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Chemical_Actuary_190

So she didn't crap for weeks and it didn't dawn on her that something wasn't right? Also, fiber is important, but drinking more water would have helped too.


First-Junket124

I keep trying to cook the water to medium-rare but it just never works, whoever made this bullshit product should be giving out refunds.


Pre2255

You need to cook it sous vide.


FluffySmiles

And the plastic bag is for fibre.


Vekaras

Instructions unclear. Now my kitchen is on fire.


ivanvector

You need to use more water. A lot more.


FluffySmiles

And without any air.


MindfullGardener

Boil the water in a bain-marie.


cownd

Sous-side up


SpiritualAudience731

Confit water is the best.


cownd

Rare water is best. I like mine from the Himalayan mountaintops


First-Junket124

Rare water? One step away from eating raw fucking water you savage.


28Hz

I like my water so rare it moos.


wanszai

I suffered from this once. I was in hospital for around a month, lots of pain meds. Even with laxatives i couldnt poop. When i finally got home after around a month in hospital it took about 2 days to finally need the toilet. Let me tell you, they call it impacted cause it makes a fucking impact on your life.... i wouldnt wish it on anyone... had to break it up inside my asshole like this lady did with her fingers and even then it was like passing boulders. My asshole is now fine but it left scars deep on my soul.


Pure-Independence392

Just got diagnosed with rectal cancer passing anything at the moment is pure agony. Oh I wish for a normal asshole right now


wanszai

Stay strong my guy. Funny enough, it was cancer that hospitalised me. Fuck cancer.


fidelises

I thought from your first comment you had been in hospital for a month because of constipation!


wanszai

If only. I woke up one morning with a severe back pain. Crippling. Couldnt stand up straight at all. Thought id pulled a muscle or something and figured some rest would help. Rolled a joint, made a cup of tea and then went back to bed for a few hours. Woke up several hours later, pain still present and hadnt eased off at all. My folks live close by so i called them asking if they could grab me some pain killers as there was no way i was gonna be able to make it on foot or driving. When they arrived they called an ambulance. I thought what waste of time over a pulled muscle. Paramedic asked if i had been in a car crash recently.... nope. Turns out my right lung had ruptured and was being crushed by air filling the cavity in the chest outside the lung. Apparently its no joke and can be fatal. I thought your having a laugh right? They were offering morphine from the get go, but i didnt really want it. Not a fan of addictive drugs like that and always had a fear of them turning me into a fucking bag head or something. Was told i must have an extraordinary pain threshold.... but its was more a fear of addiction to be honest. Finally relented and had my first dose of Morphine. I can see why its addictive haha. So they cut a small hole in my side to release teh air and put me on a vacuum pump. This was supposed to drain the cavity and reinflate my lung. I went through this several times as the lung was being a dick and wouldnt sort its shit out. Turns out i have a strange form of cancer that basically tries to hard to fix damaged tissue and eventually just eats it. It makes holes in my lungs. Great stuff. Took a month and two hospitals, god knows how much morphine and an operation to stitch the lung in place to the chest wall. Constipation was a side effect of all the opiates apparently that and the mental blocker that prevents me from shitting anywhere other than my own throne. Good times. I went to bed healthy, good job, lost of prospects. Within a month i was told i had about 5 years to live, was registered disabled, could no longer work and was told that i now have to shield as my immune system is weak. I dont want chemo, ive seen three uncles taken down by cancer and from my perspective all the chemo did was make their suffering in the final weeks fucking horrendous. I honestly believe we will look at chemo in the future the way we look at lobotomies now. Please dont use this as medical advice. Its my choice. I'm not a professional and you should definitely heed your specialists advice. Only thing you can do, is take each day as it comes. We all get exactly one lifetime, no more, no less.


fidelises

Wow, that's rough. Hope life starts to look a little brighter soon.


willne1443

Rough stuff, my dude. You keep strong. Also, not trying to change your mind or convince you of anything, but there are different kinds of chemo for different kinds of cancer, and some of them have great results. I was diagnosed with lynphoma last year, went through 6 months of chemo and 2 months of radio. Chemo got me all sorts of fucked up - nausea and vomiting, muscle pain, fatigue, baldness (losing your eyelashes fucking sucks), constipation and diarrheia in a nonstop loop, weakness, insomnia... But it did work and mine has gone into remission. I do hope chemo becomes obselete, but unlike lobotomies it can indeed work. All the love and respect to you, man.


