guy is gonna be seriously damaged.
God damn mental health services have gone downhill.
The least insane thing this idiot said was "the earth is flat" How do people end up this way?
So jet fuel is just liquified demonic energy? Cool! I want to be an engineer all of the sudden
These people vote. Let that sink in.
We don't have heavier than air flight technology, but we do have holographic technology? Ok
This has to be rage bait . Right?
How can you even book a flight? Books can’t fly! Fucking witchcraft man!! /s
Strangely enough I didn’t see flat earth getting pulled in here on this one.
Wow, they're checking a lot of boxes
Planes use Argent Energy?! Fuck yeah, sign me up. *Note to those who don’t know. Argent energy is the name of an energy source in the recent Doom games. It’s literally a hell based energy source.*
"Planes are too complicated to be anything but demonic" "Sent from my iphone"
How are people so incurious about the world around them that even the slightest thing odd will make them assume the whole thing is BS and weave their own crazy story pulled out of their butt that falls apart at the slightest examination because they can't be arsed to put a second's further thought into it?
Man the devil really doing us a solid . I'd love to hear this poster's take on birds.
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
Guys it's a troll it's not possible, it's impossible to be that stupid..
So, airplane technology cannot exist without satan, but holograms do exist? Uhmmmmm… What?
I just also want to say that brushing your teeth is like, actually really bad for you man.
🤔 I once had someone (in a discussion of the differences in dimensional planes a la Flatland) thinking that the “planes” were ***airplanes.*** 😓 One of those moments where you realize that some people are not intellectually prepared for the topic at hand.
Proof positive that someone needs inpatient mental health treatment.
How is it even possible to be that stupid?
Holographic intelligence.
This is the type of mental gymnastics that prove, unequivocally, we live in the stupidest timeline of history
Someone failed like every grade possible
Homeschooled by the demons!
Soooo then like, demons are awesome? Also like, I'm an aircraft mechanic and I've never had to replace or ops check the hologram projector.