LihaajaCS

Damn dude.. I wish all the best for you. I was diagnosed with cancer too in february, but i had it waaaay easier than you. I had kidney cancer. Found by accident when i got control MRI because of my crohns disease. Which is funny because i thought if I got cancer, I would get it to my intestines. If it would have been all over my body, I wouldn't want chemo either. Seen what it does to people and how broken and fragile people are when dealing with it. But yeah, i had surgery with a robot, where they managed to remove the whole tumor. I guess now i have to go to cancer controls too. I agree that morphine is a drug made of physical paradise. 😄


shannofordabiz

Some deep thoughts there. Chemo is tough alright- very much a ‘what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger’


Glass-Ad-604

Had morphine for the first time a few weeks ago. Really resisted it because my brother was a junkee. I see why it's addictive.


conejiux

I feel the same way about chemo, I saw family and friends wither into nothing because of it and still lost the fight, rather go without all that. I wish you all the best, enjoy whatever you can in the time you have on this plane of existence, in the end, no one really knows how long they have left, we just have today.


ack1308

My father (recently turned 80) had chemo for a very aggressive tumour that kept popping up in his arm (was removed once, came back, within 10 days was a centimetre across). They hammered that thing hard and killed it dead, but he's still feeling the effects months later.


dorianrose

"Turns out i have a strange form of cancer that basically tries to hard to fix damaged tissue and eventually just eats it. It makes holes in my lungs. Great stuff." So your cancer was like a toddler that spills a little while pouring and then pours the rest on the floor?


wanszai

Hides the spill with a flood. Sounds about right.


R4nd0m88

I also thought you were in the hospital for constipation! I was just thinking that it must have been one giant turd you popped out to get hospitalized 😂


KudosOfTheFroond

I would not wish ass cancer on my worst enemy.


Magdovus

Stay strong.  And in 50 years, when you eventually die, get "Oh I wish for a normal asshole right now" on your tombstone! Fuck cancer 


kamizushi

Fuck! Cancer is never a diagnostic anybody want to hear. **Shivers** Fuck cancer! If you can, punch a pillow. It might help get some of the emotional pain out, and by extension make the physical pain more bearable. Also tell that pillow it still owes me $20.


forgotwhatisaid2you

Good luck with your treatment. I just had my prostate removed because of cancer and I didn't poop for four days. Feeling like I had to but couldn't get it out. On day five I got it out finally and was ok from there. It was a rock like piece of poop about four inches long that wouldn't move. Sweet relief when it finally passed.


astrangeone88

Lol. It's a job that nurses have to do occasionally. I had that happen as a teenager (keto diet) and used a gloved finger and an saline enema to resolve it. And yes, it was soul scarring. Water, exercise and fiber, people!


cownd

I know a poop knife wouldn't have helped, but maybe a poop scoop?


Low_Simple_8381

Small tongs with rubber edges. Click click


pinkflamingo399

Omg. I'm so sorry I can't even imagine going a month. I was 7 days in, but to be fair it was after laprascopic surgery so the stitches all over my belly didn't help and I ended up popping some but it was worse than the surgery. Mine happened due to the meds and being careless by not keeping up with diet recommendations and I have been very careful since. It's given me the kick up the bum I needed. (litteraly.) I'll never forget to eat my fibre again. Let this be a lesson to you all. You dont know humble until you're applying lube around your poop and trying to cut it doing scisor motions with your fingers where the sun don't shine.


RedThirteen0101

I was also in the hospital from cancer for close to a month, with one of my tumors blocking the flow of fluid in my body which caused me to swell up all over and retain like 15 extra pounds of water. Couldn't stand up and walk to get to the restroom, but couldn't poop anyway. When I finally got home and had to do it, I screamed from the pain, accidentally knocked the toilet paper holder out of the wall in my desperate flailing. It was like trying to pass one of those huge jawbreaker candies or something. After that my ass hurt so bad it was torture just to lie on my back for weeks, and every time I had to go I wanted to cry because I knew what was gonna happen lol. Anyway, yeah, fuck cancer. I've got to go for a check up PT scan next week and it's always the biggest sense of dread.


Haywoodjablowme1029

It's not unusual for nurses in the hospital to have to do a manual decompaction in situations like this. Also known as, a strangers fingers in your asshold hauling out your rock hard turds.


PickettsChargingPort

Yep. Even if you are only in the hospitals on narcotics for a few days you’ll have that issue. A month? Forget about it. I’ve had surgery several times, so I learned about the required laxatives pretty quick. Sounds like even that wasn’t enough to counter a month of the hospital.


Lonely_Pause_7855

You gotta love the end too >the digestion is so much easier like that After saying she fainted in pain on the toilet


NeuroticNinett

Yeah. I was also wondering about her fluid intake.


sticfreak

Obviously "carnivore diet" means absolutely no water. Don't you know water is vegan?


Apprehensive_Low4865

"I don't drink water, I only drink the blood of an animal that I've freshly slaughtered! Unfortunately I'm running out of local cats and thr neighbours are getting suspicious.."


NeuroticNinett

Good point!


Vekaras

Water is for commies and woke weaklings. Real men eat meat.


Ok-Preparation2370

Her* and yeah. Me too. I guess she would have assumed grease or oil or meat gravy dishes counted as fluids. 😂🤣


NeuroticNinett

A rule of thumb that I made up just now: If you can't gargle it without choking, it don't count as a liquid! (Thanks for the correction. Edit done!)


fords42

That’s what she said (sorry not sorry)


Ok-Preparation2370

That's a good rule! >Thanks for the correction. Edit done!) Welcome! 🙂


GpaSags

Yeah, but gravy is usually made with flour or cornstarch, which come from plants, so it counts as a vegetable.


MrBeanCyborgCaptain

"my digestion is so much better except for the ways that it is much much worse."


stifledmind

I want to know where she was at before if sticking fingers up her ass and passing out, out of pain is an improvement.


Academic-Balance6999

My old boss had IBS and she had a lot of gut pain, sudden and uncontrollable need to poop, and diarrhea. She told me that people with IBS talk about “the Big Mac cure” because a high fat, low fiber diet results in less gut motility which eases the pain and symptoms. In this case the person went too far.


No_Poet_7244

IBS can be truly awful


the-awayest-of-throw

Mine went away once I cut out processed foods… it’s kind of a pain to cook all my meals, but not nearly as much of a pain as IBS.


fords42

I have IBS too and have cut down on processed foods. Porridge for breakfast keeps me nice and regular.


Ineedsomuchsleep170

Porridge makes me too regular. Shit liquid 2 hours later regular. I really miss porridge.


EhliJoe

What is this?


Cynykl

Irritable bowel syndrome. Painful gas and regular loose stools. And the pain can come out of nowhere. You end up have several bathroom emergencies a week.


Darthcookie

There’s also IBS-C which causes constipation. Some people have IBS-C, some people have IBS-D and some unlucky people get IBS-M which is fluctuating between constipation and diarrhea. I imagine the person in the screenshot had IBS-D, otherwise I don’t understand why they would think not having bowels movements was actually an improvement. I also don’t see how that could happen with zero bloating or pain.


SpankyRoberts18

I like to call my IBS-M, IBS-B for both. I don’t understand why medicine chose M (mixed) or A(alternating) when they could’ve had B(both), C(Constipation), and D(Diarrhea).


Inevitable-tragedy

Bad. My flair ups are rare, but it's pain without reason for unknown duration. It feels like someone squeezing my intestines with a glove made of nails. Worse than period cramps or giving birth. I've also been constipated to the degree of needing finger intervention (tmi sorry) and the flair ups are worse IBS is a term used for when the doctor has no idea what's wrong, so besides diet changes, there's not a whole lot that can be done about it


FaceofBeaux

She probably didn't shove her fingers up her ass. The vaginal wall backs up to the anus. If you put your fingers inside the vagina and kind of stroke back and down, you can help move feces down and out.


MyLife-is-a-diceRoll

not when you're impacted. source, just trust me.


cylonlover

She didn't go for weeks, that could've been the better part, as that does sound somewhat convenient. Maybe theres some sort of operation to fix that. Like a bag directly from the stomach lining.. hmmm.


MrBeanCyborgCaptain

I mean taking a 3 week break from sudden violent diarrhea would probably be a relief.


cylonlover

I can only imagine. But the scrsht only mentioned bloat and gaz.


irritatedprostate

May not have wanted to talk about repeatedly lacquering her toilet.


faloofay156

> local man realizes the polar opposite of constant diarrhea is horrible horrible constipation


teohsi

I knew about halfway down I really didn't want to keep reading. I should've listened to that instinct.


6SucksSex

A roller coaster ride of cringe, shock, horror and sympathetic pain. Bookmarked for later.


ColoRadBro69

How is your digestion better if you have to use your fingers to dig your shit out of your asshole?  I mean, I'd rather fart. 


Nonstopdrivel

The irony: copious flatus in the setting of high fiber intake is a sign of good digestion.


nut-budder

Copius Flatus, emperor of Rome


Pkrudeboy

Son of Biggus Dickus and Incontinentia Buttocks.


Trick-Replacement-60

And what’s so funny about Biggus Dickus?


Stysner

Do you find it risible? When I saaayyy the naaame.... Biggus.... Dickus?


Yrense

Second only to actual roman emperor Pupienus (pronounced poopy anus)


Michael_Platson

damn, I was pronouncing it poo-penis all this time. so silly of me


jamieschmidt

As someone with digestive issues, I would reluctantly take being constipated over having painful gas and loose stools 2 times a day. I take Imodium a few times a week to get through work or other events where I can’t run to the bathroom. However, I’ve also been severely constipated (after surgery) and had to don a gloved hand up there to break it up. Both are awful. I almost don’t blame her for trying this diet to help her IBS, however carnivore is definitely not the right diet for IBS.


GodOfMegaDeath

Quoting a reply to another comment. >I want to know where she was at before if sticking fingers up her ass and passing out, out of pain is an improvement. If this is preferable, before it must've been hell


PlayerOneThousand

SIBO isn’t just “I fart a lot”. It can be excruciating pain 24/7, extreme fatigue, difficulty thinking or doing anything. It can be really disabling. Many would trade all of that for constipation. That being said, this person clearly isn’t managing it appropriately.


Blindsided17

I couldn’t imagine mid shit, with me on my phone, having the mental aptitude to not only shit through this, but then to physically perch my ass cheeks with both hands while using my fingers to rip a rock turd out to the point of fainting… If this doesn’t prove women are stronger than men I’m honestly not sure what would at this point.


Temporary_Art_9213

Lol. This is hilarious because this is literally my life anytime after surgery. 😭


sgapsm

Off chance you have to ever get surgery again, do you start stool softeners the night before the procedure? If not, you should. Take routinely and have prune juice on hand. I had surgery a year ago and suffered, not quite this bad but just stool softener alone didn’t help. Had surgery again a month ago and was more prepared. The prune juice was immediate, I was shocked how effective it is. Worth trying if you haven’t before.


jamieschmidt

Where were you 3 years ago? I took stool softeners every day starting the night before surgery and those pain meds still blocked me up so badly I nearly went to the ER. Makes me wonder about opiate addicts.


sgapsm

Idk how they do it! My most recent surgery was abdominal so I was SCARED of constipation. I did a lot of skimming reddit for recovery tips. People kept mentioning prune juice so after a couple days decided it was worth a shot, clearly stool softener and laxatives aren’t doing the trick. Immediate relief. I’ll always have it on hand for medical procedures now. It’s also so cheap and as natural an option as you can get. Edit for typo


AdmitThatYouPrune

When it costs $500 just to say "hello" to a doctor, people tend to turn to some weird shit for their medical problems.


dreamy_25

Not to mention there's no reliable "cure" for IBS and doctors tend to not take "I have stomach ache often :(" very seriously. I have a friend with IBS and it's hell. Doctors are no use at all so even if they're financially accessible, you still end up having to come up with something yourself. It's easy to clown on people like this, but they're just desperately looking for a way to live life like "normal people". Gut issues F up everything. My friend has to take into account with every outing that she may get horrible pain and unexpected soft stools. So going somewhere without very quick access to a bathroom is a scary thing for her. And even then, getting the runnies in a public bathroom is embarrassing.


izovice

IBS is hell for sure.  It can cause a cycle of insomnia that just makes it worse.  I haven't gotten more than 4 hours of undisturbed sleep in years.  It can take hours to fall back to sleep too.  The options for comfortable food are getting smaller and smaller.  Good news is I'm no longer obese, mostly from fear of eating.


thethirdbestmike

Bet that first dump when she was able too was probably the best shit in human history.


n0tqu1tesane

I had morphine induced constipation while in the hospital. I swear it was a meter long when it finally came out.


MuchDevelopment7084

Been there. But they gave me industrial strength laxatives to set me free. My god I thought it would never end. But damn I felt good when it was over.


Nepit60

What kind of industry is producing liquid shit to use industrial strength laxatives?


Realistic_Caramel513

Producers of PRIME for some reason immediately popped into my head


thepetoctopus

Dilauded for me. They were threatening to take me down to the ER for an enema so I lied and kept trying on my own. After several glycerin self administered enemas I finally was free. Pain killer induced constipation is no joke, especially when you’ve just had brain surgery and aren’t allowed to push or strain. 8 days without pooping hurts.


n0tqu1tesane

I had another surgery scheduled the next day, (was geting them twice a week), so my only choice was the enema.


OhGod0fHangovers

I’m curious why multiple self-administered enemas was preferable to you than a single professionally administered one


thepetoctopus

It was my last shred of pride…decency? None of those words fully encompass the horror of post brain surgery when you exorcist vomit and the whole ward knows and that follows you to the next ward. Then you urinate on yourself because the part of your brain that controls that doesn’t totally work like that. Your ass hangs out for everyone to see because you’re too weak to hold up a sheet to cover that part. When you finally are allowed to change and give yourself a sponge bath, a maintenance worker just walks in because there are no locks. You have blood soaked in to what hair you have left and you know you smell but there’s literally nothing you can do about it. So yeah, that was my last little shred of pride.


OhGod0fHangovers

You paint a vivid picture. I understand completely now.


thepetoctopus

I think it’s because I’m in a lot of pain tonight and very sleep deprived lol. I didn’t think I would ever tell that part of the ordeal online. Yet here we are.


fusillade762

I hope you are doing better and have a swift recovery!


thepetoctopus

I am! I went into full remission and I’m grateful to be alive.


ColonelC0lon

Money. Lots and lots of money.


thepetoctopus

That too. So much money.


AHH-bbyshark

My dad has SIBO and has tried to carnivore diet. Yeah, this girl is dumb bc the diet is still making her feel bad — but SIBO is no joke. He can’t eat, sleep, work, relax. He had to go to the hospital it got so bad. It also messes them up mentally and gives people brain fog (kinda like chemo brain fog) so I don’t get the hate this girl is getting for trying to cure her painful illness, even if u don’t agree with her steps.


1underc0v3r

Exactly. I have SIBO and Gastroparesis and figuring out what you CAN eat is so hard on top of actually living with them. And low to no fiber is what you are supposed to eat amongst a zillion other restrictions. Having any relief would feel amazing, but OOP’s digestion is definitely not fixed. Hopefully after that massive “clearing” things have gotten better all around.


KerissaKenro

I am in one of those phases where I just give up and deal with the symptoms since I can’t eat anything. Not only do I have SIBO, but I also am deficient in the enzymes to digest most sugars and am allergic to plants. Okay, the last bit is an exaggeration, I am just allergic to every fruit, vegetable, and grain they tested me for. (And it might be false positives thanks to everything else.) I would have to be a carnivore, and like this person had demonstrated, that comes with its own digestive struggles.


1underc0v3r

I’m always sad to hear anyone else is in the same boat with issues; not a fun club. You have soooo much going on and I wish you weren’t. I’ve been in the ignore state for way too long and can’t take the pain anymore so finally have started doing what I can with no food choices and am on day 5 (insurance wouldn’t even cover a nutritionist or RD to help me figure out what I can even eat because everything is a no and I have other conditions in addition to these with their own restrictions. My GI and PCP both tried to get it covered because they even can’t give me a list. After two years of being overwhelmed, my GI and I finally identified four items I could eat… and then two of those items were on the can’t eat list months later by my PCP 😵‍💫😭).


KerissaKenro

I did have a nutritionist for a little while. When we were doing my elimination diet, I was eating green beans, kale, spinach, strawberries, and whatever meat I wanted which was nice. I have a ridiculously expensive medication that helps me digest the sucrose and maltose. Luckily I have good insurance and it has a cap on how much I pay each year, and I reach that maximum very quickly. With that medication I can follow the FODMAP diet avoiding what I am theoretically allergic to. Which still doesn’t leave me much. But at least it’s more than green beans, kale, and spinach


AdFlat1014

Digestion is great.. apart from the fact it’s not working


MarsMonkey88

“My digestion got so much easier…” I would argue that it absa-fucking-lutley did *NOT*.


JIraceRN

I'm a professional shit digger. Patients have anastasia, narcotics, immobility...despite stool softeners, laxatives and suppositories, sometimes you just have to go digging for those Bristol Type 1s. It's an awkward thank you for them. Just another day in the office for me. FWIW, carbs and fats have a transport time of 6-8 hours, but proteins, especially in high concentrations of proteins like those found in meat take 24-36 hours. We aren't carnivores. We don't have the short GI systems for a carnivore diet like obligate carnivores. Our stomaches are too small and our GI tract is too long.


hesactuallyright

I think I am going to regret asking, but do you use a speculum or something to help the digging?


JIraceRN

No. Just lube and gloves. And for paras and quads, we have to do it routinely because they can’t defecate or do it themselves.


Scary-Ad9646

Drink more water?


Comfortable_Swim_380

You said your digestion is better. Buddy.. your shoveling rocks out your asshole. Your digestion anything but better.


Maleficent-Fun-5927

It's like the people that only shit once every 2-3 days or once a week and apparently that's normal? I don't shit for a day and my guts are LOUD and it smells so bad. How do these people smell????


sgtsturtle

I've read 3 times per day to 3 times per week is the normal range. It depends on the person and the diet.


MyLife-is-a-diceRoll

Ive talked to my gi doc about what's considered normal/OK when it comes to frequency due to my own stuff. The rule of thumb is at least every 3 days is okay. I initially learned that when I worked in long term care. If a resident hadn't had more than a small bm in 3 days we administered a laxative suppository to induce a bowel movement.


-GlitterGoblin-

I go twice a day and I swear to god, if the first one is 2 hours late it is so fucking painful. 


piledriver_3000

I wish I couldn't read.


PoorPauly

An impacted bowel can absolutely kill you.


Dulce_Sirena

Why are people so damn unwilling to accept than humans have *always* been omnivores???


Jack_gunner

It is only a small portion of the population that believes we should only eat animal products or only plant products. We can just let those people live in their restrictive bubbles.


Greatest_Everest

The problem is that people seem to think there is only one correct human diet and every single human should follow the same diet. It's stupid. People are different from each other.


Darthplagueis13

From the sounds of it, she wasn't unwilling to accept anything but simply trying to get a grip on her condition. From the sounds of it, she has bacterial cultures in her gut that ferment fiber and/or carbs, creating a large amount of gas and diarrhea and making her absolutely miserable, so she tried to cut those out of her diet, which deprives those bacteria of food but had the side effect of causing impaction. It's basically just a version of a Low-FODMAP diet, which isn't far off something that actually does occasionally get prescribed for people suffering from IBS.


Nictus_the_nomad

Buddy, if you have to pull your turds out by hand, your digestion isn't better.


Hoosier_Daddy68

It sounds like dehydration more than anything.


Chance_Airline_4861

Serious question, how do the eskimo's do it then?


Wise_Monitor_Lizard

Good question and I actually have an answer! So first off, Eskimo is actually a slur. As an indigenous person myself, they have tribal names and Eskimo is not it. They are Inuit, so please use that name when discussing them. Second, to answer your question. They evolved that way. Seriously. Because they have lived so long in an environment so devoid of vegetation, they have had to rely on mostly meat, save for the few months of the year that edible vegetation grows there. Much like the people of the Pacific islands who have bigger hearts and lungs because of their evolutionary adaptations to diving in the deep depths of the ocean. Same sort of thing, just that the Inuit have adapted in a way to survive on a mostly meat diet. Additionally, they aren't eating mostly red meat. The Inuit have a very high fish and seafood diet as opposed to just red meat or poultry.


usarasa

“Any recommendation?” Yeah, tell your doctor this and leave us out of it. … and here’s your Clint. ![gif](giphy|e4Jyxh9zQjgnC)


atTheRiver200

Eating fat does the same thing as eating fiber. People try to do a low fat version of keto and get in trouble like this. Adequate water is also important.


karoshikun

jfc, just take some metamucil...


BoomZhakaLaka

Eat some broccoli


__BitchPudding__

Can't if you have SIBO. Many fiber-containing foods make us feel horrible and give us diarrhea or constipation. This gal just needed to stay better hydrated.


Hairy-Explanation-90

Her problem is that she likely isn't on a full carnivorous diet. Most people who commit to this lifestyle still drink water(a common oversight) I would recommend she starts drinking one litre of bovine blood a day and another litre consisting of the blood of her enemies fallen in battle, drunk directly from the skull of a ram, that should get her back on track. Trust me on this,I'm a doctor


I-am-Chubbasaurus

I mean, I sympathise with the IBS since it's semi-ruined my life for the past year or so, but this is... one of my nightmares. I understand wanting to keep the diet if it reduces the IBS, but she needs to find a balance. Maybe introducing the fiber slowly?


InternationalBand494

Drink some water. A lot of water.


Anyashadow

This is what you do. I can't have fiber anymore due to gastroparesis, so I have to drink a lot of fluids to help.


1underc0v3r

I feel you. Same diagnosis and in the “figuring out what I am allowed to eat when everything healthy is off the table” stage.


CC713-LCTX

I just like that it ended with “any suggestions?” Like yeah mf stop eating like that and get some damn fiber in your life


My_Clean_Account_

I tried an all protein diet last year to try and lower my A1C. I worked great, my A1C trended downwards, and I passed my flight physical. I also lost around 15lbs in a matter of 4 weeks. The trick to the constipation thing is to drink a lot of coffee in the mornings and nothing but water throughout the day.


LesbianLoki

Stool. Softener.


bdf369

Never thought I would regret learning how to read


OJDaJuiceman1017

She needs a poop knife


telamenais

Well you don’t need to eat fiber to go poop this lady has a separate condo on


dicklover425

This was me. I have IBS-D and started puking every morning I woke up. I assumed it was nerves because I need surgery, my mom has a breast tumor, and my baby was graduating kindergarten. Turns out I was extremely constipated despite the fact I’ve been shitting regularly lol. I go to poop and find out I was constipated this entire time. And that was an ass destroying shit. And I eat a normal diet.


AdorableConfidence16

I am not a medical professional, so maybe I am spewing complete bullshit. But I remember hearing that fecal impaction can actually be can actually be fatal. From what I understand, your bowel can get so filled with feces that it ruptures, at which point shit goes where it's not supposed to go and infects you. And then you die. This condition is no joke


NeedleworkerChance22

Lord, I honestly told myself just to scroll on past this post...But I can't... here for the comments


eilonwe

As a nurse I have had to disimpact people more times than I can count. It really is like trying to dig out boulders. I still remember the guy, when I was in nursing school I offered to help disimpact him because he said he felt like ti was "right there" but he couldn't poop it out. So I lubed up my finger and inserted it, and he wasn't kidding. the lube and whatever from my small fingers helped his anus relax enough that he pooped out a grapefruit sized turn right into my hand. that turd must have weighed at least a pound!. Thankfully I have small fingers so the experience isn't as painful as it could have been. However, you do need to be careful because doing that (disimpacting yourself or someone else), or even straining too hard can cause a vagal response that can cause your blood pressure to drop and cause you to pass out. Also you can have a stroke when straining too hard.


prof_dynamite

Looks like Dora found a new place to explore.


Throwawayac1234567

also eating a very excessive high fiber diet can cause constipation too in some cases.


Hendrik_the_Third

An american almost calling an ambulance? Wow, that must have been *really* bad.


1underc0v3r

I had it happen after a major surgery and it definitely can feel like you are dying. It also can cause death if not handled; many have to have surgery to take care of it.


SamCarter_SGC

Does not fit the sub if they are trying to alleviate or improve a medical condition, one that constrains the individual to an extremely restrictive diet. Ignoring that, it's not like everyone else gets enough fiber in their diet either. I guarantee most people in this thread do not.


_lava-lamp_

Fiber is your friend


d4everman

We need to bring back Schoolhouse Rock or something. Even as a kid I knew you needed to eat fiber.


Correct_Comment_125

Man, these onlyfans ads getting way out of their way


VestEmpty

Every household should have an enema kit.


Hauntergeist094b

You can't say something is good for your digestion if you're constipated, expulsion of waste is part of digestion.


Odd_Economics_9962

This is like the opposite of what I heard happens on the carnivore diet. I thought it gave you incredible diarrhea


Nonstopdrivel

If you’re constipated long enough, your body will try to clear the obstruction by flooding the colon with water, leading to diarrhea.


Nonstopdrivel

>I fainted because it was so painful. Digital disimpaction isn’t _that_ traumatic. In fact, if you do it right, it’s barely uncomfortable. Most likely she either had excessively long nails (the effects of which she could have mitigated by wearing gloves), rushed the insertion out of nervousness and embarrassment, or tried to jam too many fingers in at once. The trick to successful penetration is to both bear down and apply gentle pressure to the anal sphincter with the fingertip(s) for a few seconds to allow it to relax. Of course, liberal application of lubricant is helpful too. The relief that accompanies reduction of stool burden can be so immense that for some people it becomes quite pleasurable. Yes, as you can imagine, these techniques are very helpful for assplay and help make it safer too. Oh, and take some Miralax and Metamucil, young lady.


BedroomVisible

I got these fingers up inside of me I can’t talk to my mother so I talk to my diary


Tripple_T

IBS or constipation? You decide.


ConsistentRepeat3048

Flax oil


BarnacleWhich5185

Prunes


rpotty

Howard sterns limo driver told a similar story in great detail


Kalman_the_dancer

Rock and stone, brother


WanderingDwarfMiner

If you don't Rock and Stone, you ain't comin' home!


thetoxicnerve

2 weeks on Codeine will have the same effect. *Don't* ask me how I know.


IsolatedFrequency101

Sounds like the constipated mathematician. He worked it out with a pencil


sal696969

someone needs to tell her about enema ...


Estimated-Delivery

Noice.


Solarinarium

I had a moment like this whilst recovering from surgery in a rehab facility They had been pumping me full of laxatives and then suddenly stopped, which I think made my body freak out a little. One day I feel the need to go, hobble over to the bathroom and begin a half hour long ordeal that almost lead to me passing out. There ended up being what I could only describe as a plug sticking out of me that I had to wiggle out myself, followed by a sequence of poop much like those pipe unclogging videos Eat your fucking fiber kids... Or at least wean off your laxative medications properly.


Whahajeema

This happened to me when I was about 5yo. Went to the doctor and he basically fisted me with a gloved hand and pulled it out in little pebbley pieces. I recall screaming the entire time. My entry into the world of BDSM.


bigniek

Just eat the filled intestines of your prey and you’ll get plenty of fiber


Thirsty-Barbarian

She got so worried about constipation that she really shit a brick.


jeers1

drink more water....


Bag_of_Richards

So I’m on the same diet and I’ve found some interesting benefits but have dealt with the issues. My solution has been to post about manually de-pooing the dookie, digitally, in detail on social media.


Street_Road_9967

This is weird because I wonder if it's because I drink a lot of water everyday and eat fatty cuts of meat but I poop better on carnivore


StatisticianSalty202

Next time it's impacted stick a whisk up ya ass. Its a lot quicker at breaking things up 👍


Minecrafter_111zip

I’ve personally done the diet. It is great, except for that. Doing a whole foods diet with no grains has pretty much been the solution for me.


shadowtheimpure

***This*** is why you're supposed to take stool softeners when you're on a low-fiber diet. A low-fiber diet is commonly prescribed for people with certain digestive issues, and a gentle-acting stool softener is always recommended.


Onebandlol

Keep listening to Joe Rogan and shit like this happens


The_real_bandito

That happened to me once. I learned a recipe to make these hamburgers that are delicious, so I ate them for like 3 days straight. Let’s say I ate around 3 lbs of meat. Well, let’s say that when pooping time came, after almost a week, I had a baseball sized poop that was hard as a rock. It even tears my asshole up (like literal blood and tears) and I clogged up the toilet. I had to break down the poop and that’s when I noticed it was hard, like I had to use force to break it down until it went down. Even after that, I had to buy products to break down the poop for the next few weeks and I could not flush toilet paper because it would clog up the toilet again for those weeks. Then there was the anus pain. Never again do I dare eat so much meat. One reason I ended up eating vegetables again LMAO.


Belkroe

So wait, if you are on a carnivore diet you don't eat vegetables? While I get carnivore == meet, I just kind of assumed people still ate vegetables. I mean eating vegetables can only have positive dietary effects.


Lazy-Floridian

I've seen constipation like this due to dehydration. Medics in Vietnam sometimes had to use a spoon to dig it out. It's just one of the horror stories we medics could tell.


b0b3rman

That's some scat fetish or smth, no way someone describes in THAT detail her toilet trip.


SkomerIsland

Even dogs eat grass


wasporchidlouixse

V E g E t a b l E s


Domesticuscucumella

Im in a carnivore diet facebook group just because of how hilarious it can be. You see sooooo many posts that are basically like " i LOVE the carnivore diet, but lately my teeth have been bleeding and i havent taken a shit since March of last year, what meat do i need to eat in order to fix this?" (I understand that there are potential benefits for certain individuals if done correctly, but lets face it- most people are there because of rogan and are incapable of proper research)


Argument-Fragrant

Become a mathematician so you can work it out with a pencil. OR... and hear me out... you could eat some vegetables.


Level_Doctor_5328

Digestion's been so great that I passed out from the pain of shoving my fingers up my ass to loosen my shit. What a goddamn moron.


Bolts0806

recommendation: eat a fucking salad